So Weird (1999) s01e11 Episode Script

1 DEMONS COME FROM EVERY SIDE IN THE DARKNESS IS THE LIGHT OUT OF THE SHADOWS OF MY LIFE IN THE DARKNESS IS THE LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS IS THE LIGHT SURRENDER WILL WIN THE FIGHT THIS GIRL'S WALKED ON FIRE AND ICE BUT I COME OU ON THE OTHER SIDE OF PARADISE PARADISE WE KEEP HEARING "THERE'S NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT," BUT THE QUESTION IS IS THERE ANY TIME BUT THE PRESENT? REMEMBER THE PAST AND IMAGINE THE FUTURE ALL YOU WANT WE STILL SEEM TO BE STUCK IN THE HERE AND NOW.
BUT WHO DOESN'T THINK ABOUT GOING BACK TO THE PAS AND TRYING TO CHANGE THINGS THAT HAVE GONE WRONG? AND MAYBE SOMEDAY, WE'LL FIND A WAY TO TURN THE CLOCK BACK.
SCIENTISTS HAVE ALREADY FOUND THAT THE GRAVITY IN BLACK HOLES IS SO STRONG THAT IT BENDS THE FABRIC OF SPACE-TIME ITSELF.
BUT EVEN IF WE EVER DO FIND A WAY TO GO BACK, WE'LL STILL HAVE TO FACE THE POSSIBILITY THAT MAYBE WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO.
WE HAD MOLLY PHILLIPS IN THE STUDIO THIS MORNING, AND WE GOT HER TO LEAVE A DEMO WITH US.
HERE'S "IN THE DARKNESS IS THE LIGHT" HEY, THAT'S ME.
THAT'S MY SONG.
KICKING.
I'M ON THE RADIO.
ALL RIGHT, MOM, LET'S GO.
WE'RE TRYING TO PLAY HERE.
LET'S GO, GUYS.
OKAY, FI, IT'S TIME TO GE OUT OF THE WAY.
SAY HI TO THE CAMERA, JACK.
OOH, THAT WAS PRETTY.
MOM, CAN I SEND GRAMMA KATHLEEN A PRINTOUT OF THIS? YOU KNOW HOW SHE LOVES SPITTING.
MOM, WE'RE TRYING TO PLAY NOW.
OKAY, YOU'RE RIGHT.
FIONA, HONEY? OH, WAY TO GO, JACK, NICE PITCH.
HE'S GOING FOR TWO.
GET THERE.
GO TO SECOND.
GO TO SECOND.
SAFE AT SECOND.
HEY, JACK, I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE ON OUR TEAM.
LOOK, I'M WARMING UP, ALL RIGHT? YOU SEE, YOUR BROTHER IS A RARE CREATURE AMONG SPORTSMEN.
HE LIKES TO LE THE OTHER TEAM WIN SO AS TO BUILD THEIR SELF-ESTEEM.
I HEARD THAT.
HEY, ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH US? WE'RE SHORT A FIELDER, FI.
NO THANKS, I DON'T EVEN LIKE BASEBALL.
SOFTBALL.
WHATEVER.
UH, CLU, IF YOU'RE DONE, CAN WE PLAY NOW? BE MY GUEST, BROTHER MAN.
READY.
OH! I GOT FIRST.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE OUT.
ALL RIGHT.
AREN'T THERE ONLY TWO OUTS? YEAH? THEN WHY IS NOBODY COVERING HOME? HE'S SAFE.
WHAT? SAFE? THAT WAS MOLLY PHILLIPS DOING "IN THE DARKNESS IS THE LIGHT," AND NOW, HERE'S THE NEWS AT 2:00 OF ALL THE GAMES IN ALL OF ST.
LOUIS, YOU HAD TO UMP MINE.
HE'S SAFE.
HE'S OUT OF THERE.
HE'S SAFE.
HEY, ANYBODY WANT INSTANT REPLAY? WHAT GOOD IS THAT GOING DO? HEY, DIGITAL VIDEO.
30 FRAMES A SECOND, 500 LINES OF RESOLUTION.
IT DOESN'T HELP IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE TO POINT THE CAMERA.
JUST BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE BASEBALL DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T KNOW WHERE HOME PLATE IS.
ALRIGHT YOU TWO THAT'S ENOUGH.
LET'S JUST LOOK AT THE REPLAY.
WOW, MRS.
P, CHECK IT OUT.
HE WAS OUT.
YOU CAN THANK ME LATER.
SORRY, KID.
THE CAMERA NEVER LIES.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT, THREE OUTS.
NEXT TEAM UP.
JUST FOR THAT, YOU GET TO GO WITH ME TO THE OPTOMETRIST.
YOU KNOW.
SHE MIGHT'VE WANTED TO PLAY, IF YOU'D ASKED HER.
MOM, YOU HEARD WHAT SHE SAID.
SHE DOESN'T LIKE BASEBALL, WHICH, AS WE BOTH KNOW, MEANS THAT SHE STINKS.
OKAY, SO MAYBE YOU SHOULD OFFER TO COACH HER.
MOM OKAY, JUST THINK ABOUT IT, ALL RIGHT? FOUL BALL.
NOW YOU'VE DONE IT.
DONE WHAT? YOU JUST HIT THE BALL INTO MAD MAX GERKIN'S YARD.
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? I'LL GO GET IT.
WHENEVER A BALL LANDS IN HIS YARD, HE CLAIMS IT JUST DISAPPEARED.
YEAH, WELL, THAT'S MY BALL, AND I'M GOING TO GO GET IT.
GOOD LUCK.
NICE.
JACK KNOCKED ONE OUT OF THE PARK, HUH? YEAH.
HEY, UM, ARE YOU TWO GUYS GETTING ALONG OKAY? YEAH, YOU KNOW, WE'RE JUST PLAYING AROUND.
HEY, LOOK.
WITH THIS DIGITAL CAMERA I CAN BLOW UP THE FRAME BIG ENOUGH TO SEE THE THIRD BASEMAN'S FRECKLES.
YEAH? YEAH.
HEY, DID YOU HAPPEN TO GET TAPE OF THE FOUL BALL JACK JUST HIT? I THINK SO, WHY? BECAUSE IF YOU DID, WE COULD PROVE THE OLD MAN IS HIDING IT FROM US.
IN CASE IT BECOMES A MATTER FOR THE AUTHORITIES.
STAND BY FOR EXHIBIT A.
OKAY.
OKAY, THERE'S JACK AT THE PLATE.
HERE'S THE SWING.
FOUL BALL.
IT WENT OVER THE FENCE WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BALL? I'LL ZOOM IN.
NOW YOU SEE IT.
NOW YOU DON'T.
NO! I'LL GO BY WHATEVER WEIRD RULES YOU WANT, IF WE JUST GET OU OF THE HOUSE! WHAT DO YOU WANT, KID? SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, MISTER.
OUR SOFTBALL LANDED IN YOUR YARD AND I WAS JUST WONDERING NO, IT DIDN'T.
NO, IT DID.
JUST NOW.
NOPE, UH-UH.
YES, ITHEY! HEY, HOW'D YOU GET OVER HERE SO FAST? OVER WHERE? HERE.
HOW'D YOU GET HERE? WE'VE BEEN OVER HERE.
OKAY, FORGET IT.
WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING? DUDE, THAT FOUL BALL YOU HI DIDN'T LAND IN MAD MAX'S YARD.
IT VANISHED, MAN.
OH, I GET IT.
IT'S "GOOF ON JACK" DAY.
MY BALL JUST VANISHED.
AND MAD MAX IS AN ALIEN, RIGHT? WHAT'S WITH YOU TODAY? WHAT'S WITH ME? WHAT'S WITH YOU? SAYING ALL THAT NICE STUFF, AND THEN NEVER MIND.
WHAT WAS ALL THAT ABOUT? I DON'T KNOW.
DO YOU WANT TO TALK TO HIM? YEAH AFTER WE FIGURE THIS OUT.
IT'S REALLY HARD TO TELL, BUT I THINK I WAS RIGHT HERE.
MAYBE A LITTLE HIGHER UP.
NO, BRING THE TABLE CLOSE TO ME.
HERE? YEAH, I THINK SO.
WHAT NOW? I NEED A VOLUNTEER FROM OUR STUDIO AUDIENCE.
PICK ME, PICK ME! AH, YES, YOU IN THE FRONT ROW.
COME ON UP.
RIGHT.
OKAY, FOR OUR FIRST GAME, TURN AROUND AND CLOSE YOUR EYES.
OKAY.
GIVE ME THIS.
FI! HEY! CLU? WHERE ARE WE? THE WORLD'S WEIRDES LOST AND FOUND.
YEAH.
EXCEPT I'M NOT SURE IF WE'RE IN THE WORLD.
UH, NICE DOGGIE.
NICE FLOATING DOGGIE.
"THE ROCKET?" HOW DID YOU END UP IN HERE? FI.
I THINK THIS IS JACK'S BALL.
CLU, DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING.
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS PLACE IS.
AH! FI, WHAT'S HAPPENING? CLU! CLU? THAT WAS MOLLY PHILLIPS DOING "IN THE DARKNESS IS THE LIGHT," AND NOW, HERE'S THE NEWS AT 2:00.
2:00? THE AIR QUALITY COMMITTEE APPOINTED BY THE MAYOR'S OFFICE LAST JUNE HAS ANNOUNCED ITS FINDINGS.
HEY, ANYBODY WAN INSTANT REPLAY? WHAT GOOD IS THAT GOING DO? HEY, DIGITAL VIDEO.
30 FRAMES A SECOND IT CAN'T BE.
CHECK IT OUT.
YOU CAN THANK ME LATER.
SORRY, KID.
THE CAMERA NEVER LIES.
THIS CAN'T BE.
HEY, LET ME BACK IN.
LET ME BACK IN.
WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE? THIS AIN' NO PLAYGROUND.
HEY, YOU'VE BEEN INTO MY STUFF.
COME ON, OPEN THE DOOR.
COME ON, UNLOCK THE DOOR.
UNLOCK IT YOURSELF.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY TROUBLE GETTING IN.
COME ON, I HAVE TO SAVE MY FRIEND.
SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED TO HIM.
OH SURE.
I CATCH YOU IN MY STUFF, SUDDENLY YOU WANT TO GET OU TO SAVE YOUR FRIEND.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
YOU KIDS ALWAYS SNEAKING AROUND MY HOUSE, ALWAYS MAKING FUN OF ME, CALLING ME "MAD MAX.
" YOU THINK I DON'T HEAR IT? YEAH, POLICE? I GOT A SITUATION HERE.
MY FRIEND IS STUCK IN THAT THING IN YOUR BACKYARD.
GOT SOME PUNK KID SNUCK INTO MY HOUSE AND THERE'S BASEBALLS AND FRISBEES TRYING TO STEAL ALL MY STUFF AND THERE'S EVEN A DOG FROZEN IN THERE.
NOW SHE'S TRYING.
A DOG? AND CLU TOUCHED THE BALL AND GOT FROZEN TOO, AND THE WHOLE THING STARTED TO SHAKE THEN I FELL OUT.
WILL YOU SHUT YOUR YAP? WHAT KIND OF DOG? UM, I DON'T KNOW, AND THAT'S NOT THE POINT.
WHAT KIND OF DOG? II THINK IT WAS A BORDER COLLIE.
IT HAD A LITTLE TAG ON IT.
THE ROCKET.
YEAH, HOW'D YOU KNOW? THAT'S MY DOG.
EVERYBODY SAID I WAS CRAZY WHEN I SAID HE DISAPPEARED.
EVERYBODY SAID HE'D CROAKED, KICKED THE BISCUIT.
BUT HE DIDN'T, HE DIDN'T.
HE JUST WENT INTO, INTO WHERE'D YOU SAY HE WENT INTO? I DON'T KNOW, IT'S LIKE A TIME WARP THING.
TIME WARP THING? THAT'S WHAT MADE ME FALL INTO YOUR HOUSE.
YOU UNDERSTAND? YEAH, YEAH.
JUST AS I SUSPECTED.
THAT'S WHY I'VE GO TO GET OUT OF HERE, TO STOP CLU FROM GOING IN.
NO, YOU GOT TO HELP ME GET THE ROCKET BACK.
LOOK, I CAN'T WORRY ABOUT A DOG RIGHT NOW.
WE CAN'T LEAVE HIM IN THERE.
50 YEARS THE ROCKET'S BEEN MISSING.
I'VE BEEN WAITING TOO LONG.
YOU'VE GOT TO GO IN THERE AND GET HIM OUT! HAVEN'T YOU BEEN LISTENING TO ME? I COULD GET STUCK JUST LIKE YOUR DOG FOREVER, FINITO, GOODBYE, SEE YOU LATER.
SO YOU'RE CHICKEN.
I'M NOT GOING BACK IN THERE.
YOU CAN GO BACK IN THERE IF YOU WANT YOUR DOG BACK.
ALL RIGHT, I WILL.
BUT YOU GOT TO SHOW ME HOW.
FINE! AFTER I STOP CLU FROM GOING BACK IN THERE, I'LL SHOW YOU WHERE THE TIME WARP IS.
FIRST, WE GOT TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.
SO WHO'S STOPPING YOU? I DON'T KNOW! WHAT IS THIS? WHAT DID YOU DO? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! WHAT DO YOU MEAN? IT WON'T OPEN.
I KNOW! THE DOORS, THE WINDOWS, NOTHING WILL OPEN.
IT'S A SIGN.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? IT'S A SIGN.
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO STOP CLINT FROM GOING IN.
CLU.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GO BACK IN THE TIME WARP AND RESCUE THE ROCKET.
NO, NO, WE'LL ALL GET TRAPPED IN THERE.
SEE, IF YOU STOP CLIFF FROM GOING IN CLU.
THEN MAYBE YOU AIN'T AROUND TO HELP ME.
MAKES PERFECT SENSE.
NOW I KNOW HOW JACK FEELS.
THERE'S PROBABLY A RULE AGAINS IT ANYWAY.
YOU KNOW, CHANGING HISTORY AND ALL THAT.
I'M RIGHT, AIN'T I? YOU'VE GOT TO PROMISE TO RESCUE THE ROCKET.
MY FRIEND'S STUCK IN THERE.
I CAN'T WORRY ABOUT A DOG.
NO! OW, DANGED ARTHRITIS.
YOU'VE GO TO PROMISE TO RESCUE THE ROCKET.
FINE, I PROMISE.
I'LL GO INTO THE TIME WARP WITH YOU, I WON'T TRY TO CHANGE HISTORY, I'LL GO BY WHATEVER WEIRD RULES YOU WANT, IF WE JUS GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT, KID? UH, SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, MISTER.
MY SOFTBALL LANDED IN YOUR YARD NO, IT DIDN'T.
NO, IT DID.
JUST NOW.
NOPE, UH-UH.
OKAY, TIME WARP US.
NO, I GOT TO GO TALK TO MY BROTHER REAL QUICK.
BROTHER? WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR BROTHER? I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, I PROMISE.
MAX, I MAY NEVER GE ANOTHER CHANCE.
PROMISE? I PROMISE.
YOU PROMISE, NOW.
JACK! WERE YOU BEHIND ME THIS WHOLE TIME? NO, NOT EXACTLY.
SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? OH, IT'S KIND OF HARD TO EXPLAIN.
THE THING IS, I JUST WHAT? THE THING ISI KNOW I GET MAD AT YOU SOMETIMES, AND I'M NOT THE PERFECT SISTER, BUT THERE'S SO MANY OTHER THINGS AND I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY THEM.
I FEEL LIKE IF I WERE YOU, I'D KNOW HOW TO SAY THEM.
YOU'RE MY BIG BROTHER, JACK.
I LOVE YOU, JACK.
ARE YOU OKAY? LOOK, DO YOU WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY WITH US? I COULD GIVE YOU SOME POINTERS.
I KNOW YOU THINK YOU'RE NO GOOD, BUT I COULD SHOW YOU.
YOU DON'T HAVE A BALL.
I'LL FIND ONE.
YEAH, MAYBE.
I JUST GOT TO DO SOMETHING FIRST.
YEAH, OKAY.
THAT'D BE GREAT.
YEAH, IT WOULD.
IT'S ABOUT TIME.
NOW, LET'S GO IN.
WE CAN'T JUST YET.
I MEAN, IT'S AN EXACT SPOT.
WE NEED TO FOLLOW CLU AND AND ME IN THERE.
AND THEN WE GET THE ROCKET OUT? RIGHT, EXCEPT EXCEPT? WHAT EXCEPT? I'M NOT SURE HOW WE'LL GET CLU AND THE ROCKET OUT.
I MEAN CLU TOUCHED A BASEBALL, AND THE WHOLE PLACE FELT LIKE IT WAS GOING TO FALL APART.
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
NOW YOU'RE JUST MAKING UP STUFF TO TICK ME OFF! YOU KNOW, THIS COULD BE DANGEROUS.
I MEAN, WE COULD JUST JUSTTHAT'S IT.
WHAT'S IT? WE'LL SHAKE 'EM LOOSE.
SHAKE 'EM LOOSE? WHAT KIND OF CLAPTRAP IS THIS? MAX, WHAT WAS YOUR BATTING AVERAGE? WE NEED A VOLUNTEER FROM OUR STUDIO AUDIENCE.
PICK ME, PICK ME! AH, YES, YOU IN THE FRONT ROW.
COME ON UP.
OKAY, FOR OUR FIRST GAME, TURN AROUND AND CLOSE YOUR EYES.
OH, NO CLU.
CLU! LIKE I ALWAYS SAY, NEVER THROW AWAY YOUR PATIO FURNITURE.
THAT TIME WARP MUST BE 10 FEE OFF THE GROUND.
NO WONDER I NEVER FOUND IT.
THIS BAT WAS USED IN 1948 BY THE GREATES HITTER IN ST.
LOUIS LARKS HISTORY, EDDY "THE ROCKET" RABOWSKY.
SO WE CAN'T GO WRONG WITH IT.
CLU! THE ROCKET.
NO, NO, WE GO TO HURRY, MAX.
HOW YOU DOING, BOY? HOW YOU DOING? GOOD OLD BOY, YOU OKAY IN THERE? MAX, WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.
WHEN YOU DISAPPEARED, EVERYBODY SAID I WAS CRAZY.
THAT'S WHY I BOUGHT THIS HOUSE WHEN I GOT BIGGER.
I FIGURED IF I JUST WAITED LONG ENOUGH, IF I KEPT AN EYE ON THAT BACKYARD, THEN MAYBE I'D SEE YOU AGAIN.
AND NOW I HAVE.
I HAVE.
I HAVE.
IF WE'RE GOING TO DO THIS, WE'VE GOT TO DO IT NOW.
LET'S GO.
YEAH, YEAH, OKAY, OKAY.
WE HAVE GO TO HURRY.
OKAY, OKAY, BATTER UP.
WHAT? YOU'VE GOT TO DO IT.
IT'S MY ARTHRITIS I CAN'T GRIP THE BAT.
YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS NOW? WOULD YOU HAVE COME IN HERE IF I'D TOLD YOU BEFORE? MAX, I STINK.
DON'T YOU GET IT? I CAN'T DO IT.
QUIT YOUR BELLYACHING AND TAKE THE DANGED BAT.
NOW, KEEP IN MIND, IT AIN'T HOW HARD YOU SWING, YOU JUST NEED TO FIND THAT SWEET SPOT.
MAX KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL.
BEND YOUR KNEES, BUT NOT TOO MUCH.
KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL.
KEEP THOSE WRISTS RELAXED.
VISUALIZE MAKING GOOD CONTACT.
WAIT WAIT AND BE QUICK.
JUST HOW THE ROCKE WOULD DO IT.
DON'T BE NERVOUS.
I'M NOT NERVOUS.
I'M NOT NERVOUS.
WELL, YOU SEEM A LITTLE NERVOUS.
MAX I DID IT.
I DID IT.
I DID IT.
WAY TO GO, KID! AGAIN! OKAY.
OKAY.
THAT'S IT.
THAT'S IT.
AGAIN.
AGAIN.
WE MADE IT, CLU, WE MADE IT.
I THOUGHT I'D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN, BUT WE MADE IT.
JACK! FI! WHERE WERE WE? WHAT WAS THAT PLACE? IT WAS LIKE SOME KIND OF TIME WARP ZONE, THEN WE WERE FROZEN INSIDE IT, AND MAX WAS MAX? OH, NO.
MAX WASMAX? MAX? MAX? NO, MAX HE REMEMBERS ME.
MAX! FIONA? FI, ARE YOU OKAY? JACK, YEAH, I'M OKAY.
JACK, I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU.
CLU, MAN, WHAT HAPPENED OUT HERE? COSMIC WEIRDNESS, MAN.
I WONDER IF THIS MEANS I'M GOING TO HAVE TO STUDY PHYSICS? COME ON, COME ON WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM? I THINK THIS ONE'S YOURS.
THANKS.
DON'T MENTION IT.
YOU SEE THAT? YOU SEE THAT? THE ROCKET HE'S STILL GOT HIS REFLEXES, EVEN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.
DID I MISS SOMETHING? YOU TAKE THIS ONE, CLU.
I'M GOING TO GO PLAY SOME BASEBALL.
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, FI'S ON MY TEAM.
HEY! THANKS FOR SAVING THE ROCKET, KID.
YOU'RE GOING TO NEED A BAT.