Jake and the Fatman (1987) s01e12 Episode Script

1
I'll say this about the
Fatman: he's a sweet guy.
Listen, creep, I'm going to
take you apart like a clock.
JAKE: He can be
tough when he has to be.
J.L.: Jake Styles?
Don't ask me how
he can live the way he
does on a cop's salary.
Some people do seem
to like him, however.
But he's a damn good
investigator, and he's mine.
(theme playing)
He's a good guy.
Don't you forget it.
(jazz music playing)
♪
♪
JAKE: Check the tickets.
WOMAN: Well don't
worry so much about it.
Well, I do worry
Don't worry so much
Oh! Oh, watch the suit!
Watch the suit! Sticky hands!
Jake, we had a great
time. Oh, I did, too.
It was terrific; thank you
for letting us stay with you.
Oh, listen no, I had a good
time, too. Don't do that now.
Of all the cousins,
you are the best.
And please, don't worry.
I insist on paying for the
damage to the apartment.
Robin, listen I mean it.
We talked about
that. Will you stop it?
I mean it. Look,
I'll take care of it.
I can't. Look hey, hey
You going to be a good boy
and have a safe trip, huh?
You promised we'd go surfing.
Look, I'll tell you what.
We'll go next time.
How about that, okay?
Give Uncle Jake a big
hug and a thank you.
Oh, well, watch your hands
now. Watch the hands.
All right, you be
a good boy, okay?
Thanks, Uncle Jake. You bet.
Jake, what is it?
I'm just going to
miss you very much.
Oh No, I mean it. Come here.
I'm going to miss
you very much. Oh
Me, too. Okay. Why don't you
get on the plane now, okay?
I want you to
have a safe flight.
Be a good girl,
okay? Okay. Sure.
All right, you call me.
You listen to your
mother, okay? Okay.
All right, be a good boy.
Call me, Robin,
all right? I will.
Okay. Bye.
Talk about your great moves.
Talking about blowing a hole
in an alibi a mile
wide. (chuckles)
You were fantastic.
Derek, please.
Just a few more
paragraphs like that
and then stop, will you please?
I must preserve my modesty.
You were great. You were great.
Well, it's all in a
day's work, kid.
McCabe?
I'm offended you didn't
come to my bail hearing.
Derek, have you met
Tony O. Sebastian?
No, sir. I don't believe so.
This is Derek here.
One of the truly corrupt men
in our fair city, huh? Oh.
I assume you met bail.
We'll manage somehow.
$2 million.
Where am I supposed
to get that kind of money?
$2 million?
(elevator bell dings)
Hmm (laughs).
Good-bye.
Finally! I've been
trying to reach you.
Well, I've been in court.
I am the district attorney,
in case you've forgotten.
Is Max all right?
Of course, he is. He
lives better than you do.
Well, he doesn't have to
listen to you, for one thing.
That insult goes
into the ledger.
Jake is on the phone for you.
It may be important.
Well, why the hell
didn't you say so?
Eh, hello, Max.
Relax, my boy.
Your old dad is here.
Yes, he is.
(clears throat)
Yeah. What have you got, Jake?
Didn't Detroit tell us that
Sagittarius had returned?
Well, that was the theory.
You're not going to believe
it. He just flew into town.
Here?
Are you sure?
I'm positive. I'm sitting here
at the airport watching him.
All right, I'll send backup.
No, no don't do that.
Too late for that.
I'm looking at the best
hit man in the business
and he doesn't
even know I'm here.
I'm going to find
out where he's going
and who he's meeting.
Okay, but be very careful.
Yeah.
All right, I've got to go.
♪
(engine starts)
DRIVER: East
terminal, lot three.
Watch your step.
MAN: Are you going
back to the west terminal?
Yes, we are.
♪
♪
♪
♪
(gunshot)
Lose it!
Drop it real easy.
(gunshot)
(coughs)
(monitor beeps)
MAN: Monitor the I.V.
WOMAN: Yes, doctor.
Increase the oxygen flow.
I want this man checked
every five minutes
for the next hour, understand?
I didn't want to drop him.
All I wanted to
do was talk to him.
This arsenal he
was carrying makes it
pretty obvious he
was here on business.
All of his IDs
are under the name
"Bradford Archer."
His return flight's
booked for tomorrow night.
24 hours that's pretty fast.
If you're waiting for a
statement from this man,
I don't think he
has much time left.
Thank you.
WOMAN (over P.A.):
Inhalation therapist to ICU.
Inhalation therapist to ICU.
(monitor beeping)
Do you want a priest or anyone?
I'm J.L. McCabe,
the district attorney.
Tell me what you're doing here.
Hi.
You remember me?
No?
We met a couple of years ago
in a hotel in Providence.
You don't remember that, do you?
My partner and I were snowbound.
We were babysitting a witness
we were supposed to bring back.
I bet you never even
knew my partner's name.
His name was Bud Harden.
He was a nice guy.
He was married,
had a couple kids
Jennifer and Matthew.
It was a small hotel
near the airport.
It had no room service,
so I went downstairs
to get some coffee
and some doughnuts,
and that's when
you hit the room.
You took out Harden
and the witness.
The witness was a little guy.
He never hurt anybody.
You remember that, you bastard?
I met you coming out of
the elevator, downstairs.
I've never forgotten your face.
Who are you working for now?
Who's the contract?
Go to hell.
(knocking on door)
(door opens) J.L., is it you?
Hi, Jake.
Come on in.
Well
What have we got here, huh?
(chuckles)
(sniffs)
Oh, linguini with
white clam sauce.
Yeah. I'm not hungry;
you're welcome to it.
Oh, no.
No, no, no. I had
something at the hospital.
(sniffs)
How's our friend?
He didn't make it, Jake.
He died about a half hour ago.
Did you get anything from him?
No, not a thing.
Jake, you've really outdone
yourself with this dish.
Why do I feel bad about
killing a guy like that?
Maybe only because you're human.
Well, the problem is, is
whoever hired Sagittarius,
he's just going to turn around
and hire somebody else now.
But not until he finds
out that his man is dead.
That's right.
You got a little parmigiano?
Hmm?
Yeah. Listen, I, uh,
I checked the car rental place.
Bradford Archer
gave his local address
as the Messina Hotel.
Yeah?
Forget it, Jake.
No, just lis
Will you just listen
to me for a sec?
You don't happen to have
any of that wonderful
Chianti left, do you?
(chuckles) No, but I've
got some pinot grigio.
You want some of that?
Yeah, that'd be
fine. Okay. Look,
the only thing we know
about Sagittarius is
that all of his jobs are
booked through this guy
named Lang, out of
Kansas City, right?
Now, that's 1,500 miles.
Nobody knows anything about him;
they don't even know
what he looks like.
The guy's a mystery man.
So here's my idea.
I know what your idea
is and you can forget it.
Look, just listen
to me, will you?
We're physically the same size.
I can double for this guy.
Got any Italian bread?
No, I don't. Listen.
No, that's okay.
I want to check in
to the motel as Bradford
Archer and see what happens.
I know what can happen,
and I'd hate to lose a
damn good cook like you.
Jake, the problem is,
we don't know how much the guy
who ordered the hit knows
about Sagittarius, right?
I can deal with that.
I can tap dance around it.
I can do this, J.L.
All right, I'll call
Kansas City.
Make sure this Lang character
is where he's supposed to be.
All right, good.
♪
(phone rings)
(ringing continues)
Yeah?
MAN: Archer, where
the hell have you been?
You're late.
It was guaranteed
you'd be on time.
Time's relative.
I'm here, that's
all that counts.
There's a park down the block.
Meet me there, 8:30
tomorrow morning.
Make it 9:00
How's that?
I said 9:00. I like a
leisurely breakfast.
How will I know you?
Don't worry. I'll know you.
(line clicks, dial tone drones)
Archer?
Who are you?
Kane.
A down payment.
Don't you want to count it?
People don't short me.
I checked the airline.
Your plane was on time.
How come you were so late
getting to the motel?
Well, maybe I got a haircut,
maybe I met a lady,
or maybe it's none
of your business.
You go back to the motel
and be there next time I call.
Hey.
I didn't come all this way
to sit in some fleabag motel
so you could tell me to wait.
I came here to do a job.
You'll do the job, tonight.
I'm handling the details.
For who?
For me, that's who.
I don't work blind.
What the hell are
you talking about?
This is exactly the way
you handled the Freeman
contract in Atlantic City.
I checked.
You came in after
everything was laid out for you
and you pulled the trigger.
Hey, you can't walk out now.
Everything is set up.
Come on. We can
work something out.
Just give me a little time.
I wait two hours.
You tell your boss,
the down payment's
nonrefundable.
You understand that?
You tell him that for me.
♪
Mr. Mathias?
Andrea, can you excuse us?
Did it go okay?
Not exactly.
He wants to know
everything, like who hired him.
You're to keep my name
out of it, is that clear?
JAKE: Too late.
I'm Bradford Archer.
Steve Mathias.
I followed your boy here.
You should learn to
be a little more cautious.
What do you want?
This setup's
a little too cute for me.
I need to know
who's paying the bills.
Now you know.
What are you drinking?
I'm not.
Let's talk about the job.
Who's the target?
I'll let you know.
What's with all the mystery?
Hey, listen.
This is the arrangement
we had with your guy in K.C.
This is the way we agreed
you would do this job.
You're on a need-to-know basis.
If you objected to those
terms, Lang should've said so.
Now, are you in or out?
We'll do it your way, for now.
Hey, how is Lang anyway?
Still complaining
about that bad back?
What is it, dear?
I need the keys
to the convertible.
Of course.
Excuse me.
So how's Lang's back?
Look, we don't discuss
his orthopedic problems.
We just discuss business.
Look, if this is your
idea of a security check,
why don't you pick up
the phone, call Lang,
and have me checked out, okay?
Santo?
Now that you're here,
I think you should stay.
Good.
When do I get the gory details?
I'll let you know soon enough.
Show Mr. Archer to a room.
Check Lang in Kansas City.
Looking for something?
Yeah. I was looking for a phone.
None here.
Yeah, I noticed.
Who are you?
Andrea.
I'm Brad.
You live here?
In a manner of speaking.
Yeah?
So who are you
now? Are you the wife?
We're still negotiating.
So, what's your story?
Independent contractor.
The phone's upstairs.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Sid, listen.
Could you describe him for me?
Uh-huh.
It's Archer, all right.
Uh, tell me,
Sid, would he know
about your bad back?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, okay.
All right, thanks.
No, no, no, no.
Just a couple of
questions, that's all.
All right. I'll
talk to you later.
So he checks out?
And the bad back?
Lang says, he's Mr. Invisible.
Talks about business
and nothing else.
Hi.
Where are you going?
I thought I'd go to lunch.
I, uh, don't think it's
such a good idea.
I think it's a great idea.
Great ideas are hard to come by.
Then get in.
(crowd chatter,
soft music playing)
I met Steven when I was 17.
(laughs)
Several lifetimes ago.
Do you love him?
I used to.
He's changed.
I hate it.
Yeah?
Why do you stay?
Oh, I left once.
I didn't get far enough.
Kane found me.
Just what is your angle?
Me?
It's hard to say.
But I'll tell you,
I think I will definitely
try one of these specials.
They look awfully good.
If you'll excuse
me, I'll be right back.
J.L.: Now, I want you to pay
close attention, Max,
because we're going
to ask questions later, okay?
Here we go.
Who is the nicest dog
in the whole wide world?
Is it you?
(barks)
Attaboy!
(laughs): Oh, that's wonderful.
Good boy.
I hate to interrupt
such a tender moment,
but Jake is on the phone.
Gertrude, would you
look on your phone?
There's a little button
called "intercom."
In the future,
use it or lose it!
I wouldn't have to
look at your face.
Yeah, Jake?
Where are you?
Look, I'm up the coast.
The guy's name
is Steven Mathias,
and it goes down
tonight like we figured.
Steven Mathias, huh?
Oh, I know him.
He runs a very successful
trucking company.
Why is he buying a killer?
I don't know. There's
still no word on the target.
They're playing it real tight.
(tires squeak)
♪
What are you doing here?
Where's Archer?
If I leave now, we've
blown our chance.
Hopefully, I'm going
to have the target
and who's behind it
in the next hour or so.
Well, you may not have
another couple of hours.
Well, they've got me bottled
up in Mathias' beach house.
It's too risky to
use their phone.
I'll send Derek.
Look, baby, I can't
Look, look, why do you
Why do you make me
crazy like this, okay?
You've got to do this
without me, all right?
I'm going to talk
to you later, honey.
I want you to be there.
Who was that?
My mother.
J.L.: And that is spelled
M-A-T-H-I-A-S.
I want to know
the whole shooting
match on him
His business, his family,
any extracurricular activity.
I want it all.
The man's working with someone,
and I want to know who.
All right? Thank you.
Oh, Derek?
Yes, sir?
(clears throat)
I've got a special
assignment for you.
Sir?
Undercover.
You're kidding, right?
No,
I'm not kidding.
Nothing fancy.
You've got to
rendezvous with Jake
below Mathias' house
on Shoreline Beach.
If he has it,
Jake will pass you
the name of the person
Sagittarius was hired
to kill, and, hopefully,
who's behind the hiring.
All right.
Yeah, let's see.
You're blond,
you're probably a lot too old,
but you could pass
for a surfer, I think.
No prob.
Hang ten, the Big Kahuna.
You'll be
walking with your surfboard
and casually meet with Jake.
I think I can manage it.
Thank you.
Uh, Mr. McCabe?
What?
Do you think I have time maybe
to go to a tanning
parlor before?
Maybe not.
Sebastian. Steven.
Everything going
according to schedule?
That's, uh, what I wanted
to talk to you about.
I'm, uh
I'm just, uh, not
sure about this guy.
I would hate for there
to be a problem, Steven.
Just tell me if everything is
going according to schedule.
Yes, yes, yes, it is.
Wonderful.
The quicker, the better.
I have a small security
problem in my organization,
a leak, which I hope
to rectify shortly.
Meanwhile,
your handling this for
me has been a big help.
You see, Steven,
I knew our partnership
would be fine, just fine.
But McCabe is
getting a little too close.
Once that fat man is dead,
I'll rest a lot easier.
(door opens and closes)
♪
(door closing)
♪
(indistinct chatter)
Archer?
Mr. Mathias doesn't
want you wandering all around.
He may have you on a leash,
but he doesn't have me on one.
Hey, relax, man.
You relax, you get careless.
You get careless, you die.
I saw that in a movie once.
I don't remember which one.
Let's go.
J.L.: I got your message, Derek.
Too bad.
I'm sorry, sir. We
never even got close.
It's not your fault.
(sighs)
Just don't track any more sand
into my office, will you?
Well, what have you got?
Mathias is squeaky clean.
Damn.
The man has no
criminal record, not even
a parking ticket.
Damn it to hell,
Allison! Sorry, sir.
Well, keep digging.
Get into it deeper.
Otherwise
Jake's in a lot of trouble.
(phone ringing)
Yeah?
J.L., it's Jake.
Yes, Jake. What do you have?
Listen, Mathias just
went into business
with a company
named Interlane Limited.
You got it?
Yeah.
What are you doing in here?
Be quiet.
Come here.
What if I said I could help you?
Who are you? I
can't tell you that.
You're going to
have to trust me.
Why should I?
Because you've got nobody else.
Andrea, I know I've got no right
to ask you this, but I want you
to forget that you ever
saw me come up here.
You understand?
All I can tell you
is that it could
save someone's life.
What's going on?
What the hell are
you doing in here?
It's not what you think.
I'm not a fool.
Hey, ho, this is my
play, not the lady's.
You got a problem,
it's with me, not her.
Andrea, get out of here.
I came up here
to kill some time.
She was on the phone. That's it.
You've got a job to do.
That's your priority.
That's what I'm trying to do.
I need to know the
name of the target.
You'll know the name when
you have to and not before.
Whatever you say.
Mr. McCabe, we got a break.
I found those incorporation
papers on Interlane.
It seems it's pretty much a
dummy corporation. Yeah?
But guess who the
general partner is.
Tony O. Sebastian.
(chortling)
Good work, Allison, good work.
If Sebastian is behind this hit,
the target could
be one of 100 guys,
so get a hold of
Detective Simmons
and tell him to pick
up Blinky Eisler for me,
but tell him to be careful.
Well, go on!
(sighs)
(splashing)
Are you nuts
bringing me out here?
Anybody sees
me, I'm in the pond.
Look,
we made a deal
once, (Max whining)
but you can't keep doing this.
Sebastian's no dummy, McCabe.
He's gonna get
wise I'm the leak.
Are you listening?
Can you hear me?
(sighs)
There's going to be a
hit going down tonight.
Time's running out, Blinky.
I need to know who
Sebastian is gunning for.
Do you think he
calls me all the time
to tell me what he's doing?
Come on, get serious, McCabe.
Blinky, do you think
that being a DA is easy?
On the contrary,
you wouldn't believe
some of the unflattering
things they say about me.
I've been accused
of going back on deals
I make with informants,
of making a deal with a witness,
getting what I want from him,
and then throwing
him to the wolves.
I have actually been
accused of going back
on my promises of immunity.
Well, of course, the
people who said that
are now in prison, so
we will discount them.
I don't know from
any hit, McCabe.
I don't know from
that, all right?
You wanted to see me?
A change of plans: I want you
to go along with Archer.
Me go in? I could be spotted.
That's why we
brought in somebody
from the outside.
Don't care.
After he makes the hit,
I want you to take
him out on the spot.
You understand?
I understand.
It's time.
Guess I'll see you around.
I hope so.
Andrea, I want to talk to you.
I was just saying good-bye.
Get inside!
People have
business to attend to.
Go on.
Do it.
JAKE: Let's go.
(engine starting)
All right.
This is the inside of
the restaurant. Yeah.
Your target eats right
here every Thursday night.
You come in through the kitchen.
This is the easiest
money you'll ever make.
You can't miss him.
They call him the Fatman.
Go.
Where's he going?
Inside.
He's your backup.
No, no, no, I do this alone.
Not tonight.
Well, let's see.
I'll have the prime rib rare,
baked potato, creamed spinach,
and save me a piece of
Ollie's famous cheesecake
for dessert with
a dollop of, uh
(laughing): strawberry
ice cream, yeah.
Oh, and don't forget to
bring some low-cal sweetener
for my coffee, will you?
Thank you.
Give me a Scotch.
Make it a double, would you?
Where the hell you
think you're going?
Inside with you.
Look, I told you
I do this alone.
Look, you just take
care of the Fatman.
Santo will cover your back,
and I'll hold the kitchen.
Mmm.
Oh, thank you.
All right, freeze.
Let's go hey, you.
Don't turn around.
Up against the wall.
Let's go, come on.
Keep your mouth
shut or you're dead,
you understand me?
Now.
♪
It's a setup!
(guns cocking)
MAN: Think about it.
All right, drop the
guns, gentlemen.
You're slightly outnumbered.
You set this up?
No, I never got the chance.
Get 'em out of here
before I lose my appetite.
Good work,
ladies and gentlemen
of the department.
Very good.
(chuckles)
(sighs)
What's the matter, Jake?
(chuckling)
How did you know?
I'll tell you what happened.
(clears throat)
Earlier this year,
a dummy company
bailed out Mathias financially.
Now, the guy behind that company
is an old friend of ours,
Tony O. Sebastian.
You remember him, don't you?
How'd you know
you were the target?
How'd you know that?
Well, I had a little
visit with Blinky Eisler.
Took a while, but
he finally talked.
I knew something was
wrong as soon as I saw you.
No. No, I did.
How could you?
Because Max isn't here.
Ah.
You would never
risk Max getting hurt.
(laughing)
Well, even though
Max is half deaf,
he's very sensitive
to loud noises.
Thank God I'm soft-spoken,
or I would drive him crazy.
(chuckling)
Hey, how about having
some dinner with me?
No, no, I've, uh, got
a little work to do. Oh.
Well, you did a good job, Jake.
You know something, uh
you didn't do too bad yourself.
(laughing) I'll see you around.
Good night, Jake, good night.
I'm stunned.
I I don't know what to say.
How could I know that?
I'm finished.
(sirens approaching)
(indistinct police
radio broadcast)
It's Archer with the police.
Said I'd be back.
You're a cop.
Mm-hmm.
JAKE: Where's Mathias?
(gunshot)
Oh, my God. No, no.
Come on, let's go.
(indistinct radio broadcast)