Workin' Moms (2017) s01e11 Episode Script

1 Kate: Previously on "Workin' Moms".
- Mommy, you're bleeding.
- Shit.
Frankie: What a waste of my goddamn time.
You think I liked driving you around, with your Hermes cologne? Frankie, there have been a few complaints.
So you're officially on bed rest.
I don't do bed rest.
[Engine revs, car crashes.]
Sometimes you gotta do something crazy to remember who you are.
Stop bragging and pierce my goddamn nipple.
[Pained wince.]
I think I need to leave my husband.
[Babies coo.]
The stork is taking you to Montreal.
Thank you, Val, it's very sweet.
Anne: What's sweet? I can't see anything.
How's it going over there, Annie? What's wrong with Anne? Uh, she's like bleeding, she's on bed rest.
Anne: My ass is numb, I smell weird and my brain is reeling.
God, not having clients really sucks.
Like I thought about what I'm having for lunch today four times - tuna fish sandwich.
Wait Hang in there, mama.
It's only temporary.
Anne: Yeah, temporarily ruining my life.
I gotta say guys, I'm seriously considering an abortion.
Crap, did this thing freeze? Oh, no, we're still here, Anne.
Just it sounded like you said you were thinking about an abortion.
Uh, yeah, that's 'cause I did.
I think we're all just a little taken back.
Well, I don't get it, it's only another six months? I mean, I was on bed rest my last pregnancy and I kind of enjoyed it.
Aren't you a dream? Anne: The thing is, it's not just six months.
It's the fact that our money is tied up in god knows what; Lionel, while adorable, is about as predictable as a baby boy's pee stream, and frankly, sometimes it feels like this pregnancy might be killing me.
Hey, I'm sorry, Kate, this day is supposed to be about you.
Yes, Kate! I'd love to change the subject.
Let's talk about this new job of yours.
Oh.
Well, I'll be handling the largest account at Gaze, so it's kind of a big deal.
Wow.
Woo, this is more fun to talk about! You know what won't be fun? Mommy and Me without you.
Sorry, you just go to Montreal for training or something? Uh, no, it's a total re-brand, - the job would take place there.
- For how long? - Three months.
- Three months?! Wow, uh isn't that like a six hour drive? - Or a one hour flight.
- Anne: Alicia, I'm sorry, doesn't your husband work in Alaska half the year? - Yeah, so? - So? So it's different because he's a Because he's a what, a he? - Busted! - Uh-uh.
Anne: Yes! In your face, Alicia! Yeah.
It's raining me! Yeah! - Ooh.
- Oh.
I'm a badass, badass girl I'm a badass b-b-badass girl I'm a badass b-badass girl I'm a badass b-b-b-badass girl You sure I should wear this? You know these kids don't appreciate business casual.
A well-shoulder-padded blazer is our greatest weapon in this world.
It's like I'm married to Joan Coosack.
Okay, it's 'Cusack', But it's-that's fine.
So how are you feeling? Yeah, Yeah, We're probably gonna be fine.
Probably? How you expect me to leave if you say something like that? Okay, I'm sorry.
It's gonna be great.
Maybe you guys could go for a walk? - Yeah-yeah, for sure.
- Yeah? Wait, no.
The traffic on our street has been too crazy.
Maybe you could cook something? - Something cold? - Honey, please don't treat me like one of your special needs kids.
Okay, we're gonna be fine.
You're gonna be fine.
We, we won't leave.
Snow day! [laughs.]
Woman 1: [bleep.]
I'm not afraid of you.
Woman 2: Guess what girl? What did you just say to me? - I am not afraid of you.
- Um, I made this for you.
[Overlapping arguing on TV.]
- What? - [clicks TV off.]
- I made it.
- It's a get-better card.
That's me, that's baby Jaime, those are the clouds and that's a tree.
Yeah, that's really cool.
And he's so brown and blobby.
Yeah, that's daddy.
Yeah, that's totally what he looks like.
Thanks.
[Leaves rustle in the wind.]
Mmm.
Isn't it beautiful? [Loud urine splashing.]
All right, well maybe don't look at him.
That's a lot.
[Loud panting.]
[Cell Hip Hop ringer plays.]
When we roll up on the club [Sassy tone.]
Hey lady.
She made me a card.
She loves me.
- I'm the worst.
- Who, Alice? That's great.
Why do you sound traumatized? I don't know, maybe we are connected.
You know, just in our own fucked up way.
Honey, this is good news.
Why aren't you happy? I'm thrilled for you.
I know, but I'm freaking out, Kate! - Can you come over? - Um okay, yeah.
Charlie you wanna go see Auntie Anne? - [Man panting.]
- Yeah, this park's the worst.
I'll see you soon.
What are you doing, fondling yourself? No, it's this nipple ring.
Still hurts.
Then why don't you take it out? No.
It's like the one part of me that's not a wife and a mother.
Gross.
What are you doing tonight? I don't know, being a wife and a mother? I'm going to The Silver Dollar Room.
They have extra cheap drink specials, and they have these underemployed hipsters who try to have their way with you.
It's so pathetic.
You wanna come? Mm, I don't know if I'm in the mood.
[Cell buzzes.]
Want a front row seat to my life? Sure.
- Hello? - Ian: Oh my God, babe, babe, - babe, you're gonna - What? Ian: Are you listening? I got the greatest news.
- Calm down.
- I can't understand you.
I have a meeting with a producer who's interested in "Father Daze"! So you're just gonna write a whole movie? Well, yeah.
Jenny, it's kinda in the job description, You know, as a screenwriter.
Why you dumping on this? I'm not.
I'm sorry.
That's that's great.
Hey, let's celebrate tonight - you and me.
I'll order Swiss Chalet and we can slow-bone while we watch TV.
[Gena gags.]
Um, I can't, Ian.
Ian: What? Why? It's this work thing.
It's a charity event for millennials seeking employment.
Yeah, okay fine.
Well, you know what? That's okay, it's, uh, it's good material for the film, all right? Stay at home dad, dinner for one and a half.
Great.
Yeah.
Happy to help with the material.
I'll be home later.
- Love you.
- [Phone hangs up.]
[Doorbell rings.]
[Door opens.]
Oh.
[Package rattles.]
"The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up".
Yeah, Well, Rhodes, it appears other mommy wants us to do some light reading.
Hmm.
Baby Got caught in your game You all right, buddy? [Stick smacks against window.]
[Engine hums.]
What are you doing? Let me in your car.
- You're on bed rest, dude.
- Dude.
Don't "dude-bed-rest"-me, right now.
I gotta get out of here.
C'mon I can't breathe.
Please.
[Car door unlocks.]
[Exhales.]
Yes.
[Seat whirs.]
Here we go.
[Relaxed exhale.]
And bed rest.
Are we even moving? Kate: Hey, I picked you up, okay, don't push it.
So, where to? You wanna treat or something, you want a Diary Queen.
Take me to an abortion clinic.
- Psshh.
- I'm serious.
Really? Like, really? Get your eyes on the road.
Look, I just wanna go to see how I feel when I get there, okay? Please.
Okay, I will take you to an abortion clinic, but this is a sight seeing mission only.
- Yup.
- All right.
You are gonna need to start driving faster, it feels like we're moving backwards.
You should not even be out of the house, okay? I'm taking it slow.
I would like to get there before I have this baby.
Okay, so where is this place, anyway? I don't know.
Why do you think I would know that? Because you asked to go to one.
Yeah, but I've never actually been to one.
- Have you been to one? - No.
- You know what? - I'll just Yelp one.
You're gonna Yelp an abortion clinic? - Yeah, of course.
- I guess you're right, you can sorta review anything, right? I wonder the kind of complaints an abortion clinic gets though.
Like, one star! Still pregnant! That's sick, Kate.
Should I sort it by rating or distance? Rating, obviously! I just didn't want us to get stuck in traffic - on the way there.
- Hmm, that's a good point.
[Grunts with effort.]
[Relaxed breath.]
"By acknowledging an item's contribution" and letting it go with gratitude, you'll be able to truly put the things you own, and your life, in order.
Huh? Well I wanna thank you for working these long hours, even when we weren't home.
Hey, Frankie.
You giving all this stuff away? Marie Kondo says it's the only way to domestic purity, So yeah.
Okay, but I mean, you could probably get $200 online for the Roomba.
I'm just sayin'.
Happy Wednesday.
[Footsteps thud.]
- Hi.
I'd like an abortion.
- Anne! What the hell, not what we agreed on.
- I agreed to nothing.
- You can both relax because you're not getting an abortion today.
Why not? You can't just walk in here and order one.
But this is Canada.
I can book you in for a consultation.
Fine.
Anything that gets me one step closer - to not being pregnant.
- Good.
So hi, quick thing, can I bring this in here? [Cars whoosh by outside.]
[Charlie coos.]
He's not usually this happy.
What time did they say they would how long? [Coffee pours.]
[Heavy sigh.]
- Hey.
- Jenny: Hmm.
Do you wanna cut out early? We can go by the L-CEEB, and then go to my place, start getting ready.
Won't we get in trouble for that? Well Marv, we're gonna skip out early.
- Is that cool? - Mm-hmm.
Didn't you want some coffee? No.
- Let's do it.
- All right! We can grab some condoms on the way.
Oh my God.
Stop it.
I don't need condoms.
But it might feel freeing to just have them in my purse.
So this is where it all happens.
Uh-ha.
Oh.
Okay So - who am I speaking with today? - Me.
And are you the partner? [laughs.]
No.
I'm just here to watch.
- What? - Okay? So, Ms.
Carlson, you are thinking of having an abortion? Yeah, I am.
That sounds really weird when you say it like that.
Um, is this the room that it happens in? Sometimes, yes.
The procedure has been performed in this room.
Really.
Yup.
It's kinda cold in here, you know? Not temperature wise, but atmosphere's kinda weird.
Be nice if you could light some candles.
- That might be dangerous.
- Yeah, but comforting, right? When was your last period? Does anybody know the answer to that? - Do you know your due date? - Off the top of my head?! - Anne, take a breath.
- I said, I don't know! Where are you going? I think I left the car running.
I drove.
Dude, are you okay?! Why would they make that place, so like - so clinical like that? - Well, it is a clinic.
And that lighting? What is with that lighting in there? Probably standard lighting for medical procedures.
Why are you fighting me on this? Did you not see how cold and sterile that place was? Of course I did! But Anne, what do you expect? Their job isn't to seduce you into buying a procedure.
They're not a day spa.
What they're doing in there is serious.
Right? And if it felt wrong, then it's good you now know.
But that's the thing, is that it didn't feel all that wrong.
It just felt wrong that Lionel wasn't there, you know? Yeah.
I get that.
Look, keeping a secret from your husband is no where near as fun as it sounds.
- Can you just take me home? - Yes.
Come on.
- You have to at least go the speed limit this time.
That's a hard "no".
- [Door opens.]
- [Gisele sighs.]
Mmmm.
It smells great in here! Mmm.
Yeah, it's a peasant stew.
Ah.
[Laughs.]
Mmm.
You cleaned.
Frankie: Yeah, a bit.
Oh, that book you sent? I thought it would be a good project for you to focus on.
Frankie: Mm-hmm.
Yes! What's up? I just got 250 bones for the ottoman.
Your grandmother's ottoman? But you love that thing.
Yeah, But the book says that if an item no longer brings you joy you're supposed to like thank it, and send it on its way.
To somebody who'll pay for it.
I don't think that was the point of the book, but 250 dollars is wonderful.
We could use that.
Yeah, just think about all the junk in our house, right.
Like all the books and diaries, and jackets.
Who would want to buy your diaries? People will buy just about anything if you put the right spin on it.
Sweetie, that is really, really good.
Um, quick question: why does my upper body look kinda like a big brown pile? 'Cause that's what you look like in the morning.
Okay.
Yeah, like a big pile of shit.
Poo.
Don't say that word.
It's really good, sweetie.
[Door opens.]
Where have you girls been? Yeah, call me later.
Bye.
- Anne? - I'm sorry, Lionel.
Hey, not only are you not in bed, where you are medically prescribed to be, but apparently, now you're not answering your phone.
Okay, Lionel, you're right.
I-I'm sorry.
That was not cool of me.
Where in the "F" were you? Sweetie, could you do me a favor, please? - For five dollars.
- Get upstairs now! It's okay, it's okay, It's okay.
Hey, shh.
Okay, what's going on? Did you go to the new Costco without me? I had Kate take me to an abortion clinic.
- You what? - I didn't do it! I-I just wanted to see how I felt when I was there.
We-we already talked about this though.
I mean, this is something we've gone over.
Yeah, we did talk about it.
Lionel, this pregnancy has been terrible for me.
[Exasperated huff.]
Are you even listening to anything that I'm saying? You know, I'm sorry, I'm just too busy getting over the fact that you went to an abortion clinic without me.
I didn't have the abortion.
I I just don't know if we can take another kid.
You don't? I'm sure we could handle it, I just I don't know if I want that for us.
Are you telling me that you've never thought about this? It hasn't even crossed your mind once? Sure it has, but you know what? I'm not off going to abortion clinics to see how it feels.
Okay.
So you do kind of get it? Does it even matter to you if I do? Come on, Lionel, of course it matters.
I need your help here, I need to know what you wanna do.
It's good to know you care so much about what I think.
Nice.
Charlie's at the store Charlie's at the store Said, Charlie's at the store He made a family of four Yeah, make his mark in boots Make his mark in boots I think he's gettin' chicken 'Cause he couldn't take that heat Ahhhh [Jenny laughs.]
Hey, go easy on her, she's a mom.
Shut up! [Rock song plays.]
[Low hum of chatter.]
[Muffled music booms from the club.]
[Kissing sounds.]
[Panting.]
Open your mouth.
[Spits.]
[Spits out.]
Oh god! Did you just spit in my mouth? That's disgusting! Are you sure it's not hot? It's Ryan Gosling's move.
- Jenny? - Oh, hey.
I've been looking for you everywhere.
- I thought maybe you left.
- Uh, nope.
I'm here.
Do you think maybe we should get outta here? I'm good.
Yeah, I'll get myself home.
Thanks.
Trust me, you don't wanna do this.
Gena, what the hell? Mind your own business.
Y-you know him? Oh my God.
Have you like, hooked up with all of Toronto? Excuse me? At least I'm not married with a kid.
Oh, and he's gonna try to pee on you.
Apparently it's "Ryan Gosling's move".
All right, hair straightener, check! - [Pen clicks.]
- Nail clippers, check! - Only one thing left to do - [Pen clicks.]
We should probably have sex.
Do you really want to do it? Well, want is a strong word, but 3 months is a long time.
I just feel like there's so much tension between us.
That's true.
And tension's never done anything for sex.
Go, go, go, go.
[Grunts.]
There we go.
Whoa, hold on, that's very fast.
Oh, Oh, shit.
Slow down.
- Okay, okay, okay - Shit, shit, shit Yes! [Heavy painting and grunting.]
That'll do.
[Both exhale.]
[Water runs.]
[Breathing heavily.]
[Pained.]
Okay.
[Wincing.]
[Crying.]
Ian: Jenny? Jenny.
Baby.
What's wrong? [Crying.]
Jenny, is that a nipple ring? Jenny, talk to me.
I just, I just want it out.
Okay.
Okay.
- Ready? - Hmh.
It's okay.
Come here.
We gotta, we gotta No, no, no.
All right, all right.
Okay, um [Crying.]
Bite down on this, okay? - On three? - Hmh.
One two - Three! - [Pained cry.]
[Earring clinks.]
[Crying.]
Rinse that off.
If I see these colors Thought of giving this a try You take such good care of me.
You'll wanna disinfect that.
Jenny: Ian, I'm, I'm so sorry.
I don't know what's going on with me.
I think I hear the baby crying.
Lit from underneath, I get so high