Gilmore Girls s01e12 Episode Script

Previously on Gilmore Girls: - You're an amazing woman.
- Thanks for noticing.
What exactly is going on between you two? - We're friends, that's it.
- You're idiots, the both of you.
I have to get to the bus stop.
Dean's meeting me there.
I'm trying to talk to you.
You sneaking around buying somebody else's strawberries? I needed the strawberries.
I get jealous sometimes.
I mean, you seem to have this really great life going and I don't really fit in there.
Lane, I'm so sorry.
I've been the worst friend lately.
- A zucchini tush? - Just a temporary name.
You want me to serve a genetically engineered vegetable named after a butt? So once you're settled with Dean, could you ask him about Todd? Absolutely.
When did you become the relationship expert? You haven't been in a relationship in years.
Wow.
I'm not gonna charge you for these.
I would rather starve myself than know that my food was paid for by the lowered expectations of the American public.
- Jackson? - What? Would you like to go to dinner sometime with me? Okay.
Mom! Wow.
You went new CD crazy.
They just had an amazing selection today.
The Best of Blondie, Kraftwerk, Young Marble Giants Yoko Ono.
Really? A misunderstood artist.
The Beatles would've broken up anyway.
Have you shared your theory? I know it, so do Yoko and Sean.
Julian's in denial, but what can you do? I must listen to anyone named Claudine Longet.
- Rory.
- Yes, Lane? I have a favor to ask you.
- You know Dean? - My boyfriend? - Yes, I do.
- Okay.
Remember I was telling you about his friend, Todd? Yes.
- Have you met him? - No.
- He's cool.
- Good.
- Really cool.
- Good again.
- Really, really cool.
- Good still holds.
So cool that it brings me to the next question.
- I'm studying in there.
- I know.
I have, like, 6,000 pages of case studies to memorize and a big test on the Wal-Mart phenomenon coming up on Friday.
Because I have a life and a job to concentrate on besides business school I'm behind and I'll probably fail.
Then that 18-year-old annoying gnat who sits behind me will get another 'A' and make that 'I'm smart, you're dumb' face to me for the whole week and I'll be very upset and will possibly cry.
- The music's too loud.
- Yes.
- Got it.
- Thank you.
I was wondering if you could talk to Dean about talking to Todd about me.
I guess.
And then maybe you could ask Dean to ask him out.
For me.
Good, 'cause I don't think Dean would wanna go out with Todd.
It'd screw up their friendship.
I was thinking this date could maybe happen this weekend.
Sunday, preferably.
After church.
- But don't mention church.
- Hold on a second.
Unless he's into church.
Now it's too quiet.
- I'll turn it up.
- Thank you.
So, what do you think? - Who the hell is that anyway? - Claudine Longet.
- The chick who shot the skier? - Sure, why not? Renaissance woman.
- You want me to set you up with Todd? - Yes.
I was thinking that you and Dean could come with us so it isn't that big of a deal.
You don't wanna do it.
- No.
L - That's okay, I understand.
No big deal.
Grandaddy, new album, used.
I love a bargain.
- I really don't know this Todd guy.
- I do.
- You've met him twice.
- But the third time's a charm.
- How do you know he's right for you? - I know.
I'm telling you, we're talking soul mate here.
The last time you met your soul mate you ran your fingers through his hair and ended up hiding at my house.
I still have my key.
I made a mistake with Rich Bloomenfeld.
Everyone's allowed one mistake.
- But Todd is different.
- He is? First, his name is Todd.
Different name, different guy.
Okay, so how important is this whole business school thing anyway? So what if I never run my own inn? I like my job, my house, and my life.
I don't wanna be one of those people who's never satisfied with what they have, you know.
I mean, some people don't have legs or arms.
I have legs and arms.
What more could I possibly want than legs and arms? I could take all the classes in the world, that's not gonna give me what I have.
- Legs and arms? - Yes.
- Am I sounding completely crazy? - Yes, you are.
- Wal-Mart is boring.
- Study.
- So? - So? - Rory.
- Okay.
- Really? - Yes, Yoko.
So, what you doing? Yes, Michel? I apologize for any inconvenience I might be causing your future employment.
But your current one is experiencing a problem.
Once again I say, 'Yes, Michel?' Are you sure you wouldn't like me to wait? No, Michel.
Because learning the eating patterns of the average Taco Bell consumer - is a vital lesson that - What do you want? - We're overbooked.
- How are we overbooked? There are more people here than there are rooms to put them in.
I don't understand this.
I cannot describe it any simpler than I already have.
Where did the Ruckers come from? Judging from their clothing a town where high rubber fishing boots and spittoons would be considered formalwear.
Put them in the Jefferson Suite tonight.
Move them to their booked room tomorrow.
Offer dinner on the house for the inconvenience.
Very well.
I'm gonna get some more coffee if you need me.
I'll try and manage while you're gone.
Though, God knows, it won't be easy.
- Coffee? - Yes.
Great.
- Meringue.
- Yeah.
I thought I'd do a variation on a baked Alaska for dessert.
- What kind of variation? - I hadn't thought of that yet.
- You could do them in the shape of Alaska.
- Interesting.
Or you could do little baked Alaskas and Hawaiis.
- Because they joined the Union last.
- Exactly.
- Jackson.
- Sookie, hello.
- Hello.
- Hey.
- I brought you - Great.
Just put them down there.
Right.
Yes.
- How's that? - That's great.
It's perfect.
I really like them there.
- They do look good there, don't they? - Yes, they do.
- Okay.
I should - Squash.
- What? - I need some.
- Squash? - Pattypan.
- Okay, tomorrow.
- Same time? - Lf that's good for you.
- It's perfect.
Okay.
Then I'll see you tomorrow with the pattypan.
Great.
Yes.
Okay, who walked in on who naked? Oh, God, this is horrible.
He comes in and What's going on between you two? I asked if he'd like to have dinner sometime.
- I know, weeks ago.
- He said yes.
Which is good.
But since there was no definite plan or date attached now the invitation is just out there floating in the universe.
- Make a definite plan.
- I can't.
- Why? - What if he says no? He already said yes.
Yes to the amorphous, theoretical let's go out sometime and do something not too specific proposition.
But dinner and a movie, it's concrete, it's real.
He might say no.
- I doubt he will.
- Why hasn't he asked me? Maybe he thinks you changed your mind since you asked.
- Why would he think that? - Because you haven't mentioned it again.
- But I mentioned once.
It's his turn.
- All right.
Let's say it is his turn.
You can spend time sitting around, waiting for him to realize that or you can run with the wolves and make it your turn again.
- I don't want it to be my turn again.
- You just wanna let this opportunity pass? - I wanna be the girl.
- You are.
That's why we're having this confusing conversation.
- You think I should ask him out? - On Sunday.
- Why Sunday? - That's your day off.
- Okay.
- Now.
- What? - Do it now before you lose your nerve.
- He isn't back to his office yet.
- Does he have a cell phone? - Yes.
- People buy them for exactly this reason.
So you can get a hold of them any time you want.
I thought they bought cell phones if their cars broke down at night and they had to call someone for help and there's psycho killers Call him, Sookie.
Call him.
- She knows his number by heart.
- He is my produce guy.
Very convenient excuse.
Jackson, it's Sookie.
I was wondering if you could call me back when you get a chance.
Sooner rather than later.
It's not an emergency, so don't freak out or anything.
The carrots still look good.
Seems like it's a shame to eat them sort of like you should put them in a vase - Hang up.
- Call me.
Bye.
I got his voice mail.
Good.
It gives you time to prepare what you'll say maybe have suggestions ready of places to go.
- Date prep time.
- Yes.
Okay, good.
I'm good at that.
I'm good at prep.
- Spoon.
- Right.
- Is there anything in there about me? - I don't know.
Your name wouldn't be lithium, would it? Aren't you supposed to be in school? We had a half day today.
Teacher conferences.
So I thought I'd come by and surprise you.
- You know how much I hate surprises.
- Yes, I'm very sorry.
- That's for surprising me.
- I have learned my lesson.
I have to talk to you about something.
I have to talk to you about something, too.
Come here.
- Okay, stop.
- Sorry.
- No, stay.
- Why? Because I really need to talk to you about something.
All right.
- It's about Todd.
- What about him? - What do you think of him? - He's my friend.
- I know.
- That would signify a positive impression.
Right.
Okay, good.
- Yes.
Can I kiss you now? - I'm not done yet.
- Fine, go ahead.
- You know Lane.
- Yeah, I do.
- She likes Todd.
Okay.
And I think that they would really hit it off.
- You don't even know Todd.
- No, but you do.
- And you like him, you said so.
- I did.
Okay, then.
There you go.
I would really like to kiss you now.
- Yes, so would I.
- Good.
We agree.
I think we should set them up.
- Todd and Lane? - Yeah.
We could all go out together, to a movie or something.
On Sunday.
It would be really casual.
No big deal.
- I just - What? I'm just not sure that I see them together.
- You don't think Todd would like Lane? - I'm not sure.
- Lane is great.
- I know.
- She's my best friend.
- I know that.
- Todd should be so lucky to get her.
- I didn't mean I can't believe you don't think she's good or pretty enough.
I didn't say anything about her not being pretty enough.
I don't know if he'll like her 'cause I don't know what kind of girl he likes.
But if you wanna do this, then I'll talk to him.
- You will? - Yeah.
- And you'll mention Sunday? - I'll mention Sunday.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
So, was that it? - Yeah, that was it.
- Then can we Kissing.
Right, let's go.
- I give up.
- That's the spirit.
I can't remember any of this crap.
Not everyone is cut out to be their own boss.
Maybe you are more of a worker bee.
A follower, a ticket ripper or the man at the concert with the orange glow stick directing you where to park.
- You're baiting me, aren't you? - No.
I seriously have no faith in your aptitude.
He called! - And? - I did what you said.
I had it worked out and asked him if he'd like to go to dinner - at Chez Fleur on Sunday.
- Very nice.
- Thank you, and he said he'd love to.
- Great.
He said he would love to, but his cousin's in town and is staying with him for the week.
Then just make it next week.
That would've been a good option had I thought of it when I was on the phone.
- Instead I came up with another option.
- Which is? That we double-date with his cousin Rune and you.
What? Okay, not as good as your option, I agree but it seemed pretty good at the time though I wasn't standing here watching you make that face.
- No, I hate blind dates.
- I know, but this isn't a blind date.
This is you keeping his cousin company while I have a date with Jackson.
Oh, God.
- Please? I'll be your best friend.
- You are my best friend.
- And you're mine.
- I know I am.
So what are best friends for? - Okay.
- Yes? Yes, I'll go.
Thank you.
You will not regret this.
- Pick another phrase.
- You will not have to pay.
Much better.
Shut up.
- Rory.
- What? - Diva Glam.
- I've got it.
Bring it up.
Hold still.
- Not too much.
- No, just enough to say, 'Hey, sailor.
' My stomach doesn't feel great.
I think I've the flu.
- I think you're nervous.
- Here.
- Thank you.
- I need the sparkly hair clips.
I'll find them in a minute.
- You look pretty.
- I do? Thank you.
- I should cancel.
- Let's do your lips first.
What if I'm making an idiot out of myself? - By going out on a date? - With my produce guy.
You like him.
But what if tonight is a disaster and then he won't sell to me anymore? - Oh, my God, you're right.
- Yes, see? Since all the produce in the entire world is in his possession and all the produce grown in the future will be in his possession then we will never again get any produce, and our vegetarian clients will die.
- I'm scared.
- I know.
- I like him.
- He likes you.
How do you know he's not being polite? No, I mean it.
It's like I cornered him.
He felt trapped.
- He had to say yes.
- He did not have to say yes.
Oh, my God! Technically, I'm his employer.
I am.
I buy his wares.
His livelihood depends on me.
- I'm a sexual harasser.
- Then you need some false eyelashes.
This isn't funny.
I am now desperate, lonely, and a criminal.
Stop talking.
- But - No.
You have exhausted all your talking rights by being crazy.
Sit down, and listen.
Tonight is a good thing.
Whether you find out that you're madly in love or you're not meant for each other, it's still a good thing.
I'll be right there.
And have I done a gorgeous job on your face or what? I'll be right back.
You're sure you don't mind? - What's mine is yours.
- I owe you forever.
Good to know.
Which one do you think Todd would like better? - I don't know Todd.
- I think the rhinestones.
Rhinestones it is.
What did you tell your mom? I told her I'd spend the evening here with you guys.
What if she calls? I mentioned we might go rent some videos or go out to eat - which could explain any absence.
- Very thorough.
With my mom, you leave nothing to chance.
Especially when there is a non-Korean involved who, as far as I know, has no medical aspirations.
- Sparkly clips.
- Thank you.
I like the rhinestones.
And for a touch of glamour.
- What are you gonna tell Lorelai? - I don't know.
She wouldn't tell my mom, would she? I don't know if she'd feel good about lying to another mother.
It's like this weird code thing with her.
- So we don't tell her? - I'm not liking that option, either.
No.
We'll tell her that we're meeting Dean for a movie and then we go to the movie and then somebody who happens to be Dean's friend just happens to be there for the same movie.
So we figure that it would be completely rude for us to not ask said person to come sit with us.
I say to hell with governor.
You run directly for president.
It's not that bad.
Let's just not think about it, okay? - I really appreciate this.
- I know.
How do I look? - You look too good for him.
- Just what I was going for.
- We're going.
- Where? - We're going to a movie with Dean.
- Nothing dirty, violent, or French.
Are you gonna be home late? There's a bit of doubt as to whether or not we'll ever get out tonight.
Sookie, please! Okay, I'm here.
I'm down.
- Where's your coat? - It's upstairs.
- Aren't you gonna need it? - It got caught around the thing and when I twisted around to get loose, the choking started.
I'm free now.
- I'll get you something to wear.
- I'd appreciate that.
- Bye.
- Bye, kittens.
This is beautiful.
It goes with the theme of the evening.
- This is a nice thing you're doing for me.
- Any time.
Last looks.
I'll get it.
- Hi.
- Hi, Lorelai.
Sorry we're late.
No problem.
Adds more primping time for the ladies.
- Hi, Jackson.
- Sookie.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Do you guys wanna come in for a minute? Sure.
Lorelai, this is my cousin, Rune.
Rune, this is Lorelai.
Hi.
It's very nice to meet you.
- Can I talk to you a minute? - What's the matter? I need a minute alone.
Please? Excuse us.
- What are you doing? - That's Lorelai? Yes.
- Did you see how tall she is? - No, I haven't noticed actually.
How could you not? She's like a basketball player.
Rune, she's a very nice lady.
I cannot go out with anyone that tall.
God, I can't believe you set me up with that.
Was the bearded lady busy tonight or something? Just one night, a little dinner.
When she came to the door, I didn't realize that that was who I'd spend the evening with.
I thought it was her East German maid or something.
- You're ridiculous.
She's not that tall.
- She's tall enough.
Would you keep it down? She's gonna hear you.
With those big ears, I bet she can.
Rune, you come into town completely unannounced.
You eat all my food, crash on my couch, and I don't say a thing.
The least you could do is go out for one night.
Make some conversation.
Be pleasant.
Who knows? Maybe you'll even enjoy it.
Why can't we go out, just the two of us? Rune, please.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- I think we should be going.
- Yes, that sounds good.
What size shoe do you wear? - Size nine.
- Nine? Wow! I wonder if the mussels are fresh.
It does say 'fresh mussels' on the menu.
A lot of times they say fresh when they're frozen.
They're called fresh because they were fresh when they were frozen.
Plus if they're not stored with correct drainage they sit in their own excretion, which is like sitting in your own I beg of you, do not order the fresh mussels.
- But if they're fresh - Even if they're fresh.
I wonder where they get their carrots from.
The carrot crop this year has been really mealy.
- So, Rune.
- Yes? - What is that? Rune? - What do you mean? I mean, where did Rune come from? I'm from out of town.
I thought Jackson told you.
He did.
I meant the name 'Rune.
' You don't meet a lot of Runes, right? - It's my dad's name.
- Where'd he get it? I don't know.
From his parents, I guess.
Okay, done with that topic.
The waiter, thank the Lord.
What can I get you? - Are the mussels fresh? - Yes, they are.
Where exactly are your carrots from? Is there anything on this menu that isn't French? I'll just have a martini, and keep them coming.
Thanks.
- What are you doing? - Nothing.
They're fine.
I am not looking at them.
I'm looking at the world around me.
The world is fine, too.
- I wanna make sure they're having fun.
- They are.
How do you know? They aren't in prison or some sort of medieval torture chamber.
When you measure it that way.
The amazing thing is all these girls are screaming and none of them are getting the joke.
He's playing the character of a rock star.
Beck is a genius and these stupid girls are screaming at him just because they're buying into the rock star image.
I love Beck.
I understand Beck.
And the Foo Fighters.
Gods.
Have you heard the acoustic version of Everlong? I can't even talk about it.
You know who I've really gotten into lately? The Velvet Underground.
And Nico.
She is amazing.
Depressing, German, scary chick.
I have the CD if you wanna borrow it sometime.
What kind of music do you like? I don't know.
Whatever.
- Fugazi? - What? The band on your shirt.
Cool picture.
- You don't know what's on your shirt? - It's my sister's.
What about books? Do you like books? Magazines? What about school? What are you majoring in? I was thinking about gym.
If I major in gym, I only have to take four classes my senior year.
Cool.
Gym? We work on our bikes together.
He's got the good tools.
Come on in.
I have your tickets ready.
- It was so funny.
Oh, God! You remember? - I remember.
- What was Rory, eight? - I believe she was.
Oh, God, that mud pie fiasco haunted me for a year.
Hers looked just like mine.
Of course, I used homemade chocolate cookies, bittersweet ganache and she used mud.
But they did look damn similar.
So, Sookie has been experimenting with different forms of baking for as long as I've known her.
- That's very interesting.
- Yeah.
Remember when I decided to teach you how to make strawberry tarts and the entire kitchen was stained red and I had to repaint that one wall red to make it look normal? Wasn't it? It was.
Let's go powder our noses.
You'd need a lot of powder.
- We'll be right back.
Come on, hon.
- Okay.
Honey no matter how many beers you buy me tonight I'm not the one going home with you.
- So concentrate on the one who might.
- What? You haven't said a word to Jackson all night.
- I haven't, have I? - No.
- I know, I'm just so nervous.
- You're nervous? You don't have a guy staring at you like he's Cher and you're the kid from Mask.
I can't think of anything to say.
- To Jackson? - Yes, to Jackson.
Yes, because to me, tonight, there's been no off button.
I just This place is too fancy, my hair is too tight and this dress is all wrong.
- And he looks really good, doesn't he? - Yeah, he does.
I know I'm being crazy.
No, you're putting too much pressure on this whole evening.
Look, in five seconds, I could take your hair down we could go someplace more casual and personally, I think you're wrong about the dress.
- Really? - Yes.
Come on, let's go to Luke's.
Have burgers, talk, relax.
No pressure, no stress.
Unless I wind up stepping on Rune, which might be fun.
- That would be great.
- Okay.
- Come on.
- All right.
Okay, what about movies? You must have a favorite movie.
- Yes, I do! - Great.
What is it? Beethoven.
Beethoven? The one with the dog? There's this scene where this little dog is running around with a huge cabbage in its mouth.
Man, it's classic.
I shot my Dr.
Pepper right out of my nose! I swear.
Welcome to Luke's.
- This is much better.
- It is, isn't it? Grab a seat, I'll get the menus.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Four menus, one coffee, and an anvil, please.
What's the anvil for? - For Rune.
- What's a rune? - Please, not that question again.
- Okay.
Here you go.
- Mind if I hang out here a sec? - Why? What's going on over there? Sookie and Jackson are on their first date.
- Seems to be going well.
- I think I'd wear blue to the wedding.
- Who's the other guy? - Jackson's cousin.
He's my date.
- Lucky girl.
- Yes, I think so.
He is, believe it or not, even less thrilled with the matchup than I am.
- You're kidding.
Why? - I'm too tall.
- Get out.
- I'm serious.
Doesn't he understand how great that is? You can get all the stuff from the top shelf.
That is exactly what I bring to a relationship.
Explain that to him, will you? Luke, that is an exceptionally good batch of coffee.
- Yeah? - Hello! I added a little nutmeg.
- Really? - Yes.
That's very Richard Simmons of you.
What can I say? Chicks dig a man with a feminine side.
- Okay, I'm really bored.
- Sit down.
We're about ready to order.
I don't wanna order.
I don't wanna eat here.
I wanna go.
- Rune.
- Jackson.
I came out with you tonight under the impression that I'd have fun.
First I get stuck with her.
Then I get dragged to a French restaurant, then out of it.
- God knows where I am now.
- You're at Luke's.
I've been very patient.
Sunday night's almost over.
I wanna go bowling.
- Well, I - And I'd like you to go bowling with me.
Well I guess we should - Don't go! - Really? Yes.
Stay here.
We haven't really even started our date yet.
No, we haven't.
Sorry, Rune.
You're on your own tonight.
Fine! I'll just see you at home then.
- Maybe.
- Bye, loon.
Finally.
Guess you'll only need three menus now.
Why don't you make up three fabulous cheeseburgers and send two over there? I'll have mine here.
First I gotta watch a man walk out on you, then watch you eat alone? Nope.
Too pathetic.
- I'm not eating alone.
You're here.
- I'm working.
But after three cheeseburgers, you're done - unless you're expecting Elijah to stop by.
- Okay, fine.
- Five card draw.
- You're on.
Give me four.
No, four more.
You can't have four more, those are the four I dealt you.
These don't help me, and I've vowed to discard anything negative in my life.
- First Rune, and now these four cards.
- Whatever you say.
Much better.
Thank you.
Rune knew when to run away.
- God, that's nice.
- Yep.
The whole first date beginning of the relationship glow.
- Everything's new and exciting.
- Every joke is hilarious.
Every little touch is incredible.
- God, that's a good feeling.
- It is at that.
- I miss that.
- You'll have it again.
I guess.
Maybe sometime we could - Where are the girls? - What? - Lane said she's with you and Rory.
- Slow down.
I call, no answer.
I think they're at video store.
I call again, no answer.
I call third time, no answer! - You had a lot of free time.
- Where are the girls? - They said they're going to a movie.
- With who? They were gonna meet Dean.
A boy? You let them go with a boy? Mrs.
Kim, Dean is Rory's boyfriend.
Because you let your daughter run around with boys doesn't mean I let mine.
- I thought you knew.
- I didn't know! They could be anywhere, doing anything.
Smoking or drinking or buying drugs! They're at the movies.
There's no drugs there.
They don't even have the real Red Vines.
- I need to find them.
- I'm coming with.
- Good flick.
- Yeah, not bad.
Lane, what did you think? I think it's late and I should be getting home.
- Really? - Yeah, but it's been fun.
No, come on.
Let's go get some ice cream or something.
Eat it really fast, get that freezy brain thing going.
It's cool.
- So tempting, and yet - Lane Kim! - My mom.
- My mom.
Two moms.
That's gotta be bad.
I was just about to - Mom, I can - So not the time.
- You lied to me.
- Sorry.
Get home, right now! - Rough family.
- What's going on? Bits of information were left out of the mom packets tonight.
I'm sorry.
Mother and daughter number two are leaving now.
Say bye, Rory.
- Bye.
- I'll call you later.
- I'll call you tomorrow.
- Yeah.
Bye, Dean.
That's Rory's mom? She's a babe, man! - And what were you thinking? - I know.
You lied to me.
What's that nonsense all about? - I know I shouldn't have done that.
- Damn right, you shouldn't have.
But Lane wanted to go out with Todd.
She couldn't tell her mother.
So I didn't tell you so you wouldn't have to lie for us.
You lied to me so I wouldn't lie to Mrs.
Kim? - Yeah.
- My God.
You really are my daughter.
I'm sorry.
I have to know where you are, especially when you have my shoes on.
I know.
This trust thing only works if it goes both ways.
- I hated doing it.
- Good.
- Would you have? - What? - Lied for us? - To Mrs.
Kim? - Yeah.
- No.
- Why? - Because that lady's scary.
I can't lie to another mother.
That's breaking the code.
So what were we supposed to do tonight? I know Mrs.
Kim and Robert Duvall in The Great Santini share a striking resemblance.
But she is Lane's mom.
She has the right to tell her she can't do something.
You have to respect that and I really have to respect that.
- So we were in a no-win situation tonight? - Yep.
- Great.
- Sorry.
You know the one good thing we learned from this? - What? - That I'm a babe.
Hey.
- What's up, Rapunzel? - Don't take it the wrong way but in all my fantasies of who may appear at this window you never actually made the list.
So how are you? I haven't heard from you in days.
I'm okay, I guess.
- I was afraid to call.
- I think that's best for now.
Your mom's really mad? The words convent and Siberia were used several times and at least once as a combo.
- I'm really sorry.
- It's not your fault.
I shouldn't have arranged it.
You arranged it because I asked, and I'm glad you did.
You are? If you hadn't set me up with Todd, I'd still be in love with him.
Not the guy for you? Or for anybody who can read, write, talk, or function on a basic human level.
I'm sorry.
I was so bored I couldn't see straight.
I've been on Korean meditation weekends that have had more laughs.
He liked you, though.
Dean told me.
- I know.
He called.
- You're kidding.
I pretended to be my mom and wouldn't let me speak to him.
- Was that mean? - I think he'll survive.
He and Dean went muffler shopping today.
That's nice.
- How long before you can get out? - I don't know.
I have to be in the house at all times, except for school and church.
- She didn't give you any time frame at all? - Nope.
- I miss you.
- I miss you, too.
Is there anything I can do? Yeah.
Don't tell anyone I went out with Todd, okay? I promise.
- I gotta go.
- Bye.
You break, you buy.
- But it was sticking out in the aisle.
- You break, you buy! I didn't put it in the aisle.
- You have eyes? - Yes.
- These eyes work? - Yes.
- They can make out shapes, sizes, colors? - Yes, they can do all that Eyes work! They see lamp in aisle, they send message to brain: 'Lamp in aisle, move.
' You move, you don't break lamp.
You have no eyes, not my problem, it's between you and them.
You break, you buy! We appreciate your business.
- Hello.
- Hi.
I was wondering if I could maybe talk to you for a minute.
- I'm working.
- Right.
This is gonna be so quick, you'll be amazed.
Fine.
Come.
Look, I am really sorry about what happened the other night.
- Rory's never lied to me like that before.
- That you know of.
No, I'm pretty sure that was the first time, and it definitely was the last.
- Fine.
- I just didn't want you to feel like you couldn't send Lane over to our house anymore.
Because you can, believe me.
Those girls go nowhere without me knowing about it.
In fact, I was thinking of having some house arrest ankle bracelets made.
Maybe cute ones with a leopard print or zebra stripes.
Maybe a little glitter design.
Lane won't be coming over.
She'll stay in our house.
I was talking about later.
She's not gonna be grounded forever, is she? Lane lied to me, and she must be punished.
I totally agree.
But she's a really good kid.
I don't think I've ever met a kid who respects her parents more than Lane does.
Lying is not showing respect.
She's 16.
She had a crush on a boy.
Lane is not allowed to date boys unless we have approved them.
She knows our rules.
She broke them.
That is unacceptable.
Okay.
Yes, you're right.
But teenagers sometimes slip up.
I don't care what teenagers do.
I care what Lane does.
It doesn't always work to lock a kid up and throw away the key.
I didn't throw away the key.
It's in the kitchen.
Okay.
I was talking symbolically but all right, I'm with you now.
When I was a teenager, my parents tried to keep me locked up.
They tried to force me to become what they had in mind.
I'm not talking exactly about Lane here, but in my case, it really didn't work.
You blame your parents for getting pregnant? No.
I think if I'd had a little more space or someone to listen to me things might have turned out different.
I got lucky.
Because having Rory Totally the best thing that could have happened.
But let's be honest.
I certainly don't want Rory to turn out like me.
I don't want Lane to turn out like you either.
I believe that's the first thing you and I have ever agreed on.
- I just want Lane to be safe.
- I just want Rory to be safe.
I'm gonna go now.
I think you are doing a great job with Lane.
She's a really great kid.
I just wanted to put my two cents in, because that's what I do.
Bye.
I know, 'You break, you buy.
' I heard earlier.
That's $35, right? An 'A' minus.
I am very impressed.
- Annoying boy in back of me - Yes? 'B' plus.
- Loser.
I know.
It's all very exciting.
Did I tell you Sookie and Jackson have another date tonight? - What is that, the third one this week? - Yeah.
- That is so great.
- I know it is.
But if she tells me the story of how Jackson cultivates mealworms to help fertilize his plants again I'm gonna Romeo and Juliet them.
- It's sweet.
- Mealworms.
Gross, but sweet.
You know the rules: No pages before French fries.
- My God, it's Lane.
- You're kidding.
Give me your cell phone, quick.
- Where are you going? - Outside.
- Why? - Luke hates cell phones.
- So? - I don't want to incur the wrath of Luke.
- Why not? It's fun.
- I'll be back.
Goody-goody.
- Rory? - Lane? - I'm standing in the yard! - Oh, my God! She let you out? - I can go as far as the sign! - That's so great! - Hi.
- Hey.
I haven't seen you since the other night.
Everything okay? Yeah, fine.
The dating world of 16-year-old girls.
Very exciting stuff.
I bet.
- Coffee? - Do you have to ask? I had a good time the other night with the cards.
- Yeah.
Me, too.
- Good.
Yeah, in fact you rushed out of here before I had a chance to A chance to? Kick your ass in poker.
You wish.
- Burger? - Two, and fries.
Maybe we could do it again sometime.
Yeah, I would like that.
Here.
- Where are you going? - Lane's allowed out for 15 minutes.
I'm gonna yell at her from across the street.
- Still want your burger? - I'll be back.
Yell hi for me!