How to Rock (2012) s01e12 Episode Script

109 - How to Rock a Part-Time Job

well, I could hear you call my name if I were miles away, come running when every other light goes out to shine for you's my specialty yes, I'd go to leaps and bounds don't care how cliche that sounds no, I'll never let you fall and hit the ground - no - So sign me up and I swear I'll be the person that'll pick you up just count on me every time and if all your walls break down I'll be the last one standing - ba-da, do-do-do, dah-dah, ooh-ooh, doh-oh rah-do-do, doh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh now, now, you know I'll be the last one standing so sign me up I swear I'll be the first in line oh count on me every time when all your walls break down I'll be the last one standing, oh-oh-oh 'cause if you need a friend tonight if you need me I'll be there if you ever need someone to cry on and when all your walls break down I'll be the last one standing - whoa-oh-oh oh, oh, oh, oh - whoa-oh-oh, whoa-oh oh, oh, oh, oh sign me up oh, oh, I'll be the last one standing I'll be the last one standing .
Uh, that rocked.
Uh, the song rocked.
The 48 texts you got during the song did not rock.
Yeah, it was all, "doo, doo.
" You're right.
That is annoying.
I don't have to.
They're from my mom.
Her credit card bill came in, And she is going through the roof.
You're seriously not gonna answer it? - Uh-uh.
- I'll answer it.
- No! Your mom loves me.
Hello, Mrs.
Simon.
Yeah, it's Okay, well I'll handle it.
Ugh.
How many times have I told you.
That credit card is for emergencies only? But those furry boots were an emergency.
And so was that cute vest.
And the skis, I need for when I learn how to ski.
Well, all I know is, somebody owes me $411.
Ah! But, mom Don't "but, mom" me.
I'm sorry, mom.
You're right.
I'll fix it.
I know you will, sweet pea.
That's why you're my baby.
I love you, mama.
Let's never do that again.
Ever! How're you gonna fix it? I don't know.
I need some way to pay her back.
Why don't you just get a job at the mall? Yeah, we all have jobs.
All of us except for Zander.
Sorry, but I don't work for the man.
I play my ukulele on the street, And people toss money in my case.
Didn't a dog use your ukulele case for a toilet? That is how dogs show their appreciation for music.
Well, I guess if you guys all have jobs, It wouldn't kill me to get one.
There's an opening at Danny mango's.
I could put in a good word for you.
You would do that for me? Of course I would.
We're friends.
Think about how much fun it'll be working together.
Okay, cool.
I'll take that job for $50 an hour.
It pays $7.
25 an hour.
Eh, $45 an hour, and we've got a deal.
Huh! Kacey Marie Simon! Fine, I'll do it.
Where did that come from? Only You Can Be You only I can be me you always want to be what you're not can't you be happy with what you've got? you're perfect the way you are with your insecurities, flaws, and scars your life's too short to worry don't you know it's true Only You Can Be You only I can be me Only You Can Be You only I can be me Only You Can Be You only I can be me Only You Can Be You only I can be me I can be me .
Now, remember, after the customer pays you, You hit total, and then you give them a High five! No, a receipt.
Receipt.
Right.
Got it.
Let's do this.
A small kiwi colada with protein powder, please.
Coming right up.
Kacey.
Down here.
What are you doing down there? We have a customer.
That's why I'm down here.
Kacey, you have to interact with the customers.
That's your job.
Oh, good.
I don't know you.
Can I get you something today? Little late, Kacey.
Thank you very much.
Kacey, you really don't have to hide.
Uh, I sort of do.
Imagine if Molly and Grace see me.
I will never live it down.
There is no shame in having a job.
And why do you even care.
What Molly and Grace think of you? They're not your friends.
You're right.
I know.
You're right.
Don't worry.
I got your back.
Oh, be right with you.
Kacey.
Can I order a smoothie today? You've got to be kidding me.
It is so hard getting good service around here, right? Kacey, Get back over here and do your job.
And the attitude.
No tip for that one.
and if you need a harmony on the track you know I got your back, I got your back yeah 'cause you know I'll be your friend even if it's not the trend, no you know I'm here for you through and through that's the truth I got you till the end, no thank you, thank you.
Anyone like to donate money to help a struggling musician.
With dreams of greatness and, uh, no current girlfriend? Thank you.
Oh, thank you so Coins are good.
Bills are better.
Thank you very much.
Move along.
Move it.
Hey, Romeo.
You work at the mall? No, sir, I work for the American dream.
The American dream? You mean the ice cream shop? No, sir, I mean the way of life.
Well, there's no collecting money here, So take your teeny guitar And get out! It is a ukulele, music hater! It's okay, baby.
He didn't mean it.
I'll go.
Stay put.
I know you don't love your uniform, but trust me, It could be way worse.
What could be worse? Behold! The human hamburger.
Okay, that's worse.
Have no fear.
Super slice is here! That's way worse.
You look dazzling.
Dazzling And greasy.
Well, I hate to split, But these coupons for pizza Pete's.
Aren't gonna give themselves out.
Neither are these for brodsky's burgers.
- Bye-bye.
- Uh-oh, perf alert.
You can do this.
What makes you so sure? Because we're in it together.
Come on.
Kacey Simon? Is it my birthday? Because seeing you here.
Is the greatest present anyone could give me.
Molly, I didn't know it was your birthday.
Welcome to Danny mango's.
The sign says you won't rest.
Until the customer is 100% satisfied.
That's what it says.
Great, then I'll have the mango explosion, Only instead of mango, I'll have strawberry.
And instead of lemonade, I'll have coconut.
And instead of lime sherbet, I'll have Really? You're right.
I don't want to be difficult.
And do a good job.
It's her birthday.
Brodsky's burgers, best burgers in the mall.
Psh.
You don't want burgers.
Pizza Pete's, best pizza in the whole wide world.
Here you go.
Here you go.
Burgers so good, you'll think you're dreaming.
Psh, pizza so good, You'll think you died and went to heaven.
You heard it here first.
That guy's pizza will kill you.
You're twisting my words! Just like his burgers will Twist your bowels.
My burgers are great for your bowels.
Where did everybody go? You scared them away, meat butt.
Don't make me slap your sauce off.
Oh, you want to go? This pepperoni want to rumble.
Oh, come on.
Want to go? - Let's bring it.
- Want to go? Too much coconut.
Too much strawberry.
Too much kiwi.
There is no kiwi.
Oh.
Then not enough kiwi.
Thank you very much.
Girls, please move along.
I'm trying not to attract attention.
Can we no waving, no, um Girls really, seriously, I'm flattered.
Look, I know it's hard to resist a handsome man with a uke, But could we just move this along? Hey, hey, hey! Hey, what the heck is going on here? You again? No, sir.
I am a different guy.
Hey! Hmm, it's better than the last three, But I'm still not 100% satisfied More like 93%.
For me, it's more like 92%.
Brain freeze! Kacey! Hey, Zander.
What's going on? Mall cop problems.
Got to hide.
- Quick, behind the counter.
- Okay, thank you.
You look like you could use a smoothie, on me.
Read my mind.
Whoa.
We can give away free smoothies? Employees get a free smoothie, But I don't want mine, so I give it to Zander.
Okay, I think I am finally starting to get this job.
Yeah, it's one of the cool things about working here, But it is a job.
Can't go nuts.
You have to be responsible.
Course.
Got it.
Ooh.
I have to pick up the paychecks.
While I'm gone, hold it down.
You know I can Hold it down.
Leg cramp.
Let me walk you out.
You never saw me.
- All right.
- Bye.
See you.
Hey, Kacey.
Hey, Dean.
How you doing? I you got a little something All over you.
I know.
It's chill.
I didn't know you got a job.
Well, just trying to get my responsibility on.
Well, I just wanted to say hey.
My friends and I are gonna go shoot some hoops.
Don't go! I can hook you up with aFree smoothie.
That's sweet, but, I mean, I got all my friends here.
Maybe another time.
Wait.
I can hook your friends up with free smoothies too.
You can do that? Are you kidding? I run this joint.
Sweet.
Yes.
Let's get this party started.
Yeah! One strawberry alarm clock.
Whoo! Two afternoon delights.
Whoo! And lime In the coconut.
So you want to get another smoothie? Really? We've already had, like, seven each.
I know, but I just love watching Kacey squirm.
It is your birthday.
It's not my birthday.
Whatever you say.
It's your birthday.
Danny to the mango! Danny to the mango! What's going on? This is not squirming.
This is not what we want to see.
Free energy boost for all the ladies! Whoo! Free energy boost, just what I need, yay! Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Whoo! I envy you.
You do? Yeah.
Because with this coupon for free garlic knots, You can finally be the person you've always dreamed of.
Whoa.
Are you really gonna listen to a slice of pizza? That was my plan, yes.
Well, I got news.
That coupon is for suckers! Suckers? You shut your mouth, beef brain.
Oh, you shut yours, or I will peel your pepperonis.
You can't do that.
I just did.
Well, then get off my turf.
Fine! From now on, everything from tube sock heaven.
To Bobby's hobbies is mine.
Which means I get everything.
From jelly Bean junction to ye olde taser shoppe.
What about the food court? Who gets that? - Well, that be no-man's-land.
Let all who step before it abandon Hope.
Arr.
Dude, the pirate thing's mine.
Right, right, right.
This is the Kacey special, people Mwah! Fortified with vitamin me! Whoo! Oh, oh! Oh! Uh, Kacey? Missed me.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you might be full.
From all the smoothies you forced me to make you earlier.
Uh, Kacey, I think you're forgetting.
That the customer is always right.
Right? Molly, these are free, So technically, you're not a customer.
Oh! Now I'm 100% satisfied! Whoo! Danny to the mango.
Danny to the mango.
Danny to the mango.
What are you sneaking around for? Kevin's been stealing my customers, But I'm gonna put an end to it.
What's in the bag? Crickets from the pet store.
As soon as he steps into no-man's-land, It's go time.
And action.
Hey, man.
Sorry things got a little intense between us.
- Just because we're rival life-sized food puppets.
Doesn't mean we can't be friends.
Oh, man, what's going on? What did you do? I may have put in your bun And two large ones.
Burgers, get your burgers here.
You're going down, pizza man.
Make a move.
Food fight! Everybody in the house say, "smoothie.
" Smoothie! Kacey! Kacey! Are you out of your mind? Are you out of your mind? Okay, that's enough.
- Okay - Stop! And don't say, "stop.
" And don't say, "don't say stop.
" Kacey, what is going on here? Nothing! You know, just using my employee free smoothies.
To get the party started.
You get one a day.
One? Oh.
So then I'm good for the year? Is there even one paying customer in this place? Uh Maybe that guy! That's Danny mango.
Hey, Stevie.
Hey, Stevie's friend.
Business is booming! Look at these crowds.
Ladies, What is your secret? Uh You know - Just good old-fashioned customer service.
All right.
Well, let's open up the cash register.
And see how Danny mango's doing.
Are you sure you want to do that? Counting the loot is Danny mango's favorite part.
Of being Danny mango.
I'm doomed.
Where's all of Danny mango's money? That's all of Danny mango's money.
Please explain the tremendous lack of money.
To Danny mango.
Um, I kind of got carried away.
And gave out free stuff to everyone.
Stevie, did this happen under your supervision? Yes.
Danny mango's gonna have to fire both of you.
From Danny mango's? No, from the hot dog hut.
Yes, from Danny mango's.
All right, everybody pay for whatever's left in their cup.
Hey, Kacey, we heard you got fired.
I guess everyone knows.
I'm so glad you got fired, because those four seconds.
When I was trying to be fake nice to you.
Were the worst four seconds of my life.
She's so honest, you just have to love her.
You have to love her.
That's what I just said.
Hey, have any of you guys seen Stevie? - No.
- No.
I think she's still upset.
Stevie! Are you okay? I've been calling and texting.
Didn't you get my messages? Yeah.
I should go to class.
Look, Stevie, You were there for me, and I let you down.
I just got so caught up in being popular, I forgot about my responsibilities, Especially my responsibility to you as a friend.
Thanks, but I didn't have that job.
So I could pay my mom back for skis, And I can't pretend like everything's cool, Because I needed that job, and now I don't have it.
I got to go.
Thank you for coming to Danny mango's.
Buy 25 smoothies, get the last one half price.
Well, if it isn't Stevie's friend.
Or whatever your name is.
Why are you back? Forget to give away some of my stuff? You mean some of Danny mango's stuff? Normally, I would laugh at a Danny mango joke, But unfortunately, he, Danny mango, is sad.
I wanted to tell you that everything.
Was my fault, Mr.
Mango, not Stevie's, So can you please just give Stevie her job back? I don't know.
Those smoothies cost a lot of money: Real fruit, high-quality cups.
I have an idea for Danny mango.
Come to Danny mango's! Buy one smoothie, get the second smoothie.
For the exact same price! Whoo-hoo! yeah, you get that second smoothie for the exact same price uh-huh I really appreciate you getting me my job back.
Well, I know how important it was to you, So I had to get it back.
Thank you.
You're a pretty good friend.
Pretty good? Hello! Giant piece of fruit here.
Okay, a very good friend.
So, uh, how long do you have to wear it for? Well, I have to pay my mom back.
And Danny mango, So pretty much the rest of my life.
- Hey, good-looking, I could go for a nice piece of fruit.
Well, keep on looking.
Ah, looking ripe, Kacey.
Say, what's a burger got to do.
To get a free smoothie around this joint? Pay $3.
75 around this joint.
- Oh, so, uh, what's with the switch-up? We got fired for fighting.
So I hooked up Nelson with the burger place.
And I hooked up Kevin at the pizza joint.
Sweet! Dude, straighten up.
Your posture does not say "pizza.
" Me? I'm not buying you as a burger for a second.
Oh, you want to dance, pizza man? Let's dance.
Food fight! - Hey! Ah-ah-ah! What did I tell you? You said I couldn't perform here.
If I wasn't an employee.
Well, guess what.
I work at milk shake shack.
You do? - Mm-hmm.
Well, all right.
Keep the walkway clear! Milk shake shack? But I thought you said you'd never work for the man.
I won't.
There is no milk shake shack.
No milk shake shack? Up top.
Whoo! Yes.
Did you just say there's no milk shake shack? Well, first of all, that was a private conversation, And, uh, second of all Coupon?
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