Eastwick s01e12 Episode Script
Magic Snow and Creepy Gene
[screams.]
[grunts.]
Aah! [gasps.]
[wind gusting.]
[gasping.]
Hey.
Hey.
Roxie.
Hey.
Mm.
[kisses.]
Mm.
[kisses.]
Thanks for meeting me.
So what's goin' on? Just -- just wanted to touch base, see if either of you have been contacted by the police.
III think that everyone just thinks that Jamie left town.
So far, no one suspects foul play.
It wasn't foul play.
It was self-defense.
Yeah, I don't know if a jury would agree with that.
What about Darryl? Have either of you heard from him yet? I'm glad he's gone.
I've been trying to I'm glad he's gone, too.
Honestly, I think that everything bad started to happen the day that guy showed up.
I know.
My life finally feels normal again.
So you guys haven't been Using our powers? No, not me.
Cold turkey.
Me, too.
No more angry earthquakes.
No more magically healing people until it almost kills me.
Yeah, I haven't had any psychic visions either.
It's been weirdly quiet in my head.
Aren't you relieved? I guess, although it was kind of cool for a minute, being all magical.
[chuckles.]
[sniffles.]
I gotta get to the hospital.
Yeah, II should probably go, too.
I'm meeting up with Penny.
She's been a wreck since Jamie.
Killing your best friend's boyfriend -- not cool.
- She's better off, trust me.
- You didn't tell Penny, did you? No, of course not.
I wouldn't tell anyone.
Me either.
We made a pact, and I'm sticking to it.
- So I guess this is good-bye again.
- For now.
[sighs.]
It was fun while it lasted.
[gasps.]
Oh, hey.
Hi.
How's it going? Um, so anyway, I was just dropping off another letter for Darryl.
Not sure he's getting any of these, but just in case I sure hope someone's forwarding his bills to him, because that kind of thing can really destroy a person's credit, although I'm sure he has really good credit -- or had, if he's still alive, which is all I'm really worried about, just so you know, 'cause I've checked every single hospital in a 50-mile radius every day for the past four weeks and all the morgues, and obviously I'm the only one who gives a crap, so -- - I give a crap.
You talk! II mean, you do? II mean, um, is he okay? One can only assume.
That's not much of an answer, Fidel.
No offense.
Psyched for the verbal response and all, but now that you're finally using your vocal cords, maybe you can give me something a little more specific.
- I'm without specifics.
So how do you know he's okay? Has he contacted you? He hasn't contacted you? I mean, what if he's lying dead in a ditch somewhere.
You know, the man was whacked over the head with an andiron, for God's sake.
You don't just walk away with an injury like that and check into a Ritz-Carlton.
Right, okay.
Uh, thanks for the heart-to-heart.
All right, my little noodle noggins, bath time! Let's go! Come on! Oh, looks like someone finally bought the termite house [man panting.]
Someone incredibly hot.
[indistinct conversations.]
Life sucks.
Couldn't agree more.
I finally find the perfect guy, you know? He's cute, and he's British and liked my toes.
He liked your toes? He said they were luscious.
So I ask you, what kind of man makes love to your toes and then just skips town? - A bad man.
- But he's not a bad man.
He's a nice man with an accent.
What is it with women and accents? You'll forgive anything if the guy sounds like Hugh Grant.
It's true.
I even forgave Hugh Grant.
So what are you saying -- that I shouldn't forgive Jamie? I'm saying you should see a shrink.
Or you could call your mom.
In fact, use my phone, if you promise just to take it outside.
No, thank you.
May I borrow another quarter, Jo-Jo? Yes, of course you can, sweetie.
Thank youJoanna.
Okay, she better not.
Shut up, Max.
And she did.
Hey! No tip? No.
No, not as long as you keep encouraging little Miss Misery over there.
You know what? Maybe a little bit of poverty will motivate you to action.
And what action would you like for me to take? She's your friend! Just -- just fix her.
[sighs.]
Mm.
Aren't you a sight for sore eyes? [gasps.]
Oh, my God.
It's good to see you.
You ass! Ow.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Mm.
But damn you! Mm.
Just like old times.
Where have you been, Darryl? I've been worried sick.
Well, we'll get to that, but if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to get my questions answered first.
It only seems fair, since you were the one who invited me to dinner and allowed your guest to crush my skull with a fireplace poker.
It took 28 stitches, by the way, and now my hair is growing back all weird.
Darryl, I hope you know I had nothing to do with that.
Ah, where is Mr.
Happy now? I would really like to catch up with him.
Uh, you want to know what happened to Jamie? Mm-hmm.
Well He told me you were evil and that I'd have to kill you.
He said that only someone like me, someone gifted like me, could do it.
Why is that, by the way? Hmm.
So what did you do? I refused.
We fought.
I won.
Itold him he had to leave town, told him if he ever messed with me and my girls again, he'd regret it.
- And he just left? Yep.
Went by his apartment the next day just to make sure and he was gone.
You went by yourself? I took a gun with me, but I didn't have to use it, 'cause when I got there, his apartment was completely cleaned out like he'd never been there at all.
He was justgone.
Huh.
Interesting.
And then what happened? I called the girls.
I told them what happened.
They came over, made sure I was okay.
We talked.
I cried.
And that was pretty much it.
[Roxie grunts.]
Why didn't you call the police? And tell them what -- we're a bunch of witches involved in a supernatural blood feud? And you're not worried about Jamie coming back? No.
I told you, he knows better than to mess with us again.
That's good.
I'm just so relieved you're okay.
- Mm.
Oh, hey, can I stay here tonight? I still have a number of enemies, and I don't want anyone to know that I'm back in Eastwick just yet.
- Of course.
You should absolutely stay here.
- Good.
- On the couch, obviously.
Not so good.
I'll go get those guest sheets.
[children shouting indistinctly.]
- Oh, my God.
He's back.
- Who's back? My future second husband.
His name is Colin.
His son Gene just enrolled in Erika's class, which means he's 10 or 11.
- Mm.
Dad is divorced, and his badunka dunk is off the charts.
[chuckles.]
You did not just say "badunka dunk.
" Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God! - Shh, shh, shh.
Oh, hey, hi.
- You, uh, you live across the street from us, don't you? - I do.
Yeah, um, II'm Kat.
And this is Barb and Karen.
[both, singsongy.]
Hi! Hi.
Uh, I'm Colin.
This is my son Gene.
Gene, say hi.
- Hi.
Can I go play now? - Yeah, sure.
I'll meet up with you in a sec.
Listen, I am so sorry that I haven't welcomed you into the neighborhood.
I'm usually really quick with the sugar cookies.
I actually would have introduced myself last night, but I thought it might be a little rude, seeing that I was shirtless and dripping in sweat.
Oh, all right.
[chuckles.]
All right, well, I should go get him settled in.
Ladies, it was very nice meeting you.
- Kat, I'm looking forward to those sugar cookies.
- Okay.
- Ohh.
- Ohh.
You lucky little witch.
Coast clear, or is there a blubbering redhead hiding around the corner somewhere? Your empathy is truly amazing.
I try.
Now how about you tear yourself away from your blog and get me a beer? I'm not blogging.
I'm setting up an online profile for Penny so she can meet a man.
Hello, action? It's Joanna, and I'm totally taking you.
I think the best way for Penny to get over that British creep -- is to set her up with an American creep.
Or an Italian creep.
[singsongy.]
Holla! Uh, no.
I ain't no hollaback girl.
And why are you taking all this on as if Penny getting dumped is your fault? - Because it is.
Sort of, in the way that best friends often feel responsible for each other.
But this plan is totally gonna work.
- So shut your face hole and high-five me.
- This plan is totally gonna take forever, And you've got better things to do.
I mean, you've got a bar.
You've got a blog.
You've got a life.
Eh, you got a bar and a blog, anyway.
And apparently a life coach, thank you very much.
If you're determined to find Penny a man, we're gonna have to do it the old-fashioned way.
I say we hit the streets, talk to the fellas.
- "We"? You're gonna need a wingman.
I happen to be available.
- Yeah? What's in it for you? - I just want my bar back, that's all.
If I enjoyed listening to the sound of a woman crying every day, I'd have stayed in my last relationship.
Wow, you are just one fuzzy little bunny, aren't you? [gasps.]
Okay, upsy-daisy! Rise and shine! Put some clothes on! What time is it? Almost noon.
Time for pants.
P.
S.
, how about not sleeping naked when I have a 15-year-old daughter who could walk in at any minute? You said Mia was staying with her grandmother this weekend.
Yeah, so? Doesn't mean I'm running a nudistolony here.
[laughs.]
hey, I have a fabulous idea.
What say we call the ladies and organize one of your famous martini nights? I'll call the girls, put together a martini night, ease them into things.
Why don't you give me a week or so to get their heads in the right place, and then you can mysteriously reappear and tell us everything? You trust me? I wouldn't go that far, but I know there's more to the story, and I'd like to hear your side of things.
- That means a lot to me, Roxie.
- Well, it's a two-way street.
How so? You could have shown up at any one of our doorsteps, but you chose to show up at mine, even though I'm the one that put you in danger.
- Ah, it's true.
I did.
- Why did you do that? Well, I suppose I missed you.
You did? Mm.
More than I ever thought possible.
Well, that's Oh, boy.
Mm.
Mm.
[beep.]
Hey, Rox, it's me.
Um, I'm running a little late, so do not dish before I get there, okay? Um, and, uh, I'm really glad we're doing this.
You're right.
I think we've kept our distance long enough.
Okay, see you in a few.
[beep.]
[gasps.]
Hi.
Your front door was open.
Can your kids come out and play? Uh, no, no.
They're at their Dad's tonight.
Oh.
Oh, okay.
Bye.
Whee! [gasps.]
[laughs.]
Roxie! Sorry.
I just flashed my hoochie to a 11-year-old boy.
- What? - What? Well, technically, my hoochie was walked in on [singsong voice.]
but, uh, yeah, he still saw it.
[laughs.]
[normal voice.]
Okay, so the question is, now can I still get naked with his dad, A.
K.
A.
my new hot neighbor? Or would that be, like, too weird for words? Of course not.
Just tell the kid to report to his dad how good the goods were.
If anything, it could move things along quicker.
- Gross.
Really gross.
- I know! [singsong voice.]
God, I miss you guys.
So not to kill the buzz or anything, but I do want to talk about Darryl.
[both grunt.]
Just hear me out for two conds.
I'm worried about him.
II know there's a lot of stuff we don't know, and some of it seems pretty suspicious.
- Extremely suspicious.
But just because there are missing pieces to the puzzle doesn't mean we should believe everything Eleanor and Bun are telling us.
They're the ones who tried to have us killed, and you know, maybe we should wait to judge him before we know all the facts.
- Okay.
I think we should do that.
Well, it doesn't really matter.
I mean, it's not like he's ever gonna -- Did someone here order champagne? Oh, my God.
Darryl! What are you doing here? Yeah, Darryl, what are you doing here? And more to the point, where the hell have you been? I'm sure you all have questions for me.
[glasses clink.]
Good news -- I have answers.
But I would like to start at the beginning, if I might.
Four months ago, I was summoned to Eastwick.
The three of you came together, and you made a wish, each of you looking for inspiration.
[pop.]
You sent out a call.
I heard that call.
How? I am attuned to gifted women like yourselves.
I know your thoughts.
I know your desires.
[pouring champagne.]
I know your potential.
That is my gift.
My purpose is to inspire, to facilitate.
You can think of me as your very own personal muse.
Your call went out, and I answered.
But it wasn't the first time.
25 years ago, I was also summoned.
Two of the women you already know -- Bun and Eleanor.
The third was named Gloria, and my name was Sebastian Hart.
[Joanna.]
: I knew it! When I arrived, they welcomed me.
They welcomed the awakening of their gifts.
It was impossible for us to deny the attraction we all felt.
We were young.
We were wild.
It was torrid.
[Roxie.]
: It was the '80s.
But we were too reckless.
We made mistakes.
We made enemies, and people around us started to die.
As the chaos set in, Gloria -- she was the first to change.
- [crying.]
: Go away! - She became paranoid - Don't come near me! - convinced that I was the cause of the chaos - Make it stop.
- that I was the enemy And suddenly one day, she just disappeared.
She was gone for almost a year -- Nine months, to be exact.
She was pregnant.
With Jamie.
Only I had no idea.
- [pounding on door.]
- When she returned, she was a shell of the woman she was before.
- [screaming indistinctly.]
- You lied to me! - She seemed demented, shattered, enraged.
I had no idea about the child, but the Gloria I had known and loved was gone.
And a week later, I I found a suicide note by my bedside table.
She poisoned herself [voice breaking.]
and she had carved the word "witch" in her own forehead and collapsed in the town square.
Oh, my God.
It was gruesome.
Bun and Eleanor blamed me for her death, insisting I was the cause of her mental decline, which, of course, was ludicrous.
I was no more responsible for what happened to Gloria than they were, but they didn't see it that way.
They united their powers, and they tried to kill me.
- With the tea! In the bay.
Eleanor created an electrical storm, and the two of them left me for dead in the raging waters.
I managed to swim to safety, but I never returned.
I needed them to believe that they'd succeeded.
You thought if they knew you were alive, they'd come after you.
- Yeah.
That's why I changed my name.
That's a lot to take in, Darryl.
I know, and I understand if you need to check the facts.
I lied before because I didn't feel that I was safe.
Unfortunately, I'm still not, but it's more important that you trust me.
And I'll deal with Jamie.
What? [clears throat.]
[Kat.]
: Um You don't have to worry about Jamie anymore, Darryl.
He's dead.
How do you know he's dead? Because we killed him.
[gasps.]
Wh -- Why did you lie to me? When did she lie to you? You just got here.
You didn't Just get here.
You knew he was back! Well, I, um So that's why you called this martini night -- so you could manipulate us? - Look, I can explain -- I wasn't trying to manipulate you.
- You're sleeping with each other! OhmyGod! Wait, wait, you guys.
Wait, please.
Please, just listen to me.
No, no, no.
You bring us here and tell us this whole story supposedly to our trust, and the whole time you're lying to our faces? How are we supposed to believe anything you have to say to us? Wait, you guys, I didn't know any of this stuff.
I'm hearing it for the first time, just like you.
- My ass! Let's go, Kat.
- Yeah.
Happy, genius? [chuckles.]
Damn.
That's the fifth married guy we've seen so far.
There's a reason that I am single, my friend.
This town is a wasteland.
- For you, maybe.
The odds are definitely stacked in my favor, though.
The odds are always stacked in men's favor.
That's why we hate you.
Oh, you don't hate men.
You got some spunk in your trunk, that's for sure, but you -- you're not bitter.
Now Penny, on the other hand -- is heartbroken, - Something obviously you've never experienced.
- You don't think I've ever been in love? [chuckles.]
You don't think I know what it's like to wake up with that cold ache in the middle of your belly that hurts so much that you actually convince yourself you might be dying, because it's the only possible way a human being could feel this sick, cold and empty? What was her name? - Alicia.
- And how long? - Ten months ago.
- Mm.
That's all I'm gonna say about that right now.
Okay.
Oh, hey! Okay, see that trucker hat guy right there? Yeah? His name isDon, and he used to deliver the water at the "Gazette," and if I'm not mistaken, he had a thing for Penny! I can't believe I forgot about water man Don.
[laughs.]
Hi Neighbor.
Hey, how's it goin'? Uh, it's going good, except, um, Gene[chuckles.]
Uh, he, uh, he came over to play with my kids, and he let himself in [singsong voice.]
and kind of saw me coming out of the shower.
- Whoa, whoa.
He let himself in? - [normal voice.]
Oh, no, yeah.
It's okay.
I just wanted you to know because of the nudity and whatnot.
- The nudity doesn't bother me as much as the breaking and entering part.
- Do you want me to talk to him, or -- - No, no, no.
That's -- that's okay.
I'm sure he won't do it again.
It's probably just as embarrassing for him as it was for me.
[chuckles.]
Well, maybe not just as embarrassing, but -- [Boy.]
: Get off! - What the hell? - You get off! Get off of me! - No! Come here! - Oh, no.
Yeah, that's Elliot, the playground bully.
Hey, get off! What the hell do you think you're doing, you little snot? - Get off me! Mom! You think it's fun to mess with somebody half your size -- - Mom! - Get your hands off my child! Are you insane? - Why don't you tell your kid to stop acting like a little jerk? What in the world is wrong with you? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with him? - Get him outta here.
He's a monster! - How dare you speak to us like that? Joanna, you are not gonna believe what just happened.
[glasses clink.]
Do you remember Don Dixby? Don Dixby Yeah, yeah, come on.
Water man Don.
He used to leave a case of sparkling lime under my desk every month? - Oh, right.
Yeah.
He just called me up and asked me out on a date.
- How insane is that? - I don't think it's insane.
You're a beautiful single girl, and -- and he's just a shy guy.
- He was probably too nervous to ask you out until now.
- Yeah, I guess.
Hmm.
- So when are you gonna go out? - Oh, we're not.
Why? Why not? What are you talking about? Hello? I am way too fragile to go on a date right now.
Okay, so, um, you should make it aa double date.
- Never mind.
You know what? Let's just forget it.
- Penny.
No.
I don't want to go anyway.
I'd rather stay home and watch "Philadelphia Story" again with you anyway.
- No.
You're going.
- Joanna -- - I will find a date.
- Joanna -- - We're going.
[whirring.]
Well, this is fun.
- Shut up! - Oh, that's the first two words you've spoken to me all day.
I'll take them.
[turns off vacuum.]
Don't do that, Darryl.
I'm really mad.
The girls won't call me back, and I don't blame them.
- If they never trust me again, it's all your fault.
- Look, if you hadn't lied to me about killing Jamie, we might not be in this situation.
- I had to lie to you.
The girls and I made a pact.
It's different.
You're right.
Say that again.
You're right.
It is different.
And I'm sorry.
I should have listened to you.
Well, yeah.
You should've.
[chuckles.]
[chuckles.]
I forgive you.
And I'm sure, in time, the girls will forgive me.
But will they forgive me? We'll just have to wait and see.
That's just it.
I can't wait.
What do you mean? [sighs.]
I have no reason for staying here anymore.
I came because the three of you needed me and wanted me.
And nowI have no purpose.
So Are you a person? - Yes, I am a person.
- Are you a person? I'm sorry.
Just the whole "You're a muse, "we're your purpose, you can't die unless I kill you "with some weird-ass dagger -- " Yeah, Roxie, I am a person.
I'm just not a normalone.
You can say that again.
And I can't stay here.
But I don't have to leave alone.
What? Come with me.
You and me are both being stifled in this small town, and you were meant for bigger and better things.
You know that.
We could move anywhere.
We could explore the world together as a family.
I don't know what to say.
Don't say anything yet.
Just think about it.
[knock on door.]
I overreacted, didn't I? Yes, you kinda did.
I thought so.
You took off pretty quick this afternoon.
Well, I, uh, try to keep my kids away from fighting as much as possible.
They got enough of that when Ray and I were splitting up.
- Ray is your ex-husband? - Yep.
Also a bit of a temper.
I know how it must have looked, and I feel horrible.
I've never been a playground dad before, and watching another kid pick on my boy, it it turned me into someone I didn't recognize.
You really have never taken Gene to the park before? No.
Ellen and I -- that's my wife -- We had a pretty traditional marriage.
I worked.
She stayed at home and raised Gene.
Well, maybe that's why Ellen left.
She probably got tired of being the 1950s housewife.
Ellen passed away a year ago.
Oh, my God.
Oh, I am - I am so sorry.
Um, II -- - Don't be.
It's -- it's okay.
I heard that -- that is, I thought -- - It's okay.
Don't worry.
- No, I feel terrible.
Don't.
Please.
I Would you like to come in? Um, I can -- I can whip up some of those sugar cookies.
Yeah.
[chuckles.]
[Bossa Nova music playing.]
Your arms must be really buff, Don.
From carrying all the water.
Those -- those bottles are so heavy, huh? They're unwieldy, even.
I, too, have difficulty wielding those bottles.
Yeah.
You get used to it.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
You okay? Jamie loved water.
Oh, here we go.
- Who's Jamie? - Nobody.
- My ex-boyfriend.
- Man, this steak is off the chain! Who wants a bite? You know, we weren't together that long.
It's just that it was a really special relationship.
Special in that you didn't really know each other, and that didn't seem to bother you, so I'll take a bite.
Of course I knew him.
No, you didn't.
You guys had sex.
Great sex! Fine! Great sex! But that's not enough to build a relationship on, Penny, and the guy could have been a serial killer for all you know! - Oh, thanks.
That's nice, comparing my ex-boyfriend to a serial killer.
- Try the sauce, man.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I just think that you are wasting your time obsessing over Jamie.
He doesn't deserve it, and it's a little much already, Penny.
I mean, it's not like you guys were engaged or anything.
- Oh, okay.
Yeah, let's do it.
Let's all take a dip in Lake Joanna.
I'm sorry that I wasn't proposed to and then left at the altar.
Ooh! You -- you got left at the altar? I proposed to three women.
They all said no.
And I'm leaving.
Penny, no.
Wait.
Wait! You've just been pitying me this whole time, like this whole thing is some big joke to you.
Well, it's not -- Not to me.
[knock on door.]
You gave the help the night off? Fidel is out gathering boxes.
Moving is Oh, it's such a pain.
Maybe you shouldn't move.
Maybe you should come with me.
I'm sorry, but I can't.
Why not? I can't leave my girls.
I thought you were having a fight.
We are, but it'll pass.
Kat and Joanna and I -- we're connected.
You're my muse, but Mm.
So are they.
I don't know if things will ever go back to the way they were before, but I do know that if I leave, we don't stand a chance.
You miss your powers.
I do.
Even before you got here, I felt different, and being with Kat and Joanna, for the first time, different didn't feel bad or weird.
It just felt right.
I don't know what it all means, but it's important for me to find out.
And I can't do that if I leave Eastwick.
Good-bye, Darryl.
I know Penny.
She's never gonna forgive me, which is good for you, I guess.
- How is it good for me? Well, you got your bar back, right? That's what you wanted.
So mission accomplished.
Congrats.
That's not the only reason I did this, Joanna.
It's not? Unh-unh.
II may have had some otherreasons.
What kind of other reasons? You know.
[cell phone ringing.]
Mnh-mnh.
Mnh-mnh.
Let it go to voice mail.
Let it go to voice mail! It could be Penny.
It could be Penny.
[sighs.]
[beep.]
Oh, that's weird.
Mm? Hello? Uh-huh.
Yes.
Really? Okay! - Okay.
- What? Okay.
That was Clyde, and, um, I just got my job back at the "Gazette.
" - No kidding! - Yeah.
That, uh, that sounds like a reason to celebrate.
Mm, mm.
Oh, I should really get home, you know? I have to -- I have to get some sleep.
- Mm-hmm.
- Tomorrow's a very big day.
- Yeah.
- I'll see you at work.
- I guess you will.
I'm so happy I have to pee! [laughs.]
Everything is back on track with Joanna, and the Penny problem has been resolved.
Yeah.
I'll call you when I know more.
[creak.]
And here I thought Ray and I were the last married people on Earth to go to Prom together.
I can actually do you one better.
Ellen and I met at summer camp, and when we played Red Rover, I would send Ellen right over.
- [laughs.]
- [knock on door.]
Oh.
I swear, I'm usually not this popular, especially at night.
[Darryl.]
: Hi.
Ah.
Am I interrupting something? Actually, yeah.
No, no.
I was actually on my way home.
Oh, no, no, no.
You don't have to go.
- It's okay.
I told Gene he could play video games until I got home, so he's probably a zombie by now.
Good-lookin' guy.
What do you want, Darryl? I came to say good-bye.
You're leaving? I think it's for the best, don't you? Anyway, I need to ask you for a small favor.
I need you to look after Roxie for a bit.
I have a feeling she needs a friend.
And you, dear Kat, you are one of the best friends that I've had the privilege to know.
[door closes.]
Who's the guy in the suit? I'm not sure.
I figured it was her ex-husband.
I don't think so.
I did research on the ex, and he doesn't seem like the type to have a limo.
Yeah, well, she didn't introduce me -- So you introduce yourself, Colin! I'm sorry.
I didn't think -- You never think.
That's your problem.
I have to do all the thinking for you! - I'm sorry.
- Forget it! What happened with the girl? Did you smooth things over? Everything seems to be fine.
She's very sweet, in fact.
Good.
I was counting on that.
[knock on door.]
[sighs.]
I'm feeling sheepish.
No.
I'm a terrible friend.
Oh, no.
So, um, I heard you got your job back.
Wow, news travels fast.
How'd you hear? Oh, Clyde sent everyone an e-mail saying that we had to be particularly nice to you per a Mr.
Darryl van Horne's request.
Wait.
Darryl got me my job back? Wow.
Guess maybe Darryl isn't such a bad guy after all.
Yeah, if you say so.
But anyway, you know, congratulations.
So is that why you came over? Because Clyde said you had to be nice to me? Nah.
I was going to apologize anyway.
I just figured it would be better to do it here than at the office.
- I'm the one who really needs to apologize, Penny.
I never should have said those things.
I'm so sorry.
No, no.
You were right.
I needed to hear them.
I was obsessing, and I want you to know that I am so over Jamie - Dalton.
- Dalton -- so over him.
So good-bye, Jamie Dalton, and thank you for the memories.
[imitates spitting.]
And, um, I think I'm gonna call water man Don and apologize for my appalling behavior.
- I'm borrowing this.
- Okay.
Okay.
[cell phone rings.]
[beep.]
You guys didn't have to come over here.
I'm fine.
You're not fine.
You're sad, which does not automatically mean we forgive you for lying to us.
- But we want to help you, because that's what friends are for.
- Mm.
I don't even know why I'm so sad.
It's not like there was anything going on with me and Darryl.
I mean, I guess there was.
- There definitely was.
- There definitely was.
Okay, fine, but we didn't even sleep together until yesterday.
How was that, by the way? Awesome, but not exactly what I thought it would be either.
- How do you mean? - I don't know.
I guess I thought that once we finally did the deed, I wouldn't be curious anymore, and the whole thing would be over, but it wasn't.
It felt more like a beginning.
[sighs.]
That sounds stupid, right? No, that doesn't sound stupid to me.
Sounds like you have real feelings for Darryl van Horne.
Uh-huh.
Oh, please.
How could anyone have real feelings for Darryl van Horne? He's so -- he's so -- Perfect for you? [laughs.]
Okay, now I'm sad.
I still don't understand why he has to leave.
There's no reason for him to stay here without the three of us -- - Requiring a muse.
But if we got the band back together then he might stay? No, forget it.
You guys made it perfectly clear how you feel about your powers.
- Well, you know, now that I have my job back at the "Gazette," my powers might come in handy.
Uh, w -- you got your job back? Thanks to Darryl.
That muse is a real mensch.
Look, he has brought a lot of drama into our lives, but it wasn't all bad.
Some of it was actually kind offun.
Yeah, it really was, wasn't it? So wait, what are we saying? Call your new boyfriend.
Tell him to cancel the moving truck.
[grunts.]
Aah! [gasps.]
[wind gusting.]
[gasping.]
Hey.
Hey.
Roxie.
Hey.
Mm.
[kisses.]
Mm.
[kisses.]
Thanks for meeting me.
So what's goin' on? Just -- just wanted to touch base, see if either of you have been contacted by the police.
III think that everyone just thinks that Jamie left town.
So far, no one suspects foul play.
It wasn't foul play.
It was self-defense.
Yeah, I don't know if a jury would agree with that.
What about Darryl? Have either of you heard from him yet? I'm glad he's gone.
I've been trying to I'm glad he's gone, too.
Honestly, I think that everything bad started to happen the day that guy showed up.
I know.
My life finally feels normal again.
So you guys haven't been Using our powers? No, not me.
Cold turkey.
Me, too.
No more angry earthquakes.
No more magically healing people until it almost kills me.
Yeah, I haven't had any psychic visions either.
It's been weirdly quiet in my head.
Aren't you relieved? I guess, although it was kind of cool for a minute, being all magical.
[chuckles.]
[sniffles.]
I gotta get to the hospital.
Yeah, II should probably go, too.
I'm meeting up with Penny.
She's been a wreck since Jamie.
Killing your best friend's boyfriend -- not cool.
- She's better off, trust me.
- You didn't tell Penny, did you? No, of course not.
I wouldn't tell anyone.
Me either.
We made a pact, and I'm sticking to it.
- So I guess this is good-bye again.
- For now.
[sighs.]
It was fun while it lasted.
[gasps.]
Oh, hey.
Hi.
How's it going? Um, so anyway, I was just dropping off another letter for Darryl.
Not sure he's getting any of these, but just in case I sure hope someone's forwarding his bills to him, because that kind of thing can really destroy a person's credit, although I'm sure he has really good credit -- or had, if he's still alive, which is all I'm really worried about, just so you know, 'cause I've checked every single hospital in a 50-mile radius every day for the past four weeks and all the morgues, and obviously I'm the only one who gives a crap, so -- - I give a crap.
You talk! II mean, you do? II mean, um, is he okay? One can only assume.
That's not much of an answer, Fidel.
No offense.
Psyched for the verbal response and all, but now that you're finally using your vocal cords, maybe you can give me something a little more specific.
- I'm without specifics.
So how do you know he's okay? Has he contacted you? He hasn't contacted you? I mean, what if he's lying dead in a ditch somewhere.
You know, the man was whacked over the head with an andiron, for God's sake.
You don't just walk away with an injury like that and check into a Ritz-Carlton.
Right, okay.
Uh, thanks for the heart-to-heart.
All right, my little noodle noggins, bath time! Let's go! Come on! Oh, looks like someone finally bought the termite house [man panting.]
Someone incredibly hot.
[indistinct conversations.]
Life sucks.
Couldn't agree more.
I finally find the perfect guy, you know? He's cute, and he's British and liked my toes.
He liked your toes? He said they were luscious.
So I ask you, what kind of man makes love to your toes and then just skips town? - A bad man.
- But he's not a bad man.
He's a nice man with an accent.
What is it with women and accents? You'll forgive anything if the guy sounds like Hugh Grant.
It's true.
I even forgave Hugh Grant.
So what are you saying -- that I shouldn't forgive Jamie? I'm saying you should see a shrink.
Or you could call your mom.
In fact, use my phone, if you promise just to take it outside.
No, thank you.
May I borrow another quarter, Jo-Jo? Yes, of course you can, sweetie.
Thank youJoanna.
Okay, she better not.
Shut up, Max.
And she did.
Hey! No tip? No.
No, not as long as you keep encouraging little Miss Misery over there.
You know what? Maybe a little bit of poverty will motivate you to action.
And what action would you like for me to take? She's your friend! Just -- just fix her.
[sighs.]
Mm.
Aren't you a sight for sore eyes? [gasps.]
Oh, my God.
It's good to see you.
You ass! Ow.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Mm.
But damn you! Mm.
Just like old times.
Where have you been, Darryl? I've been worried sick.
Well, we'll get to that, but if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to get my questions answered first.
It only seems fair, since you were the one who invited me to dinner and allowed your guest to crush my skull with a fireplace poker.
It took 28 stitches, by the way, and now my hair is growing back all weird.
Darryl, I hope you know I had nothing to do with that.
Ah, where is Mr.
Happy now? I would really like to catch up with him.
Uh, you want to know what happened to Jamie? Mm-hmm.
Well He told me you were evil and that I'd have to kill you.
He said that only someone like me, someone gifted like me, could do it.
Why is that, by the way? Hmm.
So what did you do? I refused.
We fought.
I won.
Itold him he had to leave town, told him if he ever messed with me and my girls again, he'd regret it.
- And he just left? Yep.
Went by his apartment the next day just to make sure and he was gone.
You went by yourself? I took a gun with me, but I didn't have to use it, 'cause when I got there, his apartment was completely cleaned out like he'd never been there at all.
He was justgone.
Huh.
Interesting.
And then what happened? I called the girls.
I told them what happened.
They came over, made sure I was okay.
We talked.
I cried.
And that was pretty much it.
[Roxie grunts.]
Why didn't you call the police? And tell them what -- we're a bunch of witches involved in a supernatural blood feud? And you're not worried about Jamie coming back? No.
I told you, he knows better than to mess with us again.
That's good.
I'm just so relieved you're okay.
- Mm.
Oh, hey, can I stay here tonight? I still have a number of enemies, and I don't want anyone to know that I'm back in Eastwick just yet.
- Of course.
You should absolutely stay here.
- Good.
- On the couch, obviously.
Not so good.
I'll go get those guest sheets.
[children shouting indistinctly.]
- Oh, my God.
He's back.
- Who's back? My future second husband.
His name is Colin.
His son Gene just enrolled in Erika's class, which means he's 10 or 11.
- Mm.
Dad is divorced, and his badunka dunk is off the charts.
[chuckles.]
You did not just say "badunka dunk.
" Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God! - Shh, shh, shh.
Oh, hey, hi.
- You, uh, you live across the street from us, don't you? - I do.
Yeah, um, II'm Kat.
And this is Barb and Karen.
[both, singsongy.]
Hi! Hi.
Uh, I'm Colin.
This is my son Gene.
Gene, say hi.
- Hi.
Can I go play now? - Yeah, sure.
I'll meet up with you in a sec.
Listen, I am so sorry that I haven't welcomed you into the neighborhood.
I'm usually really quick with the sugar cookies.
I actually would have introduced myself last night, but I thought it might be a little rude, seeing that I was shirtless and dripping in sweat.
Oh, all right.
[chuckles.]
All right, well, I should go get him settled in.
Ladies, it was very nice meeting you.
- Kat, I'm looking forward to those sugar cookies.
- Okay.
- Ohh.
- Ohh.
You lucky little witch.
Coast clear, or is there a blubbering redhead hiding around the corner somewhere? Your empathy is truly amazing.
I try.
Now how about you tear yourself away from your blog and get me a beer? I'm not blogging.
I'm setting up an online profile for Penny so she can meet a man.
Hello, action? It's Joanna, and I'm totally taking you.
I think the best way for Penny to get over that British creep -- is to set her up with an American creep.
Or an Italian creep.
[singsongy.]
Holla! Uh, no.
I ain't no hollaback girl.
And why are you taking all this on as if Penny getting dumped is your fault? - Because it is.
Sort of, in the way that best friends often feel responsible for each other.
But this plan is totally gonna work.
- So shut your face hole and high-five me.
- This plan is totally gonna take forever, And you've got better things to do.
I mean, you've got a bar.
You've got a blog.
You've got a life.
Eh, you got a bar and a blog, anyway.
And apparently a life coach, thank you very much.
If you're determined to find Penny a man, we're gonna have to do it the old-fashioned way.
I say we hit the streets, talk to the fellas.
- "We"? You're gonna need a wingman.
I happen to be available.
- Yeah? What's in it for you? - I just want my bar back, that's all.
If I enjoyed listening to the sound of a woman crying every day, I'd have stayed in my last relationship.
Wow, you are just one fuzzy little bunny, aren't you? [gasps.]
Okay, upsy-daisy! Rise and shine! Put some clothes on! What time is it? Almost noon.
Time for pants.
P.
S.
, how about not sleeping naked when I have a 15-year-old daughter who could walk in at any minute? You said Mia was staying with her grandmother this weekend.
Yeah, so? Doesn't mean I'm running a nudistolony here.
[laughs.]
hey, I have a fabulous idea.
What say we call the ladies and organize one of your famous martini nights? I'll call the girls, put together a martini night, ease them into things.
Why don't you give me a week or so to get their heads in the right place, and then you can mysteriously reappear and tell us everything? You trust me? I wouldn't go that far, but I know there's more to the story, and I'd like to hear your side of things.
- That means a lot to me, Roxie.
- Well, it's a two-way street.
How so? You could have shown up at any one of our doorsteps, but you chose to show up at mine, even though I'm the one that put you in danger.
- Ah, it's true.
I did.
- Why did you do that? Well, I suppose I missed you.
You did? Mm.
More than I ever thought possible.
Well, that's Oh, boy.
Mm.
Mm.
[beep.]
Hey, Rox, it's me.
Um, I'm running a little late, so do not dish before I get there, okay? Um, and, uh, I'm really glad we're doing this.
You're right.
I think we've kept our distance long enough.
Okay, see you in a few.
[beep.]
[gasps.]
Hi.
Your front door was open.
Can your kids come out and play? Uh, no, no.
They're at their Dad's tonight.
Oh.
Oh, okay.
Bye.
Whee! [gasps.]
[laughs.]
Roxie! Sorry.
I just flashed my hoochie to a 11-year-old boy.
- What? - What? Well, technically, my hoochie was walked in on [singsong voice.]
but, uh, yeah, he still saw it.
[laughs.]
[normal voice.]
Okay, so the question is, now can I still get naked with his dad, A.
K.
A.
my new hot neighbor? Or would that be, like, too weird for words? Of course not.
Just tell the kid to report to his dad how good the goods were.
If anything, it could move things along quicker.
- Gross.
Really gross.
- I know! [singsong voice.]
God, I miss you guys.
So not to kill the buzz or anything, but I do want to talk about Darryl.
[both grunt.]
Just hear me out for two conds.
I'm worried about him.
II know there's a lot of stuff we don't know, and some of it seems pretty suspicious.
- Extremely suspicious.
But just because there are missing pieces to the puzzle doesn't mean we should believe everything Eleanor and Bun are telling us.
They're the ones who tried to have us killed, and you know, maybe we should wait to judge him before we know all the facts.
- Okay.
I think we should do that.
Well, it doesn't really matter.
I mean, it's not like he's ever gonna -- Did someone here order champagne? Oh, my God.
Darryl! What are you doing here? Yeah, Darryl, what are you doing here? And more to the point, where the hell have you been? I'm sure you all have questions for me.
[glasses clink.]
Good news -- I have answers.
But I would like to start at the beginning, if I might.
Four months ago, I was summoned to Eastwick.
The three of you came together, and you made a wish, each of you looking for inspiration.
[pop.]
You sent out a call.
I heard that call.
How? I am attuned to gifted women like yourselves.
I know your thoughts.
I know your desires.
[pouring champagne.]
I know your potential.
That is my gift.
My purpose is to inspire, to facilitate.
You can think of me as your very own personal muse.
Your call went out, and I answered.
But it wasn't the first time.
25 years ago, I was also summoned.
Two of the women you already know -- Bun and Eleanor.
The third was named Gloria, and my name was Sebastian Hart.
[Joanna.]
: I knew it! When I arrived, they welcomed me.
They welcomed the awakening of their gifts.
It was impossible for us to deny the attraction we all felt.
We were young.
We were wild.
It was torrid.
[Roxie.]
: It was the '80s.
But we were too reckless.
We made mistakes.
We made enemies, and people around us started to die.
As the chaos set in, Gloria -- she was the first to change.
- [crying.]
: Go away! - She became paranoid - Don't come near me! - convinced that I was the cause of the chaos - Make it stop.
- that I was the enemy And suddenly one day, she just disappeared.
She was gone for almost a year -- Nine months, to be exact.
She was pregnant.
With Jamie.
Only I had no idea.
- [pounding on door.]
- When she returned, she was a shell of the woman she was before.
- [screaming indistinctly.]
- You lied to me! - She seemed demented, shattered, enraged.
I had no idea about the child, but the Gloria I had known and loved was gone.
And a week later, I I found a suicide note by my bedside table.
She poisoned herself [voice breaking.]
and she had carved the word "witch" in her own forehead and collapsed in the town square.
Oh, my God.
It was gruesome.
Bun and Eleanor blamed me for her death, insisting I was the cause of her mental decline, which, of course, was ludicrous.
I was no more responsible for what happened to Gloria than they were, but they didn't see it that way.
They united their powers, and they tried to kill me.
- With the tea! In the bay.
Eleanor created an electrical storm, and the two of them left me for dead in the raging waters.
I managed to swim to safety, but I never returned.
I needed them to believe that they'd succeeded.
You thought if they knew you were alive, they'd come after you.
- Yeah.
That's why I changed my name.
That's a lot to take in, Darryl.
I know, and I understand if you need to check the facts.
I lied before because I didn't feel that I was safe.
Unfortunately, I'm still not, but it's more important that you trust me.
And I'll deal with Jamie.
What? [clears throat.]
[Kat.]
: Um You don't have to worry about Jamie anymore, Darryl.
He's dead.
How do you know he's dead? Because we killed him.
[gasps.]
Wh -- Why did you lie to me? When did she lie to you? You just got here.
You didn't Just get here.
You knew he was back! Well, I, um So that's why you called this martini night -- so you could manipulate us? - Look, I can explain -- I wasn't trying to manipulate you.
- You're sleeping with each other! OhmyGod! Wait, wait, you guys.
Wait, please.
Please, just listen to me.
No, no, no.
You bring us here and tell us this whole story supposedly to our trust, and the whole time you're lying to our faces? How are we supposed to believe anything you have to say to us? Wait, you guys, I didn't know any of this stuff.
I'm hearing it for the first time, just like you.
- My ass! Let's go, Kat.
- Yeah.
Happy, genius? [chuckles.]
Damn.
That's the fifth married guy we've seen so far.
There's a reason that I am single, my friend.
This town is a wasteland.
- For you, maybe.
The odds are definitely stacked in my favor, though.
The odds are always stacked in men's favor.
That's why we hate you.
Oh, you don't hate men.
You got some spunk in your trunk, that's for sure, but you -- you're not bitter.
Now Penny, on the other hand -- is heartbroken, - Something obviously you've never experienced.
- You don't think I've ever been in love? [chuckles.]
You don't think I know what it's like to wake up with that cold ache in the middle of your belly that hurts so much that you actually convince yourself you might be dying, because it's the only possible way a human being could feel this sick, cold and empty? What was her name? - Alicia.
- And how long? - Ten months ago.
- Mm.
That's all I'm gonna say about that right now.
Okay.
Oh, hey! Okay, see that trucker hat guy right there? Yeah? His name isDon, and he used to deliver the water at the "Gazette," and if I'm not mistaken, he had a thing for Penny! I can't believe I forgot about water man Don.
[laughs.]
Hi Neighbor.
Hey, how's it goin'? Uh, it's going good, except, um, Gene[chuckles.]
Uh, he, uh, he came over to play with my kids, and he let himself in [singsong voice.]
and kind of saw me coming out of the shower.
- Whoa, whoa.
He let himself in? - [normal voice.]
Oh, no, yeah.
It's okay.
I just wanted you to know because of the nudity and whatnot.
- The nudity doesn't bother me as much as the breaking and entering part.
- Do you want me to talk to him, or -- - No, no, no.
That's -- that's okay.
I'm sure he won't do it again.
It's probably just as embarrassing for him as it was for me.
[chuckles.]
Well, maybe not just as embarrassing, but -- [Boy.]
: Get off! - What the hell? - You get off! Get off of me! - No! Come here! - Oh, no.
Yeah, that's Elliot, the playground bully.
Hey, get off! What the hell do you think you're doing, you little snot? - Get off me! Mom! You think it's fun to mess with somebody half your size -- - Mom! - Get your hands off my child! Are you insane? - Why don't you tell your kid to stop acting like a little jerk? What in the world is wrong with you? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with him? - Get him outta here.
He's a monster! - How dare you speak to us like that? Joanna, you are not gonna believe what just happened.
[glasses clink.]
Do you remember Don Dixby? Don Dixby Yeah, yeah, come on.
Water man Don.
He used to leave a case of sparkling lime under my desk every month? - Oh, right.
Yeah.
He just called me up and asked me out on a date.
- How insane is that? - I don't think it's insane.
You're a beautiful single girl, and -- and he's just a shy guy.
- He was probably too nervous to ask you out until now.
- Yeah, I guess.
Hmm.
- So when are you gonna go out? - Oh, we're not.
Why? Why not? What are you talking about? Hello? I am way too fragile to go on a date right now.
Okay, so, um, you should make it aa double date.
- Never mind.
You know what? Let's just forget it.
- Penny.
No.
I don't want to go anyway.
I'd rather stay home and watch "Philadelphia Story" again with you anyway.
- No.
You're going.
- Joanna -- - I will find a date.
- Joanna -- - We're going.
[whirring.]
Well, this is fun.
- Shut up! - Oh, that's the first two words you've spoken to me all day.
I'll take them.
[turns off vacuum.]
Don't do that, Darryl.
I'm really mad.
The girls won't call me back, and I don't blame them.
- If they never trust me again, it's all your fault.
- Look, if you hadn't lied to me about killing Jamie, we might not be in this situation.
- I had to lie to you.
The girls and I made a pact.
It's different.
You're right.
Say that again.
You're right.
It is different.
And I'm sorry.
I should have listened to you.
Well, yeah.
You should've.
[chuckles.]
[chuckles.]
I forgive you.
And I'm sure, in time, the girls will forgive me.
But will they forgive me? We'll just have to wait and see.
That's just it.
I can't wait.
What do you mean? [sighs.]
I have no reason for staying here anymore.
I came because the three of you needed me and wanted me.
And nowI have no purpose.
So Are you a person? - Yes, I am a person.
- Are you a person? I'm sorry.
Just the whole "You're a muse, "we're your purpose, you can't die unless I kill you "with some weird-ass dagger -- " Yeah, Roxie, I am a person.
I'm just not a normalone.
You can say that again.
And I can't stay here.
But I don't have to leave alone.
What? Come with me.
You and me are both being stifled in this small town, and you were meant for bigger and better things.
You know that.
We could move anywhere.
We could explore the world together as a family.
I don't know what to say.
Don't say anything yet.
Just think about it.
[knock on door.]
I overreacted, didn't I? Yes, you kinda did.
I thought so.
You took off pretty quick this afternoon.
Well, I, uh, try to keep my kids away from fighting as much as possible.
They got enough of that when Ray and I were splitting up.
- Ray is your ex-husband? - Yep.
Also a bit of a temper.
I know how it must have looked, and I feel horrible.
I've never been a playground dad before, and watching another kid pick on my boy, it it turned me into someone I didn't recognize.
You really have never taken Gene to the park before? No.
Ellen and I -- that's my wife -- We had a pretty traditional marriage.
I worked.
She stayed at home and raised Gene.
Well, maybe that's why Ellen left.
She probably got tired of being the 1950s housewife.
Ellen passed away a year ago.
Oh, my God.
Oh, I am - I am so sorry.
Um, II -- - Don't be.
It's -- it's okay.
I heard that -- that is, I thought -- - It's okay.
Don't worry.
- No, I feel terrible.
Don't.
Please.
I Would you like to come in? Um, I can -- I can whip up some of those sugar cookies.
Yeah.
[chuckles.]
[Bossa Nova music playing.]
Your arms must be really buff, Don.
From carrying all the water.
Those -- those bottles are so heavy, huh? They're unwieldy, even.
I, too, have difficulty wielding those bottles.
Yeah.
You get used to it.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
You okay? Jamie loved water.
Oh, here we go.
- Who's Jamie? - Nobody.
- My ex-boyfriend.
- Man, this steak is off the chain! Who wants a bite? You know, we weren't together that long.
It's just that it was a really special relationship.
Special in that you didn't really know each other, and that didn't seem to bother you, so I'll take a bite.
Of course I knew him.
No, you didn't.
You guys had sex.
Great sex! Fine! Great sex! But that's not enough to build a relationship on, Penny, and the guy could have been a serial killer for all you know! - Oh, thanks.
That's nice, comparing my ex-boyfriend to a serial killer.
- Try the sauce, man.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I just think that you are wasting your time obsessing over Jamie.
He doesn't deserve it, and it's a little much already, Penny.
I mean, it's not like you guys were engaged or anything.
- Oh, okay.
Yeah, let's do it.
Let's all take a dip in Lake Joanna.
I'm sorry that I wasn't proposed to and then left at the altar.
Ooh! You -- you got left at the altar? I proposed to three women.
They all said no.
And I'm leaving.
Penny, no.
Wait.
Wait! You've just been pitying me this whole time, like this whole thing is some big joke to you.
Well, it's not -- Not to me.
[knock on door.]
You gave the help the night off? Fidel is out gathering boxes.
Moving is Oh, it's such a pain.
Maybe you shouldn't move.
Maybe you should come with me.
I'm sorry, but I can't.
Why not? I can't leave my girls.
I thought you were having a fight.
We are, but it'll pass.
Kat and Joanna and I -- we're connected.
You're my muse, but Mm.
So are they.
I don't know if things will ever go back to the way they were before, but I do know that if I leave, we don't stand a chance.
You miss your powers.
I do.
Even before you got here, I felt different, and being with Kat and Joanna, for the first time, different didn't feel bad or weird.
It just felt right.
I don't know what it all means, but it's important for me to find out.
And I can't do that if I leave Eastwick.
Good-bye, Darryl.
I know Penny.
She's never gonna forgive me, which is good for you, I guess.
- How is it good for me? Well, you got your bar back, right? That's what you wanted.
So mission accomplished.
Congrats.
That's not the only reason I did this, Joanna.
It's not? Unh-unh.
II may have had some otherreasons.
What kind of other reasons? You know.
[cell phone ringing.]
Mnh-mnh.
Mnh-mnh.
Let it go to voice mail.
Let it go to voice mail! It could be Penny.
It could be Penny.
[sighs.]
[beep.]
Oh, that's weird.
Mm? Hello? Uh-huh.
Yes.
Really? Okay! - Okay.
- What? Okay.
That was Clyde, and, um, I just got my job back at the "Gazette.
" - No kidding! - Yeah.
That, uh, that sounds like a reason to celebrate.
Mm, mm.
Oh, I should really get home, you know? I have to -- I have to get some sleep.
- Mm-hmm.
- Tomorrow's a very big day.
- Yeah.
- I'll see you at work.
- I guess you will.
I'm so happy I have to pee! [laughs.]
Everything is back on track with Joanna, and the Penny problem has been resolved.
Yeah.
I'll call you when I know more.
[creak.]
And here I thought Ray and I were the last married people on Earth to go to Prom together.
I can actually do you one better.
Ellen and I met at summer camp, and when we played Red Rover, I would send Ellen right over.
- [laughs.]
- [knock on door.]
Oh.
I swear, I'm usually not this popular, especially at night.
[Darryl.]
: Hi.
Ah.
Am I interrupting something? Actually, yeah.
No, no.
I was actually on my way home.
Oh, no, no, no.
You don't have to go.
- It's okay.
I told Gene he could play video games until I got home, so he's probably a zombie by now.
Good-lookin' guy.
What do you want, Darryl? I came to say good-bye.
You're leaving? I think it's for the best, don't you? Anyway, I need to ask you for a small favor.
I need you to look after Roxie for a bit.
I have a feeling she needs a friend.
And you, dear Kat, you are one of the best friends that I've had the privilege to know.
[door closes.]
Who's the guy in the suit? I'm not sure.
I figured it was her ex-husband.
I don't think so.
I did research on the ex, and he doesn't seem like the type to have a limo.
Yeah, well, she didn't introduce me -- So you introduce yourself, Colin! I'm sorry.
I didn't think -- You never think.
That's your problem.
I have to do all the thinking for you! - I'm sorry.
- Forget it! What happened with the girl? Did you smooth things over? Everything seems to be fine.
She's very sweet, in fact.
Good.
I was counting on that.
[knock on door.]
[sighs.]
I'm feeling sheepish.
No.
I'm a terrible friend.
Oh, no.
So, um, I heard you got your job back.
Wow, news travels fast.
How'd you hear? Oh, Clyde sent everyone an e-mail saying that we had to be particularly nice to you per a Mr.
Darryl van Horne's request.
Wait.
Darryl got me my job back? Wow.
Guess maybe Darryl isn't such a bad guy after all.
Yeah, if you say so.
But anyway, you know, congratulations.
So is that why you came over? Because Clyde said you had to be nice to me? Nah.
I was going to apologize anyway.
I just figured it would be better to do it here than at the office.
- I'm the one who really needs to apologize, Penny.
I never should have said those things.
I'm so sorry.
No, no.
You were right.
I needed to hear them.
I was obsessing, and I want you to know that I am so over Jamie - Dalton.
- Dalton -- so over him.
So good-bye, Jamie Dalton, and thank you for the memories.
[imitates spitting.]
And, um, I think I'm gonna call water man Don and apologize for my appalling behavior.
- I'm borrowing this.
- Okay.
Okay.
[cell phone rings.]
[beep.]
You guys didn't have to come over here.
I'm fine.
You're not fine.
You're sad, which does not automatically mean we forgive you for lying to us.
- But we want to help you, because that's what friends are for.
- Mm.
I don't even know why I'm so sad.
It's not like there was anything going on with me and Darryl.
I mean, I guess there was.
- There definitely was.
- There definitely was.
Okay, fine, but we didn't even sleep together until yesterday.
How was that, by the way? Awesome, but not exactly what I thought it would be either.
- How do you mean? - I don't know.
I guess I thought that once we finally did the deed, I wouldn't be curious anymore, and the whole thing would be over, but it wasn't.
It felt more like a beginning.
[sighs.]
That sounds stupid, right? No, that doesn't sound stupid to me.
Sounds like you have real feelings for Darryl van Horne.
Uh-huh.
Oh, please.
How could anyone have real feelings for Darryl van Horne? He's so -- he's so -- Perfect for you? [laughs.]
Okay, now I'm sad.
I still don't understand why he has to leave.
There's no reason for him to stay here without the three of us -- - Requiring a muse.
But if we got the band back together then he might stay? No, forget it.
You guys made it perfectly clear how you feel about your powers.
- Well, you know, now that I have my job back at the "Gazette," my powers might come in handy.
Uh, w -- you got your job back? Thanks to Darryl.
That muse is a real mensch.
Look, he has brought a lot of drama into our lives, but it wasn't all bad.
Some of it was actually kind offun.
Yeah, it really was, wasn't it? So wait, what are we saying? Call your new boyfriend.
Tell him to cancel the moving truck.