Flash Gordon s01e12 Episode Script

????????? ?????????? ??????????? ?????????????? ?????????????? ????????????????? ????????????? ????????????? ????????????? okay????????????? and ????????????? don't worry,we'll make it look??????????? it's???????? ????????????? yeah,????????? hey, dale's cousin.
she can help us? no.
you know chicks, power tools i don't know.
you're telling me she can't handle the buffer? what's she doing? it's, uh, romanian tai chi.
yeah.
just go ask her.
yeah.
i'll go talk to her.
what the hell are you doing? do not approach me when i am doing my kandragi motions.
apparently.
hey, would you mind doing your alien-killing exercises in the back yard? nick is starting to get a little suspicious.
hello, zarkov.
come to springhaven park! what, right now? i'm a little busy.
yes, now!this is important.
okay! you won't believe this it's a breakthrough.
okay.
you have to see this! ok-- okay! i got to go see zarkov.
would you just try not to-- try not to kill anything while i'm gone? i'll be back in half an hour.
hey! hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! hello.
all right, so you want to tell me what's so important? oh, only that i think i just discovered, for the first time in the history of man, or mongo, or anyone or anything, how to map the dimensional divide.
that's great.
what are you talking about? you know the key code that i borrowed from rankol? mm-hmm.
it was an algorithm that allowed me to decipher the imex.
with that data, i used the sentinel to calculate the points where the resonant frequency between earth and mongo are the closest.
that's wonderful.
what does that mean? i think i may have found a way to go to mongo without waiting for ming to open a rift.
what, really? yes.
the access point huh? huh? huh-huh! who's a genius, right? look at that.
yeah.
nice! okay, okay, okay.
hey, hey.
close it.
i can't close it.
it's got to dissolve on its own.
what do you mean, you can't close it? well, the only other way to close it is to go through it.
okay, that was close.
so these access points, how many are there? they'll come and go.
probably always in different places.
now, that's cool.
the ground smokes when you step on it.
that's where all this fog's coming from.
yeah! high-phosphorus attapulgite clay.
perfect.
whoa what was that? i don't know, but i'd rather not find out.
let's get out of here.
yeah.
okay.
i think the access point is right over here.
or maybe over here? oh, god! where is it? that guy they were chasing, i think i recognize him.
that's garus, the dactyl.
£¿£¿£¿£¿£¿ i got to go see if he's okay.
he's being chased by blue men with spears! he's obviously not okay, but this isn't our problem.
it just became our problem.
æ¬ãû µúò»¼¾µú12¼¯ ·­ò룺¸öèëid ð£ ô£º¸öèëid ê±¼äö᣺dingding â¼ö棺¸öèëid ??? and bad secrets, dale.
you like to eat ice cream naked, or you once had a crush on david hasselhoff, those are good secrets.
but traveling back and forth to another dimension? bad secret.
i wanted to tell you, but zarkov kept telling me that i couldn't.
and you trusted him? look, babe, i checked that guy out.
he was locked up in the whack-shop for, like, five years.
they did that to keep him from talking.
who's "they"? i don't know.
that's one of the things i plan to find out.
i got to admit, though, part of me was relieved to know that there was nothing going on with you and flash gordon.
did you ever think that there was? i don't know.
no so.
i guess the next big, obvious question is what dimension does all this leave us in? i think we should put a pin in it until all this is sorted out.
you have captured a dactyl.
excellent.
when rau tastes his blood, he will give us the strength we need to crush them forever! all hail rau! all hail rau! we will fight until all dactyls are dead, and when we have taken their last we will crush their bones into mortar, and use it to build our new temple.
so sayeth rau! all hail rau! bring him to the altar.
prepare him for sacrifice.
i was right.
it is garus.
oh, man, we got to save him.
what? why? why do we have to save him? because he's about to get sacrificed, that's why! normally, i'd say that's a valid reason but there are two of us and a lot of them.
all right that means we're going to have to be clever about it.
you got any ideas? run away? besides that! yeah! yeah.
i got an idea.
but it'll probably get us killed.
come on.
let's go in there i've just had some disturbing news from the outlands.
our scouts inform us that azura is on the warpath again.
ah, isn't she always? the woman is mad.
yes.
mad and increasingly powerful.
the zurn believe her to be the voice of their god.
they have a fanatical devotion to her, and would blindly follow her into any then her people are as mad as she is.
indeed but doesn't that m all the mordangerous? who is her quarrel with this time? the dact she believes that they have been pirating zurn water transports.
if the dactyls have been pirating, the zurns have every right to attack them.
still, it doesn't sound like the behavior of dactyls to me.
well, these are desperate times, rankol.
the dactyls, they are hardly known for their gentility.
fstill there may be other factors at play here.
if the benevolent father were to call a summit, perhaps the situation could be resolved without bloodshed.
yes.
that's an excellent idea, rankol.
it would allow the people to see how deeply i care for the welfare of even the most primitive denzins.
then i will begin the arrangements.
and see that no one tries to kill me, drav.
there is one other matter that requires your attention.
source-water production is decreasing faster than we had predicted.
we may not have enough to meet our guarantees.
yes, i'm aware of the problem.
might i suggest a reduction in rations? we will do nothing of the sort, because if we do, then the people will know there is a shortage.
which there is.
no, rankol.
there is no shortage, and i will see to it that there never is.
but-- yes, buuntiag our enda succeeds the problem of a shortfall remains! enough! there is no shortage.
there never will be a shortage, and you mention it again, and i will rip that ridiculous plate from your skull and dig out your brains until i find the part that makes you so supremely annoying! we will ms.
t our demand all hail rau! all hail rau! this must be where they paint themselves.
what exactly are we looking for? any kind of solvent.
something that we can use as an accelerator.
mixed with the high-phosphorus clay, it should create a smoke bomb.
all hail rau! all hail rau! okay, this kind of smells like turpentine.
would that work? yeah.
yeah.
yeah, that should work.
okay.
okay.
so, let's take some of these pots, and fill them with dirt whe you explain to me again why we're risking our lives to save a stranger! two days ago, they raidedther o ur water transports and killed one of our warriors.
your crimes will not go unpunished, dactyl.
so sayeth rau! all hail rau! we did not commit those cres, azura.
my deathwill not serve just only your bloodlust.
can you prove it was not dactyls? speak to vultan, our chief.
he will tell you.
we should do this, azura.
war must not be entered capriciously.
silence! rau speaks! that is one freaky blue broad.
yeah, check out the medieval manicure.
i think those are knives.
warriors of the charge i command thee to rise up and crush the heathen followers of the hawk! all hail rau! what's she doing now? i'm pretty sure this is the part where she rips his heart out.
okay! uh on three-- yeah, yeah? pour, shake, throw.
right, pour, shake, throw.
right.
ready? yeah.
ready? one two one two three.
three.
shake.
shake.
shake, shake, shake.
the dactyl! he's getting away! find him! go, go, go, go! aah! zarkov? flash? zarkov! flash flsh gordon you saved my life.
and you saved zarkov's, so i guess that makes us even.
can we get the hell out of here? you just press and buff.
press and buff.
i know.
i have watched you.
really? there's more to you than meets the eye.
of course, there's nothing wrong with what meets the eye.
we have work.
w-wait, wait, wait.
let me ask you a question.
why are you always avoiding me? i mean, do i make you nervous? don't you have any brothers where you're from? i consider many my brothers.
no, no, no.
not-- not siblings.
i mean, people of color.
well, i know many people of color.
red, yellow, even blue though i am not very fond of them.
okay.
okay you got me, you got me.
you're a trip.
vultan! the zurn plan to attack us.
what? it's true.
flash gordon.
you return to us? yeah.
vultan, this is my friend, zarkov.
we must prepare for battle.
call our brothers to return from the hunt.
gather your weapons! the zurn scourge is on the march! you know i'm thinking this might be a good time to go home.
i'm not sure i want to stick around for the bloodbath.
yeah, yeah, go find an access point so we can get the hell out of here.
all right.
so, vultan, that's it? you're just going to fight? would you have us lay down for them? they believe you raided their water transports.
is it true? dactyls are not thieves.
azura has invented this tale to justify the attack.
well, then, if it's not true, why fight? the zurn need no reason! they fight because they are savages.
what if we can prove it wasn't you? what then? this is not your fight, flash gordon.
if the zurn want a battle, a battle they will have! looks like we're in luck.
an access point should be opening up in the next half hour or so.
good.
stay put.
as soon as it opens, go home.
wait! you're not just going to leave me here? if the dactyls didn't raid the water transports, somebody dressed as dactyls did.
i'm going to find out who it was.
and i know just the guy to see.
why? and how? and what about me? just go home.
send baylin back with a rift blaster.
she'll be able to find me.
okay.
stay put! "stay put!" oh, yeah.
i'm glad you came to me with this, joe.
it's the right thing to do.
it sounds crazy, captain, but it's true.
have you, uh, have you told anyone about this? no one.
dale told me not to.
she thinks there's some kind of government cover-up going on.
mm.
and how many times did you go to this, uh, other planet? just the once.
but dale and flash, they go all the time.
right.
now, you recently broke up with dale, didn't you? yes.
that have anything to do with this "flash" guy? i see where this is going.
look, this is not some kind of emotional mental breakdown i'm having.
joe? okay, you know what? just stay right here.
i'll be right back.
hey.
vorak.
vorak! hey! i didn't know she was your daughter! oh.
it's you.
vorak, i need your help.
did you recently sell any dactyl outfits to anyone? if so, where can i find them? i'm a businessman.
i, uh the trust of my clients is all i have.
i can never release that kind of information.
i sold three of them.
to who? you're asking me to, uh compromise my livelihood.
vorak, this is a matter of life and death.
i'm trying to stop a war between the dactyl and the zurn.
and perhaps tomorrow you could stop the tides.
you can't go into a steephouse dressed like that.
steephouse? public house.
below the lower port bay.
um but if you wear this you'll fit right in.
and, in the mean time, i'll just hold your clothes for you.
so these guys you sold the dactyl outfits to, they're going to be there? i didn't say that.
i would never divulge a confidence like that.
only a desperate tea addict with greasy hair and a scar under his right eye would be so foolish as to divulge a confidence like that.
right.
because you're an honest businessman.
what? oh, ho no, no, no, no, no.
i need these! forget about it.
no! you're going to need an attribution key.
finally, a way out of here.
a halodisk, from nascent city.
vultan of the dactyls and azura of the zurns are ordered by ming to report to nascent city on third moon for a peace summit.
refusal to attend will be considered an act of treason and will be punishable by death.
praise be to the benevolent father.
a peace summit? that does not sound like the ming that i know.
fire thistle.
tj cooper.
his friends said that he was kidnapped by "hawk men.
" turns out it was true.
that kid has been to mongo and back.
he'll back me up.
now here, security guard working at the ship graveyard in north harbor, he was murdered.
cause of death unknown? not anymore.
it was alien holding a laser whip from mongo.
the missing athletes from mustang's bar.
all of them were attacked by a life-sucking alien from another dimension.
so all these cases involve aliens from another planet? and possibly more.
i mean, i'm telling you, this thing is huge.
well, i'll tell you what i'll do, joe.
i'll look this stuff over, and, uh, i'll get back to you.
look, i really appreciate you bringing this to my attention.
of course.
it's not something you keep to yourself.
right.
grace? yes, captain? uh, get me dr.
lumm over at mental health services.
right away, sir.
rub this on.
it will help quell the pain.
thank you.
hey, my clothes! they will be burned.
and take this.
if the zurns attack, ??? what did the dactyl say to the zurn? "why so blue?" is that supposed to be funny? that's stupid.
go be stupid somewhere else.
are you always this rude to people who are trying to save your life? my life doesn't need saving.
it will when vultan finds out what you did.
what do you know about vultan? i know that he's not going to be happy when he finds out you helped frame the dactyl for robbing the zurn water transports.
now, you want to talk about stupid, that was stupid.
i had nothing to do with those robberies.
you might want to find a way to let vultan know that before he kills you.
they needed dactyl dress, and they were paying well so i fixed them up, that's all.
who? i don't know.
bandits, probably.
i needed some tea so i did the job.
i was just trying to make a few dram.
you realize you may have helped start a war? the benevolent father will stop it.
ming? what are you talking about? didn't you hear? it's been on the vis boards all day.
he called a peace summit between vultan and azura.
wow.
ming and i actually agree on something.
what do you know? come on.
what are you doing? we're going to go help ming.
we cannot just walk into ming's council chambers.
actually, i think we can.
i think we're going to make it.
you really saved my butt.
i was not aware your butt was in danger, but i am pleased to help save it.
you definitely did.
we work well together.
in fact i think we'd play well together.
i agree.
would you like to play with me? yeah.
what's your favorite game? "strangle the diglish.
" damn! okay.
i got to drop the car off, but when i come back, my whole night's free.
i am also free.
we will play then? yeah.
you bet.
i'll come back around eight and we'll grab a movie? this sounds enjoyable.
cool.
the benevolent father is concerned that tension between your tribes could become violent.
he has brought you here in hopes of restoring peace.
azura.
vultan.
welcome.
and thank you for accepting my invitation.
now what is this talk of war between the zurns and the dactyls? there have been two raids on our transports, both by bands of dactyls.
in the last assault, one of my warriors was killed.
the witch lies! it is she who is the criminal.
she captured one of my men to sacrifice to her cruel god.
only to account for the death of my warrior.
enough.
are you certain the attackers were dactyl? of course i am.
and i am certain they were not.
can you prove it was not your men? can she prove it was? azura? ah.
it seems we are at an impasse.
the benevolent father cannot and will not sanction a war between tribes.
rankol is right.
i will not approve it.
but i fear that unless some proof could be put forth to support the dactyl claim of innocence there is little i can do to stop it.
so i wish you both luck in your war.
forgive me, benevolent father, but i believe this man has some information you'll be interested in.
well, this is most unusual.
go on, then.
tell us what you have to say.
i sold dactyl dress to three denzins last quarter moon.
i don't knowwho they we but they were not dactyl.
i think it is these men that robbed the zurn transports.
well this certainly changes everything.
yes.
it does.
for the moment, at least.
for the moment may i suggest a vow of peace? vow of peace, azura.
vow of peace.
send orders for our men to stand down.
i will do the same.
vow of peace.
if you won't be needing me anymore excellent! i shall announce to all the summit has been a success.
what part of my body is a "movie"? what are you talking about? nick desires to grab my movie.
this is not a term we use on mongo.
okay, how many things are wrong with that one sentence? first of all, a movie is not a part of your body.
it's a form of entertainment, and that leads us to our second problem.
nick wants to take you to the movies? actually, i believe he'd like to mate with me.
is this movie a part of your mating ritual, or no.
i mean, sort of.
i mean you can't mate with nick.
i do not want to bond with him.
we will simply celenerate.
oh, no.
no, no.
you can't do that either, especially if it means what i think it means.
why not? he's healthy and firm.
it would be enjoyable.
and it is excellent exercise.
you should really get to know somebody before you celenerate with them.
this makes no sense.
on mongo, we celenerate to get to know someone.
if it is good, then you bond, but to bond before celeneration is absolutely foolish.
what if you do not achieve ahmatray together? ahmatray? the point where two become one.
oh.
that's not what i thought it meant.
have you and joe not achieved ahmatray? dale arden.
yes.
of course.
i'll be right there.
that's weird.
joe's captain wants me to drop by the station.
so, i'll meet you back at the house later.
and no celenerating! are you not pleased? a bloody and unnecessary war has been averted.
yes, i am pleased.
we will launch the assault immediately, before the dactyls have assembled their forces.
we will easily crush them.
but why? this is wrong, azura.
i will not allow it.
it is the will of rau! i made some phone calls, joe, and i checked those files you gave me.
so you see? we gotta do something.
the boy you mentioned, tj.
now, he says he has never heard of any hawk men from another planet.
what? but it's true.
and those missing athletes from the mustang bar? they're still open cases, so there's no leads there either.
yeah, well, i'm telling you what happened to them.
okay? i want to believe you, joe.
really, i do.
you're a good cop.
but aliens from another dimension? it's true.
just call dale.
she'll know what happened, she'll tell you.
that's what i plan to do.
send in ms.
arden.
£¿£¿£¿£¿£¿£¿£¿£¿£¿ joe.
captain.
is everything okay? i was hoping you'd tell me.
joe here says that you've been traveling to other planets with an ex-boyfriend.
what? just tell him, dale.
he knows.
i told him everything.
i don't know what to say.
yeah.
just as i thought.
tell him, dale.
joe.
she's lying.
she knows.
this is a practical joke.
i told him it was a bad idea.
he thinks it's funny.
tell him it's just a joke, joe.
no.
no, it's not a joke, okay? this actually happened to me.
i almost died over there! joe.
this is not a joke! detective! that'll be all, ms.
arden.
thank you for dropping by.
we'll be in touch.
i'm sorry, joe, but i'm going to have to ask you for your badge and gun.
denzins of nascent city, i am happy to announce that the peace summit has been a success, and a bloody war between the dactyls and the zurns has been averted.
denzins of nascent city, i am happy to announce that the peace summit has been a success £¿£¿ you have a family, drav? yes, benevolent father.
three boys and a girl.
mm.
and, um, do you love them? very much.
and would you do anything to, um, to protect them? to see that they are that they are well cared for? of course.
mm-hmm.
i too have a family.
mm-hmm.
every denzin of mongo, no matter how insignificant, is like a child to me.
and i will do whatever it takes to protect them, to love them.
yes, father.
so when mistakes get made that put my plans for my family in jeopardy, it angers me.
i am sorry, benevolent father.
the men needed dactyl dress, and he said he could provide the uniforms.
messy.
very messy.
i promise, this will not be traced back to you.
i had the job done by good men who posed as bandits.
they are loyal.
they will not talk.
i can't take that risk.
find them and kill them.
and get rid of that chatty tea-swiller, too.
but first, find the patriot guard who brought him in.
yes, father.
if you fail me again, it will be your family that pays the price, and you will live to witness their executions.
i will not fail you.
and don't drip on your way out.
i am tired of cleaning up your mess.
garus! garus, what happened? the zurns, they attacked us.
as soon as you gave the order to stand down, they were on us.
those who survived have gone to gather our brothers.
the war has begun.
where's zarkov? they have taken him.
i'm telling you, you're making a huge mistake.
i'm not even a dactyl.
i mean, look at me.
i haven't been to a gym since sixth grade! my fellow warriors, today rau has given us a great victory, but the war is not over.
the dactyls will call their brothers and challenge us again.
but, in that battle, as in this, we will prevail.
so sayeth rau.
all hail rau! now we must honor him with the blood of our enemies.
prepare the sacrifices.
so sayeth rau! all hail rau! all hail rau! all hail rau! all hail rau! all hail rau! all hail rau! all hail rau! all hail rau! all hail rau! how long until your brothers arrive with reinforcements? too long.
i am afraid your friend is lost.
but take heart, flash.
he will die with honor, as a dactyl.
nobody's going to die today.
we've got a chance to save them all, but i'm going to need your help.
i am thirsty bring the first sacrifice.
all hail rau! all hail rau! all hail rau! oh! i swear to you i'm not even from this planet.
i'm from buffalo! aah! you're making a mistake.
stop! if you are to sacrifice anyone sacr.
£¿£¿£¿£¿ as you wish, vultan.
but before you kill me, know azura has lied to you! she does not speak for your god! blasphemy! a.
no, azur ouit iy who speak blasphemy.
rau does not nt w.
you want war! and you have deceive p e ureoplin his name.
kill him! i call rau to strike me down if what i speak is not true! as you wish, vultan.
you have angered your god, azura.
look.
vultan speaks the truth! azura has lied to you.
it is her bloodlust you have served, not mine.
i command you to put down your weapons and end this war.
now, release the prisoners! i demand only one sacrifice.
i will take that one the little dactyl.
nice job, rau.
let's get out of here! am i disturbing you? not at all.
i was just looking at the moons.
they remind me how far we've come.
and how far we have yet to go.
perhaps to a day when you no longer have to arrange wars.
so you know? a few thousand casualties would have decreased demand urce-water, and no one would have known of the shortage.
quite brilliant, really.
it should have worked.
but someone is working against me.
do you know who? of course.
but that problem, too, will soon be taken care of.
we had a bargain and you failed me.
i should rip your heart out right now.
yes, but then where would you be? £¿£¿£¿£¿£¿£¿£¿£¿£¿ flash will return soon.
he will know what to do.
no.
there's no easy answer to this one.
no secret is worth this.
you had no choice.
you did what you had to.
i did have a choice, and i chose to lie.
i don't know how much longer i can go on lying for.
well, perhaps it is time to stop lying.
perhaps it is time for truth.
baylin, you here? just not tonight.
yes.
not tonight.
we will go now, and you will grab my movie.
i'm not sure what that means, but i like the sound of it.
what? you're not even going to ask what happened? it couldn't have been any worse than my day.
oh, you have no idea.
i'm just glad you're back.
hey, it's okay.
it's okay.
it's okay.
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