Black Scorpion (2001) s01e12 Episode Script

(ominous music)
- Flower delivery.
Sign here.
- I am highly allergic to flowers.
(inhaler hisses)
Get them out of here.
- Not my job.
- Miss Peabody,
I want you to remove
these flowers at once.
(inhaler hisses)
- It's not my job either.
(dramatic music)
(people chattering)
(intense music)
- Fine.
I'll get rid of them myself.
You people are
(laughing)
(dramatic music)
- Welcome to First Angel's
Bank, can I help you?
- I've come to make a withdrawal.
- How much would you like?
- Everything.
- Everything in your account?
- No, everything in the bank.
- Yes, of course, Mr.--
- Greenthumb's the name,
and these two lovely flowers
are Tiger Lily, African Violet.
(snarling playfully)
- Come, come, girls, time to go to work.
We must rake in the green, rake it in.
Oh ho, ooh.
- What the hell is going on here?
- That guy in the funny
suit is robbing us.
- Don't just stand there!
Do something.
- Okay, I'll sit down.
- Are you crazy?
- Here, you hold this, it is heavy.
(inhaler hisses)
- Oh.
Oh.
You know, some poppy powder
might make you sleep.
(hissing)
- Yeah.
Nighty night.
(sneezes)
- God bless you.
- Thank you.
Can't seem to shake this cold.
- Buy a rose for your sweetheart?
(laughing)
- This isn't my sweetheart,
she's just one of the guys.
- [Dispatcher] All units,
robbery in progress
at First Angel's Bank,
suspects armed with plants?
- Did he say plants?
- Yeah.
Unit 2963 responding.
Let's go, it's a Code seven.
- Okay, okay, I'm coming.
- Sir, your check?
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
Sorry, code seven, pal.
- Code seven?
- Yes.
(siren wailing)
- The cops.
- What do we do?
- Let's make like a tree and leave.
- Police! Freeze.
(loud crash)
(tires screech)
- Fire.
(gun firing)
(suspenseful music)
- [Narrator] In the light of
day, Darcy Walker is a cop.
But in the dark of night, she becomes
Black Scorpion.
Doing with a mask what
she can't do with a badge.
(dramatic music)
- Police! Freeze.
- I got the plant.
- I got the tree.
- You're under (sneezes).
- Gesundheit.
- Cuff him, Slugger.
- Ah, I gotta put that on
a list of things to do,
but I could really use a nap.
- Oh, there's too much
crime going on here, man.
- Steve, help me out.
- You know, Darce, I'm
just feeling a little
I think it's time for me to
take a little break over here.
(sneezes)
- Oh, it seems that your stuffed up nose
has made you immune to
my Apathetias, Detective.
- Apathetias?
- Yes, those wonderful droopy
plants you see everywhere.
- Look, the only green I'm
interested in is money.
Now, hand it over.
- Girls, you heard what the cop said.
(women grunting)
(intense music)
Ooh,
ah.
(grunts)
Oh.
Aw.
(sighs)
Excellent, excellent work
my perfumed petunias.
(giggling)
(dramatic music)
(tires screech)
- Activate auto-transform.
(electricity crackles)
- Thumb up for that bank
job, my budding beauties.
- Greenthumb, you're the greatest!
(laughs)
- Yeah, you really make my twigs twitch.
- Ooh, I love hearing
you talk dirty to me.
(tires screech)
Uh-oh.
- What's wrong, Greeny?
- Black Scorpion.
- That pest.
- What are we gonna do?
- Well, we squash her like
the bug she really is.
(laughs)
(plants exploding loudly)
(chuckles)
- Look, we're making potholes. (laughs)
(plants exploding loudly)
- Ooh.
- Engage thermal shields.
(console beeping)
(laughter)
- Yes!
(plants exploding loudly)
(screams)
(plants exploding loudly)
- Whoa!
(loud crash)
(laughs) Allow me to
recycle those for you.
(laughs) Good work, good work.
Now, it's time to nip
this chase in the bud.
(loud hissing)
(laughs)
(coughing)
(tires screeching)
- (sigh) Greenthumb.
(coughing)
- [Argyle] No, cut it.
Cut it.
- Hey, hey.
(grunts)
What's wrong with it?
- [Argyle] You got a
clogged air intake valve.
(sneezes)
- Oops.
- Thanks, Blue.
- Sorry, but I think I've got two.
- Girl, cover your mouth.
- Sorry, Veronica.
- Sorry's not gonna do my any good
if I can't smell the
big, beautiful bouquet
my Argyle's gonna buy
me for Valentine's day.
- What?
- You heard me.
And no excuses about how tight money is.
- It's not about the money, baby.
It's just I don't know
anything about flowers.
My thumb ain't green, it's black.
And besides, I already got
you a Valentine's day present.
- I don't remember any present.
- You don't remember that
new oil filter I got you?
- I had to pay for that.
- But I installed it for free.
- Men.
- I think you can do a lot better.
- [Greenthumb] A toast
to my beautiful Apathetias.
- Yes.
- How come the fumes
didn't make us apathetic?
- Well, you just drank the
answer, my precious peach.
- We did?
- Mm-hmm.
This rosehips liquor
that we've been imbibing
for the past week counteracts the effect
of the Apathetias.
That's why we're able to rob the bank.
- So what are we gonna
do with all this green?
- Phase two of my plan.
- Well, don't leave us out on a limb.
- I'm going to launch
a massive ad campaign.
- Ah. (laughs)
What are we selling?
(whimsical music)
- Gasp-for-airius, only a dime
a dozen for Valentine's day.
One sniff will leave
your lover breathless.
Available only at Gardener's Garden.
(plants cooing)
- Babbette,
order a dozen of those flowers.
Oh, what the hell.
At that price, order two dozen.
- How romantic.
- Well.
- Do you want to attach a card?
- Oh, good idea.
Take this down.
My dearest darling.
- Artie.
- After all these years together,
our love is still as fresh
and new as spring time.
- Aww, Artie.
- Happy Valentine's Day to my dear
wife.
- Wife?
- Well, I, I, I,
I hope you understand.
- I hope you understand what
the words not tonight mean.
- Babette?
- Ah.
With my fabulous commercials
playing around the clock,
it won't be long before
everything's coming up
Gasp-for-airius.
- I never heard of Gasp-for-airius.
- Yeah, what are they anyway?
- Well, why don't I just show you,
my curious chrysanthemums.
Right this way.
Either of you girls ever
heard of photosynthesis?
- [Tiger Lily] Photo sin?
Does it have anything to do with
dirty pictures?
(laughing)
- Oh, no, no.
It has to do with carbon dioxide.
You see, plants suck in the
poisonous gases in the air,
and then emit the oxygen
that we all breath.
Now, I have created a plant
that does the same thing, except
in reverse.
In other words, it sucks in the good air
and emits the poisonous gases.
Behold.
The
Gasp-for-airius.
(gasps)
- But how are we gonna
make any money off of this.
We're only charging 10 cents a bouquet.
- Because the antidote
plant is very expensive.
- Antidote plant?
- Yes.
I call it
the Oxydendron.
(plant purring)
It emits oxygen back in
to the air we breath.
- How did you learn how to grow all these
different kinds of plants?
- When you're born with a thumb like this,
what would expect me to
do, become a dentist?
- You're a genius, Greenie.
We'll make more money selling air
than we ever could robbing banks. (laughs)
- I'm not in this for the money.
- Then why are you doing it?
- For love.
(dramatic music)
(crying)
- Babette!
Babette, can I see you for a moment?
- There, you've seen me.
Happy?
- No.
You've been avoiding me all day.
It gets lonely in here.
I need someone to talk to.
- Then talk to Captain Strickland.
- Strickland?
- He's on line one.
- You better have some good
news about those bank robberies.
- Well, sir, I, I don't.
The only thing the three banks
have in common are plants.
Greenthumb called them Apathetias.
They seem to have some kind of pollen
that makes people passive.
- That's all you've got?
- Yes sir.
- Well,
until you've got more, don't
waste my precious mayoral time
with minor details.
- Well, um, I am sending Walker out
to check the local florist
to see if any of them carry Apathetias.
Oh, Walker, get a dozen
flowers for my wife, will you?
You know, the ones with the weird name,
Gasp-for-what-eous.
- Well,
you better hope that she
comes up with a lead.
Because if you don't catch
this big thumb character,
the only thing you are
gonna catch is a cold
directing traffic.
- Oh Artie.
You sounded so forceful.
- Oh, does that mean you've forgiven me?
- Oh, I can't help myself.
I just love it when you give orders.
- Oh, well, in that case,
order my wife flowers.
- I don't love it that much.
- Ow!
- Excuse me.
I'm Detective Walker, I'm
looking for Eugene Gardner.
- I'm Eugene.
- Oh, nice to meet you, Mr. Gardner.
- Uh, (clears throat)
yes, how may I help you?
- I'd like to ask you a few questions.
- Oh, I'm very busy right now, you know,
business is blooming, as
we flowers like to say.
- This won't take long.
Do you know anything about Greenthumb?
- Only what I read in the papers.
Why?
- We think some local flower shops
have been supplying him with Apathetias.
- Apathetias, why no such
plant exists in nature.
- Well, that's what
Greenthumb called them.
- Well, maybe he was
(plant squeaks)
cross pollinating, you know,
creating his own special species.
Just a theory, but I must, I'm so busy.
Thank you.
- Of course.
Thanks for your time.
- Do you think she knows?
- Not yet.
But by the time she finds
out, it'll be too late.
By my calculations, 83%
of the city's households
have already ordered
Gasp-for-airius for Valentine's Day.
- We'll need to hire more delivery men.
- Mmm, that's true.
But right now, I need just two
to make a very special delivery,
tonight.
- Oh, they're the most beautiful
flowers I've ever seen.
- They're the most beautiful
flowers I've ever created.
I call them
Amoratus.
Now, please, deliver this to this address.
- Mayor Worth's office?
You got a thing for authority figures?
- No, but I've got a thing
for someone who does.
- Well, what do you think?
- I like them over here.
- She won't notice them
unless they are on the desk.
- The desk is too obvious.
They belong on the mantle.
- [Security Guard] One,
two
three,
shoot!
(machine beeping)
- Aw, shoot.
Mayor's working late.
- That can't be our mayor.
- Maybe somebody broke in.
- About 12, break-in
in the mayor's office,
yada, yada, yada.
Call the police.
- Phone number?
- 9-1-1.
- Roger that.
- [Dispatcher] Come in,
Unit Two-Niner-Six-Three.
- Yeah, go ahead, Dispatch.
- [Dispatcher] Please respond
to break-in at city hall.
- Two-Niner-Six-Three responding.
- [Security Guard] What's going on?
- We are trying to decide
where the flowers look best.
I like them on the desk.
And I like them on the mantel.
- What do you think?
- The mantel.
- [Security Guard] What
are my options again?
- All right, pull over right over here.
I'm gonna go around the
back, go up the stairs.
You go in the front, use the elevator.
- Right behind you.
- I told you the mantel.
- I still say the desk.
(laughing)
- If anybody asks, we'll
tell them you're all tied up.
- Yeah, we heard it through the grapevine.
(laughing)
- Freeze!
Police.
- Looks like Greenthumb was right.
Cops are like weeds.
- Yeah.
Always showing up where
you don't want them.
- What do you say we wack him?
(African Violet laughing)
- Ooh, yes.
- [Both] The mantel.
- Drop the weed whacker,
or you two will be pushing up daisies.
- Black Scorpion.
- What do you say we transplant her?
- I'd rather mow her down.
- It's time you two flowers
turned over a new leaf.
(electricity crackling)
(girls groaning)
- You're under arrest.
- You know you really need
to get a new pickup line.
- I'm not trying to pick you up.
I'm trying to take you down.
(sneezes)
Ah!
God bless you.
- Thank you.
And I'm sorry.
- For what?
- This.
(grunts)
- Are those flowers mum?
- Cap, they're not mums.
One's an African violet, the
other one's a tiger lily.
- Ah, you nincompoop, I
mean are they talking?
- I don't know.
- No, they're waiting for their lawyers.
Some guy named Mr. Green.
- I have a delivery
for Captain Strickland.
- Yeah, right here, here.
Must be there flowers I ordered.
- All right, we'll go get the rest.
- The rest, huh?
- Geez, all I'm saying is,
I would have caught Black Scorpion
if I had a little bit of backup.
- I told you the elevator got stuck.
Now, what was I supposed to do?
- (scoffs) I know what I would have done.
- What?
- (yawning) You know,
I think I would have,
I would have taken a little, little break.
Time for a little R&R.
- Cap, how many of these things you order?
- Just, just a dozen.
- Just a dozen, huh?
- Must have been a computer foul up.
- Yeah.
- Well,
who cares.
- Not me.
- Well, certainly not me.
- Steve, we've gotta get
these flowers outta here.
- Why?
They're Apathetias.
- So.
- Slugger, Specs?
- Walker, Darcy?
(laughing)
We're on break.
- Me, too.
- Captain?
- Oh, don't look at me.
- Don't look at him.
- I'm thinking about retiring.
- Good idea, Captain.
I think you oughta retire.
Cap?
- What?
- Where'd all the flowers go?
- I don't care.
- I think they're stolen.
(dramatic music)
- [Both] Greenthumb. (laughing)
- Now that's what I call flower power.
- Oh, my goodness me.
I didn't know that violets
and lilies could thrive
in captivity.
- We're not thriving.
- We're wilting.
(dramatic music)
- Never fear my bosomy blossoms.
I'm green,
I'm mean,
and I'm on the scene.
(laughing)
- Are you gonna spring us, Greenthumb?
- Yes, well, spring is
my favorite time of the year, you know.
- So, how are you gonna do it?
- Very simple.
By asking one of the City of Angels finest
to lend us a hand.
Pardon me, Officer,
would you be so kind
as to give us the keys
to the handcuffs?
Oh, thank you very much.
Oh, there you are.
- Time to reap what you sow, Greenthumb.
- Oh, look, Black Scorpion.
- Black Scorpion.
Sorry, but this bitter harvest isn't mine.
It's yours.
Prune back her petals.
(dramatic music)
(women grunting)
(dramatic music)
(laughing)
(squealing)
- Oh, yes.
- Oh, what a surprise.
It's very good on someone else.
(girls laughing)
Shall we?
- Yes.
- Let's go.
- Should we be doing something?
- Nah.
- Maybe we should call the police.
- [Captain] We are the police.
- [Slugger] All right, call yourself.
- Oh, my god, Artie.
- I know.
Look at the shambles.
- They're beautiful.
- Huh?
- Champs are my favorite.
You remembered.
- I did?
I mean, well, of course I did.
- I'm sorry I ever
doubted your love for me.
- Well, now don't you feel silly?
- Actually, silly isn't
what I'm feeling at all.
(laughing)
- She loves me, she loves me not.
She loves me, she loves me not.
She loves me, she loves me not.
She loves me, ah.
- I don't get it.
Why did we risk jail delivering flowers
to that bimbo Babette?
- Yeah.
What's so special about her?
- What's so special?
She loves me.
Can't you see, she loves
me, and I've loved her
oh, as long as I can remember.
(romantic music)
There you are, Babette.
It's for you, Happy Valentine's Day.
- They're beautiful, thank you.
- Oh, but they're not as
beautiful as you are, Babette,
my little Parisian pet.
- (giggles) Eugene.
- Babette, can I ask you something?
- Anything.
- Well,
if you're French, how come
you don't live in France?
- Well,
don't tell anyone, but
I'm not really French.
My real name is Agnes.
I changed it to Babette
because it sounds more
classy, and sophisticated.
- But why are you worried
about being sophisticated?
- Because I wanna get
out of this little town
and be somebody someday.
- Who?
- I don't know.
Maybe the wife of a
a doctor,
or a lawyer.
- Or a florist?
- Maybe.
Eugene, can I ask you something?
- Anything.
- Why do always keep
your hand in your pocket?
- Well, I,
well, I don't keep this
hand in if you note, I mean.
It's an old
There's an interesting story about that,
but I, in fact, I was
thinking of telling you--
- Gather around, gather around.
Ahem. (clears throat)
- Well, it's a long story,
and, I've, uh---
- My friends.
I promise you that if you elect me
there will be tax cuts,
real low,
plunging tax cuts.
And our government will be in great shape.
Because
I believe in a
firm,
hard,
well-rounded government.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I have a campaign promise just for you.
(dramatic music)
(somber music)
- Babette, don't go.
- Sorry, Eugene.
This is my chance to be somebody.
- What are you saying?
- See you, Happy Valentine's Day.
(somber music)
- I'll be somebody someday.
Somebody real powerful.
More powerful
than him.
- That was the saddest
story I've ever heard.
- Please, cry no more, my weeping willows.
For this story is going
to have a happy ending.
- It is?
- Yes.
When I take over the entire
air supply of the city,
and I control it,
then Babette will see just
how powerful a man I am.
And I'll win her back
with the same flowers
she rejected me with.
- Not to mention ruining
Valentine's Day for everyone else.
- Well, yeah, there's that.
- Yeah, I asked for a table with a view.
- Oh this one does have a view
of better tables.
(laughing)
- Oh, so that's what happens
when you Code seven a waiter.
- Well, any table with a view of my man
is good enough for me.
Happy Valentine's Day, baby.
(exaggerated smooching)
- Buy a bouquet for
your ladies, gentlemen?
- Uh, well, uh
Argyle?
- Don't look at me, I'm allergic.
- To flowers?
- No, to spending money.
(laughing)
- But they're practically free.
Here.
Have a whiff.
- What, what do you say, baby?
- I don't feel so good.
- Uh, I don't either.
- Must be something going around.
- You feel it too?
(dramatic music)
(plant gasping)
- There's still no explanation
for the mysterious illness
that is sweeping our fair city.
- What is going on?
How come the whole city is sick?
- And why aren't we?
- Yeah.
- Because neither of you
ordered flowers for Valentine's Day.
- You Mr. Mayor because you're too cheap.
- Now, just hold on a minute.
- And you, lovely lady,
because
you're in love.
In love with someone from your past.
- The past?
- I resent you calling me cheap.
It's just that money's been tight lately
because of my re-election campaign.
- You can campaign all you want,
but from now on, I'll be in
charge of running this city.
- The whole city?
- That's right.
How you may ask?
Go ahead, you may ask how.
- How?
- How?
- That's a good question.
The only way to counteract the
effect of my Gasp-for-airius
is with my antidote plant, the Oxydendron.
Now, what does he want
in exchange, you may ask.
Go ahead, you may ask.
- [Both] What does he want?
- One billion dollars.
- That would make you the
richest man in the city.
- And the most powerful.
- Why, Babette, are you all right?
You're shaking like a leaf.
- I'm just a little weak in the knees.
- Oh, well, that just
means that your root system
needs more nourishment.
- No, I just get this
way around powerful men.
- Oh, Babette.
Go on,
my little Parisian pet.
- What did you call me?
- The same thing I've been
calling you all my life.
My little Parisian pet.
- Eugene.
- Eugene?
- Eugene Gardner,
is it really you?
- It is I.
- What happened to you?
- Well, let's just say I was
a late bloomer.
- I'll say.
- Babette, will you marry me?
Will you be my budding bride?
- Oh, yes, Eugene, yes.
- Babette?
- I'm sorry, Artie, but,
he's got me under his spell.
- You can send the billion
dollars to my flower shop
by midnight tonight.
Behold!
My greatest creation:
The Venus Scorpion Trap.
- Wow.
The leaves are so big.
- Yes.
It's a relative of the Venus flytrap.
It's grown with a special blend
of horse, goat, and bull fertilizer.
- It looks hungry.
- It is hungry
for Black Scorpion, ah!
- Ooh, it's horrible.
- Thank you.
- [Mayor] Strickland!
Strickland!
Strickland!
- Mayor Worth?
- Is that you, Detective Walker?
- What's wrong?
- Babette has left me for Big thumb.
- Big thumb?
- Greenthumb.
- [Darcy] Sorry to hear that.
- But you got to help me get her back.
- Before or after I save the city?
- Oh, forget the city.
I must have Babette.
- Mr. Mayor, I wouldn't even
know where to look for her.
- They're at Gardner's Gardens.
- How do you know that?
- Because that's where he
told me to deliver the ransom.
You see, Greenthumb is
really Eugene Gardner.
Detective, you've got
to get her back for me.
(dramatic music)
- Computer, auto transform.
- At last, my little Parisian pet.
The Valentine's Day we never had.
(laughing)
- And you never will.
At least not for 10 to 20 years
without the possibility of parole.
- What do we do, Eugene?
- Oh, the choice is very
easy for you, Babette.
You can go back to
wherever bimbos come from,
or you can go to jail
for being his accomplice.
- That is an easy choice.
See ya.
Happy Valentine's Day.
- Babette, Babette.
- Well, Greenthumb,
it looks like it's just us lonely hearts.
- Won't be lonely for
long, Black Scorpion.
Lily!
Violet!
- Yes, Greenthumb.
- Turn her into mulch.
- With pleasure.
- You two have been thorns
in my side long enough.
(women grunting)
(intense music)
(dramatic music)
(creature growling)
- Oh, no, no, no, not me.
Not me, you idiot, I created you.
- No, no, no! (screaming)
- No, no, no! (screaming)
(groaning)
- No, no, don't eat me, I'm your daddy.
Bad plant, bad plant.
- Don't worry, Greenthumb.
Maybe you'll grow back in the spring.
(dramatic music)
(plant burps)
- Then again, maybe not.
- The Oxydendrons are cleaning the air.
Now, there's absolutely no
trace of Gasp-for-airius
or Apathetias.
Now, let's get back to work.
- It's worth a try.
- Yeah.
Cap, what are you dating that thing, now?
- Valentine's Day came and went,
and I still haven't seen a single flower.
- I sell single flowers.
- Um, I'm a little short on cash.
- That's okay.
Who wants flowers anyway.
I'd rather have diamonds.
- Psst.
Psst.
Gimme a dozen.
On second thought, better make that two.
Gimme my change.
You have a good day.
Here you go, baby.
- Thank you, baby.
- So, Miss Espinoza.
Do you, uh, type?
- No hablo ingles.
- Yeah, well, that's
That's not essential.
One, final question.
How would you feel about
keeping secrets from my wife?
- Yo no se.
- You no say?
Perfect.
Got the job.
- Over my buxom body.
- Uh, Babette, what are you doing here?
- I'd like to interview for the position.
- Uh, I've no idea what
position you're referring to.
- Whatever position you'd like.
I'm very flexible. (giggles)
- Au revoir, senorita.
- I don't think she understands French.
- Well, in that case,
sayonara, shalome, arrivederci, ciao.
(dramatic music)
(soft knocking)
- Hi.
- Hi.
- What are you doing here?
- Happy belated Valentine's Day.
- They're beautiful.
But I thought I was just one of the guys.
- I treat you that way because
- Because?
- Because if I didn't,
I would probably fall in love with you.
- Um,
I, uh,
I don't know what to say.
- Don't say anything.
(sneezes)
- Gesundheit.
- I'm sorry.
Oh, no.
- What's wrong?
- Oh, I think I caught
Black Scorpion's cold.
- Just my luck.
- Say, you don't have any chicken
soup, or anything, do you?
(sighs)
(upbeat music)