Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999) s01e12 Episode Script

A Glass of Warm Ed/Flea-Bitten Ed

1
BRRRRRR!
[SNORING]
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]
[SHIVERING AND TEETH CHATTERING]
[CREAKING]
[GLASS BREAKING]
HMMM?
[STAIRS CREAKING]
[EATING LOUDLY]
OH, DEAR, AN INTRUDER,
EATING ALL THE FOOD
OUT OF MY REFRIGERATOR
IN BARE FEET!
SO UNSANITARY.
HUH?
I'VE GOT A CACTUS!
UH
AAAAH!
ED?
YOU PRACTICALLY SCARED ME
OUT OF MY ONE-SIZE-
FITS-ALL PAJAMAS.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?
[YAWNING]
[BELCHES]
UM, ED?
D-DON'T MAKE ME USE THIS!
YOU ATE JIM.
ED, CACTI HAVE
FEELINGS JUST LIKE YOU
[GASP]
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, MR. ED.
STOP!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING
WITH ALL MY FOOD?
ED, THEY'LL SPOIL!
[GASPS]
HUH?
ED, COME BACK HERE
AND CLOSE THIS
REFRIGERATOR DOOR!
ED!
I NEED TO WAKE EDDY.
OH, DEAR, A PARADOX.
[PANTING AND WHIMPERING]
UH EDDY EDDY.
OH EDDY, ARE YOU AWAKE?
[EDDY GROANS]
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.
IT'S ED.
WHO TURNED OFF THE SUN?
GOOD, YOU'RE AWAKE.
WE HAVE A PROBLEM, EDDY.
ED WAS IN MY HOUSE, MY
KITCHEN, MY REFRIGERATOR.
NOT THAT IT'S ANY DIFFEREN
FROM ANY OTHER DAY,
BUT, WELL, IT WAS LATE, YOU SEE,
AND I USUALLY LIKE TO
GET 8 HOURS OF SLEEP,
BUT ED WAS EATING, HAS EATEN,
HAS TAKEN ALL MY FOOD.
I ASKED HIM, TALKED TO
HIM, BUT NO REACTION.
HE JUST KEPT EATING.
DO YOU HEAR ME, EDDY?
ED IS SLEEPWALKING.
[YAWNS LOUDLY]
HUH? HUH?
WHAT'S HE DOING
WITH ALL MY FOOD?
ED IS LIKE A SWARM OF LOCUSTS
READY TO PURGE THE CUL-DE-SAC
AND ALL ITS GOOD
PEOPLE OF THEIR FOOD.
YOU KNOW, YOU SCARE ME
WHEN YOU TALK LIKE THAT.
LET'S GO SEE WHA
BIG ED'S UP TO.
[SARAH SNORING]
MMM
[COYOTE HOWLS]
[GROWLS]
[CAT SCREAMS]
WHOO-HOO-HOO!
MAN, TELL ME I WASN'T DREAMING!
HE SCARFED THE WHOLE FRIDGE.
HA! HA! HA!
SHHH.
[SNICKERING]
AAAH [COW MOOS]
I HOPE HE DOESN'T WAKE JIMMY.
THIS IS NOT GOOD.
THIS IS RICH, DOUBLE-D.
HAVE A SEAT, FRONT ROW CENTER,
TO THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH.
ARE YOU GOING TO SHARE THOSE?
THAT WAS VERY GOOD.
I CAN'T FIGURE OU
WHERE HE'S PUTTING IT ALL.
[LOUD BANG]
Eddy: WHERE DID HE GO?
EGADS! WHAT IS
THAT HIDEOUS ODOR?
SANTA?
DO YOU THINK ED
SWALLOWED HIMSELF?
Jimmy: HELP!
HELP!
SALIVA, YUCK! GERMS!
EW!
GOOD THING I'M A
MAN OF THE WORLD.
I'M TERRIFIED BEYOND
RATIONAL THOUGHT.
I CAN'T LOOK!
[TEETH CHATTERING]
HE SPIT JIMMY BACK OUT!
PHEW.
LET'S GO! I DON'T WANT TO
MISS ED GETTING HEARTBURN.
LOOK AT ALL THIS!
ED MUST HAVE BILKED THE WHOLE
NEIGHBORHOOD OF ITS FOOD.
MESSY, MESSY.
SLEEPWALKING AND EATING
EVERYONE'S FOOD IS ONE THING,
BUT LITTERING!
CHECK IT OUT, DOUBLE-D! WOO!
ED ATE A WHOLE
BOX OF BRAN MUFFINS.
THIS COULD BE DANGEROUS, EDDY.
OH, YEAH
THIS MESS SHOULD
LEAD US RIGHT TO HIM.
BINGO!
A-HA!
GOTCHA!
WHOA!
YAAAA!
AAAH!
CAREFUL, EDDY.
HUH? FINDERS KEEPERS!
UM, EDDY.
WHAT?
[MUFFLED LAUGHTER]
[ED SNORING]
HA! HA! HA! HA!
ED SEEMS QUITE CONTEN
AMONG ALL THAT FOOD.
YEAH, LIKE A BEACHED WHALE.
HE LOOKS SO NATURAL.
OH, ED ED WAKE
UP, GOLDILOCKS!
HUH? HI, GUYS.
ED, DID YOU KNOW THA
YOU WALK IN YOUR SLEEP,
AND THAT YOU HAVE
CONSUMED ALL THE FOOD
WITHIN A 5-BLOCK
RADIUS OF YOUR BED?
NOT ONLY THAT, BUT I FEEL AS
THOUGH I CONSUMED ALL THE FOOD
WITHIN A 5-BLOCK
RADIUS OF MY BED.
HUH?
OH, JIM GOT A HAIRCUT.
DON'T YOU REMEMBER ANYTHING, ED?
YOU WERE GREAT! YOU
EVERYTHING, INCLUDING JIMMY.
OH, NO! JIMMY! DON'T TELL SARAH!
GUYS, HELP ME!
Eddy: DON'T WORRY, WE'RE
GOING TO SLEEP OVER,
SO WE CAN KEEP
AN EYE OUT FOR YOU.
GOT ANY EXTRA BLANKETS AAAH!
[STOMACH RUMBLING]
COME ON, JIMMY. TIME FOR BED.
[ALL SNORING]
[GLASS BREAKING]
AAAH!
EDDY, ED'S WALKING
IN HIS SLEEP AGAIN.
MMM
Sarah: ED!
ED! SHUT UP!
[BELL RINGS]
HOW CAN HE BE SO BIG AND QUICK?
HE'S HOPPING THE FENCE, EDDY!
[ED LAUGHING]
ED!
WHOO! HA! HA! THAT-A-BOY, ED!
OH, THAT BIG LUG'S
CRACKING ME UP.
I THINK I KNOW HOW
TO LURE HIM BACK.
WHY?
[SNIFFING]
THE FAMILIAR SCENT OF
ONE'S PERSONAL BELONGINGS
ALWAYS MAKES ONE LONG FOR
THEIR NATURAL ENVIRONMENT.
YOU MUST BE A RIO
AT PARTIES, DOUBLE-D.
I GOT HIM! I GOT HIM!
MY, ED'S GROWN.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
AAAAH!
I BELIEVE ED ISN'
GOING ANYWHERE.
WE GOT HIM RIGH
WHERE WE WANT HIM.
[ROOSTER CROWS]
[WHIMPERING]
HOLY MACKEREL!
WHERE'S ALL MY FOOD?
YUMMY! COOKIES!
AWW MY TUMMY NEEDS FOOD.
Eddy: FRESH FOOD! CHEAP PRICES!
GET YOUR GROCERIES AT ED'S MART!
Jonny: HURRY, PLANK! WE
NEED TO FILL THAT TUMMY.
OOOH! AND MINE, TOO.
Eddy: WE'VE GOT ALL YOUR
FAVORITE FOOD HERE AT ED'S MART.
GET IT WHILE IT'S HOT, FOLKS.
NO ONE CAN BEAT OUR
PRICES AT ED'S MART.
ALL YOUR FAVORITE
FOOD HERE AT ED'S MART!
[JONNY GRUNTING]
GOOD MORNING, JONNY BOY.
WHAT CAN I GET YOU?
EDDY, YOU WOULDN'
HAPPEN TO HAVE
YOUR CHUNKY PUFFS
I MEAN, YOUR FAVORITE,
CHUNKY PUFFS? SURE!
THAT'LL BE 50 CENTS.
[SNICKERS]
HE'S, UH, JUS
CHECKING OUR INVENTORY
AND WILL BE BACK MOMENTARILY.
CHUNKY PUFFS, CHUNKY
PUFFS, CHUNKY PUFFS,
HMMM NO.
[COW MOOS]
OOP! THAT AIN'T IT.
HMM A-HA!
HERE WE GO.
HERE YOU GO, JONNY.
I LOVE CHUNKY PUFFS.
WOULD YOU LIKE MILK WITH THAT?
CAN'T EAT CEREAL WITHOUT MILK.
[GAGGING]
HAMMER A NAIL.
HAMMER A NAIL. HAMMER A NAIL.
HOW'S IT LOOK, EDDY?
OOOH!
[ED LAUGHING]
ED, YOU PUT THE
SIGN ON UPSIDE DOWN.
NO. I PUT THE SIGN
ON THE GARAGE.
JUST FLIP IT OVER, ED.
Ed: FLIP IT? GOT IT.
I THINK I'M READY
TO TACKLE ANYTHING
WITH MY FINE ASSORTMEN
OF SHORT AND LONG,
HARD- AND SOFT-HAIRED BRUSHES.
[CRASHING]
HUH? [CRASHING]
Ed: I FLIPPED IT, EDDY.
WELL, I CAN READ IT.
ED'S PET BOUTIQUE
IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS.
Ed: WHOA! HA! HA!
[HORSE WHINNIES]
ROLF'S GOT TONS
OF STINKY ANIMALS.
THEY'RE ABSOLUTELY FILTHY.
YES, I AM.
GOOD-BYE.
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
HA! HA! OH, HO!
HELLO, SNEAKY ED-BOYS.
I AM MUCH TOO BUSY MAKING
SHOES FOR MY CHICKENS,
SO NO TIME FOR ROLF
TO TALK. WORK IS GOOD.
AS GOOD AS A STOMACH
FULL OF MAMA'S COOKED FOOD,
BUT YOU WOULD NO
KNOW THIS. GOOD-BYE.
WE'RE HERE TO ASSIS
YOU ROLF IN ANY
YOU GOT A LOT OF DIRTY
ANIMALS THERE, ROLF,
AND WE HAVE THE ONLY PET CLEANING
SERVICE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
I PUT UP THE SIGN.
SO, FOR A LITTLE GREEN,
WE'LL MAKE YOUR DIRT-STAINED,
FLEA-INFESTED ANIMALS CLEAN.
FLEA-INFESTED?
YOU MUST BE POKING MY EGGPLANTS.
THAT WOULD GIVE ME MORE
TIME TO WATCH THE CURD RISE
FROM THE CHEESE OF
MY GRANDFATHER'S VATS.
OK, ED-BOYS.
[CHICKENS CLUCKING]
Edd: ONE, TWO, REST.
ONE, TWO, REST. ONE, TWO, REST.
ONE, TWO
OH, A CHICKEN SHOWER.
CLUCK, CLUCK, CLUCK
ED, LET THE CHICKENS
BATHE IN PRIVACY.
YOU'RE EMBARRASSING THEM.
OOPS, SORRY.
OOPS, SORRY.
I WON'T TELL, OK?
WHOA!
SORRY. SORRY!
I PROMISE I WON'T LOOK.
WHO'S THAT GOOD-LOOKING GUY?
[PIG SQUEALS]
LOOK AT THOSE DIR
SPOTS. THEY'RE HUGE.
HA HA HA.
HUH? HUH?
[COW MOOING LOUDLY]
[GRUNTING]
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, BOYS.
HUH?
[GRUNTING]
I THINK THEY'RE
PAINTED ON, EDDY.
EDDY, DON'T YOU THINK THIS WOULD
BE A GOOD TIME TO WASH VICTOR?
THE GOAT? YEAH, YEAH.
YOU'RE WORSE THAN MY MOTHER.
HA! HA!
[GOAT BLEATS]
Eddy: HA! HA! HA!
DOUBLE-D, WHERE'S THE EYELINER?
WHY IN THE WORLD
WOULD YOU NEED EYE
[GASPS]
LINER!
OK, ED, I THINK THE
COW IS CLEAN NOW,
BUT THOSE POOR RABBITS HAVE
BEEN CALLING FOR YOU ALL DAY.
THOSE AREN'T RABBITS,
THOSE ARE BUNNIES.
AW, LOOK.
HELLO, MR. AND MRS. BUNNY.
TIME FOR A BATH.
AW, BUNNIES ARE SO
FURRY AND SO SOFT.
HUH?
HA HA HA.
[TOILET FLUSHES]
AH AH AH!
ACHOO!
HA! HA! HA!
DOUBLE-D, HOW MANY BUNNIES
WAS I SUPPOSED TO CLEAN?
TWO, ED.
OK.
I'M STUMPED.
[SNIFFS]
AH AH ACHOO!
ED, ARE YOU CATCHING A COLD?
COLDS ARE VERY CONTAGIOUS,
AND I'D BE SO PEEVED
IF I CAUGHT YOUR COLD.
I FEEL FUNNY.
AH AH
ACHOO!
I SNEEZED.
[GASP] I'M MUTATING!
OH! AH! AAH!
EDDY, ED IS SHOWING
STRANGE SYMPTOMS.
I'M CONCERNED.
I'VE BEEN CONCERNED ABOU
ED FROM THE FIRST DAY I MET HIM.
AAAAAH! OH!
UM, EDDY WHAT? ARE WE DONE?
LOOK!
HELP! I AM A BLIMP!
ED, YOU MANIAC, GE
DOWN FROM THERE.
HELP ME, GUYS! I AM SO ITCHY.
LET'S POKE A HOLE IN
HIM AND LET THE AIR OUT.
Ed: STILL ITCHY.
THE PRESSURE COULD
CAUSE HIM TO EXPLODE.
I'M ITCHY.
COME ON, GUYS!
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
HERE I COME, BUTTERBALL.
HIGHER, DOUBLE-D.
AH AH I GO
HIM! I GOT HIM!
ACHOO!
I CAN'T HOLD YOU
MUCH LONGER, EDDY.
MY ARMS ARE ABOUT TO GIVE
WAY TO YOUR GREAT WEIGHT.
OH, THE INSANITY!
Eddy: DOUBLE-D!
AAAAH!
Eddy: HEEELLLP!
OK, OK, OH DEAR.
PHYSICAL ACTIVITY.
WE'RE ABOUT TO MAKE CONTACT.
WHOA! LOOK AT ME!
I'M A PIGEON A BIG PIGEON.
DON'T LAY AN EGG, BIRDBRAIN.
AAAAH!
[GRUNTING]
I'M A SWAN, A PRETTY SWAN.
WE GOTTA FIGURE OU
WHAT'S WRONG WITH BLOAT BOY.
Eddy: BINGO.
THIS OUGHT TO HOLD YOU.
ALL SET, DOUBLE-D.
SAY IT. SAY IT.
PAGING DR. DOUBLE-D, EMERGENCY.
PAGING THE HEAD OF SURGERY
WITH ALL THE TOP DEGREES
TO THE LIVING ROOM STAT.
THAT WAS GOOD, EDDY.
WHATEVER.
HMM INTERESTING.
OH, THIS IS VERY STRANGE.
I GOT A DART STUCK TO MY HEAD.
SAY, "AHH," PLEASE.
AHHHH, PLEASE.
FLASHLIGHT, PLEASE.
EDDY, YOU'RE NO
PAYING ATTENTION.
FLASHLIGHT, PLEASE.
OH, YEAH, FLASHLIGHT.
FLASHLIGHT.
THANK YOU, NURSE.
NURSE?
NURSE EDDY? HA! HA! HA!
[GULP]
Edd: CLOSE, PLEASE.
LIGHTS, PLEASE, NURSE.
GRRR.
Edd: HMMM LIGHTS, PLEASE.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH
ME, DR. SURGEON HEAD?
JUST ONE MORE TEST.
OH, LOOK, IT'S A
BUNN AH AH AH
HE'S GONNA BLOW!
RUN FOR IT!
ACHOO!
UH, ED? OH, MY!
DOUBLE-DOCTOR-D?
YOU APPEAR TO BE
ALLERGIC TO RABBITS, ED.
SO NOW WHAT,
DR. DOUBLE-MEAT-PATTY?
WE'LL HAVE TO TREA
HIM IMMEDIATELY, EDDY.
SCRATCH ME. I'M ITCHY.
HA! HA! HA! HA!
Edd: WE'LL HAVE YOU BACK
TO NORMAL IN NO TIME, ED.
MMM, GRAVY!
MORE COLD CREAM, EDDY!
COMING RIGHT UP, DR. DOUBLEMINT.
OH, THAT'S REAL GOOD, EDDY.
THAT SHOULD REALLY
EWWWW SHOUT IF YOU NEED MORE.
GUYS! I AM STILL ITCHY.
UH, MY MOM ALWAYS USES
TALCUM POWDER FOR ITCHING.
EDDY, COULD YOU PLEASE FILL
THE TALCUM POWDER DISPENSER?
YEAH, YEAH, BUT YOU
BETTER NOT CALL ME NURSE.
THANK YOU, EDDY.
THAT'S GOING TO TAKE FOREVER!
YES, BUT IT WILL PROVIDE
AN EVEN, EQUAL DISTRIBUTION.
TIME IS MONEY, DOUBLE-D,
AND I LOVE MONEY.
EDDDDYYY!
I SMELL PRETTY.
HOW COME I'M STILL BIG, GUYS?
HMMM ICE SHOULD
REDUCE THE SWELLING.
BINGO, SOCK-HEAD.
WOOO!
THIS ICE BAG SHOULD DO IT.
AND WITH MY MODIFICATIONS
TO THIS REFRIGERATOR,
WE'LL HAVE PLENTY OF ICE.
[BEEP]
[GRUNTING]
YOU'LL BE BACK TO YOUR
GRUESOME SELF IN NO TIME, ED.
WHATEVER YOU SAY, EDDY.
ALL RIGHT, DOUBLE-D,
HOLD IT! STOP! GIVE IT UP!
ENOUGH WITH THE ICE ALREADY!
I'VE SEEMED TO MISCALCULATE CUBIC
G-VELOCITY THROUGH A CIRCULAR EXTENSION.
DOUBLE-D!
[WHIMPERING]
QUIT FOOLING AROUND,
DOUBLE WHOA!
OH, SHOULD HAVE THOUGH
OF THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
WE NEED TO PROTECT YOU
FROM THOSE ALLERGIES, ED.
JIMMY CRACKED
CORN, AND I DON'T CARE.
Edd: THIS ALLERGENIC CONTAINMEN
CENTER SHOULD TAKE CARE OF YOU, ED.
BRING THEM ON.
WE'VE WASTED TOO MUCH TIME.
LET'S GET THESE
ANIMALS BACK TO ROLF,
SO WE CAN COLLECT OUR LOOT.
Ed: OOOOH! I'll TAKE
THE ONE ON THE LEFT.
Edd: SEEMS LIKE
MR. AND MRS. BUNNY.
HAVE BEEN PRACTICING
THE MULTIPLICATION TABLE.
Ed: OH! NO!
Eddy: AVALANCHE!
HA! HA! HA!
GOT ANY 4s, PLANK?
GO FISH? ARE YOU
HOLDING OUT, PLANK?
PLANK!
I TOLD YOU BUNNIES WOULD
TAKE OVER THE WORLD,
AND THEY HAVE!
LUCKY WE PREPARED
FOR THIS DAY, HUH, PLANK?
WHAT THE [PANTING]
WHEE!
THIS IS FUN!
WHEE!
LOOK, SARAH, A BUNNY.
THAT MUST BE ROLF'S.
SARAH! BUNNY ATTACK!
JIMMY!
ANYTHING GOOD ON, DOUBLE-D?
OOH, THERE'S A
DOCUMENTARY ON MOLLUSKS.
BORING.
BOT: DEFENDER OF
THE BULLYAH PEOPLE.
Children: HELP!
HEY, SHUT YOUR YAPS,
WE'RE TRYING TO WATCH TV HERE!
Sarah: MOMMY! Kevin: BIG DORKS!
Eddy: MAN, SOME PEOPLE
ARE SO INCONSIDERATE.
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