Who's the Boss? (1984) s01e11 Episode Script

Isn't this great? It's the perfect time of the year for a barbecue.
This is what you call invigorating.
It's what you call stupid.
It's freezing.
- Hey, Tony, the buns are frozen.
- So are mine.
Hello, hello.
I'm home.
Are you all crazy? It's freezing out here.
Well, don't tell us.
Tell Nanook.
Come on.
Let's go back into the igloo.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
You'll leave me to finish the barbecue all alone.
No problem.
We'll stay where we are.
- I'll get it! - I'll get it! Oh, he beat us.
- We're here.
- We're here.
We're staying right here with you.
- Oh, hello.
- Hi.
Is your mom at home? Well, would you mind going to get her for me? I'm a vice-president of Wallace and McQuade.
That's nothing.
My mom's president.
Yeah, I know.
Would you just tell her that Jim Peterson is here? Oh, I've heard of you.
Do you really bite people's backs? Jim, what a pleasant surprise.
Sweetheart, why don't you go out and help Tony.
Okay.
- Cute kid.
- Thank you.
But, Jim, what are you doing here? Well, I was just on my way home and I thought that you might like to see the market research we did on the Mortonson account.
How thoughtfuI.
Besides if I'd sneaked out early like you did I'd have missed hearing the big news.
Well, see you.
- Hold it, Jim.
- Yeah? What big news are we talking about? Oh, you know, your friend, Grant, is leaving and there's a new chairman of the board coming in.
- Grant is leaving? - You didn't know? Where did you hear this? I don't think I can tell you that.
Ah, yes, the executive men's room.
Who said it? I don't know.
Some guy wearing penny loafers.
Now, there's a source.
I'll get that.
Jim, what you heard was just a washroom rumour.
I can assure you if Grant were leaving I'd be the first person to hear about it.
Angela, it's for you.
It's Grant.
Excuse me.
Oh, hi.
Hi.
I don't think we've met.
I'm Jim Peterson, vice president.
- Tony Micelli, housekeeper.
- Housekeeper.
Is that what they're calling it these days? Are you saying what I think you're saying? No, no, no.
Absolutely not.
Grant is leaving.
Yeah? So, what's that mean? Grant appointed me president.
Some new board chairman could un-appoint me.
And Jim Peterson came all the way over here just to rub your nose in it, huh? He bites backs, rubs noses.
What a weirdo.
Jonathan, you're so literaI.
Well, he's been on my case since I was appointed president and he wasn't.
This guy sounds like bad news.
Why don't you throw him out? Tony, you can't fire a man just because he's ambitious.
Who said anything about firing? I said, throw him out.
Tony, you don't understand.
This is business.
Jim Peterson is a vice president.
Now, he's entitled to some respect, even if he is slime.
- I think you can handle this turkey.
- I don't know.
He's gonna do everything he can to get in with this new guy.
He's reaI good at being one of the boys.
Drinks Scotch, talks sports.
He knows all the dirty jokes.
- Well, I can help you there.
- Mother.
I just wish there was some way I could get to this new guy first.
Why don't you invite him over here for some party or something.
Show him what kind of class act you are.
An officiaI welcome party.
I like it.
I'll invite all the vice presidents.
- Except for that bum, Peterson.
- Oh, no, no.
I'd have to invite him too.
Well, except he's going to Buffalo for some family thing.
Oh, yeah, when? Next Sunday.
The night of my party.
All right, all right.
Come on, let's get this barbecue on the road.
- All right.
Hey, look at this.
- Come on.
Who said this ain't a great time of year for a barbecue? Are you kidding me? Excuse me.
I got it.
So, Angela, where's this loser you fixed me up with tonight? Mother, Harold Sternman is not a loser.
- I got it.
- His wife just died.
He's nice.
He's the best vice president the accounting department has seen in a long time.
Oh, great, so I'm gonna have a wonderfuI evening making small talk with a bereaved accountant.
Mother, that's him.
Come on.
Harold, hi.
I'd like you to meet my mother, Mona Robinson.
Well, how do you do? Getting better all the time, thanks.
If you had told me your mother was such a fox I would not have been so fashionably late.
Oh, speaking of late, I am so sorry about your loss.
These things happen.
- Would you like a drink? - I'd love a drink, Harold.
The bar is right over here.
- I got, I got.
- That's gonna be them.
- How do I look? - You look terrific, Angela.
Just like one of the guys.
Well, I mean reaI presidentiaI, you know.
Hello.
You must be the McKennas.
Hello, I'm Angela Bower.
- Please come in.
- How do you do? - Can I take your coat? - Thank you.
Okay.
This is nice.
I hope it doesn't eat much.
It was so nice of you to have this little party for us.
Yes, Angela, very thoughtfuI.
We wanted you to feeI welcome.
At Wallace and McQuade, we like to think of ourselves as one big happy family- Well, that's very nice.
Where is the hooch? Well, hello again.
I'm your happy hooch man.
What'll it be? White wine and Scotch.
And what for the lady? - So I hear you're from Chicago.
- That's right.
Home of the Bears.
- Bears? - The Bears, yeah.
You kidding? They look good this year.
That Payton, he's having one hell of a year.
- At least that's what Angela says.
- One hell of a year.
I'll get that.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Would you like to meet the vice presidents? Well, they're all here except for Jim Peterson.
Unfortunately, he couldn't- Mr.
and Mrs.
McKenna, what an honour.
Jim, I thought you had something else.
Just my parents' 50th anniversary.
I'll catch them next year.
Anyway, it's not like I was invited.
Hi.
Jim Peterson, executive vice president.
Mrs.
McKenna, it's such a pleasure to meet the woman behind the great man.
You know, I've been a fan of yours ever since you did that storm-window campaign.
You remember that? That was 12 years ago.
Well, I never forget a great jingle.
When the wind's in your face Snow's all over the place Just call Central Storm Window They're down in the nick They'll fix you up quick You'll never be freezing again When the wind's in your face Snow's all over the place Just call Central Storm Window C- E-N-T-R-A-L Storm Window Legend.
Legend.
You know, he majored in music.
Let me guess - Princeton? - Remarkable.
Oh, just a shot in the dark.
Say, you wouldn't happen to play handball.
Don't bet on it, Jim.
McKenna's the name, handball's the game.
I'll be darned.
Ms.
Bower, can I trouble you for a minute? - Not now, Tony.
- I think this is the right time.
Will you excuse me? What's wrong? A problem in the kitchen? - No, you're blowing it out here.
- Beg your pardon? You're letting this Peterson take over.
I can hold my own with him, thank you very much.
Green Bay is washed up.
The team's gonna have to rebuild.
- What do I say? - Say the Jets are looking good.
Ryan's threading needles, and Ramsey's kicking us to the Super BowI.
I really don't know that much about the AFC.
The Jets look good.
Ryan's threading needles and Ramsey's kicking us straight to the Super BowI.
You don't say.
What do you think about New England? Oh, it's beautifuI this time of year.
He puts on his glasses, looks around and says, "Who's next?" - What will it be? Same thing? - Yeah, might as well celebrate.
My day is finally dawning.
With Angela's free ride leaving the company I think the board of directors, under McKenna - will finally come to their senses.
- Wait.
What do you mean "free ride"? - Angela earned her position.
- I don't doubt that at all.
I just wonder what she had to do for Grant to earn it.
Well, I mean, it's common knowledge.
And you hung that tulip paper in the bathroom yourself? - I did.
I did.
It's very simple- - Lovely tour.
Now, where is that Peterson fellow? - Ladies and gentlemen, a toast to- - That's it.
Let's go.
- Come on, paI, let's go.
- Wait.
Wait a minute.
Do you have any idea who I am? I am vice president of Wallace and McQuade! - Party's over.
- Vice president! To absent friends.
You know, that looked like Jim Peterson - getting thrown out of here.
- Oh, my God.
- Tony! Tony, what are you doing? - I'm throwing out the garbage.
How could you do such a thing?! Jim? Jim? Jim.
Tony, I demand an explanation.
- And I demand an apology! - You forget about it.
- You ain't getting one.
- I'd like to know what's going on.
Jim, you must have said something to this man to get thrown out the door.
It was just a little disagreement over football.
Angela, that's not true.
Is he calling me a liar? No, no, no.
That's not what he meant.
Is it, Tony? Well, then you tell us, Tony, what was the disagreement about? It was about football, just like he said.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
Excuse me.
Jim, I I think I'll call it a night.
Thank you, Mrs.
Bower, for a very interesting evening.
Lovely wallpaper, really.
Yeah, I'll walk you to the car.
And tell Tony I can find the door myself.
Well Wait a minute.
- Robin- - Sorry, I can't stay.
- Angela, lovely party.
- Robert.
Ted.
No, wait.
Stay.
I have cake! Give it up, Angela.
Listen, this whole thing will probably blow over.
Yeah, sure.
Just chalk it up to experience, Angela.
I've given parties that were a flop before.
Of course, nothing quite like this, but - Thank you, Mother.
- Come on, Harold let's go catch the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Oh, boy, and I've got my garter belt out in the car.
Good night, dear.
Good night.
It was a lovely party.
Good night.
You.
Hi, Angela.
Hey, you want some cake? We got plenty.
How dare you destroy my party and humiliate me in front of McKenna and all because of some stupid argument over football! I wouldn't throw nobody out over football.
- Basketball? Hockey? - Hockey, maybe.
But you don't know what he said.
- Tell me what he said.
- I can't tell you what he said.
In this entire universe, there's only one person I have ever told you not to throw out, and you go and throw him out! That's some coincidence, huh? I am pulling rank.
This is your employer speaking.
I want you to tell me what he said.
All right.
He said you were a two-bit tramp.
You slept your way to the top, and you do your best work in the sack.
- He said that? - Yeah, and then he got nasty.
All right, egg fans.
- It is now chow time.
- All right.
- You ready? - Yeah.
- All right.
- These eggs look yucky.
Do I have to eat them? No, no, no.
Don't eat them.
No, no.
Eat these.
Tricky, isn't he? - Anybody home? - Hey, Mona.
You want some breakfast? No, I don't want breakfast.
I want gossip.
What happened? Where are you working next week? Well, it's not that bad, but she was really mad last night.
Well, can you blame her? I mean, you do take football seriously.
But as far as I'm concerned, Tony, your team is my team.
Where is she? She hasn't come down yet.
She hasn't come down yet? It's 7:30.
She's gonna miss her train.
Jonathan those eggs look yucky.
Yeah, I'm glad they aren't mine.
- Angela? - Go away.
- What? - Go away.
Are you all right? Are you all right? I said, go away.
What are you doing? You're gonna be late.
I'm not going to work.
I'm sick.
My head hurts, my throat hurts, my nose is running, and I want my mother.
Here I am, dear.
Here I am.
You want me to make you some nice tapioca pudding? Yeah.
You don't have much fever.
Look at that.
But I didn't leave it in long enough.
I'm burning up.
FeeI me.
- Who, me? - Don't you have things to do? Like getting the kids off to schooI and looking for another job? - Come on, Angela.
- Don't pay any attention to her.
Now, Angela, you know what's wrong with you.
You're upset because your party was a flop and you were embarrassed in front of the vice presidents.
You don't want to go in and face them.
And who can blame you? You think this nose is psychosomatic? I got this dumb cold from Tony's Antarctic barbecue.
Come on, Angela, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I ruined your party.
You ruined my party, you ruined my career, you ruined my life.
At least you have your health.
Gesundheit.
I'm gonna- I've got some- I'm gonna go.
Jonathan, today after schooI, I'll teach you how to throw a perfect spiraI.
Really? Why? Because I like you.
If you happen to bump into your mom, give her a message for me.
- What? - Tell her not to fire my Dad.
You guys ready for the schooI bus? - Yep.
- No.
I have to brush my teeth.
The kid's overtrained, Dad.
- Honey, lemon, and garlic? - Yeah.
- Who's sick? - Angela, and it's my fault.
What happened? Last night, some guy gets out of hand at the party, right, so I do what I think is right.
I know you're going to find this hard to believe, Sam but your father screwed up.
Oh, Dad, don't worry about it.
I do it all the time.
And I'm gonna tell you the same thing you tell me.
- Yeah, what? - Young lady you march up there and apologize.
It's a good call.
But I did that already and I don't think apologizing is going to help with this Peterson guy.
So maybe you should apologize to him.
Don't you have to brush your teeth, Sam? Okay, I get it.
Butt out.
I'm just the kid around here.
No, no.
Wait a minute.
Sit down.
Sit down.
I'm listening.
I'm just not sure I'm buying.
See, let me tell you.
This guy Peterson said a lot of creepy things.
- So why should I apologize to him? - Well, Dad, I really like it here.
Let's face it, you're on thin ice.
Yeah, well, I wouldn't do it just to save my taiI.
But what about Angela's taiI? - You're right.
- I know.
You're tough, but you're right.
Thanks, Sam.
You really helped me straighten this one out.
That's why you pay me the big allowance.
She's so cute.
I love that kid.
Let's see.
Let's put some garlic in this, yeah.
One Here we go, sweet-ums.
This is Tony's homemade cold remedy.
Come on.
Honey, lemon garlic.
He's trying to kill me.
He couldn't embarrass me to death, so he's using Italian voodoo.
Come on now, Angela.
Come on.
You can't stay underneath there forever.
Can too! Like I told you on the day you were born eventually, kid, you gotta come out.
Come on, you gotta come out and face the world, huh? Or at least Jim Peterson.
Mother? Do you know what that man said about me? Well let mommy guess.
He said you were a two-bit tramp, you slept your way to the top and you do your best work in the sack.
Who told you that? Well, unfortunately, that's what a lot of men say about women that are more successfuI than they are.
He thinks that the only reason I was promoted to president is because Grant and I were Well, you know, "friends.
" - Well, is that true? - No.
And, see, that's what I was afraid of.
So we weren't "friends.
" We were just friends.
UntiI I got the job.
Then we were "friends.
" But Peterson's making it sound like we were always "friends.
" Well Let me ask you something, Angela.
What? Are you a good president? I think I am, Mother.
I really do.
Well, I know you are, and Grant knows you are and the entire board of directors agreed with him.
And you weren't "friends" with all of them.
- Were you? - Mother! Come on, Angela, get up.
Do you think Lee lacocca's mom has to tell him to get out of bed? - Out! - Mother! No, get out.
No! Get out of bed.
I'll get that, Angela.
You just keep sneezing.
Hi, Mr.
Peterson.
Come on in.
Come on.
Come on, come on, come on.
I was told Mrs.
Bower wants to see me.
Well, she doesn't.
I do.
But I didn't think you'd come over for me.
- You're right.
- Well, wait a minute, now.
Come on.
Mr.
Peterson, look, I want to apologize.
You do? Well, it won't help.
Look, I know I was wrong.
I had no right to throw you out the other day.
Apology not accepted.
What do you want me to do, huh? Kiss your feet in Macy's windows at 12 noon? - Well - All right, okay.
Okay, I'll do it.
If it'll help Angela, I'll do it, man.
I'll beg.
The hell you will.
- Angela, I didn't see you there.
- I guess not.
Should you be coming down? You sure you're strong enough? You bet I'm strong enough.
I'm president of this company.
If you have any other ideas to the contrary, I'm warning you I'll give you a fight you'll never forget.
All right.
All right! All right! I knew that double dose of garlic would work.
And you can play handball with McKenna all you like but I have full authority to hire and fire at my discretion.
Do I make myself clear, Mr.
Peterson? Crystally.
Nice.
Anything else? Yes, Jim, there is.
- You do good work.
- Thank you.
But if I hear one more word of smutty innuendo out of your mouth, you're history.
Okay? - Okay.
- I think Tony can show you the door.
No, that's all right! He showed me last time.
- Let me- - No, I remember.
No, no, come here.
Boy, that guy can really run.
You really told him what for.
- That was more fun than tossing him.
- Yeah, it sure was.
Warm up the Batmobile, Robin.
I'm going to work.
Holy garlic breath, Angela.
Wait a minute.
Maybe you should wait another day.
And while you're at it could you call me up on the phone?