Gintama (2005) s01e12 Episode Script
People Who Make Good First Impressions Usually Suck!
Francesca is the princess of Norsteinberg, a small country in Europe.
Bored and sheltered, she escapes her butler's watchful eyes while traveling.
She meets a thief, Don Pierre.
Francesca keeps fighting with this playboy, but she accidentally discovers that he really is her blood brother.
Now, the secret society "Black Rose Squad" is after them! Will Francesca be able to adjust to society after being a slacker for so long? What about Jyunichi and Satoru's forbidden love? That is totally not true! Not even close! Ohh Anime is such a wonderful thing! Hey! [New Staff at Snack House Otose, moe character with cat ears?.]
[Is Shinpachi afraid of fried eggs? Kagura is always drowsy.
.]
The flower-lined path to the stage of the floating world [Narrator: Ryoko Kinomiya.]
has both a top side, and a bottom side.
Those whose lives blossom have their songs, and for those whose lives do not, songs are all they have.
Today, as everyday, lonely men and women wander about, bringing their cold bodies together at a place where they laugh while hiding their tears with their drinks.
[Snack House.]
A tiny snack house.
Light spilling through its door.
[Snack House.]
The music sinks deeply into their hearts.
[Kabukicho 1st Street.]
Stop! You bastard! Man, I'm so drunk.
Watch your step, Mu.
You've had quite a lot to drink.
That's nothing! You can't even call that "drinking.
" I'll come back again.
You're the only one, Otose, who listens to my stories.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I turn away boring customers! Yes, yes, I know.
Meow.
Oh, it's just a stray cat.
Are you hungry? Come on in.
If the bar's leftovers are okay with you, then I'll feed you some.
[People Who Make Good First Impressions Usually Suck.]
Can't your mouth say anything other than "wait on the rent"? I'm sick and tired of hearing that.
At least once in a while, couldn't you say, "advance payment," or "thank you," or "you're looking beautiful as usual.
" You're so inconsiderate.
If all I have to do is say it, I'll say it all you want.
It's just "You're looking beautifulas usual.
" I can't do it.
My mouth is saying "No, no, no!" Such a useless mouth.
You should sew it shut! Shall I do it for you? With a kite string and a needle? Go away! My mouth is for strawberry milk and chocolate parfaits.
If you have the time to drink baby stuff like that, then cough up some of the rent you owe! My life is more important than rent.
You're an idiot.
An idiot with "stupid" on top for good measure.
I'll add "shitty" too, if you like.
You shitty stupid idiot.
Oh yeah! It takes one to know one, you know! Idiot, idiot, idiot.
It's not just your taste buds.
Are your brains at the level of a preschooler, too? Extra helpings? This ain't no lunch counter, you get me? Stop drinking your rice! For a while now, you haven't been eating your rice, you've been drinking it! This is a place for creepy old men to simultaneously drink themselves sick and indulge their sick minds.
A "Snack" house, If you catch my meaning! A meal isn't a sport! If you put charcoal inside and cook it, the chlorine smell goes away.
It's a pearl of wisdom from my grandmother.
Are you trying to suck up to me? In a roundabout way, you're saying it doesn't taste good.
Normally, the sound you make when you eat rice is pakupaku, but in your case Oh! You fool! The most expensive thing here is not the smile that seals a lie.
It's those dried garnishes! I'll add it separately to your rent.
N-No way For guys who can't wipe their own backsides, helping other people is ludicrous.
I never could reach around back there.
You could at least leave a little for us.
I didn't mean it literally.
Dried foods make me thirsty.
Oolong tea, please.
Yes.
Why drink oolong tea here when you can get it at the supermarket in a plastic bottle for 358 yen?! That's as outrageous as some rich guy who burns a wad of bills in the foyer looking for his shoes! Do something about her! At this rate, all the money in the world isn't going to be enough! Not that we ever had any.
Yeah, you're right.
We could work honest jobs! Yeah.
Or we could seriously walk out on our bills! Yeah.
At this point, I'm desperate! I'll kill you and take my own life, too! Calm down.
How apathetic can you be?! You can't even decide to run away, much less have the courage to stand up to something! The stress of modern education without a father is showing up here! Aw, shut up! Once you've come of age, it isn't your parents' fault anymore.
Do something about it yourself.
You haven't done anything about the rent! Pipe down.
Even if your parents die, you still have to eat and rest.
Good grief.
Blood! Blood! Blood! Uhare you all right? Press on it with this.
Haven't seen your face before.
You new here? Yes.
I've been working here from a while back.
I'm Catherine.
She came to earth to make some money.
She works hard to send money back home.
Pleased to meetchu.
She's good with the customers, and does a good job.
It's no big deal at all.
That's impressive.
And she even has a great sense of humor.
Oh? Really? Someone around here has absolutely no talent for humor.
The other one lives only to satisfy her hunger.
I can't eat any more.
Of course not.
Well, there may be difficult moments, tough moments and unbearable moments, but hang in there.
Thank you very much.
You might think things are difficult now, but in the future, it's gonna get a lot worse.
If you keep that in mind, you can endure it.
What are you, a genuine masochist? Come back soon.
You golden parachute bastard! The money! Th-The money The money! I'm so hungryso hungry.
Shut up.
Then why don't you just go home! You probably have food there.
My sister is home today.
My sister's there, cooking.
Shin, today we're having fried egg and fried egg and fried egg.
Sis's fried eggs make me see things I'm not supposed to see.
Did you know, Gin? A kind of canned herring called Surstrà mming has a smell that even cats run away from.
They say smelly things taste good.
Gin, did you know? The Inuit people, after killing a caribou, apparently eat even the gunky contents of the stomach.
It must be warm and delicious.
Gin, did you know? When an owl catches a baby mouse, it feeds it to fatten it in its nest before eating it.
It must be plump and juicy for sure.
There are so many delicious things in the world.
When I think about it, the rent here isn't all that low, is it? There must be a ton of other places that are cheaper than this.
You know, Gin What the?! Our emergency funds! That borderline-diabetic rat bastard! I thought I got into a really great company! At that time anyway.
Huh? Where're my cigarettes? Oh come now.
You just sent Catherine out to buy some.
What? Did I? Yes, you did.
You're too much.
She sure is taking long, though.
How far did that girl go? Hey.
On an errand? That old hag is a real taskmaster.
Y-Yes, I am.
I came to buy Mu's cigarettes I see.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Anyway, this area is like a garbage dump where the trash piles up.
What I want to say is the two of us are alike, we're both trash.
No, trash isn't the right word.
We're both boogers in the same nostril.
In the same potpanspoon.
I understand.
You're a good person.
All of you are good people.
You both from around here? What's it to you? Have a look.
So? Can I get you to cooperate with an investigation? Is this everyone? Did something happen? Yes, there have been several robberies in the vicinity.
Sixteen since the start of this month.
That's pretty troubling.
Says the thief who stole the money! It's obvious by that sweet breath of yours? The perp appears to be an Amanto.
It's still under investigation.
I thought you might have heard any disturbing rumors.
In that case, I have heard one.
She's your suspect.
What the hell did you do that for?! Man who makes bad jokes get finger broken.
Never heard of that! I was just trying to show you a way to return to your hometown for free.
Deportation isn't free.
No sir, I'd be returning home in disgrace.
You're in no position to be choosy! Worst comes to worst, I'll just hold onto the side of ship and go home like that.
No! Zero! Did that on the trip here! I'll manage! That's a cold calculation.
I'll be fine.
Even if she's thrown out into space, she'll have no problem surviving.
I'm not a cockroach! How dare you say that! Apologize to the cockroaches! Apologize to the cockroaches, the greatest survivors on Earth! Am Iin the way here? No way! Anyway, we don't have the kind of money that someone would steal.
Well, if anything does happen, we'll let you know.
Please do.
The inside of my mouth tastes awful! I shouldn't drink sweet milk beverages just before going to bed.
Okay, I've taken another step up towards becoming an adult.
But I'm going down the steps.
Why am I doing my own two-man comedy routine? What? Working overtime? Couldn't be.
I'm starving.
I'm sooooo sorry! Forgive me for interrupting your midnight tryst! I'll disappear.
Please enjoy your dazzling world of pleasure! Hey.
Dopes.
Prostrate yourselves before my power.
You're sleepwalking.
What was that dream? What's it about? A brandy glass and cat? How empty a man's life is.
Hey! So what evil sheriff was that? Huh? That looks like my scooter.
You're all good people.
Now that you mention it, the umbrella in the back looks exactly like mine.
That's the bar's cash register! What the hell are you doing at this hour of the night? Catherine?! Bye, rotten old hag.
Moor-ons! That ugly pig-faced cow! Tonight, I drink your blood! Wh-What the?! Help! Seiya! Give me a break! Just a minute.
What're you guys doing? Where are you going? Waaaaaait! They're gone.
They drove off! Dammit! Seiya! I'm scared! Shut up! Old hag! What's that? I hate cats! Hey! I think we just moved past Catherine in the felony count! There! Catherine! Die! Catherine! Deaaatthhhhh! What? What?! Too bad.
I rather liked you.
That part about you supporting your family.
Was that a lie, too? Otose.
You're a good person.
But you're such a dope.
It's okay to like helping people.
But if you overdo it, bad people like me will take advantage of you.
It's part of my character.
Too late to change.
It's how I got to meet some interesting people.
Want to hear about it? No, hear me out.
It's the least you can do.
There was a man, you see.
It was a cold, snowy day.
On a whim, I went out to visit my late husband's grave.
Hey, Granny! Mind if I eat those dumplings? I'm so hungry I'm about to croak.
These aren't for me.
I gave them to my husband.
Ask him.
Oh yeah? Okay, then What did my husband say? When I asked him, do you know what he said? Don't know.
I have no interest in the rambling of strangers.
"Dead men don't talk," he said.
"I won't ever forget this debt.
" "After all, you're an old lady.
Probably going to kick the bucket soon.
" "But until that happens, I'll watch over her for you," he said.
You're going to watch over me? Let's see what you can do, then.
Nice way to show her gratitude to you for giving her a job.
People who can't keep their obligations are simply hideous, old hag.
Like someone who lives on the second floor of someone's house without paying rent? People are all kind of hideous, in a way.
You're talking nonsense.
Thank you for cooperating with our investigation.
You turned out to be quite the stray cat.
Cats are animals that claw at things, though.
You hit the nail on the head.
It's too late for you to change now.
But if you're down and out and need a meal in the future, come by the back of the shop.
I'll let you have some leftovers.
Otose, you're a fool.
However It's the first time I've seen you not get angry when someone called you a fool.
I have my moments.
Since you did me a favor today.
I'll let you have this month's rent free.
You serious?! Thanks, granny! I'll be sure to pay the month after next! Heck, I'll write off all of the late rent you owe me.
And the month after next to boot.
Yippee! Yippee! Stop trying to act cute.
A light and fleeting act of compassion when it touches you, you feel a warmth.
A penetrating, heartfelt song that warms one's frozen fingertips.
[Location: Kabukicho.]
[Preview.]
While looking for Ham for our client, we got involved in a tight situation.
"Harusame", the biggest crime syndicate in the galaxy?! Who do you think you are, Frieza?! Butthead! The next episode: "If You're Going to Cosplay, Go All Out" [He said looking for Ham, but it's really a person.
.]
["Harusame", the Biggest Crime Syndicate in the galaxy.
Going into a serious episode of Gintama?.]
[Moe~.]
I'm a cat-eared moe character, too.
Bored and sheltered, she escapes her butler's watchful eyes while traveling.
She meets a thief, Don Pierre.
Francesca keeps fighting with this playboy, but she accidentally discovers that he really is her blood brother.
Now, the secret society "Black Rose Squad" is after them! Will Francesca be able to adjust to society after being a slacker for so long? What about Jyunichi and Satoru's forbidden love? That is totally not true! Not even close! Ohh Anime is such a wonderful thing! Hey! [New Staff at Snack House Otose, moe character with cat ears?.]
[Is Shinpachi afraid of fried eggs? Kagura is always drowsy.
.]
The flower-lined path to the stage of the floating world [Narrator: Ryoko Kinomiya.]
has both a top side, and a bottom side.
Those whose lives blossom have their songs, and for those whose lives do not, songs are all they have.
Today, as everyday, lonely men and women wander about, bringing their cold bodies together at a place where they laugh while hiding their tears with their drinks.
[Snack House.]
A tiny snack house.
Light spilling through its door.
[Snack House.]
The music sinks deeply into their hearts.
[Kabukicho 1st Street.]
Stop! You bastard! Man, I'm so drunk.
Watch your step, Mu.
You've had quite a lot to drink.
That's nothing! You can't even call that "drinking.
" I'll come back again.
You're the only one, Otose, who listens to my stories.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I turn away boring customers! Yes, yes, I know.
Meow.
Oh, it's just a stray cat.
Are you hungry? Come on in.
If the bar's leftovers are okay with you, then I'll feed you some.
[People Who Make Good First Impressions Usually Suck.]
Can't your mouth say anything other than "wait on the rent"? I'm sick and tired of hearing that.
At least once in a while, couldn't you say, "advance payment," or "thank you," or "you're looking beautiful as usual.
" You're so inconsiderate.
If all I have to do is say it, I'll say it all you want.
It's just "You're looking beautifulas usual.
" I can't do it.
My mouth is saying "No, no, no!" Such a useless mouth.
You should sew it shut! Shall I do it for you? With a kite string and a needle? Go away! My mouth is for strawberry milk and chocolate parfaits.
If you have the time to drink baby stuff like that, then cough up some of the rent you owe! My life is more important than rent.
You're an idiot.
An idiot with "stupid" on top for good measure.
I'll add "shitty" too, if you like.
You shitty stupid idiot.
Oh yeah! It takes one to know one, you know! Idiot, idiot, idiot.
It's not just your taste buds.
Are your brains at the level of a preschooler, too? Extra helpings? This ain't no lunch counter, you get me? Stop drinking your rice! For a while now, you haven't been eating your rice, you've been drinking it! This is a place for creepy old men to simultaneously drink themselves sick and indulge their sick minds.
A "Snack" house, If you catch my meaning! A meal isn't a sport! If you put charcoal inside and cook it, the chlorine smell goes away.
It's a pearl of wisdom from my grandmother.
Are you trying to suck up to me? In a roundabout way, you're saying it doesn't taste good.
Normally, the sound you make when you eat rice is pakupaku, but in your case Oh! You fool! The most expensive thing here is not the smile that seals a lie.
It's those dried garnishes! I'll add it separately to your rent.
N-No way For guys who can't wipe their own backsides, helping other people is ludicrous.
I never could reach around back there.
You could at least leave a little for us.
I didn't mean it literally.
Dried foods make me thirsty.
Oolong tea, please.
Yes.
Why drink oolong tea here when you can get it at the supermarket in a plastic bottle for 358 yen?! That's as outrageous as some rich guy who burns a wad of bills in the foyer looking for his shoes! Do something about her! At this rate, all the money in the world isn't going to be enough! Not that we ever had any.
Yeah, you're right.
We could work honest jobs! Yeah.
Or we could seriously walk out on our bills! Yeah.
At this point, I'm desperate! I'll kill you and take my own life, too! Calm down.
How apathetic can you be?! You can't even decide to run away, much less have the courage to stand up to something! The stress of modern education without a father is showing up here! Aw, shut up! Once you've come of age, it isn't your parents' fault anymore.
Do something about it yourself.
You haven't done anything about the rent! Pipe down.
Even if your parents die, you still have to eat and rest.
Good grief.
Blood! Blood! Blood! Uhare you all right? Press on it with this.
Haven't seen your face before.
You new here? Yes.
I've been working here from a while back.
I'm Catherine.
She came to earth to make some money.
She works hard to send money back home.
Pleased to meetchu.
She's good with the customers, and does a good job.
It's no big deal at all.
That's impressive.
And she even has a great sense of humor.
Oh? Really? Someone around here has absolutely no talent for humor.
The other one lives only to satisfy her hunger.
I can't eat any more.
Of course not.
Well, there may be difficult moments, tough moments and unbearable moments, but hang in there.
Thank you very much.
You might think things are difficult now, but in the future, it's gonna get a lot worse.
If you keep that in mind, you can endure it.
What are you, a genuine masochist? Come back soon.
You golden parachute bastard! The money! Th-The money The money! I'm so hungryso hungry.
Shut up.
Then why don't you just go home! You probably have food there.
My sister is home today.
My sister's there, cooking.
Shin, today we're having fried egg and fried egg and fried egg.
Sis's fried eggs make me see things I'm not supposed to see.
Did you know, Gin? A kind of canned herring called Surstrà mming has a smell that even cats run away from.
They say smelly things taste good.
Gin, did you know? The Inuit people, after killing a caribou, apparently eat even the gunky contents of the stomach.
It must be warm and delicious.
Gin, did you know? When an owl catches a baby mouse, it feeds it to fatten it in its nest before eating it.
It must be plump and juicy for sure.
There are so many delicious things in the world.
When I think about it, the rent here isn't all that low, is it? There must be a ton of other places that are cheaper than this.
You know, Gin What the?! Our emergency funds! That borderline-diabetic rat bastard! I thought I got into a really great company! At that time anyway.
Huh? Where're my cigarettes? Oh come now.
You just sent Catherine out to buy some.
What? Did I? Yes, you did.
You're too much.
She sure is taking long, though.
How far did that girl go? Hey.
On an errand? That old hag is a real taskmaster.
Y-Yes, I am.
I came to buy Mu's cigarettes I see.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Anyway, this area is like a garbage dump where the trash piles up.
What I want to say is the two of us are alike, we're both trash.
No, trash isn't the right word.
We're both boogers in the same nostril.
In the same potpanspoon.
I understand.
You're a good person.
All of you are good people.
You both from around here? What's it to you? Have a look.
So? Can I get you to cooperate with an investigation? Is this everyone? Did something happen? Yes, there have been several robberies in the vicinity.
Sixteen since the start of this month.
That's pretty troubling.
Says the thief who stole the money! It's obvious by that sweet breath of yours? The perp appears to be an Amanto.
It's still under investigation.
I thought you might have heard any disturbing rumors.
In that case, I have heard one.
She's your suspect.
What the hell did you do that for?! Man who makes bad jokes get finger broken.
Never heard of that! I was just trying to show you a way to return to your hometown for free.
Deportation isn't free.
No sir, I'd be returning home in disgrace.
You're in no position to be choosy! Worst comes to worst, I'll just hold onto the side of ship and go home like that.
No! Zero! Did that on the trip here! I'll manage! That's a cold calculation.
I'll be fine.
Even if she's thrown out into space, she'll have no problem surviving.
I'm not a cockroach! How dare you say that! Apologize to the cockroaches! Apologize to the cockroaches, the greatest survivors on Earth! Am Iin the way here? No way! Anyway, we don't have the kind of money that someone would steal.
Well, if anything does happen, we'll let you know.
Please do.
The inside of my mouth tastes awful! I shouldn't drink sweet milk beverages just before going to bed.
Okay, I've taken another step up towards becoming an adult.
But I'm going down the steps.
Why am I doing my own two-man comedy routine? What? Working overtime? Couldn't be.
I'm starving.
I'm sooooo sorry! Forgive me for interrupting your midnight tryst! I'll disappear.
Please enjoy your dazzling world of pleasure! Hey.
Dopes.
Prostrate yourselves before my power.
You're sleepwalking.
What was that dream? What's it about? A brandy glass and cat? How empty a man's life is.
Hey! So what evil sheriff was that? Huh? That looks like my scooter.
You're all good people.
Now that you mention it, the umbrella in the back looks exactly like mine.
That's the bar's cash register! What the hell are you doing at this hour of the night? Catherine?! Bye, rotten old hag.
Moor-ons! That ugly pig-faced cow! Tonight, I drink your blood! Wh-What the?! Help! Seiya! Give me a break! Just a minute.
What're you guys doing? Where are you going? Waaaaaait! They're gone.
They drove off! Dammit! Seiya! I'm scared! Shut up! Old hag! What's that? I hate cats! Hey! I think we just moved past Catherine in the felony count! There! Catherine! Die! Catherine! Deaaatthhhhh! What? What?! Too bad.
I rather liked you.
That part about you supporting your family.
Was that a lie, too? Otose.
You're a good person.
But you're such a dope.
It's okay to like helping people.
But if you overdo it, bad people like me will take advantage of you.
It's part of my character.
Too late to change.
It's how I got to meet some interesting people.
Want to hear about it? No, hear me out.
It's the least you can do.
There was a man, you see.
It was a cold, snowy day.
On a whim, I went out to visit my late husband's grave.
Hey, Granny! Mind if I eat those dumplings? I'm so hungry I'm about to croak.
These aren't for me.
I gave them to my husband.
Ask him.
Oh yeah? Okay, then What did my husband say? When I asked him, do you know what he said? Don't know.
I have no interest in the rambling of strangers.
"Dead men don't talk," he said.
"I won't ever forget this debt.
" "After all, you're an old lady.
Probably going to kick the bucket soon.
" "But until that happens, I'll watch over her for you," he said.
You're going to watch over me? Let's see what you can do, then.
Nice way to show her gratitude to you for giving her a job.
People who can't keep their obligations are simply hideous, old hag.
Like someone who lives on the second floor of someone's house without paying rent? People are all kind of hideous, in a way.
You're talking nonsense.
Thank you for cooperating with our investigation.
You turned out to be quite the stray cat.
Cats are animals that claw at things, though.
You hit the nail on the head.
It's too late for you to change now.
But if you're down and out and need a meal in the future, come by the back of the shop.
I'll let you have some leftovers.
Otose, you're a fool.
However It's the first time I've seen you not get angry when someone called you a fool.
I have my moments.
Since you did me a favor today.
I'll let you have this month's rent free.
You serious?! Thanks, granny! I'll be sure to pay the month after next! Heck, I'll write off all of the late rent you owe me.
And the month after next to boot.
Yippee! Yippee! Stop trying to act cute.
A light and fleeting act of compassion when it touches you, you feel a warmth.
A penetrating, heartfelt song that warms one's frozen fingertips.
[Location: Kabukicho.]
[Preview.]
While looking for Ham for our client, we got involved in a tight situation.
"Harusame", the biggest crime syndicate in the galaxy?! Who do you think you are, Frieza?! Butthead! The next episode: "If You're Going to Cosplay, Go All Out" [He said looking for Ham, but it's really a person.
.]
["Harusame", the Biggest Crime Syndicate in the galaxy.
Going into a serious episode of Gintama?.]
[Moe~.]
I'm a cat-eared moe character, too.