Cristela (2014) s01e12 Episode Script
Hypertension
Ay! Ama, what are you doing? I am waiting for my opponent.
Death? No.
We have a mouse, and I cannot rest knowing he is in this kitchen mocking me.
We don't have mice.
Come on go to bed and get some sleep.
I'll sleep when I am dead.
And even then, probably not so well.
Why aren't you in bed? I just got home.
My case law study-group leader talked so slow.
"So, in Sullivan" Come on, buddy! The last bus leaves at midnight.
Really, Cristela? Pan dulce at 1:00 in the morning? I don't want to look for food because apparently, we have a mouse.
Sorry, I'm just worried about Henry.
He's got his presidential fitness test coming up.
He is not fit to be president.
Have you seen his room? No, Ama, it's a test to see how fit you are.
I don't mean to brag, but I used to do pretty well.
Except for that spring in eighth grade when I became a woman.
You really were a great athlete.
Why don't you help Henry? You know, train him.
Mm.
That's perfect, 'cause I had a free hour next month, and I didn't know what to do with it.
Uh I can't find my bus pass.
Can't you just buy another one? Maddie, if I could afford to buy another one, - I wouldn't be riding the bus.
- Oh.
Sounds expensive.
Oh! You know what? You should take a cab.
Oh, hey, daddy.
How'd it go this morning? Terrible.
Nothing worse than sitting on a panel investigating executive overcompensation.
My God.
I realized I don't have half of the stuff these other guys have.
Makes you just want to go to one of your houses and just cry, right, sir? Yeah, but but which one? You know, some of these guys actually have personal medical staffs on hand.
Now, I-I looked into it and we can't afford it, but there would be a small stipend for anybody who knows CPR.
- Oh, I know op I could do it, sir.
- I know CPR.
You do? Oh, yeah, yeah.
I was studying to be a paramedic before I realized I'd rather chase the ambulance.
Oh.
I like that.
Think I'll take credit for it.
Oh.
I remember when you said it.
Do you know CPR? No.
No, not at all.
But I know an opportunity when it knocks, and I can learn CPR.
But I already know it.
Yeah, Josh, I mean, Cristela should do it.
Well, she should've spoken faster.
Oh, man, this is gonna look great on my résumé.
You know, you may be the only person between someone's life and death.
I can only hope.
Imagine how great the word "hero" would look on my résumé.
Okay, let's start with touching your toes.
Here we go.
Not like that.
Like this.
I think you need to show me some more.
I don't think I get it yet.
Unh-unh-unh.
Come on, get up.
You're the one that's supposed to be exercising for your presidential fitness test.
No, I'm not.
I'm only here 'cause mom wants you to get in shape.
What? Didn't she tell you? No.
And I don't think you were supposed to, either.
Well, good workout.
I'm just gonna cool down.
You are so busted! Aah! It's okay.
We're married.
What are you talking about? Using Henry as a setup to get me to exercise? Oh, that is low.
Using your children and the president! Okay, I'd kind of like to leave now.
Then leave! I'm also kind of naked.
Then don't leave.
Cris, I've been worried about you.
You're doing too much, and exercise is a great stress-reliever.
I exercise all the time.
Really? What exercise did you do this week? Well, I couldn't because I was finishing the Hobson case.
Then what did you do last week? I had midterms.
Izzy was sick.
And the week before? Oh, my God, are we gonna do this 50 more times? Okay, there's sweats on the floor right there.
You know high blood pressure runs in our family.
I want you to exercise because I don't want to lose you! Oh, that is not fair.
Do not be all loving and caring while I'm trying to be mad at you.
You come here and hug me right now! No, I don't want to.
- Come here! - Oh.
Okay.
Okay, this is really weird.
Shut up.
You're ruining the moment.
Promise me you'll take better care of yourself.
You're my only sister, and you can't leave me alone with Ama.
Fine.
I'll exercise.
I have a sports bra I've been meaning to use for something.
Cris, have you moved from your desk all day? I mean Have you even taken a bathroom break? I don't have to.
I'm working out again, so my body's performing at peak efficiency.
Well, if you haven't exercised in a while, you might want to take it easy.
Uh, thanks, but I got this, coach.
Now I'm off to pick up my niece.
- Mm.
- Probably walk.
It's only 18 blocks.
Feels good to be active again.
Mm.
Oh.
Let me tell you.
Body's really thanking me for it.
Before you dash out of here, I need you to sign this.
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Uh-huh.
Very good.
One more.
Uh-huh.
Excellent, and oh, that's too bad.
You got it.
Ah.
Very good, if you could just initial this one right here, that would be great.
No problem.
- You got it.
- Ah.
Ah, ah, ahh.
- Yeah, there we go.
- What is this? I don't know.
Scrap paper? So, how's the CPR training coming? - Gross.
- Huh.
Yeah, did you know that you're supposed to check a victim's throat for mucus? I got to tell you, if somebody's got a throat full of mucus on my watch, - they're gonna die.
- Hmm.
You know, I could help you.
Oh? Yeah, I know all about mouth-to-mouth and, like, chest compressions.
Really? Yeah, yeah.
A lifeguard at the beach showed me.
He wasn't a regular lifeguard.
He was undercover.
You know what? Come with me.
Come on.
Made it.
Okay.
So, pretend that we're at the beach.
And I've collapsed on my conference table.
Um Don't worry, I'll tell you what to do.
Now, a real drowning victim won't, by the way.
So, take both of your hands and push down on my chest.
I'm sorry.
What?! Just Just push down on my chest.
No! No! No.
No.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
We'll start with mouth-to-mouth.
Just come over here and, um, put your hand behind my neck.
Like Like like this? Good.
Now, put your mouth on my mouth.
What are you talking about? You can't do mouth-to-mouth without putting mouth on mouth.
I sound like Dr.
Seuss.
Yeah, so, um, uh is there is there any part of CPR that isn't, you know Oh, my God, just quit being a baby.
Come here.
Um I think I got it.
I'm just gonna just gonna finish up online.
Okay.
Really nice meeting you.
Mm-hmm.
Where's Izzy? Oh, she doesn't really need a ride, but since you've been exercising, I thought you'd want to get your blood pressure checked.
You could've just told me.
You know I love free stuff.
Good.
This'll help us see how much more work you still need to do.
Wait.
So, you lied to me about Henry to get me to exercise, and then you lied to me about Izzy to get me here? God, do you ever tell the truth? Of course.
But if someone asks you, tell them you're an employee.
Hmm.
What? What is it? I told her she has to exercise.
Nothing to be too concerned about.
The blood pressure's just a little high.
How bad is it? Yours is fine.
Hers pretty up there.
What? Daniela.
I am so sorry to hear that.
How serious is it? No, it's just something she needs to keep an eye on.
Good.
Then I can do this.
Well, I guess it's time to hang up the ol' sports bra.
Uh, no.
This doesn't change anything.
You still need to work out.
Why? You heard her.
I just don't want you to end up alone.
Have you seen our house? When am I alone? Oh, I would love to be alone.
You know what I mean.
How are you gonna find a man looking like that? And how exactly do I look? I just think it's important to look feminine.
Oh, so, you want me to look more like you.
Yeah.
Wouldn't that be great? Yeah.
We could totally be twins, read each other's minds.
Guess what I'm thinking about you right now.
Hey.
No fighting.
No stress.
Daniela Has high blood pressure.
Okay, come on.
They're ready for you.
I'm okay.
Are you sure, honey? Come here.
Yes.
My blood pressure's just a little bit high.
It's nothing to worry about.
This is crazy.
Daniela is perfectly healthy.
Look at her.
She's beautiful.
Yeah, that's what they go by, Ama looks.
People go around and say, "hey, you're ugly.
You must be sick.
" And you're missing the point.
She didn't want me healthier.
She just wants me to look different.
Why? I think you look fine.
But? No buts.
You look good.
Yeah, well, you look good, too! How does that feel?! Hey, is that a mouse? Ooh! That is my mouse.
I'm just trying to help you.
Let me tell you something I like the way I look.
I want other people to like the way you look, like men.
Whoa! Plenty of men like the way I look.
I don't mean to brag, but I really bring it with construction workers.
I mean a man that you can marry and have kids with and have this for yourself.
I don't want this.
Okay.
Right.
I don't.
I want a career.
I have a career.
I want a career that's challenging.
I-I want to help people.
I help people.
Plea you help people get cable.
Ha! Come on.
I'm sorry.
I'm aiming for something a little bit higher than that.
Wow.
I never realized you thought so little of my life.
That mouse is bigger than I thought.
I got this.
Oh, hey, uh, Maddie, did you, um, did you handle this case? Mm, let me see.
Mm.
Whoops! Ooh! Yep.
There's the mistake, sweetie.
Mm.
Sorry, what what did what did you call me? You're right.
You know, it didn't sound right when it came out.
What I should call you is, uh, my boo, hmm? Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
Maddie, Maddie, we should we should probably talk.
Um, I don't know what you thought yesterday was, but but for me, it was just strictly professional.
If my lips were moist, that's 'cause I use chapstick to keep them hydrated.
Oh.
Well, I I wish we had this talk before I told daddy.
What's that, now? He's not gonna like it if he thinks you just, you know Led me on.
No, that's that's that's not what happened! You don't say that! You got to tell you got to tell him it was a misunderstanding! Wow! Someone thinks a whole bunch of themselves.
What are you what are what are you talking about? I'm not into you.
I was just messing with you, you big jerk.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, you were just messing with me.
Wow, that is really cruel.
Yeah, well, what you did was really thoughtless.
Cristela deserved that CPR money.
She's the one who needs it.
I mean, she can't afford the bus, okay? She has to take a cab.
You know what? This this this looks good for me, okay? And we are all competing.
Yeah, but we've also all become friends.
You know, I could have daddy give me every opportunity in this office, but I don't because I like you two.
Okay, you're right.
I wasn't I wasn't thinking.
So, um, uh, just all the stuff that happened in the conference room, that was, what that was, like, just to make me uncomfortable, or Yeah.
You should've seen your face.
Well, you'll see it.
I mean, I have it all on surveillance camera.
What you doing? Just going over some orders.
Man, lumber's expensive.
Even though it does grow on trees.
Do you like our life? Honey, is this gonna be one of those talks? I really got to get these invoices done.
No, no.
We can do it anytime.
Okay.
It's just that we have a great house, great kids, nice jobs.
Mm-hmm.
Who wouldn't want that, right? You know who? Cristela.
At least that's what she says, but I don't believe her.
No.
No, you can't.
She says a career is more important and that that's what matters.
As if.
Okay, honey.
This might sound weird to you, but sometimes, when people say what they want, they really mean it.
But what she wants is Crazy.
Yeah, to you.
And me.
And, you know, people.
But I believe it's what she wants.
And we should support her.
When did you get so smart? Hey, I've always been smart.
I'm just quiet.
Are you trying to make fun or make up? 'Cause either way, I'll take it.
I'm trying to make up.
So, you're still studying? I'm looking up ways to relieve hypertension.
I want you to be healthy.
That's very nice.
Besides, I don't want to end up stuck with your kids.
It's not a shot at your life.
They're just messy.
That's okay.
Sometimes, I don't want them, either.
You know, I hope you know That I think you have a great life.
It's the one you wanted since we were little.
But you never said you wanted it.
I'm sorry.
I'm gonna try and accept that your goals really are different than mine, and that's still okay.
Okay? They're great.
Look I made one comment about your life, and it hurt you, and I'm so sorry.
But how do you think it makes me feel when you and Ama you you criticize my life every day.
But we just want you to make it better because it seems so sad.
You don't even know you're doing it anymore, do you? Oh, please.
Don't start again.
Sir, I've been thinking, and as much as I appreciate the opportunity, I feel like Cristela should be the one to get the stipend for CPR.
Mm.
So, then, that'll give you more time to make out here in the conference room.
What's that, now? So, um, tell me, where exactly did it happen? Was it around here? Oh, no, no.
It it didn't happen there.
It ha no! Nothing uh, nothing happened.
It didn't happen.
Didn't happen.
I don't know what you think is acceptable behavior in a law office, but I'm pretty sure it isn't carrying on with the boss' daughter.
Death? No.
We have a mouse, and I cannot rest knowing he is in this kitchen mocking me.
We don't have mice.
Come on go to bed and get some sleep.
I'll sleep when I am dead.
And even then, probably not so well.
Why aren't you in bed? I just got home.
My case law study-group leader talked so slow.
"So, in Sullivan" Come on, buddy! The last bus leaves at midnight.
Really, Cristela? Pan dulce at 1:00 in the morning? I don't want to look for food because apparently, we have a mouse.
Sorry, I'm just worried about Henry.
He's got his presidential fitness test coming up.
He is not fit to be president.
Have you seen his room? No, Ama, it's a test to see how fit you are.
I don't mean to brag, but I used to do pretty well.
Except for that spring in eighth grade when I became a woman.
You really were a great athlete.
Why don't you help Henry? You know, train him.
Mm.
That's perfect, 'cause I had a free hour next month, and I didn't know what to do with it.
Uh I can't find my bus pass.
Can't you just buy another one? Maddie, if I could afford to buy another one, - I wouldn't be riding the bus.
- Oh.
Sounds expensive.
Oh! You know what? You should take a cab.
Oh, hey, daddy.
How'd it go this morning? Terrible.
Nothing worse than sitting on a panel investigating executive overcompensation.
My God.
I realized I don't have half of the stuff these other guys have.
Makes you just want to go to one of your houses and just cry, right, sir? Yeah, but but which one? You know, some of these guys actually have personal medical staffs on hand.
Now, I-I looked into it and we can't afford it, but there would be a small stipend for anybody who knows CPR.
- Oh, I know op I could do it, sir.
- I know CPR.
You do? Oh, yeah, yeah.
I was studying to be a paramedic before I realized I'd rather chase the ambulance.
Oh.
I like that.
Think I'll take credit for it.
Oh.
I remember when you said it.
Do you know CPR? No.
No, not at all.
But I know an opportunity when it knocks, and I can learn CPR.
But I already know it.
Yeah, Josh, I mean, Cristela should do it.
Well, she should've spoken faster.
Oh, man, this is gonna look great on my résumé.
You know, you may be the only person between someone's life and death.
I can only hope.
Imagine how great the word "hero" would look on my résumé.
Okay, let's start with touching your toes.
Here we go.
Not like that.
Like this.
I think you need to show me some more.
I don't think I get it yet.
Unh-unh-unh.
Come on, get up.
You're the one that's supposed to be exercising for your presidential fitness test.
No, I'm not.
I'm only here 'cause mom wants you to get in shape.
What? Didn't she tell you? No.
And I don't think you were supposed to, either.
Well, good workout.
I'm just gonna cool down.
You are so busted! Aah! It's okay.
We're married.
What are you talking about? Using Henry as a setup to get me to exercise? Oh, that is low.
Using your children and the president! Okay, I'd kind of like to leave now.
Then leave! I'm also kind of naked.
Then don't leave.
Cris, I've been worried about you.
You're doing too much, and exercise is a great stress-reliever.
I exercise all the time.
Really? What exercise did you do this week? Well, I couldn't because I was finishing the Hobson case.
Then what did you do last week? I had midterms.
Izzy was sick.
And the week before? Oh, my God, are we gonna do this 50 more times? Okay, there's sweats on the floor right there.
You know high blood pressure runs in our family.
I want you to exercise because I don't want to lose you! Oh, that is not fair.
Do not be all loving and caring while I'm trying to be mad at you.
You come here and hug me right now! No, I don't want to.
- Come here! - Oh.
Okay.
Okay, this is really weird.
Shut up.
You're ruining the moment.
Promise me you'll take better care of yourself.
You're my only sister, and you can't leave me alone with Ama.
Fine.
I'll exercise.
I have a sports bra I've been meaning to use for something.
Cris, have you moved from your desk all day? I mean Have you even taken a bathroom break? I don't have to.
I'm working out again, so my body's performing at peak efficiency.
Well, if you haven't exercised in a while, you might want to take it easy.
Uh, thanks, but I got this, coach.
Now I'm off to pick up my niece.
- Mm.
- Probably walk.
It's only 18 blocks.
Feels good to be active again.
Mm.
Oh.
Let me tell you.
Body's really thanking me for it.
Before you dash out of here, I need you to sign this.
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Uh-huh.
Very good.
One more.
Uh-huh.
Excellent, and oh, that's too bad.
You got it.
Ah.
Very good, if you could just initial this one right here, that would be great.
No problem.
- You got it.
- Ah.
Ah, ah, ahh.
- Yeah, there we go.
- What is this? I don't know.
Scrap paper? So, how's the CPR training coming? - Gross.
- Huh.
Yeah, did you know that you're supposed to check a victim's throat for mucus? I got to tell you, if somebody's got a throat full of mucus on my watch, - they're gonna die.
- Hmm.
You know, I could help you.
Oh? Yeah, I know all about mouth-to-mouth and, like, chest compressions.
Really? Yeah, yeah.
A lifeguard at the beach showed me.
He wasn't a regular lifeguard.
He was undercover.
You know what? Come with me.
Come on.
Made it.
Okay.
So, pretend that we're at the beach.
And I've collapsed on my conference table.
Um Don't worry, I'll tell you what to do.
Now, a real drowning victim won't, by the way.
So, take both of your hands and push down on my chest.
I'm sorry.
What?! Just Just push down on my chest.
No! No! No.
No.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
We'll start with mouth-to-mouth.
Just come over here and, um, put your hand behind my neck.
Like Like like this? Good.
Now, put your mouth on my mouth.
What are you talking about? You can't do mouth-to-mouth without putting mouth on mouth.
I sound like Dr.
Seuss.
Yeah, so, um, uh is there is there any part of CPR that isn't, you know Oh, my God, just quit being a baby.
Come here.
Um I think I got it.
I'm just gonna just gonna finish up online.
Okay.
Really nice meeting you.
Mm-hmm.
Where's Izzy? Oh, she doesn't really need a ride, but since you've been exercising, I thought you'd want to get your blood pressure checked.
You could've just told me.
You know I love free stuff.
Good.
This'll help us see how much more work you still need to do.
Wait.
So, you lied to me about Henry to get me to exercise, and then you lied to me about Izzy to get me here? God, do you ever tell the truth? Of course.
But if someone asks you, tell them you're an employee.
Hmm.
What? What is it? I told her she has to exercise.
Nothing to be too concerned about.
The blood pressure's just a little high.
How bad is it? Yours is fine.
Hers pretty up there.
What? Daniela.
I am so sorry to hear that.
How serious is it? No, it's just something she needs to keep an eye on.
Good.
Then I can do this.
Well, I guess it's time to hang up the ol' sports bra.
Uh, no.
This doesn't change anything.
You still need to work out.
Why? You heard her.
I just don't want you to end up alone.
Have you seen our house? When am I alone? Oh, I would love to be alone.
You know what I mean.
How are you gonna find a man looking like that? And how exactly do I look? I just think it's important to look feminine.
Oh, so, you want me to look more like you.
Yeah.
Wouldn't that be great? Yeah.
We could totally be twins, read each other's minds.
Guess what I'm thinking about you right now.
Hey.
No fighting.
No stress.
Daniela Has high blood pressure.
Okay, come on.
They're ready for you.
I'm okay.
Are you sure, honey? Come here.
Yes.
My blood pressure's just a little bit high.
It's nothing to worry about.
This is crazy.
Daniela is perfectly healthy.
Look at her.
She's beautiful.
Yeah, that's what they go by, Ama looks.
People go around and say, "hey, you're ugly.
You must be sick.
" And you're missing the point.
She didn't want me healthier.
She just wants me to look different.
Why? I think you look fine.
But? No buts.
You look good.
Yeah, well, you look good, too! How does that feel?! Hey, is that a mouse? Ooh! That is my mouse.
I'm just trying to help you.
Let me tell you something I like the way I look.
I want other people to like the way you look, like men.
Whoa! Plenty of men like the way I look.
I don't mean to brag, but I really bring it with construction workers.
I mean a man that you can marry and have kids with and have this for yourself.
I don't want this.
Okay.
Right.
I don't.
I want a career.
I have a career.
I want a career that's challenging.
I-I want to help people.
I help people.
Plea you help people get cable.
Ha! Come on.
I'm sorry.
I'm aiming for something a little bit higher than that.
Wow.
I never realized you thought so little of my life.
That mouse is bigger than I thought.
I got this.
Oh, hey, uh, Maddie, did you, um, did you handle this case? Mm, let me see.
Mm.
Whoops! Ooh! Yep.
There's the mistake, sweetie.
Mm.
Sorry, what what did what did you call me? You're right.
You know, it didn't sound right when it came out.
What I should call you is, uh, my boo, hmm? Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
Maddie, Maddie, we should we should probably talk.
Um, I don't know what you thought yesterday was, but but for me, it was just strictly professional.
If my lips were moist, that's 'cause I use chapstick to keep them hydrated.
Oh.
Well, I I wish we had this talk before I told daddy.
What's that, now? He's not gonna like it if he thinks you just, you know Led me on.
No, that's that's that's not what happened! You don't say that! You got to tell you got to tell him it was a misunderstanding! Wow! Someone thinks a whole bunch of themselves.
What are you what are what are you talking about? I'm not into you.
I was just messing with you, you big jerk.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, you were just messing with me.
Wow, that is really cruel.
Yeah, well, what you did was really thoughtless.
Cristela deserved that CPR money.
She's the one who needs it.
I mean, she can't afford the bus, okay? She has to take a cab.
You know what? This this this looks good for me, okay? And we are all competing.
Yeah, but we've also all become friends.
You know, I could have daddy give me every opportunity in this office, but I don't because I like you two.
Okay, you're right.
I wasn't I wasn't thinking.
So, um, uh, just all the stuff that happened in the conference room, that was, what that was, like, just to make me uncomfortable, or Yeah.
You should've seen your face.
Well, you'll see it.
I mean, I have it all on surveillance camera.
What you doing? Just going over some orders.
Man, lumber's expensive.
Even though it does grow on trees.
Do you like our life? Honey, is this gonna be one of those talks? I really got to get these invoices done.
No, no.
We can do it anytime.
Okay.
It's just that we have a great house, great kids, nice jobs.
Mm-hmm.
Who wouldn't want that, right? You know who? Cristela.
At least that's what she says, but I don't believe her.
No.
No, you can't.
She says a career is more important and that that's what matters.
As if.
Okay, honey.
This might sound weird to you, but sometimes, when people say what they want, they really mean it.
But what she wants is Crazy.
Yeah, to you.
And me.
And, you know, people.
But I believe it's what she wants.
And we should support her.
When did you get so smart? Hey, I've always been smart.
I'm just quiet.
Are you trying to make fun or make up? 'Cause either way, I'll take it.
I'm trying to make up.
So, you're still studying? I'm looking up ways to relieve hypertension.
I want you to be healthy.
That's very nice.
Besides, I don't want to end up stuck with your kids.
It's not a shot at your life.
They're just messy.
That's okay.
Sometimes, I don't want them, either.
You know, I hope you know That I think you have a great life.
It's the one you wanted since we were little.
But you never said you wanted it.
I'm sorry.
I'm gonna try and accept that your goals really are different than mine, and that's still okay.
Okay? They're great.
Look I made one comment about your life, and it hurt you, and I'm so sorry.
But how do you think it makes me feel when you and Ama you you criticize my life every day.
But we just want you to make it better because it seems so sad.
You don't even know you're doing it anymore, do you? Oh, please.
Don't start again.
Sir, I've been thinking, and as much as I appreciate the opportunity, I feel like Cristela should be the one to get the stipend for CPR.
Mm.
So, then, that'll give you more time to make out here in the conference room.
What's that, now? So, um, tell me, where exactly did it happen? Was it around here? Oh, no, no.
It it didn't happen there.
It ha no! Nothing uh, nothing happened.
It didn't happen.
Didn't happen.
I don't know what you think is acceptable behavior in a law office, but I'm pretty sure it isn't carrying on with the boss' daughter.