Green Eggs and Ham (2019) s01e12 Episode Script
There
1 Hey, guitar player Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic If you only knew How to laugh and dance Whether you're a pancakes Or waffles man We still got a whole lot left to learn If you only knew If you only knew We'll do something new Start a snowball fight in June If you only knew If you only knew Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic If you only knew How the game has changed You'd think it's kind of nice Even when it rains But take any advice With a grain of salt If you only knew If you only knew Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic Let me work my magic Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic [Guy and Sam scream.]
[Sam.]
Snuzzle me, Guy! One last time before we die! [narrator.]
Me? Oh, no, no, I get seasick in a jacuzzi, so Huh? Oh, I'm sorry.
Yes, we're back! [clears throat.]
[Sam.]
Never let go! [narrator.]
Our heroes are sinking with no hope at all.
And the Goat's taking Jenkins straight to Snerz's wall, just in time for his Gala, aka his grand ball.
- [gasps.]
- [gasps.]
- We're alive! - [coughs.]
[Guy sighs.]
[Sam speaking in pirate accent.]
Full steam ahead, me bucko! For Jenkins! [Guy grunts.]
[yelling.]
- [shellfish giggle.]
- [grunts.]
[Sam whistles.]
[Guy sighs.]
[grunts.]
For Jenkins.
[both.]
Whoa! [both yell.]
Huh? Hand over that Chickeraffe, Goat.
[laughs.]
We can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way, amigo.
I'm not your amigo, friend.
Ooh, I am! And let me just say [bleats.]
- Huh? - [Gluntz continues bleating.]
Hmm [bleating.]
And he's stupefied.
Where'd you learn to do that? BADGUY College.
I majored in animal linguistics.
Is he okay? Oh, yeah, yeah.
It just takes him back to a pleasant memory.
[screams.]
No! [clears throat.]
Uh, shouldn't those other two crooks be here by now? Looks like the Goat did our dirty work for us.
- We have our target.
- [Mr.
Jenkins squawking.]
Whoo! Up top! Uh, come on! Top shelf! There will be no celebratory hand touch.
Hmm? [bleating.]
You're getting sleepy.
[bleating.]
And now you are hypnotized.
You do realize I'm not a goat? Oh.
And why are you on all fours? Method acting? Well, it's not working.
[Sam.]
Oh, it's working, because it methodically distracted you.
Now! - [yells.]
- [grunts.]
[Gluntz exclaims.]
- No! - [grunts.]
[yells.]
[screams.]
[grunts.]
Guy! [McWinkle growls.]
Sam, no! As your best friend, I'm telling you to flee! Save Jenkins! Hold up.
Did you just say we're best friends? Yes! Now go! [Sam.]
For Jenkins! I don't like it when people touch my hat.
[growls.]
I'm sorry.
Wh-Whatever you do, please, don't hurt me.
[Sam cries.]
Why would we hurt you? We're the good guys.
[sobbing.]
Huh? Uh I-I thought you were the BADGUYS.
We are! But the name is kind of misleading.
[Guy.]
But Sam is a Wildlife Protector, too.
Isn't he? Are we almost there? [chuckles.]
Almost.
Gosh! It doesn't even feel like we're moving! Oh! [chuckles.]
The Park-and-Ride is deceptively fast.
Next stop, Lower Meepville! Come on! Tell me where we're going.
Please! It's a surprise! Are we by chance meeting up with Sam and your Guy? [giggles.]
My Guy? Guy is a guy a nice guy and But not necessarily [giggles.]
my Guy.
You so like him.
[chuckles.]
I do, and I hope we see them again soon, but they are not the surprise.
[laughs.]
[gasps.]
[sings.]
[squeals.]
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoo-hoo! [grunts.]
[Michellee.]
Whoo! Whoo, oh! Oh! [both laugh.]
[panting.]
[gasps.]
[riders screaming.]
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oop, oop, opp.
We're not going there.
We're going somewhere even better! Huh? Seriously? Come on.
Move it.
Huh? Sam-I-Am.
Aka the Furry Foot Bandit.
Aka Flim-Flam-I-Am.
Aka Sham Shamford.
Aka Dr.
Linda Schwartz.
[gasps.]
No! [McWinkle.]
Yes.
Your pal is a con man, a crook, a world-class heist-uoso.
No! He can't be.
He's protecting Mr.
Jenkins! He told me that we're taking him to Meepville to keep him safe.
- [gasps.]
- [growls.]
And you actually bought that? Think about it.
You two have been attached at the hip for days.
Did he really seem like a Wildlife Protector to you? [Guy.]
Everyone's after this beast! We're gonna be in a whole lot of trouble.
Trouble? Relax.
I am a licensed Wildlife Rescuer.
Shouldn't you know Chickeraffes can't fly, Mr.
Wildlife Expert? [chuckles.]
Biology isn't a science, Guy.
[echoes.]
science, Guy.
We're home free.
Everyone knows goats can't climb.
[Guy screams.]
What kind of wildlife expert are you? Goats are known especially for their climbing! - [Goat thumps carriage.]
- [both scream.]
[both screaming.]
We know the truth.
He stole the Chickeraffe to sell to a collector.
Collector? [McWinkle.]
Now My slightly unhinged partner is in the next room with your friend the Goat.
He's not my friend! - [growls.]
- Oh! I'm not interested in your social life! So tell me about your social life.
Do you hang out with other goats, or do you like to mix it up? Not talking.
[blows.]
[sips.]
Any hobbies? Not talking.
Interesting hobby! [whispering.]
Do you like board games? - No.
- [gasps.]
[shrieks.]
You monster! [Gluntz screams.]
I have no idea what kind of sick tactics she's using over there, but this I guarantee: One of you is gonna tell us the name of that collector.
The other one is gonna be in big trouble in a little cell.
Which one do you want to be? Think it over.
The freedom of one-seventeenth of the world's Chickeraffe population hangs in the balance.
So maybe consider that! [door closes.]
[narrator.]
Guy took a chance and opened his heart, but that sneak had been lying to him from the start! He felt like a fool, like a rube, like a clown.
Oh! [narrator.]
He'd let Sam-I-Am in, and that Sam let him down.
What's the mystery? - Where are we going? - [laughs.]
You'll see.
- [crosswalk signal dings.]
- [tires squeal.]
[upbeat music plays.]
Just one tiny hint? Fine! It's the most specialest place ever.
Here.
This is it! Wha Leaves you speechless, doesn't it? Come on! There's something really cool - I want to show you.
- Whoa! Mom, I thought I was pretty clear about this.
There was a roller coaster inside the [gasps.]
[exhales.]
Oh.
[laughs.]
[exhales.]
So? What do you think? This is so much better than a roller coaster.
This is my favorite spot in the whole world.
Oh! They're all so amazing! [gasps.]
But this one Oh, my gosh! This one is the beautifulest! [Michellee chuckles.]
That one's mine.
Yours? Like, you [Michellee.]
Painted it.
I painted it.
You? You painted that? But when? [chuckles.]
Back when you were very little, your dad and I lived here in Meepville, and this is what I did.
I was an artist.
Why in the world are you counting beans? Well, when your dad passed away, I wanted to make sure that I could take care of you, keep you safe.
I wanted a safe job in a safe place, so we moved to Glurfsburg.
[narrator.]
E.
B.
now saw her mom as more than her mother.
She's a person, with dreams, just like any other.
I'm sorry.
Whatever for? For making you give it up, being an artist.
Are you kidding? You're my greatest work of art.
[laughs.]
- Whoa! Whoa! [laughs.]
- [laughing.]
Mom, this is whimsilarating! - Oh! [laughs.]
Isn't it? - [laughing.]
- [Michellee laughs.]
- Whoa! [gasps.]
We need to go! It's almost time for the SnerzDay Gala! Your big bean count! You've been counting all year! Well, you know what? A couple more minutes here won't hurt, right? [sighs contentedly.]
[distant thudding.]
Huh? [thudding approaching.]
[footsteps thumping.]
What? [gasps.]
[warbling.]
Mr.
Jenkins.
[warbling.]
Whoa! There's my boo.
[growls.]
Hey! Whoa! Turn that frown uptown, buddy.
We're here to rescue you.
[squawks.]
[chuckles nervously.]
Ew! So what did I miss? Stop talking.
- But Guy - No.
Everything you've ever told me is a lie! You're a wanted criminal! It's nice to be wanted? - [chuckles nervously.]
- [grunts.]
But how could you sell Mr.
Jenkins? [squawks.]
[clucking sadly.]
When I stole him, he wasn't Mr.
Jenkins yet.
I made the deal with Snerz before I got to know the big fella.
Snerz is the collector? As in SnerzCo? - Yes.
- [purring.]
But the plan now is to reunite Jenkins with his family on Chickeraffe Island! - [squawking.]
- Promise.
I want to believe you.
But I can't.
You have to.
I may not be able to find my mother, but Jenkins's mom is a balloon ride away! Please.
You can trust me.
[squawks softly.]
No! Just get out of here! And leave Mr.
Jenkins with me.
I can't do that.
They'll put him back in a zoo.
You listen to me, Sam Ah-ah-ah.
That's your hupset voice.
You get upset when you're hungry.
Good thing I brought these.
[chuckles.]
Ta-da! They're really good right there, I'll bet.
[Guy.]
I do not like them, Sam-I-Am.
But you could.
I could not, would not, on a boat! I will not, will not, with a goat! I will not eat them in the rain! I will not eat them on a train! I do not like them here or there! I do not like them anywhere! I do not like green eggs and ham! I do not like them, Sam-I-Am! [warbles.]
So, that's a no? [yells.]
[panting.]
[Sam.]
Okay.
I know you're not happy about the little setback in our relationship.
We have no relationship.
It's not us I'm worried about.
I'll tell her you're innocent.
She'll believe me.
Oh, really, Mr.
Furry Foot Bandit? Who's she supposed to believe? Hector Jive? Bamboozle McHoaxypants? I only use Bamboozle McHoaxypants for hotels.
Why do you have so many aliases? Because nobody's nobody's ever wanted me to stay the same person before.
Nobody's ever stuck around long enough.
Well, there's a reason nobody's ever stuck around this long, Sam.
Believe me, I know.
Because I've tried.
I've tried you as a friend, and you don't fit.
You don't fit anybody.
Not even your own mother.
[gasps.]
[Mr.
Jenkins squawks softly.]
[narrator.]
Oh, dear! Guy's just upset.
I'm sure he didn't mean it.
Sam that last bit [narrator.]
But his words crushed poor Sam, whose heart cracked like a peanut.
[whimpering.]
I'm sorry, Sam.
- I'm sorry.
- No, no, no.
You're right.
Come on, Mr.
Jenkins.
No! Wait! Sam, you can't sell him! [footsteps depart.]
[door opens.]
The collector is Snerz.
[narrator.]
Sam and Jenkins are gone.
Guy's alone, and he's sad.
How did he let things get messed up so bad? He thought of Michellee.
Where once there was hope, now there was only Uh-uh.
Mm-hmm.
Eh-eh.
And nope! Guy had no friends left to stand in his way.
He can resume giving up on his dreams right away.
[male announcer.]
The SnerzDay Gala! We've made it! Everyone's here! Hello, Tonya! It's packed with attendees from far and from near! The inventors are ready to present their machines, and the counters have counted their very last beans.
But one thing is missing! The Cronies will laugh if Snerz can't produce his prize Chickeraffe! Where is it? Yes, Mr.
Snerz.
That wasn't a question.
No, it's not here yet! We need a distraction.
Start the show! [orchestra plays.]
[announcer.]
And now The man in charge! The man of your dreams! The man in charge of your dreams! Standing at four foot three four nine with the Flerz, graduated magna cum awesome from Snerz University - [gong sounds.]
- [mumbles.]
What? [announcer.]
Mr.
Hervnick Z.
Snerz! Hmm, yeah! [yells.]
[laughs.]
Yes.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Huh? [crickets chirping.]
- [growls.]
- [panting.]
Read it.
[crowd cheering and applauding.]
Thank you.
Thank you! You're too kind! Please, stop.
Stop! It's too much.
Stop! Wait.
Are we supposed to stop? [screams.]
Is this guy for real? [laughs nervously.]
Very much so.
[chuckles nervously.]
[laughs nervously.]
You should applaud, just to be safe.
And now, for a little slideshow.
[squeaking.]
[audience gasps.]
[groans in pain.]
[female Crony.]
Oh.
[laughs.]
Quit stalling, Snerzy! Shush! You're distracting me.
No, you're distracting us from the fact that there is no Chickeraffe! - Oh, that's right.
[laughs.]
- [laughs.]
[scoffs.]
[grumbles.]
[winces.]
Chickeraffe? [whimpers.]
[siren wailing in distance.]
[groans.]
[chuckles.]
Hmm.
Hmm.
Oh, pigment! [groans.]
[grunts.]
[sighs.]
- [Paint Watcher groaning.]
- [groans.]
[bell on door rings.]
[narrator.]
With Sam out of his life, Guy was drained of all fun.
Hey! Hello there! Oh, let me tell you about our specials.
- We have - [Guy.]
Oatmush.
Dry.
And a spoon.
[narrator.]
Oh, man! You're back where you were in Episode One! Oh, good choice.
One Sad Man's Special coming up.
And make it snappy.
I have an appointment upstairs.
Oh, are you one of the inventors here for the Gala? I knew it! [laughs.]
What brilliant idea did you come up with? I'm not an inventor.
I'm here to interview for a job watching paint.
Oh, yeah, right! Well, I'll get your food up right away.
Wouldn't want you to be late for giving up on all your hopes and dreams.
[fanfare plays on TV.]
Oh, look! There's the inventors now! Impress me.
The Hate-erator! It turns hatred into energy.
[chuckles.]
I hate it! - [electricity crackling.]
- [screams.]
[Hate-erator explodes.]
[audience.]
Whoa! [audience murmuring.]
Where is the blasted Chickeraffe? I will not be humiliated! Yes, yes, sir! I'll look into it, sir! [announcer.]
Bean counters to the stage.
Corporate stooges remain seated.
The bean count is next, honey, so you stay here and enjoy the show.
I'll be back in a bit.
Wait.
You're gonna leave me here by myself? I trust you.
Psst! [in sing-song.]
Snerzy! This show is great.
It has everything [whispers.]
except a Chickeraffe.
[Cronies laugh.]
[gasps.]
What's he doing here? [whispering indistinctly.]
Sam-I-Am.
Ha! - [laughs.]
- [female Crony.]
Oh.
What the Sam Hill? What is he up to? What? What? Okay.
That's weird.
Hey, hey, Mom! Mom! Excuse me? Can you go get my mom? She's up there, the formerly overprotective one with the beans? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! I can't disrupt the Gala.
Mr.
Snerz would be very upset.
Tell my mom I'll be right back! [sarcastically.]
Oh, sure.
I clearly have nothing better to do.
Thank you! Sorry I'm late.
I had to ditch some dead weight.
Any later, and you would've been the dead weight, you see, because I would've killed you.
Yes, killed you.
You'd be dead.
Dead weight.
- Ah.
[laughs.]
- [gasps.]
- [Snerz.]
Dead weight.
- Whoa.
[animals moaning.]
This is terrible! [animals grunting.]
[E.
B.
gasps.]
No! [echoing.]
No, no! [Snerz.]
It was incredibly clever wordplay.
I am a genius! - I have all the best words.
- Whoa! [Snerz.]
Have you got the goods? Yeah.
You got the bruckles? Whoa! Slow down, cowboy.
Let me see it first.
[gasps.]
[narrator.]
It's a sight E.
B.
wished her eyes could unsee.
- Excellent, Mr.
I-Am.
- [squawks nervously.]
[narrator.]
Looks like Sam never meant to set her pal free! Hey, guitar player Mmm New York's number-one cut creator Uh-huh, uh-huh Hey, speed skater T-t-t-t-take a right Let's put an ad in the papers Uh Backflip You know what to do Ooh Backflip You know what to do Ooh, let your freak flag fly Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic Let me work my magic Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic
[Sam.]
Snuzzle me, Guy! One last time before we die! [narrator.]
Me? Oh, no, no, I get seasick in a jacuzzi, so Huh? Oh, I'm sorry.
Yes, we're back! [clears throat.]
[Sam.]
Never let go! [narrator.]
Our heroes are sinking with no hope at all.
And the Goat's taking Jenkins straight to Snerz's wall, just in time for his Gala, aka his grand ball.
- [gasps.]
- [gasps.]
- We're alive! - [coughs.]
[Guy sighs.]
[Sam speaking in pirate accent.]
Full steam ahead, me bucko! For Jenkins! [Guy grunts.]
[yelling.]
- [shellfish giggle.]
- [grunts.]
[Sam whistles.]
[Guy sighs.]
[grunts.]
For Jenkins.
[both.]
Whoa! [both yell.]
Huh? Hand over that Chickeraffe, Goat.
[laughs.]
We can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way, amigo.
I'm not your amigo, friend.
Ooh, I am! And let me just say [bleats.]
- Huh? - [Gluntz continues bleating.]
Hmm [bleating.]
And he's stupefied.
Where'd you learn to do that? BADGUY College.
I majored in animal linguistics.
Is he okay? Oh, yeah, yeah.
It just takes him back to a pleasant memory.
[screams.]
No! [clears throat.]
Uh, shouldn't those other two crooks be here by now? Looks like the Goat did our dirty work for us.
- We have our target.
- [Mr.
Jenkins squawking.]
Whoo! Up top! Uh, come on! Top shelf! There will be no celebratory hand touch.
Hmm? [bleating.]
You're getting sleepy.
[bleating.]
And now you are hypnotized.
You do realize I'm not a goat? Oh.
And why are you on all fours? Method acting? Well, it's not working.
[Sam.]
Oh, it's working, because it methodically distracted you.
Now! - [yells.]
- [grunts.]
[Gluntz exclaims.]
- No! - [grunts.]
[yells.]
[screams.]
[grunts.]
Guy! [McWinkle growls.]
Sam, no! As your best friend, I'm telling you to flee! Save Jenkins! Hold up.
Did you just say we're best friends? Yes! Now go! [Sam.]
For Jenkins! I don't like it when people touch my hat.
[growls.]
I'm sorry.
Wh-Whatever you do, please, don't hurt me.
[Sam cries.]
Why would we hurt you? We're the good guys.
[sobbing.]
Huh? Uh I-I thought you were the BADGUYS.
We are! But the name is kind of misleading.
[Guy.]
But Sam is a Wildlife Protector, too.
Isn't he? Are we almost there? [chuckles.]
Almost.
Gosh! It doesn't even feel like we're moving! Oh! [chuckles.]
The Park-and-Ride is deceptively fast.
Next stop, Lower Meepville! Come on! Tell me where we're going.
Please! It's a surprise! Are we by chance meeting up with Sam and your Guy? [giggles.]
My Guy? Guy is a guy a nice guy and But not necessarily [giggles.]
my Guy.
You so like him.
[chuckles.]
I do, and I hope we see them again soon, but they are not the surprise.
[laughs.]
[gasps.]
[sings.]
[squeals.]
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoo-hoo! [grunts.]
[Michellee.]
Whoo! Whoo, oh! Oh! [both laugh.]
[panting.]
[gasps.]
[riders screaming.]
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oop, oop, opp.
We're not going there.
We're going somewhere even better! Huh? Seriously? Come on.
Move it.
Huh? Sam-I-Am.
Aka the Furry Foot Bandit.
Aka Flim-Flam-I-Am.
Aka Sham Shamford.
Aka Dr.
Linda Schwartz.
[gasps.]
No! [McWinkle.]
Yes.
Your pal is a con man, a crook, a world-class heist-uoso.
No! He can't be.
He's protecting Mr.
Jenkins! He told me that we're taking him to Meepville to keep him safe.
- [gasps.]
- [growls.]
And you actually bought that? Think about it.
You two have been attached at the hip for days.
Did he really seem like a Wildlife Protector to you? [Guy.]
Everyone's after this beast! We're gonna be in a whole lot of trouble.
Trouble? Relax.
I am a licensed Wildlife Rescuer.
Shouldn't you know Chickeraffes can't fly, Mr.
Wildlife Expert? [chuckles.]
Biology isn't a science, Guy.
[echoes.]
science, Guy.
We're home free.
Everyone knows goats can't climb.
[Guy screams.]
What kind of wildlife expert are you? Goats are known especially for their climbing! - [Goat thumps carriage.]
- [both scream.]
[both screaming.]
We know the truth.
He stole the Chickeraffe to sell to a collector.
Collector? [McWinkle.]
Now My slightly unhinged partner is in the next room with your friend the Goat.
He's not my friend! - [growls.]
- Oh! I'm not interested in your social life! So tell me about your social life.
Do you hang out with other goats, or do you like to mix it up? Not talking.
[blows.]
[sips.]
Any hobbies? Not talking.
Interesting hobby! [whispering.]
Do you like board games? - No.
- [gasps.]
[shrieks.]
You monster! [Gluntz screams.]
I have no idea what kind of sick tactics she's using over there, but this I guarantee: One of you is gonna tell us the name of that collector.
The other one is gonna be in big trouble in a little cell.
Which one do you want to be? Think it over.
The freedom of one-seventeenth of the world's Chickeraffe population hangs in the balance.
So maybe consider that! [door closes.]
[narrator.]
Guy took a chance and opened his heart, but that sneak had been lying to him from the start! He felt like a fool, like a rube, like a clown.
Oh! [narrator.]
He'd let Sam-I-Am in, and that Sam let him down.
What's the mystery? - Where are we going? - [laughs.]
You'll see.
- [crosswalk signal dings.]
- [tires squeal.]
[upbeat music plays.]
Just one tiny hint? Fine! It's the most specialest place ever.
Here.
This is it! Wha Leaves you speechless, doesn't it? Come on! There's something really cool - I want to show you.
- Whoa! Mom, I thought I was pretty clear about this.
There was a roller coaster inside the [gasps.]
[exhales.]
Oh.
[laughs.]
[exhales.]
So? What do you think? This is so much better than a roller coaster.
This is my favorite spot in the whole world.
Oh! They're all so amazing! [gasps.]
But this one Oh, my gosh! This one is the beautifulest! [Michellee chuckles.]
That one's mine.
Yours? Like, you [Michellee.]
Painted it.
I painted it.
You? You painted that? But when? [chuckles.]
Back when you were very little, your dad and I lived here in Meepville, and this is what I did.
I was an artist.
Why in the world are you counting beans? Well, when your dad passed away, I wanted to make sure that I could take care of you, keep you safe.
I wanted a safe job in a safe place, so we moved to Glurfsburg.
[narrator.]
E.
B.
now saw her mom as more than her mother.
She's a person, with dreams, just like any other.
I'm sorry.
Whatever for? For making you give it up, being an artist.
Are you kidding? You're my greatest work of art.
[laughs.]
- Whoa! Whoa! [laughs.]
- [laughing.]
Mom, this is whimsilarating! - Oh! [laughs.]
Isn't it? - [laughing.]
- [Michellee laughs.]
- Whoa! [gasps.]
We need to go! It's almost time for the SnerzDay Gala! Your big bean count! You've been counting all year! Well, you know what? A couple more minutes here won't hurt, right? [sighs contentedly.]
[distant thudding.]
Huh? [thudding approaching.]
[footsteps thumping.]
What? [gasps.]
[warbling.]
Mr.
Jenkins.
[warbling.]
Whoa! There's my boo.
[growls.]
Hey! Whoa! Turn that frown uptown, buddy.
We're here to rescue you.
[squawks.]
[chuckles nervously.]
Ew! So what did I miss? Stop talking.
- But Guy - No.
Everything you've ever told me is a lie! You're a wanted criminal! It's nice to be wanted? - [chuckles nervously.]
- [grunts.]
But how could you sell Mr.
Jenkins? [squawks.]
[clucking sadly.]
When I stole him, he wasn't Mr.
Jenkins yet.
I made the deal with Snerz before I got to know the big fella.
Snerz is the collector? As in SnerzCo? - Yes.
- [purring.]
But the plan now is to reunite Jenkins with his family on Chickeraffe Island! - [squawking.]
- Promise.
I want to believe you.
But I can't.
You have to.
I may not be able to find my mother, but Jenkins's mom is a balloon ride away! Please.
You can trust me.
[squawks softly.]
No! Just get out of here! And leave Mr.
Jenkins with me.
I can't do that.
They'll put him back in a zoo.
You listen to me, Sam Ah-ah-ah.
That's your hupset voice.
You get upset when you're hungry.
Good thing I brought these.
[chuckles.]
Ta-da! They're really good right there, I'll bet.
[Guy.]
I do not like them, Sam-I-Am.
But you could.
I could not, would not, on a boat! I will not, will not, with a goat! I will not eat them in the rain! I will not eat them on a train! I do not like them here or there! I do not like them anywhere! I do not like green eggs and ham! I do not like them, Sam-I-Am! [warbles.]
So, that's a no? [yells.]
[panting.]
[Sam.]
Okay.
I know you're not happy about the little setback in our relationship.
We have no relationship.
It's not us I'm worried about.
I'll tell her you're innocent.
She'll believe me.
Oh, really, Mr.
Furry Foot Bandit? Who's she supposed to believe? Hector Jive? Bamboozle McHoaxypants? I only use Bamboozle McHoaxypants for hotels.
Why do you have so many aliases? Because nobody's nobody's ever wanted me to stay the same person before.
Nobody's ever stuck around long enough.
Well, there's a reason nobody's ever stuck around this long, Sam.
Believe me, I know.
Because I've tried.
I've tried you as a friend, and you don't fit.
You don't fit anybody.
Not even your own mother.
[gasps.]
[Mr.
Jenkins squawks softly.]
[narrator.]
Oh, dear! Guy's just upset.
I'm sure he didn't mean it.
Sam that last bit [narrator.]
But his words crushed poor Sam, whose heart cracked like a peanut.
[whimpering.]
I'm sorry, Sam.
- I'm sorry.
- No, no, no.
You're right.
Come on, Mr.
Jenkins.
No! Wait! Sam, you can't sell him! [footsteps depart.]
[door opens.]
The collector is Snerz.
[narrator.]
Sam and Jenkins are gone.
Guy's alone, and he's sad.
How did he let things get messed up so bad? He thought of Michellee.
Where once there was hope, now there was only Uh-uh.
Mm-hmm.
Eh-eh.
And nope! Guy had no friends left to stand in his way.
He can resume giving up on his dreams right away.
[male announcer.]
The SnerzDay Gala! We've made it! Everyone's here! Hello, Tonya! It's packed with attendees from far and from near! The inventors are ready to present their machines, and the counters have counted their very last beans.
But one thing is missing! The Cronies will laugh if Snerz can't produce his prize Chickeraffe! Where is it? Yes, Mr.
Snerz.
That wasn't a question.
No, it's not here yet! We need a distraction.
Start the show! [orchestra plays.]
[announcer.]
And now The man in charge! The man of your dreams! The man in charge of your dreams! Standing at four foot three four nine with the Flerz, graduated magna cum awesome from Snerz University - [gong sounds.]
- [mumbles.]
What? [announcer.]
Mr.
Hervnick Z.
Snerz! Hmm, yeah! [yells.]
[laughs.]
Yes.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Huh? [crickets chirping.]
- [growls.]
- [panting.]
Read it.
[crowd cheering and applauding.]
Thank you.
Thank you! You're too kind! Please, stop.
Stop! It's too much.
Stop! Wait.
Are we supposed to stop? [screams.]
Is this guy for real? [laughs nervously.]
Very much so.
[chuckles nervously.]
[laughs nervously.]
You should applaud, just to be safe.
And now, for a little slideshow.
[squeaking.]
[audience gasps.]
[groans in pain.]
[female Crony.]
Oh.
[laughs.]
Quit stalling, Snerzy! Shush! You're distracting me.
No, you're distracting us from the fact that there is no Chickeraffe! - Oh, that's right.
[laughs.]
- [laughs.]
[scoffs.]
[grumbles.]
[winces.]
Chickeraffe? [whimpers.]
[siren wailing in distance.]
[groans.]
[chuckles.]
Hmm.
Hmm.
Oh, pigment! [groans.]
[grunts.]
[sighs.]
- [Paint Watcher groaning.]
- [groans.]
[bell on door rings.]
[narrator.]
With Sam out of his life, Guy was drained of all fun.
Hey! Hello there! Oh, let me tell you about our specials.
- We have - [Guy.]
Oatmush.
Dry.
And a spoon.
[narrator.]
Oh, man! You're back where you were in Episode One! Oh, good choice.
One Sad Man's Special coming up.
And make it snappy.
I have an appointment upstairs.
Oh, are you one of the inventors here for the Gala? I knew it! [laughs.]
What brilliant idea did you come up with? I'm not an inventor.
I'm here to interview for a job watching paint.
Oh, yeah, right! Well, I'll get your food up right away.
Wouldn't want you to be late for giving up on all your hopes and dreams.
[fanfare plays on TV.]
Oh, look! There's the inventors now! Impress me.
The Hate-erator! It turns hatred into energy.
[chuckles.]
I hate it! - [electricity crackling.]
- [screams.]
[Hate-erator explodes.]
[audience.]
Whoa! [audience murmuring.]
Where is the blasted Chickeraffe? I will not be humiliated! Yes, yes, sir! I'll look into it, sir! [announcer.]
Bean counters to the stage.
Corporate stooges remain seated.
The bean count is next, honey, so you stay here and enjoy the show.
I'll be back in a bit.
Wait.
You're gonna leave me here by myself? I trust you.
Psst! [in sing-song.]
Snerzy! This show is great.
It has everything [whispers.]
except a Chickeraffe.
[Cronies laugh.]
[gasps.]
What's he doing here? [whispering indistinctly.]
Sam-I-Am.
Ha! - [laughs.]
- [female Crony.]
Oh.
What the Sam Hill? What is he up to? What? What? Okay.
That's weird.
Hey, hey, Mom! Mom! Excuse me? Can you go get my mom? She's up there, the formerly overprotective one with the beans? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! I can't disrupt the Gala.
Mr.
Snerz would be very upset.
Tell my mom I'll be right back! [sarcastically.]
Oh, sure.
I clearly have nothing better to do.
Thank you! Sorry I'm late.
I had to ditch some dead weight.
Any later, and you would've been the dead weight, you see, because I would've killed you.
Yes, killed you.
You'd be dead.
Dead weight.
- Ah.
[laughs.]
- [gasps.]
- [Snerz.]
Dead weight.
- Whoa.
[animals moaning.]
This is terrible! [animals grunting.]
[E.
B.
gasps.]
No! [echoing.]
No, no! [Snerz.]
It was incredibly clever wordplay.
I am a genius! - I have all the best words.
- Whoa! [Snerz.]
Have you got the goods? Yeah.
You got the bruckles? Whoa! Slow down, cowboy.
Let me see it first.
[gasps.]
[narrator.]
It's a sight E.
B.
wished her eyes could unsee.
- Excellent, Mr.
I-Am.
- [squawks nervously.]
[narrator.]
Looks like Sam never meant to set her pal free! Hey, guitar player Mmm New York's number-one cut creator Uh-huh, uh-huh Hey, speed skater T-t-t-t-take a right Let's put an ad in the papers Uh Backflip You know what to do Ooh Backflip You know what to do Ooh, let your freak flag fly Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic Let me work my magic Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic