The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s01e11 Episode Script

1
CYBORG CIDER-MAN VERSION TWO
Good grief. I shouldn't have gotten
his balloon back.
Hey, are you Cyborg Cider-Man Version Two?
No, I'm definitely not
Cyborg Cider-Man Version Two.
Hey! You're Cyborg Cider-Man Version Two,
right?
I'm not.
I'm not a Cyborg, I'm not Cider-Man,
and I'm not Version Two.
But I saw you doing the Cider Jump!
-You can't hide your identity from me!
-No, I'm just a high school student.
Can I have your autograph?
Please What?
What?
I don't have time for this.
Yes! Thank you!
I'll treasure this forever!
You look like you're about five.
Where are your parents?
Are you lost?
Hey, can you do the Cider Jump
again for me?
"Cyborg Cider-Man Version Two."
What the hell is this?
What happened to Version One?
I always drink the Energy Cider!
I see. He's a soda superhero.
Sometimes, it's easy to spot
sleazy advertising.
Do the Cider Jump for me, please!
To do the Cider Jump, you use
the Soda Power under your feet, right?
It must be the fizziest soda ever.
Please, show me!
Ouch!
You idiot! Psychokinesis!
That was close.
It's the Cider Air Gun.
The Cider Air Gun!
I know what that is! The Cider Air Gun
uses the Soda Power on your hands
to blow enemies away.
He can shoot soda from his hands and feet?
What a waste of technology.
Why is this kid so worked up about soda?
When it comes to Cyborg Cider-Man
Version Two, I know everything.
Cider all over the place.
He's basically a soda machine.
You're definitely
Cyborg Cider-Man Version Two!
Cyborg Cider-Man Version Two
is my favorite!
Why do you keep repeating his name?
I need to find his parents.
But I don't hear anyone
looking for their kid.
-I thought I heard
-A police officer.
Is he lost?
Suspicious. They've just met,
-but the kid seems to adore him.
-Better than him hating me.
My 13 years of experience tells me
something is wrong.
You should quit.
Whatever. I'll leave the rest to him.
Hey kiddo, do you know that man?
I do! He's a superhero!
He blew away a car earlier.
What? Hey you, wait!
Where did the cop go?
Don't worry about him.
I just used
the Cider Intimidation Technique.
Seriously, where are his parents?
If I can't sense them using my telepathy,
they must be more than 200 meters away.
Hey, was the Baron Cola really strong?
He was.
How can this kid stay so calm?
It's getting dark.
Mom, let's go home!
Hey, Mom
What?
-Mom's not here!
-Did you notice that just now?
My mom is lost somewhere!
No, you're lost.
I thought my mom was right behind me,
but it was just my balloon.
Are all five-year-olds this dumb?
Cyborg Cider-Man Version Two!
Help me find Mom!
-I guess this is the only option I have.
-What?
What
Get on. It's the Cider Jump.
Wow! You're flying!
Don't shout. People will see.
-Mom!
-Yuuta!
Where have you been?
I was so worried.
I'm sorry.
Cyborg Cider-Man Version Two helped me.
See! What?
Who are you talking about?
Were you following a stranger?
Cyborg Cider-Man Version Two
must avoid the public eye.
He was really there.
His autograph
What? It's gone.
Just think it was a dream,
and forget about me.
Don't wander off again.
This is our new home.
Oh, good evening.
We're the Iridatsu family.
We just moved in next door.
Oh my god,
it's Cyborg Cider-Man Version Two!
He really does exist!
Neighbors
No! Look at the time!
I'm already late! I'm so late!
It's summer vacation,
but it's been a chaotic morning
because of him.
Please, help me out.
Can you teleport me to work
-with that magical pink door
-No!
Please!
I don't care how much you beg.
Give up and just walk to work.
Please, I'll buy your favorite
coffee jelly later.
-We're here.
-What?
Wow! This is our office building!
Thank you, son!
Now my boss will slap me
only four times instead of five.
That's basically the same.
Would you like to take a tour
of my company since you're here?
What company?
You change jobs so often,
I can't keep track.
Was it a shoe-cleaning company?
I work for a publishing company, Shuensha.
Shueisha?
It's one of Japan's
major publishing companies.
Its employees are the best of the best!
Oh no, not there.
-Not Shueisha, it's Shuensha.
-Shuensha?
The names are similar, so people
get them mixed up a lot.
You wanted them to get
mixed up, didn't you?
It looks totally different in writing.
-See.
-That's still shady.
We publish comics here.
Comics?
This is my department.
The editing department
for Weekly Youth Cognac!
Never heard of it.
What's that look on your face?
Have you not heard of Weekly Youth Cognac?
Sorry, but no.
Jump, Magazine, Sunday, Champion,
and Cognac are the top comic magazines!
The cognac part is unfamiliar.
You. Saiki!
What time do you think it is?
Are you asking for a beating?
-Who's that?
-My son!
My son is actually a huge fan of Cognac,
and he really wanted to meet the majestic
editor in chief in person.
Well, I guess it can't be helped.
I'm the editor in chief, Onimatsu.
So, you're a fan of Cognac?
So, this was your plan.
You can show him around,
but get your work done.
Thanks to you, he didn't hit me at all!
You owe me more than one coffee jelly.
Here! This is the editing room.
It's a mess.
But I am interested in what goes on
behind the scenes in comics production.
How long are you going to keep us waiting?
You're still not done?
What? Still?
They're calling to make the artists
work faster.
Making comics is a lot of work.
-We editors need to motivate them.
-Get the work done, you idiot!
I wouldn't call that motivating.
Look! This is our Weekly Youth Cognac.
-You recognize it now?
-No.
Here! You don't want it?
Look! This is our featured comic,
Good Timing Santaro!
There are lots of other great comics, too.
Aren't editors allowed to say something
about the titles?
They're really good! Check them out!
-Why won't you give them a chance?
-Mr. Saiki, you have a guest.
Oh right, I have a meeting
for the manuscript today.
Sorry! I'll be back.
I had no idea he does comics editing.
I've seen Dad reading comics sometimes,
but he has never talked about work.
Mom looks so cute washing the dishes!
He only seems to think about Mom
all the time.
I'm worried. I should check up on him.
This is much better. It's drawn well.
You've sharpened the art,
and improved on the spacing.
But I'm not sure about the characters.
You actually sound like an editor.
Why don't you give the protagonist
psychic powers?
-What?
-Hey.
But this is a sports comic.
Come in with something flashier next time.
Your advice is all over the place!
In other words,
-come back with Naruto.
-That's impossible!
-Sorry for the wait!
-Go apologize to that artist, not me.
Hold on, this is from one of the artists.
Hello, this is Saiki.
-Yes, what we discussed earlier?
-I've seen a new side of him.
-Yes, I agree.
-Well
Going home already?
I'll get in the way if I stay longer.
Tedious work, don't you think?
Even if we're in a crisis,
there's no superhero to come save us.
But it does feel good when we finally get
our artists' finished products.
And it's all worth it
to make our readers happy.
Work hard, so you can raise me.
That kid.
Well, I'd better start working
on the manuscript that came in yesterday.
Kusuo! Help me!
No superheroes to save you, right?
Summer break is so nice.
Even if I read all day at home,
nobody complains.
Once I finish my homework in a day,
I can do whatever I want for the rest.
Thankfully, there's nobody home today.
I can relax.
Is that Nendo?
No, that's
Cyborg Cider-Man Version Two! Hi!
Right, Mom did say
Yuuta will be home alone today,
so hang out with him if he stops by!
-Dealing with neighbors is rough.
-Thanks for having me!
So this is the home
of Cyborg Cider-Man Version Two!
What?
-There's no cider in your sink.
-That's right.
But I read it!
Whenever Cider-Man cooks, showers,
or brushes his teeth,
he uses cider!
If he does, Cider-Man will get sick.
Your toilet water is cider, right?
I heard it washes germs away with bubbles!
How convenient.
Anyway, I brought this.
Cyborg Cider-Man Version Two in Blu-ray!
Let's watch it together!
Watching Cider-Man
next to Cider-Man feels like eating ramen
while watching a ramen special on TV!
Your analogy sounds simple,
but hard to understand.
Cyborg Cider-Man Version Two!
Cider!
Just shut up and watch.
The tenth episode, The Lemonade Monster.
It's the Lemonade Monster!
It's so sour!
Damn you!
So sour!
It's no use! Even if we attack him,
his juice will splash everywhere.
-We're doomed.
-Because of a lemon?
That bottle!
It's over, Lemonade Monster!
That voice!
Cyborg Cider-Man Version Two,
bubbles to the rescue!
Be quiet.
Do you think he can win?
If you be quiet, he can.
Take that! Cider Punch!
Wait, you can't hit him!
He'll spray you with lemon juice!
I told you!
He's covered in lemon juice!
It's over for us.
Wait, hold on!
It didn't affect him at all!
His face says, "Did something happen?"
-Did something happen?
-He said it!
Why?
I just became lemon cider!
Lemon cider?
That's right!
When you add lemon to cider,
the sweet and sour tastes combine
into a refreshing drink packed
with Vitamin C!
A drink perfect for summer!
All your lemon juice did was
make me stronger!
Take this!
Lemon Cider Attack!
Available at a store near you!
For only 148 yen?
-Sleazy.
-He won!
The product placement is awful.
You did it, Cyborg Cider-Man Version Two!
You won! It made me want some lemon cider.
You fell for it.
Show me your Lemon Cider Attack!
Or give me some lemon cider!
I won't show or give you.
-Here.
-Lemon cider!
I'm glad I bought three of these.
Is he your little brother, pal?
-Lemon Cider Attack!
-Lemon!
What was that for?
When did you waltz in here?
No violence!
Are you okay?
Thanks, kiddo.
What's wrong?
Your face.
-It's the Baron Cola!
-Baron Cola?
SECRET BASE
I'm sorry, Baron Cola.
-Next time, I swear
-There is no next time.
But your juices will empower me,
the Baron Cola.
That's Nendo.
-What?
-That's Baron Cola.
Cyborg Cider-Man Version Two! Help!
-You two look alike.
-What?
Oh, it's Baron Cola.
You know him? Why did they zoom in?
I'm actually a big fan of Baron Cola.
-I grew a mustache because of Baron Cola.
-Just the mustache?
So, that's why you're scared!
Don't worry, kiddo.
I'm not scary at all.
-He's going to melt me with Coke!
-Good grief.
Your face is too intense for a child.
I can't really see,
but what happened to the kid?
Cider Eject.
I see.
The festival is why it's been so loud
outside today.
I usually hate crowds,
but festivals aren't so bad.
Congratulations! This is the counterfeit
of the popular toy.
Awesome!
My parents brought me to festivals
when I was younger.
There were prizes I wanted,
but I couldn't win any.
Sorry! Come again.
That was disappointing.
But it is a fond memory.
It's so crowded.
I can't use telepathy at all.
Well
I hope I don't run into anyone I know.
Like I said.
There's no octopus in these takoyaki.
-That was close. I'll go this way instead.
-This is just fried batter.
Not a bad gun. A 22-gauge.
It's been a while since I've seen
a bolt action type.
-The trigger pull weight is right.
-It's just a cork gun.
Fire!
Nice try.
-Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
-Make way!
-Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
-Shrine coming through!
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
Maybe I'll just leave.
This might make me hate festivals.
-I'll get a candy apple before I leave.
-That's 300 yen.
What?
-My wallet is gone.
-Something wrong?
Did I drop it? No way.
That's not possible.
Big crowds make for easy prey.
Hey, are you buying one?
With this many people,
I can't tell who's who.
-It's gone!
-What's wrong?
My wallet! Someone stole it!
Really? How much money was in there?
You said you put all the savings
from your summer job in your wallet.
He got pickpocketed. You dummy.
Be more cautious
when you're in a crowd. Good grief.
I got pickpocketed, too.
I did?
I did?
I did?
I did?
SHIVERING
Takahashi lost it!
I'm as pathetic as Takahashi?
SHIVERING
Wait, what?
Is it already time for fireworks?
-No, not for another hour.
-I've never been this ashamed.
Festivals are interesting after all.
I will find you
and take revenge!
But with this many people,
I can't find him with telepathy.
How much did I have in my wallet?
This should work.
I scored a lot this year, too!
My backpack is stuffed to the brim.
So heavy
Heavy!
What happened?
What the hell?
What
-Are you okay?
-Shit!
You forgot your bike.
What the
Did you get my present?
It was an illegally abandoned motorcycle.
After some repairs,
it had the same value as my wallet.
So I swapped them with my ability.
After that, I just sensed out
where there was a commotion.
Easy.
-Well then
-Who are you?
You stole from a psychic.
I hope you're prepared.
I'M TURNING MYSELF IN.
This is the worst.
-Hey!
-What?
-My wallet is back!
-No way!
-That's such a relief.
-Three more to go.
I could've left it to the police,
but they would take time to return
everyone's money
and the vibe of the festival
would be ruined.
With psychometry, I can figure out
who each wallet belongs to
and it's not too hard.
THE JET-BLACK WINGS
-It's gone! My wallet's gone!
-Oh, it's yours.
-So, he was a victim too. What an idiot.
-Oh, my wallet.
Okay, two more.
It's gone!
My wallet is gone!
Where were you keeping it?
The last one
Hey. That's my wallet.
I figured.
Saiki, you were here too.
-Saiki! Nendo! What a coincidence!
-Good grief. So it comes to this.
Come to think of it, Takahashi's wallet
never turned up.
Let's go home.
Here is a girl stressed out
about something.
Why do I keep thinking about him?
Kokomi Teruhashi, 16 years old.
A crush? No!
For a dunce like him not to gasp
when he sees a perfect lady like me
is unforgivable!
One day, I'll make you gasp
when you see me,
Kunio Saiki!
Meanwhile
I don't know what to do.
Here is another stressed-out girl.
I haven't gotten any screen time lately.
Chiyo Yumehara, 16 years old.
No, that's not what I'm worried about.
It's about Saiki.
It's like there's some invisible force
keeping us apart.
And these two
-Kokomi?
-Yumehara?
They ran into each other.
It's the first time we've seen each other
outside of school.
You're right.
I guess you come to these places too.
Yes, I come here sometimes
to study or read.
This is awkward.
I haven't really spoken to her before.
I acted really friendly,
but I don't really know her that well.
-Hey
-So
Oh, our class trip
is coming up soon, right?
We're going to Okinawa, right?
I'm so excited.
Yes, I'm looking forward to it.
It's three days with Saiki.
Me, too.
It's three days with Saiki.
You're more beautiful
than Okinawa's beaches.
You're way more beautiful
than Okinawa's beaches.
-If only
-If only
-Were you thinking about something?
-No! Nothing! Were you?
Me, neither!
Is there anybody you have a crush on?
There is!
No, there isn't!
It was so out of the blue
that I was just surprised.
I guess that makes sense.
You don't look like the type
to worry about romance.
Do you have a crush on anyone?
Well, I do.
-Oh, who?
-It's a secret.
-Is it someone in our class?
-Yes.
I want to know!
No way that it's Saiki. I wonder who?
-Saiki
-What?
I broke up with someone recently, and
Oh, I misheard!
He's someone I had a crush on
before I started dating my ex.
Wow, she actually has
some dating experiences.
Maybe I'll ask her for some advice.
So, there actually is someone
I've been thinking about.
No way!
Who? A classmate?
Our school? Is he French?
You're shouting.
You're too close.
I wonder who it is?
There are lots of boys around you,
so it's hard to guess.
What? That's not true.
The last time I hung out with boys
was on New Year's Day
when I went over to Saiki's place
with Hairo and others.
Oh, I see.
I didn't expect her to bring up Saiki.
What was that?
Did she react to Saiki's name?
-I doubt it.
-No way.
-Do you
-Any chance
Is your crush
The person you like
-Saiki?
-Is it Saiki?
Meanwhile, the man in question
was sitting in the next booth.
What? You don't look good.
-Perhaps, you sense the Dark Reunion
-Oh, no.
If the two of them
develop a rivalry over me
and start to harass me,
that would be far more annoying
than Nendo and Kaido combined.
The two of them have started to wonder
whether they both have crush on me.
I need to stop this.
Without letting them notice
Sorry, I dropped something.
-Teruhashi!
-Nendo?
Idiot!
-No way!
-Did he hear us?
-Kokomi.
-Your face is so red!
-So, it was true.
-Now I'm sure.
-Kokomi, you
-Yumehara, you
-like Saiki!
-like Saiki!
Don't jump to conclusions!
Oh, sorry!
-It's fine.
-Her face is redder than before!
I see! The one you like
You're up next.
Sorry!
What? Her face is so red!
The one Teruhashi likes
I made their faces heat up
using pyrokinesis.
Good grief.
So, the one Yumehara likes is Kaido.
I didn't expect Kokomi to be into Nendo!
Somehow, I feel like I complicated things.
I'll say it again,
I'm not a Cyborg, I'm not Cider-Man,
and I'm not Version Two.
I'm a psychic.
Next time
It's an episode about the class trip
that everyone was so excited about.
I'm nervous about what's going to happen.
Subtitle translation by Takuya Sawaoka