True Jackson, VP (2008) s01e11 Episode Script

"True Jackson, VP" was filmed In front of a live Studio audience.
Why are you smiling like that? Something [**.]
to follow me? No.
You know how I always feel Out of place here? Well, things have been feeling Pretty good lately.
Nothing really Throws me anymore.
- what the - welcome to a place Far, far away.
I hope you're not afraid Of mystery and adventure.
No, but I'm afraid Of lions and birds.
Birds? Yeah, lately they give me The creeps, I'm not sure why.
I assure you that All the sounds you hear Are fake, Lulu.
Except the monkey.
What's going on, Mr.
Madigan? It's our Annual company retreat.
Usually, we go Somewhere exciting, But because you're a kid, I decided to bring The jungle to us.
Will there be cookies? I should think so.
Oscar? Cookies, cookies, yes, There will be cookies.
I don't know, Mr.
Madigan, The whole thing Seems sort of weird.
Weird? Hmm, Hmm, no.
It's very professional.
Coming bongo.
I like monkeys, But if a bird comes at me, I am punching it in the face.
Hey Ryan, it's true.
I know you like coming To hang out at my office, But today is not a good day.
Why not? Hello, did I lose you, hello? Ryan it's company Retreat day.
Didn't you notice anything Different about the office? Not really.
Oh, are these new chairs? Don't tell me.
Tahiti, right? We're going to Tahiti.
Oh, nicer? Is it someplace nicer? But it is a spa, right? Oh, for the love Of all things Holy, Will someone please tell me Where we're going! We're going To the conference room.
from my head to my toes, it's all real and you know, fresh and cool is just what I do t-r-u-e j-a-c-k-s-o-n v-p working at a grown up job never really knew I could work this hard used to sit at home and watch t.
V.
now I'm in an office as a new v.
P.
I'm always setting trends, with my two best friends when things get out of hand we have a plan we're just messing around and we're making new ground for the whole wide world to see if you see us in town you know what's going down cause I'm the new v.
P hello, sit down, Make yourself comfortable.
Kopelman! What are you wearing? The hat! Do you think this is Some kind of joke? Out! Nice hat, Oscar.
Points for dressing up.
Oh, this old thing? Wow, this place looks cool.
It's like Jungle Jake's safari sit-down.
You know, that place where you Throw your food on the ground When you're done.
I don't think you're Supposed to do that.
Oh really? Maybe that's Why the manager's always Chasing us out.
I just assumed that was Part of the show.
Yo, true, Lulu, I saved you A couple of seats up front.
But Ryan, you're not Supposed to be here.
Well, Mr.
Madigan said I could play too.
No, I didn't.
I like your tie.
Okay, you can stay.
Hi, hello, good morning.
Hello, hi.
You don't need to say hello To every person you see.
Got it.
Here, have a mint.
Hello.
Hi! Hi! I'm coral.
Hi, nice to meet you, coral.
Do you work here? She's my temp.
Yes.
My regular assistant Couldn't be here today.
Why? I fired her.
Oh, that's too bad.
Yes, But, she was just too clumsy.
You kn, Always breaking things.
Well, welcome To mad style, coral.
Please sit down.
This is for everyone.
- oh, don't you look adorable In your t-shirt.
Oh, thanks.
I made it myself.
Oh no, you didn't.
Coral, please.
This is work, not a mixer.
Right, I'm sorry.
Here, have a mint.
I see you, Jimmy.
Come in and shut The doors behind you.
Anyone who's not here Doesn't get to play.
What? It's voluntary? Toodle-oo.
Sit down, Amanda.
We're about to begin.
There's an empty seat Right here, Jimmy.
I'm sitting here.
Not anymore.
Thanks, I'm good.
What's going on, man? Nothing just another Boring day at the office.
Sorry, Jimmy.
We should start.
Welcome to company retreat, Where challenges Become possibilities And possibilities Become opportunities.
I'm already confused.
And we dare to ask ourselves The question, "whom do you trust?" is that it? It was building up To be a bigger surprise.
Now, do I Have your attention? Oh, I'm so glad My dad wasn't here.
One time we threw him A surprise birthday party, He got so freaked out He punched my Uncle, Reggie, In the nose.
We were all, "surprise," And he was like, "boom!" ladies and gentlemen, This is Ted begley, Jr.
He'll be leading our Company retreat.
Thank you.
We will begin With a basic trust exercise.
Now, I'm going to need A volunteer.
Pass.
How about the pretty lady In the back row.
Okay.
Now, what I want you To do is very simple.
Just turn around, Close your eyes, Relax, and fall gently Into my arms.
- oh, what the - now, when you fell back, You were expecting me To catch you, weren't you? And when I didn't, I betrayed your trust.
Does everybody understand that? Oh, yes.
Let's do it again.
All right, let's try it One more time.
This time it'll be good.
This time it'll be good.
Right.
Ready.
Okay, there we go.
And just close your eyes, Relax, and fall gently Into my arms.
Okay.
And now Ted, I'm not sure Exactly what point You're trying to make.
Well, that's because This time there was no point.
I like this guy.
He's crazy.
Yes.
You may be seated.
Oh, you poor thing.
That man made you fall down.
I am perfectly aware Of what just happened.
What just happened? Oh no.
Here, have a mint.
Now, for our next exercise, I'm going to pair You all up randomly.
I hope I get Jimmy.
So, you, you, you, you, You, you, you, you, you, you.
Now, next to you, you'll find Some cards and pencils.
Please pass those around And while you do that, I will take my card out And my pencil and I'm going To write a secret, something I would not want anyone to know.
And now, I'm going to look At my secret for a moment And then into the fire.
Oooh! Now, I would like All of you to try this.
So, write a secret on your card, Something about yourself You don't want anyone In the world to know, Make it juicy, Don't hold back.
Does everyone have something? Good.
Now, pass it to your partner.
What? Shouldn't we throw it In the fire? No, no, no, no.
Just exchange it With your partner.
And then, they'll throw it In the fire.
No, no, no more fire, okay? No more fire.
Max, this is ridiculous.
Yeah, yeah, what she said.
Ted, I'm sensing Some apprehension.
Perhaps, we could do The falling down thing again.
Amanda, get up there.
No.
So, five minutes in and you All want to call it quits.
Is that it? I drove three and a half hours To be here.
Now, you all exchange Your secrets Before I lose my temper.
Thank you.
Now read them.
Oh no.
Don't.
Ted, I'm sure there is Some method to your madness, But the truth is, we don't want People to read our secrets.
It could be embarrassing.
I mean, not mine, But some other people's.
I know a good travel Agent.
It's not too late To go to Tahiti.
Are there birds there? I can get my mom to sign A permission slip.
I assure you, the only person Who will read your secret is Your partner, and if you can't Trust your partner, well, Then the rest of this Is just pointless.
Oh! You didn't read my secret, Did you? No.
Are you sure? Of course, I'm sure.
Now, do you have any change? I'm in the mood For a big Jimmy crush bar.
Amanda! I don't just like 'em.
I like 'em like 'em.
Fine.
I'll read your secret then.
No, don't.
You broke Mr.
Madigan's Lucky horse statue? It was an accident.
I was just admiring it.
You are a very ugly statue.
You didn't tell him.
Well, how could I? You know how fond He is of that thing.
And you're my partner, So you better Not tell him, either.
Fine, but don't tell anyone About my crush.
It's sort of embarrassing.
Well, I think it's sweet.
What's wrong, Lulu? You look like You've seen a bird! No.
It's just I read Mr.
Madigan's secret.
And it's a big one.
What is it? I can't say, remember? He's my partner.
Well, what if I guess? You'll never guess.
He's getting married? No.
He's already married? No.
Is it about a girl? No.
Then I give up.
I wish I could tell you, But I can't.
It's killing me! Well, pretend I'm him.
Lulu, want to talk About my secret? I sure do.
I'm not falling for that.
Worth a try.
Oscar.
Hey.
Hi.
Don't give me that.
What does this mean? None of your business.
I'm not who I appear to be.
Who are you? I'm coral Barnes, Abigail Barnes is my sister.
Ring a bell? No.
Amanda fired her yesterday For no reason.
I'm here to avenge The firing of my sister.
How? You know those mints I keep giving her.
They are loaded with caffeine.
Every mint is like A cup of coffee.
She will never sleep again.
Do you know what happens When you don't sleep? You go mad.
Oh Oscar, you are so funny.
Someone's got The hots for Oscar.
Hey, did you read my secret? Yeah, didn't you Hear me snoring? What kind of secret was that? He said, write something down That no one knows about you.
Yeah, not something no one Could possibly care about you.
What did you think Of my secret? You mean that Series of unreadable lines And scribbles? Yup.
It was pretty clever, huh? I wrote it in a secret code That no one in a million years Could possibly figure out.
What is it, backwards? Ha true has a mirror In her desk.
You broke Uncle Max's Horse statue? I didn't mean to.
I was looking For my harmonica.
What? Well, I lent it to him Like a week ago and I don't Remember ever saying, "oh, go ahead And keep it forever!" Anyway, I figured It might be in his office.
Come on, stupid harmonica.
If you can hear me, Just make a sound.
Oh! Oh, that was close.
Oh, come on.
So you just bailed? Not until I glued The whole thing back together.
I'm a gentleman like that.
I break it, I glue it.
That's my credo.
"my poems" by true Jackson.
I didn't know True wrote poetry.
This one's called "my secret crush.
" oh! You better put that back.
It might be about me.
Mr.
Madigan.
How's it going, partner? You read my secret, didn't you? You're selling the company? But, how could you even think About selling the company? Isn't it like, your whole life? Maybe that's the problem.
I've spent my life Building this place, And for what? Well, you're rich.
That's pretty good.
But, is it enough? I wanted to talk About your secret, too.
"I wish people didn't think I was dumb.
" Well, who thinks you're dumb? Sort of everyone.
Well, so what? Who cares what people think? Sure you're not great At, say, science oh, I'm great at science.
Well, then history.
I'm amazing at history.
Geography? - easy-breezy.
English.
Straight a's.
Then what's the problem? I guess it's that No one around here Trusts me to do anything.
Everyone just assumes I'm going to mess up.
Yes.
I can see how That would be upsetting.
By the way, You didn't break My horse statue, did you? Sorry.
Please return To the conference room Immediately for more Company retreat.
Everyone, Max and I had A little conversation About whether to proceed And we mutually came To the decision to move forward.
Apparently, the deposit's Nonrefundable.
So, has anyone revealed A secret to anyone Other than their partner? No.
Very good.
Now, would anyone be interested In selling their partner's Secret for $1,000? I will.
- don't - this guy has never ever - never ever what? Oh, it was just Starting to get interesting.
Here, have a mint.
Our young friend was Just very lucky because Should any of you reveal Your partner's secret, Then you would be forced To sit in the chair of shame.
No.
- what the - Max.
I don't know what to say He came highly recommended.
Oh, relax people.
The spikes are not real.
Thank goodness for that.
The coconuts, however, are! - uh-oh! I think it's time For another exercise.
A game of capture the flag.
Front row versus the back row.
Front row, your home base Will be true's office, Back row, your home base Will be the break room.
You all know the rules.
If an opposing player gets Two hands on your shoulders, You're out.
Questions? What if I had the bank put A stop payment on the check? Do you suppose There'd be a penalty? Quiet out there.
Too quiet.
No.
You do not want to know What that monkey just did In Oscar's coffee mug.
Okay, we can't Just play defense.
We've got to send Somebody out there.
Good idea.
How about you? Oh, I don't know if I'm Very comfortable with that.
You'll be fine.
No, I think I should Actually just stay in here.
No, trust me.
Trust me.
Nothing's going To happen to you.
And he's captured.
What's wrong, Lulu? You seem jumpy.
It's Mr.
Madigan's secret.
It's making me crazy.
You want to know This guy's secret? He's never If you want to tell me, Just tell me.
I want to, but I'm Not supposed to.
On the other hand, If I don't tell you, I'll explode.
But then, if I do tell you, He'll make me sit In that crazy chair.
Just tell me.
He's going to do what now? Here you are.
I was looking for you.
I got captured.
I just want to say That I love working here so much And I'd hate for anything To be different.
Lulu told you.
No.
No, no, no.
Well, yes.
How could you ever think About selling the company? Did you ever feel like You weren't sure What you were doing? - you're asking A 15-year-old girl Who's vice president Of a fashion company.
I'm in a rut.
I've been struggling with ideas For a new line, And nothing's coming.
And it got me thinking, Who even cares If I design another line? Lots of people.
You know that Awful horse statue I have? I thought you loved it? No, no.
It's horribly tacky.
But, it was the only thing In this office when I moved in.
Somehow it seemed poetic To leave it there.
But then I came in And it was destroyed.
I figured it was a sign.
Do you believe in signs? I do.
Well, let me tell you About a sign.
When I was 10 years old, There was a billboard On our corner for mad style.
It had a picture with a lady In a brown dress on, With pink stitching And orange buttons.
Those are my favorite colors, Pink, orange, and brown.
I remember that dress.
I'd never seen a dress Like that before.
I must've Looked up at that sign A thousand times.
You inspired me, Mr.
Madigan.
You gave me something.
I can't help but think There's a 10-year-old girl Out there right now Looking up at a billboard.
Thank you.
What's going on in here? True was helping me find Something I'd lost.
Was it your horse statue? Were you talking About your horse statue? Game over.
All players please return To the conference room.
This guy.
- oh, true - yeah.
We might want To start giving Lulu a little More responsibility.
I think she's ready for it.
Okay.
First, let me congratulate The winning team.
Who was it? No one.
That was the most boring game Of capture the flag I've ever witnessed.
Do not give yourselves A round of applause.
What did I just say? I don't know.
I'm pretty Checked out here, Ted.
Secondly, and most Importantly, has anyone revealed Their partner's secret? No.
I did.
Then I'm afraid The chair awaits.
Tell me, do you by any chance Have a metal plate in your head? No.
Well, you will.
I'm joking.
Hey true, I hear you have A crush on someone.
Amanda! I didn't say anything! I know who broke Mr.
Madigan's horse statue? It wasn't me! It was my Clumsy assistant's fault.
That's a lie! I'm her sister! Don't eat any more mints! She's trying to drive you mad.
This guy's Never tasted tuna fish.
Everyone, I have An announcement to make.
Congratulations, You have all passed.
Passed? None of us kept our secrets.
Exactly.
Because you shouldn't.
In business, There are no secrets.
I mean, usually it takes The whole day to get To this point.
I'm very proud of you all.
So, we can go? Yeah, you can go.
Okay.
See you tomorrow, Mr.
Madigan? - s s - you know what? All in all, This was a pretty fun day.
Wonder what this button does? Are you okay, Ryan? Can I have some pie now? So, you never said Who you have a crush on.
Just some guy.
Is he a cool guy? He's pretty cool.
Well, I'll see you tomorrow.
I love you too.
What was that? - I love hoo-hoos From the vending machine, That's what I said Hoo-hoos.
- hoo-hoos? Don't start with me, Oscar.
By the way, in all confusion, We never really did Learn your secret.
I broke Mr.
Madigan's horse statue.
When? Four years ago.
Then again two years ago.
And twice last month, And six times yesterday.
I keep replacing them.
Want one? Hey Lulu.
I don't think I'm gonna Be able to make it To the marketing meeting Tomorrow.
Think you could cover for me? Really? Are you sure? I'm sure.
What's that taste in my mug? Trust me, Oscar.
You don't want to know.