Hart to Hart (1979) s01e12 Episode Script

This is my boss, Jonathan Hart.
A self-made millionaire.
He's quite a guy.
This is Mrs.
H.
She's gorgeous.
What a terrific lady! By the way, my name is Max.
I take care of them, which ain't easy 'cause their hobby is murder.
You know, when I was a kid, we used to have this game called freeze tag.
Somebody would tag you and you had to stay still as a statue.
- If you moved, you lost.
- I bet you were terrific at it.
I was the worst.
I couldn't stay still for 10 seconds.
- Well, you've improved.
- Yeah, I can last about a minute now.
I'm sorry.
I just couldn't help it.
That's all right.
You can move all you want to.
Really? We're finished for the day? We are finished, period.
- Really? - Finito.
- Oh, can I see? - No.
- Oh, come on! - I still have a few touchups - Just a little peek.
- and then I want to frame it.
No peeks.
Not till it's completely completed.
Just chalk it up to artist's superstition.
- Rat.
- Look, why don't you get changed? All right.
You mean Jonathan doesn't have any idea what you're doing? None at all.
I wanted to surprise him for our anniversary.
You should have heard all the excuses I had to use.
Like what? Like I had to go and interview a young, talented artist.
Well, now I can say I had to go and interview a young talented, and famous artist.
Not quite.
Pretty close.
After the reviews from your last show I'd say you were well on your way.
I'm sorry I missed it.
There's a brochure on the table there.
It's all yours.
Oh, great.
I read one critic who said you were the brightest young artist since Andrew Wyeth.
- So she did.
- Well, that's very impressive.
Not when you consider the critic was my Aunt Shirley.
Oh, come on.
I've seen the way your paintings are being snapped up.
And the prices! Now, that has nothing to do with Aunt Shirley.
- Can I give you a cheque, Warren? - You don't owe me anything.
- What are you talking about? - Let's just say it's thanks for being my patron all these years and for your encouragement.
- You deserved it.
- Not as much as I needed it.
It's a gift to you and Jonathan for your anniversary.
- You don't have to do this.
- I know.
That's what makes it fun.
Thanks.
- You're sure I can't - No.
Do you know, of all the people in the world to say "no" to, you are the toughest? - Well? - No.
- Cruel.
Bye-bye.
- Bye.
That really work? Yeah, why? Let's see.
All right, let go! Better work with that a while longer.
Can't we keep our minds on the business at hand? Shall we pay Mr.
Keller a visit? It's open.
- Good afternoon, Warren.
- Oh, Mr.
Winslow, nice to see you.
Well, far emptier than when I was here last.
Well, the show went very well.
But you should know that.
- How many of my paintings did you buy? - Six.
I would have bought more, but the prices have appreciated sharply.
Yes, I know.
I didn't expect them to go up that way.
Fortunately, others have a higher opinion of your work than you seem to.
I being one of them.
Is this your latest endeavour? Yes, as soon as I'm finished with this one.
Lovely.
Both the subject and the painting.
- I didn't know you did portraits.
- This is a favour for an old friend.
Or two old friends.
Very nice.
I'm sure the owner will be thrilled.
What brings you by? Just to tell you how much I'm enjoying your paintings and to get an idea of when you might be planning your next show.
Oh.
Well, I'm afraid I have to recover from this one before I can even think of the next one.
Well, all of us who have watched your progress are anxious to find out what the next few months will bring.
I may do some Unfortunately, my boy, there will be no more shows.
Unfortunately for you.
Most fortunately for me.
You're getting evasive.
I'm not getting evasive.
I'm getting drenched.
Now promise me, Jonathan.
- I did.
I did promise.
- I know, but it doesn't sound convincing.
- Don't forget to get behind his ears.
- I always get behind his ears.
So we're agreed, then.
No more expensive anniversary presents.
I agree.
I promise See? You see, it doesn't sound convincing to me.
What do I have to do? Well, you just have to keep your word.
Not like last year.
Remember that? I promise you, no more expensive presents, okay? Darling, don't you think we should take him to a grooming parlour? - A grooming parlour? - Yeah.
And have him bathed by a stranger? Some people would pay a lot of money to be bathed by a stranger.
- You're kidding.
- No.
- I'm shocked.
- Really? Come on, Freeway.
What'd you do, get in the tub with him? We washed.
You dry.
- Right.
- Come on, sweetheart.
Let's have a drink.
- All right, what would you like, Mrs.
H? - Oh, I thought you'd never ask.
- I wanna fix you something special.
- Let's see.
I would like a martini.
- A martini? - Yes, a dreaded martini.
- On the rocks or straight up? - Straight up.
- Olive? - Why not? - Twist? - Let's live dangerously.
- You mind if I turn on the news? - No.
And now, a bulletin.
The art world has suffered a tragic loss tonight.
Warren Keller, whose recent show had critics acclaiming him was killed tonight when his car went over the embankment here.
Police say it appears he had been drinking.
- Keller - I don't believe it.
who lived here in the Southland for his entire life I was just with him this morning.
I was sitting for a I was sitting for a portrait.
He was gonna give you the portrait as an anniversary present.
This doesn't make sense.
The reaction from the art colony tonight will, I'm sure, be one of shock and horror.
- I don't understand it, I - And now for tomorrow's weather.
Jonathan, something doesn't seem right.
Darling, let's just No, no, I'm telling you, there's just something wrong.
Listen, let's sit down.
The woman on the television said it was an accident that he'd been drinking.
When you drink, he could've very easily - driven his car off the - But that's it.
That's what's wrong.
He wasn't drinking.
You know that.
He was a member of AA.
He told me he hadn't had a drink in five years that it had changed his entire life.
- Would you do me a favour? - Anything.
I know it's crazy, but would you just take me over to his studio? I'll take you anywhere you want to go.
Come on.
Now then, the portrait was right over here.
It's gone.
- Well, maybe he took it in the car with him.
- No.
Look, all his sketches are gone.
And there was a little oil right over here.
Darling.
Who are you? What are you doing here? Who are you and what are you doing here? I'm a friend of I was a friend of Warren's.
Oh, you're Jennifer Hart.
Yes.
Yeah, Warren showed me your portrait.
This is my husband, Jonathan.
I'm Scotty McClain.
He almost did you justice.
You were a friend of Warren's? Lovers.
We were lovers.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Warren never talked about his personal life.
I'm terribly, terribly sorry.
Thanks.
I just came from the coroner's office.
I had to identify the body.
It's a really cold place.
I remember it from the last time Warren and I went down to identify Laslo.
- Laslo? - Laslo Maddox.
Warren and I met in his art seminar.
Wasn't Laslo Maddox the man who died in Malibu a couple of years ago? Yeah.
Yeah, he drowned.
- Was Warren a very good driver? - Warren? He drove like a little old lady.
He was very careful.
I just can't believe he went off the side of the road.
- You saw the news on television? - Yeah.
- They said that he was drinking and driving.
- No way.
He'd been in AA for five years now.
I mean, he went to a meeting this afternoon.
Right before you came for your sitting.
No, if it looked like he was drinking, there's just something wrong here.
There's just something terribly wrong.
That wasn't any accident.
Do you think that that can be proved? I don't know how.
Just tell the police but if they really think that's what happened, I don't know how to convince them.
I mean, who's gonna care about some dead painter? We do.
Lieutenant, you can take your badge off.
Oh, yeah.
Right.
Does he ever miss? Don't worry.
We've never found anything but food in our food.
- Are you sure? - Promise.
Yeah, I never been in a place like this before.
It's awful nice of you to ask me.
- It's the least we can do for you.
- It's awfully nice of you to talk to us.
Wish I had more to tell you.
After you called, we spent a week running checks.
All of Keller's friends, his business associates.
We couldn't turn up a thing.
- No trace of the picture of Jennifer? - None.
I don't know.
These artists, they get crazy.
Maybe he took a look at it, decided he didn't like it, and ripped it up.
I don't believe that, Lieutenant.
Wanna know the truth? Doesn't sound too terrific to me, either.
- If either one of you has any suggestions - I wish we did.
Well, we really do appreciate everything you've told us so far, Lieutenant.
And if there's really anything we can do for you, don't hesitate to ask.
Well, as a matter of fact, there is.
My girl's coming by to get me.
And she's mighty impressed that I've been meeting with you.
I mean, she read all about you in the society columns and stuff.
She's a big fan.
If you wouldn't mind just saying hello to her? - Not at all.
- Sure.
Thanks.
There she is.
Darlene, come on over here.
Come on.
Meet Jennifer and Jonathan Hart.
Folks, this is Darlene.
- How do you do? - How do you do? Boy, it's so nice to meet you.
I mean, when Jerry told me he was having a drink with you, I just didn't believe it.
- I mean, right, Jerry? - Well, that's very nice.
I mean, most of the time, he just has drinks and stuff with other policemen or district attorneys and stuff.
- Maybe we could just - I have, like, so many things to ask you like who does your hair and your nails and who your favourite designer is and Oh, God, and Should we move over a little bit? Maybe you could sit down.
And what it's like to work with, like, all those policemen and stuff and solve the crimes? And I just can't believe it.
My girlfriends are just gonna die if I tell them - Oh, good.
- Won't you sit down? - Would you like a plate? - No.
I never cease to be amazed that people actually buy this junk.
- Ah, it looks okay to me, Mr.
Winslow.
- Assembly-line art.
Takes less than an hour to paint one of these.
I can understand hotels buying them but to hang them on the walls of one's home Oh, come on, you ought to be glad.
It's made you rich enough to buy the real stuff.
Yes.
The lines at the Winslow Art Marts stretch for miles.
Another testament to how one can become rich appealing to bad taste.
Didn't I put the Keller here, the portrait of Mrs.
Hart? How do you know who she is? From the society column.
She and her husband are favourites of the local paparazzi.
- Didn't I put it here? - Yes, I saw you do it.
Peterson.
Peterson! What is it? - Have you seen the Keller? - What's that? - The portrait of the woman.
- Oh, yeah, the great-looking one.
- When did you start appreciating art? - Not the painting, the dame.
Where is it? I sent it out.
You what? Yeah, we had a delivery to Gans Art Supply today.
So I just grabbed a stack of pictures.
I think it was in that stack.
You sent a Warren Keller original to be hung on the wall of an art supply store? I guess.
I mean, they all look the same to me.
Lord help me.
- You want we should get it back? - Yes, I want you should get it back.
If Gans hung it already, he might notice if it disappears.
Then make sure he can't tell anyone where it came from.
If the police make the connection even they will be able to figure out who murdered Warren Keller.
Got it.
Good.
Get it.
You know what a man could do if he wanted to make a lot of money? What? He could open up ice cream stores next to Japanese restaurants.
He'd make a fortune.
Next to pizza parlours, too.
- Pepperoni and peppermint doesn't mix.
- Why not? You're having tempura and toffee.
Hold it.
There you are.
Now there's a perfect combination: flowers and ice cream.
A gallery.
See anything you like? Jonathan, look! The portrait! - What's that doing here? - Let's ask the owner.
Closed.
Let's see if we can find his home address.
Come on.
L.
A.
Mobile? I'd like the number for Eliot Gans in Los Angeles, please.
Not his gallery, his home.
Could you also give me his address? You sure this is the right house? How many Eliot Ganses can there be in the phone book? - You all right? - Yes, just a little shaken.
Come on.
I'm afraid we've got the right address.
Ambulance 89 to 7400 Clement.
So you just walked in and discovered the body? Right.
Then we called the police.
I think it's so wonderful, the way you asked for Jerry.
- I hope we didn't interrupt anything.
- No, nothing at all.
It's just that we think this is tied in with the murder of Warren Keller.
- Because of a picture in Gans' window? - Right.
That was my portrait that was stolen from Warren's studio.
- What was Gans doing with it? - That's what we were gonna ask him.
Boy, this is really getting involved, isn't it? I mean, this is just like that case you were telling me about earlier.
Darlene.
We don't know what the connection is.
But if we could get into his store and look at his records Maybe there's an invoice that can tell us where he got it.
Fine.
I'll send someone over first thing in the morning.
Oh, no, we should go right away.
We? - I think they're right, Jerry.
- Darlene.
Mr.
Hart, Mrs.
Hart I appreciate what you're saying.
I really do.
But there's a dead man on the floor by the name of Eliot Gans and I got a report to fill out.
And I'd like to get an autopsy on Gans and by the time I finish all of that, there'll probably be no time for anything else.
Well, the problem is, Lieutenant, we're afraid that whoever killed him might go after the portrait right away.
- I mean, there may be no time to spare.
- That's right.
- See? - Darlene! I tell you what, if you're that concerned why don't you go sit outside the store until I send someone over there tomorrow? I think you're both very right.
I think we've lost an ally.
We seem to have that effect upon policemen.
What now? Well, he did say to go back to the store.
- I think he was being sarcastic, darling.
- Oh, really? I didn't notice.
- I know a solution to the energy crisis.
- What? Harness Darlene's enthusiasm.
It's gone! Let's see if they got a back entrance to this place.
Stay behind me.
All right, up against the wall, the both of you.
Move it.
And get your hands on top of your heads.
Go on.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Did they take my painting? - Yeah.
- Oh.
- I can't wait to see that myself.
We better call the police.
But whatever you do, don't call Gillis.
You're sure this is the woman in Gans' store - Jennifer Hart? - Yeah, I'm sure.
- She was with some guy.
- Maybe the guy's her husband.
Oh, Peterson, your powers of deduction are a constant source of delight.
This really can't stay here.
Put it at the warehouse.
But all those people are gonna be there.
You know, at the dance you're throwing, the Box Art Ball.
Beaux Arts.
Nobody will see it if we lock it away in a storage bin.
Thank you, Conway.
Well, this may be a fascinating coincidence.
How's that? Here we have the last painting that Warren Keller ever painted.
And it may also turn out to be the last portrait that Mrs.
Hart ever sits for.
To you, Mrs.
Hart.
- It's really terrific.
I really like your painting.
- Oh, thank you.
But I think I'll wait till another time to try to interest you in my work.
You've been so nice, buying tickets for the Beaux Arts Ball.
Oh, don't be silly.
I've always wanted to go to one of those.
There you are.
On behalf of the Starving Artists' Association, I thank you.
You're not gonna be a starving artist for very long.
Look at these, darling.
Aren't they good? - Oh, yeah, those are good.
- I hope you're right.
At the moment, I'm muddling through on a grant from the Winslow Foundation.
Winslow.
Roger Winslow? - Yeah, you know him? - Of the Art Marts.
Yes, I've seen him on television advertising art by the yard.
Yeah, but he's really interested in the future of fine art.
In fact, he donated his warehouse for the party tonight.
- Have you seen this, darling? - What's that? That's the brochure from Laslo Maddox's last show.
There are some very interesting private collectors in there.
- Well, thank you very much.
- Thank you.
- Thanks again.
- Thank you.
- We'll see you there.
- Goodbye.
Jonathan? What did you find that was so interesting about that brochure on Laslo Maddox? You know the brochure you gave me on Warren Keller's collection? - You mean his last show? - You left it lying on the seat of the car.
- I took a look at it.
- And? I put it in the glove compartment.
- Why don't you take a look at it? - All right.
Look in the back under "Private Collections.
" - What am I looking for? - You'll see.
Let's see.
Chikart Anderson, Houston, Texas.
Dr.
and Mrs.
Harold Bates, Grosse Point, Michigan - Notice anyone else? - L, M, N, O - No.
- Oh, yes.
Pierson, Santa Monica, California.
- Go on.
- There's more? Q, R, S, T - U, V, W.
Winslow.
- Roger.
Roger Winslow? Well.
- Where do we start first? - How about alphabetically? You want me to call information in Santa Monica? Yeah.
Hello, L.
A.
Mobile.
How's that, operator? You have a listing for Wilbur Pierson's Trucking Company on Oil Slick Road? I bought those Warren Kellers before anyone ever heard of him.
Much less before he up and killed himself.
I'd take y'all up to the house, but I've got two mechanics out with the flu.
Excuse me.
Would you hand me that little crescent wrench there, please, sir? - Are all your paintings Kellers? - Heck, no.
I got a few of those Jackson Pollocks.
I bought them before he killed himself.
Same with the Rothkos.
Damn.
Same with the Maddoxes.
Mr.
Pierson, you seem to have a knack for collecting artists who die prematurely.
Tell me about it.
It's got to the point to where I think twice before I even buy a new artist.
- Is that what you specialise in? - Yes, ma'am, discovering new talent.
Well, they're good investments.
Well, if I'm gonna invest, I buy real estate.
I just love being right about new kids.
Course, when they die that way, it don't hurt the value of the paintings none.
- The price just skyrockets.
- Right away.
Yes, ma'am.
Supply is ended, demand just keeps going on.
I could make a bundle off them Kellers if I had a mind to.
Well, y'all excuse me.
- Well, I guess the conversation has ended.
- For now.
Hey! Would you hand me that screwdriver with the red handle? - Your turn.
- My - Here you go.
- Much obliged.
If Pierson is a murderer, he's the most up-front killer since Jaws.
- May I help you? - Yes, we're Mr.
and Mrs.
Jonathan Hart.
- Is Mr.
Winslow in? - Do you have an appointment? No, but we thought he might see us anyway.
- Do you have a card? - No, I'm afraid not.
He has cards.
He just never carries them with him.
Just like he never carries any cash.
Well, I don't suppose it matters whether you've got it on you just so long as you've got it.
Please wait here.
I'll see if Mr.
Winslow is at home.
No appointment, no card, no cash.
What's the world coming to? There's a Maddox, namely Laslo.
And here's a Keller, namely Warren.
And I'm Winslow, namely Roger.
How do you do, Mr.
Winslow? I've seen you on television.
And I've seen your picture on the society page.
Won't you come into my study? Please.
Please come in.
I suppose you've come about the Beaux Arts Ball? - Well, not exactly.
- Oh, please, sit down.
- Thank you.
- Make yourself comfortable.
Well - can I offer you some tea? - No, thank you.
No, thank you.
- Drink? - Nothing.
Well, I'll have some tea.
Why did you drop by this afternoon? We came to talk to you about Warren Keller.
- Did you know him? - Yes, we were friends.
We also own some of his works.
Not as many as you do, of course.
How do you know I own Keller's work? From the brochure of his last show.
Oh, yes.
Of course.
We also know that you own a great deal of Laslo Maddox's work.
From the brochure of his last show.
Yes.
- You're to be complimented, Mr.
Winslow.
- Really, Mr.
Hart? Why? On affording the public the chance to buy original art at such inexpensive prices.
Thank you, Mr.
Hart.
Some of our younger artists will prove themselves and others will not.
That is the only thing the Winslow Art Marts cannot guarantee.
Mr.
Winslow, you knew both of these men personally.
I did.
Do you think the fact that both of them died prematurely could possibly have any connection? I cannot see any possible connection between two such tragic incidents.
Well.
Well, we won't take up any more of your time.
We really must go, anyway.
We have to get ready for the ball.
- Oh, so you're planning on attending? - Oh, yes.
Wouldn't miss it for the world.
Oh, how nice.
I look forward to seeing you.
- Oh, thank you.
- I hope you'll be wearing something colourful.
Oh, yes.
Something in neon with sparklers.
I'm sure you'll stand out in any crowd.
You'll just have to wait until we take off our masks to find us.
But that's not until midnight.
And the sad part about that is it wastes half the evening.
But think of all the fun you'll have trying to find us.
Well, if one must wait, I suppose one must wait.
Is that your car, Mr.
Winslow? - The Panther, yes.
- It's lovely.
- Thank you.
- Well.
- Bye-bye, Mr.
Winslow.
Thank you.
- See you this evening.
We're seeing a lot of them all of a sudden.
Yes, but after tonight, no one will be seeing them anymore.
It will be a rather unpleasant end to the ball but certainly a spectacular one.
You see, I didn't make the connection at first.
And then all of a sudden, bingo! It hit me.
I remembered seeing that car in front of Keller's studio.
Darling, maybe he just stopped by for a visit.
Or maybe he stopped by to kill Keller.
- But why? - I don't know.
But it all seems a little too coincidental for me.
- Because his car was there? - That and because Winslow was one of the biggest collectors of Maddox and Keller both of whom died in accidents and both of whom were just on the verge of becoming famous.
You're right.
It is too coincidental.
- Why would they want to kill them? - Wilbur Pierson.
Wilbur Pierson.
They wanted to kill them because of Wilbur Pierson.
No, but don't you remember what Wilbur Pierson said about his paintings? What did he say? How the prices kept going up when the painters died? - So? - So what if Winslow collected the work of talented unknowns and then he killed them? He'd stand to make a fortune.
- You wanna know something? - What? Don't go to the police with this theory.
They're liable to throw an easel at you.
- Mr.
H? - Yes, Max.
Come on in.
The Hollywood Costume Company delivered your masks for the party.
Great.
I wonder what they sent.
Oh, here.
Where do they get all that stuff from, Mr.
H? Old movie costumes, Max.
Hey, there's a tag in this one.
What does yours say? "Mr.
Claude Rains, Phantom of the Opera, Universal Pictures.
" Oh, listen to this: "Miss Norma Shearer, Marie _ntoinette, MGM Studios.
" I remember that.
That's the one where she got her head cut off.
Well, I hope history doesn't repeat itself.
- Darling, this is a black-and-white ball.
- So I noticed.
I completely forgot.
Because painters paint in colour, it's traditional that they give a black-and-white ball.
- Let me buy you a drink.
- Good idea.
What some people will do for attention.
- To you.
- And to you.
You look beautiful.
Well, if it isn't the Lady in Red.
Yes, I suppose I do stand out in the crowd.
- That is you, isn't it, Scotty? - Oh, my cover blown again.
- Would you like some champagne? - Thanks.
- Here's to you, to your success.
- And to your health.
- Thank you both.
- Cheers.
Where did Mr.
Winslow put all the paintings? They're all stored away in bins behind the curtains.
- Come on, Scotty, let's dance.
- Excuse me.
Bye.
Would you like another glass of champagne? No, thank you, darling.
Hey, buddy, watch who you're pushing or I'll hoist you on my petard.
Believe me, sir, I never touched you.
I joust you not.
Then who put this dent in my chest plate? No wonder Winslow wanted you to wear something colourful.
You're a moving target.
Jonathan.
Why doesn't this painting ever turn up under more pleasant circumstances? Well, that certainly clears up exactly who did what to whom.
That doesn't do us any good now.
Darling, you wait here.
Jonathan! Hey, hold this rope.
Phantom of the Opera.
I was thinking more of "Me Tarzan, you Jane.
" It's good to be home.
Get these shoes off.
Oh, my feet.
Well, Mrs.
H, I would certainly say that we got our money's worth.
I'll tell you one thing.
If that's what's to be expected J from the Beaux Arts Ball let's not go next year.
You know what we never got a chance to do in all the commotion? - What was that? - We never got a chance to dance.
Oh, that's right.
Unless you count that tarantella we were doing up on the catwalk.
But that wasn't with you.
Now we don't even have the music.
I've got an idea.
- They didn't need music in those movies.
- What movies? You know, the ones where the boy would look at the girl right in the eyes.
- Like you're looking at me? - Yeah.
And they'd say, "I love you.
" Yes, it's all coming back to me.
And the music would swell.
And they'd start to dance.