Foreign Exchange (2004) s01e12 Episode Script

1
(upbeat music)
(rock guitar music)
(helicopter blades whirring)
- [Brett] So what's so special about
St. Patrick's Day in Galway?
- Every year O'Keeffe's enters
a float in the street parade.
- So what, you want yourself
a lot of leprechauns?
- No, we don't.
This year our theme is
O'Keeffe's through the ages.
It'll be fun we might even win.
- Well cool I can't wait to see it then.
- Yeah, I'd better get
back and get some sleep.
- So had you if you're
coming to the parade,
but don't sleep too late yeah,
cause the boss is coming early.
'Ello, Earth to Brett are you receiving?
- Get a load of that board.
That costs like 500 bucks,
but Hannah I'm gonna get one.
- Well keep dreaming.
Yeah I gotta go, see ya later.
- Yeah, see ya.
(crow caws)
(eerie music)
(door creaking)
(suspenseful music)
(metal clanking)
- [Burglar] Aah!
(metal clanks)
Hmm.
(rock music)
- Hannah "Top of the day to you,"
or whatever it is they say Ireland.
- Oh, thanks.
- You know how interested Brett's been
in Ireland since meeting you?
- Yeah.
- Well I'm organizing
an Irish night tonight
in the restaurant for St. Patrick's Day.
He's gonna love it.
- Oh, well what if he has
something else planned?
- He wouldn't miss it for the world,
and you're invited too of
course and your father.
We'd love to catch up with him.
- Oh, well, thanks,
but you know us Irish have
celebrations coming out our ears.
- I bet, but if you change your mind,
we'd be delighted to see you.
(eerie music)
- [Burglar] Ugh!
(funky guitar music)
- Hello!
Hey Ren.
- What?
Oh, hey.
- O'Keeffe's.
- Hannah, what have you got there?
- Oh, this candelabra.
I was just looking at the design on this.
- Hoo, it's absolutely beautiful!
- You haven't seen this before.
- No, why would I, where's it come from?
- Galway, I think.
It would be absolutely
perfect for our Irish night.
Do you mind if I borrow it?
- Oh, borrow this?
Do you mind, I'll give it a good clean.
- Yeah, I guess so.
(light funky music)
- I wonder how old it is.
Do you know?
- Old, quite old.
- Oh hi Brett.
- Hey, you still here.
- Brett I need to ask you something.
- Yeah, sure.
- What do you think you're playing us?
- Sorry?
- Is there anything
you wanna tell me?
- No.
- Have you taken
something from O'Keeffe's?
- Don't be mad.
- Answer the question.
- No, of course I haven't.
- And you've left the portal open.
- Me, you were the last
one to come through.
- Well I'm positive I closed it.
- But it is St. Patrick's Day.
Are you sure it wasn't those leprechauns?
- Brett, this is serious!
- Oh come on Hannah, you
just forgot to close it.
That's all.
I mean perfect people can foul up.
- No, no I can't believe
I'd do such a thing.
- We're just lucky that no one saw it.
- Something strange is
going on here Brett,
and I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.
Oh, and by the way, you can
forget about the parade.
Your mother has other plans for you.
Ow!
(suspenseful music)
What?
(eerie music)
(door creaking)
(metal clanks gently)
(metal gently clanks)
(door clicks)
- Back so soon?
- Humph!
You have been taking stuff, haven't you?
- What?
- Stealing, from O'Keeffe's.
- Stealing.
- To pay for that stupid
surf board, no doubt.
Well you might as well admit it Brett,
I know the whole story.
- Well that's more than I do.
Maybe you can tell me.
- Okay .
There's a thief about.
- And why do you think it's me?
- There's an O'Keeffe's candelabra
up there in your living room.
- What?
- Yeah.
And how did it get here?
I mean it didn't just
pop across from Galway
on it's own did it?
- Are you sure it wasn't
those leprechauns?
Okay, okay I'll go get it.
I'll just go.
Jackie, you know that
candelabra we were looking at.
- Upstairs in the restaurant,
just giving it a clean.
- Oh.
- Hannah, guess what.
I've had the best idea
ever for the Irish night.
- Really?
- That's if you'll help me.
Please, Hannah?
I won't be allowed to go
into town without you.
- What, town,
Meredith you want me to
go in to town with you,
- To hire a leprechaun costume,
so Brett can wear it this evening.
- Look I really don't--
- Oh please say "yes."
- I'd love to help--
- Great, I'll go get my stuff.
You are gonna be so surprised.
- Yeah, nothing surprises me today.
- Wait till you hear this.
- [Jackie] Try me.
- I am down at the supermarket,
and this crazy Irishman burst in
demanding to be arrested by the police.
- Why?
- He was telling everyone
he's been magically transported here.
(Jackie laughs)
And you'll love this Hannah.
Says he comes from Galway.
Apparently he's confessed to burgling
some school over there.
- Oh, he burgled a school?
- Yeah, totally crackers.
- Well, did he say anything
about the stuff he stole?
- Eh?
Oh, well I didn't hear
but I feel sorry for the police though,
I mean they'll have to waste
their time investigating it.
- Are you sure it's not
a St. Patrick's Day hoax?
- If it is, no one was laughing.
- Excuse us guys, we've
got some stuff to do.
- There's a bus in ten minutes, Hannah.
- Where are you going with Meredith?
- Ugh, don't ask.
What about all of this stuff
about a burglar from Galway.
- Oh so you believe it wasn't me now.
- Okay I'm sorry, but I knew
I didn't take the candelabra,
and there's only one other person
that knows about the portal.
- Well there's two now.
- Yeah, you know if anyone
believes him we're sunk.
- Oh well you heard Cray,
the coppers think he's nuts.
- Yeah, until they come here
and see the stuff he stole.
- Alright, well, we'll
just take it through
and put it back in the
cellar at O'Keeffe's.
- No, they might also call the school
and ask if anything's missing.
- (exhales) Okay well it
shouldn't take too long
to put the candelabra back.
- Yeah, well there's more.
- How much more?
- A whole bag of stuff.
- Oh, you're not saying
it all has to go back
to where it belongs.
- That's exactly what I'm saying.
The candelabra's up in the restaurant,
that has to go to the library.
There's a bag of trophies in my cupboard,
and they have to go to the assembly hall.
- Right well, if you go now you'll have
more than enough time to put it all back.
- [Meredith] Hannah come on!
- I have to go into town with Meredith.
- Well, hang on a sec.
- No, you have to do this.
- I'll go into town with Meredith.
- No, you can't.
- Why?
- Because it's a girl thing, okay?
- Why do I always get the short straw?
(light guitar riff)
(funky guitar music)
- [Radio Host] Now we'll
be pulling your name
out of the basket this Friday,
so don't forget, we'll be
waiting for your opinions
on everything that matters
in fashion and music
right after this on nine five three FM.
(energetic music)
- Hey Tara?
- What are you doing in
the girls' dormitory?
- Oh, there's a phone
call for you in the foyer.
- This early?
For me?
- They asked for Tara.
- Tell them to ring me on my mobile.
- What if, what if they
don't know the number?
- If they don't know the number,
then they're not important
enough to speak to, are they?
- [Radio Host] Don't go away now,
you could be the lucky
person we're calling,
so stay by your phones.
- Listen it sounded pretty serious.
- How serious?
- Some radio station, some kind of um,
some kind of interview show.
- Not nine five three FM.
- Could be that sounds familiar.
- Well I was beginning to think
they would never respond to my emails.
(suspenseful music)
(metal clanking)
- [Blonde Girl] It's no problem--
- [Tara] It's all right, it's for me.
- [Blonde Girl] Hey!
- Hi, Tara here, who am I
speaking to, Gerry or Roxie?
Is this nine five three FM?
No I'm not a friend of your daughter.
This is a public phone you know.
You shouldn't use it for trivial calls
to things like family.
- [Blonde Girl] I'm sorry Mum.
- Excuse me miss,
could you direct me to a
Miss Murphy's office please?
- Someone in trouble?
- I can't discuss that, I'm afraid.
If you could just direct
me to the office please.
- Of course, this way.
- Let me get this straight,
the Australian police have
said there's been a burglary
here, at this school?
- Aye, well there might
have been a burglary.
- Carried out a few hours ago
by a man who is now in Australia?
- Yeah, it does sound odd I know.
- Odd, it's a physical impossibility.
- Yeah well, nevertheless Miss Murphy
if you wouldn't mind
taking a quick look around
just to be sure.
- I'll take him to the study
room Miss Murphy, I don't mind.
- Thank you Tara, you've
been very helpful already.
I'm sure I can manage from here.
This way.
The whole thing's a hoax, surely.
- Well we still have to
follow it up Miss Murphy.
- Well, see everything's
here, everything in its place.
- Good, well, at least we can
rest our minds on that score.
(suspenseful music)
- [Tara] Brett?
- Oh Tara, how's things?
- What do you know about this robbery?
- Robbery?
- You won't fool me, Brett.
I know the Australian police are involved.
- Are they?
- So I ask,
"What's the only connection
between O'Keeffe's School and Australia?"
Answer: Brett Miller!
- Gee, Tara are you saying
that there's been a robbery
and that I'm responsible?
- Why are you carrying that bag?
- Why shouldn't I?
- It's a bit suspicious, don't you think?
A robbery's just been reported,
and you're suddenly seen with a bag.
- Um, I'm assistant caretaker,
I need this bag to carry stuff.
- What sort of stuff?
- Tara, I can positively guarantee
that I've not taken anything.
And I'm definitely not a thief.
- You'd better not be, I'm
watching your every move.
(playful guitar music)
(rock music)
- It's such a cute costume.
Brett's gonna make a fabulous leprechaun.
- Try telling him that.
- You're just feeling
uncomfortable about giving.
It's a perfectly natural
stage in any relationship.
- Meredith, Brett and I do
not have a relationship.
- Well, your non-relationship then.
But he'll really know how much
you care when he sees this.
- Yeah, yeah you could be right there.
- He really thinks he
just popped into our house
like the tooth fairy ?
- That's what he said,
one minute he's in Ireland
the next he's here.
- Pity it isn't true (laughs)
I mean a magic doorway.
- [Jackie] The airlines
wouldn't like us very much,
we'd put 'em out of business over night.
- [Policewoman] So that's
a definite no then,
to visitors from Ireland
appearing out of thin air?
- Oh yeah, very definite.
- We might have a few tonight though,
we're having an Irish
night in the restaurant
for St. Patrick's Day.
- And, Brett's dressing
up as a leprechaun.
Isn't that great?
- Brett?
- My son?
- A leprechaun, now
that I have got to see.
- Our Irish friend must
have felt quite at home
when he stumbled in here.
If I can take a look at
the basement room then.
- [Jackie] Yeah sure this way.
- The basement!
- That's where the guy said he emerged
after the space walk
from Ireland (laughing).
(suspenseful music)
- Unusual ornament.
- It's Celtic.
- You know this stuff?
- Hobby's antiques.
Not that I can afford many.
- [Man] So this is where the
guy said he came through.
- [Policewoman] This
is the spot all right.
Solid as a rock and has been
for more than a century.
Thanks for your cooperation,
sorry to waste your time.
- Ah, it's no worries,
always willing to help.
Don't forget to call on
us when the Martians land.
- [Policewoman] Talking
of little green men
I hope your Irish night's a big success.
- I'm freezing, I forgot to take a jumper.
- Yeah, you also forgot to lock the door.
- Oh sorry (laughs),
I took all the stuff back though.
- You didn't take the candelabra.
- I did.
- It's upstairs.
- It's on the table at O'Keeffe's,
I just put it there!
- Well then you took the wrong one.
- Oh no.
No, Miss Murphy's still checking
everything with the police.
- We've got to go and get it back then.
(rock music)
- Well I trust that wraps
up our little lone mystery.
- Uh, not quite Miss Murphy.
What about this silver candle stick?
- You don't really believe.
- I'm sorry miss
but no stone must be left
unturned, as they say.
- (sighs) This way.
(uptempo rock music)
- Ta da, look what I got for you.
- Oh, Meredith you shouldn't have.
- I knew he'd love it, didn't I Hannah?
- Oh, you knew about this?
- You have to put it on
before the party, please?
- But I've--
- Thank you.
Why don't you got to your
room and put that on?
- All right, I'll just go
and try it on then Meredith.
I'm sure it'll look great.
(suspenseful music)
- [Policeman] The lad's
name is O'Keeffe then?
- [Miss Murphy] Last of
the family to live here.
- Didn't he disappear or something?
- A hundred years ago, it's
been a school ever since.
- Really is a fascinating art collection
you've got here Miss Murphy.
- [Miss Murphy] Thank you.
The candelabra is this way.
Brett.
- G'day Miss Murphy.
- What are you doing in here?
- Um, Seamus told me
to give this a polish.
- And what an excellent job you've done!
- Thank you miss.
- There you are, still here.
- Sure he knew there'd be nothing missing.
Better to be safe than sorry though.
- Hey, Tara, nice dress!
- I thought you'd be in jail by now.
- Tara, you've really got the
wrong idea about me, you know.
- I've got you sussed exactly.
One day I'm gonna catch you out.
Just you watch.
- I thought we could be friends, Tara.
- You and me.
- Yeah, I thought we'd really
started to you know, click.
- In order for people to click
there have to be a few things
going on like common interest,
similar intelligence levels,
- That's exactly what I think.
- And in all of those things,
you and I are several
million light years apart.
Besides which there's one other
tiny but significant problem.
- What's that?
- I don't like you.
(rock guitar riff)
- Okay, I can see where
you're coming from Tara
but deep down I think you'll find
we actually have a lot in common.
You just need to get to
know me a bit better.
- I know all i need to know,
and that's more than enough.
- No doubt about it, we're
definitely starting to click.
(laughs)
(rock music)
- Whoa!
(funky guitar music)
That is fantastic.
- The first person to make a smart comment
gets put out with the garbage.
- You look awesome, doesn't he Hannah?
- Absolutely yeah, completely.
- Hannah I'm so sorry.
This is really terrible.
- What?
- Your candelabra it's gone.
- Oh!
- It must've been stolen,
I'll have to call the police.
- No, honestly, you don't have to.
- Well do you know where it is?
- Well sort of.
- Sort of.
- Hannah I just think we
should tell the truth.
- You can't!
- Well why can't he?
What's going on here?
- I just took it back to where it belongs.
- Brett!
- Hannah didn't want to tell you earlier
but uh, she has a St. Patrick's Day party
at her place tonight,
and the candelabra's near there.
- Hannah why didn't you just
say this in the first place?
- Oh, well I didn't think of it.
Yeah, I mean, you know,
because you did all that cleaning
and I felt so embarrassed.
- Then she felt awkward because,
well she invited me
and didn't want to ruin
your plans for this evening.
- Yeah everything just
got a little mixed up.
- You poor thing.
But please just tell me
the truth in the future.
It makes life so much easier.
Go on then, go and enjoy yourself.
- Come on, we can still
make it if we're quick.
(Jackie sighs)
- Brett's so keen isn't he.
- You know what Meredith,
I don't think green's his color.
(acoustic guitar music)
- [Woman] I hear twitchy engines,
do not drive against those people!
(motorcycle engines rev)
- Well good grief Brett,
what are you wearing?
- Fancy dress.
- That is not fancy dress.
It's just sad.
- This is all your fault you know,
you encouraged Meredith.
- What?
I think it's cute.
- Come on now everyone
get yourselves organized.
We have a hundred years
of O'Keeffe's history
on show today.
- If you think I'm going
to be seen in public
with a leprechaun, you must be joking.
I thought we were hoping to win this year.
- I rather like Brett's costume, Tara.
Nothing wrong with a sense of humor.
- Except when it's not funny.
Ugh, he's tragic!
(upbeat music)
- [Woman] Don't you look lovely, hello.
- [Woman On Float] Hello, hi!
- [Man On Float] How ya doing all, hi!
- [Man] Hey, look at how he's doin'.
- [Man On Float] Thanks everyone, hello.
- G'day folks!
(Hannah laughs)
- It could've been worse you know,
I was gonna come in a koala bear suit.
(upbeat music)