The Orville (2017) s01e11 Episode Script
New Dimensions
1 [LIGHTHEARTED JAZZ PLAYING.]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
KELLY: Well, I hope you like our little send-off.
Yeah, we're gonna miss you, Commander.
I'm gonna miss you guys.
Believe me, I wouldn't be leaving if it wasn't such a sweet offer.
Yeah, I guess it's not every day you get to help design a space station.
- Are you nervous? - A little.
But, hey, as long as I can sneak a pop or two on the job.
Glug, glug, glug.
Nah.
Can you imagine? Ah - Think he knows yet? - No.
Look at him.
He has no idea.
JOHN: How the hell can he not know? What are you guys talking about? We took a piece of Yaphit when he wasn't looking, and we dropped it in the buffet.
[GASPS.]
Oh, my God, no, you didn't! JOHN: Yeah, we're just waiting for him to catch on.
[LAUGHS.]
You guys are so hilarious.
Ah, I wish I had the guts to pull pranks.
I always think of super outrageous stuff, and I never follow through.
[CHUCKLES.]
You guys should get to know me better 'cause I'm really funny.
Oh, check it out, he's leaving.
Oh, I love jokes.
Hey, Doc.
[QUIETLY.]
: Oh, God, the last person I want to see right now.
Yaphit, I'm very busy this better not be a social visit.
No, it's not.
I don't feel well.
What's wrong? I think I lost a piece.
Uh, excuse me? I feel like I'm missing a piece, and I can't for the life of me figure out where I lost it.
Well, okay, hop up on the table, let's have a look.
[SCANNER TRILLING.]
I'm not quite sure how to ask this, but when your species loses a piece of tissue, is it conscious? Kind of.
I have a dim sense of a dark, wet place.
I-I just can't get any more specific than that.
Bortus, what can I do for you? I am experiencing digestive discomfort.
With your iron stomach? Okay Have a seat.
Um, Yaphit? - Yeah? - I think I found your piece.
Wh-What do you mean? - Inside Bortus' digestive tract.
- What?! What the hell, man, you friggin' ate me? I did not eat you.
Well, what the hell am I doing inside you, you bastard? Bortus, have you eaten anything in the past hour? Only a slice of prawgus cake at the buffet.
Yaphit, did you go near the prawgus cake at all? Oh, crap.
Yeah.
With John and Gordon, those dicks.
Mystery solved.
Aw, man, I don't believe it.
Ah, okay, how you want to do this? Do what? I gotta go in and get the piece.
What do you mean, "go in"? I mean go in.
I gotta go in.
- Pick an entry.
- I will not allow you inside me.
Doc, help me out here.
Bortus, I'm sorry.
He can do it cleaner than I can.
[SIGHS.]
Do what you must.
Open your mouth.
YAPHIT: All right, come on.
Where are you, fella? Aw, dude, it stinks down here.
What the hell you been eating? What is that, a is that a boot?! Ah, there we go.
Jackpot.
CLAIRE: Great.
Now, if you two wouldn't mind leaving, this is more weirdness than I can handle in one day.
At any point, did you consider the possibility that what you were doing was stupid? BOTH [SLOWLY.]
: No.
No.
- I didn't, no.
- Not that I remember.
Did it occur to you that Yaphit might be upset? - Yes.
- No.
At the time, it did not seem a matter of consequence.
Honestly, we just thought it would be funny.
Well, I hope you got a good laugh, because if I can't talk him out of filing charges, you guys are gonna be in trouble.
Yes, sir.
I'm placing a formal reprimand on each of your records.
Dismissed.
[DOOR WHOOSHES OPEN.]
[DOOR WHOOSHES SHUT.]
You got to be kidding me.
[DOOR CHIMES.]
Come in.
Hey.
Take a look at this.
- Is this accurate? - I confirmed it with the Union Central database just to be sure.
Ed, that aptitude rating is through the roof.
Aside from Isaac, John is the smartest officer on board.
My God, he sure doesn't act like it.
I heard about the Yaphit thing.
Yeah, I spoke to Yaphit and calmed him down.
How did we not know about this? I'm gonna talk to John and try to get the full story.
But, Ed, I have a suggestion for you.
With Newton leaving, what about John? - For what? - Chief engineer.
[GAGS, COUGHS.]
- You okay? - Yeah.
Um wow, that's that's a hard sell.
Why? Look at the numbers.
Advanced engineering test scores at Union Point were off the charts.
Look, he's obviously brilliant, I'll give you that, but heading up a division is about more than just smarts.
He's never shown any indication of leadership ability.
He'd have to oversee a lot of personnel.
He's never had the chance.
He could surprise us.
Kelly, he fed a guy to another guy.
That's not something a department head does.
Come on, you know those two.
Odds are Gordon was the brain trust behind that stunt.
Oh, and John just went along with it? That only proves my point.
Look, all I'm saying is that maybe somewhere he's got it in him.
[THUNDEROUS CRASH, RUMBLING.]
ED: Report.
We've dropped out of quantum drive, Captain.
- What the hell just happened? - I have no idea.
Maybe we hit a squirrel or something.
There is no evidence of any Sciuromorpha Rodentia or other midsized rodent.
Captain, we appear to have skimmed the outer edge of a spatial anomaly of some variety.
Damage report? All departments reporting.
No injuries or hull damage.
However, the lower quantum engine has been knocked out of alignment.
Oh, great.
It looks like we're stuck here for a few hours.
Does the anomaly pose any danger to the ship? At our current coordinates, I do not believe so.
It's just a big old nasty pothole.
Well, we'd better map it so no one else gets banged around.
Isaac, get the engine realignment started, and then run a full-range scan of the anomaly.
Coordinate with Yaphit in engineering.
I believe an internal scan of the affected areas of the ship - would also be prudent.
- Do it.
Captain, with your permission, perhaps Lieutenant Lamarr could be of help.
I'm-I'm sorry, what? Lieutenant, please assist Isaac with his analysis.
Aye, Commander.
TY: Isaac! ISAAC: Hello, Ty.
Hello, Marcus.
We got out of school early because of the bumps.
You want to go to the simulator and play some Space Dragons? I am currently occupied.
What are you doing? I am preparing to run a scan on the section of the Orville that came into contact with the anomaly.
- Can we help? - No.
You are small and feeble.
And you do not possess the necessary intelligence.
Wow, why don't you just give 'em wedgies and stuff 'em in a locker while you're at it? Please, Isaac? Very well.
But do not interfere with our investigation.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what the hell is he doing here? Commander Grayson has assigned Lieutenant Lamarr to assist with the analysis.
Look, Yaphit, I-I'm sorry about what happened earlier.
You know, we were just messing around.
You know, it was a joke.
A joke? I spent an hour in Bortus' colon! - You think that's funny? - [LAUGHING.]
Oh, yeah, laugh it up, you brats.
Look, I promise it won't happen again.
Did you find anything here? Some crazy-weird readings.
I can't make sense of 'em.
Scans are detecting the presence of a quantum wake.
It doesn't look like anything's been disturbed.
I'm assuming nobody was in here.
Affirmative.
These quarters are currently unoccupied.
We will process the data through the central computer.
What happened to the plants? We are currently analyzing the scans of the quantum wake.
And there's no explanation for the dead plants? We're cross-referencing the bioscans of the plants with what we know about the anomaly, which, right now, isn't much.
They've been watered, right? Like, do we have a a plant guy? Palovis.
He's the lizard-looking guy - in the science section.
- Is that his name? God, I can never remember that guy's name.
I see him coming in the hall, and he's always like, "Hey, good morning, Captain.
" And I'm always like, "H-Hey, there he is.
" Yeah, Palovis.
Palovis.
All right.
Doctor, does this quantum wake pose any health hazard to the crew? A quantum disturbance isn't like radiation.
Shouldn't have any effect on living tissue.
But I must admit, the dead plants are a mystery.
How long until we can be underway? Engine realignment will be completed in two hours, 31 minutes.
Keep me posted.
Dismissed.
- [DOOR CHIMES.]
- Come in.
- Hi.
- Hey.
I was wondering if you had any thoughts about what we discussed.
As a matter of fact, I have.
Given what's happened, I think we need to fill the post right away.
So I'm promoting Yaphit.
Ed, before you make that decision, I'm asking you to please consider John.
Yaphit is next in line on the roster.
Besides, do you honestly think John would even want the job? I mean, he doesn't exactly seem that ambitious.
I have a suggestion.
We have a mystery on our hands with this anomaly.
Let me put John in charge of the analysis team.
Kelly, it's too If he's as smart as his record indicates, then he deserves a shot.
You really feel that strongly about this? I'm your first officer.
Part of my job is to help assemble the best possible staff on board this ship.
All right.
We'll give him a shot.
Hell, your instincts are usually good, so who knows? Hey, you wouldn't be sitting there if I Sorry, what? Nothing.
It was a joke.
Didn't sound like a joke.
Forget about it.
I'm gonna go tell John, get him started.
Kelly.
Did you say something to Admiral Halsey to get me this command? No, of course not.
Oh, my God, you did.
All I said was that I thought you deserved a chance.
You went to Admiral Halsey and you asked him to give me command of the Orville.
I put in a good word.
That's all I did.
To an admiral who just happened to be close to your father.
That had nothing to do with it.
Ed, I had spent a year feeling like a horrible person for cheating on you.
I also knew I was the reason that you went into your slump.
I wanted to help get you back on the right path.
I wanted to do something to help make things better for you.
Well, thank God for your help.
You would have gotten a command sooner or later, anyway.
I mean, you were top of your class at Union Point.
Oh, I'm sorry, didn't you just say that I wouldn't be sitting here if you hadn't gone to bat for me? I didn't mean to put it that way.
And besides, it isn't true.
Well, I guess we'll never know, huh? I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
So am I.
Look, I don't want you to mince words.
I don't want you to spare my feelings.
I just want to know the truth.
Commander Grayson did make a case for your promotion to captain.
And it never occurred to anyone that that might be the kind of thing that I deserve to know? Allocation of fleet personnel and how we arrive at those decisions is our business.
It was her choice to tell you.
Admiral, I'm just, I'm just having a little bit of a tough time reconciling this with my current position.
I mean, how the hell am I ever supposed to walk onto that bridge with confidence again? Ed, in the eyes of the admiralty, you've proven yourself worthy of that chair.
You have validated our trust in you.
There is no doubt in anyone's mind anymore.
Except mine.
[SIGHS.]
Hey, would anybody mind if I got a cat? - What? - A cat, for the bridge.
Like a bridge cat.
What is a cat? Oh, it's an Earth pet.
Little furry thing with whiskers.
Might warm the place up a little.
I think that'd be really great.
How would the presence of such a creature improve bridge operations? It's not about that.
Animals are just fun to have around.
It's unconditional love, you know? I do not.
Please, elaborate.
GORDON: It's just companionship.
You cuddle with it, stroke its fur.
Humans bond with animals that way.
Try it sometime.
It'll help you understand us.
[OVER COMM.]
: Grayson to Lieutenant Lamarr, report to my office.
Oh, great.
What did I do now? Good luck.
[FABRIC SWOOSHING.]
Are we bonding? [DOOR CHIMES.]
Come in.
Lieutenant.
Have a seat.
Explain this.
What do you want to know? Why you never told anyone.
It's in my file.
- Anyone can look it up.
- I know that.
But generally, when someone's as smart as you are, they make productive use of it.
Well, with all due respect, Commander, that's my business.
Lieutenant, have you ever studied the history of money? Not really.
I know people used to use it to buy houses - and sandwiches and stuff.
- Exactly.
It became obsolete with the invention of matter synthesis.
The predominant currency became reputation.
Yeah, so? My point is, human ambition didn't vanish.
The only thing that changed was how we quantify wealth.
People still want to be rich, only now rich means being the best at what you do.
Not everybody wants that.
Some people like to keep it simple.
Some people want to go to work, go home, drink a beer and pass out.
Are you one of those people? I am very fond of drinking beer and passing out, yes.
Look, Lieutenant, there's nothing wrong with a simple lifestyle.
I just want you to try using your gifts before you decide to leave them untapped.
I'm putting you in command of the science and engineering task force to investigate the anomaly.
[SIGHS.]
What is it? A small ship entering range, Captain.
If it continues on its present course, it will encounter the anomaly.
Put it on the viewer.
GORDON: Ugh.
Horbalak smugglers.
Hate those guys.
Alara, hail them.
You're on, sir.
Unidentified vessel, this is the USS Orville.
Please respond.
What do you want? Your course is about to take you directly into the path of a spatial anomaly we've discovered.
We recommend you change your heading immediately.
Grahj-kalooga.
Anybody speak Horbalak? The direct translation is, - "You can shove it up your" - Okay, got it, got it.
Do you wish to hear the rest of the translation? No, no, I-I get the gist.
Listen, what's your name? Blavaroch.
God, that generation has so many Blavarochs.
Blavaroch, I promise you, we're not out to confiscate whatever's in your cargo hold.
We just want you to change course for your own safety.
And maybe find a napkin.
I don't take orders from Union goons.
And my scanners don't show any anomaly.
Well, our scanners do.
Now change course.
Alara, get him back.
Trying, sir.
No response.
Sir, the Horbalak ship is approaching the anomaly.
No power signature from the Horbalak vessel.
Life signs? - None.
- Bortus, you have the conn.
Tell Kelly and Dr.
Finn to meet us in the shuttle bay.
Alara, you're with me.
Oh, my God.
ED: What have you got? It looks like extreme traumatic shock, leading to cardiac arrest.
The whole power grid is out, and that's not all.
Found this in the cargo hold.
Krill plasma rifles.
- About 20 crates.
- Oh, boy.
ALARA: You can bet whoever he stole them from is gonna be looking for them.
We're sitting on a Krill lightning rod.
We have to get that engine back on line fast.
- Ed, we need to talk.
- It'll have to wait.
I've got to finish my report for Union Central.
You can't ignore me forever.
I'm not ignoring you.
I'm just very busy.
I was only doing what I thought was right.
- I know that.
- Well, then talk to me.
Okay, you want to talk? Okay, let's talk about the fact that from now on, I am going to second-guess every command decision I make ever because I will never know whether I am truly the person who deserves to be making those decisions.
It doesn't have to be that way.
For God's sake, look at Gordon.
What? What about Gordon? How did he get this job? You fought for him.
Oh, wow, so now you're saying you had to fight for me.
[LAUGHING.]
: This just gets better and better, doesn't it? No.
Look, you told me today that you trust my instincts.
So trust me about you.
I believed in you.
And as I stand here today, so do the admirals.
Maybe they do now.
But who knows whether I would ever have had the chance to prove that without a handout from my ex-wife.
Hi, Captain.
H-Hey, there he is.
Yaphit, what are you doing here? I have a grievance.
How'd you get into my office? I'm gel.
Right.
Well, what's on your mind? I want to know why you guys put John in charge of the science team instead of me.
[SIGHS.]
Commander Grayson and I both feel that Lieutenant Lamarr deserves to be in the running for chief engineer.
What?! You got to be kidding me.
What the hell has that son of a bitch ever done to deserve No final decisions have been made, and I am aware that you're next in line for the job, but we have our reasons for considering him.
It's 'cause I'm gelatinous, isn't it? You guys can't handle the thought of a gelatinous person in charge of a department.
Yaphit, that is not it.
This is so racist, man, you're so friggin' racist.
I am not, I have several gelatinous friends.
This is a bunch of crap, man.
This is total crap.
Permission to return to duty.
Granted.
You know what? There was less crap in Bortus's colon.
[DOORS WHOOSH SHUT.]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS NEARBY.]
Hey, man.
Hey.
I just got off duty.
You want to go tie one on? I can't right now.
Why are you just standing out here? The science team's in there.
I got to go inside and be the boss.
Oh, dude, that sucks.
I'm not a commander.
I don't know anything about being in charge.
You know, when I was a teenager, I worked as a camp counselor one summer.
And when we wanted to break the ice with a new group of kids, we'd have this bowl of gumdrops, right? And each kid would take one.
But they didn't get to eat it until they'd told the group something interesting about themselves.
And-and that broke the ice? Every time.
Yeah, but these aren't kids.
Dude.
Do you like gumdrops? - I do.
- Exactly.
[CLAPS SHOULDER.]
Everybody likes gumdrops.
Okay, there you go.
Everybody get one.
That's it.
Yeah, you get there you go.
Everybody take one.
Okay.
Uh-huh.
Everybody got one? Okay, now you can't eat it until after you tell Hey! Damn it, what did I just say? - Sorry.
- I said don't eat it yet.
- It just looks really good.
- You know what? You go first.
Tell everybody something interesting about yourself.
I love refinishing antique furniture.
The texture, the grain.
It's like it has a life of its own.
Sometimes, I can't tell where I end and the wood begins.
Also a big brunch guy.
Banana walnut pancakes? Mouthgasm.
- This is stupid.
- What's stupid? This.
They put you in charge of the team, and you're dicking around like an amateur.
We should be analyzing the data from the anomaly, and you're playing duck, duck, goose.
You know what? He's right.
Give it back.
- Aww.
- Put it back.
Everybody, put it back.
You don't get a gumdrop.
Now get-get to work.
Everybody move.
Go go do something.
[SIGHS.]
Lieutenant, if I may make an observation, you seem ill-suited to perform your assigned duties.
Yeah, that's what I tried to tell Commander Grayson.
Then why did she place you in command? She says it's 'cause I'm smart.
I would be happy to inform her that you are not.
Hey, wait a minute.
- JOHN: Look at this.
- The quantum phasing signature of the anomaly does not conform to the universal constant.
Oh, my God.
It's not a pothole.
It's a doorway.
A doorway to where? We believe the anomaly is an aperture leading to a pocket of two-dimensional space.
Beg pardon? We all exist in three dimensions, right? Length, width, height.
But this area of space only exists in the first two, - length and width.
- Has anything like this - ever been discovered before? - Negative.
All right.
First.
- What happened to the Horbalak vessel? - ISAAC: When the vessel crossed through the anomaly, it momentarily phased from three dimensions into two.
No wonder that man died.
What do you mean? Living cells are made out of protein molecules, which have complex, three-dimensional geometries.
How they react with other molecules is precisely controlled by their shapes.
So if they get squeezed flat, and they don't expand into exactly the same shape as before, the proteins won't function properly.
Exactly.
And without working proteins, the cells die.
Then that's probably why the plants died, too.
Is there any way we can get a look inside the doorway? Maybe send a probe? MALE [OVER COMM.]
: Captain to the bridge.
Three Krill ships approaching.
Looks like our time just ran out.
How far are they? Estimated time to intercept: 31 minutes.
Isaac, how long until the engine realignment is complete? One hour, 16 minutes.
Oh, crap, we're in trouble.
Guys, I have a way the hell out there idea.
- What is it? - We can't go to quantum speed, but the field generator is still powered up.
We might be able to create a quantum bubble around the Orville.
- And? - And go through the doorway.
Wait, I'm sorry, didn't you just tell us that passing through that anomaly would be a death sentence? The quantum bubble could protect us from two-dimensional space.
We go inside, we hang out and wait until the Krill are gone.
- Isaac? - It is theoretically possible.
Sir, the Krill have increased speed.
Estimated time to intercept: 14 minutes.
All right, go.
Try it now.
Field stability is now at 68%.
[SIGHS.]
That's still not enough.
John, what if we couple the quantum phase inducers to the deflector grid? It might beef up the strength of the bubble.
How the hell is that supposed to hold? If we match the deflector amplitude to the quantum wave function, it should compensate for any field instability.
I like when you talk dirty.
All right, let's give it a shot.
Captain, the Krill vessels are closing.
Lamarr, what's happening? Commander, I think we're ready.
All right, fire it up.
Field strength at 95%.
That's close enough.
Bridge, initiating quantum bubble.
Ready on your order, Captain.
Take us into the anomaly.
Hold on to your asses.
No sign of the Krill ships, Captain.
I'm not surprised.
My God.
It's beautiful.
But how are we seeing it? Lieutenant Lamarr's quantum bubble has allowed us to maintain a stable third dimension outside of two-dimensional space.
What are all those energy pulses? ISAAC: I have no experience processing this kind of data, but I believe we may be looking at a two-dimensional civilization.
Two-dimensional life-forms? How is that possible? Is there any way we can communicate with them? Negative.
Our modes of existence are incompatible.
Then get every bit of scanning data you can.
Union physicists will be writing papers about this for decades.
Well, if we can't talk to them, at least we can watch.
GORDON: Wait, so, does that mean that there could be fourth-, or fifth-dimensional people watching us right now? - It is possible.
- But do you think I mean, they wouldn't, like watch us all the time, right? I do not know.
I mean, do you think, like, could they see under a blanket, or in the s-sleeve of a down coat? Gordon, I don't know what you're driving at, but I'm gonna go ahead and change the subject.
Isaac, - what's our status? - The anomaly is stable.
We can return to normal space on your order.
All right, we'll give it a few hours.
The Krill should be gone by then.
Hi.
Hey.
Can we talk? It's breathtaking, isn't it? Did you ever read Flatland? No.
It was a story written in the 1880s, about a two-dimensional society of shapes.
The more sides they had, the higher the social status.
The triangles were the workman class, the squares were the gentry, the circles were the most respected of all.
It was a metaphor for inequality.
I wonder what kind of world that is.
Listen.
Can I be honest with you? Of course.
I want you and I to be okay.
But you were being a prideful ass.
What, are we in a Jane Austen novel? I'm a "prideful ass"? Why? Because I want to be self-reliant? Because I want to feel like I got where I am alone? I don't know if your two-dimensional perception leaves any room for this concept, but nobody does anything alone.
We all have people who help us along the way.
Sometimes we know about it, sometimes we don't.
But it doesn't take a damn thing away from you.
So what is so horrible about speaking up? This is already the worst apology ever.
You know, the reason you are a good captain is that you are great at seeing all sides of a problem, except when it comes to yourself.
So, no, I am not sorry that I recommended you to Halsey because I get to work for a captain that I respect, and I get to see you every day.
Look.
I know what you did came from a good place.
I just have to work this out on my own.
Commander, I am reading a small fluctuation in the quantum bubble.
What is the cause? It appears the power flow to the [GRUNTING.]
Mercer to bridge.
Report! Captain, the quantum bubble is deteriorating.
We better hope the Krill are gone.
Gordon, return us to normal space.
Um, I can't do that, sir.
ED: Why not? The anomaly just closed up.
ISAAC: The disruption we experienced was due to inverse polarization of the quantum bubble.
Essentially, two-dimensional space is pulling us toward it.
That's why we got the nosebleeds.
That was very unpleasant.
We have about 21 minutes until the bubble collapses and we all get turned into pancakes.
Oh, you guys talking about pancakes? No, it's-it's something else.
All right, how do we get out of here? The engines were exposed to two-dimensional space.
They're dead.
There may be another way out, Captain.
Scanners have detected a quantum fluctuation 4,000 kilometers away that could be another aperture back to normal space.
Could be? There is no way to know.
Okay, let's say that's our only way out.
The engines are dead.
How do we get there? The ship's engines are dead, but the shuttles are still working.
We cannot all fit inside a shuttle.
No, but we could use the shuttle to tow the Orville out with a beefed-up tractor beam.
But, wouldn't that expose the shuttle to two-dimensional space? I think we could create a stable quantum bubble inside the shuttle, and preserve three-dimensional space.
So, the outside would be squashed, but the inside wouldn't.
More space inside than out, like Doctor Who's phone booth.
Or Oscar the Grouch's can.
Or Snoopy's doghouse, yeah.
The miracles of quantum physics.
Would this pose any danger to the two-dimensional life-forms? No, sir.
The cross section is so small that they will likely be unaware of our presence.
Who pilots the shuttle? Well, I would need to be there to keep the field intensity stable, and I'd need somebody to drive.
I volunteer.
No.
I'll go.
Ed, wait.
If that field collapses Kelly, I need to do this.
John, meet me in the shuttle bay.
[INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT OVER SPEAKERS.]
[BEEP, WHIRRING.]
So, how's the field generator? Operating at maximum efficiency.
Hey, um I just wanted to see if you guys needed any help.
Yeah, um, can you check the power relays? Oh, will do.
Yeah, try not to screw that up, too.
FEMALE ENGINEER: Yeah, no kidding.
What'd you guys just say? Come on, man.
It was Yaphit's half-cocked idea that got us into this.
Now, you listen to me, and you listen good.
Yaphit's a member of our team, and you're gonna treat him that way.
He had an idea and I thought it was a good one.
I made the decision to go with it.
So if you want to blame somebody, you blame me.
It's my fault! And now, maybe people will believe me when I say I am not a commander! Now get back to work.
Bridge to shuttle bay.
All systems secure for departure.
Going to red alert.
ED: Acknowledged.
We'll see you on the other side.
Initiating quantum bubble.
All right.
Let's do this.
Let's get flat.
Sorry.
It's gonna be a little jarring when we pass through the quantum field and make the transition to two-dimensional space.
You might get nauseous.
Don't worry, I'll be fine.
[JOHN RETCHING.]
You okay? You all right? No, I'm-I'm good.
I'm good.
Want to, like, crack a window or something, maybe? [RETCHING CONTINUES.]
Yeah.
I'm good.
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
Initiating spatial conduit.
They have made the transition.
Spatial conduit initialized.
Activating tractor beam.
Here we go.
Field stable.
Everything seems A-OK.
Hey, um you did good today.
Thanks, Captain.
Excuse my bluntness, but why do you hide your brains? The colony where I'm from was brand-new, lot of farmers, lot of builders.
They didn't trust anyone who was too much of an egghead.
You'd be surprised how fast you can alienate people when you're always right.
I wanted to be liked, accepted.
Just became habit, I guess.
If we get out of this I want you to be my new chief engineer.
Are you really sure about that? Kelly was right about you.
She was right about a lot of things.
[LOUD BANG.]
[GRUNTING.]
Commander, the quantum field is destabilizing.
How far are we from the aperture? 3,000 kilometers.
[GRUNTS.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
What's the field status? The field's collapsing.
I'm gonna take us to quantum speed.
What? Sir, that could collapse the entire bubble.
If I don't, we're not gonna make it.
I'm not gonna be able to keep the field stable.
You're a smart guy, I trust you.
Here we go.
ALARA: We made it.
Lieutenant, what's our position? 3-4-8, mark 9-1-4.
Not too far from where we were.
Alara, hail the shuttle.
Bridge to shuttle, do you read? Shuttle to bridge.
We're okay.
How's the ship? All in one piece.
Uh you may want to get a cleaning crew in here when we get back to the bay.
Will do.
We'll see you guys soon.
[DOOR CHIMES.]
Come in.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
Look.
This command means everything to me.
I try to act like it's just a job, but it's not.
I know that.
You forget, nobody knows you better than me.
That's why I did what I did.
[SIGHS, CHUCKLES.]
I behaved like a whiny little bitch when the fact is, I should've just said thank you.
You helped put me where I belong.
And, if I ever doubt my fitness to be captain again, I'll remind myself who's got my back.
It's not the feather, Dumbo.
It's you.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
Okay, everybody, listen up.
There's a new boss in town, and his name is Lieutenant Commander John Lamarr.
- You guys ready to step it up? - ALL: Yes, sir.
Okay, boom.
Now, if we can increase engine efficiency to 97% by the end of the workweek, we can all take off early and get wasted.
- Sound good? - ALL: Yes, sir.
All right, well, don't just stand there; snap to it.
Captioned by Media Access
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
KELLY: Well, I hope you like our little send-off.
Yeah, we're gonna miss you, Commander.
I'm gonna miss you guys.
Believe me, I wouldn't be leaving if it wasn't such a sweet offer.
Yeah, I guess it's not every day you get to help design a space station.
- Are you nervous? - A little.
But, hey, as long as I can sneak a pop or two on the job.
Glug, glug, glug.
Nah.
Can you imagine? Ah - Think he knows yet? - No.
Look at him.
He has no idea.
JOHN: How the hell can he not know? What are you guys talking about? We took a piece of Yaphit when he wasn't looking, and we dropped it in the buffet.
[GASPS.]
Oh, my God, no, you didn't! JOHN: Yeah, we're just waiting for him to catch on.
[LAUGHS.]
You guys are so hilarious.
Ah, I wish I had the guts to pull pranks.
I always think of super outrageous stuff, and I never follow through.
[CHUCKLES.]
You guys should get to know me better 'cause I'm really funny.
Oh, check it out, he's leaving.
Oh, I love jokes.
Hey, Doc.
[QUIETLY.]
: Oh, God, the last person I want to see right now.
Yaphit, I'm very busy this better not be a social visit.
No, it's not.
I don't feel well.
What's wrong? I think I lost a piece.
Uh, excuse me? I feel like I'm missing a piece, and I can't for the life of me figure out where I lost it.
Well, okay, hop up on the table, let's have a look.
[SCANNER TRILLING.]
I'm not quite sure how to ask this, but when your species loses a piece of tissue, is it conscious? Kind of.
I have a dim sense of a dark, wet place.
I-I just can't get any more specific than that.
Bortus, what can I do for you? I am experiencing digestive discomfort.
With your iron stomach? Okay Have a seat.
Um, Yaphit? - Yeah? - I think I found your piece.
Wh-What do you mean? - Inside Bortus' digestive tract.
- What?! What the hell, man, you friggin' ate me? I did not eat you.
Well, what the hell am I doing inside you, you bastard? Bortus, have you eaten anything in the past hour? Only a slice of prawgus cake at the buffet.
Yaphit, did you go near the prawgus cake at all? Oh, crap.
Yeah.
With John and Gordon, those dicks.
Mystery solved.
Aw, man, I don't believe it.
Ah, okay, how you want to do this? Do what? I gotta go in and get the piece.
What do you mean, "go in"? I mean go in.
I gotta go in.
- Pick an entry.
- I will not allow you inside me.
Doc, help me out here.
Bortus, I'm sorry.
He can do it cleaner than I can.
[SIGHS.]
Do what you must.
Open your mouth.
YAPHIT: All right, come on.
Where are you, fella? Aw, dude, it stinks down here.
What the hell you been eating? What is that, a is that a boot?! Ah, there we go.
Jackpot.
CLAIRE: Great.
Now, if you two wouldn't mind leaving, this is more weirdness than I can handle in one day.
At any point, did you consider the possibility that what you were doing was stupid? BOTH [SLOWLY.]
: No.
No.
- I didn't, no.
- Not that I remember.
Did it occur to you that Yaphit might be upset? - Yes.
- No.
At the time, it did not seem a matter of consequence.
Honestly, we just thought it would be funny.
Well, I hope you got a good laugh, because if I can't talk him out of filing charges, you guys are gonna be in trouble.
Yes, sir.
I'm placing a formal reprimand on each of your records.
Dismissed.
[DOOR WHOOSHES OPEN.]
[DOOR WHOOSHES SHUT.]
You got to be kidding me.
[DOOR CHIMES.]
Come in.
Hey.
Take a look at this.
- Is this accurate? - I confirmed it with the Union Central database just to be sure.
Ed, that aptitude rating is through the roof.
Aside from Isaac, John is the smartest officer on board.
My God, he sure doesn't act like it.
I heard about the Yaphit thing.
Yeah, I spoke to Yaphit and calmed him down.
How did we not know about this? I'm gonna talk to John and try to get the full story.
But, Ed, I have a suggestion for you.
With Newton leaving, what about John? - For what? - Chief engineer.
[GAGS, COUGHS.]
- You okay? - Yeah.
Um wow, that's that's a hard sell.
Why? Look at the numbers.
Advanced engineering test scores at Union Point were off the charts.
Look, he's obviously brilliant, I'll give you that, but heading up a division is about more than just smarts.
He's never shown any indication of leadership ability.
He'd have to oversee a lot of personnel.
He's never had the chance.
He could surprise us.
Kelly, he fed a guy to another guy.
That's not something a department head does.
Come on, you know those two.
Odds are Gordon was the brain trust behind that stunt.
Oh, and John just went along with it? That only proves my point.
Look, all I'm saying is that maybe somewhere he's got it in him.
[THUNDEROUS CRASH, RUMBLING.]
ED: Report.
We've dropped out of quantum drive, Captain.
- What the hell just happened? - I have no idea.
Maybe we hit a squirrel or something.
There is no evidence of any Sciuromorpha Rodentia or other midsized rodent.
Captain, we appear to have skimmed the outer edge of a spatial anomaly of some variety.
Damage report? All departments reporting.
No injuries or hull damage.
However, the lower quantum engine has been knocked out of alignment.
Oh, great.
It looks like we're stuck here for a few hours.
Does the anomaly pose any danger to the ship? At our current coordinates, I do not believe so.
It's just a big old nasty pothole.
Well, we'd better map it so no one else gets banged around.
Isaac, get the engine realignment started, and then run a full-range scan of the anomaly.
Coordinate with Yaphit in engineering.
I believe an internal scan of the affected areas of the ship - would also be prudent.
- Do it.
Captain, with your permission, perhaps Lieutenant Lamarr could be of help.
I'm-I'm sorry, what? Lieutenant, please assist Isaac with his analysis.
Aye, Commander.
TY: Isaac! ISAAC: Hello, Ty.
Hello, Marcus.
We got out of school early because of the bumps.
You want to go to the simulator and play some Space Dragons? I am currently occupied.
What are you doing? I am preparing to run a scan on the section of the Orville that came into contact with the anomaly.
- Can we help? - No.
You are small and feeble.
And you do not possess the necessary intelligence.
Wow, why don't you just give 'em wedgies and stuff 'em in a locker while you're at it? Please, Isaac? Very well.
But do not interfere with our investigation.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what the hell is he doing here? Commander Grayson has assigned Lieutenant Lamarr to assist with the analysis.
Look, Yaphit, I-I'm sorry about what happened earlier.
You know, we were just messing around.
You know, it was a joke.
A joke? I spent an hour in Bortus' colon! - You think that's funny? - [LAUGHING.]
Oh, yeah, laugh it up, you brats.
Look, I promise it won't happen again.
Did you find anything here? Some crazy-weird readings.
I can't make sense of 'em.
Scans are detecting the presence of a quantum wake.
It doesn't look like anything's been disturbed.
I'm assuming nobody was in here.
Affirmative.
These quarters are currently unoccupied.
We will process the data through the central computer.
What happened to the plants? We are currently analyzing the scans of the quantum wake.
And there's no explanation for the dead plants? We're cross-referencing the bioscans of the plants with what we know about the anomaly, which, right now, isn't much.
They've been watered, right? Like, do we have a a plant guy? Palovis.
He's the lizard-looking guy - in the science section.
- Is that his name? God, I can never remember that guy's name.
I see him coming in the hall, and he's always like, "Hey, good morning, Captain.
" And I'm always like, "H-Hey, there he is.
" Yeah, Palovis.
Palovis.
All right.
Doctor, does this quantum wake pose any health hazard to the crew? A quantum disturbance isn't like radiation.
Shouldn't have any effect on living tissue.
But I must admit, the dead plants are a mystery.
How long until we can be underway? Engine realignment will be completed in two hours, 31 minutes.
Keep me posted.
Dismissed.
- [DOOR CHIMES.]
- Come in.
- Hi.
- Hey.
I was wondering if you had any thoughts about what we discussed.
As a matter of fact, I have.
Given what's happened, I think we need to fill the post right away.
So I'm promoting Yaphit.
Ed, before you make that decision, I'm asking you to please consider John.
Yaphit is next in line on the roster.
Besides, do you honestly think John would even want the job? I mean, he doesn't exactly seem that ambitious.
I have a suggestion.
We have a mystery on our hands with this anomaly.
Let me put John in charge of the analysis team.
Kelly, it's too If he's as smart as his record indicates, then he deserves a shot.
You really feel that strongly about this? I'm your first officer.
Part of my job is to help assemble the best possible staff on board this ship.
All right.
We'll give him a shot.
Hell, your instincts are usually good, so who knows? Hey, you wouldn't be sitting there if I Sorry, what? Nothing.
It was a joke.
Didn't sound like a joke.
Forget about it.
I'm gonna go tell John, get him started.
Kelly.
Did you say something to Admiral Halsey to get me this command? No, of course not.
Oh, my God, you did.
All I said was that I thought you deserved a chance.
You went to Admiral Halsey and you asked him to give me command of the Orville.
I put in a good word.
That's all I did.
To an admiral who just happened to be close to your father.
That had nothing to do with it.
Ed, I had spent a year feeling like a horrible person for cheating on you.
I also knew I was the reason that you went into your slump.
I wanted to help get you back on the right path.
I wanted to do something to help make things better for you.
Well, thank God for your help.
You would have gotten a command sooner or later, anyway.
I mean, you were top of your class at Union Point.
Oh, I'm sorry, didn't you just say that I wouldn't be sitting here if you hadn't gone to bat for me? I didn't mean to put it that way.
And besides, it isn't true.
Well, I guess we'll never know, huh? I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
So am I.
Look, I don't want you to mince words.
I don't want you to spare my feelings.
I just want to know the truth.
Commander Grayson did make a case for your promotion to captain.
And it never occurred to anyone that that might be the kind of thing that I deserve to know? Allocation of fleet personnel and how we arrive at those decisions is our business.
It was her choice to tell you.
Admiral, I'm just, I'm just having a little bit of a tough time reconciling this with my current position.
I mean, how the hell am I ever supposed to walk onto that bridge with confidence again? Ed, in the eyes of the admiralty, you've proven yourself worthy of that chair.
You have validated our trust in you.
There is no doubt in anyone's mind anymore.
Except mine.
[SIGHS.]
Hey, would anybody mind if I got a cat? - What? - A cat, for the bridge.
Like a bridge cat.
What is a cat? Oh, it's an Earth pet.
Little furry thing with whiskers.
Might warm the place up a little.
I think that'd be really great.
How would the presence of such a creature improve bridge operations? It's not about that.
Animals are just fun to have around.
It's unconditional love, you know? I do not.
Please, elaborate.
GORDON: It's just companionship.
You cuddle with it, stroke its fur.
Humans bond with animals that way.
Try it sometime.
It'll help you understand us.
[OVER COMM.]
: Grayson to Lieutenant Lamarr, report to my office.
Oh, great.
What did I do now? Good luck.
[FABRIC SWOOSHING.]
Are we bonding? [DOOR CHIMES.]
Come in.
Lieutenant.
Have a seat.
Explain this.
What do you want to know? Why you never told anyone.
It's in my file.
- Anyone can look it up.
- I know that.
But generally, when someone's as smart as you are, they make productive use of it.
Well, with all due respect, Commander, that's my business.
Lieutenant, have you ever studied the history of money? Not really.
I know people used to use it to buy houses - and sandwiches and stuff.
- Exactly.
It became obsolete with the invention of matter synthesis.
The predominant currency became reputation.
Yeah, so? My point is, human ambition didn't vanish.
The only thing that changed was how we quantify wealth.
People still want to be rich, only now rich means being the best at what you do.
Not everybody wants that.
Some people like to keep it simple.
Some people want to go to work, go home, drink a beer and pass out.
Are you one of those people? I am very fond of drinking beer and passing out, yes.
Look, Lieutenant, there's nothing wrong with a simple lifestyle.
I just want you to try using your gifts before you decide to leave them untapped.
I'm putting you in command of the science and engineering task force to investigate the anomaly.
[SIGHS.]
What is it? A small ship entering range, Captain.
If it continues on its present course, it will encounter the anomaly.
Put it on the viewer.
GORDON: Ugh.
Horbalak smugglers.
Hate those guys.
Alara, hail them.
You're on, sir.
Unidentified vessel, this is the USS Orville.
Please respond.
What do you want? Your course is about to take you directly into the path of a spatial anomaly we've discovered.
We recommend you change your heading immediately.
Grahj-kalooga.
Anybody speak Horbalak? The direct translation is, - "You can shove it up your" - Okay, got it, got it.
Do you wish to hear the rest of the translation? No, no, I-I get the gist.
Listen, what's your name? Blavaroch.
God, that generation has so many Blavarochs.
Blavaroch, I promise you, we're not out to confiscate whatever's in your cargo hold.
We just want you to change course for your own safety.
And maybe find a napkin.
I don't take orders from Union goons.
And my scanners don't show any anomaly.
Well, our scanners do.
Now change course.
Alara, get him back.
Trying, sir.
No response.
Sir, the Horbalak ship is approaching the anomaly.
No power signature from the Horbalak vessel.
Life signs? - None.
- Bortus, you have the conn.
Tell Kelly and Dr.
Finn to meet us in the shuttle bay.
Alara, you're with me.
Oh, my God.
ED: What have you got? It looks like extreme traumatic shock, leading to cardiac arrest.
The whole power grid is out, and that's not all.
Found this in the cargo hold.
Krill plasma rifles.
- About 20 crates.
- Oh, boy.
ALARA: You can bet whoever he stole them from is gonna be looking for them.
We're sitting on a Krill lightning rod.
We have to get that engine back on line fast.
- Ed, we need to talk.
- It'll have to wait.
I've got to finish my report for Union Central.
You can't ignore me forever.
I'm not ignoring you.
I'm just very busy.
I was only doing what I thought was right.
- I know that.
- Well, then talk to me.
Okay, you want to talk? Okay, let's talk about the fact that from now on, I am going to second-guess every command decision I make ever because I will never know whether I am truly the person who deserves to be making those decisions.
It doesn't have to be that way.
For God's sake, look at Gordon.
What? What about Gordon? How did he get this job? You fought for him.
Oh, wow, so now you're saying you had to fight for me.
[LAUGHING.]
: This just gets better and better, doesn't it? No.
Look, you told me today that you trust my instincts.
So trust me about you.
I believed in you.
And as I stand here today, so do the admirals.
Maybe they do now.
But who knows whether I would ever have had the chance to prove that without a handout from my ex-wife.
Hi, Captain.
H-Hey, there he is.
Yaphit, what are you doing here? I have a grievance.
How'd you get into my office? I'm gel.
Right.
Well, what's on your mind? I want to know why you guys put John in charge of the science team instead of me.
[SIGHS.]
Commander Grayson and I both feel that Lieutenant Lamarr deserves to be in the running for chief engineer.
What?! You got to be kidding me.
What the hell has that son of a bitch ever done to deserve No final decisions have been made, and I am aware that you're next in line for the job, but we have our reasons for considering him.
It's 'cause I'm gelatinous, isn't it? You guys can't handle the thought of a gelatinous person in charge of a department.
Yaphit, that is not it.
This is so racist, man, you're so friggin' racist.
I am not, I have several gelatinous friends.
This is a bunch of crap, man.
This is total crap.
Permission to return to duty.
Granted.
You know what? There was less crap in Bortus's colon.
[DOORS WHOOSH SHUT.]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS NEARBY.]
Hey, man.
Hey.
I just got off duty.
You want to go tie one on? I can't right now.
Why are you just standing out here? The science team's in there.
I got to go inside and be the boss.
Oh, dude, that sucks.
I'm not a commander.
I don't know anything about being in charge.
You know, when I was a teenager, I worked as a camp counselor one summer.
And when we wanted to break the ice with a new group of kids, we'd have this bowl of gumdrops, right? And each kid would take one.
But they didn't get to eat it until they'd told the group something interesting about themselves.
And-and that broke the ice? Every time.
Yeah, but these aren't kids.
Dude.
Do you like gumdrops? - I do.
- Exactly.
[CLAPS SHOULDER.]
Everybody likes gumdrops.
Okay, there you go.
Everybody get one.
That's it.
Yeah, you get there you go.
Everybody take one.
Okay.
Uh-huh.
Everybody got one? Okay, now you can't eat it until after you tell Hey! Damn it, what did I just say? - Sorry.
- I said don't eat it yet.
- It just looks really good.
- You know what? You go first.
Tell everybody something interesting about yourself.
I love refinishing antique furniture.
The texture, the grain.
It's like it has a life of its own.
Sometimes, I can't tell where I end and the wood begins.
Also a big brunch guy.
Banana walnut pancakes? Mouthgasm.
- This is stupid.
- What's stupid? This.
They put you in charge of the team, and you're dicking around like an amateur.
We should be analyzing the data from the anomaly, and you're playing duck, duck, goose.
You know what? He's right.
Give it back.
- Aww.
- Put it back.
Everybody, put it back.
You don't get a gumdrop.
Now get-get to work.
Everybody move.
Go go do something.
[SIGHS.]
Lieutenant, if I may make an observation, you seem ill-suited to perform your assigned duties.
Yeah, that's what I tried to tell Commander Grayson.
Then why did she place you in command? She says it's 'cause I'm smart.
I would be happy to inform her that you are not.
Hey, wait a minute.
- JOHN: Look at this.
- The quantum phasing signature of the anomaly does not conform to the universal constant.
Oh, my God.
It's not a pothole.
It's a doorway.
A doorway to where? We believe the anomaly is an aperture leading to a pocket of two-dimensional space.
Beg pardon? We all exist in three dimensions, right? Length, width, height.
But this area of space only exists in the first two, - length and width.
- Has anything like this - ever been discovered before? - Negative.
All right.
First.
- What happened to the Horbalak vessel? - ISAAC: When the vessel crossed through the anomaly, it momentarily phased from three dimensions into two.
No wonder that man died.
What do you mean? Living cells are made out of protein molecules, which have complex, three-dimensional geometries.
How they react with other molecules is precisely controlled by their shapes.
So if they get squeezed flat, and they don't expand into exactly the same shape as before, the proteins won't function properly.
Exactly.
And without working proteins, the cells die.
Then that's probably why the plants died, too.
Is there any way we can get a look inside the doorway? Maybe send a probe? MALE [OVER COMM.]
: Captain to the bridge.
Three Krill ships approaching.
Looks like our time just ran out.
How far are they? Estimated time to intercept: 31 minutes.
Isaac, how long until the engine realignment is complete? One hour, 16 minutes.
Oh, crap, we're in trouble.
Guys, I have a way the hell out there idea.
- What is it? - We can't go to quantum speed, but the field generator is still powered up.
We might be able to create a quantum bubble around the Orville.
- And? - And go through the doorway.
Wait, I'm sorry, didn't you just tell us that passing through that anomaly would be a death sentence? The quantum bubble could protect us from two-dimensional space.
We go inside, we hang out and wait until the Krill are gone.
- Isaac? - It is theoretically possible.
Sir, the Krill have increased speed.
Estimated time to intercept: 14 minutes.
All right, go.
Try it now.
Field stability is now at 68%.
[SIGHS.]
That's still not enough.
John, what if we couple the quantum phase inducers to the deflector grid? It might beef up the strength of the bubble.
How the hell is that supposed to hold? If we match the deflector amplitude to the quantum wave function, it should compensate for any field instability.
I like when you talk dirty.
All right, let's give it a shot.
Captain, the Krill vessels are closing.
Lamarr, what's happening? Commander, I think we're ready.
All right, fire it up.
Field strength at 95%.
That's close enough.
Bridge, initiating quantum bubble.
Ready on your order, Captain.
Take us into the anomaly.
Hold on to your asses.
No sign of the Krill ships, Captain.
I'm not surprised.
My God.
It's beautiful.
But how are we seeing it? Lieutenant Lamarr's quantum bubble has allowed us to maintain a stable third dimension outside of two-dimensional space.
What are all those energy pulses? ISAAC: I have no experience processing this kind of data, but I believe we may be looking at a two-dimensional civilization.
Two-dimensional life-forms? How is that possible? Is there any way we can communicate with them? Negative.
Our modes of existence are incompatible.
Then get every bit of scanning data you can.
Union physicists will be writing papers about this for decades.
Well, if we can't talk to them, at least we can watch.
GORDON: Wait, so, does that mean that there could be fourth-, or fifth-dimensional people watching us right now? - It is possible.
- But do you think I mean, they wouldn't, like watch us all the time, right? I do not know.
I mean, do you think, like, could they see under a blanket, or in the s-sleeve of a down coat? Gordon, I don't know what you're driving at, but I'm gonna go ahead and change the subject.
Isaac, - what's our status? - The anomaly is stable.
We can return to normal space on your order.
All right, we'll give it a few hours.
The Krill should be gone by then.
Hi.
Hey.
Can we talk? It's breathtaking, isn't it? Did you ever read Flatland? No.
It was a story written in the 1880s, about a two-dimensional society of shapes.
The more sides they had, the higher the social status.
The triangles were the workman class, the squares were the gentry, the circles were the most respected of all.
It was a metaphor for inequality.
I wonder what kind of world that is.
Listen.
Can I be honest with you? Of course.
I want you and I to be okay.
But you were being a prideful ass.
What, are we in a Jane Austen novel? I'm a "prideful ass"? Why? Because I want to be self-reliant? Because I want to feel like I got where I am alone? I don't know if your two-dimensional perception leaves any room for this concept, but nobody does anything alone.
We all have people who help us along the way.
Sometimes we know about it, sometimes we don't.
But it doesn't take a damn thing away from you.
So what is so horrible about speaking up? This is already the worst apology ever.
You know, the reason you are a good captain is that you are great at seeing all sides of a problem, except when it comes to yourself.
So, no, I am not sorry that I recommended you to Halsey because I get to work for a captain that I respect, and I get to see you every day.
Look.
I know what you did came from a good place.
I just have to work this out on my own.
Commander, I am reading a small fluctuation in the quantum bubble.
What is the cause? It appears the power flow to the [GRUNTING.]
Mercer to bridge.
Report! Captain, the quantum bubble is deteriorating.
We better hope the Krill are gone.
Gordon, return us to normal space.
Um, I can't do that, sir.
ED: Why not? The anomaly just closed up.
ISAAC: The disruption we experienced was due to inverse polarization of the quantum bubble.
Essentially, two-dimensional space is pulling us toward it.
That's why we got the nosebleeds.
That was very unpleasant.
We have about 21 minutes until the bubble collapses and we all get turned into pancakes.
Oh, you guys talking about pancakes? No, it's-it's something else.
All right, how do we get out of here? The engines were exposed to two-dimensional space.
They're dead.
There may be another way out, Captain.
Scanners have detected a quantum fluctuation 4,000 kilometers away that could be another aperture back to normal space.
Could be? There is no way to know.
Okay, let's say that's our only way out.
The engines are dead.
How do we get there? The ship's engines are dead, but the shuttles are still working.
We cannot all fit inside a shuttle.
No, but we could use the shuttle to tow the Orville out with a beefed-up tractor beam.
But, wouldn't that expose the shuttle to two-dimensional space? I think we could create a stable quantum bubble inside the shuttle, and preserve three-dimensional space.
So, the outside would be squashed, but the inside wouldn't.
More space inside than out, like Doctor Who's phone booth.
Or Oscar the Grouch's can.
Or Snoopy's doghouse, yeah.
The miracles of quantum physics.
Would this pose any danger to the two-dimensional life-forms? No, sir.
The cross section is so small that they will likely be unaware of our presence.
Who pilots the shuttle? Well, I would need to be there to keep the field intensity stable, and I'd need somebody to drive.
I volunteer.
No.
I'll go.
Ed, wait.
If that field collapses Kelly, I need to do this.
John, meet me in the shuttle bay.
[INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT OVER SPEAKERS.]
[BEEP, WHIRRING.]
So, how's the field generator? Operating at maximum efficiency.
Hey, um I just wanted to see if you guys needed any help.
Yeah, um, can you check the power relays? Oh, will do.
Yeah, try not to screw that up, too.
FEMALE ENGINEER: Yeah, no kidding.
What'd you guys just say? Come on, man.
It was Yaphit's half-cocked idea that got us into this.
Now, you listen to me, and you listen good.
Yaphit's a member of our team, and you're gonna treat him that way.
He had an idea and I thought it was a good one.
I made the decision to go with it.
So if you want to blame somebody, you blame me.
It's my fault! And now, maybe people will believe me when I say I am not a commander! Now get back to work.
Bridge to shuttle bay.
All systems secure for departure.
Going to red alert.
ED: Acknowledged.
We'll see you on the other side.
Initiating quantum bubble.
All right.
Let's do this.
Let's get flat.
Sorry.
It's gonna be a little jarring when we pass through the quantum field and make the transition to two-dimensional space.
You might get nauseous.
Don't worry, I'll be fine.
[JOHN RETCHING.]
You okay? You all right? No, I'm-I'm good.
I'm good.
Want to, like, crack a window or something, maybe? [RETCHING CONTINUES.]
Yeah.
I'm good.
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
Initiating spatial conduit.
They have made the transition.
Spatial conduit initialized.
Activating tractor beam.
Here we go.
Field stable.
Everything seems A-OK.
Hey, um you did good today.
Thanks, Captain.
Excuse my bluntness, but why do you hide your brains? The colony where I'm from was brand-new, lot of farmers, lot of builders.
They didn't trust anyone who was too much of an egghead.
You'd be surprised how fast you can alienate people when you're always right.
I wanted to be liked, accepted.
Just became habit, I guess.
If we get out of this I want you to be my new chief engineer.
Are you really sure about that? Kelly was right about you.
She was right about a lot of things.
[LOUD BANG.]
[GRUNTING.]
Commander, the quantum field is destabilizing.
How far are we from the aperture? 3,000 kilometers.
[GRUNTS.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
What's the field status? The field's collapsing.
I'm gonna take us to quantum speed.
What? Sir, that could collapse the entire bubble.
If I don't, we're not gonna make it.
I'm not gonna be able to keep the field stable.
You're a smart guy, I trust you.
Here we go.
ALARA: We made it.
Lieutenant, what's our position? 3-4-8, mark 9-1-4.
Not too far from where we were.
Alara, hail the shuttle.
Bridge to shuttle, do you read? Shuttle to bridge.
We're okay.
How's the ship? All in one piece.
Uh you may want to get a cleaning crew in here when we get back to the bay.
Will do.
We'll see you guys soon.
[DOOR CHIMES.]
Come in.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
Look.
This command means everything to me.
I try to act like it's just a job, but it's not.
I know that.
You forget, nobody knows you better than me.
That's why I did what I did.
[SIGHS, CHUCKLES.]
I behaved like a whiny little bitch when the fact is, I should've just said thank you.
You helped put me where I belong.
And, if I ever doubt my fitness to be captain again, I'll remind myself who's got my back.
It's not the feather, Dumbo.
It's you.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
Okay, everybody, listen up.
There's a new boss in town, and his name is Lieutenant Commander John Lamarr.
- You guys ready to step it up? - ALL: Yes, sir.
Okay, boom.
Now, if we can increase engine efficiency to 97% by the end of the workweek, we can all take off early and get wasted.
- Sound good? - ALL: Yes, sir.
All right, well, don't just stand there; snap to it.
Captioned by Media Access