The Barbarian and the Troll (2021) s01e11 Episode Script

- We've reached the Scorched
Tundra of Gothmoria,
which means
Alvin's lair is nearby.
- Ooh.
- Anyone else smell barbecue?
- It's me.
It's so hot.
- I wish I had a marshmallow
to roast.
- Ah, speak for yourself.
Whoa!
- Ahh! Ooh.
- Bet you're excited to get
your brother back,
huh, Brendar?
- Of course.
- Having a family is not
always joyful.
- Hey.
- I mean,
Evan, your dad swallowed
your lute out of spite
and your mom keeps trying
to press you into a panini.
- But they did it with such joy
in their hearts.
- It's great how your
cheeriness upstages reality.
- Agree to agree.
- Well, this has to be
Alvin's lair.
- You think?
- Ah! Ah!
- That's fire.
- Nuh-uh.
That's some dark demon magic.
Taste my blade!
- Ah.
- Ooh.
- Ding dong.
- A troll burned
his bridge ♪
A warrior lost her crown ♪
I'm not being poetic ♪
That's literally
what went down ♪
Together their journey
has begun ♪
Combining might and melody ♪
To quest and smite a demon ♪
And find their true family ♪
Yeah ♪
"The Barbarian
and the Troll" ♪
Ooh, ooh ♪
"The Barbarian
and the Troll" ♪
♪
- Axe, are you okay?
- Yeah.
Is the ground spinning
for the rest of you?
- Oh, great.
Now how do we get in?
- Well, maybe Alvin left a key
under one of these rocks.
- Dad, this is a demon's lair,
not an AirDnD.
- Wha--
-
- Hey there, little kitten.
What's your name?
- I am Enzo,
the keeper of this here lair
and the thrower-upper of hair.
- Impressive.
- Gross.
- Felt that.
- I also poop in a box.
- I am
Brendar the Barbarian.
-
- Uh, hi.
- My fellow questors and I
demand entrance to this lair.
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm
- There's never been
a single person
who went in there
and made it out alive.
- How about a married person?
- Nice shot.
- This cave presents
the greatest mortal danger
we have ever faced,
so I'd understand if any of you
choose not to continue.
- Count me in.
- We're on it.
- Hmmum
- Dad.
- What?
Oh, all right, yeah, fine,
I'll join you.
But if I die,
there's a package under my bed
I need one of you to burn.
- Another one?
- Even if you can get in,
you'll face a series
of three deadly escape rooms,
the likes of which
you've never seen.
- Challenge accepted.
How do we gain entrance?
- Dance.
♪
- Let's go! Get ready!
Show me your moves!
- You know what a musical troll
loves to do
more than sing?
Dance.
- Then step on up
and follow the directions.
If you can match
the moves exactly,
the door will open.
But strike out twice,
and your quest is done,
like those guys over there.
- Huh? Ew.
- All right, everybody,
stand back.
I'm about to bust a move.
Okay, here we go.
What?
- Oh.
- I didn't even get to do
my signature troll shuffle.
- Who's next?
- Okay, everybody, huddle up.
- Stacey, how's your dancing?
- I'm classically trained.
- Really?
- No, but I put that
on my resume.
- So
- It's fake.
- Yeah. Horus?
- Yeah, I can't.
I got two left feet
and I'm missing a toe.
- Oh, boy.
Well, how are we gonna get in?
- I'll do it.
- Wait, what?
- Wait.
- Well, we had
a good run, everybody.
- Uh, Brendar, are you sure?
I mean, you're a fierce warrior
who solves her problems
by smashing stuff.
- When I trained to be
a barbarian,
our three most
important courses were
the fundamentals of pummeling,
horde-forming, and dance.
- Really?
- Yeah.
It's useful
to ward off bear attacks
and for dancing
on your enemy's grave.
- We only got one more shot.
- Here, hold my Axe.
- What? Oh, okay.
- Use your core.
- I don't have a core.
Wah!
- Dance!
♪
♪
- Wowie-meowie!
- Huh.
- Wow!
♪
- Brendar's on fire!
Look at her dance.
- Meow!
- You win! Winner!
- Yeah!
- That was amazing.
- Wow.
- Who knew you could dance
like that?
- Grizzly bears
and grave diggers.
-
Fair enough.
- If you get stuck,
remember this.
The key will set you free.
Wish I knew how to dance.
- Everyone stay together
and don't touch anything.
- This place is so dungeony.
- Oh.
-
Is that hot cocoa
with marshmallows?
Whoa, that's exactly
what I wanted.
- You must be really easy
to shop for.
- Evan, don't drink
from random mugs,
especially in a demon's lair.
- I suppose that's good advice.
Whoops!
- Ooh!
- Yikes! Spikes!
- Are you okay,
my little owlet?
- Yeah, I just have
a new wing piercing,
and I'm stuck.
- Okay, the walls are
closing in.
- Back! Get back!
- I don't think
that's helping, Dad.
- We're all gonna be
quest kebabs.
- I got this.
Ugh. Lair has thick doors.
- Next time, try knocking.
- Okay, stay calm.
Remember what the cat said?
- "I poop in a box"?
- "Dance"?
- "Wowie-meowie"?
- No.
The key will set you free.
We just have to find the key.
- Ooh, there it is.
- Evan, you're the only one
small enough
to climb through the spikes
and get the key.
- You want me
to climb up there?
- Quickly.
- You want me
to climb up there?
- Yes.
- I can't even climb
a social ladder.
- Evan, we need that key
and you're our only hope.
- Dad.
- What?
- There's a box under my nest.
- Evan, you are
a valuable warrior
and my right-hand troll.
There is no one in this
whole kingdom I trust more,
and I know with all my heart
you can do this.
- Really?
- Really!
- Whoa! Okay.
- All I ever wanted was
for somebody to believe in me.
Now that they do,
it's a lot of pressure.
- You can do it.
- You got this!
- Come on. You can do it. Go.
- Up, up, up.
- Can you guys just maybe
hold it down?
- Sorry. I mean, you can do it.
- You got this. Faster.
- Go.
- I'm right there.
I got it.
I'm gonna get it.
- Come on, Evan. Come on.
- Yeah!
- Oh, sweet pellets.
- Whoa!
- You did it, Evan.
- Sure did. Yeah.
- I'm sorry I yelled at you.
- Oh, don't be.
Constant yelling is sometimes
my greatest motivator.
- Huh.
- All right!
- Yes!
Okay. Gotta focus.
This time, I won't drop the cup
'cause we gotta save
your brother.
- Evan, this room is not gonna
be the same as the other room.
- Less cocoa, but more festive.
Guys, the door
just disappeared.
-
Oh, I've heard of this.
It's the ancient demonic creed,
no backsies.
- Then we move forward.
- But before you do,
you're the next contestants
in the poison frog room!
- Where's the applause
coming from?
- Never mind that.
Let's get ready to play.
You'll have to answer
a series of riddles.
Get two right
and you'll be given
the keys to the next room.
But answer wrong
and I'll let out
a poisonous gas.
Get two wrong and the poison
will end your quest,
permanently.
So want to play?
- Is there a door number two
type option?
- No.
- We can do this.
We're so close.
- First question.
What doesn't have flesh
or feathers,
nor scales or bone,
yet has fingers and thumbs
all of its own?
- Easy.
Shimmereen used to make me
wear these all the time
when I was a princess warrior.
Gloves.
- Gloves.
- Oh.
- Good answer.
- That's a great answer.
Yeah, that's a good one.
- Final answer?
- Yes, final answer.
- That's correct.
One more and you'll gain
passage to the next room.
- Ooh, ooh, ooh.
- Next question.
What is something
that the more you take,
the more you leave behind?
- Ooh, I know this!
- Wait, Dad, wait.
- No, no, no, no, no,
I got this.
The answer isbeans.
Final answer.
- Oh, sorry.
Aww.
- The correct answer
is footsteps.
The more you take,
the more you leave behind.
- Beans?
- He said behind.
- Is everyone all right?
- I'm fine.
I don't really have lungs.
- Okay, I don't want to be
a total downer,
but we only have
one more chance at this,
or our quest ends permanently.
- But get it right
and you're free to go,
and you'll also bring home
a year's supply of Mice-a-roni.
- Mice-a-roni,
the new Gothmorian treat!
- Final question. No pressure.
I'm kidding. Tons of pressure.
Get this wrong and it's over.
Get this right and you'll be
free to move on.
Just ask the question!
- Imagine you are in a room
made of stone
that's quickly filling up
with water.
There are no windows or door.
How do you get out?
- Let's see.
- No windows or doors,
but what about a dindow?
- Making up words is
not gonna save us
or Brendar's brother.
- Well, you can't use
your head, that's for sure.
- What if we tunnel out?
- No, the tunnel would just
fill with water.
- All right, how about
we close our eyes
and think real hard?
Maybe it'll come to us.
- Hmm.
Imagine you're in a room.
It's made of stone.
There are no windows, no doors.
It's filling up
with water quickly.
How do you get out alive?
- Stop imagining.
- No, keep thinking.
- No, that's the answer.
Stop imagining.
- Huh?
- He said, "Imagine yourself
in a room filling up
with water."
If we stop imagining,
then we're out of the room.
- My little girl has a point.
- Are you sure, Stacey?
- Beans?
- Okay, we'll go with that one.
- Yeah.
- Stop imagining.
Final answer.
- It was nice knowing you guys.
- Ah
That's right.
- Stacey!
- Stacey, you saved the quest
and our lives.
- We are on our way
to rescue Kendar.
- Is Brendar hugging me?
- Uhumgood job.
- You've won yourself
a brand-new key to this door.
- Ooh.
- Yeah!
- Nice.
- All right.
- Thanks for playing
our game, everyone.
- Yeah, we did it!
- Hey, wizard, do you want
to try your luck
at the bonus round?
- What would I win?
- Horus.
- Dad.
- Coming.
- Ugh, that wizard.
- Huh?
-
- Feeling poison-y, Mr. Frog?
- I'm ready, wizzy.
♪
- Yeah!
- Thank you, Mr. Frog.
- Don't mention it.
Have a good time, questors.
And don't forget to help
control the pest population.
- Way to go, Dad.
- Oh, just did what any wizard
would do.
Became single-mindedly obsessed
with a poisonous trivia frog,
and then stuffed him in my robe
for later use.
- Horus, stop bragging.
-
- This is it.
- Whoa.
♪
- This is the end
of our journey.
- Kendar?
- Brendar?
- Is that really you?
- Yes, it's me.
- Wait.
The demon Alvin has played
tricks on me before,
lest I forget
the whole itching powder
in my leggings incident.
If you're really Brendar,
answer me this.
When we were kids,
what was our secret handshake?
- Aside from winking
and high-fives,
there is nothing I enjoy less
than secret handshakes.
- It really is you!
-
Aww.
- Oh, I really missed you.
- I missed you so much.
- Let me get a look at you.
You're all grown up.
- You can get a better look
at me
outside the super scary
demon lair.
- You're safe with us.
- And by us, she's referring
to her faithful questors.
There's
- What do you say
we finish these intros
in the light of day?
- Did you do
all these drawings yourself?
- I had to do something
to pass the years
of terrifying
demonic captivity.
Ready to go?
- Kendar, you're a really good
artist for a shut-in.
- Mm.
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
Shouldn't we be leaving?
- I assume you're self-taught.
- Yes.
Who's ready to get out of here?
- Look, it's you
digging with your pail.
Did you bring it?
- The pail?
- You're not gonna
believe this,
but there's something
very special
that I've been holding on to
all these years.
I kept this shovel
close to my heart
as I quested to save
my only brother.
And now pail and shovel can be
reunited just like us.
- I wouldn't touch that.
I pee and I poo in that bucket.
- Ew.
- Well, that was sweet
until it got gross.
- Anyway, they're reunited.
- Wow, this is convenient.
- Huh.
Oh, this is gonna be easier
than I thought it would be.
- Nothing can go wrong now.
- Stop.
This could be
one of Alvin's tricks.
- Retreat, questors!
- The only way out
is through me.
- What do we do?
- I say we go for it.
I mean,
he's clearly marked "exit,"
and his eyes are very trusting.
- It's not the eyes
I don't trust.
It's the teeth.
- Maybe it's 'cause I spent
my whole life
trying to not be eaten
by my mother,
but I don't trust anyone
who wants me
to walk into its jaws.
- Less talkin'. More walkin'.
Aah.
- I can't take the pressure!
- If we don't go now,
we'll be trapped here forever.
- Forever?
I've got too much music
to share with the world.
I'll never give up my dreams!
- I'm with the troll.
Fly or die!
Let's get it! Let's go!
- My little owlet!
Whee!
- Kendar, let's go.
- It's moving too fast.
- I can help.
- Axe.
-
- Kendar, now.
- Mm-mm.
- You guys split before I do.
- I can't lose you again.
- I can't hold this
much longer.
- I trust you.
To freedom!
- Tasted like an orc's foot.
- That door seriously needs
a mint.
- I'm free!
-
- We did it. We really did it.
- Yeah.
- And nothing is ever gonna
separate us again.
Aww.
- Then we were
suddenly dropped off
in the middle of the forest.
- Well, I for one am very glad
you made it back here alive.
You're some of my most
loyal customers,
and you have
a very large outstanding tab.
- Kendar, do you know
what happened
the day Alvin took you?
- The day the demon came,
I was outside digging.
Something was glowing.
I pulled it out,
and it was a crown.
I stood up and showed it
to Mom.
Mom seemed scared.
She knew there was
some dark magic at play,
and she told me
to drop the crown,
but it was too late.
Before I could do anything,
she was gone and I was being
lifted into the sky.
- Kendar!
- It all happened so fast.
And then I woke up in the lair.
- Whoa.
- Dark.
- I don't know how you got
through that on your own.
- I just hoped that one day,
you'd find me.
- Ha! Hope wins again.
- We haven't won yet.
As long as that demon is
still alive,
we'll always have to look
over our shoulders.
- Owls are known
for over shoulder looking,
and for swallowing
our food whole.
- We need to get
a good night's rest.
At first light, we wake
and hunt down Alvin.
- Ooh, sleepover!
Time to get into my pajamas.
- Dad, we're not at home.
- Hmm? Oh.
Ah, poof!
Yeah. All right.
Well, see you all
in the morning.
- Sweet dreams, peeps.
- How are you feeling?
- Mighty fighty, but for now,
night-nighty.
- Good night, Axe.
- Well, I'm gonna hit
the sack too.
Who knew barely escaping
with your life
could be this exhausting?
- I have to pee.
Where's your pail?
- We don't use a pail.
We use something called
an outhouse, and it's outside.
- There's a whole house
for that?
Freedom is awesome.
- Occupado.
- Oh, sorry.
- Hello, Kendar.
- Alvin?
- Miss me?
- Why won't you just
leave me alone?
- You have something I want.
All you have to do
is give it to me
and I'll leave you alone
forever.
- Is this about the quill
that I took from the lair?
- What quill?
- Wha--oh, I don't know.
- No, though I do
want that back.
Bring me Axe.
- No, I can't.
- Deliver me that weapon
or I'll end your sister
and that gang of fools
traveling with you.
- The same way I ended
your mother.
Do I make myself clear?
- Yes, demon Alvin.
- Good.
Then if you and your new
buddies would like to live,
you'll meet me back here
at midnight with that Axe.
Toodles.
Not my favorite way to travel,
but here goes.
- Yeah, I don't have to go
anymore.
- You okay?
- Yeah, no, I'm good. I'm fine.
- Let's find a place for you
to sleep tonight.
- Yeah, don't worry about it.
Kyle will clean up everything
as per ushe.
- There we go, nice and tight.
- You don't have to tuck me in.
- I know I don't have to.
I want to.
I'm gonna tuck you in
nice and tight
so no one runs off with you
in the night.
- It's okay.
I learned how to sleep
with both my eyes open.
- Hey, that's how I sleep.
- Cool.
-
- Oh, I forgot how nice it is
having a big sister.
- Sleep tight.
♪
- Good night, Brendar.
- Good night, Kendar.
♪
- Hey, Brendar.
♪
- Oh, you guys are
the best audience,
but I insist on wearing pants.