Ranma 12 s01e113 Episode Script

Oh! Wow! Is that our principal?! Look at all the gifts.
And so please, Father, attend Parents' Day on Sunday at my school, the St.
Hebereke School for Girls.
What? Why is she calling you " Father," Saotome? I didn't do anything--! Where there's smoke, there's fire.
Smoke gets in your eyes.
"Camptown ladies sing this song Doodah, doodah.
" After Parents' Day, I'll treat you to an elegant French meal.
Well, since it's such an earnest request-- You're impossible.
Why ask this loser? You got your own dad.
Yes, I hear he's the principal of Furinkan High School.
A bit conservative, perhaps? Brother dear!! What's the big idea? I had this tux made by Pierre Gardin just for your Parents' Day.
What other big brother would go to so much trouble? Of course, I don't expect thanks for it.
As your big brother, I mean, surrogate father I'm only doing what's right.
Ah, why am I such a sweet guy? But Brother dear Why didn't you tell me about Father?! Father? Why, whomever do you mean? Why do you still deny it? Isn't the principal of Furinkan High our father? That's only what he claims.
I've never accepted it.
I have a father.
Moreover, he's the principal of prestigious Furinkan High.
An upright and distinguished man! If you only knew! I simply must meet him! Master Kuno, someone to see you, sir.
Now?! Who is it?! A-Actually, it's your father, sir.
Drat! What does he mean, coming here like this?! I'm kicking him out! Kodachi! You stay here-- Huh? Mistress Kodachi has already gone to welcome him.
Why didn't you tell me?! Sorry, sir! I can't let Kodachi and Daddy meet! Ever! Father You are my father, aren't you? Oh, Kodachi! I ree-ly missed you! Father! "Kocchi"! The day has finally come for them to be a family! Don't ever go away again.
No worry! Now I come back.
You not suffer enny more! Intruder! Take this! It's too noisy here.
Let's talk inside, Father.
I wanna talk with Tacchi.
One moment, pleeze.
Let me make some tea, then.
Don't be long.
Fa-ther dear-est.
What're you doing to my room?! Dese t'ings in da way, da way.
Give them back! Now, now!! Whose side are you on, anyway?! Well, of course-- Da head of da house is me, da papa! I can hire you or fire you! Sorry, sir-- Head of the house?! I never agreed to that! Respect fo' papa wuz Japanese tradition! But tradition disappeared wen keiki grow hair long! What?! Cut 'em, cut 'em, cut 'em! Father! The tea is ready! Hokay! I don't remember Kodachi ever smiling at me like that.
Why not join them, sir? I know they want to invite me, the head of the house.
What you reading now, Kocchi? Oh, Heine?! Please read some t'ing for Daddy.
"Beautiful though the glow of setting sun more beautiful the sparkle in your eyes.
" Oh, beeyoo-tiful poem! You were living in Hawaii all this time?! Yes! I wuz teaching at college in Hawaii.
I wanted fo' see you real bad, Kocchi.
But Hawaii college ees bery scary place! Dey nevah lemme leave because of teacher shortage! Oh, Kocchi! I miss you! I wuz bombed and bombed, but I escaped.
finally I come home to Japan.
How you've suffered, Father.
No, no, no.
I do anyt'ing fo' see you.
I know, Father! Let's go on a boat ride! Dat sounds nice! Perhaps Kodachi does need a father.
The head of the house sits there! That's me! Tacchi, I come back awreddy.
Head of da house ees me.
What?! I've never accepted you as the head of the Kuno house! How awful, Brother dear.
You're jealous, aren't you? What?! That's absurd! Now that Father is back it's only right for him to be head of the house.
Please obey him.
Oh, no! Master Kuno, please bear it for now.
Pardon! Master Kuno! I was nearly fooled.
His true intent is to win Kodachi over and usurp the Kuno house.
I nearly gave in to Kodachi's longing for a father.
Kuno, you still lack training.
But you'll never have your way, Principal.
What? Trouble in the Kuno family? Yes.
I can't divulge the details but Master Kuno is fighting Mistress Kodachi and their father.
It must be rough on Kuno.
Kuno needs roughing-up sometimes.
Ranma! The Principal's despicable, though.
Showing up now, after all these years! Saotome, aren't you just saying that because you'll miss out on Parents' Day? You're nuts! I'm just saying how a parent should behave! But weren't you looking forward to that sumptuous French dinner? Shaddap, Tendo! - Shaddap! - This is hopeless.
Sorry for the trouble.
Just a minute.
Yes?! You'll help me, won't you?! Another cup of tea? Thank you, miss.
I've served the Kunos for over twenty years.
Through thick and thin.
This is mine! It's mine! You can have it, Brother dear.
No, you can have it.
No, you take it.
You take it, I said! They say children grow up even without parents.
But it was because Master Kuno and Mistress Kodachi's love for one another! Didn't the Principal run out on them only three years ago? How awful it must've been for Kuno.
Admirable! Most admirable! I don't like the looks of this.
Rats.
So what should we do? You have an idea, don't you? If I had, I wouldn't have asked you for help.
You just want us to stop them from fighting, right? Yes! And please make all of them live happily ever after.
We can't work MIRACLES! Ranma! How does this feel, Father? Ow--! I mean, oh, nice! It's always been my dream to massage your shoulders.
- Fukuda Tailors, ma'am.
- Oh.
Here's the tuxedo you ordered.
What fast work! Thank you! We'll be waiting for your next order, ma'am.
Kodachi! That was thoughtful.
You had a new tux made for me? You're such a kidder.
Hey! Dat my tuxedo? Kocchi, how you like? You look wonderful in it! What about Parents' Day? I asked Father to attend, of course.
Accept him, accept him not.
Accept him, accept him not.
Accept him, accept him not.
Accept him.
A brother can never take the place of a father.
I can lose graciously! Sasuke! Where are you?! You called, Master? I'm moving out! Lend me a hand.
But why should you move out? There can be only one father in this house.
Can't you see that I want my sister to be happy? You're leaving for Mistress Kodachi's sake? A family doesn't need more than one head of the house.
What a wonderfully kind man I am! Upperclassman Kuno! Akane Tendo! You came because you were worried about me, didn't you? All right, Sasuke! We're moving into Akane Tendo's house! N-Now see here-- I knew you'd run with your tail between your legs.
Ranma Saotome! What're you doing here?! I just came to watch you run away.
Ranma! I'm not running away! Sasuke! We're not moving! Yes, sir.
See? It worked, right? I didn't really think so.
You! Pigtails fo' boys against da school rules.
Cut 'em, cut 'em, cut 'em! Shave, shave, shave, shave! What was that for?! You didn't come to fight, did you? Ranma Darling?! You were worried about me, weren't you? Let me introduce you.
This is my father.
Hi! I'm Kocchi's papa! Father, this is my fiance, Ranma Saotome.
In your dreams! Oh! You Kocchi's fiance? We stop fighting.
Hey! Give my hair back! Tacchi, boys no cry ovah a few hairs! It's more than a "few" hairs! I nevah raise you to be dat petty.
You never raised me at all! Hokay! Now I t'ink we bettah fight an' settle dis! That's just what I want! Defeat me, and I'll accept you as my father! Oh, Father and Brother are fighting! Ye gods and little fishes, whatever shall I do?! Da witness isyou! Fine! Ranma! They might as well settle it once and for all! I think I asked the wrong people for help.
I don't know whom to root for at all! I know! Good luck to you both! I not goin' hold back, not even fo' you, Tacchi! Right! Ready! Go! Cut 'em, cut 'em, cut 'em!! Why must they fight? It's so brutal! Oh, no! You goin' fight yo' own papa fo' real?! What? You still no unnerstan' how I feel? I planned dis fight so dat you look good! Is that true? Snip, snip! You dirty--! Winning ees everyt'ing.
Oh, no! You goin' fight your own papa fo' real?! It won't work twice! Stop! Come back! Gotta hurry You know why I wuz so strict wit' you? Stop your babbling! Da answer ees down deah! What? L'il bit closer pleez, Tacchi.
I see only the ground.
You still don' know? Da lioness push her cub off da cliff! I wanted you fo' be strong! Thass why I was mean an' strict wit' you! I see! So that's it! You unnerstan' now? My wonderful father and wonderful brother! Now the Kuno family will be secure!! The lioness pushes her cub off a cliff? In oddah words, like dis! Father! Please stop fighting over me! I stop.
I goin' back to school whea my dear students wait fo' me! Father! I have many students.
But and but Tacchi have only Kocchi! I understand, Father.
Hey! You okay? I'll never accept that wretch as my father! I want you to attend Parents' Day, Brother dear! What? Is that true?! Hoora--! Huh?! Master Kuno! Don't blame me.
Basket cases, all three of them.
They're related, without a doubt.
Brother dear, please hurry.
Parents' Day will start soon! But I can't-- And so Master Kuno attended Parents'Day as usual as his father's representative and baggage-carrier.