Wizards of Waverly Place s01e11 Episode Script

Yeah, l still have to write an essay so l'll get chosen to go to the World School Summit at the U.
N.
Yeah, once you said essay, all l heard was blah, blah, blah.
Okay, let's talk about my day.
Like this guy who thinks of me as a friend.
But not for long.
l have a plan.
Fascinating.
Back to me, l'm competing against this kiss-up who has no right being chosen for the World School Summit.
Seriously, you have to make your stories more interesting, because all l'm hearing is blah, blah, blah.
- Hey, Mom.
- Hi, kids.
lt's okay.
l got this.
Okay, here's my plan.
This guy and l have gone out in a group as friends, never just the two of us.
But there's a concert in Central Park and we're going as friends, but coming back as boyfriend and girlfriend.
And there he is.
My future boyfriend.
That guy? That's Brad, the guy l'm competing against.
Hey, Brad.
Can't wait for the concert.
Oh, hey, Alex.
Oh, Mrs.
Russo, let me help you with that.
Now, what kind of a world would let someone as petite and delicate as you carry such a heavy box? My world.
See? He's a kiss-up.
He's not a kiss-up.
He's good at getting what he wants.
That's one of the things we have in common.
That guy makes me so mad.
Another thing we have in common.
We both like making you mad.
Oh, hey, guys.
Max is trying wizard training exercise number five.
Again.
l can do it.
l know l can levitate this can.
That's bunk.
l can't do it.
Don't worry, buddy.
lt'll happen.
Keep working on lesson number five.
And you two, we're on lesson number 372.
Now, who can guess what these are? lt's charades.
Raiders of the Lost Ark, Yes.
No.
l'm showing different emotions.
Today's lesson is about potions that make you have emotions.
Emotion potions.
Not potions that make you move quicker or slower.
Those are motion potions.
Did you see what l just did? Yeah.
That was a crime of a rhyme.
Wow, that was lame and l'm ashamed.
Now, the most important thing to remember is when an emotion potion is shared by two people, they both experience the same emotion.
Now come on, Justin, let's give a potion a try.
Pick a potion, any potion.
Not that one.
That one.
Yeah.
Good.
That was my second choice.
Here we go.
Bottoms up.
Okay.
ln a few seconds, the spell will activate and Justin and l will become mad at each other for no reason at all.
l'm feeling kind of angry.
l think it's working, Dad.
You're the best teacher ever.
Oh, no, no.
Don't put that on me.
You're a great student and l am really proud of you.
Oh, yeah? Well, you're the best dad in the whole wide world.
How about that? l love you.
l love you more.
Yeah.
- Look at them.
- What's the big deal? l've seen them do that over the toy in the cereal box.
Yeah.
- How do l look? - Why? Because l'm gonna see Brad at school.
l've stopped with the ponytail, which says friend, and l've gone to full hair, so l can flip it like this.
Because that says girlfriend.
Mom, l don't feel so good.
Oh, honey.
You don't feel warm.
All right.
Who's doing this? Put me down.
- l'm not doing it.
- l can't.
Not me.
Why would--? - lt's me? - Yep.
lt's all you.
Hey, your full powers are here.
You're in the competition with us.
So what? l'm still gonna win and be the one that keeps his powers.
No, l'm the one who's keeping his powers.
l'm taking you both down.
Now, how do l get down? Now that your full powers are here, it's time for the hat.
- Oh, the hat.
- Not the hat.
- What hat? - Dad, that hat is so ugly.
What hat? l can't believe my mijito's ready for the hat.
Somebody tell me about the hat already.
The hat will keep your powers under control for a few days while they settle in.
Alex, give him the hat.
This? l am not wearing this thing to school.
Max, we all had to wear it.
Just do what l did.
l wore some really ugly earrings to distract from the ugly hat.
That shirt will do.
Come on, let's go to school.
There's no way l'm wearing this leaning tower of velvet to school.
Wow, what happened to our roof? lt's snowing.
Your hat.
Right, it will protect me from the snow.
No, it caused the snow.
Keep your hat on.
- Hey.
- Oh, hey, Brad.
What's that all over you? Dandruff.
Really bad dandruff.
lt runs in our family.
No, wait.
lt's snow.
l saw it snowing in there.
Oh, Brad.
You're so funny.
lf we were going in a group to the concert, everyone would laugh at you.
But it's just us two.
ln the park.
On Saturday.
ls there something wrong with your neck? l'm just real excited for Saturday.
You know what? There is something wrong with my neck.
Could you rub it for me, please? Oh, Saturday.
l forgot, l can't.
That's the night of the World Summit.
What? That was the night of the group thing with just you and me.
How are you sure you'll go to the summit? lt's not all about the schmoozing.
lt's about the work.
You haven't done anything to deserve it.
lt's always about the schmoozing, Justin.
- Nice haircut.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Thanks.
l thought l might have gone too short, but l wanted it sharp for the interviews.
Hey, you're schmoozing me.
What a jerk.
He is so cute.
He is Nice job on the essay, Justin.
Thank you, Mr.
Laritate.
Does this mean l'm gonna be the World Summit delegate? Hold your horses, buckaroo.
You still have the home interview.
Because hospitality is an important part of being a world delegate.
lt's down to you and Brad Sherwood.
And you know Brad.
He has such a way with people.
Hey, Mr.
Laritate.
How were those brownies l sent you? You remembered, no nuts.
Because of your allergies.
- You baked brownies for Mr.
Laritate? - Yeah.
l was already baking a batch for the group of seniors l read to after school, so l read to people too.
l read to preschoolers, because they need someone to read to them because they can't read.
Kudos to you, Justin.
lf only l weren't busy coaching inner-city kids, l'd do more charity work.
Compassion.
Brad, that's exactly the quality l'm looking for in a delegate to the World Summit.
Good luck, Justin.
Guess what.
lt is all about the schmoozing.
l know, but l have an idea on how l can get Brad to go to the concert with me.
Why is it always about you? lf Brad goes to the concert with me, he'll drop out of the summit and you'll be a shoo-in.
Are we on the same side? lt's a little creepy, but l think we are.
Here's the plan.
l'm gonna split a love potion with Brad.
He'll be so in love with me, he'll be dying to go to the concert with me.
We can't do that.
We're not supposed to use magic unsupervised.
You'll supervise me, l'll supervise you.
How is that unsupervised? lt'll have to do for now.
Okay, Brad's here.
Love potion time.
lf l don't see it, l can say l didn't see it.
Oh, my gosh.
Made you look.
Hey, Brad.
Your order's ready.
You might wanna start with the drink first because the sandwich is a little dry.
l didn't order yet.
Yeah, but you and l just get each other.
l know what you want.
Enjoy your drink.
Quick.
This guy needs a drink.
- No, no.
- Here, take this.
Wait.
What are you doing? - l thought he'd like root beer better.
- Here.
See? Worked like a charm.
Enjoy your sandwich.
- Free refills.
- Hey, it's mine.
That was close.
Kitchen.
Do you realize what you just did? Oh, my gosh.
l drank both halves of the love potion.
So if he didn't drink it, who falls in love with you? Oh, hello, gorgeous.
Who is that? l think you fell in love with yourself.
So what? There's a lot about me to love.
There's more now.
Oh, that's what they mean when they say you're getting a big head.
Not as heavy as you think.
Okay, we're just gonna say this: ''Dad, completely by accident, we mixed a love potion and then completely by a different accident, Alex drank both halves of it.
'' - Think he'll believe that? - Yes.
lf l can get him to drink an ''l'll believe anything'' potion.
l don't understand why Brad doesn't think of me as a girlfriend.
l'm beautiful, l'm funny, and l always smell a little bit like vanilla.
There's no way you can go out with Brad looking like that.
l'm gonna have to go back to my original plan, beat Brad fair and square with that interview.
What about me? l thought we were on the same side.
Oh, no.
That ended with the: l guess l was kind of stupid for drinking both halves of the love potion.
What did you just say? l said, l guess l was kind of stupid.
That's it.
Every time you brag about yourself, your head gets bigger.
Every time you bag on yourself, your head gets smaller.
So remember, bag, don't brag.
Oh, l get it.
Like, l can't think of anything wrong with me.
l'm gonna work on a cheat sheet of ways you can bag on yourself.
Bag number one: you're stupid enough to drink both halves of a love potion.
Max.
What are you doing? Put your hat back on.
l had it on, but people keep making fun of me.
Wear the hat for a few more days till your powers come in.
Jeez, you're in a mood.
l got a lot going on.
Brad Sherwood, you managed to outdo yourself at the home interview last night.
- Thank you.
- You better saddle up and get ready for the World Summit, buckaroo.
Oh, hello, Justin.
You still want me to come over tonight? Yes.
lt's a scheduled interview.
l'm still a finalist.
Mr.
Laritate, have you been working out, sir? Well, you look great.
Oh, my gosh.
Someone sent me flowers.
l wonder who it could be.
Me.
Guys.
Okay, so Mr.
Laritate's coming, so no one's gonna use magic.
Are we clear? You're just gonna smile and direct conversation to one of my many achievements, conveniently listed on these cheat sheets.
One, two.
Wow, this is tiny.
lf this was a list of my achievements, it would be way longer.
- Alex.
- Sorry.
''Alex doesn't play well with others.
'' You make a lot of cheat sheets.
He's here.
Ready? Hello.
l'm Justin's mom, Theresa, and it's so nice to meet you.
Hi, l'm Mr.
Laritate.
Come on in.
You know Justin, of course.
This is my daughter, Alex, and my other son, Max.
Jerry is out on the terrace cooking our steaks.
Jerry's Justin's dad.
And also my husband.
l felt the need to say both because in these modern times, you just can't assume that.
Let's sit down.
Aren't you a spirited filly? Speaking of spirited filly, you know who rode a pony by himself when he was 9? My brother Justin.
Look, l believe in being a straight shooter.
Your boy Justin is a long shot for the World Summit.
Well, let me tell you about my strengths.
My dedication to academics, my interest in geopolitics.
Of course, he knows all the words to almost all of the U2 songs.
Okay, we're done with this.
Go.
Get.
Look, l'm an upright hombre.
So l'd like to give you a fair shake.
How would you handle a situation where two delegates at the summit get into a strong disagreement? Well, first, l would-- l'll tell you what l would do.
l would use my bubbly personality to get them to both agree with me, since l'm always right.
Hey, did l show you my second-grade soccer trophy? lt's for participation.
l didn't play, but l was nice to everyone.
Here.
l do more than participate.
l'm a leader.
ln fact, l set fashion trends at school on a regular basis.
Read this.
lt's the W volume.
Oh, good.
The magic in that hat keeps your head normal size.
But what about Max's powers? l'll get it.
Brad.
You couldn't stay away from me, could you? Oh, Alex.
You get me.
That's why l brought you these chocolates.
Here.
Wow, candy.
Like what a boyfriend would give a-- - ls that Mr.
Laritate? - Come on in.
Oh, hey, Mr.
Laritate.
Nice to-- You're not here for Alex.
You're here because it's my interview night.
ls tonight the night of your interview? Well, l had no idea.
Hey, Mr.
Laritate.
Check it out.
Hey, we're the bolo boys.
Bolo ties.
Why didn't l think of that? What are you doing with your hat off? We've got Mr.
Laritate over.
And that guy.
Who's that guy? He's Brad.
He's my new boyfriend.
l'll decide who your new boyfriend is.
Mr.
Russo, did you make this salsa? lt's fresh.
You grow cilantro out on your terrace, don't you? Yes.
l like your new boyfriend.
Why is your head getting bigger? lt's not.
Maybe you're standing too close.
Oh, nice try.
You drank both halves of a potion, didn't you? Yes, but it was for a good reason.
l wanted Brad to like me more than just a friend.
So you'd be okay with a guy liking you just because he's under a spell? That's the best part.
He's not under a spell.
l messed it up, and he still brought me chocolates.
Well, then l guess everything's okay, isn't it? l don't feel like steaks.
l've got a craving for Chinese food.
Wonder who that could be.
l'll just go and see.
Who ordered Chinese food? l love Chinese food.
Alex, Justin, can l show you something? Come on.
Come on.
Does this look okay to you guys? Because l don't remember moving.
To China! We didn't do this magic, Dad.
l swear.
No, Max did.
Because he can't wear his hat, because you have to.
And we can't fix any of this right now because of all those people inside.
So why don't we get those people to go home? They're 6,000 miles away from their homes.
So, what are we gonna do? Wow, whatever Max craves, that's where the loft moves.
He does love pineapple.
Oh, l've never been to Hawaii.
Come on.
We gotta get out of here.
Come on.
Act natural.
Wow, l never expected to be entertained with food from all over the world.
This is quite the hoedown.
Spectacular.
lt's too spectacular.
There's something going on here, Mr.
Laritate.
Yeah, you better fix that hitch in your giddyup.
What Justin did was bring world cultures together, demonstrating his passion for world affairs.
You know what, Justin? These are the qualities l'm looking for.
- You're going to the World Summit.
- Oh, my gosh.
That's great.
l won? l lost? l never lose.
l came here to make sure that l won.
That's why you came here? l even bought this stupid bolo tie.
Bolo ties are not stupid.
They are the official neckwear of Arizona.
Sloppy, sloppy work.
You know, l'm gonna get my wife so we can take these lessons together.
- You can't leave.
Stay.
- What's the rush? Mr.
Laritate, could you hold on just one moment? Brad, you didn't come here for me.
You came here for you.
l wanted us to be more than friends, but you're not even a friend.
l think we should break up.
Break up? We were never going out.
Well, in my mind, we were.
But now that's all over.
How does it feel to be theoretically dumped? Brad, you can go.
And, Mr.
Laritate, thanks for stopping by.
Oh, l'll be back.
Better luck next time, Brad.
And since you think it's so stupid, you, sir, have no right to wear this.
Well, l guess since l'm free Saturday night, l can go to that concert with you.
l don't think so.
l'm nobody's second choice, because l'm a prize.
l've never noticed before, but your head's a little too big for your body.
l know.
Goodbye.
Fine.
Fine.
There's something weird about this.
And there's something weird about all you Russos.
l'm gonna find out what it is.
Well, good luck with that, Brad.
Goodbye.
Yes.
Well, congratulations on winning your World Summit dele-geek thing.
Thanks.
Sorry about what happened with you and Brad.
Oh, it's okay.
l don't know if you noticed, but he was a real schmoozer.
Oh, really? You just noticed? Dad, how long do we got to live with Big Head over here? lt could be a few weeks before it wears off.
Hey, or we could try this.
Okay.
There you go.
Now, clean this up.
Oh, that is so sweet.
- Where did all this come from? - Me.
- l thought the potion wore off.
- lt did.
What didn't wear off is how good l feel about sending myself flowers.
Who's gonna be kinder to me than me? Certainly not me.
Oh, my gosh.
l am so funny.
l didn't see that coming.