Theodosia (2022) s01e11 Episode Script

The Pit of Despair

[upbeat music]
[ethereal whooshing]
[both grunt]
So much sand.
So much.
Hey, I know one dune looks
pretty much like another,
but this definitely
could be Egypt.
[bird screeches]
I think I'm home.
Hope the Eye didn't
bring us here
'cause it was homesick.
Could have given
us some warning.
These outfits are
not sand-friendly.
We could pop back
to London, change.
Oh, yeah, and risk bumping
into the Serpents at the party.
Yeah, I'm not exactly
missing Miss Krait.
Are you? And besides,
portal's gone.
- You mean we're stuck?
- No, we're not stuck.
We're on a mission.
It's time to figure
what that mission is.
[soft dramatic music]
Come on, Eye, you
brought us here.

[ethereal twinkling]
Sparkly. I like.
Well, it's time to
go with the glow.

[exciting mystical music]


[ominous music]
You have failed me.
The Eye showed the
way, as Aapep promised,
but it showed it to the girl.
It is leading her to the staff.
- Perhaps our agents
- Signal them at once!
The Staff of Osiris must
not slip from our grasp.
Wherever she is, the
girl must be found.

[upbeat music]

Theo, you in there?
The party's over.
Everyone's leaving.
- [imitating Theodosia]
- I'm all good.
- Thanks.
- Are you sure?
Just a sore throat,
but I'm okay, honest.
Right, Safiya?
- [imitating Safiya]
- Uh, yes, um, she's A-okay.
Are you really sure
you two are okay?
Just too much
talking at the party.
- We're good.
- Okay, girls.
I guess I'll leave
you to it then.
- Try and rest those throats.
- No talking all afternoon.
Promise, but that's gonna
be tough on Safiya, though.
Wow, guess my dreams of being
a famous impersonator are dead.
- True facts.
- I'm sticking to magic.
I wish the real girls were here.
I wouldn't even mind
Theo bossing me.
- Hey, it's okay.
- It's Theo and Safiya.
Ever see anything
they can't handle?
[upbeat drum music]

Ugh, now I know
what a baked potato feels like.

Ugh, it's like being attacked
by someone's old gym kit.
[ethereal twinkling]
That's where we need to go.
Hatshepsut's temple.
What are we expecting in there?
- [chuckles]
- Oh, well, the usual.
Magic, Serpents,
end-of-the-world stuff.
Yeah, it's all right then.
I was you know, I was just
expecting something scary.
[both chuckle]
- All right, come on.
- So much walking.
Next time we go
through a portal,
we need to bring a camel.
Would you stop that?
It's like I'm watching
super slow knitting.
We have to do something.
- There's nothing we can do.
- We don't have magic.
We don't know where
Theo and Safiya are.
Miss Krait and the
Serpents ghosted this place
the moment the eclipse ended.
Didn't even bother
to help tidy up.
Okay, for now, you cover
for Theo and Safiya.
I'll go back to the arcade.
I have to be at work.
Maybe they'll turn up there.
[blows sharply]
Nice trick.
Yeah, not exactly as impressive
as one of Theo's, is it?
[dramatic music]

[indistinct chatter]
There aren't supposed
to be any digs here.
I should report them.
Keep very quiet
because these people
are definitely Serpents.
Yeah, but they're not exactly
keeping it on the
down low, are they?
What are they
digging for, anyway?
The Staff of Osiris.
It must be why the
Eye brought us here.
- We need to get past them.
- How?
I wish we had the
invisibility rope.
I don't.
There's too much bad heka in it.
Not something to be messed with.
Hey, Will, a little help here.
Sorry, sorry, Artie.
Oh, wow, how on Earth
did you do that?
[upbeat electronic music]
Do what?
Make that glass disappear.

Oh. Come on, do it again.
Vanish something.
Well, since you
asked so politely.
[applauds]
Will, the sandwiches!
- Sorry, Artie!
- Be there in a sec.
[dramatic music]

What is this outfit
made of, sandpaper?
Ugh!
That's it. No one's watching.
Okay, come on.
That's Osiris
using a staff to
make the crops grow.
[soft dramatic music]
Look, and there's the Eye
at the top of the staff.
Clever eye.

The pharaohs had to keep
the Nile Delta fertile.
I'm sure a magic staff
was a lot of help.
Hey, the fashion-forward
pharaoh over there,
- that's Hatshepsut.
- Yep.
Top pharaonic beard.
Okay, come on.

And over here's a
Dead end. Disappointing.
I think it's Hatshepsut again.
No beard this time.
So the cute kid with her,
that has to be Djehutymes,
otherwise known as Thutmose III,
brutal conqueror of 350 cities.
Suddenly, he looks,
um, well, less cute.
Wow, you've been studying.
Well, you know, I'm Egyptian.
They're my ancestors.
Can't leave it to my
friend the Egyptonerd.
Egyptonerd?
[quietly] Egyptonerd.
Actually, I think
I'm good with that.
Look, more glyphs.
- Hard to read.
- Let's see.
"The way shall open to the one
with true true sight"?
- Some kind of puzzle.
- Ugh, puzzles.
Leave that kind
of thing to Henry.
Okay, now you're wondering,
"Where did that very
expensive watch get to?"
Look, no worries.
I reckon it got hungry, and
it popped off for a snack.
[laughter]
You never knew watches
could get hungry, did you?
Now, watch this.
[crowd gasps and cheers]
See? I was right.
[applause]
Sorry, folks, looks like I
have to get back to work now.
[crowd groans]
- Oh, I'm impressed.
- See the crowd you whipped up?
Maybe you should pay me more.
Maybe you should
go back to serving.
I will, I promise.
I just need to have
a word with Henry.
No sign of Theo and Safiya then.
[sighs]
I hope they're okay.
But I do have some good news,
something that could help
- against the Serpents.
- Like what?
All will become
clear literally.
Why did my ancestors
like riddles so much?
"The way will open to
one with true sight."
What's that even
supposed to mean?
Well, that was only
one translation.
I mean, you could read
it so that it says,
"The way will open
to the true eye."
But that's a horrible way
to translate it because
Oh, I am such a dummy.
Help, someone's replaced
Theo with a normal person.
No, true eye!
[soft mysterious music]

- It's changing.
- [gasps]
A snake.
It's Aapep chumming
up with Thutmose.
Guess we know where he got
the idea for all those wars.
But why put this fresco
in Hatshepsut's temple?
And why is the Eye doing that?
[ethereal twinkling]

[rock rumbling]
[dramatic music]
I guess we're about to find out.

- The Staff.
- We found it.

- I knew we would.
- You totally didn't.
Yeah, okay, but
still, we did it.

Hatshepsut seriously
needs to redecorate.
[rock clatters]
Deep, dark, and no help at all.
How are your bridge
building skills?
[laughs]
Oh, wait, you're
actually serious?
Okay, no one can see.
So what's this thing
that's gonna help us?
Watch and wait.
What?
Where'd you go, seriously?
I'm getting sick of
people vanishing on me.
You'd be amazed
at how many tombs
have floors like this.
I'm pretty used to
this sort of thing.
Come on, Safiya,
you can do this.
Your ancestors built this place.
Okay. [Exhales sharply]
[soft dramatic music]

You got this. You got this.

Don't look down, okay?
Keep looking forward.
Just a little bit further.
See? Nothing to it.
- [screams]
- Safiya!
- You're alive.
- You noticed.
I'm touched. Now
get me out of here!
Dark, bottomless
pits, so not fun.
- I'm with you on that one.
- Wait, there's a rope.
Okay, I'll get you out of there.
Hope this works better
than the bridge.
Stop, no, I need to
tie it off first!
[resounding thud]
Oh, fancy meeting you here.
- Where are you, Will?
- This is getting old.
- You need glasses.
- I'm right here.
Cool, isn't it?
The Serpents can't harm
us if they can't see us.
Why didn't Theo
tell us about this?
- I know, a trick like this.
- West End, here I come.
And it would be great to use
against the Serpents too.
[sighs] Stop doing that.
I want a go.
Sure, but you'll need
to find me first.
Can't you stop that?
Narrow ledge, deadly
drop, remember?
[sighs] This is bad.
The rope is gone, and
none of the spells
I know are any use.
I always told my parents I
wanted a life of adventure.
This is what I get for it.
What, facing doom in
an ancient temple?
Is that what we're
doing, facing doom?
It is if we can't
think of anything.
Seriously, you
need to stop that.
I bet you'd listen
if I were Will.
- What do you mean?
- Why would I listen to Will?
Are we doing this now?
If I had to admit you two
are perfect for each other,
why can't you?
I still don't see why
you turned him down.
- What?
- But he didn't ask me anything.
- And besides, don't you
- [chuckles]
There are plenty
of boys out there,
and this particular
boy likes you.
Well, he did until
you groaned at him.
Groaned?
[laughs]
No, he must have asked
my double, not me.
Do you remember? [Groans]
[laughs] The idiot.
Honestly, boys.
Boys.
Even worse than ancient temples.
[chuckles]
[dramatic music]

You'd think the Eye could
be a bit more helpful.
It did bring us here.
Worst jewelry ever.
No, you're right.
It should really be
helping us out more.
Okay, Eye, if you want
us to save the staff,
you're gonna have to
help us out a bit.
Threaten to throw it in the pit.
[chuckles]
[ethereal whoosh]
Did it hear me?
Well, I mean, who knows,
but something is happening.
- Look, down there.
- It's the rope.
[chuckles]
Okay, maybe you're not such
a bad amulet after all.
Okay, come on.
[indistinct chatter]
Come on, Will, time to
turn back to normal.
- Artie's looking antsy.
- I can't.
Stop messing about
and take the rope off.
I mean it. I I can't.
Seriously?
Now we know why Theo
didn't tell us about it.
You think?
I'm not spending life invisible.
The world will miss my smile.
Okay, I get you.
Our best chance is the museum.
Maybe Theo will be back?
Oh, let's hope.
I've got too many customers
and not enough arms.
Any sign of Will?
He definitely hasn't gone far.
Being invisible's hungry work.
I'm gonna make this
sandwich vanish.
[chuckles]
Who's this?
- We need to go back down.
- Seriously?
Now, yes.
[tense music]

Quick, we need to be
on the other side.

Okay.
What have we here?

Okay.
[ethereal twinkling]
You can be quiet too.
- The Staff, we've found it!
- Chaos is coming.
Okay, okay, he saw the Staff.
He'll be back with
more Serpents.
We need to hurry.
[soft dramatic music]

No.
Do those things
look slice-y to you?
Someone really didn't
want the wrong people
getting their
hands on the Staff.
Are we the wrong people?
Yeah, I'd love to know
before you try to grab it.
Me too.
I think finding out afterwards
would be just a bit tricky.
Oh, it's Thutmose again.
And the man beside him in
the very fetching kilt?
- Amenem Amenemhab.
- Amenemhab, yes.
General to Thutmose.
You know, we found the
Eye of Horus in his tomb.
What are you up to, Ame?

He's breaking the staff.
Yeah, it says here
that Ra spoke to him
and warned him that Aapep
had twisted Thutmose,
told him to break its magic
and hide the Eye and Staff
far away from each other.
No Serpents yet.
Any of this stuff help
with the slice-y things?
No, no, hold on, no,
this looks familiar.
But how is that useful?
Maybe you should
take another look.

Hm, much more inviting.
You know, there's
a spell here too.
Look.
[muttering softly]
Hear me, ancients.
Osiris, great Osiris,
vengeful Horus.
Okay.
Hear me, ancients, great Osiris,
vengeful Horus.
My heart is pure.
Strike me not.
Hm. Seems a bit on the nose.
[dramatic music]

You did it!
This way! Follow me!
Quick, grab the staff.

- [overlapping whispers]
- I see you, Theodosia.
- Queen Hatshepsut.
- You've done well.
That's great, but I'm
here in your temple
with the Eye, and the
Serpents, they're coming.
I need to go!
The Eye has touched you,
and it found your heart good.
You have the power to
make Osiris' Staff whole
and to use it just as Yaret,
the head of the Serpents, does.
You have the strength to ensure
he can never wield it himself.
- But he already beat me.
- He already beat me once before.
With the Staff in your hands,
you will have the
power you need.
[deep rumbling]
The Serpents are
nearing. Hear me.
This is what you must do.
Whatever you're
doing, do it faster.
- They're coming.
- This way, come on!
No sign of Theo and Safi.
If only we knew
where they'd got to.
If only we knew
where you've got to.
Oh, come on, there has to be
a clue in all these books.
And let's hurry.
I feel kind of thin.
Like I'm being stretched out.
[dramatic electronic music]

So helpful.

I'm back. I'm back.
You okay?
There! Hand it over now!
You know what?
Actually, I thought
we'd keep it.
[dramatic music]
Whatever you're
planning, do it now.
- It's okay.
- I've got this, I think.
Hear me, ancients, in
the name of Osiris,
first wielder,
Hatshepsut, true queen
and Amenemhab, loyal servant.
With the power of Ra,
unite with iron staff!
[ethereal whooshing]
[screams]
Get up, get up. It's gone.
[ethereal whooshing]
- You're back.
- We made it.
Just in time.
Henry, Henry, what's going on?
- It's Will.
- What about Will?
[books clatter]
- He used the rope.
- Theo.
You have to hurry.
I feel like I'm
vanishing forever.

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