Nip/Tuck s01e12 Episode Script
Antonia Ramos
Previously on Nip / Tuck: Silvio stole that money! Yeah, that's right, asshole.
I'm pregnant.
Great.
Good God.
Every time I see what women do to themselves with these tit jobs it makes me ashamed of what I do for a living.
These tit jobs are 70°% of our business, Liz.
Think about that the next time you slip your grossly overpaid ass into your courtside seats at the WNBA.
So, was Julia completely insane when she was pregnant? No more than usual.
Why? Gina just seems particularly out of her mind lately.
Apparently, so are you.
I can't believe you're sticking with this.
She's keeping the child, Sean.
What was I supposed to do? This poor woman.
Those guys are butchers down there.
I don't even think Bobolit puts in doubles anymore.
There.
You all right? Okay, last one.
Got it.
Does this look like saline to you? The color's off.
So is the consistency.
What the hell are they putting in these things there? Heroin.
That tit you're holding is worth $250,000.
What do you want? What's mine.
Pepe, fetch the tits.
Now finish sewing her up.
I'll wait in Dr.
McNamara's office.
I can't stand the sight of blood.
Where's the dyke? Still throwing up her McGriddle.
- And how's my Maria doing? - Resting comfortably in recovery.
When will she be ready to travel? I have to get her back to Colombia to get implanted again.
You can't put her through that.
Her muscle tissue was terribly damaged by the last surgery.
She could lose all feeling in her breasts if you try again.
Small price to pay for the chance at the American dream.
That girI begged to be my mule, just to get into this country.
Who are we to judge her if she wants something better something you two take for granted every day? I've heard enough of this bullshit.
She's not going anywhere.
I'm calling the cops.
You do that, Dr.
Troy.
I had some things I wanted to discuss with them about a former patient of yours.
You guys remember Silvio Perez, right? I'm sure you remember where you dumped his body.
Now let's talk shop.
Your business and mine are a lot alike.
We help people deaI with the hate they feeI about themselves.
You do it by carving up their faces.
I do it by dulling their senses.
A nose job, an eight ball What's the difference? Now, what keeps us in business are two things.
One: People are always going to hate themselves.
Two: We do our jobs with the utmost precision.
No scars, no loose ends, and no missing $300,000.
I want my money back.
What money? The money Silvio Perez stole from me to pay for his new face.
Now, I'll give you a week to pay me back because you guys did such a nice job on Maria.
We don't have access to that kind of cash.
We spent it - on business improvements.
- Not my problem.
We're not liquid right now.
Sorry.
That's a pretty wife, Dr.
McNamara.
I could get it up for her.
She work out? Remember your guiding principles, ladies: Form precision breathing.
Find your core and then just let your muscles obey your will.
And lift and switch.
Julia.
- Color me shocked.
- Shoulders pulled down your back.
Never in a million years would I imagine you'd give up Jude - for us mere mortals.
- Long necks.
- How's your core these days? - Long lines.
Overextended.
How's your divorce? Going around, from what I hear.
Annie told Tory that Mommy and Daddy aren't talking.
- Let's do some roll-ups.
- My sympathies, Julia.
Raise up your arms and roll up, with your head and shoulders following.
Deepen the curve and exhale rolling down.
Shoulders down your back.
Julia McNamara, right? Sophia Lopez.
Oh, my manners! I'm sorry.
I am a patient of your husband's.
You're just as pretty as in your picture.
Right.
Of course.
Yeah.
Sophia, he's told me all about you.
And he's told me all about you, too.
Especially, Julia, about how yoga Pilates really works for you.
Dr.
McNamara thought it would work for me, too.
Maybe lengthen my muscles.
Make them look feminine and lean like yours.
Pull the belly off the floor.
Bellybutton to spine.
Goodness, I feeI like Gumby.
Inhale as you extend.
Exhale down.
Sit back on your heels to child's pose.
Extend your back and breathe.
- Good.
- Maybe after we're done I could treat you to a smoothie.
Sophia, I'd love to but I have to pick my daughter up after school and then I have a class, so Excellent.
Roll up to sitting and namaste.
Thank you, class.
Great work today.
Do you have to eat that on my bed? Those are $1,100 sheets.
I have to eat, asshole.
Fat makes the baby's brain grow.
This bed has sharp corners.
Not good.
We're gonna have to babyproof this before junior shows up.
Too bad you didn't babyproof it before.
Here.
I earmarked the stuff we need.
$4,000 for a pram? It's a Burberry.
They're all the rage.
Here.
This one's half the price.
Yeah, screw you and your $1,100 sheets, asshole! - You have the money.
- No, I don't! Jesus! What's up your ass? Hard day at work.
I'm just a little tense.
Really? Well, I could think of a couple of interesting ways to relax.
What's the matter? Not turned on by pregnant women? No, just not turned on by you.
- Sorry.
- Me, too.
I'm repulsive.
No more so than usual, sweetheart.
Spare me, Christian.
I know how pathetic I am, coming on to you.
You know, it's these damn hormones.
What is this? You still smoking? How else am I supposed to deaI with my cravings? The withdrawaI is hard on the baby.
I can only eat so much.
What, would you rather I suck on these or some random guy? Do you have any idea the damage that cigarettes have on a fetus? Try acupuncture.
That would take care of my addiction, not my oraI fixation.
Then I will buy you a bag of goddamn lollipops! - No more of these.
- Fine.
But I get the Burberry pram.
- Did you sell a shirt? - The Boatox.
$140,000 for my speedboat.
Can you believe it? It's worth at least $75,000 more.
We're lucky that Bobolit had this kind of cash around.
- Is that all you got? - No, I hocked my Rolex for $20,000.
How much did you get? I emptied our family emergency fund and my personaI account called in a few outstanding bills.
And? I'm at $25,000 right now.
- What? - I'm sorry, Christian.
I have a wife and kids.
I don't have the disposable income you do.
I could cash in some bonds, but I'm gonna take a bath on them.
Then get wet, Sean! I sold my baby.
You need to come up with some money.
I know that.
Any ideas? I guess you're gonna have to take on a few less desirable clients.
Tell me what you don't like about yourself.
I'll need the money for your surgery up-front and in cash.
Here you go.
Sure you're not hungry, guys? My girlfriend, she loves the hot shit restaurants in town but I prefer it here.
Nothing beats a fruity tooty.
He's your personaI taster? With power comes envy.
With envy comes assassination.
Maybe if you laid off the cocaine, you wouldn't be so paranoid.
You need to watch your mouth.
I don't tolerate rudeness during the dinner hour.
You got the money? It's a little short.
$20,000 at most.
That's not what we discussed, gentlemen.
We'll get the rest.
Don't worry about it.
- I've got another girI coming in.
- Another girl? Si.
You know, otro burro.
But getting in isn't easy.
Not for them, and not for my shit.
Especially after 9/11.
So we make a deal.
I get them a work permit through the modeling agency I set up in Fort Lauderdale and in return, they carry something in for me.
Three trips for me and they're free to pursue the American dream.
And everybody wins.
Except for these poor girls who have their chests butchered.
My method beats and swimming across the Rio Grande.
We're not gonna operate on your slaves anymore.
We'll get you your money, and then we'll be done.
I tell you when you're done.
And know this: If you don't do what I've asked you politely to do I'll take this hand back to Colombia with me.
And then your family will learn what it means to be hungry.
This fabric is cheap.
It's nylon.
Babies piss and shit.
Then find it in basic black, because I am not wearing orange.
Bad news, folks.
Your Burberry pram's back-ordered for 16 weeks.
Oh, shit, goddamn it! Have you met the mother of my child? Isn't she lovely? It's a mommy thing.
I get it.
What are you about, what, six months? - I'm six months and four days.
- Any kicking yet? Awesome! I just felt something.
It's probably just gas from the three burritos.
I have cravings, and he doesn't understand.
Tell you what.
I'm gonna sneak you to the top of the list.
- One of my ladies isn't due for six months.
- Really? God, that would be so fantastic.
No problem.
Excuse me.
- Brad? I want to see that crib over there.
- Okay, I'll show you.
Hello.
The flight arrives at 7:00.
Be at your office by 8:00.
Leave the door unlocked.
This is my address, and you just have everything sent to here.
- Great.
I'll go get the color swatches.
- Okay.
Thank you.
You gave a clerk your address, but you won't give it to me? Grow up, Gina.
We're having a baby.
Together.
I have a right to know where you live.
Wrong.
You have no rights untiI you earn them.
And give the guy your credit card.
I'm going next door to Baskin-Robbins.
Okay, that'll be $4,250 plus tax.
Say, Brad, can I take a look at that order form? She wants to give you her cell phone number.
- Okay.
Great.
It's right there.
- Thanks.
Just put your Jane Hancock on the "X," Julia.
- What's the petition for? - To ban the trannie from our Pilates class.
Don't you think that's a little harsh? Pilates is a sacred gift we moms give ourselves.
You know, I don't want the pressure of having to wear makeup or shave my legs for some man in our midst.
Sophia is a woman, and Sean has assured me that she's into men.
I get The Learning Channel.
I know how they do the operation.
All they do is slice the penis in half like at a weenie roast and then shove it all inside.
- Suzanne! - No, let me finish, Julia.
The bottom line is if you've got a dick, find a coed gym.
Sorry, Suzanne.
I'm not signing it.
It's cruel.
It's inhumane.
Okay, Julia.
Have it your way.
I mean, the truth is, sweetie, all the other moms in class have signed.
That means I present the petition to the teacher and Sophia Lopez is off to crunch.
Suzanne, wait.
Don't turn in the petition.
Let me talk to her.
Maybe I can save her the embarrassment.
Gently suggest that perhaps this class isn't a good fit.
Julia, you are so brave.
This is insane! They just call and expect us to jump? Forget it.
Stall untiI we think up a way to get out of this.
Drug lords don't have voice mail, Sean.
And this is our way out of this.
One more operation, and we walk away.
He won't call the police.
He's bluffing.
We bluff right back.
The last time I called his bluff, I got a shot of BOTOX in my dick! Trust me, this guy's dangerous.
We're stuck, and we're doing this.
I said I wanted a Burberry.
It's an additionaI present.
Why didn't you tell me you live on a houseboat? Jesus, you make me crazy over babyproofing bed corners and you live on a goddamn floating deathtrap.
Nobody invited you.
There are rats the size of toddlers down here at the docks.
There's water everywhere.
He could fall off and drown.
Or she.
- Are you stupid? - I told you I couldn't do this alone.
You can't do it at all.
Take your shitty stroller and take your judgments and get the hell off my property, asshole.
At least move to a trailer park.
There's lot of drunk, hard up men who'll sleep with anything.
You'd like it there.
Dinner will be ready in 20 minutes.
Where you going? - Late surgery.
- Who has surgery at this hour? - Busy patient.
- Well, thanks for the notice, Sean.
If I knew you wouldn't be here, I wouldn't have made all this food.
If I don't go to work, there won't be any food to put on the table! Screw it! We're going to McDonald's.
Mom, I know what you're thinking that Dad's You know.
He told me about the affair.
He'll never do it again.
That's not what's going on.
Your father should never have told you that.
At least he didn't lie to me, Mom.
Stop protecting him, Matt, and me! It is so damn inappropriate! We're your parents, not your pals.
A concept some people in this house have lost totaI track of.
Do you know what's going on with him lately? Nope.
Which is apparently just great, because according to you what happens in this family is none of my business.
Hey, guys.
What's up? Celebrity surgery.
You know how private these aging pop singers are.
Liz, you need to leave.
Why, Christian? So you can remove more implants filled with heroin without a proper anesthesiologist? That's not what we're doing.
Cut the bullshit, Sean.
I know what's going on.
I can see the fear in your eyes.
Liz, this is dangerous.
Don't do this for us.
I'm not doing it for you, Christian.
I'm doing it for the girls that monster is using as his mules.
I can't give them back their dignity, but I can damn well lessen their physicaI pain.
I'm staying.
Change of plans.
We've got a big problem.
Get your stuff.
Old school.
Guys, don't you miss the '80s, man? Yo, what's up? How you doing, man? Let me give you a tour.
Her fever's easily over 102.
How long has she been like this? She told Pepe she was puking on the plane.
If the implant broke, you're gonna have to scrape out whatever leaked.
I'm not leaving any of my shit in this puta's tits.
What's her name? Antonia Ramos.
Antonia? Ms.
Ramos? You speak English? Si.
Yes.
My name is Dr.
Troy.
Would you mind if I take a look? No.
These aren't symptoms of a heroin overdose but of sepsis.
She's got an acute bacteriaI infection undoubtedly from filthy instruments used by your South American butchers.
That's good, right? No.
If it spreads to her heart or lungs, she could die.
- Can you put her out? - I'll run an IV, give her Versed.
- She won't remember.
- Let's move her.
All right, on three.
Antonia, we're gonna move you, all right? Two, three, go.
It's okay.
We're gonna give you a shot, Antonia, and you're gonna be all right.
It's okay, sweetie.
It won't even sting.
Okay, we're tight.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
Ready? Go.
- All right? - Yeah.
Last one.
Okay, get them.
That stuff's filthy.
I could get her infection.
Take it, man.
Do it, now.
Take it.
- Wait.
Where are you going? - Don't worry, the room's paid for.
This woman is ill and needs to be given IV antibiotics immediately or she could die.
You're responsible for her.
Not anymore.
You guys can keep the girl, man.
Like, you know, consider her a tip.
I know why you asked me here, Julia.
Okay.
And how do you feeI about that? I feeI you should give Dr.
McNamara another chance.
When I first met you, Julia I could sense you needed a girlfriend to talk to, just like I do sometimes.
Sophia, how do you know about my problems with Sean? Because I'm friends with Liz.
Dr.
McNamara loves you, Julia.
The way he talks about you so admiringly.
He thinks you hung the moon.
I'm sorry.
It's okay, sweetie.
Let it out.
No.
It's just that I'm so angry with him.
I know.
It must feel like unbearable pain, Julia.
I recognize that.
But he's a man the most flawed of species.
But, Julia look at all of Dr.
McNamara's positive attributes.
Actually, Sophia I think he's the one that wants to leave.
He's been almost unrecognizable lately.
Marriage is hard, Julia.
I know.
I've been there, and I failed.
When I was a man.
Right.
Is there a problem? Don't worry, Julia.
If I let those people bother me, I'd have slit my wrists years ago.
Well, actually, Sophia as well as talking about my marriage I also came here because of the women in our Pilates class.
They're Curious about me.
They don't want you in the class, Sophia.
But I do.
You're responding well to the Augmentin.
The infection looks like it's subsiding, Ms.
Ramos.
It's true what they say about the States.
Things are better here.
People are better here.
When will I be well enough to travel to Fort Lauderdale? I need to meet my agent.
I'm going to be a model, you know.
There is no modeling agency, sweetheart.
We took the information you gave us to check out the agency.
It's nothing but a post office box and an answering service.
You were lied to.
About everything.
I don't understand.
There is no work permit waiting for you here, Antonia.
You're gonna have to leave once your tourist visa expires.
Leave? But my family is counting on me.
I can't go back.
They need money.
Please, isn't there something you can do? We can help you heal, Antonia, but we can't change the laws.
Hi, Suzanne.
You remember Sophia.
Hello, Suzanne.
Don't you just love this class? It's so harmonious.
Julia, may I have a word with you outside? That's all right, Suzanne.
Anything you want to say to me, you can say in front of my friend.
Is there a problem, Suzanne? No, Sophia.
No problem at all.
Can we begin? I'm sorry.
I can't teach a class with only two people in it.
I've got a 3-person minimum.
Sorry.
Yeah, this is good stuff.
Pricey, but worth it.
You live in a high-rise building with a balcony, got rug rats this stuff is a necessity.
What about if you live on a houseboat? You could block a deck off with it, too.
Actually, I recommend doing that.
She likes to keep the portholes open.
Who? Gina? How would you know? I delivered some stuff to her yesterday on the good ship Lollipop.
You're one lucky dude.
Some women just take to pregnancy.
Like I told you, Brad, pregnant women are not my thing.
I've done way too many post-delivery tummy tucks.
You're missing the boat, Doc.
Pun intended.
Pregnancy does wonders for a woman's sex drive.
They're insatiable.
You want to know the best time? - Why is that, Brad? - Two reasons.
First, you get to come inside them, and chemicals in the semen help dilate the cervix and bring on labor.
They're desperate for it.
Second, they start expelling breast milk.
You ever taste the nectar of the gods? Sweet! Why don't we just order 50 yards of fencing, and call it a day? Okay, buddy, but take my word for it.
You liked Gina before she conceived, you're gonna love her now.
She's a tigress.
Did you screw her? Well, yeah.
She told me about you guys' situation.
I thought we were cool.
You're bragging to me about banging the mother of my unborn child and you think I'm cooI with that? What kind of sick fetish freak are you? She told me you weren't together.
What's the difference? That's my child you're poking at! I didn't mean to.
I swear.
She was just so lonely and beautiful.
You can't see it, but I can! CanceI my order! Stay away from my kid! Can we talk? Sure.
I'm sorry for yelling at you yesterday.
Your dad and I are going through a rough patch.
I'm sure it won't- No, Mom I think you're right about Dad.
Something is going on.
Why do you say that? Because he wrote me a check to buy some schooI stuff and they wouldn't cash it.
The bookstore said it was overdrawn.
Annie, honey, come over here, please.
Go ahead, sweetie.
Go to your mommy.
- Who the hell are you? - Get out of our house.
No need for alarm, guys.
I'm a business associate of Sean's.
I was in the neighborhood, and I- Get out of my house, or I'm calling the police.
Lovely house.
That's delicious.
What is that? That's organic? Tell Sean that I stopped by and I met his beautifuI family.
Bye, pumpkin.
How many? If you want me to quit, prescribe some Wellbutrin.
Not cigarettes, you dumb slut.
How many dicks have you had since you became pregnant with my baby? Just because I have your asshole DNA inside me, doesn't mean you own me.
When are you gonna realize this isn't about me and you? You're carrying a baby.
There's more than one life depending on the well-being of your body.
You can't just let some sicko stick his dick inside you right now.
Are you questioning my love for this baby? Along with the love you apparently don't have for yourself, yes.
Jesus.
Why are you crying? I'm crying because I'm 35 years old, I'm pregnant, and I'm alone! And I just slept with some pervert who wanted to lick my stomach while I went down on him.
I can't believe you had sex with that guy.
It wasn't about sex, Christian.
It was about It was about reassurance.
For just half an hour I felt like I wasn't alone in this.
I love this baby so much.
And I know this is probably my last chance to feeI whole to have a purpose, but I cannot do it.
I'm not equipped.
I can't take care of a baby.
What was I thinking? You can do this, Gina.
You just can't do it alone.
Pack your things.
Sean, just give me a second here, man.
If you even look at my family again, I'll kill you! You understand? - I will kill you.
- Puto.
Let me cap him, boss.
No.
We can't shoot him.
He's the talented one.
Get up.
Sit him down.
That was brave, coming into my house, roughing up my shit.
You're not the pussy I thought you were.
- Escobar.
- What? We done? Did I finish? Where were we? Why did you threaten my family? I have done everything you asked me to do.
Yeah, this is true, Sean.
But I'm going to be asking you to do more.
And frankly, I need to get the resistance thing out of the way.
And now that you know that I know where you live there won't be any resistance, will there? You continue to work on my clients, and I'll let your family live in peace.
I want you to watch something.
Turn around, mami.
Now you watch this, okay, and you realize that if I wanted it this could be your wife.
What are you doing? What does it look like I'm doing? I don't want you sleeping on the couch.
How about the balcony? At least I can smoke in peace out there.
You can sleep with me.
You're an expectant mother.
You need the back support.
But no monkey business.
- Better not snore, asshole.
- Right back at you.
What? I just felt the baby.
It's kicking.
Really? What's it feeI like? We've got a heavyweight champion in there.
- He's a feisty little guy, isn't he? - Or a girl.
It's Russo.
What? My last name.
It's Russo.
Our 2:00 is here.
Miss Gutierrez, tell us what you don't like about yourself.
My breasts.
I'm pregnant.
Great.
Good God.
Every time I see what women do to themselves with these tit jobs it makes me ashamed of what I do for a living.
These tit jobs are 70°% of our business, Liz.
Think about that the next time you slip your grossly overpaid ass into your courtside seats at the WNBA.
So, was Julia completely insane when she was pregnant? No more than usual.
Why? Gina just seems particularly out of her mind lately.
Apparently, so are you.
I can't believe you're sticking with this.
She's keeping the child, Sean.
What was I supposed to do? This poor woman.
Those guys are butchers down there.
I don't even think Bobolit puts in doubles anymore.
There.
You all right? Okay, last one.
Got it.
Does this look like saline to you? The color's off.
So is the consistency.
What the hell are they putting in these things there? Heroin.
That tit you're holding is worth $250,000.
What do you want? What's mine.
Pepe, fetch the tits.
Now finish sewing her up.
I'll wait in Dr.
McNamara's office.
I can't stand the sight of blood.
Where's the dyke? Still throwing up her McGriddle.
- And how's my Maria doing? - Resting comfortably in recovery.
When will she be ready to travel? I have to get her back to Colombia to get implanted again.
You can't put her through that.
Her muscle tissue was terribly damaged by the last surgery.
She could lose all feeling in her breasts if you try again.
Small price to pay for the chance at the American dream.
That girI begged to be my mule, just to get into this country.
Who are we to judge her if she wants something better something you two take for granted every day? I've heard enough of this bullshit.
She's not going anywhere.
I'm calling the cops.
You do that, Dr.
Troy.
I had some things I wanted to discuss with them about a former patient of yours.
You guys remember Silvio Perez, right? I'm sure you remember where you dumped his body.
Now let's talk shop.
Your business and mine are a lot alike.
We help people deaI with the hate they feeI about themselves.
You do it by carving up their faces.
I do it by dulling their senses.
A nose job, an eight ball What's the difference? Now, what keeps us in business are two things.
One: People are always going to hate themselves.
Two: We do our jobs with the utmost precision.
No scars, no loose ends, and no missing $300,000.
I want my money back.
What money? The money Silvio Perez stole from me to pay for his new face.
Now, I'll give you a week to pay me back because you guys did such a nice job on Maria.
We don't have access to that kind of cash.
We spent it - on business improvements.
- Not my problem.
We're not liquid right now.
Sorry.
That's a pretty wife, Dr.
McNamara.
I could get it up for her.
She work out? Remember your guiding principles, ladies: Form precision breathing.
Find your core and then just let your muscles obey your will.
And lift and switch.
Julia.
- Color me shocked.
- Shoulders pulled down your back.
Never in a million years would I imagine you'd give up Jude - for us mere mortals.
- Long necks.
- How's your core these days? - Long lines.
Overextended.
How's your divorce? Going around, from what I hear.
Annie told Tory that Mommy and Daddy aren't talking.
- Let's do some roll-ups.
- My sympathies, Julia.
Raise up your arms and roll up, with your head and shoulders following.
Deepen the curve and exhale rolling down.
Shoulders down your back.
Julia McNamara, right? Sophia Lopez.
Oh, my manners! I'm sorry.
I am a patient of your husband's.
You're just as pretty as in your picture.
Right.
Of course.
Yeah.
Sophia, he's told me all about you.
And he's told me all about you, too.
Especially, Julia, about how yoga Pilates really works for you.
Dr.
McNamara thought it would work for me, too.
Maybe lengthen my muscles.
Make them look feminine and lean like yours.
Pull the belly off the floor.
Bellybutton to spine.
Goodness, I feeI like Gumby.
Inhale as you extend.
Exhale down.
Sit back on your heels to child's pose.
Extend your back and breathe.
- Good.
- Maybe after we're done I could treat you to a smoothie.
Sophia, I'd love to but I have to pick my daughter up after school and then I have a class, so Excellent.
Roll up to sitting and namaste.
Thank you, class.
Great work today.
Do you have to eat that on my bed? Those are $1,100 sheets.
I have to eat, asshole.
Fat makes the baby's brain grow.
This bed has sharp corners.
Not good.
We're gonna have to babyproof this before junior shows up.
Too bad you didn't babyproof it before.
Here.
I earmarked the stuff we need.
$4,000 for a pram? It's a Burberry.
They're all the rage.
Here.
This one's half the price.
Yeah, screw you and your $1,100 sheets, asshole! - You have the money.
- No, I don't! Jesus! What's up your ass? Hard day at work.
I'm just a little tense.
Really? Well, I could think of a couple of interesting ways to relax.
What's the matter? Not turned on by pregnant women? No, just not turned on by you.
- Sorry.
- Me, too.
I'm repulsive.
No more so than usual, sweetheart.
Spare me, Christian.
I know how pathetic I am, coming on to you.
You know, it's these damn hormones.
What is this? You still smoking? How else am I supposed to deaI with my cravings? The withdrawaI is hard on the baby.
I can only eat so much.
What, would you rather I suck on these or some random guy? Do you have any idea the damage that cigarettes have on a fetus? Try acupuncture.
That would take care of my addiction, not my oraI fixation.
Then I will buy you a bag of goddamn lollipops! - No more of these.
- Fine.
But I get the Burberry pram.
- Did you sell a shirt? - The Boatox.
$140,000 for my speedboat.
Can you believe it? It's worth at least $75,000 more.
We're lucky that Bobolit had this kind of cash around.
- Is that all you got? - No, I hocked my Rolex for $20,000.
How much did you get? I emptied our family emergency fund and my personaI account called in a few outstanding bills.
And? I'm at $25,000 right now.
- What? - I'm sorry, Christian.
I have a wife and kids.
I don't have the disposable income you do.
I could cash in some bonds, but I'm gonna take a bath on them.
Then get wet, Sean! I sold my baby.
You need to come up with some money.
I know that.
Any ideas? I guess you're gonna have to take on a few less desirable clients.
Tell me what you don't like about yourself.
I'll need the money for your surgery up-front and in cash.
Here you go.
Sure you're not hungry, guys? My girlfriend, she loves the hot shit restaurants in town but I prefer it here.
Nothing beats a fruity tooty.
He's your personaI taster? With power comes envy.
With envy comes assassination.
Maybe if you laid off the cocaine, you wouldn't be so paranoid.
You need to watch your mouth.
I don't tolerate rudeness during the dinner hour.
You got the money? It's a little short.
$20,000 at most.
That's not what we discussed, gentlemen.
We'll get the rest.
Don't worry about it.
- I've got another girI coming in.
- Another girl? Si.
You know, otro burro.
But getting in isn't easy.
Not for them, and not for my shit.
Especially after 9/11.
So we make a deal.
I get them a work permit through the modeling agency I set up in Fort Lauderdale and in return, they carry something in for me.
Three trips for me and they're free to pursue the American dream.
And everybody wins.
Except for these poor girls who have their chests butchered.
My method beats and swimming across the Rio Grande.
We're not gonna operate on your slaves anymore.
We'll get you your money, and then we'll be done.
I tell you when you're done.
And know this: If you don't do what I've asked you politely to do I'll take this hand back to Colombia with me.
And then your family will learn what it means to be hungry.
This fabric is cheap.
It's nylon.
Babies piss and shit.
Then find it in basic black, because I am not wearing orange.
Bad news, folks.
Your Burberry pram's back-ordered for 16 weeks.
Oh, shit, goddamn it! Have you met the mother of my child? Isn't she lovely? It's a mommy thing.
I get it.
What are you about, what, six months? - I'm six months and four days.
- Any kicking yet? Awesome! I just felt something.
It's probably just gas from the three burritos.
I have cravings, and he doesn't understand.
Tell you what.
I'm gonna sneak you to the top of the list.
- One of my ladies isn't due for six months.
- Really? God, that would be so fantastic.
No problem.
Excuse me.
- Brad? I want to see that crib over there.
- Okay, I'll show you.
Hello.
The flight arrives at 7:00.
Be at your office by 8:00.
Leave the door unlocked.
This is my address, and you just have everything sent to here.
- Great.
I'll go get the color swatches.
- Okay.
Thank you.
You gave a clerk your address, but you won't give it to me? Grow up, Gina.
We're having a baby.
Together.
I have a right to know where you live.
Wrong.
You have no rights untiI you earn them.
And give the guy your credit card.
I'm going next door to Baskin-Robbins.
Okay, that'll be $4,250 plus tax.
Say, Brad, can I take a look at that order form? She wants to give you her cell phone number.
- Okay.
Great.
It's right there.
- Thanks.
Just put your Jane Hancock on the "X," Julia.
- What's the petition for? - To ban the trannie from our Pilates class.
Don't you think that's a little harsh? Pilates is a sacred gift we moms give ourselves.
You know, I don't want the pressure of having to wear makeup or shave my legs for some man in our midst.
Sophia is a woman, and Sean has assured me that she's into men.
I get The Learning Channel.
I know how they do the operation.
All they do is slice the penis in half like at a weenie roast and then shove it all inside.
- Suzanne! - No, let me finish, Julia.
The bottom line is if you've got a dick, find a coed gym.
Sorry, Suzanne.
I'm not signing it.
It's cruel.
It's inhumane.
Okay, Julia.
Have it your way.
I mean, the truth is, sweetie, all the other moms in class have signed.
That means I present the petition to the teacher and Sophia Lopez is off to crunch.
Suzanne, wait.
Don't turn in the petition.
Let me talk to her.
Maybe I can save her the embarrassment.
Gently suggest that perhaps this class isn't a good fit.
Julia, you are so brave.
This is insane! They just call and expect us to jump? Forget it.
Stall untiI we think up a way to get out of this.
Drug lords don't have voice mail, Sean.
And this is our way out of this.
One more operation, and we walk away.
He won't call the police.
He's bluffing.
We bluff right back.
The last time I called his bluff, I got a shot of BOTOX in my dick! Trust me, this guy's dangerous.
We're stuck, and we're doing this.
I said I wanted a Burberry.
It's an additionaI present.
Why didn't you tell me you live on a houseboat? Jesus, you make me crazy over babyproofing bed corners and you live on a goddamn floating deathtrap.
Nobody invited you.
There are rats the size of toddlers down here at the docks.
There's water everywhere.
He could fall off and drown.
Or she.
- Are you stupid? - I told you I couldn't do this alone.
You can't do it at all.
Take your shitty stroller and take your judgments and get the hell off my property, asshole.
At least move to a trailer park.
There's lot of drunk, hard up men who'll sleep with anything.
You'd like it there.
Dinner will be ready in 20 minutes.
Where you going? - Late surgery.
- Who has surgery at this hour? - Busy patient.
- Well, thanks for the notice, Sean.
If I knew you wouldn't be here, I wouldn't have made all this food.
If I don't go to work, there won't be any food to put on the table! Screw it! We're going to McDonald's.
Mom, I know what you're thinking that Dad's You know.
He told me about the affair.
He'll never do it again.
That's not what's going on.
Your father should never have told you that.
At least he didn't lie to me, Mom.
Stop protecting him, Matt, and me! It is so damn inappropriate! We're your parents, not your pals.
A concept some people in this house have lost totaI track of.
Do you know what's going on with him lately? Nope.
Which is apparently just great, because according to you what happens in this family is none of my business.
Hey, guys.
What's up? Celebrity surgery.
You know how private these aging pop singers are.
Liz, you need to leave.
Why, Christian? So you can remove more implants filled with heroin without a proper anesthesiologist? That's not what we're doing.
Cut the bullshit, Sean.
I know what's going on.
I can see the fear in your eyes.
Liz, this is dangerous.
Don't do this for us.
I'm not doing it for you, Christian.
I'm doing it for the girls that monster is using as his mules.
I can't give them back their dignity, but I can damn well lessen their physicaI pain.
I'm staying.
Change of plans.
We've got a big problem.
Get your stuff.
Old school.
Guys, don't you miss the '80s, man? Yo, what's up? How you doing, man? Let me give you a tour.
Her fever's easily over 102.
How long has she been like this? She told Pepe she was puking on the plane.
If the implant broke, you're gonna have to scrape out whatever leaked.
I'm not leaving any of my shit in this puta's tits.
What's her name? Antonia Ramos.
Antonia? Ms.
Ramos? You speak English? Si.
Yes.
My name is Dr.
Troy.
Would you mind if I take a look? No.
These aren't symptoms of a heroin overdose but of sepsis.
She's got an acute bacteriaI infection undoubtedly from filthy instruments used by your South American butchers.
That's good, right? No.
If it spreads to her heart or lungs, she could die.
- Can you put her out? - I'll run an IV, give her Versed.
- She won't remember.
- Let's move her.
All right, on three.
Antonia, we're gonna move you, all right? Two, three, go.
It's okay.
We're gonna give you a shot, Antonia, and you're gonna be all right.
It's okay, sweetie.
It won't even sting.
Okay, we're tight.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
Ready? Go.
- All right? - Yeah.
Last one.
Okay, get them.
That stuff's filthy.
I could get her infection.
Take it, man.
Do it, now.
Take it.
- Wait.
Where are you going? - Don't worry, the room's paid for.
This woman is ill and needs to be given IV antibiotics immediately or she could die.
You're responsible for her.
Not anymore.
You guys can keep the girl, man.
Like, you know, consider her a tip.
I know why you asked me here, Julia.
Okay.
And how do you feeI about that? I feeI you should give Dr.
McNamara another chance.
When I first met you, Julia I could sense you needed a girlfriend to talk to, just like I do sometimes.
Sophia, how do you know about my problems with Sean? Because I'm friends with Liz.
Dr.
McNamara loves you, Julia.
The way he talks about you so admiringly.
He thinks you hung the moon.
I'm sorry.
It's okay, sweetie.
Let it out.
No.
It's just that I'm so angry with him.
I know.
It must feel like unbearable pain, Julia.
I recognize that.
But he's a man the most flawed of species.
But, Julia look at all of Dr.
McNamara's positive attributes.
Actually, Sophia I think he's the one that wants to leave.
He's been almost unrecognizable lately.
Marriage is hard, Julia.
I know.
I've been there, and I failed.
When I was a man.
Right.
Is there a problem? Don't worry, Julia.
If I let those people bother me, I'd have slit my wrists years ago.
Well, actually, Sophia as well as talking about my marriage I also came here because of the women in our Pilates class.
They're Curious about me.
They don't want you in the class, Sophia.
But I do.
You're responding well to the Augmentin.
The infection looks like it's subsiding, Ms.
Ramos.
It's true what they say about the States.
Things are better here.
People are better here.
When will I be well enough to travel to Fort Lauderdale? I need to meet my agent.
I'm going to be a model, you know.
There is no modeling agency, sweetheart.
We took the information you gave us to check out the agency.
It's nothing but a post office box and an answering service.
You were lied to.
About everything.
I don't understand.
There is no work permit waiting for you here, Antonia.
You're gonna have to leave once your tourist visa expires.
Leave? But my family is counting on me.
I can't go back.
They need money.
Please, isn't there something you can do? We can help you heal, Antonia, but we can't change the laws.
Hi, Suzanne.
You remember Sophia.
Hello, Suzanne.
Don't you just love this class? It's so harmonious.
Julia, may I have a word with you outside? That's all right, Suzanne.
Anything you want to say to me, you can say in front of my friend.
Is there a problem, Suzanne? No, Sophia.
No problem at all.
Can we begin? I'm sorry.
I can't teach a class with only two people in it.
I've got a 3-person minimum.
Sorry.
Yeah, this is good stuff.
Pricey, but worth it.
You live in a high-rise building with a balcony, got rug rats this stuff is a necessity.
What about if you live on a houseboat? You could block a deck off with it, too.
Actually, I recommend doing that.
She likes to keep the portholes open.
Who? Gina? How would you know? I delivered some stuff to her yesterday on the good ship Lollipop.
You're one lucky dude.
Some women just take to pregnancy.
Like I told you, Brad, pregnant women are not my thing.
I've done way too many post-delivery tummy tucks.
You're missing the boat, Doc.
Pun intended.
Pregnancy does wonders for a woman's sex drive.
They're insatiable.
You want to know the best time? - Why is that, Brad? - Two reasons.
First, you get to come inside them, and chemicals in the semen help dilate the cervix and bring on labor.
They're desperate for it.
Second, they start expelling breast milk.
You ever taste the nectar of the gods? Sweet! Why don't we just order 50 yards of fencing, and call it a day? Okay, buddy, but take my word for it.
You liked Gina before she conceived, you're gonna love her now.
She's a tigress.
Did you screw her? Well, yeah.
She told me about you guys' situation.
I thought we were cool.
You're bragging to me about banging the mother of my unborn child and you think I'm cooI with that? What kind of sick fetish freak are you? She told me you weren't together.
What's the difference? That's my child you're poking at! I didn't mean to.
I swear.
She was just so lonely and beautiful.
You can't see it, but I can! CanceI my order! Stay away from my kid! Can we talk? Sure.
I'm sorry for yelling at you yesterday.
Your dad and I are going through a rough patch.
I'm sure it won't- No, Mom I think you're right about Dad.
Something is going on.
Why do you say that? Because he wrote me a check to buy some schooI stuff and they wouldn't cash it.
The bookstore said it was overdrawn.
Annie, honey, come over here, please.
Go ahead, sweetie.
Go to your mommy.
- Who the hell are you? - Get out of our house.
No need for alarm, guys.
I'm a business associate of Sean's.
I was in the neighborhood, and I- Get out of my house, or I'm calling the police.
Lovely house.
That's delicious.
What is that? That's organic? Tell Sean that I stopped by and I met his beautifuI family.
Bye, pumpkin.
How many? If you want me to quit, prescribe some Wellbutrin.
Not cigarettes, you dumb slut.
How many dicks have you had since you became pregnant with my baby? Just because I have your asshole DNA inside me, doesn't mean you own me.
When are you gonna realize this isn't about me and you? You're carrying a baby.
There's more than one life depending on the well-being of your body.
You can't just let some sicko stick his dick inside you right now.
Are you questioning my love for this baby? Along with the love you apparently don't have for yourself, yes.
Jesus.
Why are you crying? I'm crying because I'm 35 years old, I'm pregnant, and I'm alone! And I just slept with some pervert who wanted to lick my stomach while I went down on him.
I can't believe you had sex with that guy.
It wasn't about sex, Christian.
It was about It was about reassurance.
For just half an hour I felt like I wasn't alone in this.
I love this baby so much.
And I know this is probably my last chance to feeI whole to have a purpose, but I cannot do it.
I'm not equipped.
I can't take care of a baby.
What was I thinking? You can do this, Gina.
You just can't do it alone.
Pack your things.
Sean, just give me a second here, man.
If you even look at my family again, I'll kill you! You understand? - I will kill you.
- Puto.
Let me cap him, boss.
No.
We can't shoot him.
He's the talented one.
Get up.
Sit him down.
That was brave, coming into my house, roughing up my shit.
You're not the pussy I thought you were.
- Escobar.
- What? We done? Did I finish? Where were we? Why did you threaten my family? I have done everything you asked me to do.
Yeah, this is true, Sean.
But I'm going to be asking you to do more.
And frankly, I need to get the resistance thing out of the way.
And now that you know that I know where you live there won't be any resistance, will there? You continue to work on my clients, and I'll let your family live in peace.
I want you to watch something.
Turn around, mami.
Now you watch this, okay, and you realize that if I wanted it this could be your wife.
What are you doing? What does it look like I'm doing? I don't want you sleeping on the couch.
How about the balcony? At least I can smoke in peace out there.
You can sleep with me.
You're an expectant mother.
You need the back support.
But no monkey business.
- Better not snore, asshole.
- Right back at you.
What? I just felt the baby.
It's kicking.
Really? What's it feeI like? We've got a heavyweight champion in there.
- He's a feisty little guy, isn't he? - Or a girl.
It's Russo.
What? My last name.
It's Russo.
Our 2:00 is here.
Miss Gutierrez, tell us what you don't like about yourself.
My breasts.