Sherri (2009) s01e11 Episode Script

la, la, la, la la, la, la, la la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Ah, california-French I really like what they did with this place.
I liked it when it was the soul food deli.
Now where am i supposed to get my sweet-Potato blintzes? Ezra's blintz factory on 15th.
Yeah, that didn't make it.
Now it's a place where you can get your picture taken with your dog.
I give it a month before it's a bank.
It is a bank.
Girls, i just can't tell you how much it means That you invited me to one of your lunch outings.
Aw, summer, we love that you came.
No, really, i can't tell you.
Still not sure how fun this is.
Hello, ladies.
Can i bring you something from the bar? I'll just have water.
Iced tea.
Iced tea and your phone number.
Oh, and, uh, if you forget the iced tea, i won't care.
And for you? Yeah, do you have herbal tea? Yes.
Interesting.
I'll have a screwdriver.
I wonder if he's single.
Oh, angie.
[ Chuckles .]
New york city waiter, handsome, Perfect hair and teeth.
Gay.
Gay.
Gay.
Ugh.
It's so hard to meet men lately.
Aw, you know what they say You find it when you're least looking for it.
I mean, who would have thought I'd be dating my son's pediatrician? I am, and i am having a great time.
I got tickets for us to see chrisette michele next week.
[ All murmur .]
It's getting pretty serious with randy, huh? Well, serious enough that i want you to meet him.
[ All gasp .]
Oh, what? We finally get to meet the mysterious randy? Look at us Four girls sitting in a café, talking about guys.
This is so "sex and the city"! Girl, i'm a paralegal from brooklyn Wearing spanx and jessica simpson shoes, Sitting next to a reverend's wife.
"Sex and the city" it is not.
[ Laughter .]
Okay, so, when's the big randy unveiling? How about saturday? Bo's with kevin.
Oh, that's great.
I just happen to be free.
Uh, well, let's be real i'm married.
I'm always free.
[ Laughs .]
And you both can bring dates.
Ooh! We'd love to bring dates.
Do you have any? So, what about bart peaslee? Aren't you two dating? I cannot imagine that a founding partner Of one of the most prestigious law firms in new york city Would want to hang with us at sherri's house.
Then you're not dating? Well, not in the western sense, no.
What does that mean? It means we're not dating.
Where's my drink? Wait! Oh, my god! I think you might totally like this guy Who lives in my building.
Yeah, he's cute.
He's kind of snooty.
He sells rare books online.
I'll bring him for you.
Oh, a fix-Up? Really? Oh, i don't know.
Okay.
[ Chuckles .]
I'll bring someone for you.
What do you like in a guy? A job, lungs, and a head.
Hey, you know what would be fun? Let's make it a game night.
Yeah, that's a great way for us to get to know randy.
You only want a game night Because you and miles are such bloodthirsty competitors That you aren't happy unless you leave a party With everybody's head on a stick.
And how did you learn that about me? Game night.
Oh, randy, this is great! The flowers and the california chardonnay, The french cheeses.
I usually buy my cheese in doodle form.
Well, i enjoy doing this, And, uh, i really want your friends to like me.
And i really want you to like me.
I'd like you with or without the cheese.
We can lose the cheese.
Mmm.
I like you better with the cheese.
[ Giggles .]
Maybe it's not too late to call off the party.
I don't need to meet your friends.
I already got enough friends.
[ Knock on door .]
Don't answer that.
Let the machine pick it up.
[ Knock on door .]
Did you hear that? What? The knocking? No.
[ Doorbell buzzes .]
I didn't hear the buzzer, either.
Celia: sherri, open up! [ Knock on door .]
that, i did hear.
Okay.
I think i know you well enough to ask you Is my wig on straight? And i think i know you well enough to do this.
Ha ha! It takes a strong man to touch a black woman's hair.
Hi! Hi! [ Both chuckle .]
Let me just, uh Randy, i would like you to meet celia, my best friend, And her husband, miles, the reverend.
Miles.
Randy.
Nice to finally meet you, randy.
You too, celia.
And you, reverend.
I've heard so much about you.
Uh, sherri always talks Is there a problem? She's checking.
Will you send me the results later? [ Both chuckle .]
Funny.
Good.
Well, what an honor, what a privilege it is To meet the man that has captured our sherri's heart.
And that we could all come together on this occasion Miles Save it for sunday.
Well, in that case, Prepare for a game-Night beatdown.
And is that brie? [ Chuckles .]
Wonderful people.
Kind of scary game players.
Wow, sherri, look at this spread.
Your parties are usually catered by the newsstand.
Oh, it was all randy.
He came, brought my favorite wine, set up everything.
All i did was roll bo's toys up in a carpet And throw it in his room.
[ Knock on door .]
Oh, excuse me.
I'll get that.
Well, can i get you two a drink? Water big glass.
Got to stay hydrated for the lightning round.
Hey, summer.
Hi, sherri.
This is danny, my friend and my plumber.
Licensed, bonded, and i play a little harmonica.
[ Chuckling .]
oh.
But he won't.
Glad you could come.
So, has angie arrived with my her friend? Not yet.
Wow, look at that faucet! That's a dinosaur.
You drinking water out of that thing? Only every day.
Shouldn't i? Sure.
What does the e.
P.
A.
Know? Oh, goat cheese! I'm randy.
It's nice to meet you.
You must be summer.
Why? How would you know that? Did sherri say something? Did she tell you that i was summer? I wouldn't.
She didn't.
Who are you? I'm summer.
It's nice to meet you.
Well, you have certainly put a spark in our sherri's eye And a delightful hitch in her get-Along.
Oh, no.
It seems that my plumber doesn't understand The need for a cheese knife.
No, danny, don't put that back.
It is yours now.
[ Knock on door .]
Hi, angie.
Hi, sherri.
What's all this? Oh, deviled eggs from my mother.
Yeah, i promised i'd get them here, but i never said what i'd do with them.
Where's your garbage? [ Gasps .]
are you randy? I am.
It's nice to meet you.
Let me grab those.
Oh, be careful.
They've been known to eat right through.
Sounds like my mom's recipe.
[ Laughs .]
Oh, he's adorable! Hang on to him.
I was on the couch, till all you guys showed up.
Hi, angie.
Hey, summer.
Is that the guy you brought for me? Wow.
He's handsome.
Wait what's wrong? Why don't you want him for yourself? He's your type.
He's a plumber ragged around the edges, You know, with that certain blue-Collar je ne sais quoi.
[ Chuckles .]
That's "i don't know" in french.
Yeah, i-I know what it means.
What i don't know is why you brought him for me.
Is this who you think i am? Because i was bringing you a rare-Book seller Who drives a vintage aston martin.
Where is he? Right now? Uhat his daughter's ballet recital.
With his wife.
I didn't realize he was married.
Okay, so you're whining about the plumber And yet you brought me no one? You don't have no one.
You have the plumber.
[ Harmonica plays .]
Who plays the harmonica.
Are you kidding me? [ Sighs .]
Danny, give it to me.
Wipe it off.
I'll put it in my purse.
Come on.
Okay, everybody.
We're just about to start.
Okay, the game is called "moral compass.
" It's just a great way to learn more about your friends.
It's not really about the competition.
And that's dr.
Gregg, singing the loser's national anthem.
Mm! Mm! Mm! Mm! Team marson! Team marson! Wow.
Okay, everybody else partner up.
Oh, i'm bartending.
[ Chuckles .]
Looks like it's us beauty and the plumber.
[ Snorts .]
Sweet.
Salut! Okay, these are your answer cards.
They either say "yes" or "no.
" Don't show anybody.
These are your question cards.
You score points by asking questions And trying to pick someone Whose answer you think will match your card.
Yeah, okay.
Everyone's got it.
Let's go.
Who wants to ask the first "moral compass" question? Well, you're our guest, so you pick.
Uh, we go first.
We're sitting due north.
We looked up the rules online.
Well, i'm neither shocked nor surprised.
Let the game begin.
"Your son gets an 'a' "On a book report that you actually wrote.
When the teacher confronts you, do you admit it?" [ Chuckles .]
let's see, baby.
'Cause i have to find someone who has an answer to match this card.
Wow! If only i knew someone well enough to predict Their Answer.
You know what? There's some ice in the freezer.
I'm gonna sherri.
[ Sighs .]
What was the question? You heard the question.
Would you admit you wrote the book report? Fine.
No.
Ha! Ah! [ Miles and celia laugh .]
Mm! Mm! Mm! Mm! Ooooh! Ooooh! [ Miles and celia laugh .]
All right.
Come on.
What mom hasn't written her kid's book report Or done a science project? I once saw a volcano shoot out real lava And those plastic trees explode.
I know that kid didn't do it, 'Cause he gets lost going to the bathroom.
Yeah, well, that is one point for team marson.
You are so sexy right now! Bring it here.
Whoo! Bring it here.
Bring it over here.
[ Laughs .]
When you said "game night," I thought you meant darts or beer pong.
I'm gonna have to put my thinking cap on.
You don't actually have one, do you? Sherri, it's your turn.
[ Chuckling .]
oh, okay.
Hmm.
"A former flame who broke your heart sends you an e-Mail "Telling you that she's still in love with you "And wants to get back together.
Do you tell your significant other about the e-Mail?" [ Laughs .]
oh, i got this.
In your face! [ Mimics explosion .]
Okay, so i have to find Someone's answer that matches my card.
And i believe i will get it from randy.
So, randy, Would you tell your significant other about the e-Mail? Um No.
Ha ha! Let me see if i'm understanding this.
An old girlfriend says she loves you, And you keep this to yourself? On the d.
L.
? Mum's the word? Sherri, i wouldn't say anything Because i wouldn't want to upset you.
Why would you think i'd be upset? You're upset now, and it's just hypothetical.
Let's say it's not hypothetical.
Let's say it's totally "thetical.
" There must be an old girlfriend.
You can't tell me there's no old girlfriend.
Obviously.
I mean, you're not the first woman i've ever dated.
Well, of course.
[ Chuckles .]
Because that would be ridiculous! Uh, you know what? Let's get back to this fun, fun game.
Good idea.
You got to tell a woman about your past If you want the relationship to work.
You can't hold back.
Women don't like to wonder.
Oh, my god.
That is so beautiful.
I don't even know what to say.
I do.
That is the most sensitive, insightful remark I've ever heard from a man.
Well, that's just me.
I-I-I can't get physically intimate with a woman Unless i'm emotionally intimate.
[ Summer and angie gasp .]
My g Okay, here's one very safe.
"You're walking down the street And you find a paper bag full of money" I'm sorry one more thing.
These women that you've dated in the past "There's no name on the bag" have you been in touch with any of them? No! Well, not really.
One or two.
Well, really, just one.
She's she's friendly.
You'd like her.
Oh, i'm sure.
'Cause i like everyone.
This new friend of mine, by any chance, Did she say she wanted to get back together with you? No.
You sound so sure.
Has the subject come up? Sherri, the relationship ran its course.
We dated for nine years.
[ All gasp .]
You dated somebody for nine years? Well, no, it was six.
We were engaged for three.
Oooh! Randy.
Randy, randy, randy.
Uh Uh, pictionary there's a swell game.
This never happens when we play pictionary.
Miles, no.
When were you gonna tell me you were engaged? Well, i don't know.
It never came up.
Why didn't it? I mean, you were in a long relationship, And you never pulled the trigger.
I find that very interesting.
Sherri, it was a different time, with a different person.
It has nothing to do with us.
I don't know.
It might.
Maybe you have commitment issues.
Commitment Sherri, when did this become a commitment issue? I don't know.
I'm thinking somewhere between the years four and nine.
You know, i would really rather not Have this conversation in front of our guests.
Celia, powerbar.
I'm thinking you would rather not Have the conversation at all.
I would love to have the conversation, sherri, But i want to do it in a stadium with megaphones.
Look, i just came out of a marriage where a man cheated on me.
I-I don't like surprises.
I need to be able to trust you.
You can trust me.
I thought i could, But i got this from one question from a silly little game.
It scares me about what else i don't know.
Well I certainly don't want to scare you anymore this evening, So i will simply say, lovely to meet you all And don't forget to refrigerate the cheddar.
Oh, sherri No, i'm fine.
Uh, i'm just not in the mood for Can you explain? I got it.
Um, hey, you guys, you know what? Uh, i think she'd rather be alone tonight.
Yeah, that's just what angie was saying.
Come on.
Let's go, danny.
Hey, wait.
No.
Don't even.
You're the one who said he was just a plumber.
Well, you're the one who said he wasn't good enough for you.
Well, turns out he is.
Well, i saw him first.
I'm not a toy! I'm a man with feelings and a harmonica.
Wow.
We really acted like idiots with danny.
I mean, he was the perfect guy.
And he was in my house over and over.
Ohh! At my feet.
On his back.
Under a sink.
Well, i learned a lesson don't judge a book.
Oh, yeah, me too.
And worse, i did it to you.
I'm so sorry.
[ Scoffs .]
at least you brought a guy.
I didn't even keep up my end of the bargain.
But i'm gonna make it up to you.
No, no.
Don't make it up to me.
No more fix-Ups.
Please.
I'm serious.
I'm done.
Are you sure? Yes.
'Cause if you're really sure, i'll keep him for myself.
Yeah, you do that.
[ Scoffs .]
okay.
He's putting himself through business school by modeling underwear.
Yeah.
I don't know i guess a lot of brazilian guys do that.
Oh, well.
See you tonight, paolo.
Paolo? [ Dejectedly .]
paolo.
Hey, guys, have you seen sherri today? No, not yet.
But how did the rest of the evening go? Well, miles went home And tried to break his own record for holding his breath.
Sherri polished off a bottle of wine, And then we burned "moral compass" in the alley.
Hey, everybody.
How you doin'? I brought doughnuts.
I've got crullers, i've got bear claws.
[ Gasps .]
my treat.
I'm still so embarrassed, So look at the doughnuts and not me.
Oh, sherri.
Aw, sherri, it's not as bad as you think.
So you had a fight in front of your friends.
And your direct superior.
Yeah, you think everyone's talking about you, But people let it go.
Here first day of high school, Windy day, me on the front steps in my new wraparound skirt.
Yeah.
You see where i'm going with that? Yeah.
For the next four years, my nickname was "rear window.
" You know, the whole point of that night Was for you guys to get to know him.
Turns out, i hardly know him.
Well, it's a process, sherri.
I mean, i'm still getting to know my husband.
We've been married eight years, and i just recently found out That the man cannot eat as much cheese as he thinks he can.
From day one, i've been downloading my life to randy.
He knows everything about my marriage, about kevin, Paula, the baby.
Yeah, all the stuff a new boyfriend is dying to hear.
You know what men really don't want to hear? Hmm? The cast album of "mamma mia.
" Really.
Sherri And he did listen while you talked all that stuff through.
That's a good guy.
Yeah.
Maybe he would have shared more If i'd have shut my yap for two seconds.
I blew it.
I had this amazing man and i blew it.
Paolo.
Maybe not.
But now it's your turn to listen, hmm? Aren't you taking him to that concert tonight? I don't even know if he's gonna show up.
I left him a message reminding him, but he didn't call me back.
Who's paolo? I don't know.
And i shall never know.
No, you shall not.
Man: extra tickets? Extra tickets? Ma'am, you got an extra ticket? Yes.
Cool.
How much? Wait.
I don't know.
He might come.
Aah! But maybe he won't.
Here you go.
[ Gasps .]
But he might show up.
I should wait.
Anybody got an extra ticket? Just a simple "yes" or "no.
" Randy! He's here! Oh, let me update my blog.
You came! I wasn't sure i was going to.
I'm glad you did.
I just want to say i know i monopolized our conversation.
It's been all about me, and it should be about you.
I'm just gonna stop talking.
When? Now.
Just as soon as i say i'm sorry for the other night.
You can tell me as much or as little as you want.
Now i'm done.
Now it's your turn.
Right.
Okay.
Good.
Oh, where do i start? You know, there's only two ways out of a turkish prison.
[ Laughs .]
I got you.
[ Laughing .]
okay.
I, uh Collect classic comic books.
I make a mean loaf of bread.
Oh.
I've been 6 feet tall since i was 16.
[ Laughs .]
I'm letting you in easy here.
[ Laughs .]