Harvey Street Kids (2018) s01e12 Episode Script
Elder Skelter/A More Perfect Reunion
1 [rock music.]
One, two, three, go! Whoa, oh-oh-oh, oh - That's my drummer - This is my beat Whoa, oh-oh-oh, oh - We're - Harvey Kids, gonna run this street! Run, run, run this street It's Saturday o'clock Come on, get on your feet The world's our dance floor Our moves are sweet We're Harvey Kids Gonna run, run, run this street Wow! Hey Hello, I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here.
Actually, Bobby, you walked into our game.
[chomping.]
[grunts.]
Now, as I was saying, the other day I saw a bumper sticker that said, "YOKO, You're Only a Kid Once.
" This made me wonder if maybe I was missing out.
Which is why I, Bobby the Elder, am retiring.
[all gasp.]
But without an Elder, who will answer all of our questions? Like this question about our questions! Who will keep a record of my epic beauty? And keep a lesser record about these other people? Who will wake the sun in the morning, and tuck it in at night? I have no idea what you do.
Worry not, I shall choose a successor.
But, and I must warn you what I have here is a big "but.
" [laughter.]
Big but.
Huh? Oh.
Wordplay.
Huh.
Before you volunteer, know that an Elder is many things.
Wise [chuckles.]
Want to go in as co-Elders? I already have so many projects under way.
My thousand-page thesis on the feminist history of yogurt commercials won't write itself.
And thanks, but I'm way too young at heart to be an Elder.
[giggling.]
Fine, more Eldering for me! But just think of what I could do with all that power.
[laughs.]
[clears throat.]
I mean with all that responsibility? -Uh-huh.
You hate responsibility.
-What? No.
I mean, how could I? I've never even met responsibility.
Now come on, give me power! And, finally, it helps to have a working knowledge of sashimi.
-So, that said, who wants to be Elder? -I'm in! I have my vote, which is for me.
So we what, produce birth certificates to see who's next oldest? Being an Elder isn't about a number.
It's about who has the oldest soul.
And only an old soul will know the right item to choose.
So, we just pick a piece of garbage? Yes! You got this, Pinkeye! Me first! I am great at shopping.
The mirror represents vanity.
An Elder must think of others.
Whatever.
I'm keeping this.
[horn blasting.]
Sorry, an Elder must -[horn blasting.]
-An Elder must -[horn blasting.]
-An Elder [horn blasting.]
So many choices You choose nothing? Yeah! Because an Elder doesn't need material possessions? Way off! Next! I pick all of them to throw a block-wide murder mystery party! Ha ha! The murder weapon! Ha ha! The second murder weapon! And mood lighting for dinner! W-well, yes! That's correct! Your choice shows an Elder's need for originality, problem solving, consideration of others, and a love of murder mysteries! Audrey is the new Elder! [all cheering.]
-Yay, Audrey! -Go, Audrey! [crying.]
[uplifting music.]
[gasps.]
[chortling.]
Thank you.
This is truly the honorablest.
Wow.
You look older.
-And wiser.
-Respect.
[upbeat melody playing from ice cream truck.]
-Yay! -[laughter.]
Ooh, ice cream, ice cream! Oh, sorry.
No time for ice cream, not until you finish all the items on your Elder task list.
Right.
Time to get all Elderly! Our little girl's all Elder-ed up! So, what are we doing, fellow youth? Waiting in line? Cool, cool.
Easy breezy.
I'm wit it.
Bobby? Being a kid again is a big change.
We could help you adjust.
I'm excellent at being a kid, and Dot's well above average.
Girls, dat floats my goat! The Internet said that means "yes" in youth-speak.
Start with this.
It's a delicacy to our people.
[chomping.]
[gags.]
Aah! Can I get mine heated? First up, "Answer all questions on the block.
" [chuckles.]
Try to stump me, Tine.
Uh, my friend you don't know, let's call him "Tony," wants to know if anyone on Harvey Street ever developed superpowers like growing or flying or growing and flying? Ah, let me consult the word pages.
Words, words, words Aha! The answer is no.
But we did produce two hot-dog-eating champions, and a skateboarding squirrel.
Ahhh! You both made compelling arguments for ownership of this balloon.
But I say we let the balloon decide.
He made his choice.
Justice out! Huh.
Always wondered what he carried in here.
[whistle blows.]
[bird screeches.]
A hawk! [squeals.]
I name you "Sharkey Shark," 'cause you are the shark of the sky! [screeches.]
[shouting and laughter.]
Tag.
You are it.
Very good.
You're already tagging at a six-, maybe five-year-old level.
It was easy once I realized that the game is a metaphor for the good and bad inside each of us.
We're all "it" and "not it" at some point.
Aw, man.
We are all going to be "it" someday.
So, want to play capture the flag? Ha! Ha! Ha! I can't believe I get to hand out the block's bike licenses! Okay, here's your test.
Pop a wheelie into a 390, into a ghost ride, into a jump through a fire hoop.
I thought this was a bike traffic and safety test.
Oh, right.
Then parallel park? [light music.]
[smacks curb.]
[smacks curb.]
-[smacks curb.]
-Ah, parallel enough! You passed! No, no, I touched the curb.
I need to start over.
Okay, raked the Zen garden, made all of Lucretia's daily decisions for her.
Only thing left to do is record the day's events.
Huh.
Ah! I became Elder.
Done! Uh, no.
You're not done.
I am gonna tell you about my dream.
[dramatic music.]
So dream-me was like, "Ah.
" And they were like, "Yeah.
" And I was like, "Duh.
" And then they were like, "What?" And then I was in school, and I looked down, and I was wearing sweatpants! Sweatpants! Are you getting this? [stuttering.]
Keep talking.
Uh, I just need to, uh, go over there andandand fart.
Ew! Try to keep it quiet.
Bounce house! Bounce house! Bounce house! Bounce house! Audrey the Elder! Hello, role model! So what is being Elder like? You feel enlightened? Oh, yeah, it's fulfilling.
It's super fulfilling.
Hey, so, now, uh, this bounce house [sighs.]
This is for Bobby.
We've been trying to kid-ify him all day, but at best, he is still acting like a cool dad.
But one bounce on this baby, and he'll finally be Bobby The Younger! Tell you what, let me take a quick bounce-a-roni, -and I will -[Tiny.]
Audrey the Elder! Huh? There's trouble down at the Ol' Bloogey tree house! Feelings are getting hurt! An Elder's duties are never done.
[groans.]
My life used to be so simple.
It's okay.
Don't worry.
We have the bounce house for two hours.
Just go help the Bloogeys and hurry back to bounce.
-Yeah.
-[watch beeping.]
So this your bounce-ed house? [giggling.]
[Audrey.]
Let me get this straight.
Melvin wants to change the S in Bloogey Boys to a Z, and Fredo Respects proper noun pluralization! What's next? You gonna start pronouncing Z as "zed"? Are you British? No, I'm extreme! Okay, we wrap this up with a rap.
Whichever name rhymes better wins! [hip-hop beat.]
I could be in a bounce house If it weren't for the Bloogey Boys Makin' all this noise Why the Bloogey Boys Gotta be such killjoys? Keeping me from my castle To deal with their hassle They got me stuck up in this tree Picking from an S or a Z Instead of jumpin' Now, isn't that somethin'? Yeah, that wasn't helpful at all.
[groans.]
Whichever letter gets hit with more spitballs wins.
Ready? Set? Spit! [all spit.]
[whistling nonchalantly.]
-[growling.]
-[timer beeping.]
Ah, bounce house! Boys, I have one last idea that will hit two flying sharks with one spitball.
[laughter.]
-[timer beeping.]
-[whoosh.]
-[laughter.]
-Time's up.
Great funning, Bobby! But I don't want to go! Oh.
Great kid whining, too.
But we do need to leave.
[children gasp.]
Time for some bounce mediation.
Her methods are unconventional, but she is the Elder.
Whoa.
No, sorry, Audrey.
The house is deflating.
We need to get out.
B-b-but I just got here.
And as Elder, I say it's totally safe! [all scream.]
-Thethe house! It's bouncing back! -Aah! We trusted you! Melvin, hold me! [overlapping screams.]
Um, Audrey the Elder, I have some questions, mostly about, what do we do now, and when is it okay to cry? [suspenseful music.]
[grunts.]
Ah, so that's what the stick is for.
Harvey Street, to the exit! [triumphant music.]
[sighs.]
Life's too precious.
Let's never dispute again.
You made us realize all letters are the same when staring death in the face.
Thanks, Audrey the Elder.
Yeah, actually, it's just Audrey now.
Yeah, my Eldering days are over.
I wanted the job because ruling everything sounds fun, but turns out, it takes a lot of elbow juice.
And now that I've met responsibility, oof, not a fan.
I want to be a kid again.
So I guess we need to find another new Elder.
Maybe this time we mix it up and pick the youngest? No! Me! I want to be Elder again! Being a kid is a young man's game! Son, you're home.
Where's my hawk whistle? [hawk screeches.]
[upbeat music.]
Hey! Ladies and gentle-skunks, I give you the scrunchie of the future! [all gasp.]
It fastens the wildest of ponytails with ease.
-And it has a party mode.
-[girls gasp.]
[electronic music.]
You did it again, Dot! You changed my life in a million ways forever! Ahh You've been pushing the boundaries of fierce lately, Dot! These, your line of edible footwear Totestally.
You're gonna rule the world one day.
Maybe I'll even follow in the footsteps of my idols and appear in Kidmopolitan Magazine.
It's like a Website, but on paper.
The magnificent Dot, as I live and breathe.
[elegant music.]
Chevron! -It's been too long.
-[smooching.]
Oh, these are my BFFs, Lotta and Audrey.
-Hi! -Pleasure! Pleasure's mine, loves.
Dot and I are mates from preschool.
Whoa! Did you go to one of those British wizard preschools? I knew it! Ha! Turn me into a snake! [hissing.]
It was a normal school.
Two blocks down.
I wouldn't say normal, for Dot's star shone on us all like a dying sun that peaked 5,000 years ago.
Any-penny.
Fancy an invite to our five-year preschool reunion? Has it been five years? We're getting so old.
That a gray hair? Yep! He's new.
Should be right fun, eh? Seeing who's still picking their honker, who's having their goth phase, who's made the most of themselves? [giggles.]
I can't wait to hear what you've been fish and chipping away at.
Oh, she's been chipping like crazy! Like these laser scrunchies! [retches.]
-Try this on! -Adorable.
Your mates are so cheeky! Can't wait to see what you really did.
Pip pip, love! [both smooching.]
Chevron seems nice in a weird, maybe-secretly-not-nice way.
She's not nice.
She is my rival.
Whoa.
Makes sense, though.
-Where's she from, anyway? -Two blocks down.
But Chevron might have lived a world away.
She always got the better of me.
Whether it was stacking blocks or hand-turkey adornment or, most unforgivably, beating me out to be Head Robot at our end-of-the-year Class Robot Parade.
Real robots will look just like us.
Hmm.
I always worked so hard, but all I won was "Best Hair.
" Your hair is to die for.
It's 98th percentile.
But I'd trade it all to beat Chevron even once.
I keep this on me at all times as motivation.
Also it's gotten sticky over the years, so it's hard to shake.
Well, good news, sticky face! At the reunion, you can show her all the successfulness you've successed! You're the successiest girl I know! Totally! Every day you come up with some new undeniable hotness! I have accomplished a lot, probably more than Chevron.
This is my chance to finally come out on top! At last she'll bow before me! Well, not sure it's about making anyone bow before anyone, but Of course not.
But if bowing does happen, I'm not looking away.
Thanks for letting us be your plus-ones.
Okay, I got it all planned out.
I see Chevron, make small talk about how small we all used to be then boom! I hit her with everything I've got.
Pioneered the Dotcopter, developed natural deodorant for dogs.
Ooh, I see her.
Okay, hand, let's do this.
I'm doing brilliant, loves.
In fact, no big pig, but I crafted these hat-hair-less hats.
-See? No crease! -[all gasp.]
They've caught on right bloomingly.
Even made it into Kidmopolitan Magazine.
[gasps.]
I think I might randomly have a copy on me.
[all gasp.]
Abort! She's been in Kidmopolitan! -The Kidmopolitan? -Gasp-aragus! My hand can't compete with that! What do I do? Get it together, hand! Yeah.
So what if Chevron achieved literally your dream? You can decide to just be happy for her.
What else you got? I can't let her think that she's beaten me out again! Just the thought of her victory smirk Ugh! Relax, Dotrocket, there's an easy soloosh.
Just make stuff up that makes you seem cooler.
A little trick I picked up that time I fought my way out of an alien spy base.
So you want her to lie? Ugh, lying makes my ears sweat.
Eh, think of it as being honest about things that haven't happened yet.
There you are! Oh, Dot, love! Your hair is, oh, how do you say in the States, "on fleek"? Thanks.
Congrats on Kidmopolitan.
You heard about that? There is something posh about seeing your name in print.
Preserved forever, part of the future's history.
But what have you been up to? Well, II've mostly been promoting my new best-selling book.
You wrote a book? -Oh, one of those coloring books, surely.
-Nope.
It's a word-ing book that's full of important words about people and dots.
It's called The Life You Dot To Have A Holistic Guide To Help Today's Pretween Find Their Dot Within.
No big pig.
Wow, you wrote a book? Life-guidance authors rule! Do you have any tips for saying cool stuff in crowds? In fact, I just got back from a glamorous South American book tour.
Wow, Dot, all of this sounds literally unbelievable.
It's true.
Ask my two top aides.
Yeah! I'm her animal translator.
Lot of misguided pretween animals out there.
[chuckles.]
They need help.
I'm her bodyguard and an alien bounty-hunter on the side! [laughs.]
Forget that last part.
Yeah, it's classified anyway, so So happy for you.
Did you say you wrote a book? I had no idea, and I dedicated my life to following your every move.
Lucretia! Forgot you went to our preschool.
It's okay, I was kind of awkward then.
[laughs awkwardly.]
Anyway, can I have a copy of your book so I can read it continuously for the rest of my days on this Earth? Oh, shoot! I just realized.
I don't have any left! [wails.]
No prob-o, governor! I'll nick you one from the interwebs.
Bodyguard! Y-you won't be able to find it online, 'cause She used her full name, Dotjorgunorg, which is hard to spell, even for a seasoned animal translator like myself.
Anyone have a towel? Pray tell, why have you never used that moniker before? -For -Pass Her protection! Dot's the secret princess of Norwegia.
[excited chatter.]
Not to drop a clanger, but how come you never hung out with Emil, our Norwegian exchange student? Right, Emil.
Mm.
We had kind of a subtle, more Scandinavian friendship.
Too bad he's not here.
-I'm sure he'd tell you all about -You are royalty of our homeland? Would you honor me, my sovereign, with our national anthem? Yes, please.
Honor us all.
Sure, fellow countryman.
Oh, Norway Best country around It may be cold, but no one frowns Norway! [cheering.]
It is funny, your accent.
It sounded Swedish, not Norwegian.
Oh, it must've rubbed off on me.
I was just in Sweden for a good reason.
She was filming the new Horn-A-Corns movie, The Horn Identity.
Yep.
I play a new Horn-A-Corn, Hornala the Punctual! [cheering.]
Well, this has been fun.
See you all at the ten-year.
One sticky wicket You said you just got back from Sweden but also from a book tour in South America.
Which is it, love? Well thing about that is And that's how I won the international fencing championship! So you really need to see my world-class puppy-juggling act? And then I invented this surgery to permanently cure hiccups, which perfectly explains any logic holes in my story.
[cheering.]
And now I really to go! Adiós! [sighs.]
We actually pulled it off.
[hiccups.]
Dot! It must be fate! [hiccups.]
How about hitting me with some of your sweet, sweet surgery, huh? -[hiccups.]
-Uh, I can't.
I don't have my tools Rubbish, I have some right here.
Eh? Yeah, I shouldn't.
Lucretia has a nonregulation mouth, and I trust you completely! [hiccups.]
I've actually dreamt of this moment.
[hiccupping.]
[dramatic music.]
Aah! I can't do it! I didn't invent the cure to hiccups! [all gasp.]
I'm not a Norwegian princess either.
I didn't write a book.
I wasn't in a movie, and I'm not a world-class puppy juggler! So you're just a professional fencer, then? I'm none of it! I made it all up so you'd think I'd achieved more successfulness than you.
But I didn't, and that's okay, because I have two friends who would do anything for me.
And that is my proudest accomplishment.
[all gasp.]
I already thought you were great, but now you're super honest, too.
-[chuckles.]
Wow! -So brave! Her flaws humanize her! You may not be a princess, but you have the integrity of a queen! Oh.
Is raw honesty on trend now? Well, I've always been jealous of Dot.
[all gasp.]
She's so smart and inventive and accomplished and somehow still always has perfect hair! I had no idea.
We've wasted so much energy being rivals.
Imagine what we could accomplish if we worked together.
[Audrey.]
As President of the United States of the World, I hereby present you this award for accomplishing everything there is to accomplish.
[applause.]
-Mine.
Mine.
-No, no, it's mine.
Thank you.
-Mine! Mine! -Mine! Mine! Mine! [chorus.]
Ha! Yeah! Come on! Run! Yeah! Go Hey! Let's go! Turn it up Hey! Go! Yeah! Come on Run! Shh! Ha! Yeah! Yeah! Let's go Uh-huh Come on Yeah Hey!
One, two, three, go! Whoa, oh-oh-oh, oh - That's my drummer - This is my beat Whoa, oh-oh-oh, oh - We're - Harvey Kids, gonna run this street! Run, run, run this street It's Saturday o'clock Come on, get on your feet The world's our dance floor Our moves are sweet We're Harvey Kids Gonna run, run, run this street Wow! Hey Hello, I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here.
Actually, Bobby, you walked into our game.
[chomping.]
[grunts.]
Now, as I was saying, the other day I saw a bumper sticker that said, "YOKO, You're Only a Kid Once.
" This made me wonder if maybe I was missing out.
Which is why I, Bobby the Elder, am retiring.
[all gasp.]
But without an Elder, who will answer all of our questions? Like this question about our questions! Who will keep a record of my epic beauty? And keep a lesser record about these other people? Who will wake the sun in the morning, and tuck it in at night? I have no idea what you do.
Worry not, I shall choose a successor.
But, and I must warn you what I have here is a big "but.
" [laughter.]
Big but.
Huh? Oh.
Wordplay.
Huh.
Before you volunteer, know that an Elder is many things.
Wise [chuckles.]
Want to go in as co-Elders? I already have so many projects under way.
My thousand-page thesis on the feminist history of yogurt commercials won't write itself.
And thanks, but I'm way too young at heart to be an Elder.
[giggling.]
Fine, more Eldering for me! But just think of what I could do with all that power.
[laughs.]
[clears throat.]
I mean with all that responsibility? -Uh-huh.
You hate responsibility.
-What? No.
I mean, how could I? I've never even met responsibility.
Now come on, give me power! And, finally, it helps to have a working knowledge of sashimi.
-So, that said, who wants to be Elder? -I'm in! I have my vote, which is for me.
So we what, produce birth certificates to see who's next oldest? Being an Elder isn't about a number.
It's about who has the oldest soul.
And only an old soul will know the right item to choose.
So, we just pick a piece of garbage? Yes! You got this, Pinkeye! Me first! I am great at shopping.
The mirror represents vanity.
An Elder must think of others.
Whatever.
I'm keeping this.
[horn blasting.]
Sorry, an Elder must -[horn blasting.]
-An Elder must -[horn blasting.]
-An Elder [horn blasting.]
So many choices You choose nothing? Yeah! Because an Elder doesn't need material possessions? Way off! Next! I pick all of them to throw a block-wide murder mystery party! Ha ha! The murder weapon! Ha ha! The second murder weapon! And mood lighting for dinner! W-well, yes! That's correct! Your choice shows an Elder's need for originality, problem solving, consideration of others, and a love of murder mysteries! Audrey is the new Elder! [all cheering.]
-Yay, Audrey! -Go, Audrey! [crying.]
[uplifting music.]
[gasps.]
[chortling.]
Thank you.
This is truly the honorablest.
Wow.
You look older.
-And wiser.
-Respect.
[upbeat melody playing from ice cream truck.]
-Yay! -[laughter.]
Ooh, ice cream, ice cream! Oh, sorry.
No time for ice cream, not until you finish all the items on your Elder task list.
Right.
Time to get all Elderly! Our little girl's all Elder-ed up! So, what are we doing, fellow youth? Waiting in line? Cool, cool.
Easy breezy.
I'm wit it.
Bobby? Being a kid again is a big change.
We could help you adjust.
I'm excellent at being a kid, and Dot's well above average.
Girls, dat floats my goat! The Internet said that means "yes" in youth-speak.
Start with this.
It's a delicacy to our people.
[chomping.]
[gags.]
Aah! Can I get mine heated? First up, "Answer all questions on the block.
" [chuckles.]
Try to stump me, Tine.
Uh, my friend you don't know, let's call him "Tony," wants to know if anyone on Harvey Street ever developed superpowers like growing or flying or growing and flying? Ah, let me consult the word pages.
Words, words, words Aha! The answer is no.
But we did produce two hot-dog-eating champions, and a skateboarding squirrel.
Ahhh! You both made compelling arguments for ownership of this balloon.
But I say we let the balloon decide.
He made his choice.
Justice out! Huh.
Always wondered what he carried in here.
[whistle blows.]
[bird screeches.]
A hawk! [squeals.]
I name you "Sharkey Shark," 'cause you are the shark of the sky! [screeches.]
[shouting and laughter.]
Tag.
You are it.
Very good.
You're already tagging at a six-, maybe five-year-old level.
It was easy once I realized that the game is a metaphor for the good and bad inside each of us.
We're all "it" and "not it" at some point.
Aw, man.
We are all going to be "it" someday.
So, want to play capture the flag? Ha! Ha! Ha! I can't believe I get to hand out the block's bike licenses! Okay, here's your test.
Pop a wheelie into a 390, into a ghost ride, into a jump through a fire hoop.
I thought this was a bike traffic and safety test.
Oh, right.
Then parallel park? [light music.]
[smacks curb.]
[smacks curb.]
-[smacks curb.]
-Ah, parallel enough! You passed! No, no, I touched the curb.
I need to start over.
Okay, raked the Zen garden, made all of Lucretia's daily decisions for her.
Only thing left to do is record the day's events.
Huh.
Ah! I became Elder.
Done! Uh, no.
You're not done.
I am gonna tell you about my dream.
[dramatic music.]
So dream-me was like, "Ah.
" And they were like, "Yeah.
" And I was like, "Duh.
" And then they were like, "What?" And then I was in school, and I looked down, and I was wearing sweatpants! Sweatpants! Are you getting this? [stuttering.]
Keep talking.
Uh, I just need to, uh, go over there andandand fart.
Ew! Try to keep it quiet.
Bounce house! Bounce house! Bounce house! Bounce house! Audrey the Elder! Hello, role model! So what is being Elder like? You feel enlightened? Oh, yeah, it's fulfilling.
It's super fulfilling.
Hey, so, now, uh, this bounce house [sighs.]
This is for Bobby.
We've been trying to kid-ify him all day, but at best, he is still acting like a cool dad.
But one bounce on this baby, and he'll finally be Bobby The Younger! Tell you what, let me take a quick bounce-a-roni, -and I will -[Tiny.]
Audrey the Elder! Huh? There's trouble down at the Ol' Bloogey tree house! Feelings are getting hurt! An Elder's duties are never done.
[groans.]
My life used to be so simple.
It's okay.
Don't worry.
We have the bounce house for two hours.
Just go help the Bloogeys and hurry back to bounce.
-Yeah.
-[watch beeping.]
So this your bounce-ed house? [giggling.]
[Audrey.]
Let me get this straight.
Melvin wants to change the S in Bloogey Boys to a Z, and Fredo Respects proper noun pluralization! What's next? You gonna start pronouncing Z as "zed"? Are you British? No, I'm extreme! Okay, we wrap this up with a rap.
Whichever name rhymes better wins! [hip-hop beat.]
I could be in a bounce house If it weren't for the Bloogey Boys Makin' all this noise Why the Bloogey Boys Gotta be such killjoys? Keeping me from my castle To deal with their hassle They got me stuck up in this tree Picking from an S or a Z Instead of jumpin' Now, isn't that somethin'? Yeah, that wasn't helpful at all.
[groans.]
Whichever letter gets hit with more spitballs wins.
Ready? Set? Spit! [all spit.]
[whistling nonchalantly.]
-[growling.]
-[timer beeping.]
Ah, bounce house! Boys, I have one last idea that will hit two flying sharks with one spitball.
[laughter.]
-[timer beeping.]
-[whoosh.]
-[laughter.]
-Time's up.
Great funning, Bobby! But I don't want to go! Oh.
Great kid whining, too.
But we do need to leave.
[children gasp.]
Time for some bounce mediation.
Her methods are unconventional, but she is the Elder.
Whoa.
No, sorry, Audrey.
The house is deflating.
We need to get out.
B-b-but I just got here.
And as Elder, I say it's totally safe! [all scream.]
-Thethe house! It's bouncing back! -Aah! We trusted you! Melvin, hold me! [overlapping screams.]
Um, Audrey the Elder, I have some questions, mostly about, what do we do now, and when is it okay to cry? [suspenseful music.]
[grunts.]
Ah, so that's what the stick is for.
Harvey Street, to the exit! [triumphant music.]
[sighs.]
Life's too precious.
Let's never dispute again.
You made us realize all letters are the same when staring death in the face.
Thanks, Audrey the Elder.
Yeah, actually, it's just Audrey now.
Yeah, my Eldering days are over.
I wanted the job because ruling everything sounds fun, but turns out, it takes a lot of elbow juice.
And now that I've met responsibility, oof, not a fan.
I want to be a kid again.
So I guess we need to find another new Elder.
Maybe this time we mix it up and pick the youngest? No! Me! I want to be Elder again! Being a kid is a young man's game! Son, you're home.
Where's my hawk whistle? [hawk screeches.]
[upbeat music.]
Hey! Ladies and gentle-skunks, I give you the scrunchie of the future! [all gasp.]
It fastens the wildest of ponytails with ease.
-And it has a party mode.
-[girls gasp.]
[electronic music.]
You did it again, Dot! You changed my life in a million ways forever! Ahh You've been pushing the boundaries of fierce lately, Dot! These, your line of edible footwear Totestally.
You're gonna rule the world one day.
Maybe I'll even follow in the footsteps of my idols and appear in Kidmopolitan Magazine.
It's like a Website, but on paper.
The magnificent Dot, as I live and breathe.
[elegant music.]
Chevron! -It's been too long.
-[smooching.]
Oh, these are my BFFs, Lotta and Audrey.
-Hi! -Pleasure! Pleasure's mine, loves.
Dot and I are mates from preschool.
Whoa! Did you go to one of those British wizard preschools? I knew it! Ha! Turn me into a snake! [hissing.]
It was a normal school.
Two blocks down.
I wouldn't say normal, for Dot's star shone on us all like a dying sun that peaked 5,000 years ago.
Any-penny.
Fancy an invite to our five-year preschool reunion? Has it been five years? We're getting so old.
That a gray hair? Yep! He's new.
Should be right fun, eh? Seeing who's still picking their honker, who's having their goth phase, who's made the most of themselves? [giggles.]
I can't wait to hear what you've been fish and chipping away at.
Oh, she's been chipping like crazy! Like these laser scrunchies! [retches.]
-Try this on! -Adorable.
Your mates are so cheeky! Can't wait to see what you really did.
Pip pip, love! [both smooching.]
Chevron seems nice in a weird, maybe-secretly-not-nice way.
She's not nice.
She is my rival.
Whoa.
Makes sense, though.
-Where's she from, anyway? -Two blocks down.
But Chevron might have lived a world away.
She always got the better of me.
Whether it was stacking blocks or hand-turkey adornment or, most unforgivably, beating me out to be Head Robot at our end-of-the-year Class Robot Parade.
Real robots will look just like us.
Hmm.
I always worked so hard, but all I won was "Best Hair.
" Your hair is to die for.
It's 98th percentile.
But I'd trade it all to beat Chevron even once.
I keep this on me at all times as motivation.
Also it's gotten sticky over the years, so it's hard to shake.
Well, good news, sticky face! At the reunion, you can show her all the successfulness you've successed! You're the successiest girl I know! Totally! Every day you come up with some new undeniable hotness! I have accomplished a lot, probably more than Chevron.
This is my chance to finally come out on top! At last she'll bow before me! Well, not sure it's about making anyone bow before anyone, but Of course not.
But if bowing does happen, I'm not looking away.
Thanks for letting us be your plus-ones.
Okay, I got it all planned out.
I see Chevron, make small talk about how small we all used to be then boom! I hit her with everything I've got.
Pioneered the Dotcopter, developed natural deodorant for dogs.
Ooh, I see her.
Okay, hand, let's do this.
I'm doing brilliant, loves.
In fact, no big pig, but I crafted these hat-hair-less hats.
-See? No crease! -[all gasp.]
They've caught on right bloomingly.
Even made it into Kidmopolitan Magazine.
[gasps.]
I think I might randomly have a copy on me.
[all gasp.]
Abort! She's been in Kidmopolitan! -The Kidmopolitan? -Gasp-aragus! My hand can't compete with that! What do I do? Get it together, hand! Yeah.
So what if Chevron achieved literally your dream? You can decide to just be happy for her.
What else you got? I can't let her think that she's beaten me out again! Just the thought of her victory smirk Ugh! Relax, Dotrocket, there's an easy soloosh.
Just make stuff up that makes you seem cooler.
A little trick I picked up that time I fought my way out of an alien spy base.
So you want her to lie? Ugh, lying makes my ears sweat.
Eh, think of it as being honest about things that haven't happened yet.
There you are! Oh, Dot, love! Your hair is, oh, how do you say in the States, "on fleek"? Thanks.
Congrats on Kidmopolitan.
You heard about that? There is something posh about seeing your name in print.
Preserved forever, part of the future's history.
But what have you been up to? Well, II've mostly been promoting my new best-selling book.
You wrote a book? -Oh, one of those coloring books, surely.
-Nope.
It's a word-ing book that's full of important words about people and dots.
It's called The Life You Dot To Have A Holistic Guide To Help Today's Pretween Find Their Dot Within.
No big pig.
Wow, you wrote a book? Life-guidance authors rule! Do you have any tips for saying cool stuff in crowds? In fact, I just got back from a glamorous South American book tour.
Wow, Dot, all of this sounds literally unbelievable.
It's true.
Ask my two top aides.
Yeah! I'm her animal translator.
Lot of misguided pretween animals out there.
[chuckles.]
They need help.
I'm her bodyguard and an alien bounty-hunter on the side! [laughs.]
Forget that last part.
Yeah, it's classified anyway, so So happy for you.
Did you say you wrote a book? I had no idea, and I dedicated my life to following your every move.
Lucretia! Forgot you went to our preschool.
It's okay, I was kind of awkward then.
[laughs awkwardly.]
Anyway, can I have a copy of your book so I can read it continuously for the rest of my days on this Earth? Oh, shoot! I just realized.
I don't have any left! [wails.]
No prob-o, governor! I'll nick you one from the interwebs.
Bodyguard! Y-you won't be able to find it online, 'cause She used her full name, Dotjorgunorg, which is hard to spell, even for a seasoned animal translator like myself.
Anyone have a towel? Pray tell, why have you never used that moniker before? -For -Pass Her protection! Dot's the secret princess of Norwegia.
[excited chatter.]
Not to drop a clanger, but how come you never hung out with Emil, our Norwegian exchange student? Right, Emil.
Mm.
We had kind of a subtle, more Scandinavian friendship.
Too bad he's not here.
-I'm sure he'd tell you all about -You are royalty of our homeland? Would you honor me, my sovereign, with our national anthem? Yes, please.
Honor us all.
Sure, fellow countryman.
Oh, Norway Best country around It may be cold, but no one frowns Norway! [cheering.]
It is funny, your accent.
It sounded Swedish, not Norwegian.
Oh, it must've rubbed off on me.
I was just in Sweden for a good reason.
She was filming the new Horn-A-Corns movie, The Horn Identity.
Yep.
I play a new Horn-A-Corn, Hornala the Punctual! [cheering.]
Well, this has been fun.
See you all at the ten-year.
One sticky wicket You said you just got back from Sweden but also from a book tour in South America.
Which is it, love? Well thing about that is And that's how I won the international fencing championship! So you really need to see my world-class puppy-juggling act? And then I invented this surgery to permanently cure hiccups, which perfectly explains any logic holes in my story.
[cheering.]
And now I really to go! Adiós! [sighs.]
We actually pulled it off.
[hiccups.]
Dot! It must be fate! [hiccups.]
How about hitting me with some of your sweet, sweet surgery, huh? -[hiccups.]
-Uh, I can't.
I don't have my tools Rubbish, I have some right here.
Eh? Yeah, I shouldn't.
Lucretia has a nonregulation mouth, and I trust you completely! [hiccups.]
I've actually dreamt of this moment.
[hiccupping.]
[dramatic music.]
Aah! I can't do it! I didn't invent the cure to hiccups! [all gasp.]
I'm not a Norwegian princess either.
I didn't write a book.
I wasn't in a movie, and I'm not a world-class puppy juggler! So you're just a professional fencer, then? I'm none of it! I made it all up so you'd think I'd achieved more successfulness than you.
But I didn't, and that's okay, because I have two friends who would do anything for me.
And that is my proudest accomplishment.
[all gasp.]
I already thought you were great, but now you're super honest, too.
-[chuckles.]
Wow! -So brave! Her flaws humanize her! You may not be a princess, but you have the integrity of a queen! Oh.
Is raw honesty on trend now? Well, I've always been jealous of Dot.
[all gasp.]
She's so smart and inventive and accomplished and somehow still always has perfect hair! I had no idea.
We've wasted so much energy being rivals.
Imagine what we could accomplish if we worked together.
[Audrey.]
As President of the United States of the World, I hereby present you this award for accomplishing everything there is to accomplish.
[applause.]
-Mine.
Mine.
-No, no, it's mine.
Thank you.
-Mine! Mine! -Mine! Mine! Mine! [chorus.]
Ha! Yeah! Come on! Run! Yeah! Go Hey! Let's go! Turn it up Hey! Go! Yeah! Come on Run! Shh! Ha! Yeah! Yeah! Let's go Uh-huh Come on Yeah Hey!