Ugly Betty s01e11 Episode Script
Swag
Hey! Ow! Sorry.
Didn't see you.
Betty, is that- is that you? I came back to pack the rest of my things.
Amanda left them on the floor.
Oh, considerate of her.
Thought it'd be better if I came back at night, in case I cried, but so far, no tears.
It's a new year, new job.
It's just one floor down, same building, same elevators.
It's not like I'm never gonna see any of you again.
Still, I don't imagine there's much swag at M.
Y.
W.
No.
I'll definitely miss the perks.
Anyway, you know, I should probably get going.
I don't wanna miss the train.
I think you'll find the trains run all night.
Can I just have a quick look at that bag? You know what? It's holding up so beautifully, the quality Give it here.
This is a knockoff, isn't it? Christina This looks like the bag that the guy sells on the corner.
Oh, this is the bag that the guy sells on the corner.
- I love it all the same.
- Betty, what happened to the Gucci? Nothing bad.
Nothing good, if it's not hanging from your shoulder.
Well, I can explain.
Right.
Start now.
Okay okay.
So well, it all started with the stampede.
Four months ago No, I gotta go.
Did I miss it? Crap! Crap, crap! Crap! Dignity, Amanda.
I guess it's too late for that now.
Prada trumps passion, Daniel.
Christina just posted the sign-up sheet.
Sign-up sheet? She's cleaning the closet tomorrow- the winter fashions from the last three issues.
Christina needs to get rid of them to make room for the spring collections coming in.
Freebie couture is the staff perk.
You know, you really should take a trip down there, Betty.
They might have some socks in your size.
Okay.
That the stuff on Oshi? Yes.
Back issues with his fall and winter collections, a profile from last february's interview and his autobiography.
He has an autobiography? "Oshi on Oshi," by Oshi.
I think those are supposed to be his glasses.
Super-sized icon of minimal fashion, Oshi, will be steamrolling into Gotham tomorrow to unveil his spring collection to the editors of "Mode," where he debuted his collections for years, due to his extremely close friendship with former editor-in-chief, Fey Sommers.
Fey's tragic death in a fiery car crash last month left him devastated.
Fey was so minimal.
And now the question on everybody's mind- will the fashion heavyweight hit it off with Fey's replacement, himbo playboy Daniel Meade? I'm thinking no-shi.
Well, I'm thinking yes-shi.
Thanks, I appreciate that, Betty, but we need Oshi business, and I have nothing in common with the man, I don't speak japanese, I don't wear white, I have never eaten an entire shark at one meal.
He'll love you, Daniel.
It's all about relationships with the japanese.
My first meal with him has to be perfect.
Well, you have the chef's table at Masa on wednesday night - at 8:00 p.
m - Oh, I love their uni.
And I got you this japanese customs and phrase book.
You should also know that your credit card was rejected.
- That's my personal card.
- That's the one you gave me.
Betty, you always use the company card for business.
That reminds me- you're gonna take care of my expense report, right? - Expense report? - Yeah, Henry something-or-other from accounting sent us a memo, says it was due today.
Today? No, I didn't get this.
Well, it says you were copied.
No.
No, I didn't get this.
Well, get on it.
My father's a hard-ass on expenses, and the company's not gonna reimburse me if we turn that in late.
Accounting is giving us till 10:30 tomorrow morning to get it in-period.
- No exceptions.
- But do you have any receipts? You know what to do with them, right? Payroll.
- Mr.
Meade - Thank you.
- And you are? - Betty Suarez.
- This is my first paycheck.
- Mine, too.
- What the - F.
I.
C.
A.
? Now Manny Epstein was a good publisher when Fey was running the show.
She was, however, fiscally responsible.
Daniel well, Daniel needs stronger supervision.
He's a little indulged, but he's growing up.
He ran through his trust fund in three years.
For his 28th birthday, he tried to buy an island and J-Lo.
Shakira.
They were wild oats.
He's turned the corner.
We're talking about a magazine, Bradford.
Why would you want the publisher's job? It's financial-budgets, ad sales.
You're creative.
I never said I'd give up my creative title, just add "publisher" to it.
Better to keep Daniel reined in.
I'd rather you concentrated on the job at hand- helping Daniel establish a relationship with Oshi.
His exclusives are worth millions to us.
Oh, he'll make an impression.
I guarantee it.
The Gucci shoulder bag is mine! Nice, but over it.
Those Louboutin boots, on the other hand As if you stand a chance of getting them.
- I can trade.
- With what? You're last on the list.
All that'll be left are those gag-awful Pucci scarves.
I, on the other hand, have the pick of the closet, and numero uno picks the glorious "it" bag from the house of Gucci.
Why would you need a pocketbook? I need it to trade.
At "Mode," fashion is currency.
I know that's hard for you to understand, because you're so very much in debt, but, for instance, if I needed a favor from you, like an invitation to a Marc Jacobs dinner party, then I might be persuaded to trade that favor for my fabulous Gucci bag, which you so desperately need.
Loiter much? Oh, um, I need some help, if you wouldn't mind.
Ah! You need a favor.
Yes, I guess a favor.
Um, I seem to be late in getting in Daniel's expense report, and I don't know why I didn't get the memo from accounting.
Hmm, must have been lost in the mailroom.
Oops.
And I'm kind of lost on how to do it.
Marc'll be happy to help you.
Won't you, Marc? Please give Betty the correct form, and then give her a copy of our repo.
If she does what we did, she'll be fine.
You realize this means an unnamed favor at a later date.
I understand.
Thank you.
- Ta.
- Ta.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
It's Betty's memo.
Those boys in the mailroom- cute, but so careless.
Nice bag.
Oh, thank you.
So Juan Valdez.
Did it come with a mule? - Christina! - You look fabulous Sod off! Four times a year, I'm everybody's best friend.
Well, nobody is moving up the list, okay? Nobody, and that includes you, Amanda.
I was late signing up because of my job.
Oh, and we all know what kind of job you were giving- doing.
Well, where were you? I'd have let you cut the queue.
Christina, you don't have anything larger than a size 6.
I have accessories.
I know it sounds stupid, but I'm just not that into fashion.
Forget the fashion.
Did you get your paycheck? Yes, and I spent, like, half of it on a slice of pizza.
They take so much out.
That's why you need the swag from the closet.
- Swag? - The goodies.
Gotta start thinking of it as part of your wages.
Look.
Don't you just love it? Now that is the "it" bag of the season.
It's true art.
Look at the way the buckles offset the pattern.
It just slays me.
You know, my mom used to have a bag just like this.
She gave it to me when I was, like, 3.
I used to carry my crayons in it.
Made my sister furious.
Hey, lovely ladies.
tell it from the real thing.
Yeah, he can't tell it from a Gucci.
Believe me, you walkin to "Mode" with a knockoff, you might as well walk in with a cow bladder.
Everybody knows.
He did all this damage in a month? Well, dad, he's an editor-in-chief.
He's gotta entertain people.
- What's Bow-oo-lay? - Bouley- only the hottest restaurant in Tribeca.
He spent $821 on dinner.
Ooh! Next time we go to the chicken place, I'm ordering all white meat, - and I don't wanna hear about it.
- You guys don't understand.
This is business.
He's entertaining models and advertisers and designers, - and what's that say on the back? - It's a blank.
Another miscellaneous expense.
There's a lot of miscellaneous expenses.
I guess that's fine.
Most of Wilhelmina's expenses are miscellaneous, too.
Says she went to Rio.
Yeah, she's the creative director.
It was a fashion shoot.
It was in the last issue.
Oh, $25,000 to Casa Brazil for props and extras? Ay, dios, and they haven't given you a paycheck yet? Well, actually, they gave it to me today.
And? Someone is blowing and this is what they're paying you? She's not doing it for the money, Hilda.
It's an opportunity.
Well, maybe you should get another job to support your opportunity.
Ay, dios mío.
They take so much out.
Well, it's still a paycheck, Betty.
It's more than I made on my first job.
Vamos.
Come on.
Novela's waiting.
Betty we have to make some serious cutbacks.
The pharma wouldn't fill his prescription today.
What? Maria Ortiz-she can't do that.
She knows he needs his pills to work.
He has arrhythmia.
He could die.
It wasn't Maria.
It's his H.
M.
O.
They're not gonna cover him anymore.
So this was around the time Walter and I were broken up.
You remember how he was stalking me? Stop following me, Walter! I have something for you.
I don't need any more batteries, thank you.
It's a universal remote.
We only have one TV.
Now leave me alone.
- Walter - I'm going to get you back, Betty.
Not by stalking me.
You cheated on me, Walter.
You cheated on me with Gina Gambarro.
Do you even understand what that means? I don't care how many universal remotes you give me.
There's no winning me back.
Your father's H.
M.
O.
file is under investigation.
What kind of investigation? I don't know.
They don't tell me those things.
All I know is that they refuse to cover his prescription until the matter's resolved.
Maria, my father needs his medication.
Did I say he couldn't have his medication? - You pay me $197, and they- - Walter.
Wha-what? I'm shopping.
No, you do not have a feminine itch.
I don't have $197.
Well, don't they pay you at "Mode"? Not enough.
So I'm suppose to give you your father's prescription gratis, huh? That's how my father and I are supposed to stay in business? Get- Can you really blame him for trying on Gina Gambarro? B etty! Ms.
Suarez.
Mr.
Meade? I need to see you this morning.
- Me? - My office, 10:30 sharp.
Yes, sir, 10:30 sharp.
And, Betty, I don't want anyone to know, especially Daniel.
You know, you could just bow a lot.
Your expense report-you need to sign it.
So Oshi lands at 8:00.
He's staying at the The Asia on park, in the penthouse.
I've ordered the flowers.
White dendrobium orchids? - Red roses.
- He hates color.
Veuve Laurent brut? It's champagne.
Five bottles at least-he brushes his teeth with it.
I appreciate your help, Wilhelmina, but this is my dinner, my meeting, my chance to get to know Oshi.
You're not invited.
Did Marc help you with the expense report? Yes, thank you.
No thanks needed.
Just make sure Oshi's limo is a white stretch.
Oh, and, Betty make sure to get that down - to accounting by- - 10:30.
Oh, and can you pick me up a coffee and a bagel, white- Yeah, two sugars, water bagel with cream cheese.
Got it.
And I need you to front me the cash.
I'm out.
Oh, um yeah, okay.
Back off, Shaquille, these are women's boots.
I'm number seven on the sign-up sheet, honey.
Better luck next time.
Christina! There was a Gucci bag in the august issue.
I know you have it.
Well, it must be somewhere in the accessory closet, love.
I looked in the accessory closet, "love.
" Well, it must be still on the floor, love.
- It's not on the floor, "love.
" - Then pick something else, love! - This is my hell.
- It's Betty.
- Is Amanda there? - Oh, yeah, yeah.
She's got the blonde from styles in a headlock.
- Why aren't you here? - Because I have things to do, and I need Amanda to cover Daniel's phone.
If I see anyone leaving here with that Gucci bag, I will club them with this boot.
I'm serious, Betty.
It's a feeding frenzy.
And if you want anything at all from the closet, you've got to get down here now.
Okay, maybe later.
Just please get Amanda up here, Christina.
I have to go.
Bye.
So then I ran down to accounting, and that's where I met - Henry? - Yes? Here.
Oh, well, you certainly like to cut it close.
- Yeah, I didn't get the memo.
- Well, you were on the list.
I didn't get it.
My boss did, last night, so here it is.
Um Do you take your coffee with cream and sugar? Yeah.
Any cream cheese? Excuse me? I'm sorry.
I'll make it up to you later.
Hi, Mr.
Meade.
Uh, I'm sorry I'm late.
Uh, the first elevator was full, so I had to wait for the second one- I hope those are for me.
I skipped breakfast.
Yeah.
Uh sure.
Here you go.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
Please.
- Okay.
- No cream cheese? No, they were out.
So do you have any idea why you're here? Sir, it was just one pack of post-its.
I swear I will bring it back.
I love my job.
It's not about post-its.
It's not? It's about fiscal responsibility.
Well, I only overdrew my bank account once.
Daniel's, not yours.
Some people are questioning his ability to handle company finances.
He's had some problems in the past.
Well, I just turned in his expense report.
It seemed fine to me.
Protect him, Betty.
If you see him do anything out of line, let me know.
Yes, sir.
Oh, and, Betty, he doesn't need to know we're doing this.
Our secret.
Just remember who signs your paychecks.
Okay.
But might I just say, you take out a lot? Hey, Betty, Daniel's been calling around for you.
He isn't happy.
You want to tell me where you've been? I was trying to get your bagel Did you find some cream cheese? Oh, gee.
Look, I'm sorry, um I was in such a rush, and my boss wanted a bagel and some coffee, and I was gonna make it up to you, really- This is not about coffee and a bagel, Betty! - Really? - I wish, but it's about the expense report you turned in.
Henry here has rejected $20,000 of miscellaneous expenses, every dime of which I am personally responsible.
You wanna-what were you thinking? Miscellaneous expense? Miscellaneous expense.
You need to put names, dates, reasons for the meal.
Yeah, but I just- I copied Wilhelmina's report.
Betty, miscellaneous expense reports are always meticulously detailed.
Of course they are.
I mean, Wilhelmina knows exactly how this makes me look to my father.
Does he get copies? Instantly, whenever there's a large violation.
The server sends it, then automatically suspends the company credit card of the violator.
Seriously? My card's suspended? It only takes a week to reactivate.
A week? No.
I have a huge dinner tomorrow night.
Betty, phone? Daniel Meade's office.
Yes, sir.
Yeah, I'll tell him.
That's your father.
$20,000 of miscellaneous expenses? Yesterday I defended your fiscal responsibility to Wilhelmina Slater.
She's gunning for publisher.
You know that? She thinks you need financial supervision.
Is she right? No, sir not from her.
I'm not so sure.
I think you've gone soft on my money.
I think you've got something to prove to me.
So here's what I'm gonna do- I'm gonna eat the 20 grand, call it an accounting error.
Thank you.
But this month, you're gonna use your own money.
See how responsible you are when it's coming out of your own pocket.
Oh, that's terrible.
Did Bradford say anything to you? He said Some people are questioning Daniel's ability to handle company finances.
He's had some problems in the past.
And that was just the tip of the iceberg You only have $327 left in your account? But you're a Meade.
A poor Meade.
I blew through my trust fund like-like- I was Michael Jackson.
- I need this job, Betty.
- Well, you just got paid.
It barely covered the rent on my loft.
I've been living off the company credit card, okay? I'm broke.
You have to entertain Oshi tomorrow night.
Maybe you should just tell your father.
What, and look fiscally irresponsible? If I tell dad that's all I have left, he'll make Wilhelmina publisher so fast, it'll make your head spin, and it'd be like handing the magazine over to her.
No.
This is our secret.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, we can work our way out of this.
It's like my dad always says, "it's not how much you have.
It's how you spend it.
" We'll think of something.
I don't know how that phony expense report got into my files.
I'm furious at you, Marc.
See that it never happens again.
Oh, the witch and her flying monkey set you up.
Yeah, I get that now.
Publisher? That would make her more powerful than Daniel.
Oh, god forbid.
Right.
Well, there's not much left, but I did manage to save one or two goodies.
And you don't need to be a size 6 to carry a nice bag.
It's the Gucci bag.
Wow, that's beautiful.
It matches your dress.
It's not for me, Betty.
- It's for you.
- No, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
It's your first swag, so you get the first pick, and believe me, you really do need a new purse.
Go on.
Do you know? I believe that fashion is good for the soul, for just how it makes you feel.
And you'll be amazed at the respect a designer label brings you around here.
Well, it's the nicest thing I've ever owned.
Thank you.
Just don't put your crayons in it, okay? A watch? Christina said it's not really that expensive, but they did use it in a James Bond photo shoot.
Suarez Ignacio Suarez.
- Hilda - Ooh, what is it? It's a scarf! Oh, it's beautiful! It's Hermès! Yeah, I know that.
And, Justin Oh, my god.
It's a Burberry belt.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I've gotta call all my friends.
No, no, you don't! Justin! That reminds me of your mother's handbag, the one she gave to you, remember? You used to carry it everywhere.
It was almost as big as you were.
I remember.
Man, how she loved that bag, said it made her feel beautiful.
Oh, dad, I went to the pharmacy this morning, and Maria wouldn't do it.
How much was the prescription? Almost $200.
Well, that is a beautiful bag and this this is a wonderful watch.
- Nice bag.
- Thank you.
- Can I touch it? - Yeah.
My bag.
- She's got my bag.
- I found it.
- You were hiding it for her.
- Oh, don't be a spoilsport.
- She doesn't deserve a Gucci bag.
- Oh, and you do? She won't know what to do with it.
Look, it's touching polyester.
I think she's wearing it rather nicely, actually.
Oops.
Yes, I'm trying to apply for a new platinum card.
There seems to be a problem.
Daniel Meade.
Yes, that's right.
"Mode" magazine.
Mm-hmm.
I see.
Uh, well, how about a gold card, then? Silver? Come on.
I'm running out of colors here.
Can you help me out? You know, that's entirely uncalled- Apparently, my credit rating's lower than that of most convicted felons.
Nice bag.
Vuitton? Gucci, from the closet and inside, my list of 300 very fun things to do in New York City for under $300, and I think it's very good.
He's here! He's here, he's here! Oshi's on his way up! He's here.
The master of minimal, the king of clean Marc the champagne.
Ohayo gozaimasu, Oshi-san.
Good morning.
I'm very thirsty.
Are you? We have fresh coffee.
I am very thirsty for some champagne, Oshi, are you? Wilhelmina.
- Champagne.
- Kampai, darling.
- Kampai.
- Kampai.
Daniel Meade I will be fitting my spring collection on my Models today and tomorrow.
Tomorrow evening I will return to do a showing for you and your editors.
We will use your tube entry for our runway walk.
I like it round, white, minimal.
Then we will drink champagne, and you will take us out for a wonderful meal.
After that, we will talk business or not.
He said "a wonderful meal.
" He's expecting a wonderful meal.
Well, I'd be happy to pick up the tab, Daniel.
I can treat.
Of course, then you'd have to invite me to the dinner.
She knows I'm broke.
She knew before she met with my father.
Daniel, I don't think it's really a good idea to let Wilhelmina pay for dinner.
I mean, the japanese are very attuned to nuance, and it would appear that you're not in charge.
Oh, right, I-I get it, okay? But I don't have a choice, right? I mean, if I use Wilhelmina's expense account, she gets credit for keeping Oshi, and my father knows I'm broke, but if I don't use her, we risk losing Oshi, and he really knows I'm broke.
Either way, I end up looking like a financial incompetent, and she gets the publisher's job.
Well, not if you can impress Oshi under $300, and there are some really great things on this list.
$300 won't buy Oshi a new scrunchie.
We could take him to the movies or, um, okay, uh, the Statue of Liberty or you know what? Walter and I had so much fun eating at Papaya Queen and riding the Staten Island ferry, really.
The ferry, Betty? Really? Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, let's forget it.
Wilhelmina got us.
This is over.
We're done.
Well, it's his own fault for spending so much.
Yeah, but I filled out his expense report.
No, no, no, no, no, you just didn't lie for him.
Listen, they're all at it.
They all cheat.
Wilhelmina, especially.
They abuse their expense accounts like it's their god-given right, and they pay us slave wages.
- Nice Gucci.
- Thank you.
Oh, it's the last salad.
That's okay.
We carb-loading for a marathon? We can't all live on laxatives.
Hey, Betty.
Seamstress.
See, the girl from styles who got my Louboutin boots- she would die to have your Gucci bag.
So here's the deal-I will trade you my season tickets to the opera for your bag.
Then I can trade your bag for my boots, and everyone winds up a winner.
The opera? She lives in Queens.
If she wants to hear fat italians screaming, she can open her window.
Betty loves her new bag.
Don't you? - Yes, I do.
- There you go, then.
Go away and throw up your celery sticks.
Shoo! Opera tickets? Christina, how much exactly is this bag worth? Retail? About $4,500.
With the pickle, however, $4,200.
Please just go home, Walter.
Leave me alone.
I'm home.
We didn't want to start without you, but it was getting cold.
I went to see Maria.
She gave you 15 refills.
got her to give you 15 refills? Where's your Gucci? - Betty - It's okay.
It was swag, part of my wages.
That witch blows 25 grand in Rio, and you've gotta give up your purse- - Hilda, it's okay.
- No, it's not okay, Betty.
Well, that's the way it is.
I got it.
Hey.
Do you remember how angry you were when mom gave me her good purse? Yeah, well you were 3, and you used it to carry around your crayons.
I finally figured out why she gave it to me and not to you.
Díga me.
She knew how it would make me feel.
Christina says that fashion is good for the soul and when I was walking around with my Gucci today, it was like I was 3 years old again and holding mom's purse and I actually felt pretty.
I know, mama.
Well, you had to do it, Betty.
No matter how much you loved the bag, - you did the right thing.
- I know.
So then you went and got a bag from the corner guy? Are you kidding me? No, that thing costs, like, $200.
I just kept thinking about what Hilda said, about how unfair it was that Wilhelmina goes to Rio to spend $25,000 on props and extras.
We couldn't even afford medicine for my dad.
Totally, and you have no idea how they pad their expenses.
Don't stop on my account.
Well, that's exactly what I was thinking.
So I told Justin to bring me his issue with the Rio spread, and he did.
Hello.
Where's the Gucci? I didn't want to get another pickle on it.
Okay, so I realize the opera tickets were totally inappropriate.
Here is a menudo box set and a coupon for 100 taquitos.
What? - I don't have much time.
- That makes two of us.
I need to see Wilhelmina's expense report from the last issue- the real one.
That's against company policy.
Coffee and a bagel? Mmm need a real reason.
There was a $25,000 charge made to the Casa Brazil - under "props and extras.
" - And? Show me the props and extras.
Models on a beach wearing bikinis-sand, water, boobs.
This could've been shot for next to nothing.
Okay, so maybe she was padding.
Everybody pads a little.
A little? Daniel, $25,000? That's my family's rent for a year.
Betty, I can't question the creative director of a major fashion magazine.
Who's hiding a huge expense under "props and extras.
" It's not right, and it's not right when you do it, either.
Point taken, but Oshi's due in two hours.
If we take Wilhelmina down- Then they cancel her company credit card.
She can't pay for Oshi, and your father will never make her publisher.
And I'm left with $327 to entertain Oshi and his entire entourage.
Then ditch the entourage.
Only take him to dinner, and don't tell me that $327 isn't enough.
Okay.
All right, and how do we prove Wilhelmina cheated? Hmm? Am I invited to the dinner, Daniel? I don't think Masa allows dishwashing as a form of payment.
Actually, Wilhelmina, I was thinking of something a bit more private.
Were you? Oshi-san in the spirit of minimalism, and to honor your collection, uh, I was thinking we might have our dinner one-on-one.
You and me, alone, so we can get to know each other.
Alone? No.
No, no.
Oshi is Oshi.
I'm sorry.
There wasn't another way in.
- Where's Henry? - Meeting with your father.
Is there any way to hold them off? Why? Because Oshi is Oshi, and we have $300 to feed 15 people.
I mean, if we want him to stay at "Mode," we have to invite Wilhelmina along.
No.
No, no, then you lose, Daniel.
You can't just give up without a fight.
Yeah, but we don't have a plan "b," Betty.
I don't have a choice.
It's so minimal, it's nothing.
Yes, yes.
Simple is better.
Round white minimal.
Round, white - Minimal.
Kampai, Oshi.
- Kampai.
Brilliant collection-brilliant in its simplicity.
- It's minimal, it's white- - It's crazy.
You can't be serious.
It might work, Daniel, and we have to try something.
No, we don't, Betty.
It's over.
Party time, Daniel.
Oshi's ready for more champagne.
Uh, well, we could drink more champagne at Masa, Oshi.
Isn't that right, Wilhelmina? I would love to come.
I'm famished, Oshi, aren't you? Oshi's hungry, okay? Very hungry.
But he and your father will know who paid the bill.
Shall we move on to dinner? Actually, Wilhelmina, I think you have more pressing business.
May we see you for a moment? Bradford? It's about the last issue's shoot in Rio.
Uh was there a problem? I don't mind paying for props and extras, but I take great exception at financing your brazilian butt lift.
I'm sure you'll all have a wonderful dinner without me.
Stop looking at it.
It may as well be Oshi walking out the door.
We have a plan "b," Daniel.
You think so, Betty? I think we're screwed.
This better work, Betty.
He likes round, he likes white, he likes minimal.
It's perfect.
Daniel? Taking him somewhere special? Someplace unique.
Just remember you're on your own dime.
Kinda hard to forget, dad.
Make sure you don't lose him.
He won't.
Good luck returning my ass! Oshi want to know where we are going.
- New Jersey.
- New Jersey? Holy crap.
This is a disaster.
I can feel it.
Daniel! Yes, Oshi? What place is this? Where have you brought me? It's called the White Tassel.
It's clean, white, minimal.
Round food inside.
Minimal.
He likes it.
Oshi likes it.
We've got exclusives for his next four collections.
"Minimal, Daniel.
" Yeah.
Yeah.
Thanks, dad.
No, you have no idea how much I appreciate that.
Okay, yeah.
He's reactivating my company credit card.
Yes! He's tough, but he's fair.
And thanks for the lesson.
It's not how much you have.
It's how you spend it.
Yeah, I was thinking more like the one about not giving up.
Forget about it.
Good night, Betty.
Good night.
Betty.
I know.
"Walter, go away.
" It's just a knockoff.
It's wonderful.
Nice bag.
It truly is.
Okay, forget the opera tickets.
Forget the taquitos.
Final offer-body wax at natrique and a weekend at my parents' house in the Hamptons.
No sale.
Full body wax.
That includes the back! Okay, it's yours for one of the fake Guccis the guy's selling around the corner, and a huge favor to be named a later date.
You won't fool anyone with a phony.
- I'll take my chances.
- Seriously? I think I'm beginning to learn the way it works around here.
Then deal.
So he took Walter's phony and bought you a new phony.
And still owes me a huge favor.
Well, what happens when he finds out? Ah, well, you see, that is the genius.
Because Marc would never admit to being duped- not by Betty.
Exactly.
Well, that's it.
I've only been here a short time, but I feel like I made some good friends, and I learned a lot.
Hey, this is just the beginning.
I know.
I just wish it didn't feel like the end.
See ya.
I'm really gonna miss her, you know?
Didn't see you.
Betty, is that- is that you? I came back to pack the rest of my things.
Amanda left them on the floor.
Oh, considerate of her.
Thought it'd be better if I came back at night, in case I cried, but so far, no tears.
It's a new year, new job.
It's just one floor down, same building, same elevators.
It's not like I'm never gonna see any of you again.
Still, I don't imagine there's much swag at M.
Y.
W.
No.
I'll definitely miss the perks.
Anyway, you know, I should probably get going.
I don't wanna miss the train.
I think you'll find the trains run all night.
Can I just have a quick look at that bag? You know what? It's holding up so beautifully, the quality Give it here.
This is a knockoff, isn't it? Christina This looks like the bag that the guy sells on the corner.
Oh, this is the bag that the guy sells on the corner.
- I love it all the same.
- Betty, what happened to the Gucci? Nothing bad.
Nothing good, if it's not hanging from your shoulder.
Well, I can explain.
Right.
Start now.
Okay okay.
So well, it all started with the stampede.
Four months ago No, I gotta go.
Did I miss it? Crap! Crap, crap! Crap! Dignity, Amanda.
I guess it's too late for that now.
Prada trumps passion, Daniel.
Christina just posted the sign-up sheet.
Sign-up sheet? She's cleaning the closet tomorrow- the winter fashions from the last three issues.
Christina needs to get rid of them to make room for the spring collections coming in.
Freebie couture is the staff perk.
You know, you really should take a trip down there, Betty.
They might have some socks in your size.
Okay.
That the stuff on Oshi? Yes.
Back issues with his fall and winter collections, a profile from last february's interview and his autobiography.
He has an autobiography? "Oshi on Oshi," by Oshi.
I think those are supposed to be his glasses.
Super-sized icon of minimal fashion, Oshi, will be steamrolling into Gotham tomorrow to unveil his spring collection to the editors of "Mode," where he debuted his collections for years, due to his extremely close friendship with former editor-in-chief, Fey Sommers.
Fey's tragic death in a fiery car crash last month left him devastated.
Fey was so minimal.
And now the question on everybody's mind- will the fashion heavyweight hit it off with Fey's replacement, himbo playboy Daniel Meade? I'm thinking no-shi.
Well, I'm thinking yes-shi.
Thanks, I appreciate that, Betty, but we need Oshi business, and I have nothing in common with the man, I don't speak japanese, I don't wear white, I have never eaten an entire shark at one meal.
He'll love you, Daniel.
It's all about relationships with the japanese.
My first meal with him has to be perfect.
Well, you have the chef's table at Masa on wednesday night - at 8:00 p.
m - Oh, I love their uni.
And I got you this japanese customs and phrase book.
You should also know that your credit card was rejected.
- That's my personal card.
- That's the one you gave me.
Betty, you always use the company card for business.
That reminds me- you're gonna take care of my expense report, right? - Expense report? - Yeah, Henry something-or-other from accounting sent us a memo, says it was due today.
Today? No, I didn't get this.
Well, it says you were copied.
No.
No, I didn't get this.
Well, get on it.
My father's a hard-ass on expenses, and the company's not gonna reimburse me if we turn that in late.
Accounting is giving us till 10:30 tomorrow morning to get it in-period.
- No exceptions.
- But do you have any receipts? You know what to do with them, right? Payroll.
- Mr.
Meade - Thank you.
- And you are? - Betty Suarez.
- This is my first paycheck.
- Mine, too.
- What the - F.
I.
C.
A.
? Now Manny Epstein was a good publisher when Fey was running the show.
She was, however, fiscally responsible.
Daniel well, Daniel needs stronger supervision.
He's a little indulged, but he's growing up.
He ran through his trust fund in three years.
For his 28th birthday, he tried to buy an island and J-Lo.
Shakira.
They were wild oats.
He's turned the corner.
We're talking about a magazine, Bradford.
Why would you want the publisher's job? It's financial-budgets, ad sales.
You're creative.
I never said I'd give up my creative title, just add "publisher" to it.
Better to keep Daniel reined in.
I'd rather you concentrated on the job at hand- helping Daniel establish a relationship with Oshi.
His exclusives are worth millions to us.
Oh, he'll make an impression.
I guarantee it.
The Gucci shoulder bag is mine! Nice, but over it.
Those Louboutin boots, on the other hand As if you stand a chance of getting them.
- I can trade.
- With what? You're last on the list.
All that'll be left are those gag-awful Pucci scarves.
I, on the other hand, have the pick of the closet, and numero uno picks the glorious "it" bag from the house of Gucci.
Why would you need a pocketbook? I need it to trade.
At "Mode," fashion is currency.
I know that's hard for you to understand, because you're so very much in debt, but, for instance, if I needed a favor from you, like an invitation to a Marc Jacobs dinner party, then I might be persuaded to trade that favor for my fabulous Gucci bag, which you so desperately need.
Loiter much? Oh, um, I need some help, if you wouldn't mind.
Ah! You need a favor.
Yes, I guess a favor.
Um, I seem to be late in getting in Daniel's expense report, and I don't know why I didn't get the memo from accounting.
Hmm, must have been lost in the mailroom.
Oops.
And I'm kind of lost on how to do it.
Marc'll be happy to help you.
Won't you, Marc? Please give Betty the correct form, and then give her a copy of our repo.
If she does what we did, she'll be fine.
You realize this means an unnamed favor at a later date.
I understand.
Thank you.
- Ta.
- Ta.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
It's Betty's memo.
Those boys in the mailroom- cute, but so careless.
Nice bag.
Oh, thank you.
So Juan Valdez.
Did it come with a mule? - Christina! - You look fabulous Sod off! Four times a year, I'm everybody's best friend.
Well, nobody is moving up the list, okay? Nobody, and that includes you, Amanda.
I was late signing up because of my job.
Oh, and we all know what kind of job you were giving- doing.
Well, where were you? I'd have let you cut the queue.
Christina, you don't have anything larger than a size 6.
I have accessories.
I know it sounds stupid, but I'm just not that into fashion.
Forget the fashion.
Did you get your paycheck? Yes, and I spent, like, half of it on a slice of pizza.
They take so much out.
That's why you need the swag from the closet.
- Swag? - The goodies.
Gotta start thinking of it as part of your wages.
Look.
Don't you just love it? Now that is the "it" bag of the season.
It's true art.
Look at the way the buckles offset the pattern.
It just slays me.
You know, my mom used to have a bag just like this.
She gave it to me when I was, like, 3.
I used to carry my crayons in it.
Made my sister furious.
Hey, lovely ladies.
tell it from the real thing.
Yeah, he can't tell it from a Gucci.
Believe me, you walkin to "Mode" with a knockoff, you might as well walk in with a cow bladder.
Everybody knows.
He did all this damage in a month? Well, dad, he's an editor-in-chief.
He's gotta entertain people.
- What's Bow-oo-lay? - Bouley- only the hottest restaurant in Tribeca.
He spent $821 on dinner.
Ooh! Next time we go to the chicken place, I'm ordering all white meat, - and I don't wanna hear about it.
- You guys don't understand.
This is business.
He's entertaining models and advertisers and designers, - and what's that say on the back? - It's a blank.
Another miscellaneous expense.
There's a lot of miscellaneous expenses.
I guess that's fine.
Most of Wilhelmina's expenses are miscellaneous, too.
Says she went to Rio.
Yeah, she's the creative director.
It was a fashion shoot.
It was in the last issue.
Oh, $25,000 to Casa Brazil for props and extras? Ay, dios, and they haven't given you a paycheck yet? Well, actually, they gave it to me today.
And? Someone is blowing and this is what they're paying you? She's not doing it for the money, Hilda.
It's an opportunity.
Well, maybe you should get another job to support your opportunity.
Ay, dios mío.
They take so much out.
Well, it's still a paycheck, Betty.
It's more than I made on my first job.
Vamos.
Come on.
Novela's waiting.
Betty we have to make some serious cutbacks.
The pharma wouldn't fill his prescription today.
What? Maria Ortiz-she can't do that.
She knows he needs his pills to work.
He has arrhythmia.
He could die.
It wasn't Maria.
It's his H.
M.
O.
They're not gonna cover him anymore.
So this was around the time Walter and I were broken up.
You remember how he was stalking me? Stop following me, Walter! I have something for you.
I don't need any more batteries, thank you.
It's a universal remote.
We only have one TV.
Now leave me alone.
- Walter - I'm going to get you back, Betty.
Not by stalking me.
You cheated on me, Walter.
You cheated on me with Gina Gambarro.
Do you even understand what that means? I don't care how many universal remotes you give me.
There's no winning me back.
Your father's H.
M.
O.
file is under investigation.
What kind of investigation? I don't know.
They don't tell me those things.
All I know is that they refuse to cover his prescription until the matter's resolved.
Maria, my father needs his medication.
Did I say he couldn't have his medication? - You pay me $197, and they- - Walter.
Wha-what? I'm shopping.
No, you do not have a feminine itch.
I don't have $197.
Well, don't they pay you at "Mode"? Not enough.
So I'm suppose to give you your father's prescription gratis, huh? That's how my father and I are supposed to stay in business? Get- Can you really blame him for trying on Gina Gambarro? B etty! Ms.
Suarez.
Mr.
Meade? I need to see you this morning.
- Me? - My office, 10:30 sharp.
Yes, sir, 10:30 sharp.
And, Betty, I don't want anyone to know, especially Daniel.
You know, you could just bow a lot.
Your expense report-you need to sign it.
So Oshi lands at 8:00.
He's staying at the The Asia on park, in the penthouse.
I've ordered the flowers.
White dendrobium orchids? - Red roses.
- He hates color.
Veuve Laurent brut? It's champagne.
Five bottles at least-he brushes his teeth with it.
I appreciate your help, Wilhelmina, but this is my dinner, my meeting, my chance to get to know Oshi.
You're not invited.
Did Marc help you with the expense report? Yes, thank you.
No thanks needed.
Just make sure Oshi's limo is a white stretch.
Oh, and, Betty make sure to get that down - to accounting by- - 10:30.
Oh, and can you pick me up a coffee and a bagel, white- Yeah, two sugars, water bagel with cream cheese.
Got it.
And I need you to front me the cash.
I'm out.
Oh, um yeah, okay.
Back off, Shaquille, these are women's boots.
I'm number seven on the sign-up sheet, honey.
Better luck next time.
Christina! There was a Gucci bag in the august issue.
I know you have it.
Well, it must be somewhere in the accessory closet, love.
I looked in the accessory closet, "love.
" Well, it must be still on the floor, love.
- It's not on the floor, "love.
" - Then pick something else, love! - This is my hell.
- It's Betty.
- Is Amanda there? - Oh, yeah, yeah.
She's got the blonde from styles in a headlock.
- Why aren't you here? - Because I have things to do, and I need Amanda to cover Daniel's phone.
If I see anyone leaving here with that Gucci bag, I will club them with this boot.
I'm serious, Betty.
It's a feeding frenzy.
And if you want anything at all from the closet, you've got to get down here now.
Okay, maybe later.
Just please get Amanda up here, Christina.
I have to go.
Bye.
So then I ran down to accounting, and that's where I met - Henry? - Yes? Here.
Oh, well, you certainly like to cut it close.
- Yeah, I didn't get the memo.
- Well, you were on the list.
I didn't get it.
My boss did, last night, so here it is.
Um Do you take your coffee with cream and sugar? Yeah.
Any cream cheese? Excuse me? I'm sorry.
I'll make it up to you later.
Hi, Mr.
Meade.
Uh, I'm sorry I'm late.
Uh, the first elevator was full, so I had to wait for the second one- I hope those are for me.
I skipped breakfast.
Yeah.
Uh sure.
Here you go.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
Please.
- Okay.
- No cream cheese? No, they were out.
So do you have any idea why you're here? Sir, it was just one pack of post-its.
I swear I will bring it back.
I love my job.
It's not about post-its.
It's not? It's about fiscal responsibility.
Well, I only overdrew my bank account once.
Daniel's, not yours.
Some people are questioning his ability to handle company finances.
He's had some problems in the past.
Well, I just turned in his expense report.
It seemed fine to me.
Protect him, Betty.
If you see him do anything out of line, let me know.
Yes, sir.
Oh, and, Betty, he doesn't need to know we're doing this.
Our secret.
Just remember who signs your paychecks.
Okay.
But might I just say, you take out a lot? Hey, Betty, Daniel's been calling around for you.
He isn't happy.
You want to tell me where you've been? I was trying to get your bagel Did you find some cream cheese? Oh, gee.
Look, I'm sorry, um I was in such a rush, and my boss wanted a bagel and some coffee, and I was gonna make it up to you, really- This is not about coffee and a bagel, Betty! - Really? - I wish, but it's about the expense report you turned in.
Henry here has rejected $20,000 of miscellaneous expenses, every dime of which I am personally responsible.
You wanna-what were you thinking? Miscellaneous expense? Miscellaneous expense.
You need to put names, dates, reasons for the meal.
Yeah, but I just- I copied Wilhelmina's report.
Betty, miscellaneous expense reports are always meticulously detailed.
Of course they are.
I mean, Wilhelmina knows exactly how this makes me look to my father.
Does he get copies? Instantly, whenever there's a large violation.
The server sends it, then automatically suspends the company credit card of the violator.
Seriously? My card's suspended? It only takes a week to reactivate.
A week? No.
I have a huge dinner tomorrow night.
Betty, phone? Daniel Meade's office.
Yes, sir.
Yeah, I'll tell him.
That's your father.
$20,000 of miscellaneous expenses? Yesterday I defended your fiscal responsibility to Wilhelmina Slater.
She's gunning for publisher.
You know that? She thinks you need financial supervision.
Is she right? No, sir not from her.
I'm not so sure.
I think you've gone soft on my money.
I think you've got something to prove to me.
So here's what I'm gonna do- I'm gonna eat the 20 grand, call it an accounting error.
Thank you.
But this month, you're gonna use your own money.
See how responsible you are when it's coming out of your own pocket.
Oh, that's terrible.
Did Bradford say anything to you? He said Some people are questioning Daniel's ability to handle company finances.
He's had some problems in the past.
And that was just the tip of the iceberg You only have $327 left in your account? But you're a Meade.
A poor Meade.
I blew through my trust fund like-like- I was Michael Jackson.
- I need this job, Betty.
- Well, you just got paid.
It barely covered the rent on my loft.
I've been living off the company credit card, okay? I'm broke.
You have to entertain Oshi tomorrow night.
Maybe you should just tell your father.
What, and look fiscally irresponsible? If I tell dad that's all I have left, he'll make Wilhelmina publisher so fast, it'll make your head spin, and it'd be like handing the magazine over to her.
No.
This is our secret.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, we can work our way out of this.
It's like my dad always says, "it's not how much you have.
It's how you spend it.
" We'll think of something.
I don't know how that phony expense report got into my files.
I'm furious at you, Marc.
See that it never happens again.
Oh, the witch and her flying monkey set you up.
Yeah, I get that now.
Publisher? That would make her more powerful than Daniel.
Oh, god forbid.
Right.
Well, there's not much left, but I did manage to save one or two goodies.
And you don't need to be a size 6 to carry a nice bag.
It's the Gucci bag.
Wow, that's beautiful.
It matches your dress.
It's not for me, Betty.
- It's for you.
- No, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
It's your first swag, so you get the first pick, and believe me, you really do need a new purse.
Go on.
Do you know? I believe that fashion is good for the soul, for just how it makes you feel.
And you'll be amazed at the respect a designer label brings you around here.
Well, it's the nicest thing I've ever owned.
Thank you.
Just don't put your crayons in it, okay? A watch? Christina said it's not really that expensive, but they did use it in a James Bond photo shoot.
Suarez Ignacio Suarez.
- Hilda - Ooh, what is it? It's a scarf! Oh, it's beautiful! It's Hermès! Yeah, I know that.
And, Justin Oh, my god.
It's a Burberry belt.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I've gotta call all my friends.
No, no, you don't! Justin! That reminds me of your mother's handbag, the one she gave to you, remember? You used to carry it everywhere.
It was almost as big as you were.
I remember.
Man, how she loved that bag, said it made her feel beautiful.
Oh, dad, I went to the pharmacy this morning, and Maria wouldn't do it.
How much was the prescription? Almost $200.
Well, that is a beautiful bag and this this is a wonderful watch.
- Nice bag.
- Thank you.
- Can I touch it? - Yeah.
My bag.
- She's got my bag.
- I found it.
- You were hiding it for her.
- Oh, don't be a spoilsport.
- She doesn't deserve a Gucci bag.
- Oh, and you do? She won't know what to do with it.
Look, it's touching polyester.
I think she's wearing it rather nicely, actually.
Oops.
Yes, I'm trying to apply for a new platinum card.
There seems to be a problem.
Daniel Meade.
Yes, that's right.
"Mode" magazine.
Mm-hmm.
I see.
Uh, well, how about a gold card, then? Silver? Come on.
I'm running out of colors here.
Can you help me out? You know, that's entirely uncalled- Apparently, my credit rating's lower than that of most convicted felons.
Nice bag.
Vuitton? Gucci, from the closet and inside, my list of 300 very fun things to do in New York City for under $300, and I think it's very good.
He's here! He's here, he's here! Oshi's on his way up! He's here.
The master of minimal, the king of clean Marc the champagne.
Ohayo gozaimasu, Oshi-san.
Good morning.
I'm very thirsty.
Are you? We have fresh coffee.
I am very thirsty for some champagne, Oshi, are you? Wilhelmina.
- Champagne.
- Kampai, darling.
- Kampai.
- Kampai.
Daniel Meade I will be fitting my spring collection on my Models today and tomorrow.
Tomorrow evening I will return to do a showing for you and your editors.
We will use your tube entry for our runway walk.
I like it round, white, minimal.
Then we will drink champagne, and you will take us out for a wonderful meal.
After that, we will talk business or not.
He said "a wonderful meal.
" He's expecting a wonderful meal.
Well, I'd be happy to pick up the tab, Daniel.
I can treat.
Of course, then you'd have to invite me to the dinner.
She knows I'm broke.
She knew before she met with my father.
Daniel, I don't think it's really a good idea to let Wilhelmina pay for dinner.
I mean, the japanese are very attuned to nuance, and it would appear that you're not in charge.
Oh, right, I-I get it, okay? But I don't have a choice, right? I mean, if I use Wilhelmina's expense account, she gets credit for keeping Oshi, and my father knows I'm broke, but if I don't use her, we risk losing Oshi, and he really knows I'm broke.
Either way, I end up looking like a financial incompetent, and she gets the publisher's job.
Well, not if you can impress Oshi under $300, and there are some really great things on this list.
$300 won't buy Oshi a new scrunchie.
We could take him to the movies or, um, okay, uh, the Statue of Liberty or you know what? Walter and I had so much fun eating at Papaya Queen and riding the Staten Island ferry, really.
The ferry, Betty? Really? Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, let's forget it.
Wilhelmina got us.
This is over.
We're done.
Well, it's his own fault for spending so much.
Yeah, but I filled out his expense report.
No, no, no, no, no, you just didn't lie for him.
Listen, they're all at it.
They all cheat.
Wilhelmina, especially.
They abuse their expense accounts like it's their god-given right, and they pay us slave wages.
- Nice Gucci.
- Thank you.
Oh, it's the last salad.
That's okay.
We carb-loading for a marathon? We can't all live on laxatives.
Hey, Betty.
Seamstress.
See, the girl from styles who got my Louboutin boots- she would die to have your Gucci bag.
So here's the deal-I will trade you my season tickets to the opera for your bag.
Then I can trade your bag for my boots, and everyone winds up a winner.
The opera? She lives in Queens.
If she wants to hear fat italians screaming, she can open her window.
Betty loves her new bag.
Don't you? - Yes, I do.
- There you go, then.
Go away and throw up your celery sticks.
Shoo! Opera tickets? Christina, how much exactly is this bag worth? Retail? About $4,500.
With the pickle, however, $4,200.
Please just go home, Walter.
Leave me alone.
I'm home.
We didn't want to start without you, but it was getting cold.
I went to see Maria.
She gave you 15 refills.
got her to give you 15 refills? Where's your Gucci? - Betty - It's okay.
It was swag, part of my wages.
That witch blows 25 grand in Rio, and you've gotta give up your purse- - Hilda, it's okay.
- No, it's not okay, Betty.
Well, that's the way it is.
I got it.
Hey.
Do you remember how angry you were when mom gave me her good purse? Yeah, well you were 3, and you used it to carry around your crayons.
I finally figured out why she gave it to me and not to you.
Díga me.
She knew how it would make me feel.
Christina says that fashion is good for the soul and when I was walking around with my Gucci today, it was like I was 3 years old again and holding mom's purse and I actually felt pretty.
I know, mama.
Well, you had to do it, Betty.
No matter how much you loved the bag, - you did the right thing.
- I know.
So then you went and got a bag from the corner guy? Are you kidding me? No, that thing costs, like, $200.
I just kept thinking about what Hilda said, about how unfair it was that Wilhelmina goes to Rio to spend $25,000 on props and extras.
We couldn't even afford medicine for my dad.
Totally, and you have no idea how they pad their expenses.
Don't stop on my account.
Well, that's exactly what I was thinking.
So I told Justin to bring me his issue with the Rio spread, and he did.
Hello.
Where's the Gucci? I didn't want to get another pickle on it.
Okay, so I realize the opera tickets were totally inappropriate.
Here is a menudo box set and a coupon for 100 taquitos.
What? - I don't have much time.
- That makes two of us.
I need to see Wilhelmina's expense report from the last issue- the real one.
That's against company policy.
Coffee and a bagel? Mmm need a real reason.
There was a $25,000 charge made to the Casa Brazil - under "props and extras.
" - And? Show me the props and extras.
Models on a beach wearing bikinis-sand, water, boobs.
This could've been shot for next to nothing.
Okay, so maybe she was padding.
Everybody pads a little.
A little? Daniel, $25,000? That's my family's rent for a year.
Betty, I can't question the creative director of a major fashion magazine.
Who's hiding a huge expense under "props and extras.
" It's not right, and it's not right when you do it, either.
Point taken, but Oshi's due in two hours.
If we take Wilhelmina down- Then they cancel her company credit card.
She can't pay for Oshi, and your father will never make her publisher.
And I'm left with $327 to entertain Oshi and his entire entourage.
Then ditch the entourage.
Only take him to dinner, and don't tell me that $327 isn't enough.
Okay.
All right, and how do we prove Wilhelmina cheated? Hmm? Am I invited to the dinner, Daniel? I don't think Masa allows dishwashing as a form of payment.
Actually, Wilhelmina, I was thinking of something a bit more private.
Were you? Oshi-san in the spirit of minimalism, and to honor your collection, uh, I was thinking we might have our dinner one-on-one.
You and me, alone, so we can get to know each other.
Alone? No.
No, no.
Oshi is Oshi.
I'm sorry.
There wasn't another way in.
- Where's Henry? - Meeting with your father.
Is there any way to hold them off? Why? Because Oshi is Oshi, and we have $300 to feed 15 people.
I mean, if we want him to stay at "Mode," we have to invite Wilhelmina along.
No.
No, no, then you lose, Daniel.
You can't just give up without a fight.
Yeah, but we don't have a plan "b," Betty.
I don't have a choice.
It's so minimal, it's nothing.
Yes, yes.
Simple is better.
Round white minimal.
Round, white - Minimal.
Kampai, Oshi.
- Kampai.
Brilliant collection-brilliant in its simplicity.
- It's minimal, it's white- - It's crazy.
You can't be serious.
It might work, Daniel, and we have to try something.
No, we don't, Betty.
It's over.
Party time, Daniel.
Oshi's ready for more champagne.
Uh, well, we could drink more champagne at Masa, Oshi.
Isn't that right, Wilhelmina? I would love to come.
I'm famished, Oshi, aren't you? Oshi's hungry, okay? Very hungry.
But he and your father will know who paid the bill.
Shall we move on to dinner? Actually, Wilhelmina, I think you have more pressing business.
May we see you for a moment? Bradford? It's about the last issue's shoot in Rio.
Uh was there a problem? I don't mind paying for props and extras, but I take great exception at financing your brazilian butt lift.
I'm sure you'll all have a wonderful dinner without me.
Stop looking at it.
It may as well be Oshi walking out the door.
We have a plan "b," Daniel.
You think so, Betty? I think we're screwed.
This better work, Betty.
He likes round, he likes white, he likes minimal.
It's perfect.
Daniel? Taking him somewhere special? Someplace unique.
Just remember you're on your own dime.
Kinda hard to forget, dad.
Make sure you don't lose him.
He won't.
Good luck returning my ass! Oshi want to know where we are going.
- New Jersey.
- New Jersey? Holy crap.
This is a disaster.
I can feel it.
Daniel! Yes, Oshi? What place is this? Where have you brought me? It's called the White Tassel.
It's clean, white, minimal.
Round food inside.
Minimal.
He likes it.
Oshi likes it.
We've got exclusives for his next four collections.
"Minimal, Daniel.
" Yeah.
Yeah.
Thanks, dad.
No, you have no idea how much I appreciate that.
Okay, yeah.
He's reactivating my company credit card.
Yes! He's tough, but he's fair.
And thanks for the lesson.
It's not how much you have.
It's how you spend it.
Yeah, I was thinking more like the one about not giving up.
Forget about it.
Good night, Betty.
Good night.
Betty.
I know.
"Walter, go away.
" It's just a knockoff.
It's wonderful.
Nice bag.
It truly is.
Okay, forget the opera tickets.
Forget the taquitos.
Final offer-body wax at natrique and a weekend at my parents' house in the Hamptons.
No sale.
Full body wax.
That includes the back! Okay, it's yours for one of the fake Guccis the guy's selling around the corner, and a huge favor to be named a later date.
You won't fool anyone with a phony.
- I'll take my chances.
- Seriously? I think I'm beginning to learn the way it works around here.
Then deal.
So he took Walter's phony and bought you a new phony.
And still owes me a huge favor.
Well, what happens when he finds out? Ah, well, you see, that is the genius.
Because Marc would never admit to being duped- not by Betty.
Exactly.
Well, that's it.
I've only been here a short time, but I feel like I made some good friends, and I learned a lot.
Hey, this is just the beginning.
I know.
I just wish it didn't feel like the end.
See ya.
I'm really gonna miss her, you know?