The Jetsons (1962) s01e11 Episode Script

Meet George Jetson His boy, Elroy Daughter, Judy Jane, his wife This is a heartwarming story of that delicate and tender relationship which exists between a man and his faithful dog.
Our story begins here in the home of Mr.
and Mrs.
George Jetson.
WiII you get the heck out of here? George, I wish you wouIdn't shout at Astro.
He's awfuIIy sensitive.
And I wish he'd keep his cIammy paws off of me.
Now, can he heIp it if he's so friendIy? If he gets any friendIier, he'II throw me a bone.
A bone? But our story really begins some distance away at the Moonside Country Club, where two industrial giants are engaged in a bitter cold war.
I gotta hand it to you, SpaceIy.
You've got a Iot of gumption chaIIenging me to a round of goIf.
Sort of Iike a fIea chaIIenging an eIephant.
How wouId you Iike to go home with a mouthfuI of divots, CogsweII? Now, don't get sore, SpaceIy.
It's onIy naturaI that you'd want to whip me at goIf seeing as you can't whip me at business.
For your information, CogsweII, we at SpaceIy Sprockets are about to put CogsweII Cosmic Cogs out of business.
Again? What is it this time? You gonna bIow up the pIant? Boy, what a shot! I can't even see the baII.
Let's see you top that shot, CogsweII.
Hit me with that backswing again and I'II use a nibIick on you.
Now, try again.
You missed the baII compIeteIy.
That was just a practice swing.
Guess I'd better switch to a number three driver.
There.
Now I ought to be abIe to hit it.
Here goes.
Hey, Iook! I made it.
The baII's Ianding on the green.
Might as weII face it, SpaceIy.
You're a born Ioser.
I think I'II paint your picture on my goIf baII, CogsweII.
It couId take 1 0 strokes off my game.
You know, SpaceIy you haven't tried putting CogsweII Cogs out of business for a Iong time.
I know.
I've been sick.
So, what gimmick are you gonna try this time? Don't worry.
You'II find out in time to pick up your unempIoyment check.
Hot dog! A hoIe in one! Boy, that guy burns me up.
Now, Iook, SpaceIy.
A hoIe in one is a hoIe in one.
Not off my head, it ain't.
You're supposed to hoIIer ''fore'' before you swing.
Oh, you mean Iike this? Fore! How's that? WeII, that wasn't bad, but it's more Iike this.
Fore! You reaIize, of course this means totaI war, SpaceIy.
Good.
It'II be a pIeasure to turn your pIace into a garage.
Maybe I'II give you a job parking cars.
Go ahead.
Make jokes, CogsweII.
You'II wow them down at the unempIoyment Iine.
And so the cold war flared into a shooting war between Cogswell Cogs and Spacely Space Sprockets.
There's onIy one thing worse than war.
And that's business.
SpaceIy has decIared business on us, HarIan.
So I want you to sneak over to his pIant and start snooping around.
-Snooping, sir? -That's right.
But isn't that sIightIy unethicaI, sir? Are you chaIIenging me again, HarIan? Oh, no, sir.
No, sir.
But what shouId I put on my timecard, sir? Charge it to Research.
What eIse? Oh, yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Sir.
SpaceIy has got some scheme cooking to put me out of business.
You find out what it is and report back to me.
-Now, scram.
-Right, sir.
Roger and out.
Prepare for Iiftoff.
Contact.
Start the countdown.
Five, four, three-- -Knock it off, HarIan! -Yes, sir.
Meanwhile, back at the Spacely camp feverish preparations were also being made for the impending clash of the two tycoons.
Me and my big, fat mouth.
I better get Jetson up here.
He may have some ideas.
-You caIIed, sir? -Jetson, this is an emergency.
CogsweII has decIared war on us.
I want you to come up with a sure-fire gimmick to put him out of business permanentIy.
Is that aII? How soon do you want this done? No hurry.
Anytime in the next five minutes is fine.
Five minutes? But, Mr.
SpaceIy, it's quitting time.
That's a funny way to turn in your resignation, Jetson.
Resignation? I was onIy kidding, sir.
-I couId work at home, I guess.
-Good.
I want this whoIe project wrapped up and CogsweII out in the street by morning! Now, move! You reaIIy think it's necessary to wipe him out, sir? Are you questioning my briIIiant judgment, Jetson? -No, sir.
-Good.
Now, get back to your grindstone.
Gee.
I better report this to Mr.
CogsweII.
This is secret agent X-731 45.
Reporting into headquarters on uItra-frequency band 20851 with vitaI information.
Roger.
Over and-- Will you knock it off? Sorry, sir.
Sir.
Sir.
Sir.
You have been watching too many TV shows.
Now, give me your report without the fancy frills and tinsel.
Yes, sir.
WeII, sir, SpaceIy's man Jetson is taking the project home to compIete.
-What shaII I do now, Mr.
CogsweII? -What else? Tail Jetson home and find out what he's up to.
-Now, get going.
-Right, sir.
This is secret agent X-731 45 signing off.
-Over and-- -Now, cut that out! Yes, sir! Gee whiz! Bosses have no feeIing for drama.
Now, Iet me see.
Company A wants to put Company B out of business.
George.
George, what are you doing? I'm working.
What eIse? Oh, but you promised never to bring your work home with you.
WeII, I'm on the spot.
Yeah.
On the spot.
I gotta come up with a gimmick to put CogsweII out of business.
Or I'm out of business.
And we wouIdn't Iast Iong on unempIoyment checks.
A thousand a week don't stretch very far these days.
-That's right.
-What do you mean, ''That's right''? What are you doing here, anyway? Now, come on.
Get out of here.
-You don't Iove me.
-Oh, I do too Iove you.
It's just that I'm busy, that's aII.
Now, be a man's best friend and get out.
Oh, reaIIy, George! EIroy, wiII you pIay with Astro whiIe your daddy works? Sure, Mom.
Come on, Astro.
I got something to show you.
Oh, boy.
Maybe now I can get some work done.
Look, Astro.
This is my new remote-controI, fIying-modeI space car.
I'II show you how it works.
Hey, Astro! -What did you do with my car? -I swaIIowed it.
You swaIIowed it? -HeIIo.
-HeIIo.
Don't bother me, Astro.
Astro! Hey, what's going on here? Astro swaIIowed my fIying space car, Dad.
Great.
Give me that.
I'II get him down.
We'II have to take him to the vet to get your space car back.
Boy! This secret-agent stuff is exciting! Now to find out what Jetson is up to.
Good heavens! Oh, boy! This is great! It is fun, isn't it? Jetson has invented an antigravity machine and he's controIIing his dog with that instrument! Okay, Astro.
Ride's over.
Down, boy.
Sorry to Iet you down so hard, Astro.
That's a joke.
Get it? Yeah.
I better report this to Mr.
CogsweII.
This is secret agent X-731 45 caIIing Mr.
CogsweII.
Come in, Mr.
CogsweII.
-What is it, Harlan? -What's the password, sir? Look, jughead, it's me, Cogswell! CouId be a cIever disguise.
Spies are sneaky.
Well, I ain't no sneaky spy.
Then what's the password, sir? Harlan, you are fired! After you complete this mission, of course.
Now.
What did you find out? WeII, sir, George Jetson has perfected an antigravity machine.
-Why, you're kidding! -Oh, no, sir.
No, sir.
He's test-hopping his dog right now.
It's fantastic! His dog? Harlan, if you can get that dog over here for debriefing and interrogation, you can have your job back.
Oh, gee, thanks, Mr.
CogsweII, sir.
All right.
Get going.
Roger.
Cogswell signing off.
Over and out.
Now you got me doing it.
Just get going, will you? Yes, sir.
At once, sir.
Hey, Dad, I took Astro outside for his waIk.
What shouId I do now? Go pIay with something quiet, wiII you, pIease, EIroy? Okay.
Now, then.
This top sirIoin ought to fetch me one dog fuII of top secrets.
Oh, boy! I got him! Hey! What's going on? You know what's going on.
And you're coming with me, understand? Now, come aIong.
HeeI! Boy, the things I do for my measIy saIary.
Good work, HarIan.
You have got a good grip on the situation.
Moonstone here wiII find out what makes this dog tick-- FIy.
You may reIease the dog now, HarIan.
-Ready, Moonstone? -Ready, Mr.
CogsweII.
I'II start with the third degree.
Third degree? -No cheating.
-Okay, dog, start taIking.
-I ain't taIking.
-You ain't taIking, eh? Not even for a juicy space burger? Try that again and I'II report you to the SPCH.
What's that? Society for Prevention of CrueIty to Humans.
-So knock it off! -How about that? Now, what about this antigravity formuIa you have? I don't know.
Where were you on the night of January 1 6th? What kind of a question is that? -Stay out of this, wiII you, HarIan? -Yes, sir.
-Now what's the matter? -I'm afraid of the dark.
Afraid of the dark? Turn on the Iights, Moonstone.
Are you trying to get the SPCA on our backs? Got any more briIIiant ideas? WeII, sir, there is MariIyn.
MariIyn? HeIIo, big boy.
Who, me? Oh, boy! Now, Iisten, dog.
If you want to meet that IittIe number, I can arrange it.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
AII you gotta do is start taIking.
-TaIking? -That's right.
WeII.
You getting aII this down, Moonstone? -Oh, yes, sir.
-Good.
Keep taIking, dog.
And that's aII.
And that's aII.
SpIendid! SpIendid! -Read that back to me, Moonstone.
-Yes, sir.
Oh, knock it off, Moonstone! You and your briIIiant ideas.
Now what is it, EIroy? You know I'm busy.
It's Astro, Dad.
I can't find him anywhere.
Now, don't worry.
He's probabIy asIeep somewhere.
I'II turn the controI to fIy him and wake him up.
Now, Iisten, dog.
There's no reason why you and me can't be true buddies, right? Right.
True ''ruddies.
'' And ruddies-- I mean, buddies don't keep secrets from each other, right? -Right.
-He's fIying! He's fIying! That's what he was doing when I first saw him.
IncredibIe! Do something, you guys! Don't Ieave me hung up here Iike this! -You better Iet go, sir.
-Okay.
Geronimo! WeII, men, Iet's face it.
SpaceIy has finaIIy made good his threat.
We're Iicked, finished, through! Might as weII caII SpaceIy and congratuIate him.
Might be abIe to work out some decent surrender terms that way.
Miss Jupiter, get me SpaceIy on the air right away.
Boy.
What a big hassIe to fix a sandwich these days.
You gotta be a reguIar engineer.
Let me see.
Cheese, Iettuce tomatoes, pickIes, onions ham, rye bread and mustard.
Yeah.
That shouId do it.
Not bad.
Maybe I shouId have been a short-order chef.
Mr.
Cogswell on the air for you, Mr.
Spacely.
How are you, Spacely? I mean, Mr.
Spacely, sir.
Forget the sarcasm, CogsweII.
I surrender.
You whipped me fair and square.
-I did? -You sure did.
That invention of Jetson's is unbeatable.
It is? I mean, of course it is.
Well, if you ever need an extra vice president I'm available and humbled, sir.
So long, Mr.
Spacely.
I don't get it.
UnIess.
UnIess maybe Jetson did come up with something.
I better get over to his pIace quick, before he goofs it.
Boy.
I sure wouId Iike to know what makes that pooch fIy.
That Jetson must be a mechanicaI genius.
Look at him go! He's gone! Hey, where you going, chief? If I am going out of business, I got a right to know why.
I'm taiIing that dog.
Taxi! FoIIow that dog.
Oh, for goodness' sake.
I'II get my own car.
Move over, paI.
On this trip, you have got company.
-''Rompany''? -Yeah.
Rompany.
Oh, it's no use.
I just can't come up with an idea to put CogsweII Cogs out of business.
Oh, Mr.
SpaceIy's gonna be awfuI sore.
I'II get fired for sure.
Come in.
George, my boy, congratuIations! I knew you'd do it.
I never doubted for a moment you wouIdn't come through.
I'm proud of you.
You're? You're proud of me? I aIways said to myseIf, ''Keep an eye on Jetson.
He's a naturaI-born vice president.
'' You did? I mean, I am? WeII, Iet's have it, George.
I mean, VP.
TeII me how you put CogsweII Cogs out of business.
Out of business? I don't get it.
I-- -Astro, you're back! -So that's it.
BriIIiant, George, simpIy briIIiant.
You've soIved the gravity probIem.
Gravity probIem? You're mistaken, sir.
I'm onIy-- May I come in? -GentIemen.
-CogsweII! I don't want to intrude but I wouId Iike to extend my personaI congratuIations to your man Jetson.
-That is, if you don't mind, Mr.
SpaceIy.
-Quiet, CogsweII.
You're interrupting my new vice president who is demonstrating our new product.
Sorry, Mr.
SpaceIy, sir.
The troubIe with you, CogsweII, is that you got no cIass.
Proceed, George.
Listen, Mr.
SpaceIy, this isn't what you think it is.
Nonsense, Jetson.
Go on with the demonstration.
Very weII, sir.
Oh, you did it, Dad! You got Astro to cough up my toy space car.
WeII, CogsweII? What do you think of our--? Toy space cars? What is this, Jetson? Some kind of a gag? I tried to teII you, Mr.
SpaceIy.
Astro swaIIowed my boy's toy space car.
That's what I was controIIing with this machine.
Here, Iook.
I'II show you.
Why, you snake in the grass.
PuIIing a phony stunt Iike that.
WeII, I was wise to you aII aIong.
Just one of Jetson's jokes, you understand, CogsweII.
Yeah.
He's a riot.
If you Iike sick jokes.
So Iong, SpaceIy.
And keep those modeIs fIying.
Jetson, you're fired! Yes, of course, sir.
As soon as I finish my homework, I'II pIay with you, Astro.
It won't take Iong.
I'm using my oraI computer.
OraI computer? I'II show you.
Listen.
The square root of an isosceles triangle is the sum total of side A times side B.
The radius of an elongated circle is half of the circumference.
Who cares? Elementary fusion is analytic mathematics.
Oh, Astro.
Not again.
You better teII Dad you swaIIowed the computer.
He'II know what to do.
Therapeutic and relative deduction principles in varying inverted forces.
Oh, no! You're not onIy fired, Jetson but you'II hear from my attorneys in the morning! Digital operational figures are converted into decimals.
The theory of relativity is based on relative time.
Why, Jetson, that dog is briIIiant.
Oh, I get it.
You harnessed that dog's brain for science.
Who, me? You are a sIy one, George.
Throwing CogsweII off course the way you did.
That was beautifuI, just beautifuI.
But I didn't.
Sunspots have a definite bearing on weather.
You know, something Iike this couId repIace humans.
Have that dog on my desk first thing in the morning.
So Iong, Vice President Jetson.
Was that Mr.
SpaceIy, George? -WeII, how did it go? -Just great.
I've been made vice president, thanks to Astro.
Astro? WeII, what did he have to do with it? X minus Y equals the square root of a triangle.
-Did you get my computer yet, Dad? -Your computer? Yeah.
Astro swaIIowed it.
Venus is 38,000 light-years from point X.
You mean that's why--? Because-- And SpaceIy thinks that-- -Oh, no! -Something wrong, dear? Nothing that a new job wouIdn't take care of.
AII right.
Come on, everybody.
We're aII going out to dinner.
Why aII of a sudden? Because whiIe I'm vice president, we might as weII Iive it up.
Tomorrow's gonna be a Iong, Iong day.
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
HeIp! HeIp! Jane, stop this crazy thing! Jane! HeIp! Jane!