Still the King (2016) s01e11 Episode Script
Seshfest
1 Previously on "Still the King" One left, must be your lucky day.
What's this? Oh, my daughter wrote it.
It's local bands she's listening to, stuff like that.
It's good, too.
I'm gonna check it out.
- Are you Charlotte? - Yes, I am.
I'm Allison, I work at Nashville Scene.
Oh.
Who are you listening to right now? Right now, Party Break are my current favorite.
Thank you, we're Party Break, goodnight! You better shut your mouth.
Or what? Yo, get screwed, Asher.
No! You get screwed, Dallas! I've gotta say, this is pretty cool.
Thanks, everybody! Thank you very much! Put your hands together for my old buddy, Burnin' Vernon! Go! Are you serious? So now what's this "Toe Jam" thing? I mean, the name sounds kind of unappealing to be honest with you.
Uh, no, it's called KickJam, it's this indie music fest.
They have a lot of local bands and a few big headliners.
Yeah, man, I can't keep up with all these new bands, man.
One Protection.
Feta Wrap.
Curly Rae Jepsen.
I'm lost.
Literally none of those are actual band names.
That's how I feel about it, too! What ever happened to Deep Purple? Lynyrd Skynyrd? Those are band names! Dude, Allison was so nice, she said she loved my zine and that I have a "unique voice".
Now that's the lady from the paper, right? Yeah, I want a job like hers when I graduate.
Man, I've not seen you this excited.
I'd be lying, if I said I wasn't proud of you.
Hey, you know, Allison's gonna give me an extra pass.
You wanna come with? Are you serious? I figure I owe you, since you took me to Trayne Crostown.
Hell, yeah! That sounds like fun! I mean, whatever it's cool.
Cool.
It's this Saturday.
But I have to be there early, so you might want to meet me there.
But don't worry, they'll be better seats than Crostown.
- Hah-hah! All right, you ready? - Yup.
Now, hands at the one and the three.
And punch it! Woo-hoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! All right, yeah! That's my girl! (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) Hi.
Hope I didn't keep you waiting for too long.
I had to handle a minor crisis.
No worries.
Is everything cool? Oh, yeah.
We're doing a spread on this band Maxie Dean and the lead singer keeps pestering us to airbrush him in more of a thigh gap.
So, if he doesn't cool out, I'm probably just gonna air brush him out all together.
So here are your credentials.
Sweet, thanks.
And I spoke to my bosses, and if the article's really good you'd be a shoe-in for our summer internship program.
Would you be down? Yeah, so down! Are you kidding me? I really need you to knock this one out of the park for me, kiddo, all right? 'Cause I talked you up to them.
But, you're still allowed to have fun 'cause this is gonna be a kick-ass music festival, right? Okay, bye.
Bye! Thank you for the passes! Man, can you believe Charlotte invited me to go with her? I'm like trying to play it all cool and everything like, "whatever.
" I'm not sure you're supposed to "play it cool" if you're someone's dad.
Good point.
(CAR HORN HONKS) [VERNON.]
What the hell, who's that driving up? Look, he's in a limo.
What the hell? [VERNON.]
Hey, Crazy Dave! What are you doin', man? You going to a funeral, or wedding, or what? You have been bequeathed the honor of performing with history's greatest entertainer, Trayne Crostown upon the eve of the morrow.
What the hell does all that mumbo-jumbo mean? Well, Trayne wants you to come back and sing with him again.
It seems like the crowd got all excited about that the other night.
They were calling for an encore! Encore performance? We'll be there! Well, that'll be okay, because it says artist plus one assistant.
Slow your scroll, Crazy Dave.
I'm nobody's assistant.
Assistant, sidekick, wingman, whatever floats your boat.
Hey, listen, I gotta go.
I gotta get back to the tux shop.
I think this one's got bed bug issues.
Hey! How'd you know where I was at, anyway? Trayne's got eyes everywhere.
Heck, if you work for him for five years they give you one of these bad boys.
Installation didn't hurt a bit once the pain medication kicked in.
That Trayne, what a great man.
He's a real humanitarian.
- (CAR ENGINE STARTS) - Whoo! Man, can you believe it? I'm back! Whoo! Hey! Aren't you supposed to be at Charlotte's KickJam thing "on the eve of the morrow"? Oh, man, that's not gonna be no problem, man.
The Crostown duet, that'll happen early and then I'll just head on down to Charlotte's gig.
Plus, I'll have my responsible, mature friend, Walt, with me.
You know, I think changing the sign over is my favorite of all the chores.
You boys are gonna make that a little more appropriate, right? Yes, sir.
How does he know? (COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING) I gotta hand it to you, it's pretty cool that Trayne asked you to come back.
Hey, do you think he'd remember my dad? Of course, he will, man.
Everyone loved your pops.
Might want to take it easy on the booze.
I mean, you gotta perform later and then you gotta go meet Charlotte.
Walt, this isn't amateur hour, man.
You're gonna hang with the rock stars you gotta party like a rock star.
Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.
Okay.
- No way.
- Holy crap.
Burnin' Vernon Brown! Hey, man, thanks for having me Towel boy! Whoo! It means a lot that you got Special water! Ah Backwash! No Backwash? Somebody's not partying.
Oh, yeah, I'm still partying, uh, Walt? Oh on the way, hoss.
Come on, let's do this, huh? - Let's do it! - Hit it, man! - (MUSIC PLAYING) - Oh! You got it, man.
Well now I left Oklahoma drivin' in a Pontiac Just about to lose my mind I was goin' to Arizona Maybe on to California Where the people there live so fine hey My baby said I'z crazy Mama called me lazy - (MUSIC STOPS) - I'z gon You crossed the line! Is that a good or bad thing? It's the equivalent of going over the Military Demarcation Line that separates North and South Korea.
Holy Cow, man! So is that a good or bad thing? I still don't understand.
Look, Trayne is the only one allowed to cross the line while performing onstage.
No one is allowed to upstage Trayne.
Well, I guess I just got caught up in the moment.
Won't happen again.
Take me to the chorus! (MUSIC PLAYING) Living on Tulsa time Living on Tulsa time Gonna set my watch right to it 'Cause it'll help me through it Living on Tulsa time yeah Livin' on Tulsa time That sounds good, man.
That sounds good.
- (MUSIC STOPS) - Hey you've done this before? Yeah, sure.
Whoo! Here's your Backstage Backwash drink.
Hey, cheers, man, cheers to me, cheers to me and my show.
Mm-hm.
Hey, man, can you introduce me to Trayne now? I just want to ask about my dad and stuff, you know.
Hey, Walt, help me out with a little extra Backwash there.
- Really? - Yeah, quickly.
I'd be happy to.
Hey, Walt! Before you go put a little extra kick in this one? Make it a double.
Hah-hah-hah! That's my boy! That's my boy right there! That's my boy! Okay, guys! Who's ready to rock? Is this some kind of pre-show meditation thing? Oh boy, um, so just to be clear you guys don't want to go on because you're wearing matching shirts? I offered to wear the same shirt so that we could all match.
Shut up, Val! Okay well, obviously one of you is gonna have to change.
There's no way I'm gonna change okay? It's the front man's job to really standout you know, to be the face of the band.
If anything, you two should probably just match the backdrop.
Mabel! Can we find out what color the backdrop is? And get these guys some shirts to match? Looking into it now! What the hell, dude? I'm not changing.
Hey, Dallas, look I'm really glad you're standing your ground but tonight's your shot to play the new song you wrote and you already have the attention of the Nashville Scene, I I'm sorry, Charlotte, okay? I know you have an article to write, but I gotta make a stand sometime, okay? He's getting out of control.
If anyone is gonna change, it's going to be him.
He doesn't even know who The Melvins are! This is from Urban Outfitters! That's where I get all my fresh gear, too.
Okay, uh, settle down.
Um, maybe there's someway that I can help resolve this.
Ha! Okay, we're not gonna take band advice from someone related to a talentless one-hit-wonder loser.
What are what are you doing? There, now your shirts are different.
So quit being children and play! Asher, your delts look really strong.
Have you been working out? Oh, um, and my dad's album sold 20 million copies worldwide.
How many have you sold? Hey! So the backdrop is red velvet.
It might be a little sweaty but I can probably work something out.
Oh, you cut your sleeves off.
That looks sa-nazay.
Really? Val, unpack the van.
We're gonna play.
Cool, all right, um do you guys wanna help me grab some gear, though? My sciatica has really been acting up.
No.
No.
Okay, I'll just get it all myself, guys.
The pain is just it's blinding sometimes.
You're right in here.
Oh this is nice.
Backwash me, Walt! Aw, hell's fire, man! Do I gotta do everything around here myself? I don't know, do dressing rooms usually come with mops and buckets? What the hell you talkin' bout, son? We got all this cool extra stuff that other people don't get.
Heck, man, I'll never have to buy another light bulb for the rest of my life! We inventory the entire room, so don't take anything! Ah, I wouldn't think of it.
Oh, I'll come back and get you and your assistant in a bit.
- Look, I'm not his assistant - Okay, that'd be great, man.
Thanks a bunch.
And don't forget what they told you in rehearsal about crossing the line.
- Hey, Tom? - TOM (ON RADIO): What's your 20? Can you come down here in the golf cart and get me? No, I'm way past that janitor's closet I'm in the smaller janitor's closet.
Well, at least the Backstage Backwash is free! Speaking of, how's that refill coming? Look, I don't want to be out of line here as your "assistant" and all, but I think it's safe to say you don't need another.
Oh, you still upset over that little mix up? You've been treating me like a second-class citizen all day.
And the only reason why I put up with it is so you don't get embarrassed in front of these people who clearly don't give a crap about you in the first place! Sounds to me like somebody's a little jealous.
You know what, you just don't understand how the music business works.
I'm not jealous, Vernon, I'm just sick of it.
And I thought we were friends, but it's clear to me you don't need friends.
Well, I'll tell you what, all of a sudden you feeling awful ungrateful, son.
Maybe you need to remember who got your ass out of jail and who brought you here in the first place.
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER) It's show time.
You good? Yeah, I'm good, I've never been better.
Okay, essential personnel only.
Is he with you? Nope.
Okay, let's go.
Ah, almost forgot my Backstage Backwash.
All right! Yeah! Where's my family? Where's my family? Nice job! Gather round! All right, grab hands, everybody, grab hands.
Thank you for letting us be here today and for all these good people coming out, paying to see us.
Let's give all the glory to me! Let's go have a good show, everybody, all right.
Get up there, get up there! Where's my where's my pre-show relaxer? Where's my baby panda? Oh, there he is! Look at baby panda! That's the good stuff! My little good luck charm.
That's a real live baby panda, everybody! Whoo! Don't freeze up on me out there, I know it's been a long time.
Hey, don't ever underestimate me, son.
I'm like the Phoenix.
The mythological bird? No, the city hot, dirty, and old women love me.
That's funny.
Hey, just remember one thing they ain't here to see you.
(MUSIC PLAYING) Got it, thanks, Ted.
All right, you guys are on! Okay, back-up band members, I need you guys to go on first.
Remember I'm the dessert of this band so we're saving the best for last.
And speaking of dessert, after the gig, Froyo, my treat! No.
Mabel, come here, I need to close-sing into your face.
Um, do I look slightly less crazy than he does? Only slightly.
Um, I guess this is where someone would usually say break a leg.
So, break a leg and don't screw this up because I have a lot riding on this article.
I'll try my best.
[M.
C.
.]
Please, welcome to the stage Party Break! Oops.
I guess Asher won't be last onstage after all.
Tell him sorry for me.
Hey, your dad's not here yet, is he? No, I haven't seen him, I You should, um - Play the show, yup.
- Mm-hm.
[ASHER.]
We're Party Break! (MUSIC CHANGES) Yeah! Whoo! Yeah! All right! Thank you! Thank you, everybody! This next gentleman I'm about to bring out may have been long forgotten.
In fact, some of you, like me, probably thought he was dead.
I used to open for this dude back in the day but thanks to your love and support I don't have to any more and I can return the favor.
Put your hands together for Burnin' Vernon Brown! You're in my house now, so you better be a good boy.
I left Oklahoma drivin' in a Pontiac Just about to lose my mind I was goin' to Arizona Maybe on to California Where the people all live so fine Be good.
My baby said I'z crazy Mama called me lazy I was gonna show 'em all this time Watch that line, man.
And you know I ain't no fool And I don't need no more schoolin' I was born to just walk the line Oh, nah-ah, hell no! - Livin' on Tulsa time - Get back there.
Living on Tulsa time Well you'll know I - You ever been hit - What's wrong with you, man? - By a real, damn train? - What's wrong with you? Livin' on Tulsa time - Yeah! Whoo! - Aw, no! What's up with you, man? This is supposed to be a duet! - Okay, let's wrap! That's it! - Tulsa time Come on, everybody sing! Livin' on Tulsa time All right, all right.
Want to set my watch back to it 'Cause you know I've been through it - Livin' on Tulsa time - Thank you, Vernon.
Thank you.
I think we kept the old-timer up past his bedtime.
Sorry about that, folks.
I think the old boy's lost his mind, forgot where he is.
Livin' on Tulsa time Livin' on Tulsa time You gotta be Wanna send my watch back to ya' Hillbilly mother[BLEEP.]
! Hey, come on, guys, take it easy, man! What the hell! Walt! Hey, little help here! I'm with him! Oh! Looks like you're a little busy! Oh! Hope you're having fun! Not! I'm having the time of my life! I'm back! I'm back, man! I'm back! Thanks a lot, friend! (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) Come on! Come on, mother[BLEEP.]
! Come on, mother[BLEEP.]
! Hey! (ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES) Feel it in my head Start to slip away Talkin' in my face but I don't hear a thing Oh, hey, you made it! I had to check out the band you keep raving about.
I gotta hand it to you, these dudes rock.
Right? Ringing in my ears Charlotte, this is my girlfriend, Frankie.
Her band played KickJam last night.
Oh, cool, nice to meet you! Hey, who did you bring as your plus-one? Oh, uh, uh he should be here any second.
Ticket? I'm wif' Charg-lotte.
What? I'm wif' Chargh Purrdy-barh.
Sir, you can't get in here without a ticket.
Oh that some kind of hanker ball? Never mind I'm drunk.
Purrdy-barh.
Yeah! Woo-hoo! Yeah! The next song is really, really good and not just because my boyfriend wrote it.
But wh um Well, he's not actually my boyfriend, but Is he the drummer? Yeah, how'd you know? Frankie's a drummer.
They're always the hottest.
But also because he keeps waving at you.
This next song is a new one we've been working on.
It goes out to a super, cool chick who's the only reason we're standing up here tonight.
Thanks for the T-shirt, Charlotte.
Here they come it's the boys from the end of the block Are you Charlotte? Oh, wow, this is embarrassing.
Um, I am, but I don't think the song's about me.
At least, hope not, because the song's called Turn it Up.
Um, okay, some guy named Vernon is here saying he's with you.
Do you know him? Oh yeah, he's cool.
That's my dad, uh, where is he? I'm wif' Chargh Chargh Oh, my god! Please, no! Chargh! My bad! Charlotte! Dallas, wait! (CROWD BOOS) Chargh [BLEEP.]
10-4, thanks, Mabel.
Someone named Charlotte says you're an ass[BLEEP.]
and that you're dead to her.
What's this? Oh, my daughter wrote it.
It's local bands she's listening to, stuff like that.
It's good, too.
I'm gonna check it out.
- Are you Charlotte? - Yes, I am.
I'm Allison, I work at Nashville Scene.
Oh.
Who are you listening to right now? Right now, Party Break are my current favorite.
Thank you, we're Party Break, goodnight! You better shut your mouth.
Or what? Yo, get screwed, Asher.
No! You get screwed, Dallas! I've gotta say, this is pretty cool.
Thanks, everybody! Thank you very much! Put your hands together for my old buddy, Burnin' Vernon! Go! Are you serious? So now what's this "Toe Jam" thing? I mean, the name sounds kind of unappealing to be honest with you.
Uh, no, it's called KickJam, it's this indie music fest.
They have a lot of local bands and a few big headliners.
Yeah, man, I can't keep up with all these new bands, man.
One Protection.
Feta Wrap.
Curly Rae Jepsen.
I'm lost.
Literally none of those are actual band names.
That's how I feel about it, too! What ever happened to Deep Purple? Lynyrd Skynyrd? Those are band names! Dude, Allison was so nice, she said she loved my zine and that I have a "unique voice".
Now that's the lady from the paper, right? Yeah, I want a job like hers when I graduate.
Man, I've not seen you this excited.
I'd be lying, if I said I wasn't proud of you.
Hey, you know, Allison's gonna give me an extra pass.
You wanna come with? Are you serious? I figure I owe you, since you took me to Trayne Crostown.
Hell, yeah! That sounds like fun! I mean, whatever it's cool.
Cool.
It's this Saturday.
But I have to be there early, so you might want to meet me there.
But don't worry, they'll be better seats than Crostown.
- Hah-hah! All right, you ready? - Yup.
Now, hands at the one and the three.
And punch it! Woo-hoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! All right, yeah! That's my girl! (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) Hi.
Hope I didn't keep you waiting for too long.
I had to handle a minor crisis.
No worries.
Is everything cool? Oh, yeah.
We're doing a spread on this band Maxie Dean and the lead singer keeps pestering us to airbrush him in more of a thigh gap.
So, if he doesn't cool out, I'm probably just gonna air brush him out all together.
So here are your credentials.
Sweet, thanks.
And I spoke to my bosses, and if the article's really good you'd be a shoe-in for our summer internship program.
Would you be down? Yeah, so down! Are you kidding me? I really need you to knock this one out of the park for me, kiddo, all right? 'Cause I talked you up to them.
But, you're still allowed to have fun 'cause this is gonna be a kick-ass music festival, right? Okay, bye.
Bye! Thank you for the passes! Man, can you believe Charlotte invited me to go with her? I'm like trying to play it all cool and everything like, "whatever.
" I'm not sure you're supposed to "play it cool" if you're someone's dad.
Good point.
(CAR HORN HONKS) [VERNON.]
What the hell, who's that driving up? Look, he's in a limo.
What the hell? [VERNON.]
Hey, Crazy Dave! What are you doin', man? You going to a funeral, or wedding, or what? You have been bequeathed the honor of performing with history's greatest entertainer, Trayne Crostown upon the eve of the morrow.
What the hell does all that mumbo-jumbo mean? Well, Trayne wants you to come back and sing with him again.
It seems like the crowd got all excited about that the other night.
They were calling for an encore! Encore performance? We'll be there! Well, that'll be okay, because it says artist plus one assistant.
Slow your scroll, Crazy Dave.
I'm nobody's assistant.
Assistant, sidekick, wingman, whatever floats your boat.
Hey, listen, I gotta go.
I gotta get back to the tux shop.
I think this one's got bed bug issues.
Hey! How'd you know where I was at, anyway? Trayne's got eyes everywhere.
Heck, if you work for him for five years they give you one of these bad boys.
Installation didn't hurt a bit once the pain medication kicked in.
That Trayne, what a great man.
He's a real humanitarian.
- (CAR ENGINE STARTS) - Whoo! Man, can you believe it? I'm back! Whoo! Hey! Aren't you supposed to be at Charlotte's KickJam thing "on the eve of the morrow"? Oh, man, that's not gonna be no problem, man.
The Crostown duet, that'll happen early and then I'll just head on down to Charlotte's gig.
Plus, I'll have my responsible, mature friend, Walt, with me.
You know, I think changing the sign over is my favorite of all the chores.
You boys are gonna make that a little more appropriate, right? Yes, sir.
How does he know? (COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING) I gotta hand it to you, it's pretty cool that Trayne asked you to come back.
Hey, do you think he'd remember my dad? Of course, he will, man.
Everyone loved your pops.
Might want to take it easy on the booze.
I mean, you gotta perform later and then you gotta go meet Charlotte.
Walt, this isn't amateur hour, man.
You're gonna hang with the rock stars you gotta party like a rock star.
Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.
Okay.
- No way.
- Holy crap.
Burnin' Vernon Brown! Hey, man, thanks for having me Towel boy! Whoo! It means a lot that you got Special water! Ah Backwash! No Backwash? Somebody's not partying.
Oh, yeah, I'm still partying, uh, Walt? Oh on the way, hoss.
Come on, let's do this, huh? - Let's do it! - Hit it, man! - (MUSIC PLAYING) - Oh! You got it, man.
Well now I left Oklahoma drivin' in a Pontiac Just about to lose my mind I was goin' to Arizona Maybe on to California Where the people there live so fine hey My baby said I'z crazy Mama called me lazy - (MUSIC STOPS) - I'z gon You crossed the line! Is that a good or bad thing? It's the equivalent of going over the Military Demarcation Line that separates North and South Korea.
Holy Cow, man! So is that a good or bad thing? I still don't understand.
Look, Trayne is the only one allowed to cross the line while performing onstage.
No one is allowed to upstage Trayne.
Well, I guess I just got caught up in the moment.
Won't happen again.
Take me to the chorus! (MUSIC PLAYING) Living on Tulsa time Living on Tulsa time Gonna set my watch right to it 'Cause it'll help me through it Living on Tulsa time yeah Livin' on Tulsa time That sounds good, man.
That sounds good.
- (MUSIC STOPS) - Hey you've done this before? Yeah, sure.
Whoo! Here's your Backstage Backwash drink.
Hey, cheers, man, cheers to me, cheers to me and my show.
Mm-hm.
Hey, man, can you introduce me to Trayne now? I just want to ask about my dad and stuff, you know.
Hey, Walt, help me out with a little extra Backwash there.
- Really? - Yeah, quickly.
I'd be happy to.
Hey, Walt! Before you go put a little extra kick in this one? Make it a double.
Hah-hah-hah! That's my boy! That's my boy right there! That's my boy! Okay, guys! Who's ready to rock? Is this some kind of pre-show meditation thing? Oh boy, um, so just to be clear you guys don't want to go on because you're wearing matching shirts? I offered to wear the same shirt so that we could all match.
Shut up, Val! Okay well, obviously one of you is gonna have to change.
There's no way I'm gonna change okay? It's the front man's job to really standout you know, to be the face of the band.
If anything, you two should probably just match the backdrop.
Mabel! Can we find out what color the backdrop is? And get these guys some shirts to match? Looking into it now! What the hell, dude? I'm not changing.
Hey, Dallas, look I'm really glad you're standing your ground but tonight's your shot to play the new song you wrote and you already have the attention of the Nashville Scene, I I'm sorry, Charlotte, okay? I know you have an article to write, but I gotta make a stand sometime, okay? He's getting out of control.
If anyone is gonna change, it's going to be him.
He doesn't even know who The Melvins are! This is from Urban Outfitters! That's where I get all my fresh gear, too.
Okay, uh, settle down.
Um, maybe there's someway that I can help resolve this.
Ha! Okay, we're not gonna take band advice from someone related to a talentless one-hit-wonder loser.
What are what are you doing? There, now your shirts are different.
So quit being children and play! Asher, your delts look really strong.
Have you been working out? Oh, um, and my dad's album sold 20 million copies worldwide.
How many have you sold? Hey! So the backdrop is red velvet.
It might be a little sweaty but I can probably work something out.
Oh, you cut your sleeves off.
That looks sa-nazay.
Really? Val, unpack the van.
We're gonna play.
Cool, all right, um do you guys wanna help me grab some gear, though? My sciatica has really been acting up.
No.
No.
Okay, I'll just get it all myself, guys.
The pain is just it's blinding sometimes.
You're right in here.
Oh this is nice.
Backwash me, Walt! Aw, hell's fire, man! Do I gotta do everything around here myself? I don't know, do dressing rooms usually come with mops and buckets? What the hell you talkin' bout, son? We got all this cool extra stuff that other people don't get.
Heck, man, I'll never have to buy another light bulb for the rest of my life! We inventory the entire room, so don't take anything! Ah, I wouldn't think of it.
Oh, I'll come back and get you and your assistant in a bit.
- Look, I'm not his assistant - Okay, that'd be great, man.
Thanks a bunch.
And don't forget what they told you in rehearsal about crossing the line.
- Hey, Tom? - TOM (ON RADIO): What's your 20? Can you come down here in the golf cart and get me? No, I'm way past that janitor's closet I'm in the smaller janitor's closet.
Well, at least the Backstage Backwash is free! Speaking of, how's that refill coming? Look, I don't want to be out of line here as your "assistant" and all, but I think it's safe to say you don't need another.
Oh, you still upset over that little mix up? You've been treating me like a second-class citizen all day.
And the only reason why I put up with it is so you don't get embarrassed in front of these people who clearly don't give a crap about you in the first place! Sounds to me like somebody's a little jealous.
You know what, you just don't understand how the music business works.
I'm not jealous, Vernon, I'm just sick of it.
And I thought we were friends, but it's clear to me you don't need friends.
Well, I'll tell you what, all of a sudden you feeling awful ungrateful, son.
Maybe you need to remember who got your ass out of jail and who brought you here in the first place.
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER) It's show time.
You good? Yeah, I'm good, I've never been better.
Okay, essential personnel only.
Is he with you? Nope.
Okay, let's go.
Ah, almost forgot my Backstage Backwash.
All right! Yeah! Where's my family? Where's my family? Nice job! Gather round! All right, grab hands, everybody, grab hands.
Thank you for letting us be here today and for all these good people coming out, paying to see us.
Let's give all the glory to me! Let's go have a good show, everybody, all right.
Get up there, get up there! Where's my where's my pre-show relaxer? Where's my baby panda? Oh, there he is! Look at baby panda! That's the good stuff! My little good luck charm.
That's a real live baby panda, everybody! Whoo! Don't freeze up on me out there, I know it's been a long time.
Hey, don't ever underestimate me, son.
I'm like the Phoenix.
The mythological bird? No, the city hot, dirty, and old women love me.
That's funny.
Hey, just remember one thing they ain't here to see you.
(MUSIC PLAYING) Got it, thanks, Ted.
All right, you guys are on! Okay, back-up band members, I need you guys to go on first.
Remember I'm the dessert of this band so we're saving the best for last.
And speaking of dessert, after the gig, Froyo, my treat! No.
Mabel, come here, I need to close-sing into your face.
Um, do I look slightly less crazy than he does? Only slightly.
Um, I guess this is where someone would usually say break a leg.
So, break a leg and don't screw this up because I have a lot riding on this article.
I'll try my best.
[M.
C.
.]
Please, welcome to the stage Party Break! Oops.
I guess Asher won't be last onstage after all.
Tell him sorry for me.
Hey, your dad's not here yet, is he? No, I haven't seen him, I You should, um - Play the show, yup.
- Mm-hm.
[ASHER.]
We're Party Break! (MUSIC CHANGES) Yeah! Whoo! Yeah! All right! Thank you! Thank you, everybody! This next gentleman I'm about to bring out may have been long forgotten.
In fact, some of you, like me, probably thought he was dead.
I used to open for this dude back in the day but thanks to your love and support I don't have to any more and I can return the favor.
Put your hands together for Burnin' Vernon Brown! You're in my house now, so you better be a good boy.
I left Oklahoma drivin' in a Pontiac Just about to lose my mind I was goin' to Arizona Maybe on to California Where the people all live so fine Be good.
My baby said I'z crazy Mama called me lazy I was gonna show 'em all this time Watch that line, man.
And you know I ain't no fool And I don't need no more schoolin' I was born to just walk the line Oh, nah-ah, hell no! - Livin' on Tulsa time - Get back there.
Living on Tulsa time Well you'll know I - You ever been hit - What's wrong with you, man? - By a real, damn train? - What's wrong with you? Livin' on Tulsa time - Yeah! Whoo! - Aw, no! What's up with you, man? This is supposed to be a duet! - Okay, let's wrap! That's it! - Tulsa time Come on, everybody sing! Livin' on Tulsa time All right, all right.
Want to set my watch back to it 'Cause you know I've been through it - Livin' on Tulsa time - Thank you, Vernon.
Thank you.
I think we kept the old-timer up past his bedtime.
Sorry about that, folks.
I think the old boy's lost his mind, forgot where he is.
Livin' on Tulsa time Livin' on Tulsa time You gotta be Wanna send my watch back to ya' Hillbilly mother[BLEEP.]
! Hey, come on, guys, take it easy, man! What the hell! Walt! Hey, little help here! I'm with him! Oh! Looks like you're a little busy! Oh! Hope you're having fun! Not! I'm having the time of my life! I'm back! I'm back, man! I'm back! Thanks a lot, friend! (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) Come on! Come on, mother[BLEEP.]
! Come on, mother[BLEEP.]
! Hey! (ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES) Feel it in my head Start to slip away Talkin' in my face but I don't hear a thing Oh, hey, you made it! I had to check out the band you keep raving about.
I gotta hand it to you, these dudes rock.
Right? Ringing in my ears Charlotte, this is my girlfriend, Frankie.
Her band played KickJam last night.
Oh, cool, nice to meet you! Hey, who did you bring as your plus-one? Oh, uh, uh he should be here any second.
Ticket? I'm wif' Charg-lotte.
What? I'm wif' Chargh Purrdy-barh.
Sir, you can't get in here without a ticket.
Oh that some kind of hanker ball? Never mind I'm drunk.
Purrdy-barh.
Yeah! Woo-hoo! Yeah! The next song is really, really good and not just because my boyfriend wrote it.
But wh um Well, he's not actually my boyfriend, but Is he the drummer? Yeah, how'd you know? Frankie's a drummer.
They're always the hottest.
But also because he keeps waving at you.
This next song is a new one we've been working on.
It goes out to a super, cool chick who's the only reason we're standing up here tonight.
Thanks for the T-shirt, Charlotte.
Here they come it's the boys from the end of the block Are you Charlotte? Oh, wow, this is embarrassing.
Um, I am, but I don't think the song's about me.
At least, hope not, because the song's called Turn it Up.
Um, okay, some guy named Vernon is here saying he's with you.
Do you know him? Oh yeah, he's cool.
That's my dad, uh, where is he? I'm wif' Chargh Chargh Oh, my god! Please, no! Chargh! My bad! Charlotte! Dallas, wait! (CROWD BOOS) Chargh [BLEEP.]
10-4, thanks, Mabel.
Someone named Charlotte says you're an ass[BLEEP.]
and that you're dead to her.