Mission: Yozakura Family (2024) s01e12 Episode Script

1
[soft music playing]
[siren wailing]
[man] Hmm?
[alarm blaring]
[guard] It seems
like he's already made it outside.
[Seiji] Man The fact that he'd been
behaving himself should've tipped me off.
GONNA POP OUT FOR A BI
-BAN
[Seiji] Damn that old geezer.
[chuckles]
[opening theme song playing]
MISSION: YOZAKURA FAMILY
Hope you had a good day at school.
PLAN 12
PRISON BREAK GRANDPA
You know how the house's facial ID
gets reset if you're away for a year?
[Ban] I didn't feel like dealing
with all the traps,
so I hopped in just before school let out.
[sighs]
But anyway, you're my new grandchild, huh?
You sure look like a stiff.
Nice to meet you.
I'm your grandpa.
[Ban gasps]
An intruder!
[Ban] What? Did nothing I said
get through to you?
Hey, hold on!
Time out!
-[gunshot echoes]
-[Ban cries out]
Jeez, for a second there,
I thought I saw Grandma.
Sorry, Mutsumi. I kind of freaked out.
Anyone would have.
That was proper self-defense.
[Mutsumi] Let's start over.
I'll introduce you.
This is Grandpa Ban.
Nice to meet you!
Please use this, if you'd like.
[Ban] Why, thank you, young lady!
Well, who knew that you'd hired
such a lovely maid while I was away?
Would you like to go shopping with me now?
[Mutsumi coughs]
[Taiyo] Who is this guy?
Huh?
Right, enough with the jokes.
Those reflexes of yours weren't bad!
What a good husband you are!
Grandpa's mind is at ease now!
It was worth coming
all this way to see you!
Here. A wedding gift-slash-pocket money
from me.
[Taiyo gasps]
You didn't really come here
just to congratulate us, did you?
For my beloved newlywed grandchildren?
Of course I did!
I wish I'd come sooner, actually.
[Ban] Well, and there's one other reason.
Taiyo! Time for a fun outing
with your new grandpa!
-Come on, let's go!
-What? All of a sudden?
[Ban] Huh?
What are you doing here, Gramps?
[Mutsumi] Big Bro!
Hey, Kyoichiro. I thought
you were away on an overseas mission.
[Kyoichiro] I got an emergency request
from the police.
Namely, "Bring back the escaped convict,
Ban Yozakura."
Escaped convict?
Oh, come on, don't put it that way.
It's misleading.
[laughing]
[Ban] I'm just permanently stationed
inside that prison
as part of my mission
to gather info from the underworld.
Okay? I'll be going back soon, so let me
have some fun outside for a moment!
[Kyoichiro] Out of the question.
Gramps, you're a walking leak who'll spill
any secret just to impress the ladies.
SCAMS, CORRUPTION, ASSASSINATIONS,
SPIES, BACKDOOR DEALS, SCANDALS
Except for emergencies,
you're prohibited from going out.
[Taiyo] He's unfit to be a pro!
Hate to break it to you,
but your vacation's over.
I don't want to hurt you. Don't resist.
[chuckles]
Well, someone's gotten cocky
in the short time since I last saw him.
[Ban] Seems like he's forgotten
who changed his diapers.
Hmm?
Stop me if you can, greenhorn.
[Taiyo] What? He slipped through?
-[beeps]
-[explosion booms]
[Mutsumi gasps]
[coughs, gasps]
Oh, no. He took Taiyo with him.
[cell phone vibrates]
[Seiji] How's it looking?
-[Kyoichiro] Sorry! He got away from me.
-[sighs]
[Seiji] Is that right?
Well, it is what it is.
[Kyoichiro] That said,
I've got Taiyo tracking him.
I'll send you the coordinates later.
[Mutsumi] A photo?
Listen up, Taiyo.
With his Joint Dislocation Skills
and Flexible Skeleton,
Grandpa Ban is a legendary mole who
can infiltrate or escape any facility.
He's gathered a massive amount of data
over several decades.
There are as many people gunning for it
as there are stars in the sky.
[Kyoichiro] It won't kill him
if you rough him up a bit.
Catch him before things get out of hand,
for the old guy's sake as well.
Roger that.
[Kyoichiro] So what's Gramps up to now?
We're at what he says
is a members-only bar.
[Ban] All right!
You bet I'm going to order
the hottest diamond ring on the market!
Aah! Ban, that's so generous of you!
[Taiyo] He's hitting on women
left and right!
[woman] Aww. You're so cute, little boy!
-[Taiyo] H-Hey, cut that out!
-[woman] Is that a cosplay?
[Taiyo] I have a wife!
While I'm being generous,
want to hear some hilarious state secrets?
Yes! Tell us, tell us!
[Taiyo] I'm on the front lines
of an info leak!
Using the country's slush funds,
they and
You're out!
-Whoa!
-[Ban chuckles]
-[Taiyo grunts]
-[laughs]
You're way too young to hold me back.
Huh?
[Taiyo] Extreme Glue, Nanao Rice Cake.
I'm sorry, but this is it!
[chuckles]
So naive.
The only thing that can stop me
is a beautiful woman.
[both] Oh, wow! Ban, you're so cool!
[Taiyo] Damn that geezer.
Come on, youngster.
I'll give you some training!
You
[Taiyo] Damn it! [grunting]
[Ban laughs]
Give it another five years.
Then you'll be able to at least graze me.
[Taiyo] Is this guy actually old?
So, why did you go through all the trouble
of breaking out of prison?
[Taiyo] If you wanted to see us, couldn't
you just wait till your mission was over?
It had to be today.
What?
A youngster like you
wouldn't get it just yet.
It's been a long time, Mr. Ban.
Here is the three-year-old
Kitamare vintage sake.
Ah! That was Grandma's favorite sake.
Sure brings back memories!
Give me a few bottles.
All right, Taiyo. Pick yourself up
by guzzling this down! Go!
You do know I'm underage, right?
[sighs]
Being a spy is all about
drinking, smoking, and women.
You beta males nowadays are so boring.
At this rate, you'll never
give me a great-grandchild.
[Taiyo coughing] G-Great-grandchild?
[laughs] You naive modern kid, you!
Well then, for future reference,
how about I go into graphic detail
about me and Grandma making out?
[Taiyo] I really don't need to hear that.
Save it, please.
Grandma was a gorgeous woman with
lustrous, dark hair and a cheerful smile.
[Taiyo] I'm not listening.
Before I met her,
I had no one else in the world
[Ban] I never opened up to anyone,
and I didn't care what happened,
not even to myself.
[Taiyo] Just like me?
[Ban] It was Keiko who shone a light
on the life I was leading so recklessly.
[Keiko chuckles]
Take care of yourself
like you take care of me, Ban.
[Ban] She was a fine woman.
She was way too good for the likes of me.
I'm getting the sense that you're like me.
That's why I wanted
to talk about this with you,
as a guy who also
married into the Yozakura clan.
Love may be infinite, but life is finite.
Cherish the present
so you'll never have any regrets.
[Ban] For you two to be happy,
that's all I ever want.
[Taiyo] You don't have to worry.
Mutsumi has made me happier
than I ever could've hoped.
[Taiyo] I don't have a single regret.
I'm going to do all that I can so that
Mutsumi feels the same about me.
That's really the only thing I can do.
[chuckles]
[Ban gulps]
[Ban laughs] You know what,
I like you, Taiyo!
Okay, let me take you
to an even better bar than this one!
Welcome.
-[Taiyo] I don't think
-[Ban] Don't be shy!
-I told you it's all right! [laughs]
-Ow, ow, ow!
-[handcuff clicks]
-Huh?
I knew I'd find you here.
These handcuffs will explode if you try
to take them off by force or break them.
You'd better behave yourself if you
don't want to blow off your wife's hand.
K-Keiko!
Sorry we got here so late, Taiyo.
Mutsumi?
[Mutsumi] Let me introduce you two.
This is my grandma.
Sorry for my idiot husband, Taiyo.
KEIKO YOZAKURA
EIGHTH FAMILY HEAD
G-Grandma
Keiko!
I never thought I'd get to see you!
[Taiyo] She's alive?
Unbelievable. Thank goodness
Mutsumi called me.
Look! It's your favorite sake, Kitamare!
And I also consulted the girls
to buy you this popular ring!
So let's go on a date today!
[Keiko] Don't be ridiculous.
You and I both have work to do.
Now get yourself back to prison.
[Ban] What? No way!
Come on, it's our anniversary!
I want to make out with you, Keiko!
It's their anniversary, huh?
That explains why he broke out today.
Right. I'd forgotten about it, too,
until I saw the photo.
Well, I guess I know how he feels.
[gentle music playing]
[Taiyo] Mutsumi has made me happier
than I ever could've hoped.
I don't have a single regret.
Oh.
Right.
She got herself a good husband, huh?
Yes. Just like I did.
[Mutsumi] Apparently Grandpa managed
to cry his way
into getting a date just for that one day.
The one thing to learn from him is
how to be so lovey-dovey even in old age.
[Goliath purring]
KING OF CHEATING
I'm home, my darling grandkids!
I ended up breaking out of prison again!
Here! I brought you
some Prison Break treats.
Oh, Ayaka?
Where is everybody?
[Ayaka] They've all gone out today.
It's the monthly family shopping trip.
What?
[Ban] I wanted to go, too!
So, what should we do after this?
I'm going over to Kane's,
so let's split up.
Yeah, me too.
[Nanao] I'm going to the drugstore.
Want to come with me, Big Bro Kengo?
Yeah, I'm in!
Okay, why don't we split up for now?
All right, let's head out now.
We're counting on you
to take care of the bill, "eldest son."
[scoffs] As if I'd fall for that.
The only thing I'm paying for is Mutsumi
Won't you?
[Kyoichiro] Check, please!
Thank you very much!
[Mutsumi chuckles]
All right, let's meet up in two hours.
Okay!
[Taiyo] You know, it's been a while
since I was last at this mall.
We used to come here all the time
way back when
[Mutsumi] Taiyo?
Is something the matter?
No, it's nothing.
By the way, what are we getting today?
Let's see.
Tissues, toilet paper, milk, eggs
bullets, hand grenades
[Taiyo] Hold up. Hold up. Hold up.
Man, I've been dying to see this movie.
Sui, don't piss yourself in fear, okay?
You hear that, Oga?
What? Why me?
[Mutsumi] Oh, there it is!
Let's see, for 100 yen
[Taiyo] So Mutsumi's
into this kind of thing?
[Mutsumi] Left thrice.
Right once. Left twice.
[Taiyo] She's a bit childlike
in some ways.
All right! Here it is!
[gasps]
Whoa, heavy!
[Taiyo] Hand grenades?
It sure is crowded, huh?
Y-Yeah.
Welcome! May I take your order?
100 kilograms
of iron tapioca milk tea, please!
[Taiyo] And what's iron tapioca, Mutsumi?
Thank you very much!
You can pay with cash, by credit card
or in blood or eyeballs.
[Taiyo] She understood the order!
But those payment methods are scary!
[Mutsumi] Handguns are "milk tea,"
and rifles are "coffee."
Mutsumi, I'm starting to get an inkling,
but is this place
Yes. At this mall, they sell supplies
for spies, con artists, assassins,
and members of the underworld.
Okay, let's move on to our next stop.
[Kane] For that memory ball
from the '00s,
this alloy catalyst for analysis
should do the trick.
Thanks, Kane.
Come on, let's go, Shinzo.
H-Hold up!
KANEKICHI
WEAPONS SHOP
[Kane] That one comes
in this year's new color.
-[Shion] What is this, apparel?
-Can't make up my mind.
The choice is clear.
Whenever you waver, you pick the product
in your right hand 85% of the time.
But 97% of the time,
you regret that choice
within two days of getting home.
So, there's a 99% chance
that the left one will be the right pick.
-[Kane] Thanks for your business!
-Shion, you're amazing!
Know yourself, my dimwit big bro.
CHIYOMOMIN
[joints cracking]
[Chiyo] You're as stiff as ever, Futaba.
How many did you take out this month?
[Futaba] About 300?
Don't give me that.
You're stiff enough to have hurled 500!
CHIYO
EX-BODYGUARD, 97
Whatever you do, your body is your asset.
Young or not, don't ever overdo it.
[Futaba] Ah, feels so good
[masseuse] Is she bending a steel pipe
or something next door?
DRUGSTORE
TRIP
[Nanao sighs]
TRIP
A DRUGSTORE THAT HAS IT ALL
Isn't this cyanide too concentrated?
[shop assistant] Well, these days,
a lot of people have high tolerance.
This is a facial pack that soothes
skin and muscles made rough by disguises.
[Kengo, in high pitched voice]
I can feel it working!
[shopkeeper] Welcome, Mr. Yozakura.
I've obtained the product you wanted.
[chuckling]
MI-CHAN'S BOOKSHELF
HORRIFYING BOOKS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD
[shopkeeper] Including
the removal of blood
and bulletproofing of this shirt,
that will be 4,980 yen.
Th-Thank you very much.
HAKUINSHA
CATCHPHRASE IS "WILL CLEAN ANYTHING"
PICKED IT UP.
HEADING BACK
MUTSUMI
THANKS!
[chuckles contentedly] Oh.
Uh?
[crying]
Daddy.
[Taiyo] Mutsumi?
[girl crying]
Your love child?
[Taiyo] Are you kidding me?
Seems like this girl
got separated from her dad.
[Mutsumi] Oh, I see.
What's your name?
S-Suzu.
So, Suzu, do you remember where it was
that you got separated from your father?
The scary people took my daddy away.
-What?
-Where did they take your father?
[Suzu] Th-They said,
"Let's talk downstairs."
[Suzu continues crying]
[Mutsumi] This mall has
an unmarked basement floor,
where you'll find a black market
that sells products
that are too edgy for upstairs.
[unsettling music playing]
Gaon basement floor one
[Mutsumi] Gaon Castle.
[Taiyo] So seedy!
Make sure you stay alert, okay?
If you let your guard down,
you'll end up as a product.
[Taiyo] You mean dismembered?
Miss, I'm scared.
Don't worry.
[Mutsumi] These people are well aware
of the risks of targeting me.
[Suzu's dad] Please, spare me!
-Daddy!
-[Taiyo] This way!
[Suzu's dad] Please don't do this.
I quit being a mule!
[bald man scoffs] Losing your nerve
just because you have a kid now
You can pay the penalty
with your lungs and eyes.
[Suzu's dad] N-No.
Back off!
-[gunshot fires]
-[bald man grunts]
[Suzu] Daddy!
Suzu!
[Suzu cries]
-Come on, let's get out of here now.
-Right.
[man 2] Taiyo Asano!
[man 3] The Yozakura head is one thing,
but you're a great prize yourself!
How about a blood-loss special
for $500,000?
[Taiyo] Who, me?
[criminals] First come, first served!
[Taiyo screams]
[criminals grunt]
-Uh
-You're done shopping, right?
We're heading home, you two.
[man 3] K-Kyoichiro Yozakura.
Big Bro!
Big Bro Kyoichiro
Huh?
COMPLETE COLLECTION OF TORTURE
[Taiyo] It's because
he wants to try that on me
-[Mutsumi] that he saved you, huh?
-[Kyoichiro chuckles]
Damn it, we can't possibly
beat the eldest son.
Idiot! Stand your ground.
They may be Yozakuras,
but the numbers are on our side.
Whoa!
[grunts]
[Nanao grunts]
[bald man] What, they're all here?
Y-You'll pay for this, you monsters!
I swear I'll get my reven
Huh? [screams]
[loud thud]
Doesn't today's 4D technology
blow your mind?
Even the screams are realistic!
The building is collapsing for real.
Them again, huh?
BREAKING NEWS - MYSTERIOUS SINKING
[reporter] This just in.
It appears the first floor of Gaon Mall
has sunk into the ground.
[pleasant music playing]
Isn't it great
that Suzu was reunited with her dad?
Yeah. But wasn't the damage
a bit excessive?
Seriously? You couldn't even handle
that on your own, you little
[grunts]
Hey! We forgot to buy gifts
for Ayaka and the others.
[all] We bought them.
Let's come again, okay, Taiyo?
Sure.
[ending theme music playing]
NEXT TIME
TANPOPO