Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s01e12 Episode Script
Evicted!
[mouse squeaks .]
[penguins chirp .]
[all cheering .]
[screeches .]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the human The fun will never end lt's Adventure Time JAKE: And as it waded through the carnage it had wrought, the vampire smashed their skulls just for the fun of it! No way! Yes way! lt did! And, also, the vampire hunched over its victims and breathed their vaporized blood mist! [warbling .]
Ah, geez! Jake, is this stuff you're saying true, or are you just trying to mess me up? You have to be honest.
Oh, it's true, man.
l heard it through a reliable source.
Reliable? Rats.
Yeah, some say it haunted this very tree! - This tree?! - Good night! - Jake! - [warbles .]
You're full of it, Jake! JAKE: [warbling ominously .]
[creaking .]
[grunts .]
[croaking .]
[gasps .]
[warbling .]
No worms on the bed! [warbling stops .]
[sighs .]
[tapping .]
Huh? [tapping .]
Huh? [thunder crashes .]
[screams .]
Jake! Jake! l saw someone outside the window! lt must be the vampire, and l think we're unprepared, so l -- Relax, buddy.
l made that story up.
l was just trying to scare you.
But you said you heard it from reliable source.
[chuckles .]
l made that up, too.
l was trying to scare you, and it worked! [laughs .]
Whoa! [screams .]
[breathing heavily .]
No one's outside.
Whew! lt was just the wind, scaredy-cat.
l wasn't scared.
l was slnglng.
l was singing my scream song.
Aah, aah, aah! You're a total wuss, man.
[both gasp .]
[chuckles .]
- [gasps .]
- [hisses .]
[both scream .]
Hey, guys.
What's up? l'm Marceline the Vampire Queen.
Are you gonna smash my skull and breathe my blood mist?! Don't suck our blood! [laughs .]
Calm down, weenies.
l'm not gonna do that.
So You don't suck blood? Sometimes l do, but it's not the blood that l like.
lt's the color.
l eat shades of red.
Golly! [slurps .]
[sighs .]
[laughs .]
Mmm! [laughs .]
[yawns, sighs .]
Wow, l'm exhausted.
l've been traveling all over the Land of Ooo, and l've seen some stuff that would really make you say, ''like what?'' [muffled .]
Like what? l found a School of Goldfish Beasts.
Yah! Yee-haw! And l fooled around in the Fire Kingdom.
[laughing .]
Ooh! Oh, and check these out.
FlNN: Nuts? Oh, these aren't just ordlnary nuts.
[grunts .]
[all warbling .]
[screeches .]
[warbling continues .]
[laughs .]
You're wonderful.
Yeah, uh, thank you for not sucking our blood.
You guys seem cool, too.
[yawns .]
But as you can imagine, l'm really tired, so you two should probably get going.
What? [sighs .]
Look.
''M'' for ''Marceline.
'' Oh, man.
l carved it in this tree years ago -- long before you two rascals started squatting here.
But seriously, guys, thanks for keeping the place warm for me.
Like, really great.
Thanks.
Huh? Good night! Come on, Finn, let's get out of here! She can't kick us out of our house! No, Finn, wait! Get down here, lady, and fight me! She's a vampire, dude! [laughs .]
What?! [slurps .]
[sighs .]
[grunting .]
[laughs .]
l'm gonna kill her! Dude, if half the stories l've heard and/or made up are true, vamplres wlll kill you.
There's no question.
[hisses .]
[laughs .]
But what about our home? A vampire took it! Ah, we should go house hunting -- bag us a new house.
But l like our home.
Finn, house hunting is wild! You got to try it! Really? Yeah, man.
lt is so nuts! You always know what to say.
Blah, blee, bloo, blah, blah, bloobity, blah, bloop! FlNN: Okay, l'm convinced.
Let's roll! JAKE: Sweet, things are gonna start going our way.
JAKE: Hey, look.
See? What did l tell you? [birds chirping .]
So, Finn and Jake Set out to find a new home lt's gonna be tough A kid and a dog on their own There's a little house Aww, Finn's sticking his foot in That's a bad idea, dude, 'cause now that bird thinks you're a jerk, Finn Now they're chilling on the side of a hill and thinking living in a cloud would be totally thrilling Unless they find something inside, like a mean cloud man and his beautiful cloud bride A beehive -- oh, no Don't put your foot in there, guy Y'all tried that before, and you know it didn't turn out right Big shell -- go inside Look around, it seems all right A frog jumps out and barfs a tiger, throwing down a potion for food and fire You know you should have stayed And fought that sexy vampire lady But Jake was feeling terrified He was super scared of her vampire bite Which is understandable 'Cause vampires are really powerful They're unreasonable and burnt out on dealing with mortals Oh, Marceline Why are you so mean? l'm not mean, l'm 1 ,000 years old And l just lost track of my moral code Oh, Marceline Can't you see these guys are in pain? No, l can't l'm invested in this very cute video game So, there go our boys Walking on the icy ground Heading towards their destiny l'm sure they'll figure something out This is weak! l don't even llke any of these places.
l want to go home.
Finn, let me tell you a little something about what ''home'' really means.
La la la Home isn't a place Let me give you a clue Home is anywhere where people care about you l don't want to hear a lecture, dude.
l just want to go home.
But home is where your heart is, Finn And where is your heart, Finn? Well, it's right there inside you Well, l'm sitting right here beside you With your lucky stars to guide you from above.
[fiddle playing .]
[both chuckle .]
Yeah, l guess l'd rather be out here, wrapped in your ear, than be in some awesome house all by my souse.
JAKE: l'd rather be dancing with some babes.
FlNN: Shut up, dude! JAKE: Gross.
This place looks gross.
And abandoned.
[echoing .]
And abandoned.
And abandoned.
And abandoned.
[both scream .]
[gasps .]
Whoa, bro! Want to just live in here? Yes.
So, they cleaned the cave and built a house inside the cave [sighs .]
So, what do you think, man? We did pretty good for ourselves.
Yeah, we did.
So, uh, what should we do first in our new digs? Let's trash it and throw a party! [mid-tempo music playing .]
[indistinct conversations .]
[sighs .]
This is it.
Feeling good.
Feeling -- l'm feeling like we did it.
l'm feeling, like, completely satisfied.
Nothing else can go wrong, you know, Jake? - Yeah, man.
- Oh, yeah.
l know, too.
Hey, Finn.
- [gasps .]
She's back! Wow, pretty awesome party you got here.
What do you want, Marceline? Oh, l just want to show you something.
This cave belongs to me! What?! Thanks for fixing the place up for me.
You -- you can't take our home twice! Yes, l ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-n Aah! lt's vampire-fighting time! Finn, no! Vampires will klll you, remember? But she's taking our home again! We're home as long as we're together! Blah, blah, blee, blah, bloop, remember? Oh, yeah.
Okay, Marceline, l'm gonna let you keep this cave, but only because Jake is my home.
And he's way better than all your homes combined! You know, you're right.
l guess l'll take him, too! What?! l'll bite him a little Aah! maybe turn him into a zombie.
No! - Let go of Jake! - Make me.
[grunts .]
You okay, pal? [hisses .]
No one makes me let go of Jake! l'm not scared of you! [laughs evilly .]
You're pathetic, little boy.
[grunts .]
[grunts .]
You're pathetic! [hisses .]
Get ready for an uppercut, you dog! Make me.
[laughs evilly .]
Blah, blah! Blah! l got to help my buddy! Your blood is mine! [warbling loudly .]
[grunting .]
- [gasps .]
- Uh-oh.
[laughs evilly .]
[screams .]
[breathing heavily .]
[screams .]
Ow! That actually hurt, Finn.
[laughs evilly .]
[shrieks .]
[laughs .]
Mwah! W-Why you didn't just kill me? 'Cause that was fun! Whew, l haven't fought like that in years.
Thanks, Finn.
Finn.
A-Aren't you dead? Nah, before she bit me, l used my powers to shrink all my guts and blood over to my thumb, see? [clears throat .]
You two are pretty hard core.
l can appreciate that.
So so does that mean we can have our old house back? Yeah, keep it as a gift from me! Blah! [both screaming .]
[laughs .]
BOTH: Yeah! Huh? [all croaking .]
[all warbling .]
Did you guys get on the bed? l told you, you're not allowed! MAN: Oh, hey, guys.
BOTH: Huh? Come here, friends.
Hug me.
[warbling .]
Oh, yeah.
Hug me.
[warbling.]
Come along with me And the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Come along with me To a cliff under a tree
[penguins chirp .]
[all cheering .]
[screeches .]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the human The fun will never end lt's Adventure Time JAKE: And as it waded through the carnage it had wrought, the vampire smashed their skulls just for the fun of it! No way! Yes way! lt did! And, also, the vampire hunched over its victims and breathed their vaporized blood mist! [warbling .]
Ah, geez! Jake, is this stuff you're saying true, or are you just trying to mess me up? You have to be honest.
Oh, it's true, man.
l heard it through a reliable source.
Reliable? Rats.
Yeah, some say it haunted this very tree! - This tree?! - Good night! - Jake! - [warbles .]
You're full of it, Jake! JAKE: [warbling ominously .]
[creaking .]
[grunts .]
[croaking .]
[gasps .]
[warbling .]
No worms on the bed! [warbling stops .]
[sighs .]
[tapping .]
Huh? [tapping .]
Huh? [thunder crashes .]
[screams .]
Jake! Jake! l saw someone outside the window! lt must be the vampire, and l think we're unprepared, so l -- Relax, buddy.
l made that story up.
l was just trying to scare you.
But you said you heard it from reliable source.
[chuckles .]
l made that up, too.
l was trying to scare you, and it worked! [laughs .]
Whoa! [screams .]
[breathing heavily .]
No one's outside.
Whew! lt was just the wind, scaredy-cat.
l wasn't scared.
l was slnglng.
l was singing my scream song.
Aah, aah, aah! You're a total wuss, man.
[both gasp .]
[chuckles .]
- [gasps .]
- [hisses .]
[both scream .]
Hey, guys.
What's up? l'm Marceline the Vampire Queen.
Are you gonna smash my skull and breathe my blood mist?! Don't suck our blood! [laughs .]
Calm down, weenies.
l'm not gonna do that.
So You don't suck blood? Sometimes l do, but it's not the blood that l like.
lt's the color.
l eat shades of red.
Golly! [slurps .]
[sighs .]
[laughs .]
Mmm! [laughs .]
[yawns, sighs .]
Wow, l'm exhausted.
l've been traveling all over the Land of Ooo, and l've seen some stuff that would really make you say, ''like what?'' [muffled .]
Like what? l found a School of Goldfish Beasts.
Yah! Yee-haw! And l fooled around in the Fire Kingdom.
[laughing .]
Ooh! Oh, and check these out.
FlNN: Nuts? Oh, these aren't just ordlnary nuts.
[grunts .]
[all warbling .]
[screeches .]
[warbling continues .]
[laughs .]
You're wonderful.
Yeah, uh, thank you for not sucking our blood.
You guys seem cool, too.
[yawns .]
But as you can imagine, l'm really tired, so you two should probably get going.
What? [sighs .]
Look.
''M'' for ''Marceline.
'' Oh, man.
l carved it in this tree years ago -- long before you two rascals started squatting here.
But seriously, guys, thanks for keeping the place warm for me.
Like, really great.
Thanks.
Huh? Good night! Come on, Finn, let's get out of here! She can't kick us out of our house! No, Finn, wait! Get down here, lady, and fight me! She's a vampire, dude! [laughs .]
What?! [slurps .]
[sighs .]
[grunting .]
[laughs .]
l'm gonna kill her! Dude, if half the stories l've heard and/or made up are true, vamplres wlll kill you.
There's no question.
[hisses .]
[laughs .]
But what about our home? A vampire took it! Ah, we should go house hunting -- bag us a new house.
But l like our home.
Finn, house hunting is wild! You got to try it! Really? Yeah, man.
lt is so nuts! You always know what to say.
Blah, blee, bloo, blah, blah, bloobity, blah, bloop! FlNN: Okay, l'm convinced.
Let's roll! JAKE: Sweet, things are gonna start going our way.
JAKE: Hey, look.
See? What did l tell you? [birds chirping .]
So, Finn and Jake Set out to find a new home lt's gonna be tough A kid and a dog on their own There's a little house Aww, Finn's sticking his foot in That's a bad idea, dude, 'cause now that bird thinks you're a jerk, Finn Now they're chilling on the side of a hill and thinking living in a cloud would be totally thrilling Unless they find something inside, like a mean cloud man and his beautiful cloud bride A beehive -- oh, no Don't put your foot in there, guy Y'all tried that before, and you know it didn't turn out right Big shell -- go inside Look around, it seems all right A frog jumps out and barfs a tiger, throwing down a potion for food and fire You know you should have stayed And fought that sexy vampire lady But Jake was feeling terrified He was super scared of her vampire bite Which is understandable 'Cause vampires are really powerful They're unreasonable and burnt out on dealing with mortals Oh, Marceline Why are you so mean? l'm not mean, l'm 1 ,000 years old And l just lost track of my moral code Oh, Marceline Can't you see these guys are in pain? No, l can't l'm invested in this very cute video game So, there go our boys Walking on the icy ground Heading towards their destiny l'm sure they'll figure something out This is weak! l don't even llke any of these places.
l want to go home.
Finn, let me tell you a little something about what ''home'' really means.
La la la Home isn't a place Let me give you a clue Home is anywhere where people care about you l don't want to hear a lecture, dude.
l just want to go home.
But home is where your heart is, Finn And where is your heart, Finn? Well, it's right there inside you Well, l'm sitting right here beside you With your lucky stars to guide you from above.
[fiddle playing .]
[both chuckle .]
Yeah, l guess l'd rather be out here, wrapped in your ear, than be in some awesome house all by my souse.
JAKE: l'd rather be dancing with some babes.
FlNN: Shut up, dude! JAKE: Gross.
This place looks gross.
And abandoned.
[echoing .]
And abandoned.
And abandoned.
And abandoned.
[both scream .]
[gasps .]
Whoa, bro! Want to just live in here? Yes.
So, they cleaned the cave and built a house inside the cave [sighs .]
So, what do you think, man? We did pretty good for ourselves.
Yeah, we did.
So, uh, what should we do first in our new digs? Let's trash it and throw a party! [mid-tempo music playing .]
[indistinct conversations .]
[sighs .]
This is it.
Feeling good.
Feeling -- l'm feeling like we did it.
l'm feeling, like, completely satisfied.
Nothing else can go wrong, you know, Jake? - Yeah, man.
- Oh, yeah.
l know, too.
Hey, Finn.
- [gasps .]
She's back! Wow, pretty awesome party you got here.
What do you want, Marceline? Oh, l just want to show you something.
This cave belongs to me! What?! Thanks for fixing the place up for me.
You -- you can't take our home twice! Yes, l ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-n Aah! lt's vampire-fighting time! Finn, no! Vampires will klll you, remember? But she's taking our home again! We're home as long as we're together! Blah, blah, blee, blah, bloop, remember? Oh, yeah.
Okay, Marceline, l'm gonna let you keep this cave, but only because Jake is my home.
And he's way better than all your homes combined! You know, you're right.
l guess l'll take him, too! What?! l'll bite him a little Aah! maybe turn him into a zombie.
No! - Let go of Jake! - Make me.
[grunts .]
You okay, pal? [hisses .]
No one makes me let go of Jake! l'm not scared of you! [laughs evilly .]
You're pathetic, little boy.
[grunts .]
[grunts .]
You're pathetic! [hisses .]
Get ready for an uppercut, you dog! Make me.
[laughs evilly .]
Blah, blah! Blah! l got to help my buddy! Your blood is mine! [warbling loudly .]
[grunting .]
- [gasps .]
- Uh-oh.
[laughs evilly .]
[screams .]
[breathing heavily .]
[screams .]
Ow! That actually hurt, Finn.
[laughs evilly .]
[shrieks .]
[laughs .]
Mwah! W-Why you didn't just kill me? 'Cause that was fun! Whew, l haven't fought like that in years.
Thanks, Finn.
Finn.
A-Aren't you dead? Nah, before she bit me, l used my powers to shrink all my guts and blood over to my thumb, see? [clears throat .]
You two are pretty hard core.
l can appreciate that.
So so does that mean we can have our old house back? Yeah, keep it as a gift from me! Blah! [both screaming .]
[laughs .]
BOTH: Yeah! Huh? [all croaking .]
[all warbling .]
Did you guys get on the bed? l told you, you're not allowed! MAN: Oh, hey, guys.
BOTH: Huh? Come here, friends.
Hug me.
[warbling .]
Oh, yeah.
Hug me.
[warbling.]
Come along with me And the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Come along with me To a cliff under a tree