Being Erica (2009) s01e12 Episode Script
Erica the Vampire Slayer
Reycraft, absolutely not.
No, I said absolutely not.
Reycr Uh, no! Have you ever watched someone do their job and thought Reycraft! I could never do that; that's not me.
Listen, I don't care if your father's the mayor of Timbuktu, until you're ready to talk to me with respect, do not bother.
Jesus.
It's an important thing to be able to determine What we can and can't do; What fits and what doesn't; Who you are and who you're not.
Do you want a latte or something? 'cause that was just that was really intense.
Oh, that? Oh, please, that was breakfast.
And hello? Junior editors do not brew.
Now, about your promotion.
Yeah, you know, it still doesn't feel real.
Well, it's not.
Not until Galvin signs off.
So, until then, I would like you to get up close and personal with that.
"Baking the Soul" by Linda Kaplan.
You know, it's our cooking slash self-help guide? As part of your portfolio, along with "The None" and the Marcus Stahl book.
So, go read and give me coverage.
Will do.
Oh, and Erica? Yes.
Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life.
Thank you.
Whatcha doin'? Reading.
Whatcha you reading? Manuscript.
Whatcha you think? So, Erica, do we have another bestseller on our hands or what? Oh, no, what's wrong? I'm comparing this draft of the notes from a previous editor, and Linda hasn't made any of changes.
It's still written in first person, it's still boring and, ugh, the title honestly, "Baking the Soul"? Well, the original title was "Deep Fried Karma.
" This is actually a step up.
Dory said it was bad.
Bad? Linda Kaplan's answer to a mid-life crisis is an avocado quesadilla.
Mm.
I don't recommend that, um, that we publish this.
Bummer.
I hearted the pitch.
But if both you and Dory are saying she's not delivering, then it's time to give her the boot.
Time to tell Linda she's done like dinner.
'kay? What, me? You want me to do it? Yeah, you.
And do it today, before she hands in any more chapters.
Just get her on the phone, and tell her she needs to come in.
Pronto-Toronto.
Oh, no, Julianne, look, I'm really, um I'm really good at, you know, taking notes and reading, but I don't I don't think that I can Fire someone? Well, "newsflash," that's part of the job.
You're a manager now, Erica, please start acting like one.
Go get your hands dirty.
With the raise you're about to get, I think you can afford the manicure.
it's clearer inside of me who I will always be open me up to my heart feels like I'm seeing in the dark waking me up to my heart to do it all over again and again until the end the sum of my dreams and everything I ever wanted to be Wow! This is a real fun lunch we're having.
Can we at least sit down? No, I can't.
I have to get back to the office.
Linda, she's gonna be there in less than ten minutes, that's great.
You're being ridiculous.
I mean, it's not that big a deal.
No, I'm not being ridiculous, okay? I've never done this before.
I've never fired anyone before.
And I can tell that Julianne, you know, she's just doing it to test me, to see if I'm deserving of this promotion.
I mean, why else would she have me do it? I don't even know Linda! Okay, don't get paranoid, all right? Just just go in there, and tell the author "It isn't working out," Okay? Just the facts.
Just keep it real, unemotional.
The same facts that you told me.
Unemotional, because that really sounds like me.
I mean, is it normal to feel nauseous? Yup.
Jude, there are some things that I know that I can do, but this? Trust me, you can.
Go on.
I baked them especially for you.
I call them "Better Tarts.
" They're your everyday butter tart, but with Spirulina and Royal jelly, for a little added zing.
Huh? mm-hmm.
Um Linda, Julianne asked me to come in here and talk about the book.
Uh-hunh.
Have you read my first chapters? I did.
Yes, I did.
I tackled those while planning my daughter Tecca's wedding, Mm.
And undergoing emergency surgery.
Emergency surgery? Don't worry, it's all fine.
Turns out it's not the big "C," after all.
I just, you know, in the end, had to put my shoulder to the wheel and I got the job done.
Mmm.
Well, the chapters, they're uh, they're interesting.
oh.
"interesting" usually means "bad.
" No-no, not bad, not bad per se.
It's just you, uh you didn't really address our notes.
Oh, am I in trouble here? I have worked so hard on these, Ms.
Strange.
Oh, please, it's Erica.
If I have done something wrong, if Julianne is upset with me Linda, don't worry, okay? We just, um we need to, uh Linda, would you just give me a minute? I'll, uh I'm gonna be right back.
Okay? Isn't Linda supposed to be the one walking out of that room like her world just imploded? You didn't fire her, did you? Uh no.
Brent, could you please go show Erica how it's done? Hmm.
I'm sorry, it's just she was so upset.
Can you stop talking and watch.
So upset River rock publishing no longer needs your services.
Oh I don't, I-I don't understand.
Erica, Erica and I It's no longer working out.
Okay.
Thank you.
Thank you, Brent.
Erica, in my office, now! Ugh Julianne, I'm sorry, I messed up.
Yeah! Which is why you'll be spending all day tomorrow, right here.
Uh, tomorrow? It's I mean, it's Saturday.
And the first Saturday of each month, River Rock hosts leadership training for its managers.
Tomorrow's session will be hosted by the one and only, Thomas Friedken, author of "The Secret of Now.
" I know that, yeah.
People draw blood to get into his sessions.
So, consider yourself extremely lucky 'cause I'm giving you my spot.
Thank you, and you know what? I think management training is exactly what I need.
Oh, I hope so.
Because my spidey senses are tingling, Erica, And not in a good way.
I'm gonna be honest with you, right now I'm wondering If you're ready for this promotion.
Um can you, can you go? Go! Okay.
You sent me those papers, Claire! You asked to divorce me! That was before, before all this Claire, Claire there is no before this.
Okay? Oh, well, look who it is.
Is everything okay? No, everything's not okay.
Claire's just leaving.
Hey, you don't get to call the shots here, Ethan.
Why don't you back off? Why don't you mind your own business? You know, I was trying to make this work, but then you go and I go and I what, Claire? I didn't do anything you didn't do first.
Oh, fine.
You know, if this is the way you want it to work? Expeat a call from my lawyer.
Well, you finally got him.
Only took you 10 years.
Hey, what's going on? I can't believe her.
What did she do? She wants to sue me for support.
How can she do that? She's rich.
Her dad's rich.
Point is, Claire wants to make me pay, any way she can.
God, I just Doesn't make any sense.
So what're you gonna do? Well, normally I'd give in; that's what she expects.
You know, I spent my entire marriage giving in to her and I'm done.
I'm-I'm fighting back.
You are? I mean, don't take this the wrong way, but I just, I I didn't think you had it in you.
Sure I had it in me.
It's just easier to do what comes naturally.
But that's not a good enough reason.
So I'm guessing you, um, you lost your appetite.
Oh, um, is it okay if I take a rain check? I really need to call my lawyer.
Oh, of course.
Listen, don't worry, I'm right next door, okay? One knock away.
uh Here, keep the curry, you might get hungry.
Bienvenido.
Yin dee.
Willkommen.
Welcome to Thomas Friedken's "Weekend Warriors Management Training.
" I think we're gonna start the day off by just jumping right into it, by sucking right from the teat ff, ah, group dynamics.
So, who do you think you are? That is the eternal question.
And using five adjectives, I would like each and every one of you to tell us your best personal qualities that you bring to your careers as managers, okay? Why don't we start with you? Okay, um Commanding, decisive, potent, red-blooded, virile.
Oh, and fierce.
But you only let us, like, five.
All right, you rule with strength.
Spare the rod, spoil the child.
Argh! I like that.
I like it.
Uh, who shall we go with next? How about you? What is your name again? It's Erica.
It's, um, it's Erica Strange.
Okay, you gotta say that with more conviction, okay? See? baaa! Start from down here, you see? Start from down here, and you say So you say it, like Erica Strange! Erica Strange.
Proceed.
Okay, um the words to describe my management style are in in no particular order: Fun and friendly, easy-going, supportive, and uh nurturing.
Right.
Because, you know, Whilst Hannibal marched his war elephants over the Alps during the second Punic war, he was easy-going.
He was fun, he was friendly.
Well, those are my strongest qualities, Mr.
Friedken.
And that is your problem, dear.
Okay, now I want you to come over here.
Yes, I want you to bring your whole body and come right here.
Okay? All right, now You say you're friendly.
I say that you can also be scary.
Not really.
No, aggressive! No.
Ruthless! No, no, not not at all.
Yeah, okay, you see? Now that right there, that is is your box! That's your box.
That's your identity, right? And on the surface, you're all nurturing and fun and, ooh, kittens, and little bunnies, but you gotta step outside of the box! Now, come on, push me.
Uh Mr.
Friedken? Come on, push me.
Mr.
Friedken, I can't.
Ooh-ow-wow, let's dance then.
Do you wanna dance? Is that what it is? Is it dancing? You see, dancing.
Hey, look, look.
See, come on.
So you see that? You see Okay, so what are you feeling right now? Are you feeling a little uncomfortable? Yeah, because this isn't you, this isn't your "thing.
" You see that? But you you, dear, have to step outside.
You gotta h'yah! You gotta h'yaaah!! You gotta break out of the box.
You gotta at least try.
okay I can't.
I can't.
I c-can't.
Oh! Uh-oh.
Ooh.
You see, there is a big difference between can't and won't.
Huge difference.
Okay, Thank you.
Good.
I'll let, uh, Julianne know.
Nothing more here.
I think you made your choice.
It's okay.
It's the way it goes.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
nice.
Not really.
Okay, um Who's next? Who wants to have some fun? The next thing we're gonna do is the growling exercise.
I need you to pair up Hi.
Hi.
So how is Management Training? I failed.
Hmm because you couldn't tango? No, it's because, uh I'm easy-going, not commanding.
It's because I'm fun, but not intimidating.
It's because my inner tiger is more like a kitten.
I mean what if I'm not meant to be a manager? Okay, let's go back.
You say that you're easy-going, but not commanding.
You know, those two qualities are not mutually exclusive.
Why can't you be both? I don't know, I You know I keep remembering that quote that you once said: "learn to be what you are, and learn to "to resign with good grace all that you are not.
" Henri Frederic Amiel.
Yeah? I just feel like I'm hitting the limitations of my ability, You know? And maybe maybe it's time to face the facts that I'm not cut out for this, you know? Not everybody has what it takes to be a boss.
I think a better way to face it, would be to talk about "if.
" "if?" This has nothing to do with him.
Can we please just stick to the issue? We are.
Fine, "if.
" It's, um It's short for Ivan Frankel.
It's, it's this guy that I dated.
I mean, he he was really sweet, but so not my type.
It was 2001.
I was fresh out of my masters and killing time in this internet cafe, andIvan and I, we had the same shift.
He was the tech, and I handled the cash.
He was friendly and sweet, and really comfortable with who he was.
And I'm not I'm not sure how it happened, but one day we just and after that we kind of started dating.
I mean, being with "if," it was like visiting a different planet.
And it was really fun until this one day he decided that we should go to this thing, what was it called? It's, um a vampire larp.
Mm, what is that? Live action role-playing.
It's some kind of a make-believe Vampire game for grownups.
Totally bizarre.
So, I knew I had to end it, you know, if and I, we were not gonna work out.
But I was so scared to hurt him.
Like you were too scared to hurt Linda.
Well, at least with Linda I made an attempt.
With if I I left my shift that day, I quit my job, and never talked to him again.
Oh, you cut him off.
That's cold.
I was such a coward.
It's not that I think that if was the love of my life, But he didn't deserve to be treated like that Such disrespect.
Okay, and if you could go back? I would do the hard thing.
I would break up with him.
hmm.
Face to face.
oh! What the hell?! I'm Uh You killed it! You killed my computer.
I ruined it.
Agh! Nah, it just needs to dry out, you know? Yeah, I can take it apart, Clean up the motherboard.
It'll be fine.
So, I'm not fired then? not on my watch, you're not.
come here.
Um You know what today is? No.
It's our 10 day anniversary.
Oh.
Happy anniversary.
You too.
Tonight calls for awesomeness.
Are you up for some awesomeness? Mm-hmm, I am.
But you know what? I think that we should talk first.
Yeah, sure, Just let me tell you what we're doing first, okay? You and me are going to a Vampire larp.
A vampire larp? Yeah.
Uh, a vampire Immortal, soulless.
If, that sounds great, But I think that we should talk, okay? There's just there's really something that I need to tell you.
Okay, just wait.
Wait'll you see this here.
Wow, that's a really fancy walking stick.
Uh, it's a blood staff.
Oh.
Oh! Ah-ha, good reflexes.
Ha, you're a natural warrior.
Maybe I need to reconsider.
If, please.
Please tell you what larping is? Hmm, yeah, I guess it's not a part of the general lexicon, Now is it? Okay, um Think of it like, um, playing dress-up or make-believe.
Uh, we dress up as our characters and we go out and interact with each other in the real world.
And then there's rules that govern how we do battle, and how we role-play.
Mm-hm.
And why exactly would you wanna do this? Because it's fun.
Some people collect stamps, others golf.
I larp.
And starting tonight, so do you.
Behold! You are Calliope.
And you belong to a secret sisterhood, uh, a coven that practices healing blood magic.
Uh, where did you get this picture of me? Last week, from a webcam, when you weren't looking.
So, huh? What do you think? Ah, well, I think that you're really very good at photoshop.
Thank you.
Ah! Your cape Oh, I really Wow.
And Yeah.
You're gonna need this also.
Here.
Yeah.
This card spells out your stats.
See, you've got a 5 empathy.
That means that your power is weighted towards healing.
I'm also giving you one secret, special power: Shape-shifting.
You know, like, uh, Odo, on "Deep Space Nine"? Mmm Oh, um, in a nutshell, You can use your blood magic to change into a nosferatu.
oh.
Yeah, I don't think I ever want to do that.
I invoke blood magic to take the form of nosferatu.
My intimidation is five, I stare at you.
What is your bravery? My bravery? One! Your bravery is one.
You are petrified at the sight of me.
Get down on your knees.
On your knees! Kneel before master Cain! I'm kneeling.
Yeah, see? And then you just kinda take it from there.
You know, my-my shift's over and, um, I'm feeling hungry.
Do you wanna maybe grab a bite to eat? Sure.
Oh my God.
Awesome! Hey, I was thinking Master Cain is lonely.
Might be nice for him to have a mistress Cain by his side.
You know? If only because a healer Is very fortuitous in battle.
If, I really need to But not only because of that.
If, I don't think that I can do this.
Ah, what do you mean? You don't wanna larp? No, I don't I mean, I don't think this relationship is right for me.
And that's what I've been feeling and that's what I wanted to talk to you about.
I'm sorry.
Can we still be friends? Oh Uh Just wait a sec while I rip this stake out of my heart.
argh! Yeah.
yeah, of course we can.
Really? And hey, you know, if you, uh if you still wanna larp tonight, uh I got all this gear for you.
Ivan, thank you for the invitation, but I just I just don't think that larping is really my thing.
Ah! Yeah.
No, no, it's uh Hey, it's, it's cool.
Really, it's totally cool.
Uh Man, I I gotta get, get back to work.
I got a couple hours left on my shift, So, I'm sorry Okay, okay.
Oh, um, you know, if you, uh you change your mind about tonight, uh, we're gonna be meeting at "The Stake" at 9:00.
I'll have my cell phone.
Okay.
Vampires, they use cell phones? Yeah I'll see you.
Live long and prosper.
Wow.
What're you doing, Dr.
Tom? Okay, look, here's the deal all right? I came back and I did what I was supposed to do.
I-I broke up with if.
In record time too.
So fast, in fact, you could probably squeeze in a quick round of larping, if you really wanted to.
Running around the city, dressed as a vampire? That's not really my idea of fun.
Hmm.
Still caring what other people think, huh? No, this isn't me caring about what other people think, All right? I'm not a larper! And I'm not a mime.
This really is quite a small box you've got yourself living inside.
It must be very tiring, squeezing yourself into that everyday? I am this, I'm not that.
I am this, I'm not that.
I thought that mimes were supposed to be silent.
Okay Look, I know who I am.
And I came back here And did what I had to do, so So, why are you still here? Uh, yeah.
No, uh, no plans.
Just killing time, waiting to see what the world has in store for me.
Um, hey, Judith, I gotta go.
There's somebody at the door.
Okay, bye.
Uh, hey.
Hi.
Hey.
Um, are we too early or? Did you say Um Oh, uh Yeah, I'm just running a little bit behind, so, come on in.
Okay.
Uh, make yourselves comfortable.
So the wedding's going to be in Montreal, in July.
A summer wedding.
Mmm! So are you planning on moving there? Oh, yeah, we're already looking at houses.
Oh, we're not looking, Claire's looking.
Don't start.
He's upset because my dad's buying us a house.
I just think we should buy our own place.
You know, we could afford a condo.
No, you can't raise a family in a condo.
Of course we can.
What do you think, Erica? Oh Really it's not my place to say.
Ethan, just let it go.
My dad's buying us a wedding gift.
He's allowed.
Okay? Fine.
Hey, we should go if we wanna hit that club, huh? Mmm.
Can I use your bathroom? Sure, it's rig through there.
You know, Ethan, if you don't wanna buy the house, why don't you say something? Um, didn't you see me saying something? No, I saw you getting beaten into submission.
Why do you always do that? I mean, why do you always let her win? Um, well, that's just how we do things.
Claire has a lot of opinions and I don't like to fight.
I know that you don't, but sometimes you have to.
I mean, are you gonna live your whole life just giving into things? If you feel strongly about something then, you know, speak out, push back.
That's not how I work.
What do you mean that's not how you work? I don't like to push; I'm not a fighter.
It's just not me.
It's just not you.
That is such a cop-out.
You're saying it's just not you, like it's not a choice you have, but you do, you could fight.
And, yeah, it would it could be horrible and scary and hard, but you could do it.
Honestly, Erica, it's just easier this way.
That's not a good enough reason.
Okay, let's go.
Are you coming with us? Um Actally, I think I think I'm gonna pass.
My friend, he invited me to this thing and I wanna check it out.
Okay.
Well, dinner was superb.
No, it wasn't, but thanks.
I'll call you later.
Um Maybe you can join us after your thing.
Bye.
Calliope? Welcome to the underworld.
Why are they all, uh Doing that? Because, tonight, I am not Ivan Frankel.
Tonight I am Cain the damned, one of the most powerful vampires in the city, and the leader of my clan.
Greetings.
Magda, Seven, this is Calliope, A blood sorceress.
Calliope, you are most welcome.
Uh, th-thanks.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Magda.
He wears the rune.
Do we battle tonight? Indeed.
Behold! Our enemy awaits.
Leandra.
My friends, Tonight we fight that thief for our rightful property: The other half of the rune.
If we are successful, We, the tribe of Brasov, will be the most powerful vampires in the city.
Drink, you will need your strength.
No! Uh, wait-wait-wait.
If, that's not, I mean, that's not actually Blood? no.
God, no-no-no! It's called "a vampire's kiss.
" It's, uh, vodka, soda, lemon Oh! Be careful! The vampire's kiss can be lethal.
After about four or five, right? Wow.
So, the plan tonight is this: We need to get our hands on that rune.
Leandra will be trying to steal mine.
If things get rough, I may need you to heal me.
Mmm-mmm.
And I will heal away, for I am Calliope the blood sorceress.
That's me.
Mm Um, not quite.
I'm afraid.
You you need a makeover.
You don't really fit in.
I fear for my safety.
Others plot my downfall.
I can feel their bloodlust.
Who is this? Declare yourself.
Calliope.
I'm just a just a blood sorceress.
You're not of our tribe.
And you appear unannounced.
I view your approach as a hostile act.
I invoke "Lake of Fire.
" Lethal strike one! Lethal strike two! I said, I invoke "Lake of Fire.
" Lethal strike three! I don't know, wait-wait, am I supposed to die here or something? You're engulfed in a cloud of fire! I use the rune of elders to conjure a wall of crystal ice.
A barrier that no flame may pass! Erica, you could've been killed.
Look, I'm sorry.
I thought I could just grab the rune.
Oh, no, you don't just grab the rune.
That's not how this works.
Even if you made it passed her bodyguards, you'd have to use magic to win the rune from Leandra.
And trust me, you don't wanna approach someone that powerful without a plan.
What did Calliope say to Leandra? She doth demand justice.
A battle is called.
The troops are already on their way.
Oh, dear.
Did I do something wrong? Brothers and sisters in blood, Tonight, we do battle for the missing piece of the rune of elders.
Defeat is not an option.
We will be victorious! Ha! And when we prevail all of the city shall kneel at our feet and our cups shall overflow with sweet crimson blood, and we will reign supreme.
Hello? Hey! That club had a 2 hour line-up.
So, I don't know if you wanna meet up, or if you're still mad? No, hey, I'm not mad, okay? I'm just I'm just concerned.
You know, you really sell yourself short, Ethan.
Whoa! Go forth! Rise up and defeat our enemies! Ha ha ha! Where are you? Um, I'm I'm larping in a graveyard.
You're what-ing in a graveyard? Look, it's too hard to explain right now, but we're gonna be going to "The Stake" soon.
Oh, the goth bar? Yeah.
Okay, Claire and I can meet you there, I guess.
No, Ethan, really, you don't Whoa! Ahhh! Ouch! I was on the phone! And now you have lost a hand.
Oh, for pete's sake.
Hey.
Magda and Seven have been burned to death.
Leandra and her minions draw close.
I fear the end is nigh! Oh, well, do you do you want me to go, like, heal them? Their bodies are ash.
No, you must save your strength, Heal those who still have a chance.
Um I summon a burrowing stake.
It pierces your skin, tearing your flesh for 3 points of damage.
Lethal hit one.
Lethal hit two! Lethal hit three! Calliope, heal me! I don't know what to do? Four! Argh! Wait, wait! We are granted one counter strike.
Agh! Raise your hand, make a fist, and say "I invoke blood sorcery to heal the form.
" Raise your hand, Calliope! The stake burrows deeper into your chest.
It pierces your ribs, it hunts your heart.
I invoke the blood sorcery.
Lethal hit five point of damage! Calliope! I invoke blood sorcery to heal the form.
She cannot invoke with a missing hand.
I dispatched it from her body myself.
Be this true? Well, he dispatched one of them.
So, use the other hand.
What difference does it make? The stake pierces your heart! I, Leandra, control the rune of Elders.
Queen's guard to me! Um Here's your thingy.
My friends, Leandra controls the rune and thus the city.
We all must pay homage to her now.
Uh, rules allow one final drink together, then our clan is no more.
Hey, hey, look at least I didn't, you know, really lose my hand.
And your heart's still pumping, right? This isn't a joke.
No, I know.
All you had to do was call out one simple spell.
Like, it's taken me years, Erica.
Years! To get to the level that I am at and yeah, I just lost it all in one night.
I'm sorry.
You tell that to Seven and Magda when Leandra turns them into peasants and strips away all their powers.
I mean, it's not real.
Yeah, I know this isn't real.
All right, I'm not insane.
Okay, I'm sorry, it's just it's it's really crazy to an outsider.
It just it is.
Look, one night, every couple of weeks, I get to hang out with my friends, and bring out the person who I really am, okay? Deep down.
You know, not Ivan the tech geek, or Ivan the girl-retard who got dumped today.
See, I get to be me.
I get to show the world the parts of Ivan Frankel that nobody ever imagined he possessed, you know? Like strength and bravery and confidence.
But you you just you only see the surface.
You know, you see duct tape weapons, and geeks running around playing make-believe.
No, that's not true.
Really? You were embarrassed to heal me, but but who here would judge you? Hunh? No one.
The only one judging you is yourself.
Erica? You're wearing a cape.
I am.
Hey, no offense but I really don't think this is your thing.
No, it's-it's not.
So, why don't I take you to the little witch's room, wash off your face, and we can go to a real bar? That's, uh, that sounds like a great idea.
You know, would you just would you wait here for me for a minute? There's something that I need to do, okay? I'll be back.
Hello, little blood sorceress.
Have you come looking for death again? Kill her.
I invoke blood sorcery to turn me into a nosferatu! I am now a nosferatu.
and as a shape-shifter My hand has been restored! My intimidation is five! What is your bravery, wench? My bravery is four.
Get down on your knees.
Down on your knees! I invoke the power of the rune of Elders to grant me fearlessness.
I cast crimson fire.
balls of flame are exploding over you for three points of damage.
what is your resistance? My resistance is a two.
I'm melting! I'm melting! Know your place and stay there.
Yeah.
Nicely done.
Kamikaze suicide mission.
Ivan, I I'm so sorry about all of this.
It's okay.
Seven and I are actually plotting our return.
Yeah.
As a new clan: The Halavars! So, um I'll see you around? Yeah.
Linda, um, I'm so sorry about that.
I just, uh must have low blood-sugar right now.
Well, honey, if you've got low blood-sugar, then a tart is exactly what you need.
I call these "better tarts.
" They're your everyday butter tart, but with spirulina and royal jelly, added for extra zing.
Yeah.
I know.
Uh, Linda, would you just excuse me for one minute? I'll be right back.
Of course, but take a tart.
Don't argue.
Okay.
Erica? Where are you going? Bawk-bawk-bawk-bawk.
No, I'm not chickening out, Brent, okay? I just need a minute, okay? I just I need a latte.
What is going on? What am I doing back here? I'm giving you a do-over.
A do-what? A do-over.
To answer the question: Can you do this? Even though it scares you, even though it's hard, even though you don't want to, can you do what you need to do? And since when is a do-over allowed, hm? Since when isn't it? Look, the book, it's bad.
and Linda, she completely ignored our notes.
And I know that it's the right thing to do, but I just, I can't I can't help but feel, you know, paralyzed.
What if what if she cries? What if she does? I can't go in there and be all cold and unfeeling and do it the way that Brent would.
Who says that you need to do it the way that Brent would? Why don't you go in there and do it the way that Erica would.
"Thinking is easy, acting is difficult," "and to put one's thoughts into action", "the most difficult thing in the world.
" Goethe.
I think a fresh latte might help things go down a little easier.
Oh.
Well, aren't you a sweetheart.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
So, I know you haven't brought me in here just to make a latte.
No, I didn't, um It's about your book.
You've had a chance to read my first chapters? I am so proud of them.
I'm sure that you are, Linda.
You you put a lot of hard work into them.
Oh, that's wonderful.
So, what do we do next? This is my first book, it's all very new and exciting for me.
Linda I am sorry to have to tell you this, but there isn't gonna be a next step.
What do you mean? Uh, I just, it's um It's not working.
You didn't address our notes from the last pass and it just It it feels like you have a different vision for the book than we do.
If I could have another shot at making it work I'm sorry, you can't.
It's not working for us.
The book is not working for us.
Oh, my I can't believe this is happening to me.
I'm sorry.
You're sorry? That's rich.
Linda I didn't do the notes, because the notes didn't make sense.
You are paying me to share my recipes with the world.
And so I should be able to do that exactly how I want to.
Well, that's not how this works.
Fine.
Here you go.
Thank you.
Can I have a word before you go? Of course.
Sit.
Well, I gotta say, I wasn't sure you had it in you.
I wasn't sure myself at all.
Well, you keep surprising me.
Once upon a time, I thought I was gonna have to fire you, too.
And instead, I get to do this.
Do you see that chicken scratch there? That is Frank Galvin's signature.
Your promotion has been approved.
Wow.
Congratulations.
Thank you, Julianne.
Good night.
At the end of the day, it comes down to this: The way we choose to see ourselves, it limits who we can be.
Step outside the box, and you might learn something.
Because we are more capable than we imagine.
Because we all have it in us to do things we've never done before.
No, I don't wanna discuss it.
then we'll go to court.
I'm not settling; I'm not gonna give in.
If she wants to fight, then we'll fight.
Because sometimes we can surprise even ourselves.
No, I said absolutely not.
Reycr Uh, no! Have you ever watched someone do their job and thought Reycraft! I could never do that; that's not me.
Listen, I don't care if your father's the mayor of Timbuktu, until you're ready to talk to me with respect, do not bother.
Jesus.
It's an important thing to be able to determine What we can and can't do; What fits and what doesn't; Who you are and who you're not.
Do you want a latte or something? 'cause that was just that was really intense.
Oh, that? Oh, please, that was breakfast.
And hello? Junior editors do not brew.
Now, about your promotion.
Yeah, you know, it still doesn't feel real.
Well, it's not.
Not until Galvin signs off.
So, until then, I would like you to get up close and personal with that.
"Baking the Soul" by Linda Kaplan.
You know, it's our cooking slash self-help guide? As part of your portfolio, along with "The None" and the Marcus Stahl book.
So, go read and give me coverage.
Will do.
Oh, and Erica? Yes.
Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life.
Thank you.
Whatcha doin'? Reading.
Whatcha you reading? Manuscript.
Whatcha you think? So, Erica, do we have another bestseller on our hands or what? Oh, no, what's wrong? I'm comparing this draft of the notes from a previous editor, and Linda hasn't made any of changes.
It's still written in first person, it's still boring and, ugh, the title honestly, "Baking the Soul"? Well, the original title was "Deep Fried Karma.
" This is actually a step up.
Dory said it was bad.
Bad? Linda Kaplan's answer to a mid-life crisis is an avocado quesadilla.
Mm.
I don't recommend that, um, that we publish this.
Bummer.
I hearted the pitch.
But if both you and Dory are saying she's not delivering, then it's time to give her the boot.
Time to tell Linda she's done like dinner.
'kay? What, me? You want me to do it? Yeah, you.
And do it today, before she hands in any more chapters.
Just get her on the phone, and tell her she needs to come in.
Pronto-Toronto.
Oh, no, Julianne, look, I'm really, um I'm really good at, you know, taking notes and reading, but I don't I don't think that I can Fire someone? Well, "newsflash," that's part of the job.
You're a manager now, Erica, please start acting like one.
Go get your hands dirty.
With the raise you're about to get, I think you can afford the manicure.
it's clearer inside of me who I will always be open me up to my heart feels like I'm seeing in the dark waking me up to my heart to do it all over again and again until the end the sum of my dreams and everything I ever wanted to be Wow! This is a real fun lunch we're having.
Can we at least sit down? No, I can't.
I have to get back to the office.
Linda, she's gonna be there in less than ten minutes, that's great.
You're being ridiculous.
I mean, it's not that big a deal.
No, I'm not being ridiculous, okay? I've never done this before.
I've never fired anyone before.
And I can tell that Julianne, you know, she's just doing it to test me, to see if I'm deserving of this promotion.
I mean, why else would she have me do it? I don't even know Linda! Okay, don't get paranoid, all right? Just just go in there, and tell the author "It isn't working out," Okay? Just the facts.
Just keep it real, unemotional.
The same facts that you told me.
Unemotional, because that really sounds like me.
I mean, is it normal to feel nauseous? Yup.
Jude, there are some things that I know that I can do, but this? Trust me, you can.
Go on.
I baked them especially for you.
I call them "Better Tarts.
" They're your everyday butter tart, but with Spirulina and Royal jelly, for a little added zing.
Huh? mm-hmm.
Um Linda, Julianne asked me to come in here and talk about the book.
Uh-hunh.
Have you read my first chapters? I did.
Yes, I did.
I tackled those while planning my daughter Tecca's wedding, Mm.
And undergoing emergency surgery.
Emergency surgery? Don't worry, it's all fine.
Turns out it's not the big "C," after all.
I just, you know, in the end, had to put my shoulder to the wheel and I got the job done.
Mmm.
Well, the chapters, they're uh, they're interesting.
oh.
"interesting" usually means "bad.
" No-no, not bad, not bad per se.
It's just you, uh you didn't really address our notes.
Oh, am I in trouble here? I have worked so hard on these, Ms.
Strange.
Oh, please, it's Erica.
If I have done something wrong, if Julianne is upset with me Linda, don't worry, okay? We just, um we need to, uh Linda, would you just give me a minute? I'll, uh I'm gonna be right back.
Okay? Isn't Linda supposed to be the one walking out of that room like her world just imploded? You didn't fire her, did you? Uh no.
Brent, could you please go show Erica how it's done? Hmm.
I'm sorry, it's just she was so upset.
Can you stop talking and watch.
So upset River rock publishing no longer needs your services.
Oh I don't, I-I don't understand.
Erica, Erica and I It's no longer working out.
Okay.
Thank you.
Thank you, Brent.
Erica, in my office, now! Ugh Julianne, I'm sorry, I messed up.
Yeah! Which is why you'll be spending all day tomorrow, right here.
Uh, tomorrow? It's I mean, it's Saturday.
And the first Saturday of each month, River Rock hosts leadership training for its managers.
Tomorrow's session will be hosted by the one and only, Thomas Friedken, author of "The Secret of Now.
" I know that, yeah.
People draw blood to get into his sessions.
So, consider yourself extremely lucky 'cause I'm giving you my spot.
Thank you, and you know what? I think management training is exactly what I need.
Oh, I hope so.
Because my spidey senses are tingling, Erica, And not in a good way.
I'm gonna be honest with you, right now I'm wondering If you're ready for this promotion.
Um can you, can you go? Go! Okay.
You sent me those papers, Claire! You asked to divorce me! That was before, before all this Claire, Claire there is no before this.
Okay? Oh, well, look who it is.
Is everything okay? No, everything's not okay.
Claire's just leaving.
Hey, you don't get to call the shots here, Ethan.
Why don't you back off? Why don't you mind your own business? You know, I was trying to make this work, but then you go and I go and I what, Claire? I didn't do anything you didn't do first.
Oh, fine.
You know, if this is the way you want it to work? Expeat a call from my lawyer.
Well, you finally got him.
Only took you 10 years.
Hey, what's going on? I can't believe her.
What did she do? She wants to sue me for support.
How can she do that? She's rich.
Her dad's rich.
Point is, Claire wants to make me pay, any way she can.
God, I just Doesn't make any sense.
So what're you gonna do? Well, normally I'd give in; that's what she expects.
You know, I spent my entire marriage giving in to her and I'm done.
I'm-I'm fighting back.
You are? I mean, don't take this the wrong way, but I just, I I didn't think you had it in you.
Sure I had it in me.
It's just easier to do what comes naturally.
But that's not a good enough reason.
So I'm guessing you, um, you lost your appetite.
Oh, um, is it okay if I take a rain check? I really need to call my lawyer.
Oh, of course.
Listen, don't worry, I'm right next door, okay? One knock away.
uh Here, keep the curry, you might get hungry.
Bienvenido.
Yin dee.
Willkommen.
Welcome to Thomas Friedken's "Weekend Warriors Management Training.
" I think we're gonna start the day off by just jumping right into it, by sucking right from the teat ff, ah, group dynamics.
So, who do you think you are? That is the eternal question.
And using five adjectives, I would like each and every one of you to tell us your best personal qualities that you bring to your careers as managers, okay? Why don't we start with you? Okay, um Commanding, decisive, potent, red-blooded, virile.
Oh, and fierce.
But you only let us, like, five.
All right, you rule with strength.
Spare the rod, spoil the child.
Argh! I like that.
I like it.
Uh, who shall we go with next? How about you? What is your name again? It's Erica.
It's, um, it's Erica Strange.
Okay, you gotta say that with more conviction, okay? See? baaa! Start from down here, you see? Start from down here, and you say So you say it, like Erica Strange! Erica Strange.
Proceed.
Okay, um the words to describe my management style are in in no particular order: Fun and friendly, easy-going, supportive, and uh nurturing.
Right.
Because, you know, Whilst Hannibal marched his war elephants over the Alps during the second Punic war, he was easy-going.
He was fun, he was friendly.
Well, those are my strongest qualities, Mr.
Friedken.
And that is your problem, dear.
Okay, now I want you to come over here.
Yes, I want you to bring your whole body and come right here.
Okay? All right, now You say you're friendly.
I say that you can also be scary.
Not really.
No, aggressive! No.
Ruthless! No, no, not not at all.
Yeah, okay, you see? Now that right there, that is is your box! That's your box.
That's your identity, right? And on the surface, you're all nurturing and fun and, ooh, kittens, and little bunnies, but you gotta step outside of the box! Now, come on, push me.
Uh Mr.
Friedken? Come on, push me.
Mr.
Friedken, I can't.
Ooh-ow-wow, let's dance then.
Do you wanna dance? Is that what it is? Is it dancing? You see, dancing.
Hey, look, look.
See, come on.
So you see that? You see Okay, so what are you feeling right now? Are you feeling a little uncomfortable? Yeah, because this isn't you, this isn't your "thing.
" You see that? But you you, dear, have to step outside.
You gotta h'yah! You gotta h'yaaah!! You gotta break out of the box.
You gotta at least try.
okay I can't.
I can't.
I c-can't.
Oh! Uh-oh.
Ooh.
You see, there is a big difference between can't and won't.
Huge difference.
Okay, Thank you.
Good.
I'll let, uh, Julianne know.
Nothing more here.
I think you made your choice.
It's okay.
It's the way it goes.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
nice.
Not really.
Okay, um Who's next? Who wants to have some fun? The next thing we're gonna do is the growling exercise.
I need you to pair up Hi.
Hi.
So how is Management Training? I failed.
Hmm because you couldn't tango? No, it's because, uh I'm easy-going, not commanding.
It's because I'm fun, but not intimidating.
It's because my inner tiger is more like a kitten.
I mean what if I'm not meant to be a manager? Okay, let's go back.
You say that you're easy-going, but not commanding.
You know, those two qualities are not mutually exclusive.
Why can't you be both? I don't know, I You know I keep remembering that quote that you once said: "learn to be what you are, and learn to "to resign with good grace all that you are not.
" Henri Frederic Amiel.
Yeah? I just feel like I'm hitting the limitations of my ability, You know? And maybe maybe it's time to face the facts that I'm not cut out for this, you know? Not everybody has what it takes to be a boss.
I think a better way to face it, would be to talk about "if.
" "if?" This has nothing to do with him.
Can we please just stick to the issue? We are.
Fine, "if.
" It's, um It's short for Ivan Frankel.
It's, it's this guy that I dated.
I mean, he he was really sweet, but so not my type.
It was 2001.
I was fresh out of my masters and killing time in this internet cafe, andIvan and I, we had the same shift.
He was the tech, and I handled the cash.
He was friendly and sweet, and really comfortable with who he was.
And I'm not I'm not sure how it happened, but one day we just and after that we kind of started dating.
I mean, being with "if," it was like visiting a different planet.
And it was really fun until this one day he decided that we should go to this thing, what was it called? It's, um a vampire larp.
Mm, what is that? Live action role-playing.
It's some kind of a make-believe Vampire game for grownups.
Totally bizarre.
So, I knew I had to end it, you know, if and I, we were not gonna work out.
But I was so scared to hurt him.
Like you were too scared to hurt Linda.
Well, at least with Linda I made an attempt.
With if I I left my shift that day, I quit my job, and never talked to him again.
Oh, you cut him off.
That's cold.
I was such a coward.
It's not that I think that if was the love of my life, But he didn't deserve to be treated like that Such disrespect.
Okay, and if you could go back? I would do the hard thing.
I would break up with him.
hmm.
Face to face.
oh! What the hell?! I'm Uh You killed it! You killed my computer.
I ruined it.
Agh! Nah, it just needs to dry out, you know? Yeah, I can take it apart, Clean up the motherboard.
It'll be fine.
So, I'm not fired then? not on my watch, you're not.
come here.
Um You know what today is? No.
It's our 10 day anniversary.
Oh.
Happy anniversary.
You too.
Tonight calls for awesomeness.
Are you up for some awesomeness? Mm-hmm, I am.
But you know what? I think that we should talk first.
Yeah, sure, Just let me tell you what we're doing first, okay? You and me are going to a Vampire larp.
A vampire larp? Yeah.
Uh, a vampire Immortal, soulless.
If, that sounds great, But I think that we should talk, okay? There's just there's really something that I need to tell you.
Okay, just wait.
Wait'll you see this here.
Wow, that's a really fancy walking stick.
Uh, it's a blood staff.
Oh.
Oh! Ah-ha, good reflexes.
Ha, you're a natural warrior.
Maybe I need to reconsider.
If, please.
Please tell you what larping is? Hmm, yeah, I guess it's not a part of the general lexicon, Now is it? Okay, um Think of it like, um, playing dress-up or make-believe.
Uh, we dress up as our characters and we go out and interact with each other in the real world.
And then there's rules that govern how we do battle, and how we role-play.
Mm-hm.
And why exactly would you wanna do this? Because it's fun.
Some people collect stamps, others golf.
I larp.
And starting tonight, so do you.
Behold! You are Calliope.
And you belong to a secret sisterhood, uh, a coven that practices healing blood magic.
Uh, where did you get this picture of me? Last week, from a webcam, when you weren't looking.
So, huh? What do you think? Ah, well, I think that you're really very good at photoshop.
Thank you.
Ah! Your cape Oh, I really Wow.
And Yeah.
You're gonna need this also.
Here.
Yeah.
This card spells out your stats.
See, you've got a 5 empathy.
That means that your power is weighted towards healing.
I'm also giving you one secret, special power: Shape-shifting.
You know, like, uh, Odo, on "Deep Space Nine"? Mmm Oh, um, in a nutshell, You can use your blood magic to change into a nosferatu.
oh.
Yeah, I don't think I ever want to do that.
I invoke blood magic to take the form of nosferatu.
My intimidation is five, I stare at you.
What is your bravery? My bravery? One! Your bravery is one.
You are petrified at the sight of me.
Get down on your knees.
On your knees! Kneel before master Cain! I'm kneeling.
Yeah, see? And then you just kinda take it from there.
You know, my-my shift's over and, um, I'm feeling hungry.
Do you wanna maybe grab a bite to eat? Sure.
Oh my God.
Awesome! Hey, I was thinking Master Cain is lonely.
Might be nice for him to have a mistress Cain by his side.
You know? If only because a healer Is very fortuitous in battle.
If, I really need to But not only because of that.
If, I don't think that I can do this.
Ah, what do you mean? You don't wanna larp? No, I don't I mean, I don't think this relationship is right for me.
And that's what I've been feeling and that's what I wanted to talk to you about.
I'm sorry.
Can we still be friends? Oh Uh Just wait a sec while I rip this stake out of my heart.
argh! Yeah.
yeah, of course we can.
Really? And hey, you know, if you, uh if you still wanna larp tonight, uh I got all this gear for you.
Ivan, thank you for the invitation, but I just I just don't think that larping is really my thing.
Ah! Yeah.
No, no, it's uh Hey, it's, it's cool.
Really, it's totally cool.
Uh Man, I I gotta get, get back to work.
I got a couple hours left on my shift, So, I'm sorry Okay, okay.
Oh, um, you know, if you, uh you change your mind about tonight, uh, we're gonna be meeting at "The Stake" at 9:00.
I'll have my cell phone.
Okay.
Vampires, they use cell phones? Yeah I'll see you.
Live long and prosper.
Wow.
What're you doing, Dr.
Tom? Okay, look, here's the deal all right? I came back and I did what I was supposed to do.
I-I broke up with if.
In record time too.
So fast, in fact, you could probably squeeze in a quick round of larping, if you really wanted to.
Running around the city, dressed as a vampire? That's not really my idea of fun.
Hmm.
Still caring what other people think, huh? No, this isn't me caring about what other people think, All right? I'm not a larper! And I'm not a mime.
This really is quite a small box you've got yourself living inside.
It must be very tiring, squeezing yourself into that everyday? I am this, I'm not that.
I am this, I'm not that.
I thought that mimes were supposed to be silent.
Okay Look, I know who I am.
And I came back here And did what I had to do, so So, why are you still here? Uh, yeah.
No, uh, no plans.
Just killing time, waiting to see what the world has in store for me.
Um, hey, Judith, I gotta go.
There's somebody at the door.
Okay, bye.
Uh, hey.
Hi.
Hey.
Um, are we too early or? Did you say Um Oh, uh Yeah, I'm just running a little bit behind, so, come on in.
Okay.
Uh, make yourselves comfortable.
So the wedding's going to be in Montreal, in July.
A summer wedding.
Mmm! So are you planning on moving there? Oh, yeah, we're already looking at houses.
Oh, we're not looking, Claire's looking.
Don't start.
He's upset because my dad's buying us a house.
I just think we should buy our own place.
You know, we could afford a condo.
No, you can't raise a family in a condo.
Of course we can.
What do you think, Erica? Oh Really it's not my place to say.
Ethan, just let it go.
My dad's buying us a wedding gift.
He's allowed.
Okay? Fine.
Hey, we should go if we wanna hit that club, huh? Mmm.
Can I use your bathroom? Sure, it's rig through there.
You know, Ethan, if you don't wanna buy the house, why don't you say something? Um, didn't you see me saying something? No, I saw you getting beaten into submission.
Why do you always do that? I mean, why do you always let her win? Um, well, that's just how we do things.
Claire has a lot of opinions and I don't like to fight.
I know that you don't, but sometimes you have to.
I mean, are you gonna live your whole life just giving into things? If you feel strongly about something then, you know, speak out, push back.
That's not how I work.
What do you mean that's not how you work? I don't like to push; I'm not a fighter.
It's just not me.
It's just not you.
That is such a cop-out.
You're saying it's just not you, like it's not a choice you have, but you do, you could fight.
And, yeah, it would it could be horrible and scary and hard, but you could do it.
Honestly, Erica, it's just easier this way.
That's not a good enough reason.
Okay, let's go.
Are you coming with us? Um Actally, I think I think I'm gonna pass.
My friend, he invited me to this thing and I wanna check it out.
Okay.
Well, dinner was superb.
No, it wasn't, but thanks.
I'll call you later.
Um Maybe you can join us after your thing.
Bye.
Calliope? Welcome to the underworld.
Why are they all, uh Doing that? Because, tonight, I am not Ivan Frankel.
Tonight I am Cain the damned, one of the most powerful vampires in the city, and the leader of my clan.
Greetings.
Magda, Seven, this is Calliope, A blood sorceress.
Calliope, you are most welcome.
Uh, th-thanks.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Magda.
He wears the rune.
Do we battle tonight? Indeed.
Behold! Our enemy awaits.
Leandra.
My friends, Tonight we fight that thief for our rightful property: The other half of the rune.
If we are successful, We, the tribe of Brasov, will be the most powerful vampires in the city.
Drink, you will need your strength.
No! Uh, wait-wait-wait.
If, that's not, I mean, that's not actually Blood? no.
God, no-no-no! It's called "a vampire's kiss.
" It's, uh, vodka, soda, lemon Oh! Be careful! The vampire's kiss can be lethal.
After about four or five, right? Wow.
So, the plan tonight is this: We need to get our hands on that rune.
Leandra will be trying to steal mine.
If things get rough, I may need you to heal me.
Mmm-mmm.
And I will heal away, for I am Calliope the blood sorceress.
That's me.
Mm Um, not quite.
I'm afraid.
You you need a makeover.
You don't really fit in.
I fear for my safety.
Others plot my downfall.
I can feel their bloodlust.
Who is this? Declare yourself.
Calliope.
I'm just a just a blood sorceress.
You're not of our tribe.
And you appear unannounced.
I view your approach as a hostile act.
I invoke "Lake of Fire.
" Lethal strike one! Lethal strike two! I said, I invoke "Lake of Fire.
" Lethal strike three! I don't know, wait-wait, am I supposed to die here or something? You're engulfed in a cloud of fire! I use the rune of elders to conjure a wall of crystal ice.
A barrier that no flame may pass! Erica, you could've been killed.
Look, I'm sorry.
I thought I could just grab the rune.
Oh, no, you don't just grab the rune.
That's not how this works.
Even if you made it passed her bodyguards, you'd have to use magic to win the rune from Leandra.
And trust me, you don't wanna approach someone that powerful without a plan.
What did Calliope say to Leandra? She doth demand justice.
A battle is called.
The troops are already on their way.
Oh, dear.
Did I do something wrong? Brothers and sisters in blood, Tonight, we do battle for the missing piece of the rune of elders.
Defeat is not an option.
We will be victorious! Ha! And when we prevail all of the city shall kneel at our feet and our cups shall overflow with sweet crimson blood, and we will reign supreme.
Hello? Hey! That club had a 2 hour line-up.
So, I don't know if you wanna meet up, or if you're still mad? No, hey, I'm not mad, okay? I'm just I'm just concerned.
You know, you really sell yourself short, Ethan.
Whoa! Go forth! Rise up and defeat our enemies! Ha ha ha! Where are you? Um, I'm I'm larping in a graveyard.
You're what-ing in a graveyard? Look, it's too hard to explain right now, but we're gonna be going to "The Stake" soon.
Oh, the goth bar? Yeah.
Okay, Claire and I can meet you there, I guess.
No, Ethan, really, you don't Whoa! Ahhh! Ouch! I was on the phone! And now you have lost a hand.
Oh, for pete's sake.
Hey.
Magda and Seven have been burned to death.
Leandra and her minions draw close.
I fear the end is nigh! Oh, well, do you do you want me to go, like, heal them? Their bodies are ash.
No, you must save your strength, Heal those who still have a chance.
Um I summon a burrowing stake.
It pierces your skin, tearing your flesh for 3 points of damage.
Lethal hit one.
Lethal hit two! Lethal hit three! Calliope, heal me! I don't know what to do? Four! Argh! Wait, wait! We are granted one counter strike.
Agh! Raise your hand, make a fist, and say "I invoke blood sorcery to heal the form.
" Raise your hand, Calliope! The stake burrows deeper into your chest.
It pierces your ribs, it hunts your heart.
I invoke the blood sorcery.
Lethal hit five point of damage! Calliope! I invoke blood sorcery to heal the form.
She cannot invoke with a missing hand.
I dispatched it from her body myself.
Be this true? Well, he dispatched one of them.
So, use the other hand.
What difference does it make? The stake pierces your heart! I, Leandra, control the rune of Elders.
Queen's guard to me! Um Here's your thingy.
My friends, Leandra controls the rune and thus the city.
We all must pay homage to her now.
Uh, rules allow one final drink together, then our clan is no more.
Hey, hey, look at least I didn't, you know, really lose my hand.
And your heart's still pumping, right? This isn't a joke.
No, I know.
All you had to do was call out one simple spell.
Like, it's taken me years, Erica.
Years! To get to the level that I am at and yeah, I just lost it all in one night.
I'm sorry.
You tell that to Seven and Magda when Leandra turns them into peasants and strips away all their powers.
I mean, it's not real.
Yeah, I know this isn't real.
All right, I'm not insane.
Okay, I'm sorry, it's just it's it's really crazy to an outsider.
It just it is.
Look, one night, every couple of weeks, I get to hang out with my friends, and bring out the person who I really am, okay? Deep down.
You know, not Ivan the tech geek, or Ivan the girl-retard who got dumped today.
See, I get to be me.
I get to show the world the parts of Ivan Frankel that nobody ever imagined he possessed, you know? Like strength and bravery and confidence.
But you you just you only see the surface.
You know, you see duct tape weapons, and geeks running around playing make-believe.
No, that's not true.
Really? You were embarrassed to heal me, but but who here would judge you? Hunh? No one.
The only one judging you is yourself.
Erica? You're wearing a cape.
I am.
Hey, no offense but I really don't think this is your thing.
No, it's-it's not.
So, why don't I take you to the little witch's room, wash off your face, and we can go to a real bar? That's, uh, that sounds like a great idea.
You know, would you just would you wait here for me for a minute? There's something that I need to do, okay? I'll be back.
Hello, little blood sorceress.
Have you come looking for death again? Kill her.
I invoke blood sorcery to turn me into a nosferatu! I am now a nosferatu.
and as a shape-shifter My hand has been restored! My intimidation is five! What is your bravery, wench? My bravery is four.
Get down on your knees.
Down on your knees! I invoke the power of the rune of Elders to grant me fearlessness.
I cast crimson fire.
balls of flame are exploding over you for three points of damage.
what is your resistance? My resistance is a two.
I'm melting! I'm melting! Know your place and stay there.
Yeah.
Nicely done.
Kamikaze suicide mission.
Ivan, I I'm so sorry about all of this.
It's okay.
Seven and I are actually plotting our return.
Yeah.
As a new clan: The Halavars! So, um I'll see you around? Yeah.
Linda, um, I'm so sorry about that.
I just, uh must have low blood-sugar right now.
Well, honey, if you've got low blood-sugar, then a tart is exactly what you need.
I call these "better tarts.
" They're your everyday butter tart, but with spirulina and royal jelly, added for extra zing.
Yeah.
I know.
Uh, Linda, would you just excuse me for one minute? I'll be right back.
Of course, but take a tart.
Don't argue.
Okay.
Erica? Where are you going? Bawk-bawk-bawk-bawk.
No, I'm not chickening out, Brent, okay? I just need a minute, okay? I just I need a latte.
What is going on? What am I doing back here? I'm giving you a do-over.
A do-what? A do-over.
To answer the question: Can you do this? Even though it scares you, even though it's hard, even though you don't want to, can you do what you need to do? And since when is a do-over allowed, hm? Since when isn't it? Look, the book, it's bad.
and Linda, she completely ignored our notes.
And I know that it's the right thing to do, but I just, I can't I can't help but feel, you know, paralyzed.
What if what if she cries? What if she does? I can't go in there and be all cold and unfeeling and do it the way that Brent would.
Who says that you need to do it the way that Brent would? Why don't you go in there and do it the way that Erica would.
"Thinking is easy, acting is difficult," "and to put one's thoughts into action", "the most difficult thing in the world.
" Goethe.
I think a fresh latte might help things go down a little easier.
Oh.
Well, aren't you a sweetheart.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
So, I know you haven't brought me in here just to make a latte.
No, I didn't, um It's about your book.
You've had a chance to read my first chapters? I am so proud of them.
I'm sure that you are, Linda.
You you put a lot of hard work into them.
Oh, that's wonderful.
So, what do we do next? This is my first book, it's all very new and exciting for me.
Linda I am sorry to have to tell you this, but there isn't gonna be a next step.
What do you mean? Uh, I just, it's um It's not working.
You didn't address our notes from the last pass and it just It it feels like you have a different vision for the book than we do.
If I could have another shot at making it work I'm sorry, you can't.
It's not working for us.
The book is not working for us.
Oh, my I can't believe this is happening to me.
I'm sorry.
You're sorry? That's rich.
Linda I didn't do the notes, because the notes didn't make sense.
You are paying me to share my recipes with the world.
And so I should be able to do that exactly how I want to.
Well, that's not how this works.
Fine.
Here you go.
Thank you.
Can I have a word before you go? Of course.
Sit.
Well, I gotta say, I wasn't sure you had it in you.
I wasn't sure myself at all.
Well, you keep surprising me.
Once upon a time, I thought I was gonna have to fire you, too.
And instead, I get to do this.
Do you see that chicken scratch there? That is Frank Galvin's signature.
Your promotion has been approved.
Wow.
Congratulations.
Thank you, Julianne.
Good night.
At the end of the day, it comes down to this: The way we choose to see ourselves, it limits who we can be.
Step outside the box, and you might learn something.
Because we are more capable than we imagine.
Because we all have it in us to do things we've never done before.
No, I don't wanna discuss it.
then we'll go to court.
I'm not settling; I'm not gonna give in.
If she wants to fight, then we'll fight.
Because sometimes we can surprise even ourselves.