The Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan (1972) s01e11 Episode Script

1
[whistling]
- [whistling]
- [man scatting]
[whistling]
The Amazing Chan
[man scatting]
[buzzer sounding]
[buzzer sounding]
[buzzer sounding]
[buzzer sounding]
That's the Chan plan
[whistling]
[whistling]
[whistling]
The Amazing Chan
and the Chan Clan
The Amazing Chan
- [ship horn blaring]
- [music plays]
You were such a mystery
to me
You play the game
of kiss and run away
Pretending I was just
another guy
But honey
kisses don't lie
Oh, baby quit stalling
'Cause girl, I know
you're falling
There's something
I forgot to say
I got the goods on you
I got the goods on you
I find you out
Know what you're all about
I got the goods on you
Hey
I got the goods on you
I got the goods on you
I find you out
Know what you're all about
I got the goods on you
You had me guessing
for a while
You toyed with me
just like a cat does a mouse
Didn't believe
that you loved me
But then I found
your diary
Just think of it, Chan.
These ruins are over
3,000 years old.
Wow! That's older
than Grandpa!
It's the archeological find
of the century.
- You must be very proud.
- Oh, I am indeed.
Let me show you
the rest of the diggings.
This is the Temple of Ramesses,
one of the early pharaohs.
- Magnificent.
- Make a great motel,
wouldn't it, Henry?
Stanley, are you ever uncouth.
Me? I got as much "couth"
as anybody.
Instead of the usual wrappings,
Ramesses was bound in a cloth
made of gold.
Gold cloth! Wow,
would that make a neat outfit!
Can't you think
of anything but clothes?
His mask and sarcophagus
are also made of solid gold.
Which would lead to the
conclusion that this is an
extremely valuable mummy.
- How about his poppy?
- Will you cut that out!
Let me show you
this incredible treasure.
- Wow!
- Look at that!
- It's all gold!
- Fantastic!
- It's pretty!
- Most everything else here
is gold also!
The artifacts, the mosaic,
the
[man] Leave here, Englishman!
This place is not for you!
But Sheik Abdul, we have the
permission of your government
for this project.
Ah, what do they know
of the ways of the desert?
Our pharaohs do not wish
to be disturbed.
- Let them rest in peace.
- But Sheik Abdul
[Abdul] Silence, jackal!
You are helping to disturb
the sleep of our forebears.
I warn you, for the last time,
go home!
Or the curse of Ramesses
will befall you.
Wow. You get the feeling the
sheik doesn't want us around?
Would you be quiet for a change?
Just listen.
[man] Lord Redgrave,
I think he is right.
- It is best that we leave.
- Nonsense! Our work has only
just begun.
- But the Curse of Ramesses
- Hey!
- Turn on the lights!
- What's going on?
- Don't move!
- [man] Blasphemers.
Leave my resting place.
I am Ramesses, the pharaoh.
Leave, lest I place
my curse upon you.
[Redgrave] Stay where you are.
I'll turn on the
emergency lights.
- I hope it doesn't take long.
- [Redgrave] There, now.
- That's better.
- Pop, the mummy's gone!
Wham, bam, our mummy's
in a jam!
- [man] Then we must leave!
- [Redgrave] No!
Not without
finding Ramesses' mummy.
- But Your Lordship
- Don't tell me you really
believe that blather
- about a curse?
- Well, sir
Chan, this is terribly
important. Will you help us?
I won't promise anything,
Lord Redgrave,
but I will do my best.
I'll bet anything Kefir
is the one.
- You can't be sure, Flip.
- You kidding?
With those beady eyes,
he's the criminal type
for sure.
- I'm with the chief.
- Oh, you men always
stick together.
Sh! Here he comes.
He went into the temple.
Let's go!
[Henry] For once,
I agree with you, Stanley.
- The thief's gotta be Abdul.
- Sure. All that talk
about resting places
is just a cover-up.
He wants that gold.
Right. We find him,
we find the mummy.
Hey, this loose sand
is slowing us down.
Stanley, better hit the
Now what are you doing?
I'm disguised as a genie.
Abdul will never recognize
me now.
- I wish I didn't.
- You want three wishes?
- [laughs]
- Don't tempt me.
- And hit Chan Plan Ten.
- That's one wish.
You got two left.
- [buzzing]
- [Henry] OK.
Clam up and get lost.
- There goes Pendrick.
- I would like very much
to ascertain
how he projected the voice
of Ramesses.
- You think he faked that voice?
- Never mind that now.
We gotta move before
we lose him.
- [Redgrave]
Find something, Chan?
- Yes.
- What caused the blackout.
- Hm. Cut the wires.
Clever beggar, whoever he was.
Well, I'll soon
set things right.
That can be dangerous,
Lord Redgrave.
Oh, always been good at this
sort of thing, don't you know.
Flip, couldn't we wait
till daylight?
- That's a good idea.
- [Flip] It's a rotten idea.
Kefir could be making his
getaway with the mummy
right now.
[Scooter] Right.
Let's get him, chief.
[growling, moaning]
- [growling]
- [all shouting]
[growling]
[voice moaning]
[growling, moaning continue]
He's gone.
Let's get out of here.
Whee! That was fun!
Hey, let's do it again!
Stanley, this is not playtime.
We're trying to catch Sheik
Abdul before he gets rid
of that mummy.
Can't we have some fun
while we're looking?
We gotta decide
which way we go,
north or south.
Stanley
- Stanley!
- Root beer!
Strawberry malt! [coughs]
Chocolate sundae!
Will you cut that out!
- Let's go.
- Oh, boy!
It would appear our quarry
has evaded us.
- What do we do now?
- We split up and keep in touch
by Chan com. Scramble!
- Annie to team, report.
- Everything's all right
so far.
OK, but no sign of Pendrick.
I have here an amazing example
of extreme antiquity.
Knock it off, genius.
You see any sign of Pendrick?
Hm. Pendrick? Oh, yeah!
Pendrick! Not a sign.
Well, at least
we're in no trouble.
I think. Yikes!
Correction, we are in trouble!
Run!
- Flip, I'm scared.
- Me too.
- Can't we go home?
- Not till we nail Kefir.
- Right, Scooter?
- Right, chief.
There he goes!
Come on! Let's jump him!
Not yet! We gotta nab him
with the evidence. Come on.
- [whistles]
- I see him too, Chu Chu.
Good work! Let's go.
- He could be anyplace.
- I'm tired.
- [Chu Chu whimpers]
- Even Chu Chu is bored now.
- We can't give up now.
- He might be right around here!
- I can't go one more step.
- Me neither.
- Girls, this is no time to
- [creaking]
[all shout]
[chuckles]
Boy, this is a crazy beach.
But when do we get to the water?
- In about 1,000 miles.
- Wow, that's what I call
low tide.
[Henry] Stanley, look! An oasis!
Wrong again, Henry.
That's a mirage.
[Henry] Sure looks
like an oasis.
Henry, I saw Lawrence of Arabia
four times.
I ought to know
what a mirage looks like.
Head for it anyhow.
I wanna make sure.
Boy, some people
are sure stubborn.
OK, I'll prove it's a mirage.
Slow down, Stanley.
Stanley, will you?
What did I tell you?
It's Abdul's tent.
And he's got Ramesses.
[Abdul] The intruders will not
be driven out, beloved.
It is we who must move.
Before the sun rises,
we shall be gone.
Hear that? We gotta
get Ramesses back now
before it's too late.
Right.
Aw, come on, Henry.
Why can't I drive?
If you have to ask that,
you're dumber than I think.
I'll be careful this time.
Honest.
Well, OK.
Let's get going.
[Henry] Around the sand dune,
dumb-dumb! Not over!
[Henry] The brake, the brake!
Hit the brakes!
OK! Just hand
over that mummy?
Why, it's the Chan children.
Welcome to my humble abode.
- What may I do for you?
- Uh Uh
- Nothing.
- Yeah. We just drove, uh,
dropped in to say hi. [chuckles]
A gesture of a friend.
You must stay and
share our simple meal.
But may I suggest that
first you remove your vehicle?
It will give us more room.
[Flip] You know what
to do now, Chu Chu.
- [barks]
- OK, get ready.
Here he comes.
[Chu Chu whistles]
[babbling]
How would you like
to go for a spin?
[crashing]
I think we lost him.
Sh! What was that?
Sh! You hear anything?
[all shout]
- Hey!
- Wasn't that?
- Do you suppose?
- I'll bet that was
- I think I saw
- Could it be?
- Sh! Listen!
- [man] I can't, Kefir.
I've done everything you said.
- But it just won't work.
- [Kefir] You must try,
Effendi Pendrick.
The first step is the hardest.
And we have conquered that.
- It's Pendrick and Kefir.
- Of course, they're
in it together.
Let's take 'em, chief.
- Don't make a move.
- The place is surrounded.
- Where's the mummy?
- Mummy? What mummy?
[Flip] Don't give us that,
buster.
Yeah! Don't give
us that, buster.
- Where you got it stashed?
- Yeah, where you
got it stashed?
But little effendi,
we are only making a surprise
for Lord Redgrave.
Kefir is trying to teach me
the native tongue.
You can't imagine how pleased
His Lordship will be.
[Kefir] If there is anything
else I can do for you
Just one thing. How do you say
"dummy" in the native tongue?
- [Redgrave] Very interesting.
- Lord Redgrave.
Sorry, Chan,
I didn't mean to startle you.
But I must insist
you be more careful.
Surely you don't believe
in the pharaoh's curse.
Of course not. But you heard
Kefir, and Pendrick,
for that matter.
I'm afraid they do believe it.
- I wonder.
- In any event,
the natives might not like you
wandering about the place.
- Perhaps you are right.
- Did you discover anything
of interest in your search?
[Charlie] I am not certain yet,
but I may have.
- [Redgrave] Oh? Such as?
- Hey, Pop.
Ah, the voice
of my exuberant son.
- You can scratch Sheik Abdul
as a suspect.
- He's clean.
My thanks.
But for your information,
he was no longer a suspect
in my mind.
- He wasn't?
- Not for some time.
It's a dead end. There's gotta
be an exit someplace.
- [Alan] Hey, look at this.
- What is it?
[Alan] It appears to be a timer
connected to a tape recorder.
- And a microphone.
- What do you bet we found
Ramesses?
- Huh?
- Ramesses' voice.
Flip's right.
It's probably
on that tape recorder.
Hey! Look what I found!
It's a beautiful Egyptian doll!
A doll. Wouldn't you know it?
Stanley, would you get
my magnifying glass, please?
[Stanley yells]
- It's Stanley!
- Hi, Stanley.
All right,
who's the wise guy?
Stanley, you heard Pop.
How about?
Now where did he go? I'll get
the magnifying glass, Pop.
Never mind, Henry.
I don't think that will
be necessary after all.
- Will it, Lord Redgrave?
- I beg your pardon.
- What did you?
- [man on tape] Blasphemers!
Leave my resting place!
- I am Ramesses, the Pharaoh!
- [Redgrave] Where
did you get that?
- There's a room right
under this one.
- [Redgrave] Give it to me!
- I think not, Lord Redgrave.
- It doesn't belong to you.
[Charlie] Does it belong to you?
I think it does. I think we will
find your fingerprints on it.
And I think we will find
Ramesses' mummy
in that room below.
But why? Why did you do it?
To prevent it from being wasted
on fools
who wouldn't appreciate such
a rare discovery.
Who would soil it with their
grubby little hands.
That is not your decision
to make. Those are the people
who pay you
to make these diggings.
Ramesses belongs to them
even more than to you.
- That's telling him, Pop!
- Right on.
- Give it to him!
- Go, Pop!
- Even Chu Chu thinks so.
- [barking]
[all laugh]
[music plays]
You were such a mystery
to me
You play the game
of kiss and run away
Pretending I was just
another guy
But honey
kisses don't lie
Oh, baby quit stalling
'Cause girl, I know
you're falling
There's something
I forgot to say
I got the goods on you
I got the goods on you
I find you out
Know what you're all about
I got the goods on you
Hey
I got the goods on you
I got the goods on you
I find you out
Know what you're all about
I got the goods on you
You had me guessing
for a while
You toyed with me
just like a cat does a mouse
Didn't believe
that you loved me
But then I found
your diary
I read how much you love me
How much you're
thinking of me
So girl you might as well
give up
'Cause I got the goods on you
I got the goods on you
I find you out
Know what you're all about
I got the goods on you
Hey
I got the goods on you
I got the goods on you
I find you out
Know what you're all about
I got the goods on you
Hey, I got the goods on you
I got the goods on you
I find you out
Know what you're all about
I got the goods on you
Hey
I got the goods on you
I got the goods on you
I find you out
Know what you're all about
I got the goods on you
Hey
I got the goods on you
I got
Thanks to you, Mr. Chan,
they've put me in charge here.
Splendid, Mr. Pendrick.
I know you'll do a fine job.
- I'll certainly try, sir.
- Uh, just one thing,
Mr. Pendrick.
- Yes, sir?
- About the Curse
of King Tut's Tomb.
Oh, don't worry about that,
Mr. Chan.
I'm convinced now there
is no such thing as
[howling]
[yelling] Yow!
[barking, laughing]
Chu Chu, you naughty dog!
Stop that!
[all laughing]