That's So Raven (2003) s01e11 Episode Script

1 Okay, she's almost here.
Which ones, these or these? Rae, you always freak out every time your cousin Andrea comes in from Europe.
Girl, I am fine.
I just need to know what hat says, you know "Thanks for coming, but you need to go back to Paris.
" Rae, she's only going to be here for a little while.
Okay, I understand that, but does this belt say "Just because we're relatives doesn't mean I have to like you?" Okay, where's Andrea? Is my little French pastry here yet? No.
Why do you like her so much? She is such a snob.
Because she's not like the other girls around here, Rae.
I mean, she's lived in Rome, London, Paris and she's turned me down in four different languages.
"Nein," "nyet," "non" and the ever-popular "ain't gonna happen.
" You know what? She is phony.
I can't stand that about her.
Look who's here.
Oh, Ravey! Oh, Andrea, my girl! What is going on? Smooches.
And listen, it's "An-drea" now.
I changed it when we moved to "Pa-ree.
" We live right near the Eiffel Tower.
That's the tall, pointy thing you might've seen in magazines.
Ooh, girl, how I will miss that sense of humor when you go back.
When is that exactly? In a week, but until then we're going to have a nice family visit unlike the last time when the gum was put in the hair.
After the doll was put in the toilet.
She started it.
She started it.
So, um, Andrea Andrea, you remember Eddie and Chelsea? So, Chelsea Corey tells me you two are dating.
What? We got to share our love, baby.
Share it.
Well, I'm going to go freshen up now.
You know how tiring those long international flights can be.
Oh, right.
You don't.
See you, Ravey.
Oh bye, girl.
See you soon.
"Oh, see you, Ravey.
" "Pa-ree.
" Oh, she gets on my nerves.
Everything is so perfect with her.
Perfect life, perfect hair, perfect shoes.
And then she comes into my life interrupts everything, and, you know kisses Eddie? Yep, that's me.
You actually had a vision of Eddie kissing Andrea? Really? Don't you toy with me, woman.
Eddie, how could you kiss her? I mean, you know how I feel about her.
I didn't do anything.
Yeah, but you're going to.
Not if you don't want me to, Rammie.
Come on, you know that we're friends.
You know, if you want her out of your life this kiss might not be such a bad thing 'cause if she's busy with Eddie all week she won't be around to bug you.
What kind of friend would I be if I did that to Eddie? A good friend.
A best friend.
So when do I kiss her? I don't know when, but I know you guys were standing here.
Over there? Right there.
Right here? Right there.
Right here? Eddie, right there.
What you doing with your face? Oh, this is my kissing face.
Watch up, now.
That explains so much.
Sure does.
Really Here I am, all.
Miss me? I know I did.
Well, um, you know, Andrea our-our friend Eddie here-- he made the basketball team this year.
Oh, you know, he's also such a good rapper.
Oh, my goodness, look! These marks are still here, Ravey.
Remember when your dad used to measure us? You'd get so angry that I was always just a little bit taller than you.
I don't remember that.
So So, isn't your dad a colonel in the Army? Yes, and we get to travel all over the world and meet lots of fascinating people, but once a year I take a break from all that excitement and visit Raven.
Well, actually, since you moved to Paris it's Rah-ven.
You're saying Cousin Andrea can sleep in my room? You did not tell me I had to sleep on the couch.
Oh, come on, Corey.
Think of it as an adventure.
It'll be fun.
Down here all by yourself.
But whatever you do, don't open the coat closet 'cause you never know what might be hiding in there.
What is hiding in there? No way No way.
Corey! It was a joke.
"Don't open the coat closet"? It was a joke.
Okay, now, when Andrea comes downstairs I'm going to say that I can't do anything after school because I'm busy.
That is where you come in.
Then I kiss her? No, Eddie.
Then you ask her to do something after school.
Right, right.
Then I kiss her? No, Eddie.
Then you take her out, get to know her make her laugh.
Then you kiss her.
Yeah.
Bonjour, mes amis.
Oh, hi.
I just dropped by to see if Raven wanted to walk to school.
Oh, Eddie.
I would love to, but if you're thinking about doing anything after school I can't 'cause you know I'm busy.
Oh, please.
You don't have to tell me about busy.
I'm head of the Honor Society and still have time to edit the yearbook.
Very interesting.
Uh, well, you know I barely have time to read the yearbook because, you know I'm head of the volleyball team and head of, you know, the Cheerleaders Society.
Cheerleaders Society? Yes.
It's new.
We, you know We-we do We cheerlead for the elderly.
It raises their spirits.
We go, like, uh, uh Go old people! Don't mess with me.
You know, Ravey, since you're so busy later maybe I'll just go to school with you right now.
So, there I was just walking down the Champs Elysées.
when this photographer-- he walks up to me, and he says "Aren't you Tyra Banks?" All right.
Yeah, man.
Oh, man.
Look at her.
She been like that all day.
And everybody thinks she's so cool 'cause, you know, she eats in Europe, shops in Europe goes to school in Europe, drinks in Europe Okay, we got it, Rae.
Europe thing-- not good.
This has been the worst day I've ever had.
I'm having the best day ever.
Girl, me, too.
Hey, Ravey, why don't you introduce me to your cheerleading squad? You're the Captain.
Well, let's go meet us some girls.
Come on.
Hey, Squad.
What's going on? I made up a new cheer.
Okay, diamond position, girls.
Two, four, six, eight.
That is the way we like to Count.
All right, Angie, work on that.
April, you need some help.
Okay.
So, um, where's Eddie? Because, you know after school I got a million other things to do.
Oh, bonjour, guys.
How's it going? Bonjour.
Oh, American boys are so cute.
If only I didn't have Jean Paul waiting for me back in Paris.
Oh, he misses me so much.
You know how boyfriends are, Ravey? Oh, um, I'm sorry, you don't.
Well, actually, I do know how boyfriends are.
Yeah, she does.
Y- ye Y- yeah, 'cause I have one.
Yeah, she does.
He makes your Jean Paul look like French toast.
French toast! 'Cause he is charming, cute, and there for me.
And he is Eddie.
Eddie? Bon Jovi, y'all.
Oh, boyfriend, you say the cutest things.
Come on, Boo.
Who's Boo? Boo you.
Okay, okay, I know I shouldn't have said we were going out but she made me so mad.
Can't you just be my boyfriend for one week? What's the big deal? Because in a week, Andrea will be gone.
You had a vision.
Now, I had that same vision.
I want that kiss.
You promised me that kiss.
Okay, Eddie, I just can't back down now.
She will never let me live it down.
But I'm a man.
I have feelings.
I need to be held, Rae.
Okay, Eddie, don't make me come over there, and give you the biggest hug my Eddie Bear has ever had! What?! She's there, isn't she? Oh, I miss you too, Pookie.
Okay, now, Rae, that's it.
I'm drawing the line at "Pookie.
" Um, do you think Eddie would want to come over for dinner tomorrow night? I'd love to, I'd love to I'd love to, I'd love to! You know, he says he's kind of busy.
Let me talk to him.
Eddie? Eddie, it's Andrea.
Listen, I insist you join us for dinner to I'd love to! Well, well, seems he just can't say no to me.
And as a special treat I'll cook dinner.
Oh, that won't be necessary because I'm an excellent cook and no one cooks for my man but me.
Good night.
Sofa bed? As long as you don't open the coat closet.
That was a joke.
I woke up, and you weren't there! Please let this be a dream.
Climb in.
Snuggle up to your father.
My little angel, sleep, sleep tight And in your sweet dreams through the night Just snuggle close, dear, I hope this never ends Dream, dream sweet dreams, my little angel First you tell me Andrea's going to kiss me then you make me your boyfriend so I can't kiss her.
I mean, this is one big psychic rip-off.
You think it's easy being your girl? Okay, you don't take me anywhere you don't buy me anything.
It's not like I got ice all right? I sweat over a hot stove and all you do is nag, nag, nag.
Okay, Rae, this is really starting to get a little weird.
So, what's for dinner, sweetheart? Stuffed crab Imperial.
Chelsea's down at the Sea Lion restaurant picking it up now.
So, what's all this boiling water for? Well, you know, I got to create the illusion that I'm cooking, you know.
That water needs a dash more salt.
Bam! Ooh, Chelsea, so how did everything go at the restaurant? Well, actu Ravey, how's everything going? Ah-ah-ah! No peeking.
I think we all need to go into the dining room and get settled, so, come on.
All right, boyfriend, tell me you love me.
No.
Well, then, say I look pretty.
No.
Say something nice.
Your cousin looks hot tonight.
Let me get that for you.
Oh, you are so thoughtful.
Thank you, Edward.
Oh, you're very welcome.
Hey, is dinner ready? Oh, just about.
Are you two feeling better? Not much.
That sofa bed really messed up our necks.
I don't know why, 'cause I slept like a baby.
We know.
We know.
Thank you so much, Chelsea.
Oh, my goodness, this looks so good-- rice almondine, fresh vegetables Okay, where's the crab Imperial? In the box.
Chelse It's still kicking.
I know, I know, Rae, b- but look that awful restaurant, they wanted to kill them and I saved them.
Look, look, look, I saved Fred and Ethel and Little Ricky.
Uh, you know what, Chelse? It's okay, 'cause I understand that you love the animals and I'm all for it, girl.
I respect that.
Rae? Huh? What you doing? I'm just showing it around the kitchen, really.
Hey, Freddie, this is the kitchen here's the refrigerator, and here's the hot pot of boiling water! Raven, you can't! I have to.
I have a snobby cousin in there I have to impress.
Sorry, crabby.
Give it to me, Rae, give it to me! No, no, no! Everything okay in there? Fine! I cannot believe that this crab is attached to our head.
Ah! Rae, Rae, r-remember he's more scared of us than we are of him.
Hey, we're getting hungry out here.
Uh, we're coming! What are we going to do?! There's scissors over there.
Wait-wait, ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! Okay, we'll cut your hair.
We'll cut your hair, Rae.
Huh?! I'm sorry?! Why can't we cut yours? All right, scissors-- bad idea.
Yeah.
Look who came to help me serve the salad.
Yes.
No one serves salad like I do.
Raven, do you need any help in the kitchen? Oh, no, everything's under control.
Yes.
All right, here's some salad Mr.
Baxter.
Okay, and here's some for Mrs.
Baxter.
And here's some for Corey! She always gets a little emotional when she says my name.
Here's some for Eddie.
There you go, Eddie.
Oh, sorry about that.
All right, and your main dish will be up, okay? What are we having, anyway? Girl, we are having crab.
Really, really fresh crab.
And your salad servers will be leaving now.
Buh-bye, buh-bye, buh-bye.
See ya.
See ya.
Raven is so lucky to have a guy like you.
She is? Almost.
Okay, I think I've got it, Rae.
Just hold on.
One, two Oh, I'm free.
Oh, I'm so happy for you.
Can you help me? Hey, Rae, I think your cousin's coming on to me.
And you got a crab in your hair.
I know.
How do you like it? Eddie, Andrea cannot see Rae like this.
Go watch the door.
You know what? That's just like Andrea.
As soon as she finds out that you're my boyfriend she's all over you.
Yo, Andrea's coming.
Oh, I can't let her see me like this.
Here, take it, take it.
Are you sure there's nothing I can do? Uh, no.
I'll help cook the crab.
No, really, no, please! You're the guest, really.
Please, you're the guest.
No, I want to.
Please, you're the guest.
Where is Raven?! Upstairs.
You know, she and Eddie had this huge fight and they broke up.
What is taking so long? Are those restaurant containers? It sounds like Eddie and Raven broke up.
What? What? Eddie and Raven aren't going out because if they were, Eddie would have told us.
Isn't that right, son? Uh, Rae, a little help here.
Hey, everybody.
Y'all enjoy your salads? What is going on? Okay.
Eddie and I aren't dating.
Okay, it was all a joke, just like this dinner.
All to impress her.
So, here.
Eddie, you want her? You can have her.
I got to go see if Rae is okay.
No.
This is between my cousin and me.
I think we need to talk.
Why is that? Are you here to brag about something else to make me feel even worse about my life? Oh, no, here, I'll save you the trouble, okay? I lied.
I'm not head of the volleyball squad I'm not head cheerleader, and I can't cook.
So, congratulations.
You win.
Your life is better than mine.
Rae.
Hold on.
You actually think my life is better than yours? You sure make it seem that way.
Well, it's not.
I live in a different country every year.
I change homes.
I have to make new friends.
Believe me, Rae, you don't know how lucky you are.
But I don't shop in Rome, okay? And I don't live in Paris.
Oh, I'd trade all that for this.
Look, you were standing right here when you were two and four and seven and nine.
I don't have that.
I don't have a real home like you do.
Oh, and you'll really love this one.
I don't have a boyfriend, either.
I made him up to impress you because I thought you had the better life.
So, I don't win.
You do.
You mean we wasted 14 years of trying to impress each other when we could have been friends? Want to start over again? Sure.
You know that, uh, red bag you had on the other day? Can I borrow it? Only if you tell me where you got those shoes.
Girl, yeah, it was on sale.
All right! I'm sorry.
You remember that pony I had? Yeah? Made it up.
Well, remember my soccer trophy? Garage sale.
$2.
50.
Oh, I'm glad to see you guys worked everything on out.
So are we.
Yeah, well I'm going to leave.
Thanks for dinner.
I got to go home and eat.
Eddie, wait.
I love this spot!