Bunheads (2012) s01e12 Episode Script

1 5, 6, 7, 8 Clean up those shuffles.
Make sure you really change your weight on your feet.
( Music playing ) All right.
Great job, everyone.
Clap for yourselves, please.
And the ghost of Donald O'Connor applauds you as well.
Don't say that name.
Don't ever say that name.
Wow, what's with Maybin? She just bit my head off.
You didn't mention Donald O'Connor, did you? - Yeah.
- Big mistake.
Hey, question when is the adult tap class doing a recital? Well, I'd say probably never.
What? Why? The shorties do recitals all the time.
Yeah, but the shorties have a built in audience.
You guys don't.
Are you saying people wouldn't come to an adult tap recital? They might if it was an adult film star tap recital.
Well, then maybe not a recital, but we have to do something.
Oh, I know.
How about a tap dance flash mob? A tap dance flash mob? Yeah yeah.
Like we run into Nordstroms without warning and we surround that dude playing the piano, and then we do a shuffle step, a couple of stamps, add a flap heel, and then we throw shoes at him.
Why would you throw shoes at him? I don't know.
'Cause we're mad at him for some reason.
Maybe we could set up some sort of performance in town that wouldn't include an assault.
Well, I'm open.
See you.
Hey.
What happened with Maybin and Donald O'Connor? Oh, it's dark.
Really dark.
Oh, and don't mention Fiorello Laguardia or Bob Barker around her either.
Trust me.
( Crickets chirping ) ( Switch clicks ) ( Door shuts ) Hey, Michelle.
- Hi.
- Hey.
What are you doing here? I totally blew at class today.
I just couldn't nail that move you showed us that fouette into the attitude turn.
Yeah, it's tricky.
Yeah, so I thought I'd come down and rehearse a little.
I like it when it's empty and quiet.
Didn't mean to interrupt anything.
No, I was just taking off.
The place is all yours.
Just lock up when you're done, okay? Sure, thanks.
How are things at home? Parents still fighting? At the moment, they're just not speaking, so we're going through a much-needed quiet period.
Well, I'm proud of you.
I hope you know that.
Proud of what? Just making it through Joffrey, being back here with everything going on.
It's been a long road.
Very.
And I hope you know that if you ever need someone to talk to, or just a place to hang I'm here.
Thanks.
So is he outside or still on his way? - Who? - Dude.
- Outside.
- Yo, Roman! - Hello, Roman.
- Hello, Michelle.
- You getting taller? - Maybe.
- You're getting taller.
- How did you know? Oh, little one, I have done all that you have done or shall do, thought of all you've thought or shall think.
I am all-knowing.
I am Michelle.
- Roman: Can I go? - Yes.
( Door closes ) Got leftovers at my place, - you hungry? - I can always eat.
I swear he's getting taller.
- Maybe.
- He's definitely not getting shorter.
( Switch clicks ) ( Theme music playing ) Bunheads 1x12 - Channing Tatum Is a Fine Actor Original air date January 14, 2013 ( Piano playing ) Not bad.
Ladies, use your center.
Partnering is not just on the guys, it's 50-50.
Very mediocre.
( Exhales sharply ) Eric, Edgar, you're losing steam.
Guys, Swan Lake, three hours long.
Remember that.
Getting worse.
Getting worse.
Okay.
Let's do it again.
Come on! Okay, okay.
All right.
( Music stops ) Nice work, everybody.
Nice work.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Apologies to the guys.
Guys? What, you're not even talking to me? Is this it? Is our relationship over? ( Cellphone ringing ) - Talia, hey.
- Open the e-mail I just sent you.
That's a fine how do you do.
Just open it now.
It's top priority and time sensitive.
All right.
Hold your horses, Claire Danes.
What am I looking at? Our friend, Marion.
Oh, so it's a photo.
It's fuzzy.
It's the best photo we had of him.
- It's a him? - Of course it's a him.
His name's Marion? John Wayne's given name was Marion, at least according to Marion.
- It's a very fuzzy photo.
- It's not the best, - I'll grant you that.
- Is Marion being attacked by a giant moth? - That's his beard.
- His beard has wings? - Michelle! - Why am I looking at this? 'Cause you're going out with him.
- Talia, no.
- Yes.
He's going to be in the Paradise area and I told him all about you.
You know I don't do blind dates.
It's not blind.
You've got a picture.
Of a woman with a moth eating her face.
He's actually a very attractive real estate developer.
And where do you know Marion from? He's a friend of Rick's.
Your boyfriend Rick? Rick is in his 60s.
- How old is Marion? - Rick said he's way younger than him.
Have you seen Marion in person? I'm trusting my Ricky on this.
Nothing about this smells good.
Give it a shot.
What can it hurt? - Does he have teeth? - Rick's friends have teeth.
Maybe not the ones they were born with.
Marion.
( Groans ) I'm so ridiculously stressed.
Shh! Trying to read a book here.
Why are you staring at me? Just drinking in the picture.
And sweaty.
Look how sweaty I am.
I'm practically dripping.
I mean it.
Super trying to focus.
Shoot.
Is George Wilson Myrtle's husband or brother? He was supposed to arrive tonight.
Carl? I had his homecoming perfectly timed out.
Then he went way out of his way to catch an early train because he wanted to get home to me as soon as possible.
Boo, that's sweet.
Carl was away at camp all summer and he missed you.
( Camera clicks ) That's insulting.
When am I ever going to get another opportunity? Coming home early totally messed up all of my perfect planning.
I was gonna get a manicure.
I was gonna have one of those baths with the scented bath bomb.
And I was gonna get my hair done, and I was gonna - never mind.
- You were gonna what? I don't want to say.
Is it some sort of down-there grooming? Matisse! Shut up.
You do not know about things like that.
Well, clearly I do.
Melanie: Brother George is the brother.
I knew that.
I don't even know what to wear.
I brought a couple of options.
I need your opinion.
This one's cute but summery, this one's a little sexier.
Natalie Portman's my role model.
Which one would Natalie wear? - I like the first one.
- So do I.
And I think Natalie would too.
Summery it is.
Melanie! - Are you well? - Yes.
She fell behind in her summer reading list for school.
And the books aren't helping.
I'm halfway through this thing and the stupid whale hasn't even shown up yet.
There's no whale in "The Great Gatsby.
" Are you joking? Where the hell is this stinker going if there's no whale? Many's a night F.
Scott pondered that very same question.
( Chuckles ) Oh, shoot.
I left the bag with all my makeup downstairs.
I'll just get changed at home.
Wait, Boo.
What were you talking about before with Matisse? Shaving above my knees.
Oh, Boo.
Later.
- Surprise! - Carl! What are you doing here? I got lucky and caught the super early train.
Actually got up before reveille.
- Come here.
- No.
What are you doing? - I'm gross.
- Put those down.
- No.
- I want to hug you.
- No.
- Boo, stop.
Come on.
Carl, I just finished class and I came straight here from The Oyster Bar.
I was manning the vats.
- I don't care.
- I smell like zucchini sticks.
This is ridiculous.
It's not fair to lie about a train.
Wait wait.
Hold on here.
Is there something else.
Something you're not telling me? I switched deodorants.
I'm very unsure about this new deodorant.
No, Boo.
We were apart for six weeks.
Is there anything you need to say to me? - Like what? - You know what.
Look, I have nothing to confess to.
I was good.
Not that Camp Wannapamothpa is a hot bed of sexual activity, but the girls' camp is just a quick swim across that lake.
And guys were swimming across that lake at night.
It's not safe.
But I never did.
So what about you? No, nothing.
Boo.
I saw "Magic Mike" twice.
That's it? Really? All this is because you smell? Yes? Great.
And I totally get it.
Channing Tatum is a fine actor.
Kiss me quick then step away.
Cool.
Wait, don't breathe in.
There will be better kissing after the bath bomb.
Excellent.
Oh, and hey, Thursday night's still good, right? My mom needs to know.
Your mom? For what? For dinner.
You're meeting the parents.
Did we make that plan? Before I left.
It's the perfect time before school gets too crazy.
And I was gonna meet your parents.
Is none of this ringing a bell? No no no.
It's ringing a bell.
My mother's been talking about this for weeks, so are we on? Sure.
Good.
It'll be fun.
And take this with you.
While everyone else was swimming and fornicating, I carved this for you because you like "The Hunger Games" so much.
It's crude, but it'll do some damage.
Thanks.
I'm glad you're back.
Me too.
I'll see you when I'm clean.
Boo: Bye.
Truly: Help! Michelle, help.
Truly? Truly, what are you doing, selling things door to door? It's a long story.
Can I come in, please? Yeah yeah yeah.
It's open.
Did you just see Katniss run by? Oh, with a bow and arrow? Yeah.
Will you grab that, please? - What a nightmare.
- Did you not think it's strange that Katniss ran by? No.
This is a nightmare.
Truly, what's going on here? Well, I went to take all this to the shop.
It's my new fall line.
And you're liking the polka dots this year.
Very much.
And I went to put my key in the door, and it doesn't fit.
Whoa.
That's a recurring dream I have.
That I go up to my place, but it's only sorta kinda my place, all my stuff's there but it's got 80-foot ceilings and weird wallpaper, and I go to put my key in the lock, only it's totally the wrong shape.
Do you want to hear about my story or not? - Yes, go on.
- It's my stupid landlady.
- She locked me out.
- What? Why? No reason except that she hates me.
But she can't do that.
You have a lease.
Yes-sss.
Truly, do you have a lease? No.
So you're paying her month-to-month? Yep.
I mean, when I was paying her.
You haven't been paying her? This is not the time for judging, this is the time for hugs.
- Facts first, hugs later.
- I had a lease, for five full years, and then she sent me the new lease and she had raised the rent so much I got mad and I threw it into the fire.
You were reading it next to a fire? No, I lit a fire and I threw the lease in.
Wow, you really wanted to burn that thing.
Very very much.
I know I don't have a fireplace, so I had to find an Irish pub.
And then I had to buy a pint, 'cause it's rude not to after you use their fireplace to burn your lease and it's sexual by the way.
- What is? - Your dream about the key.
- Blatantly.
- Look, Truly, focus for me here.
Your behind on your rent, you don't have a lease, - this is not good.
- I know.
It's very bad.
I tried to talk to my landlady about it, but she's not answering my phone calls and I can't get an appointment until March.
So you want to leave your stuff here for awhile? Can I? I just need sometime to think and regroup and figure out how I'm going to come up with an extra $1200 a month.
Absolutely.
I have a little room in my armoire.
We'll hang them up nice, and we'll figure this out.
- Thanks.
- This is really cute.
I love the color.
How much is this? $1200 a month? Let me think about it.
All the freshmen look so young! Were we ever that young? Looks like a particularly stupid crop this year too.
It's that deer in the headlights thing.
- It's unattractive.
- Hey, what are you listening to? - Hey don't.
- She got through "Gatsby," and now she's listening to the audio book of "The Scarlet Letter" while she reads "Fahrenheit 451.
" Yeah, "Fahrenheit 451," the book burning thing.
Ray Bradbury was onto something there.
Sing a song for the world today I feel good in a brand new way - What are they? - Newbies.
But not freshmen.
Everybody's staring at them.
Feel lucky like I said I would Wow.
She shook her hair just like in a shampoo commercial.
Smiling in the neighborhood What's with the flowers? Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh They didn't even bring pee-chees.
I feel super good.
( Rapping on door ) Truly? Sorry, I couldn't wait any longer.
You sleep so late.
Well, I'm generally up late.
Wait, you don't have a morning show? - A what? - A morning show.
I used to watch Matt and Katie and Al and Anne, and then Matt and Meredith and Al and Anne, and then Matt and Anne and Al and Natalie, and then I tried Charlie and Gale and Seth and Nora, but when I found George and Robin and Josh and Sam, I felt like I was home.
What can I do for you, Truly? I have a big favor to ask you.
I have a valued customer.
Her name is Jill and every year I give her a special pre-peek at my fall line.
And if there was any way I could bring her by, it would be so great.
Yeah, sure.
Bring her by.
Great.
Come on in, Jill.
Oh, she's here with you now.
Okay.
So, here we are, Jill.
It's a little unusual.
Eclectic as we say what with the unmade bed.
But you are the first to see these, and of course I can tailor anything just for you.
Truly, I am loving the colors here.
The colors are gorgeous.
Will you excuse me just a second.
( Whispering ) She's not really into the hard sell.
( Whispering ) I wasn't hard selling her.
I think the colors are gorgeous.
The colors will speak for themselves.
So the colors do the hard selling.
This is my business.
Please respect it.
Okay.
So, Jill.
I will leave you to browse in peace.
And just let me know if there's anything you need.
I'd love coffee if you have some.
Cream or sugar, Jill? Both, please.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
( Speaking French ) It's the new girl again.
So she's French.
She's speaking French.
Does that make her French? I swear I saw her speaking Japanese to Mr.
Yamimoto earlier today.
She even looked a little Japanese when she was doing it.
Weird.
Very weird.
( Bell ringing ) ( Piano playing ) She changed her clothes.
- Her name's Cozette.
- Interesting.
And her brother's name is Frankie.
Franny and Zoe.
No, Frankie and Cozette.
Keep going, Boo.
He's supposed to be a brilliant violinist.
Ginny saw him playing piano.
He wasn't wearing that tie before.
Or those pants.
( Speaking Spanish ) And she speaks Spanish? And Japanese and French.
And he plays the piano and the violin.
I think I need to sit for awhile and clear my head.
That only happens in the movies.
(Folk music playing) Today's a good day to order the fried chicken.
We change the grease the first of the month.
Oh, but I like the taste of old grease.
It's got wessonality.
- Sorry.
- This'll do.
Hey, take a look at this for me, will you? I'm not gonna say any more about it, just give me your thoughts.
- Well, it's a car.
- It's a human.
- Those aren't headlights? - Those are eyeballs.
- She's cute.
- It's a man.
Is something eating his face? This is happening, yes.
Who is this? It's a potential blind date.
A close friend of mine is trying to set me up with him and she knows me, so he might be great, but I get nervous around new people, you know? - Absolutely.
- I either clam up or I talk too much.
That's a tough balancing act.
But I'm not meeting enough people.
I should probably be going out more, right? You know, taking more chances.
I'm soliciting dating advice from a 16-year-old, aren't I? I'm 17 now.
Oh, well, happy birthday.
Could I ask you for some advice? Uh I Carl wants me to meet his parents.
Yeah, I didn't quite say yes.
- I don't know what to do.
- Well I'm freaking out a little.
Okay okay.
Let's see.
Meeting the parents.
Well, Boo, my first piece of advice would be "don't go.
" - I have to.
- Oh.
Well then, my second piece of advice - would be "don't go.
" - I have to.
Oh, well then, my third, fourth and fifth piece of advice would be I got it, thanks.
But I have to go.
All right, all right.
Well, let me just say this.
The key to getting along with Carl's parents - Is to be myself.
- What are you, high? No.
The trick is to be whoever it is you think they want you to be.
- Oh.
- And to say whatever it is you think they want you to say.
Trust me.
It's the only way.
- So, don't be myself? - Right.
Well, that's good, because I really don't know who I am.
Well, there you go.
Oh, and keep an eye on your watch because I'm telling you, 90 minutes in to the second, evenings like this go south fast.
How so? Well, you could slip and tell an off-color joke.
I did that once.
Or you could get drunk and call your boyfriend's dad a pickle-puss.
I did that once.
Or you could think it's funny to move the dog's mouth around and make him say dirty things.
I did that once.
You're not drinking, so that'll help, but at that 90-minute mark cut if off.
I don't have a watch.
Oh.
It's got a timer.
Use it.
Thanks.
I've gotta get back there.
He's only got one nose, right? I hope.
Hi.
- Pass the string beans.
- We're out of string beans.
We're out of string beans? And now it begins.
I knew we would run out of string beans.
Excuse me, kind sir? It's a Cramer family tradition.
First, we never order enough food - Three orders of string beans.
- Three? ( Whispers ) then order too much.
Man: - Sweetie, why three? Sweetie: - Because they're small.
- I don't want the leftovers.
- They heat up nice.
- Whatever we order, we eat.
- Carl has a guest.
No doggie bags.
If I see one of those tin foil animals, it goes straight in the trash.
Boo, you'll eat more food, right? Uh, yes, Mrs.
Cramer.
Call me Sweetie.
Everyone calls me Sweetie.
You don't have to call her anything if you don't want.
One orange chicken, happy family in a bird's nest.
Find a happy family to eat it, will you? Scallion pancakes.
Do you like pork, honey? Yes.
Oh, 'cause I do not.
Neither do I.
Well, which is it? You like pork or you don't? Well, I used to like it, but just now when I said I did, I was remembering the time that I did Like it, but I don't anymore.
Unless someone else wants some and then I Just order the pork, mom.
This is why the whole world hates us.
Nobody hates us.
Mu shu pork.
- And that'll do us? - That'll do us.
Oh, that'll do us.
And them.
And those people over there, and the waiters in the back and their families.
- And four blocks in Solvang Sweetie: - Just ignore him.
He's having a stroke.
Thank you.
So, Boo.
What do you got going on here? - What is this? - My face? - Are you Jewish? - I could be.
She's not Jewish, mom.
But what is going on there? I'm seeing a lot of Eastern Europe? Maybe Poland, Hungary? Do you like Eastern Europe? Depends on the era.
Hey, did I tell you about the first hiking trip I did in Maine? There was a bunch of us, and we were just getting to the peak of first ridge Carl, I have heard the story of you and the bear and the running down the hill.
I do not need to hear the story of you and the bear and the running down the hill again.
Neither does your little girlfriend.
Now I am here to get to know her.
Not you.
So, Boo, does your family ski? Uh yes.
Really? God, I hate skiers.
I mean, no.
Oh, really? 'Cause I was gonna say I hate them because they get to ski.
I would love to ski.
- I never learned how.
- Oh, well, we ski.
And we love it.
I love it.
Skiing.
Well then maybe you could teach me.
No.
Okay.
- What did you do? - Washed my hands.
- You canceled the string beans.
- I don't want leftovers.
Boo wanted those beans, didn't you, Boo? You know, mom, you probably don't remember but you've seen Boo at a couple of my dance recitals.
She was the girl mopping the floor with the rest of us.
Carl raves about your dancing.
I'm not that good.
She's great.
Who's your favorite ballerina? She loves a bunch of them.
The list is long.
Is your name Boo? So who do you like? Gelsey Kirkland? Yes.
Terrible cocaine problem.
No.
No? She didn't have a terrible cocaine problem? Maybe.
She wrote a book a whole book about cocaine, about snorting cocaine, about quitting cocaine.
Mom, please? Shush.
Now come on, honey, you're a ballerina, surely you have a favorite.
Who's your favorite? ( Beeps ) 90 minutes.
What? Time for me to go to the bathroom.
You set an alarm to remind you to go to the bathroom? You okay? You need to go home? - Let me take you home.
- I'm fine.
I'll be right back.
What kind of a person sets an alarm to remind her to go to the bathroom? Mom, can you back off? You're making her nervous.
Oh please, she showed up nervous.
Well, you're not helping.
Carl, this girl, she's very nice.
Don't do this.
She's like a loaf of unbaked bread.
That's not fair.
This woman has no opinions.
- Stop.
- She skis, she doesn't ski.
She's from Poland, she's not from Poland.
She never said she was from Poland and you don't know her.
But you better get to know her because she's the one I like.
More than like.
I could marry this girl.
Get a good job.
She eats a lot of beans.
What are you talking about, marry this girl? You're in high school.
What the hell is going on in there? I'm not talking to myself, dude.
Any idea what's going on in my house? I have no idea.
Okay, and Sasha's not here, so scram.
Yep.
( Piano playing ) Just a 24-hour turnaround on all alterations, ladies.
You are running dangerously low there, Jill.
Oh, well, you know what to do.
- Do I? - Truly.
Such a charming space.
It's a work in progress, but it's really getting there.
Sue, that blouse is so you, I don't want it on anybody else.
- Truly! - Would you ladies excuse me for just a moment.
Don't I at least get a glass of wine? Wine is for customers.
So, did I know about this? About my fall open house? I meant to give you a flyer.
Here.
On the back is information about a winter hot chocolate party I'm hosting in December.
Bring the kids, 'cause there's caroling.
Truly, this is not your shop.
Lucy, I have an Audrey Hepburn hat that would look sin city-sational with that skirt.
When are you going to talk to your landlord? Mmm, never.
Never? But, Truly, this thing we got going here, it's gotta end soon.
Oh, great, I went from one mean landlord to another? I'm not your landlord.
- Truly.
- Aah.
How's that size working for you, Nancy? - It's too big.
- Too big? Nancy, skinny girl, you are now officially a six.
- No.
- Yes.
- No.
- Yes.
- No! - Yes! Nancy, you're a six! Accept it! I will get you that six tomorrow, Nancy.
- She's a six.
- Truly.
I mean it here.
Okay.
Okay, I know I need to talk to her, but she's just so intimidating, and I hate that scary office of hers.
And if I have to look at that stupid picture of her playing golf with Condoleezza Rice one more time Well, how about you meet her on neutral territory? Like the Oyster Bar? - Maybe.
- And I'll go with you for moral support.
How about that? - Really? - Anything to get my place back.
I'm not sure if this is appropriate, but how much for this? I'm sorry, but you're right.
That's not appropriate.
I'll take 50 bucks.
What's the matter with you, Boo? You seem pensive.
Carl is going to ask me to marry him.
What? How do you know? I heard him talking to his mom when I met the parents last night.
Holy crap.
This is big.
He's going to have to wear lifts at the wedding or else the kiss will look stupid.
So you've had sex with him? No, Sasha! If I had, I'd have told you.
Why in the world would you tell me? Are you forgetting the pact? The eighth grade pact? We all vowed to call each other after it happened.
You vowed to call us while it happened.
That sounds like me.
Boo, whatever that pact was, it was two and a half years ago.
We were babies.
I was still taller than Melanie.
I thought it was nice, made it less of a scary thing.
It was nice, Boo.
We'll tell each other, I promise.
What is going on here? Boo: What is she carrying? I think it's a picnic basket.
She rode up to school in a scooter.
Where did she get the picnic basket? And she's wearing a suede dress.
She was not wearing that this morning.
Or this afternoon when she changed.
It's her third outfit.
( Sighs ) Beautiful spread.
That's wine.
I mean, is that legal? Isn't she 16? Sasha: Mitch Alvarado.
Melanie: He gave her a peck on the cheek.
How in the world does she already know Mitch Alvarado? I've been going to school with Mitch Alvarado since kindergarten.
I still haven't met Mitch Alvarado.
This is so urban and sophisticated.
I'm gonna puke.
Ginny, we need information.
Go grill the brother.
- Me? Why me? - Because we voted and you won.
- You didn't vote.
- Who wants Ginny to go talk to the brother? ( Sighs ) All right.
Hello, Virginia.
How did you know my name? How did you know mine? How do you know I know your name? I didn't.
I do now.
So, you and your sister.
New kids in town, huh? 'Cause we notice when new people move in.
We're perpetually bored, so - This is going in the garbage.
- What is? This.
I can't quite see but you would if I let it survive.
Is that bad, seeing a picture? Isn't that the point? So where are you guys from? We're nomads.
We're just in from Bavaria.
Bavaria, really? That's where mad Ludwig's castle is.
I've always wanted to see that.
The way he saw it, or the way it is? Uh you'll see soon.
That's me.
That's us.
It's warmer today than I thought.
Why doesn't my paella look like the paella in the book? You should have just kept it simple.
It's just rice, onions, garlic, sausage, shrimp, chicken, muscles, and saffron stock.
What's simpler than that? She's supposed to be on bed rest.
I'm on stool rest.
Just as good.
Plus we have a special guest.
I'm not a special guest.
Are you kidding? This is historic.
Boo has never brought a boy home except when she was six and she brought home little Maxie Rucker.
Without informing Maxie's parents.
And they arrested Rusty and me because we were responsible for Boo's actions or something.
It was hysterical.
You kidnapped a kid? Hey, how about we not bring up anecdotes from my childhood tonight, okay? The paella in the book is brown.
Why is mine green? Please, let's just order pizzas.
No, that's surrendering.
Never surrender! Boys: Never surrender! Never surrender! ( Yelling ) I didn't know Beez would have his two boobs with him tonight.
We had no choice.
When it's my turn to watch the Winkleburn kids, then it's my turn to watch the Winkleburn kids.
Do you boil it inside the pouch, or do you open the pouch and dump it in? I think you keep it in the pouch and drop it in the boiling water.
Thank you, young man.
Rusty, you're watching TV.
- I'm not watching TV.
- Then turn it off.
- The kids will start crying.
- You'll start crying.
Mom, let's get this dinner moving.
We are losing momentum.
Oh, I'll put barbeque sauce on it.
That'll make it brown.
- Yes.
- I love barbeque sauce.
You know, if there's not gonna be enough, I can just eat down at the firehouse.
Chicken parm night.
It's a good night.
Dad, we are having dinner with Carl.
Well, Carl can come with me.
I like Carl.
It's barbequed paella I'm not too crazy about.
( Crashing ) Did did anyone else hear that? That was just Boo's brother.
And the Winkleburns.
They get into it.
They sure do.
There.
Brown paella.
Dish that up.
I'm gonna pee.
( Country music playing ) I live out west where life is best and the creatures still run wild where stetson hats and shotgun chaps and spurs are still in style ( Mouths ) Don't earn much pay but that's okay 'cause I'm happy with who I am I'm a rootin' tootin', six-gun shootin' yodeling cowhand.
( Yodeling ) Oh.
( Music stops ) So exciting.
You never know when it's gonna end.
Whoo.
You know, I can't believe you just whipped up this dessert, Carl.
What's it called again? Bananas foster.
It's just bananas, brown sugar, butter, and vanilla ice cream.
It's nothing.
Nothing! I've got Rachel Ray making me dessert here, and he says it's nothing.
Rachel Ray is a girl.
Proof.
I want proof! ( Laughs ) Hey, mom, where's dad? He went to the bathroom 20 minutes ago.
I should probably check on him.
Sometimes he's so tired he pulls an Elvis and falls asleep on the throne.
Let's hope he's not pulling a full Elvis.
Let's help your mother clean up.
You're a saint.
( Scoffs ) The banana foster was really good.
I hope so.
I didn't use quite as much butter as I'd like.
I thought it would be a good idea to cut off the part of the cube that had teeth marks on it.
Yeah.
I can show your mom how to make it.
Your dad was really into it.
Even Beez seemed to Okay, I'll marry you.
- What? - Let's do it.
Let's get married.
The sooner the better.
Married? I just need to finish high school first, okay? And you should too.
Then we'll get married and go to college.
People have done that.
There's special housing for married couples.
I think I saw that somewhere in a movie once.
"Love Story.
" "Porky's.
" - Boo.
- And who knows, after I lose those last few pounds and get a little more training, I can make it into a good dance company, maybe New York.
We'll live in New York.
That's where you'll go to school.
There are some great schools in New York.
Or we could just be engaged and live in New York while I'm dancing and you're going to college, but that puts me in the why-buy-the-cow when-you-can-get- the-milk-for-free category, so we're just going to have to bit the bullet and get married.
Whoa, whoa, Boo I know I'm just a loaf of unbaked bread, Carl, but I make a good wife.
And a good mother to your children, if you want children.
I'm torn.
If I give birth to the Winkleburn kids, I am sending them back.
Boo, let me say something.
Okay, but hurry because we have a lot of planning to do.
Where is this coming from? I heard you talking to Sweetie.
- Oh, Boo - Saying that I'm the girl you're going to marry.
I was touched.
And nauseous, but mostly touched.
Boo, listen.
What I said that night about us getting married? I didn't mean it literally.
You didn't? My mother, I love her, but she yaps and doesn't listen.
The only way I can get her to hear me is to be ridiculously dramatic.
So you don't want to get married.
Well, it's a little early don't you think? Well, yeah.
Not that I don't think you're great marriage material, but I kind of don't want to miss my last year of summer camp.
It comes with hot dog privileges.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
So, I'm not just a loaf of unbaked bread? Nah, you're fully baked.
And by the way, you're dad's not on the throne.
He snuck down to the firehouse for some chicken parm.
He confided in me man-to-man.
It was cool.
He's even bringing me one back.
( Foot tapping ) Turn off your motor there, Speedy.
My leg always jiggles when I'm nervous.
Just take a deep breath.
My niece isn't even allowed to sit on my lap anymore.
Not since I catapulted her into a wall.
God, that's her.
Hello, Truly.
Hello, Milly.
This is my friend, Michelle.
- Nice to meet you.
- Oh.
If I had known you were bringing a friend, - I'd have brought Leonard.
- Who's Leonard? Leonard's a good friend of mine.
He has a sailboat, and sometimes we play squash.
He's going to be sorry he missed this.
So, shall we pretend we're really here for a pleasant lunch or save ourselves the calories? We need to talk about the lease.
Sign it and we're good to go.
You raised the rent 40%.
It reflects current market comps.
If I knew what that meant, I'm sure I would disagree with it.
Milly, I think what Truly is wondering is does the rent increase need to be that steep? Well, Michelle, normally I would defer to Leonard on this, but I'll have you know that I'm doing Truly a big favor.
I've got a national lube and tune company begging me for that space, and they pay more.
I can't say which company it is, but you have both gotten lubed there.
Well, what about the improvements I've made to the space? A glittery toilet seat with Barry Gibbs' face on it does not constitute an improvement.
But maybe we could find a middle ground here.
Huh? Something that we could all live with? Well, if by "we" you mean you, me, Truly and Leonard, well, of course I'd have to consult with Leonard on this, but no, there is no middle ground.
It's the market rate or nothing.
Milly, I have invested all of my money into Sparkles.
I can't believe you're willing to destroy it like this.
Your money? Really? - Don't start.
- You're gonna pretend it's not mom's money? So I borrowed money from mom.
- So what? - Mom? So she dipped into her 401K to buy you a bunch of dresses.
She never did anything for me.
Oh, you are so her favorite, with your fancy holiday parties and your perfect little daughter.
She's not perfect anymore.
Not since you gave her that concussion.
Hold on a second.
Quick question - are you two sisters? - Yes.
Unfortunately.
Why didn't you mention this before? It wasn't relevant.
You're sisters.
It's relevant.
It's because she hates me.
That's why she didn't mention it.
She hates me.
Okay, Truly, go get a soda or something.
Let me talk to Milly for a second.
Really, go.
So sisters.
It happens.
But it's only happened once to you, Milly.
You have one sweet, special person you can call sister.
Is it really worth a few lousy bucks to ruin that? We have two other sisters.
One's okay.
The other one's an actress.
But how can Truly not be your favorite? She's got so much spunk.
Spunk is what got my Abba CD's turned into a super-cute prom dress.
But Milly, you're a businesswoman.
Your family relationship should not affect your business.
Should it? Well, there's more.
She She what? Look, Truly did something awful to me once.
But concussions heal, don't they? Oh, who cares about that? She stole my boyfriend.
Oh, ouch.
And it was a man I cared for very deeply.
And she knew that.
But don't you think it's time to remove all that from the equation and just let Truly stay in her shop that she loves so much? Forget the past and move on? But Truly knew that it was leading to something more serious.
And she went ahead and seduced Hubbell away from me anyway.
Am I just supposed to forget about all that? I'm sorry, did you just say Hubbell? Do you know who I am? You're Truly's friend.
I'm Michelle Simms.
I married Hubbell.
You're the Madame? Showgirl.
So Do we have a deal? Truly, mi amigo, we have got ourselves a game plan.
I get my shop back? No, you keep using my place until we figure something else out.
That's our game plan? That's all we got.
And I'm giving your niece two years of free tap class once she gets that protective helmet off.
That woman is rough.
He's a martial arts expert and a master mechanic.
And she speaks French, and Spanish, and Japanese, and Latin, and Farsi and Urdu.
- Come on.
- I heard it from a good source.
Fluent Urdu.
They're definitely the most popular kids in school.
In just two days? How? Networking.
Multi-lingual networking.
Hey, watch it, rookie.
All the girls are in love with him.
- Really? - Not me.
And all the guys are in love with her.
Some of the girls too.
Not me.
Okay.
Stop.
Enough about her.
- I agree.
- Let's get inside.
We're gonna be late.
( Music playing ) Cuckoo, cuckoo what do you do? in April, I open my bill in May, I sing night and day in June, I change my tune in July, far far I fly Isn't she incredible? Her name's Cozette.
She's really gonna raise the bar for us.
( Music continues ) Cuckoo, cuckoo cuckoo, cuckoo cuckoo, cuckoo what do you do? in April, I open my bill in May, I sing night and day in June, I change my tune in July, far far I fly in August, away I must cuckoo, cuckoo cuckoo, cuckoo ( Applause ) Trippy song, huh? All right, everyone.
Let's get the bar centered and let's get started.
Quick announcement, everyone.
We're starting 15 minutes later tomorrow.
You can still come, stretch, relax ( Crickets chirping ) ( Clicking ) ( Beeps ) ( Door opens ) ( Sighs ) We've got to stop meeting like this.
Or take it to the next step.
Marry, have a couple of kids.
Who bears the children? How about we alternate? That'll work.
I thought you had a date tonight.
I ended it early.
Marion was definitely not my type.
You went out with a chick? It was a guy.
Now for some reason I feel weirdly compelled to defend him.
John Wayne's real name was Marion.
And he changed it to John.
True.
Poor Marion.
So, let me guess you're here rehearsing the turn, twist, slide, kick you saw Baryshnikov do in "White Nights" and you're not leaving till you nail it? I was meeting Roman.
- Sasha - Relax.
- I just canceled it.
- But why here? Why not your house? My house is a disaster zone.
There's no way I'm talking him there.
So it's here? In a place that smells like sweaty tights, because that'll really get you in the mood.
It's nothing that calls for mood.
We just want a place to talk and hang and listen to music.
What about school? I'm with my friends at school.
Oh, Sasha, you don't know the first thing about dating.
As soon as you meet a boy, you dump your friends.
That's what boys are for.
I did not know that.
So you don't need the talk.
The talk? The talk.
The talk.
No But you can give it anyway.
I'd love to hear your version.
Well, it's a good one.
You'll never use a public toilet seat again.
( Footsteps approach ) I told him to abort.
Must have been too late.
It's not Roman.
Are you kidding? I've been trying to get a hold of you all day.
- What's up? - You don't answer texts, phone calls, e-mails.
I've been driving around.
I finally spotted your car out front.
All those "Rockford Files" finally paid off.
Enough mouth, Sasha.
You are tough, kid.
Fine.
I just thought you'd want to know he's leaving.
- Who? - Your dad.
- Again? - No, not again.
He's really leaving.
It's over with us.
Your father has a special someone and he's moving in with him.
I did not think this was gonna be my life.
Anyway, he's moving out now.
- I'm going next week.
- Going? Where are you going? Back to L.
A.
I miss it.
I miss Encino.
Sue me.
Well, what about me? You have a choice, Sophie.
You could either go with your dad to San Jose or you can come with me.
Just let me know quick so I can make plans.
What about the house? Oh, I'm dumping that house.
I hate that house.
So that's my choice? To move away? - Yes.
- No! - What? - I'm not going.
- I'm staying here.
- That is not an option.
My friends are here.
My school is here.
My ballet is here.
If I'm going to get into Joffrey, I can't disrupt my training now.
Forget it.
You're 16, Sasha.
I'm not leaving.
I'm not leaving.