Back to You (2007) s01e12 Episode Script

Previously on Back To You: The point is, Gracie doesn't know that Chuck is her dad, and we feel that it's time that she did.
You know, in one minute all our lives are gonna completely change.
Gracie What didn't you tell me? It's about Chuck.
He's your father.
Come on.
Oh, my goodness.
Mom? Okay, no, I'm fine, honey, I'm fine.
Don't get upset, don't panic.
I'm the only one who hasn'tfainted.
Okay, but you heard what I said, right? Chuck is your father.
I thought it was a sperm donor.
Was that you? Well, technically, yes.
Did you know it was his sperm? Uh, technically, yes.
I don't understand.
Honey, listen, I know it's very confusing, an-and we'll explain everything, but I just want you to know that I love you.
We love you.
Yes, and everything's gonna be okay.
So did you go to the sperm bank and ask for Chuck's sperm or did you ask Chuck for his sperm? Okay, here's an idea.
Let's just retire the word "sperm," shall we? Actually, it happened another way.
The old-fashioned way.
She doesn't know what that means.
You mean you did it? Yes, we did it.
Don't say it like that.
What, what? She said it.
Were you boyfriend and girlfriend? Uh Uh Well Were you drunk? Tipsy maybe, but not falling down.
Are you insane?! What?! Look, I'm sorry, I don't know the ground rules.
Are we supposed to tell the truth or just sprinkle pixie dust everywhere? Okay.
Honey, look, Chuck and I used to be, uh, very close.
We, wearevery close.
Yes.
Then why didn't you tell me he was my dad? It's complicated.
Why didn'tyoutell me? I didn't know myself.
You mean you didn't tell him either? God, Mom.
I know, right? Stop it.
Honey, I did tell Chuck.
I told him a few months ago.
So all that time you were lying? What happened to always telling the truth? You grounded me for telling Katie Michaelman I got a puppy.
Yes, but that's because you knew Katie wanted a puppy and I think you were trying to make her feel bad.
You're right, Mom, that's a lot worse than telling someone they don't have a father.
Honey, honey, where are you going? To my room to play with my puppy.
My daughter hates me.
Hey-hey, now, easy with that.
Our daughter hates you.
It won't be the same around here without you.
If I could get serious for just a moment, I told Chuck I'd probably get a little misty tonight, but that's not gonna happen, unless she really starts knocking them back.
Sorry, Misty! Aw, come on.
You know, I couldn't let this evening come to an end without acknowledging my, my partner and my good-luck charm, who's been with me for every broadcast.
It was great while it lasted, baby, but it's time.
Listen, it has been a fantastic six years.
And though I may be going off to Minneapolis/St.
Paul, I want you all to know that I will hold a place in my heart for every one of you.
Here, here.
Gary.
You're still here? I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
Good-byes are tough for me.
I got your stuff all boxed up.
Planning on getting the anchor job? Oh, yeah.
I'm getting all the signals from upstairs.
Not a minute too soon.
Last week I was out doing that world's largest flapjack story and I ran into Roger Fern from Channel Eight.
Poor bastard's been doing remotes for like five years.
World's largest loser.
Um, just so you know, Marsh and some of the guys are playing floor hockey with your wig.
That seems pretty disrespectful.
I mean, the body's not even cold yet.
This'll be in your car.
Well now comes the hard part saying good-bye to something I've really enjoyed.
But I guess they'll have more out there, huh? That's cute.
Well, you deserve it after that tribute to your rug.
You're putting my coat on.
Oh, my God.
There you go.
Are you sure you're okay to drive? Maybe I should call a cab, right? You sure you're okay to call a cab? Here, give, give, give me that.
Give me that.
Here, let me help you with this.
Come on.
Thank you.
So you going to any New Year's parties? No, I've gotta get up at 7:00 a.
m.
I'm the grand marshal for the parade.
I feel sorry for those bagpipers in their kilts.
It's going to be two below.
Not for them.
So you're happy here, right? Eh.
What do you mean "Eh"? You've got the place to yourself.
You're a Pittsburgh institution.
Hmm.
I think we both know what would really make me happy, Chuck What the hell was that?! I was talking about a job in a bigger market! I cannot believe that you I don't know what that was.
We both know what it was.
New Year's, tequila, six years of stifled passion bursting forth like a bud in springtime Shut up.
Oh, my God.
Okay, it's over, right? Okay, it's over.
We're done, huh? Uh We're not done.
Let's get out of here, okay? We should leave separately.
I'll just I'll go first.
Wait.
Where? We'll go to my place.
Great! Hey, everybody, we're taking it to Kelly's.
Come on, Misty.
It's kind of storybook, isn't it? Mom and Pop huddled over their little girl's science project.
Mom fetching Pop a scotch.
I said no.
It's nice that youcan be casual about it.
You're not the one she's furious at.
Kelly, Kelly She's bound to be feeling all kinds of emotions.
Anger, confusion, maybe even a little bit of pride.
Finding out that one of her parents is a local celebrity.
We do the same thing.
All right.
Well, you might not appreciate this, but my daughter may never trust me again.
This is not good.
Finally, a little empathy.
No, I've glued my finger to my thumb.
How did you do that? I don't know.
What kind of glue is that? Oh, well, it's Liquid Steel.
The regular glue wasn't holding the project together.
All right, it says here, "Dissolve using nail polish remover.
" Okay, where do you keep that? What? A ten-year-old? She got an A-minus on her test, so I rewarded her.
What does she get for an A, a long weekend with a drummer? Okay, I just soak this and then you just try to work your fingers apart, okay? How long is this going to take? You pressed for time? I'm good! Mom? Oh, honey.
Honey, hi.
I've been thinking about what you said.
Yeah? I don't want to do this.
Do what? I don't want Chuck to be my dad.
Gracie I want things like they were before.
I know, honey, but there's just some things you can't change.
Chuck isyour dad.
Well, I hate it.
I hate it, I hate it.
This sucks.
And don't tell me not to say that, and don'tcome into my room.
I'm sorry.
She doesn't really mean that.
It sounded like she did.
You know, this is a huge thing for her.
She just needs to be alone, so she can get her head around it.
You're right.
Maybe I should go talk to her.
When I make sounds, what do you hear? Kelly, she just reacted that way because she doesn't really know me that well.
Trust me, you give me ten minutes with her, and I will bring her around.
Okay, she's not some busty attorney on the treadmill next to you.
Who the hell is? Oh, my God.
It's Ryan.
What's Ryan doing here? I'm giving him an old bookcase.
This is the only night he could pick it up.
Okay.
Great.
You take care of that, and I'll stay in here.
All right.
Chuck.
I know the minute I go in there, you're gonna want to run upstairs but listen.
Listen.
Take a look at that little girl in the picture.
She is headstrong, like you, but she's sensitive, like me, and if you go up there and talk to her, I want you to promise me you will be very, very delicate.
I promise.
Thank you so much.
When did you? When you were looking at the picture.
That's not even Gracie.
Hi.
Hey, Kel, I really appreciate Oh, right.
Oh, Kelly, this is my friend, Dennis; he's a big fan of yours.
Oh, thank you.
No, no, Miss Kelly Carr, thank you.
You are the queen.
Jan Prescott is a joke.
Okay.
Dennis, remember our little talk in the car? Kelly, I am really sorry about this.
I was gonna bring Gary, but he and Kitty are breaking in a new marriage counselor.
You know, the older I get, the less attractive marriage looks.
On the other hand, some things look more attractive the older they get.
Hey, Dennis, can I possibly see you outside for a second? What is your problem?! I thought you were a classy guy! You are not the only person I know who has a van with a carpeted interior.
Hi.
Hey.
Dennis Kelly Marsha Carr, I apologize if I was out of line.
We'll just grab that bookcase, and you can get back to whatever you were doing, be that reading or taking a nice, warm bath.
Okay, that's it.
We're outta here.
That was totally nothing.
Maybe I can make it up to you over a meat-lovers pizza.
Kelly, do not go out with him.
What's the big deal? You said you two were broken up.
Shut up! these people out of here, we better start dropping some hints.
Are you kidding me? I put away all the booze and I vacuumed the living room.
Well, I hate to break up the party, but I got to shove off.
I got an early flight tomorrow.
Oh, yeah, I got to get up early, too.
Well, good night, Chuck.
Oh, good night, Kelly.
Take care.
Good night, everybody! Okay.
Bye-bye! Bye.
Oh, just 'cause Chuck's leaving doesn't mean that Well, I guess there's no stopping you.
Okay, here we go.
Why don't you just hand those out on the lawn? Thank you.
Good night, everybody.
Thanks for coming.
That was great.
Happy New Year.
I'm so glad you could all come over.
Take care.
Bye.
I ran around the side.
I knocked over something.
They have a real cat.
Oh, boy, it's cold out there.
Hey, where is everybody? Okay, good night.
Bye-bye.
In a few hours, I'll be planting my flag in the Twin Cities.
I bet you will.
I know, Marsh.
It's the point of the night where everything sounds suggestive.
Yeah, you're gonna give someone your point in the night, huh? Oh! Hey, where's my coat? It's out on the lawn.
I've been searching everywhere for this thing.
Oh.
Do you have to sit down to put that on? I got kind of a tough call to make.
I could really use your advice.
Well, I'm off! Twin Cities, early flight! Bye-bye! Boy, the guest that wouldn't leave, huh? So this girl I've been dating, she's the best.
Down-to-earth, supportive, cute as a button, a surgeon.
But she's got this sister Kitty.
A little unstable, but hot unstable.
Like at the family picnic, I nudged her arm in a croquet game and she threw my mallet and killed a blue jay.
Sending me signals, in other words.
Look, Gary, if you're asking me who you should choose, I think it's obvious.
Right.
No, you're right.
I'm not getting bumped up to anchor cause I'm a guy who plays it safe, right? Hello, Kitty! Okay.
Hey, that's like the toy.
Shall I leave this on? Only if you want to make more work for me.
Come on.
Let's go upstairs.
Oh, God, upstairs? Oh! Gracie, can I talk to you for a minute? No.
Wow! What a nice room.
Oh.
It's a little messy.
My room is exactly the same way.
You get that from me.
Every kid I know has a messy room.
Do they all get it from you? I sure hope not.
Why do you smell like you just took nail polish off? Oh, it's nothing scary like you think.
Your mom glued me to a table.
So, who's this? Miley Cyrus.
Oh.
One of your little friends at school? Yeah.
I go to school with Miley Cyrus.
Zach and Cody are in our class, too.
I'll be honest with you.
I don't know what's happening.
If I could have just a minute of your time, I'd like to tell you a little story.
It's about five years ago.
It was my first day in Denver, and I hit on this woman in the elevator.
And it turns out that she was married to the station manager, Mel Bixby.
Well, he found out about it, and he hated me.
Two weeks later he loved me.
What's your point? I'm a pretty lovable guy.
You're sitting on my doll.
Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh! Oh, my God! My grandma got me that doll in France! Oh.
Any chance it came with a little toy guillotine? Mom! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Gracie.
I know you're mad at me! I'm really sorry about this, I - oh! Honey, what's going on up here? He broke my doll! And your lamp? Yeah, well, you just touch something in here and it falls apart.
What, are you shooting an old western in this place? Can I talk to you for a minute? Okay.
You just had to come up here, didn't you? If she didn't hate me before, she certainly does now.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what I'm doing here.
All right, just go downstairs for a few minutes, all right? Okay.
I know you're upset.
Why do I even need to have a dad? Why can't it just stay you and me? Oh, sweetie.
We are always gonna be together, okay? That's not gonna change.
We're just adding Chuck.
Do you like Chuck? Um, at first I didn't, but, but now I do.
So you're like Mel Bixby.
Who's Mel Bixby? He was married to some woman Chuck tried to pick up in an elevator.
I can't believe this guy.
Okay, look.
Just like you're gonna have to get used to having a dad, Chuck has to get used to being a dad.
So what do you say we go down and talk to him, okay? I guess so.
Okay.
Why did you glue Chuck to a table? When you get to know your father better, you'll understand.
Chuck? Chuck? I thought you were still upstairs.
No, I came down to make us breakfast.
How funny.
I came down to make us breakfast.
Why are you holding your shoes? Well, I didn't want to wake you up with all that clomping around.
And you have your car keys in your hand.
And the jangling.
You were about to run out the door without saying good-bye, weren't you? I was going to leave you a note down here.
Where, in the snow? Kelly, we had a lovely night, and we're not about to top that for a good-bye.
And I got a plane to catch.
And what's more, you're making breakfast.
What does breakfast have to do with anything? You're not making breakfast, you're making plans! What plans?! Look, I've been through this before.
I know what happens.
Breakfast leads to, "Are you sure you have to go?" And if I get out the door at all, by the time I get to Minneapolis, there'll be a little bear sitting there with a Mylar balloon in his hand that says "I miss my honey.
" Okay, uh, I might vomit during this, but I'm just gonna keep talking.
I was making breakfast as a courtesy.
And you are not so alluring that one night with you would turn me into a clingy freak show.
What you are is a pitiful adolescent who would rather sneak out the door than deal with even the possibility of an uncomfortable situation! Before you get angry I never meant to lump you in with all the other women who've acted exactly like this.
Get out! Just glad I held off on this until our last day working together.
Like I was ready and panting for you for six years.
You see? This is what I was trying to avoid.
An ugly ending to what was actually a magnificent night.
Forgive me, but I will not be staying for breakfast.
Well, I'm gonna go to bed.
Is this gonna be safe down here? It'll be fine, yeah.
Honey, you know, you could stay up a little longer if you want to.
You can have some more hot chocolate.
I've had enough sugar, and it's way past my bedtime.
Parenting? Okay.
I'll be up in a minute, okay? Where did you go? I'll be honest.
I got cold feet.
Four of 'em.
You think that Gracie is just gonna magically accept you because you brought her a? Puppy! I love him! Okay, Gracie, Gracie, Gracie, you know, we talked about getting a dog.
Well, we don't have to anymore; I have one.
I'm calling him "Norman.
" No, don't name him.
Don't name him.
Norman, do you want to see my room? No, he doesn't want to see your room.
Don't look at him.
I cannot believe you did this.
What's that, Kelly? You want me to go back to the pound so the nice man can make me go night-night? Mom! That was really low.
All right, fine, show Norman your room.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Come on, Norman.
Look, I know, I know.
You're mad at me.
I shouldn't have gotten a puppy without consulting you first.
There's no way I should try to buy our daughter's lo What's this? I'm glad you came back.
It's okay.
What, did you think I was gonna bail? Well, I'd say no, but I left you 12 messages that suggest otherwise.
I told you I'm not going anywhere.
Mom? Norman just peed on the carpet.
Well, it's getting late.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Okay, you know what? You are going to have to stop following me around.
The only reason you are here is because my daughter fell in love with you.
You got that? Kelly Marsha Carr, I'm gonna rock your Oh, my God, a dog! You! Oh, you are so wonderful! Your mama's little protector.
Let's get you a treat, okay?