Drop Dead Diva s01e12 Episode Script

see that aspiring model there? that was me - deb - until the day i died.
i thought i'd go straight to heaven, but there was a bit of a mix-up and i woke up in someone else's body.
so now i'm jane, a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
i got a new life, a new wardrobe, and the only people who really know what's going on with me are my girlfriend stacy and my guardian angel, fred.
i used to think everything happened for a reason and, well, i sure hope i was right.
DROP DEAD DIVA there's no coffee.
you don't say.
are you gonna make some? you were here first.
what are we - six? you're closest.
oh, good - an assistant.
uh, there's no coffee.
damn it! i need it bad.
i was up all night checking the status of ex-boyfriends on facebook.
can you make some? sorry, i don't change toner, volunteer to be fire marshall, or make coffee.
kim, grab your coat.
we're going to lumaze department store.
i think you mean my credit card.
no, i mean your coat.
an old friend just referred a new client, christy talbot.
no way.
christy jacquelin talbot? runway model turned actress turned trophy wife of billionaire donald spanger? that's the one.
she's being held by store security for assaulting a salesclerk.
let's go.
i'm sure there was a mistake, christy would never assault anyone in retail.
last month, her husband was convicted of running a ponzi scheme.
yeah, her husband disappeared while out on bail.
that's right.
maybe the stress got to her.
- good morning.
- good morning.
- good morning.
- good morning.
good morning.
you know how i feel about office relationships.
right, like you and janine in h.
r.
or you and shelley in contracts? no.
like me and tanya in i.
t.
i didn't know about you and tanya.
that's because i keep it quiet.
and i suggest you do the same.
hey, you will not believe who my firm's representing.
christy talbot! shut up! how'd she look? did she have bangs? can you find out who does her highlights? stacy, i'm not on the case.
parker asked kim.
but you are the expert in all things christy.
- i know.
quiz me.
- okay.
how many hours did it take to paint her naked body for that peta ad? - eight.
- mm-hmm.
in what music video did she do a striptease? aerosmith, but it was really just a pole dance.
stacy, you know i've practically memorized her comeback spread, "thirty-five and fabulous.
" i could write her wikipedia page.
i should totally be her lawyer, but i can't just assign myself to her case.
jane, when valentino almost went with paulina during fashion week, christy forced her own go-see and earned her right on the runway.
she can be your inspiration.
yeah, i don't know.
jane, you owe it to christy and your firm.
okay, you're right.
i'm going to lumaze! you're much taller than you seemed on the phone.
and you are much calmer in person.
oh, well, that's because of you and you said you'd take on my case.
for free! we call it pro bono, and i don't believe anyone should be forced to sell their home so developers can put up shopping malls.
damn right.
the city is invoking eminent domain.
they can try to force you to sell your house at market value by claiming your neighborhood is blighted.
oh, how dare they? i'm not willing to sell at any price.
that house is where oscar and i shared our life together.
and if they force me to leave - it's like you're leaving oscar.
you understand.
are you married, grayson? i don't see a ring.
no.
millie, in reviewing your file.
i believe the city may be over-reaching - you got a girlfriend? eminent domain is usually used for highways or airports.
ohh! you got a fella.
i should have known.
i mean, you're so neat and trim like that doogie howser fella.
actually, i just started seeing a woman.
oh.
now, i believe our best shot is to argue - you know, you remind me of my oscar - handsome and strong-jawed and getting annoyed with me.
i'm not getting annoyed.
i just want to discuss your case.
okay.
but when you do find your soul mate, treasure every moment.
stacy, i can't ask her for her autograph.
because i have to be professional! oh, i have to go.
jane? what are you doing here? - and how did you beat us? - i drive a porsche.
and i know more about this client than anyone.
i really think i can be helpful.
oh, really? did you know that she wore ralph lauren every day to her husband's trial? so? christy talbot and designer ralph lauren had a famous feud back in her heyday about taupe leather pants.
but the second her husband was arrested, ralph rushed to her side.
personally, i think he was using her for the publicity, but prior knowledge of a client is always an advantage.
let's go.
i was just buying a bag.
the clerk was being extremely rude.
we'd like you to release ms.
talbot immediately.
the police are on their way.
christy, don't worry, i won't let them arrest the woman who invented the catwalk "freeze and turn.
" freeze and turn and turn.
i'm sure she didn't mean to assault anyone.
you'll want to see the tape.
and here it comes.
i'm thinking her card was declined because the a.
d.
a.
froze her assets.
they're trying to squeeze her, hoping she'll tell them where her husband's hiding.
uh, hello! i'm right here, and i don't know where he is.
listen, no one got hurt.
our client is under a lot of stress.
you know how women get when they can't shop.
how do women get? sir, christy came to your wonderful store for solace.
she was simply engaging in some much-needed retail therapy.
which, by the way, that gucci bag is exquisite.
so when it was inexplicably taken away, surely you can understand how someone might get upset.
so, an apology should cover the assault, and this should cover the bag.
right on the nose.
i know.
and i promise this will never happen again.
as soon as ms.
talbot's credit cards are unfrozen, she will return for a round of well-publicized therapy.
well, if it's okay with the salesclerk, i see no reason to hold her.
thank you.
thank you.
nice work, jane.
now, let's get my assets unfrozen so that i can pay you back.
we'll petition the court.
forensic accounting is my specialty, so thank you but she will be my lawyer.
- me? - her? i am so on to you.
- i'm busy, kim.
- you stole christy talbot.
it just kind of happened.
oh, like you just kind of happened to show up at the store.
well, i thought i could help, and i did.
aw, there she is - sweet jane.
"i thought i could help.
" - you're a shark.
- what? you pretend you're not ambitious and everyone falls for it and then you swoop in for the kill.
actually, you're more like a duck.
all sweet and calm above the water, but underneath, your little legs are churning away.
o-okay, what do you think i want, kim? oh, i know what you want - partnership.
my partnership.
seriously, i couldn't care less.
quack! you are so obvious.
okay, hold on.
hello.
hi, ms.
talbot.
christy, i was just working on your case, and - yes! cocktails tonight.
um, i-i look forward to seeing you.
okay.
okay, bye.
where were we? quack! parker - you're looking for another case.
- how did you know that? - jane got christy.
you're gonna ask for something partnership-worthy.
i'm thinking a product liability or a potential class action - something with a "wow" factor.
you don't need "wow.
" you just need more pro bono hours.
actually, you need some pro bono hours.
- you have none.
- seriously? mm.
no, i give money to charity.
i did that walkathon for the kids with the thing whowanted to go to that camp, remember? pro bono's not really up my alley.
the partners know you can bring in, but we also need to know you can give back.
fine.
bring it on.
justnothing too icky.
i'm not really into the smelly, the contagious, or anything with a syndrome.
talk to your boyfriend.
he just took on a pro bono.
maybe he could use your help.
wouldn't it be nice? so, i spoke to the court.
the d.
a.
seriously overstepped, and your personal account was supposed to be off-limits.
so that account and your credit cards should be available in a few days.
i told you everything would be okay.
ang is my rock.
all my other girlfriends bailed on me when my husband was arrested.
the press says that you helped your husband disappear, and the a.
d.
a.
considers you a person of interest.
we know.
there's been a cop car in front of her house for weeks.
jane, i love my husband, but i didn't help him flee.
we were in santa barbara for the weekend.
we were kayaking.
he wanted some time alone to contemplate, so i came back to shore - alone.
i never saw him again.
when - when he didn't come back that night, i'm the one who called the authorities.
she cried herself sick for three days thinking he was hurt or worse.
if the press is right and he skipped town, then i'm angry as hell that he just left me.
buti don't know.
i-i don't know what to believe.
no way.
she's telling the truth.
oh, no, not about christy.
excuse me.
oh, my god! jane, what are you doing here? with christy talbot! i'm a huge fan.
- you know her? - umyeah.
this is my best friend, stacy.
when i told you about cocktails with christy, i told you it was business.
all i heard was "cocktails with christy.
" umwould you care to join us? oh! does a brazilian ouch? of course i would like to join you.
just sit.
oh, look what's in my purse.
your comeback spread, "thirty-five and fabulous.
" - would you mind? - no.
okay, can you make it out to "stacy, my number-one --" "number-two fan.
" um, okay.
so here's to frozen margaritas and unfrozen assets.
favorite ice cream? mmm, mint chip.
favorite tort? lemon.
law, not dessert.
i know.
i was kidding.
huh.
five whole minutes before bringing up work.
that's a new record for you.
oh, shut up.
like you don't love to talk about your cases.
speaking of, i hear you're working on an interesting pro bono.
sweet old lady, big evil developer.
ooh.
i've represented big evil developers before.
i know how they think.
maybe i could help out.
that'd be great.
and you could use the pro bono hours.
how did you know that? parker told me you'd be asking.
busted.
where are you going? got 50 bucks riding on the dodger game.
ugh.
if you had a tv in here, i wouldn't have to leave the bed.
uh, do you have a tv in your bedroom? oh, wait.
i wouldn't know.
i've never been to your place.
really? yes, really.
somehow, we always end up here.
it's more convenient.
my place is closer to your gym.
busted.
okay.
next sleepover, my place.
you said that last time.
it's a miracle -- that feel like 3.
let me tell you about miracles.
gels, baby, gels.
donny and marie have never been so happy and perky! what? sonny and cher, you've got a treat in store.
uh, it's tony.
yay! it's this cute guy she's totally crushing on.
answer it! answer it! - go on -- pick it up! - go! go! okay.
okay, okay, okay.
hey, tony.
i know it's last-minute, but you want to grab a quick dinner? you know, i would love to, but i'm actually at a client meeting.
really? sounds like you're at a bar.
well, i'm at a client meeting at a bar.
'cause i have the best client ever.
so how about lunchthursday? great.
- okay.
- i'll swing by and pick you up.
jane? i have to go now.
ms.
talbot? l.
a.
p.
d.
your husband's body has been found.
oh, my god.
he washed up onshore in santa barbara.
no.
no.
ms.
talbot, you're under arrest for the murder of donald spanger.
- what? - i need you to stand, please.
i swear to god, i didn't do anything! you have the right to remain silent.
speak to me lawyer! where do you come off asking the judge to deny my client bail? give me one good reason! i'll give you two -- premeditated murder and the woman is a flight risk.
you're just harassing her because she'sfabulous.
look, ms.
bingum, your client and the victim rented kayaks, went out into the ocean.
only your client returned.
coroner reports her husband was killed with a blow to the back of his head from a kayak oar.
do the math.
it's all circumstantial.
plus motive.
christy killed him while he was out on appeal.
she picked the perfect time.
what are you talking about? if the verdict was upheld, his estate would go to the government.
christy would get nothing.
but if he died while he was appealing, as is the case, then his convictio is automatically vacated.
and christy keeps every penny.
i have the authority to offer a plea -- second-degree murder.
but the offer goes away if this thing goes to trial.
my case must be a tough one if i'm getting two free lawyers.
- cookie? - no, thank you.
kim offered to help, and we're lucky to get her.
oh we have some good news.
the developers made an impressive new offer for your house -- twice the market value.
oh, i don't want to sell.
oh, it's our obligation to bring you the offer.
well, okay, but, no, thanks.
millie, in this economy, you should at least consider it.
miss, i am not going to leave my oscar.
you don't have to answer right away.
take some time, think about it.
i don't want them destroying my home, and if you can't respect my wishes, then you shouldn't be working on my case oreating my cookie.
i assure you, millie, we're both on your side.
this isn't the girl you'reseeing, is it? yes.
why? oh just a question.
don't go anywhere.
i'm getting you the rest of the cookies.
wow,i mean, i understand sentimental, but, come on, this place smells like old.
our job is to represent the client, not impose ourselves on them.
i think she's playing us.
she just wants a better offer.
she doesn't want to leave why is that so hard to believe? because everyone has a price.
maybe she doesn't.
she'd be the first.
you want me to take a deal? they have strong evidence and motive.
but i didn't kill my husband.
i admit --i was mad at him.
i mean, he ripped off all of those investors, and we were fighting.
we were fighting a lot.
but i loved him.
i didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to him, and you're telling me that you want me to say that i killed him? we strongly recommend you take the plea.
but i'm innocent.
do you hear me? i am innocent.
- i under-- - okay, that's settled.
we'll reject their offer.
- jane.
- no plea.
thank you.
what are you doing? you heard her.
she didn't do it.
they all say that.
did you see her cry? those were real tears.
- she's an actress.
- she's a terrible one.
in her tv movie "my daughter, the stranger," she couldn't even fake a frown, let alone a tear.
you know her performance got a jeer from "tv guide"? and that's what makes you think she's telling us the truth? absolutely.
kim.
uh, i didn't expect to see you back here so soon.
where's grayson? he was busy, and i didn't think this should wait.
millie, we got another offer -- a million dollars.
it's like winning the lottery.
well, if i wanted to win the lottery, i would play the lottery.
tell the developers, "no, thank you.
" millie, think about what that kind of money could buy you -- a nice condo, stability.
they're not going any higher, and if you wait for the hearing and they win, you're back to fair-market value.
look,every day that i am here, it's like my oscar is still with me.
can money buy that? you'll still have those memories, and i'm sure he would want you to take the -- oh, how dare you?! you have no idea what oscar would want! oh, i'm i'm sorry if i was out of line.
and i admit -- i'm not sentimental and i don't understand your attachment, but i need you to see -- look.
my whole life, i have known women like you -- women who only see the world one way.
everything revolves around them.
they don't care about what someone else needs or wants.
let me tell you something, missy.
those women -- they end up unhappy.
um i'm sorry i wasted your time.
mac o'brien, proprietor of mac's kayak shack.
on the day mr.
spanger disappeared, did you rent kayaks and paddles to both he and his wife, the defendant? that's right.
do you remember anything unusual about their behavior? they were arguing over money.
your honor, allow me to read from exhibit "a," the coroner's report.
proceed.
"polymer-blend shards were found in the victim's skull.
"cause of death was blunt-force trauma to the occipital bone "with a weapon consistent with the shape and size of a kayak paddle.
" mr.
o'brien, what kind of paddles do you rent? polymer-blend ones.
thank you.
how many kayak-rental places are along the southern california coast? and are you the only one that rents polymer-blend paddles? no, they all do.
you said that the defendant was arguing with her husband.
are they the only couple that you have ever seen fighting at your shop? no, no.
i've seen some pretty wicked fights over the years.
well, according to oprah, the average married couple fights several times a week.
objection! that's not a question.
um what oprah said -- did you know that? no, i-i only watch "ellen.
" - are you married? - yep, five years.
and have you ever argued with your wife? - yeah, of course.
- have you killed your wife? no.
no further questions.
hey! um, if millie calls, will you -- she called.
she was sobbing, begging me not to be upset with her for turning down a million dollars.
what million dollars? i never heard about it.
i was gonna tell you that -- were you gonna tell the developers, too? - because when i called -- - i wish you hadn't done that.
because there was no offer! you were bluffing millie.
what the hell? i was testing out a theory.
i thought millie was holding out for more money, and if that were the situation, then i -- then we would have to approach this case differently.
but i was wrong.
sogood news -- you were right.
it turns out she really loves that dump.
this isn't a game, kim.
millie may be a pro bono case, but it's a real case.
what would you have done if she would have said yes to the offer? i would have figured something out.
i'm good on my feet.
if she finds out what you did, she could sue us for malpractice.
how would that look for your partnership? oh.
now, that is refreshing.
a light lavender mist is an excellent hydration delivery system.
thank you.
christy, it's important that you hold your head up high in court.
you didn't do anything wrong, and that's the image you need to project.
now, from "thirty-five and fabulous," i know that you only wear light browns with pink undertones.
it's perfect.
oh, and nails.
christy, you have a big decision to make.
i'm guessing that's not a yea or nay on french tips.
it's "do you want to testify?" if you take the stand, i can't protect you from anything the a.
d.
a.
asks, soit's risky.
it was getting late.
i was tired, so i kayaked back to the shore.
- and you left your husband by himself? - yes.
he wanted some time alone.
you never saw him again? no.
isn't it true you believed your husband would lose his appeal, so you killed him for his money then planned to flee the country? objection! conjecture.
he's just making crap up! mr.
montez, are you making crap up? allow me to submit exhibit "b.
" my office secured a subpoena to search a storage unit owned by ms.
talbot.
and this is what we found -- a fraudulent passport.
christy's picture, a new name, a new birth date.
according to this, her name is laura willis, and her age is 43.
so, no, i'm not making crap up.
well, i'll say this -- your acting's really improved.
- jane, i didn't kill donald.
- whatever.
i'll go to the d.
a.
and see if he'll consider a plea.
- the terms won't be as good as before.
- i won't plea.
then you spend the rest of your life in that unflattering jumpsuit! and just so you know, orange is not going forward this season.
i'm 43.
my real name is laura willis.
that passport and i.
d.
-- they're real.
- i'm a fake.
- what does that mean? i was born in ohio.
when i moved to l.
a.
, i got into shape.
i had a little rhino, a little lipo, and while i was at it, i sucked eight years off my age.
you needed to create an image.
the business can be really cruel.
i had a cousin that was eight years younger than me, and she passed away.
i used her social security number, andi reinvented myself.
i took everything that belonged to the old me, and i hid it in that storage unit.
i'm not the greatest person in the world, jane but i'm not a killer.
well, i'll just explain the situation to the court, - and the jury is -- - no! no, you can't say anything.
absolutely not.
no one can know about laura willis.
the only reason that i'm telling you is because i need you to believe in me.
christy, this could save you.
i lost my husband and most of my friends.
i can't lose what's left.
i don't want to disappear.
i'm christy.
i'm not laura.
i'm not her anymore.
if this is about work, plenty of older models have jobs and -- no, it's not about work.
this is about my life.
the whole world thinks that i'm if you explain that passport, i am gonna be the punch line on late-night tv.
please, find something else.
anything else.
here.
i figured you could use this, considering the coffee situation at the office.
thanks.
come on, grayson.
i'm trying to apologize.
i'm sorry i went off the deep end with millie.
you really have a thing about her.
actually i think it's more about me.
i have a really hard time believing that somebody could be that attached to a physical space.
as a kid, i switched houses at least every other year.
i never grew attached to anyplace because i couldn't.
but i guess some people are truly sentimental, and i need to get over myself.
i'm really sorry, and i'm really embarrassed, and if you want me off this case, consider it done.
- okay.
- all right.
no, i mean "okay stop beating yourself up.
" and i'd like you to stay on the case.
thanks.
soyour place tonight, right? uh um yeah, if, uh - i'm not sure if -- - it's okay.
really, it's fine.
- um, jane, i need to tell you -- - teri, can it wait? i need you to go back and pull anything we might have missed on christy's background.
tony.
tony's here.
crap.
good to see you, too.
you didn't get my text.
no, i didn't.
"hey, tony.
so sorry -- need a rain check.
" there it is.
i-i'm so sorry.
really, i-it's this case.
- how can i make it up to you? - dinner? what happened to the rest of the talbot files? tony? - long time, no see.
- hey! hey.
how you doing, man? i was doing pretty good till jane blew me off, here.
it's okay.
i get it.
um, we'll reschedule.
teri, can you get me copies of the coroner's report? hey, do you know kim kaswell? uh, yeah, i've gone up against her twice.
the score's 1-1.
nice.
the two of you should join us for dinner tomorrow.
yeah, if, uh, jane's free.
jane? yeah.
yeah, i-i think so.
can you get me every article on donald spanger since his disappearance? great.
i'll make the reservation for four.
see you then.
- this'll be fun, jane.
- what'll be fun? dinner -- grayson, kim.
see you tomorrow.
kim? did i just agree to that? i'm a witness.
fun.
k & m construction wants to build a shopping mall, and they need my client's house.
now, in filing their paperwork, they did a brilliant job of following the letter of the law while violating its spirit.
objection! if no law was broken, what are we doing here? overruled.
proceed, mr.
kent.
k & m see millie's house as bricks and wood, ready for the wrecking ball.
but anyone who's ever lived with a loved one -- with a soul mate knows that it's so much more.
it's where memories are made.
and after the passing of your soul mate, it's where those memories are kept.
and eventually, the house becomes the memory itself.
you've heard the expression "you are what you eat.
" well, i believe "you are where you live.
" and if you let that wrecking ball in well, i'm not sure you can destroy millie's house without destroying her life.
that was lovely, dear.
thanks.
we'll adjourn till morning.
i'll render my decision then.
thank you.
i think i really made an impression on the judge.
not just the judge.
that was some speech.
what? "you are where you live.
" you were talking about your home.
no, i was talking about millie and her home.
come on, grayson.
you were speaking from the heart.
you were talking about you and deb and the house you shared -- the one i've never seen.
- kim -- - and now i understand why -- you'd feel like you were cheating on her.
it's not like that.
three nights ago, you said our next sleepover would be at your place.
we haven't slept together since.
look, i can't imagine what you've been through, but i don't want to be the other woman.
i'm not a wrecking ball.
i care about you, about what you want and need.
and right now this isn't it.
you will get over this keep waiting for it ugh, i'm so tired, i don't even know what i'm looking at anymore.
there's got to be something here.
good evening, ladies! is this the headquarters of "operation save christy"? ugh, i never thought i'd be so happy to see you.
two cappuccinos, triple shots.
this is so exciting.
i'm doing my part to save a model.
- you just brought the coffee.
- and i can take it away.
- you're a hero.
- mm.
what the hell? what is it? something disgusting? no.
no, check this out.
- right here.
- ooh, a blemish! what does it mean? i don't know.
well, it says in the crime-lab report that on donald's neck, the tech found candela wax, carmine, and eosin.
it's lipstick! waterproof lipstick.
i read cosmetic labels.
so, the lipstick on his neck probably means donald died after making out with someone.
but if donald and christy were fighting, they wouldn't have been kissing.
oh, my god, i could be a csi.
this lipstick could prove that christy wasn't the last person to see her husband alive, which would mean she didn't kill him.
that's fantastic! doesn't christy look great here? it's the perfect shade of lipstick.
now take a look at her lips.
awful -- a fashion don't.
and a career model such as ms.
talbot would know that orange sunrise lipstick would clash with her skin tone, isn't that right? sure, but what does it have to do with me? there was lipstick found on donald's dead body, and the crime lab identified the lipstick as orange sunrise, long-lasting, waterproof orange sunrise.
what lipstick are you wearing? umorange sunrise, but it's a very popular color.
you're right.
it doesn't prove anything.
angie, do you have a nickname for your breasts? objection! relevance? oh, her breasts are extremely relevant.
mm, proceed.
short leash.
i call them donny and marie.
last night, i combed through all of the victim's overseas accounts.
were you aware that he set up two accounts named donny and marie? must be a coincidence.
i got a subpoena for the password to donny and marie -- the accounts, not your breasts -- no i.
d.
is required, just a series of numbers.
a numerical representation for december 20, 1979 -- your birthday.
angie, you and donald were having an affair, weren't you? i didn't kill him.
i was in love with him.
you were my best friend! order.
order in this court.
donald and i were going to run away together, but he was terrified christy would find out.
if she did, he feared for his life.
and he was right.
angiewhere were you the night donald disappeared? i don't remember.
i have a credit-card receipt that might jog your memory.
it says here that you rented a boat in oxnard.
so was the plan to have donald and christy to go kayaking and for donald to wait until christy went ashore and then for you to pick him up in your boat? yes.
we were going to flee to mexico, but he never showed up because christy killed him! she is lying! - order! order.
- what?! there's only one problem with your story, angie.
you rented this boat for one day.
if your plan was to flee the country, you would've rented that boat for as long as possible so that no one would come looking for you.
- isn't that right? - n-- you met donald off the coast of santa barbara.
you kissed him, maybe more, and then you bashed him over the head with a kayak paddle and threw him overboard.
- no, i -- - then you returned the boat, acted the part of the concerned best friend, biding your time until you could get your hands on donny and marie -- two accounts worth $6 million.
and that is not a question, angie, because we know that's exactly what happened.
while the fifth amendment provides for eminent domain as long as the property owner is justly compensated, i found the petitioner's argument compelling.
i rule in favor of millie carlson.
your honor, counsel didn't put forth a single legal argument.
mr.
langford, just because you found a way to work the system doesn't mean that i have to allow it.
you'll be overturned on appeal.
quite likely.
what just happened? that nice judge just bought you another six months in your house.
ohh.
thank you.
- oscar would be so pleased.
- oh.
so, you promise me you'll do this all over again in six months? of course.
unless, you know, in time, you might be ready to move.
oh, no, i'll never move.
and that's your choice.
no one can tell you to move on if you're not ready.
uh, yes, well, about that.
um, i got to ask you something.
of course.
you promise to keep working for me pro bono, right? millie, you have our word.
and as my lawyers, whatever i tell you is confidential, right? attorney-client privilege like what i've seen on "law & order?" you can tell us anything.
i can't move because if they dig up my house, they'll find oscar buried under the floorboards.
i killed him in '89.
he was a real pain in the ass.
he wouldn't shut up, even during "wheel.
" so one day, i i had enough.
well, see you in six months.
don't say anything.
i wouldn't know where to begin.
take it.
take it.
it's just a bag.
well, when you put it that way.
okay, thank you.
you must think i'm such a fool -- my husband and my best friend.
i missed, um, all the signs.
no.
you just wanted to believe that the people who love you actually love you.
if only i could do it all over again, i would do things so differently.
hey, do you want to grab some dinner? my credit cards are working again.
ohh.
any other time, absolutely.
i just -- i've got - ohh.
hot date with tony? more like an uncomfortable double date with tony and two colleagues, but, yeah.
you know, christy, as your number-one fan and now your friend, i just want to say that it's never too late to do it all over again -- you know, to do things differently.
thanks, jane for everything.
hello? you're not gonna believe this.
you're blowing me off for work? i've got a hot date with 57 boxes of discovery in a warehouse in la ca?ada.
lunch tomorrow no matter what.
yes, no matter what.
bye.
so, that was tony, and he's not coming.
neither is kim.
you're kidding me.
no, we broke up.
oh, grayson, i'm uh, should we just call it a night? no way.
i already ordered the pinot.
have a seat.
so, what happened? i mean, not that you have to tell me, just if you wanted to talk.
- she dumped me.
- was she awful? no, but maybe i was.
i wasn't really ready to date.
i told her i was.
hell, i had to sell her on the idea, but when push came to shove i wouldn't let her in.
to your heart? to my house.
what? you know, deb once told me something -- i have this theory, and, grayson, it's a good one.
is this about how produce will take over the world? the whole reason fruit exists is to get us to eat it and spread its seeds so it can multiply.
it's genius! but that's not what i was gonna say.
you know how some people say "you are what you eat"? well, i think you are where you live.
you're just saying this because we moved in together last week.
i'm saying this because it's true.
waking up in our house with you, i feel like i'm the person i was always meant to be.
yeah.
me too.
if i'm meant to be with deb, then without her, i'm thinking i should be alone.
hey, i have a theory, too.
you want to hear it? sure.
i yam what i yam, and that's all that i yam.
that's popeye.
yeah, but i really think popeye was onto something.
see, grayson, maybe we're not just where we live or what we eat or what we do -- we are who we are, and that's always changing.
you were the person who was meant to live with deb, you know, but you've changed since she's been gone.
when the time is right, you will find another person to share your life.
how can you be so sure? i just am.
it's not a bad theory.
yeah.
deb had a million of them.
did i ever tell you how she believed produce was trying to take over the world? the whole reason fruit exists is to get us to eat it and spread its seeds so it can multiply.
it's genius.
- you know that one? - yeah.
and i've got to learn how to get by