The Owl House (2020) s01e11 Episode Script

1 [King.]
Partake of my free snack samples.
Take them.
I demand it as your ruler, the King of Demons.
[grunts.]
Why isn't anyone paying attention to me? I'm their rightful overlord.
Intellectually and such.
Yeah.
- Hey! - [grunts.]
[sniffs.]
It reeks more of nerd than money today.
Guys! [grunts.]
You will not believe what's going on.
It's a bookfair! Where books come to life.
- Hello.
- [grunts.]
A fair without rides? Who need rides when this can take you anywhere? [grunts.]
[screams.]
A, ew.
B, I'm bored.
C, I feel like pickpocketing some dork while they browse.
No, wait.
Will you give it a chance? I'll let you ride in my hoody.
[chuckling.]
Ooh! This bookfair's got everything.
A zine-making workshop.
Meet and greets.
And what's that [gasps.]
A writing competition? I've always wanted to be a writer.
Writer? What? I thought you wanted to be a witch? Of course I wanna be a witch.
But where I'm from that's kinda impossible.
So, my runner up dream was to be a writer.
I've had this "About the Author" picture since I was seven years old.
I know my good angle.
I'm gonna enter the competition.
- [laughing.]
- [grunts.]
Ugh.
What are these basement dwellers doing out in natural sunlight? Um, we're in line for John De Plume, most famous writer on the Boiling Isles.
Famed author of the Realm Warrior Series.
I'm gonna have him read my story.
And marry me.
John, will you sign my child? I'll sign anything.
[laughs.]
Such power.
Such command he holds over his minions.
I must have the same.
Luz the human, I too shall enter the competition.
Really? [gasps.]
We could work together.
It'll be perfect.
We're best friends, so we'll make the best team.
Team! Yes! My name goes first on the cover.
[theme music playing.]
[chattering, snorting.]
Boring, boring.
[groans.]
Boring.
[gasps.]
[gasps.]
Another wrinkle.
The curse is quickening.
[Lilith.]
You! Lackey.
Lilith.
Do you have the item we discussed? Oh, yes.
Right here.
This is excellent.
A map to the Bloom of Eternal Youth.
I think the emperor will be very pleased.
Ma'am shouldn't we be searching for the owl lady to join the coven? Remember that whole plan? [grunts.]
My sister's curse has left her frail.
She'll still be here when we get back.
[grunts.]
This come first.
It's for the emperor after all.
Yeah! All hail the emperor! Very good, Steve.
Shoulder pads for Steve.
Hey, bub, what'd you tell my prissy sister? Oh, it's a map to the Bloom of Eternal Youth.
A rare flower that only grows once a millennia.
Like the name says, it gives eternal youth to whomever holds it.
Interesting.
So, Lilith wants to nab this power for the emperor, huh? Well, won't she be surprised when I get there first and get it for myself.
Ha! That'll show her who's frail.
Yes.
Well, uh.
We'll see, won't we? Can't go without a map, of course.
Now, let's write down some ideas that we wanna see in the story.
I can write anything? [Luz.]
Yeah, we're brainstorming.
Every idea is a good idea.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Done.
Aw.
Is that all you wanna see? Hmm.
[Luz.]
Romance.
Magic.
Heartbreak with shimmer tears.
And the main character is, of course [hums.]
Luzura.
I know it's kinda cliché but what's wrong with cliché? [grunts.]
And my main character's the king Er The ruler of demons.
With this totally original, all-star cast, victory will be ours.
[clanking.]
Now, for the easy part.
[cheerful music playing.]
[cheerful music continues.]
[keys clacking.]
Luzura's tears fell on the Frozen Prince bringing him back to life.
Uh, it feels a little unrealistic.
I see what you're saying.
But in your version, Ruler just destroys everything.
I think a little romantic tension could help the scene.
Hey.
There's more to life than shipping.
Don't you dare insult shipping in my presence.
[Eda.]
Apprentice, living room.
I'll be back.
We'll figure this out.
Okay, writing buddy? My turn to write.
[Luz.]
Hey.
What's up, boss lady? I am popping out for a few days to an undisclosed place to do undisclosed things.
You're in charge.
Great.
No questions.
Okay.
I said no questions.
Well, King, it's just you and me for a while.
[gasps.]
[dramatic music playing.]
- [keys clacking.]
- Hey, Luz.
- [bell dings.]
- Great news.
What have you done? I just made a few tiny edits and this baby is humming.
Luzura dies? I know, right? What a twist.
King, I know you're trying to help but I think you're crossing a line.
Yeah, into greatness.
Don't you want us to win? If this is how you wanna win, then maybe you should submit the story on your own.
What? Bah! What does she know? What the heck, man? Learn to collaborate.
Hush, you! I'll prove to both of you my story is superior.
Hey, you scum! Which one of you wants to read my literary masterpiece? Anyone brave enough? [all growling.]
- [doors banging.]
- Oof! [grunts.]
[groans.]
I'll read your story.
[pulsates.]
You wrote this? Yep, that's me.
Only me.
Let me get you a fruit punch.
Ooh.
I love punching.
I'm Piniet of Piniet Publishing House.
And your name is King? It's more of a rank than a name.
I loved your story.
So much better than the submissions we got for the competition.
I want to buy it and publish it for everyone to read.
I'll make you as famous as John De Plume.
- [all cheering.]
- Ooh! P-choo! P-choo! Ooh! [yells.]
I've always wanted a people chair.
I'm in.
This will be the first step in my reclamation of power.
Then all you have to do is sign here.
[thuds.]
You're ominous.
And I like it.
Get ready to be famous, Mr.
King.
[grunting.]
[clanking.]
[whooshing.]
[thuds.]
[crackling.]
[rattling.]
Ouch! Jeez! It's the perfect blend of heart and heartlessness.
Like two authors mashed into one.
[laughs.]
[all chattering.]
Spend money on my thing I wrote.
Spend money on my thing I wrote.
[gasping, chattering.]
- [cheering, laughing.]
- [fan.]
Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Mr.
King! Mr.
King, I love your writing.
Please read my story? [laughs.]
Oh, my.
Oh, it's good to be minions.
I mean fans.
[fan.]
King! You're my inspiration.
Okay, from the Minitaur, I head due north.
And with luck, I'll get to the Bloom of Eternal Youth before Lilith.
[laughs, snorts.]
Ah, who's frail now, emperor dorks? [gasps.]
Someone's following me.
[fire crackling.]
Spicy toss! [yelps.]
Lily? Edalyn? [scoffs.]
And of course you would be here just to be a nuisance.
Why don't you go home and rest? Wouldn't want you breaking a hip.
Sorry, sister.
I'm stronger than you think.
I'm here to save the Bloom of Eternal Youth from the likes of you.
I'm gonna get there before you.
[yelps.]
No, you won't.
[keys clacking.]
[King.]
Hey, Luz.
Guess who won the writing competition and became a blockbuster writer superstar? You're right.
It's me.
Me! [keys clacking.]
Do you wanna touch my scarf? A fan crochet it out of their own hair.
It smells so bad.
[keys clacking continues.]
My publisher is throwing a huge party for my book, Ruler's Reach.
And I, uh, I'd like for you to be there.
[keys clacking continues.]
All right, fine.
Be that way, I guess.
[sighs.]
Girl, you don't need him.
But I don't want to be mad at him either.
[crowd cheering.]
[fan.]
Your fans are dying to know when Ruler's Reach 2 comes out.
That's between me and my publisher.
Right, Piniet? Yes.
Oh, pardon me.
I need a few moments of King's time.
[fans cheering.]
Where's John De Plume at? I wanted to compare sunglasses.
Oh, he's taking a break to finish his latest masterpiece.
Fame can really box you in, you know? Uh, speaking of, how's your second book coming along? Coming along or finished? Bam! [laughs.]
Ruler's Reach 2.
Now with more swears.
Ah! Splendid! [pulsates.]
Oh, you cad.
Not only are you a great writer but a practical joker as well.
That's true.
Wait, what? Oh, this is truly awful.
Looking forward to the real draft.
Truly awful.
But I'm a best-selling writer.
How? [chattering.]
Luz, I can't write without her.
Luz, buddy, I'm so glad you could make it.
Hey, King.
I didn't want to be angry at your success.
You're my friend.
So, congratulations.
Great to hear.
'Cause I really need your help with my next book.
- Huh? - Apparently, I can't write my daring works of genius without rebelling against your gushy fantasy slop.
Excuse me? [chuckles.]
We make a great team.
So, here's a pen.
Writey writey.
Clock's a ticking.
[all gasp.]
I'm not writing for you after you made fun of all my ideas.
Hey! What the heck? Congratulations on all your hard-earned success.
What am I gonna do? I can't write without her.
Hmm.
[grunts, pants.]
[grunts, pants.]
Ha! Doesn't this remind you of how we used to race to the kitchen, Lily? Lily? - [mumbling.]
- [gasps.]
[hisses.]
[mumbling continues.]
Lily! [hisses.]
[screams.]
[mumbling.]
Alley-oop! [sighs.]
Thank you, Edalyn.
I wasn't certain that you'd save me.
Stow it.
Uh, we might fight but you're still my sister.
And besides, if anyone's putting you down, it's gonna be me.
Ha! [grunts.]
[chuckles.]
Oh, is that The Bloom of Eternal Youth.
All right.
Back off.
[grunts.]
That baby's mine.
[groans.]
Why are you always like this? Because Lilith, you think I'm just some tired, old biddy.
Ah, but I'm more than that.
And with the Bloom of Eternal Youth's power, I'll show you What the [laughing.]
[sighs.]
They got his good angle.
[footsteps approaching.]
Uh, can I help you? Perhaps.
I hear you're an aspiring writer? [chuckles.]
[fan.]
King! We love you! King! [crowd cheering.]
King! King! I can't wait for the sequel.
If it's disappointing in any way, I will spend every day of my life trashing it.
Oh, boy.
Oh, man.
Ah, geez.
[whimpering.]
Hemming.
Hawing.
Piniet, I gotta come clean.
We can't announce book two.
I can't write without without [Piniet.]
Without your writing partner? [gasps.]
King! - Luz! - That snappily-dressed lizard trapped me in this shrinking box.
[screams.]
You gotta get me out.
What are you doing with her? Let her go.
You wrote Ruler's Reach together.
So, if you don't want her crushed, you'll write together again.
Oh, don't give me that look.
Some of the best books were written in literal crunch time.
[yelps.]
That's a toxic mentality that contributes to burnout and unrealistic expectations.
King, do something! [grunts.]
Set her free, now! Not until I get my best-seller.
You'll recall you are under contract.
Whoa.
[grunts.]
Whoa! Oof! [Piniet.]
Make your deadline, or you'll never be able to hold a pen again.
Just like Help me! Nooo! - Help us! - Get us out of here! [grunting, screaming.]
I'll leave you to it.
Looking forward to your next volume.
- [warps.]
- [yelps.]
We're not getting out of here till we write a book.
And that'll take forever.
We're cube meat.
Well, I have my story.
But it's all hugging and crying.
I can't put my name on that.
King, that is why we are in here! Because you can't compromise.
All I wanted was to write a dumb story with my friend.
Luz, you're living your dream.
You're becoming a witch.
But this celebrity is as close as I'll ever get to my dream.
It all went to my head, and I hurt you.
- I'm sorry.
- Hey.
Being with you is one of my favorite parts of this dream.
- [warps.]
- [yelps.]
I have a plan.
But we need to work together this time.
Just tell me what to do.
[Merchant.]
I know you must be confused.
The Bloom of Eternal Youth, dead? What if I told you the Bloom never existed at all? And now that I have led you to my nest, I'll suck all the life out of you to satisfy my unending hunger! He scammed us.
Can you believe he scammed us? I thought there was a 50/50 chance going in.
Hard not to admire the tenacity though.
Good entrance.
But that outfit? Ha! Oh, look at his little shoes.
[Eda, Lilith laughing.]
Well, maybe you've never been led into a lethal trap before but the response should be, "Ah! No! Spare us! Ah, sure.
Spare us.
Woe to us, whose fates are sealed.
Tha That's right.
We just cower.
[whimpers.]
Cower.
[gulps.]
Oh, dang.
[cubes squeal.]
Hey, Piniet! We're done! Faster than I expected.
That's the miracle of team work.
[warps.]
[pulsates.]
This is much more gushy than your last book.
Skip to the finale, because it's quite a payoff.
[pulsates.]
What is this all about? Light spell! [bursts.]
- [grunts.]
- Agh! I just realized, I should've said enlightening.
Skip to the finale.
You'll find it enlightening.
- King, the contract! - [groaning.]
Pretentious scarf, go! [yelps, grunts.]
[growls.]
[grunting.]
[pants.]
I made you a star and this is how you repay me? No, this is.
[clamoring.]
[cube.]
How's this for edits? - And self-publishing! - [clamoring.]
[both grunt.]
[grunts.]
[cubes squeal.]
You are making this harder than it needs to be.
And believe me, I am being very patient.
[grunts, groans.]
But let's [clanks.]
[grunts.]
Cut to the finish.
[slams.]
[all.]
Huh? King, I am your biggest fan.
[grunts.]
And I fought my way back here for you to read my story.
I'm sorry.
My lawyer advised me not to look at unsolicited work.
But, but Ugh! If I read this will you go? So I can annihilate them in peace? Of course.
- [crashes.]
- [clanking.]
[pulsates.]
[sniffs.]
Oh, it's beautiful.
You you must let me publish this.
I can make you a star.
Really? Wait a minute.
What about King? Ugh! [grunts.]
You're old news.
She on the other hand is the future.
- Whoo-hoo! - Freedom! Hey! King! We're good then? Yes.
Quite.
[grunts.]
P-choo! P-choo! [grunts.]
Well, we wrecked this chump.
but I guess the Bloom of Eternal Youth isn't real.
[sighs.]
Well, if it makes any difference, I don't consider you to be a tired old biddy.
Really? If you were you'd be much easier to catch.
Oh, great.
You're gonna cart me away to the coven now, are you? Not now.
Because I want to give you a chance to join on your own.
Join me in the Emperor's Coven, Edalyn? He could even heal your curse.
No, I'll heal it on my own terms.
I don't want to owe him anything.
Catch you later, sis.
Not if I catch you first.
I'll see you around.
[sighs.]
You're welcome for the chance to bond.
[squeals.]
[snores.]
[yawns.]
Hey, kids.
Woof.
[back cracks.]
That was a rough couple days.
Yeah, I'll say.
[grunts.]
Well, nothing a bit of apple blood and a good book can't mend.
Books? Nope, I don't know nothing about that.
We hate books.
Wow, look at the time.
What's a book? Good night! Huh? [gasps.]
What the Girl, you do not wanna know.