Privileged s01e12 Episode Script
All About the Ripple Effect
You Remember My Cousin Luis? He Wants To Be A Chef.
Hi.
I-I'm Luis.
He's New.
Well, I Like Megan A Lot.
She's My Best Friend.
You Worried About Her? Should I Be? My Dad Was A Drunk And Generally Unemployed Since My Mom Left.
I Could See How Much You've Changed.
And I Just Thought This Would, You Know, Be A Great Opportunity To Start Over.
Good.
Ok.
Because It's Not A Word.
No Proper Nouns.
Come On, I Gave You Weezie.
Oh, Well, Despite Your Obsession With The Jeffersons, Weezie Is Not A Name.
It's Like-Ooh, It's Allergy Season.
I'm Feeling Weezie.
What's Up Weezie? It's Me George.
Oh, God.
Get You Another Soda? Yes.
Please.
Oh, Uh, Dad.
Wh-Uh, It Says Shelby.
Um, Do You Know Any Other Shelbys Besides Mom? No.
It's Her.
Well, Should I-Here.
Shelby, Hi.
Yeah, I Did.
No, I Wasn't Planning On It.
No.
No, I Don't Think That'd Be A Good Idea.
Well, I Just Don't.
Uh-Huh.
Uh.
Um.
Yeah, Ok.
That's Fine.
Fine.
Bye.
I'm Sorry About That.
So, Um How Often Do You Talk To Her? 'Cause That Didn't Sound Like A First-Time-In-16-Years Kind Of Conversation.
Not Often.
Little More These Past Few Months.
Ever Since I Saw Her.
You Saw Her? After I Got Sober, It Was Part Of The Program.
I Needed To Make Amends.
And I Drove Up To Meet Her In Atlantic City.
That's Where She Lives Now.
We Had Coffee.
She Asked About You, Of Course.
That's It.
I Mean, It Was Nothing, Really.
So, Why Is She Calling You Now? Funny Thing Actually.
Not That Any Of This Is Funny.
But This Weekend Is Our 30th High School Reunion.
And Your Mom And I Were Kind Of A Big Deal In High School.
Yeah.
Prom King And Queen.
Heard The Stories.
Worked Out Great.
I Guess She Found Out About The Whole Thing And Thought It Sounded Fun.
She Just Got Into Town, And She's On Her Way Over.
Right Now?! Yeah.
10 Minutes Or So.
Look, You Heard Me Say It Wasn't A Good Idea.
But She Just Railroaded Me.
I Didn't Know What To Say.
Are You All Right? No.
No.
I-I'm Weezie.
What Are You Doing? I Read That The Final Slice Of A Garlic Clove Is The Most Delicate.
You Don't Want To Waste Any Of This.
You're A Sous Chef, Luis.
Not A Rabbi.
Just Cut The Garlic.
I Am Beyond Exhausted.
Marco, I Will Pay You To Make Me A Protein Shake.
Your Grandmother Already Has That Covered.
But I Do Accept Tips.
Sage, Protein Shake? I'll Pass.
I Am Hungry, Though.
Make Me A Snack, Would You Louie? Snack? I'm Supposed To Make A Snack For Snotty Spice? Unless You're Too Busy Checking Out Your Own Reflection In A Spoon.
Fine.
When I'm Finished With This, I'll Fix You Some Apple Slices With Peanut Butter And Turn On Barney.
Ohh.
Luis, The Lady Of The House Asked You To Make Her A Snack.
Make Her A Snack.
Malcriada.
Hello, I Speak Some Spanish.
I Watch Tele-Novellas.
He Is So Rude.
Marco, That Guy- Is A Divine Cook And A Festival For The Eyes, I Agree.
I've Lost My Appetite.
Wow, Sage Really Hates Luis, Huh? Yeah.
The Way I Hated Lenny Fleck In The 5th Grade So Much That I Threw A Rock At His Head Everyday.
Why Did You Throw A Rock At Him? Because He Was Beautiful And Knew All The Words To I Will Survive.
I Have No Idea What That Means.
The Way Those 2 Have Been Fighting For The Past 2 Weeks.
Come On Ohh.
Ohh! Wait, So You Think That Sage Actually Likes Luis.
Well, Of Course, That Makes So Much More Sense.
They Are So Cute Together, Too.
I Mean, She's All Peachy Creamy, And He's All Hot And Tanny.
And He Is Way Smart.
Ok.
Every Time She Says Something Mean, He Jumps Right Back With Something Even Meaner.
I Love This.
I Do.
I Cannot Wait For Them To Start Dating.
Well, I Hate To Burst Your Bubble, But The Chances Of Sage Dating Luis Are Zero.
Before You Go Out With Someone, You Have To First Admit You Like Them.
And That Girl Is So Meshugena She Doesn't Even Know She Likes Him.
That's Yiddish For Crazy.
Oh, Sage Isn't Yiddish.
She's Just Scared To Let Anyone In 'Cause She Doesn't Want To Get Hurt.
But If She Doesn't Know She Likes Luis, Then It's Up To Us To Help Her Figure It Out.
Wait A Minute.
What "Us"? Please.
Come On.
I - I've Never Done Anything Like This On My Own.
And Well, I Can't Ask Sage For Help On This One.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
As Long As It Doesn't Involve Me Wearing A Mustache Or Using A French Accent.
Well, Definitely Not Wearing A Mustache.
You Know, If You Want To Take Off, I'll Understand.
I Can Deal With It.
You Shouldn't Have To Take This On.
I'm Not Going To Leave You Here Ane With Her.
I Mean, You've Been Doing So Well.
Ou've Been Doing So Well.
And I Know How She Messes With Your Head.
No.
We Will Be A United Front.
All Right.
Thanks, Sweetheart.
Shelby: Artie?! Hey.
Oh! Oh, Thank God You're Home.
I've Been Stuck In That Car For An Eternity.
Oh Is That Megan And I Were Just Finishing Lunch When You Called.
Why Didn't You Tell Me That She Was Here? You Didn't Really Give Me A Chance.
No.
Well You Look Fantastic.
I Don't Think I Would Have Recognized You.
Probably Not.
Can I Get You Something? Well, I Gotta Pee Like A Racehorse.
But I Would Not Say No To A Cup Of Coffee.
Down The Hall.
First Door On The Right.
Ok.
So I Just Oh, Hey.
Do You Think That I Could Get A Tour Of Your Boat? Uh, Sure.
I Gotta Get Back To Work.
Arthur: I'll Call You Later, All Right.
Lilly, Where Are You? We Need To Talk.
Defcon 5.
Where's Lilly? Well, Hello To You, Miss Fancy Pants.
How's Palm Beach Living Treating You? It's Fine.
But- I Just Got These In.
They're From The Jessica Simpson Hairdo Collection.
Aren't They Scrumptious? You Should Get Your Girls To Come Down Here.
I Will Put These In Free Of Charge.
All I Want Is A Picture For The Wall.
Dale, I Need To Talk To Lilly.
When's Her Next Shift? Well, She's Not Due Back From Her Honeymoon Until Next Week.
Her What? Her Honeymoon, Honey.
Acapulco.
Si.
Si.
Wait.
Back Up.
Back Up.
Ok.
Lilly Got Married? Oh, Look At You.
3 Steps Behind.
I Am So Sorry, Pooh Bear, I Thought You Knew.
That Sexy Sammy And Her, They Tied The Knot Just Last Week.
I've Got Pictures.
I Gave Her A Bouffant.
Girl, It Wasn't Teased.
It Was Terrified.
Lord, I'm Going Crazy.
Where Are Those Pictures? Hey,??? See, Completely Burnt.
That's Not- I Wouldn't Say Burnt.
Please Don't Make Me Eat That! Ahh.
G A New Toaster.
I- I've Been Through So Much With This Guy.
Like The Day I Discovered I Could Actually Make Grilled Cheese In There.
This Is A Lasting Relationship I Have With This Thing.
I'm Sorry.
I'm So Sorry.
Hey, Megan, What's Up? Were You Guys Just About To Have Sex Right Now? Because, I Could Just Wait Outside.
What's Going On? Are You Ok? Well, Lilly Got Married.
What?! Thank You For Having The Proper Reaction.
I Mean, What? When? How? Who? Don't Tell Me.
Sleazy Sammy.
Oh.
I Know, It's Like The End Of The World.
Who's Sleazy Sammy? It Doesn't Even Matter Because That's Not Even The Big News Of The Day.
How Can That Not Be- Mom's Home! Whoo! Who's Mom? Wait, Your Mom? I Just Saw Her.
You Saw Her?! Yeah, She Came Over To My Dad's House While We Were Having Lunch.
I'm Pretty Much Dying Right Now.
I'm Gonna Let You Guys Do This.
No, Mandy, Don't Go.
No.
I'm Sorry.
I Just-I'm Freaking Out Because I Haven't Seen My Mom Since I Was 7.
Oh I Didn't Realize That.
I'm Sorry.
It Was So Weird.
I Mean, She Wasn't Anything Like I Thought She Would Be.
I Always Imagined That I Would Run Into Her One Day And She Would Be Like This Crazy Homeless Woman All Scary And Haggard And Whatnot.
But She's Pretty.
If I Didn't Know She'd Abandoned Her Family, I Would Think That She Was A Completely Normal Person.
I Don't Think I Can Handle This, Charlie.
I Just Don't Think I Can Do It Right Now.
Yes, You Can.
You're Gonna Be Fine.
Maybe We Should Cancel Our Double Date Tomorrow Night.
Seems Like You've Got A Lot Going On.
No.
No, I Don't Want To Cancel.
I've Been Looking Forward To It.
And We've Had To Reschedule So Many Times.
Plus, I Really Want You Guys To Get To Know Will.
Although If Either Of You Want To Run Me Over With A Car Right Now, I Might Be Up For That, Too.
Ok.
Am I Nuts Or Is Luis Incredibly Hot? Oh, You Are An Assortment Of Nuts.
He's Rude, Arrogant.
Just Because He Has An Accent Doesn't Automatically Make Him Hot.
Yeah, It Does.
Mmm.
Ok, Luis, Whatever This Is, It Smells Wonderful.
It's A Pot Of Boiling Water.
Well, I'm Sure You're Gonna Turn It Into Something Incredible.
You Are Such An Amazing Chef.
Thank You.
Ooh.
Whip Cream From Scratch.
I Love Sweets.
That's Sour Cream.
Mm.
That's Deliciously Sour.
Oh, My God.
You Really Should Label These Things! I'll Be Out Of Here In A Minute.
Have You Ever Noticed That My Sister Is A Full-On Nympho? She's A Total David Duchovny.
You Should Have Seen How She Was All Over Him, Rami.
It Was Disgusting.
All Over Who? Luis.
Really? I Thought Luis Was Your Man.
Are You Drunk? No, He's Not My Man.
Why Would You Think That? Because You Fight Like Lovers.
Ok.
First, Never Say "Lovers" Again.
And Second, Do People Think I'm Into Luis? It's All The Buzz.
Oh, My God.
She Is Unbelievable.
That's Why She's Doing This Whole Flirt Act With Luis- To Make Me Jealous! She Thinks That If I Think That She Thinks He's Cute, Then I'll Think He's Cute, Too.
I Don't Think He's That Cute.
Because He's Not.
Poor Rosie.
Doesn't She Know That I Invented The Jealousy Game? I'm Gonna Have To Teach Her A Lesson About Tricking Your Sister.
By Tricking Your Sister.
Lessons Don't Come Easy, Rami.
But I'll Need A Wingman.
Are You With Me? What's In It Or Me? Nothing.
I'm In.
Dad, It's Me Again.
Why Aren't You Calling Me Back? I Called Lilly, And She's Not Answering Her Phone.
Well, I Can't Leave This For You On Your Voicemail, So Call Me, Ok.
Aah! Sorry.
You Gotta Start Wearing Bells Or Something.
What's Wrong? You Seem Wired.
I Can't Get Into It.
But Long Story Short, Lilly Got Married.
Lilly Got What? And My Mom Showed Up Today.
And Nobody's Calling Me Back Which Is Very Annoying.
I'm Confused.
I Thought Your Mom Has Been Out Of The Picture Forever.
Look, Can We Talk About Something Else? 'Cause I Have Been Moaning About This To Charlie All Day.
And I'm Exhausted.
No Problem.
I Actually Came Over Here To Tell You Something Kind Of Interesting.
I Had Dinner With My Dad Last Night.
He's Talking About Starting A New Magazine.
You Remember How J.
F.
K.
Jr.
Created George? Trying To Make Politics Seem Young And Hip? Vaguely.
Well, He's Thinking About Doing The Same Kind Of Thing, Only Instead Of Focusing On Politics, He Wants To Focus On Young Philanthropists.
Giving Rich People Across The Country A Better Name.
Exactly.
And I Was Thinking That If Someone Came Up With An Idea For A Feature Article For Said Fictitious Magazine That Maybe The Magazine Might Actually Happen.
You Mean, You Want Me Pitch Your Dad A Story Idea Like Real Writer? Well, If It Works, You Could Become Part Of The Staff.
Might Be A Cool Opportunity, Don't You Think? I Think You're Cool.
Well, I Won't Fight Ya On That.
Hi.
Come On In.
I'm Sorry To Barge In On You Like This.
But I Need To Talk To You About Lilly.
Lilly? Oh, Is She Coming Over, Too? Hey, Maybe We Could All Have Breakfast Together.
No.
She's Not Coming Over.
Look, Can I Talk To You In Private, Please? What's Going On? Is She All Right? I Don't Know.
She Won't Pick Up Any Of My Phone Calls.
And Supposedly She Got Married Last Week.
Married? To Who? Oh, Lilly Got Married.
That's So Exciting.
Good For Her.
No.
It's Actually Not Good For Her.
Look, I Think She Got Back Together With Sammy.
Maybe I Should Call Her? Is Sammy Somebody That I'd Know? Maybe He's Somebody From The Old Neighborhood.
No.
You Would Not Know Sammy.
Because You Don't Know Any Of Us.
So Your Opinion Means Nothing.
Megan - I'm Serious.
This Is Ridiculous.
What Does She Think She's Doing? I'm Just Trying To Find Out A Little Bit About My Daughter's New Husband.
That's All.
You Gave Up The Right To Call Either One Of Us Daughter When You Walked Out.
I'm Not Discussing This With Her Around.
So, Call Me When She's Gone.
Sage, Your Guest Has Arrived.
Zachary, Hey.
Thank You So Much For Coming.
Oh, It's, You Know, No Problem.
Is-Is Rose Around? Rose? Um, I Think She Went Shopping.
Oh, Ok.
Yeah.
Have A Seat.
Uh, So What Part Of The Chemistry Assignment Don't You Get? All Of It.
Oh.
Ok.
Well, I Guess- Yeah, I Don't Really Care About That.
Um, The Real Reason I Asked You To Come Here Was To Talk About Rose.
Oh, What About Her? Um, Well, She's Super Into You.
Rami: She Talks About You All The Time.
She's All Zachary This And Zachary That- Ok, Rami.
He's So Cute.
And Oh, My God.
Zachary- Rami! Uh, I Had No Idea.
That's Cool.
Um, Obviously You Know She's Awesome.
Totally Awesome.
So What Should I Do? Ok.
Rose Is A Big-Time Romantic.
I Mean, She's Seen The Notebook, Like, 9 Times.
Really? I Loved That Movie.
Um, Yeah Maybe Don't Share That With Everyone.
But Say If You Could Be Back Here At Around 6:00? Bring Some Flowers And Just Be Your Dorkable Self.
I Can Do That.
Great.
And You Know, Don't Be Afraid To Work The Look A Little Bit.
Maybe Some Product.
Your Call.
Ok, So If I Were To Put- Question-What Makes You Think Rose Will Be Into This Boy? Well, I Already Know She Thinks He's Hot.
Plus, She Always Goes For The Underdogs.
But The Fact That He's Also Into Her Was An Added Bonus.
The Gods Must Be Smiling Down On Us, Ramster.
You Might Be Right, Sage-Ster.
Don't Do That.
Well, She Was Like, "Oh, It's So Great That Lilly's Getting Married.
"Would I Know Sammy?" And I Was Like, I'm Gonna Punch You In The Face.
Oh, Uh, Will's Here.
I'll Tell You The Whole Story Later.
Bye, Charlie.
Hi.
So, What Do You Think Of The Blazer? Is It Too Much? I Don't Know.
Where You Going? I Have An Interview With Victoria Taylor.
She Is An Heiress To A Tobacco Fortune Who Started A Foundation To Help Kids Stop Smoking.
How Great Of An Idea Is That For An Article? You Don't Like It? Is It Too Ironic? Does Your Dad Hate Irony? Are We Over Irony As A Nation? I Don't Know.
I Gotta Ask You Something.
Not About The Magazine.
Oh, Ok.
Why Don't You Talk To Me About Your Family Stuff? I Don't Know.
I Mean, I Guess It's Depressing- Yeah, But You Talk To Charlie About It.
Yeah, But He Knows All The Players.
And Plus It's Just Easier.
Well, You Know What I Mean.
No, I Don't Really.
'Cause I Have No Idea What The Deal Is With Your Mom, Other Than The Fact That She Left When You Were A Kid.
Look, I Am Going To Be Late For My Interview.
Yeah, Ok.
Good Luck.
Are We Still On For Dinner Tonight? Sure.
Yeah, I'll Pick You Up At 7:00.
Ok So Anyway, 2 Years Ago I Decided To Donate 3 Million To The Lung Cancer Unit At Mt.
Sinal.
Wow.
But Once I Visited, I Realized I Was Putting My Money In The Wrong Place.
By The Time A Lot Of Those People Get To The Hospital, It's Too Late.
So, I Said, Ok.
How Can I Be Part Of The Prevention? Which Is How I Came Up With Moveyourbutt.
Org.
And How Did You Dad React When You Started The Whole Thing? My Dad? Yeah, I Mean He Must Have Been Pretty Pissed, Right? You Gotta Love That.
He Was Very Supportive, Actually.
Come On.
A Tobacco Heiress Spending Her Extra Cash Shutting Down The Very Industrythat Her Father Built His Entire Fortune On.
I Mean, That's Freudian Stuff.
You're Misinterpreting The Situation.
Hey, I'm Not Judging.
Believe Me, I Get It.
No, I Don't Think You Do.
I'm Sorry.
But This Is Not The Kind Of Article I Want To Participate In.
Wait-Victoria.
It Was Nice Meeting You.
Vicky.
How Long You Been Sitting Here? Uh, Not So Long.
Well, You're All Dressed Up.
Yeah, Well.
I Had An Interview For An Article I'm Trying To Write.
It Sort Of Fell Apart, Just Like Everything Else The Past Couple Of Days Since You Know Who Showed Up.
She's Taking Up Way Too Much Brain Space.
Yeah, I Know.
That's Why I Came By.
You Don't Have To Apologize, Dad.
It's Not Your Fault She Blows Into Town And Creates Chaos.
I Didn't Come By To Apologize.
Oh.
I Came By Because I'm Upset With You, Megan.
With Me? I Think You're Being A Little Hard On Your Mother.
I Can't Believe This.
Hear Me Out.
You Don't Know The Whole Story.
And I Think It's About Time You Did.
I Made A Lot Of Promises To That Woman, Most Of Which I Didn't Keep.
We Never Planned On Having Kids So Young.
Did You Know Your Mom Was A- She Wanted To Be A Singer When She Was Your Age? She Was Good, Too.
Used To Write All Her Own Songs.
So? So.
I Swore I'd Help Her Pursue That Dream.
And You Came Along, And I Was Fine To Just Be A Dad And Stay Put.
I Settled Into A Routine Right Away.
I Never Noticed How Unhappy Your Mom Was.
So, Her Life Doesn't Turn Out The Way That She Wants, So She Gets To Abandon Her Entire Family? Give Me A Break, Dad.
I Didn't Say She Handled It Right.
She Feel Badly.
I Know She Regrets Some Of The Choices- Some Of The Choices? She's Trying Sweetheart.
She Deserves A Second Chance.
Well, I Disagree.
Why? You Forgave Me.
You Didn't Leave Me When I Was 7 Years Old, Dad.
Sure I Did.
I Checked Out.
Drank Myself Into Such A State That Half The Time I Didn't Know Where You Or Your Sister Were.
Why Are You Doing This To Me? You're Angry.
I Understand.
But You Can't Let It Own You, Sweetheart.
You Need To Find A Way To Let It Go.
And How Do You Expect Me To Do That? By Forgiving Her.
Give Her The Chance To Make Things Right.
What If I Can't? If You Can't Forgive Her, I Don't Want You To Forgive Me.
Good Evening, Zachary.
Oh, Good Evening Butler.
Is Rose Here? I Mean, I Know She Is But I Have To Say That, Right? Lovely Flowers.
Well Done.
She's In The Kitchen.
Oh, Rose, You Have A Gentleman Caller.
Zach, What Are You Doing Here? Well, Um- He Came To See You.
Yeah.
I Thought If You Weren't Doing Anything, We Could, You Know, Hang.
Yeah.
Oh, Uh- These Are For You.
Oh, My Gosh.
They're Beautiful.
And Massive.
Um, Do You Want To Help Me Put 'Em In Water? Yeah, Ok.
The Eagle Has Landed.
What? He's Here! Oh, Finally.
And Don't Create Code.
It's Weird.
Well, I Say You Dump Them Both.
You Obviously Did Fine Without Either One Of Them Raising You.
Why Take Take All Their Crap Now? Maybe.
It's Just Frustrating.
Things Have Been So Much Better With My Dad Lately.
It's Been Kinda Nice Having Him In My Life Again.
Well, Maybe You Can Have That With Your Mom, Too.
If You Took This As An Opportunity To Get To Know Her Again.
The Woman's Obviously Been Through A Lot.
I Don't Care What She's Been Through.
Doesn't Amount To A 1/10 Of What I've Been Through Because Of Her.
What Your Mom Did Is Terrible- But You Want Me To Forgive Her.
She Didn't Even Ask Me To Forgive Her.
My Dad Asked Me.
She Probably Doesn't Even Think She Messed Up.
Come On, She Knows That She Messed Up.
Should We Get Some More Chips And Salsa Here Maybe? What Do You Think About This, Charlie? I Mean, You've Been Pretty Quiet.
I Think The Situation Sucks.
I Just Know How Hard Megan's Worked To Fix Stuff With Her Dad.
And I Know How Much It Means To Him.
I Just Hope They Can Get Through This Without Doing Too Much Damage To Their Relationship.
We All Want That.
But That Doesn't Just Magically Happen If You Don't Take Action.
Like, You Don't Have To Forgive Your Mom.
But That Doesn't Mean You Can't Put On A Good Face While She's Here.
What Do You Mean? Fake It? He's Here Through The Weekend, Right? Just Act Like You're Over It.
You're Dad Will Feel Better And Everything Will Go Back To Normal.
And Then She Just Gets A Free Pass For Being A Horrible Mother? Well, You're Not Doing It For Her.
You're Doing It For Your Dad.
I Have To Go To The Restroom.
Excuse Me.
Ok.
I Still Can't Believe That You Play The French Horn.
It's Totally My Favorite Horn.
Mine, Too.
Plus, You Know How When You Play It You Keep Your Hand Inside The Open End? Well I Used To Stuff Starbursts Inside And Take One Out Whenever My Instructor Wasn't Looking.
Oh, My God! That Is Genius! Oh, Hello, Sage.
Rose, Sage Is Here.
Hi.
You Want Some Ice Cream? No, Thanks.
Wow! Zach, Did You Get Those Flowers For Rose? Yeah, I Was Gonna Get Her Roses But Then I Was Like, Obvious Much.
Isn't He Sweet? Rose, Can I See You For A Moment? Unless You Don't Mind Discussing Your Lactose Intolerance In Front Of These People.
What Are You Doing?! That Was So Humiliating! You Are Officially The Worst Matchmaker In The Whole World.
What Are You Talking About? Sage And Luis.
Ohh.
Right.
Shoot.
This Was Your Idea Sweetcheeks.
I'm Your Wingman.
But You're Not Gonna Make Sage Jealous If You're All Over French Horny Boy.
I Am So Sorry.
I Just-I Totally Forgot.
Thanks, Marco.
So, Rose, You Wanna Go Watch Some Tv? Um, No.
Thanks.
Wow, Luis, You're Really Good At Chopping Vegetables.
Your Hands Are So Strong.
It's A Zucchini.
It Doesn't Take Much.
But The Way You Do It It's Just So Artful.
You're Like One Of Those Guys At Benihana.
I Could Watch You Work For Hours.
So, I Guess I'm Gonna Take Off.
You Are? I Mean, Ok.
Whatever.
Could You Teach Me How To Chop? Come On, Zachary.
I'll Walk You Out.
First Step Is- Yeah, I Get It.
Thanks A Lot.
Are They Medicated? Hey.
Thank You, Sir.
Please Tell Me It's Over.
What? You Didn't Enjoy The Spanish Inquisition And The Runny Chimichangas? I Am Never Giving Advice Again.
Ever.
I Didn't Realize How Annoying It Was.
I'm Sorry.
It's Not Your Fault.
Will Doesn't Get It.
Well, It's A Lot To Get.
Have You Talked To Him About It? It's Hard.
I Mean There's A Lot Of Ground To Cover.
And He Comes From This, Like, Perfect Family.
His Parents Are Still Together And Actually Love Each Other.
Seriously? Yes.
Total Freaks.
Well, Give Him Some Time.
It Took Me Years To Fully Understand The Madness That Is The Smith Family.
But You're Worth The Effort.
And He Knows That.
Mmm.
Are You Good? I'm Good.
It's Just Weird That Zach Would Leave So Suddenly.
You Know? He Said Something About Having To Be Somewhere Else.
Somewhere Else? What Like Somebody Else's House? Did He Say, Like, Mention A Girl Or Something? I Can't Remember.
But Why Do You Care? You Like Luis Anyway.
Oh, I Know.
Well, I Just- I Don't Want To Hurt Zach's Feelings.
He's So Nice.
Eh, He'll Live.
But But The Heart Wants What The Heart Wants.
Yeah.
Stupid Heart.
Ok.
Who Did He Say He Was Going To See? I Need To Know! I Knew It.
You Don't Like Luis At All, Do You? Admit It.
Ok.
You're Right.
I Don't.
So Why Were You Pretending To Like Him? Not That I Don't Already Know.
But I Want To Make You Say It.
Because I Thought That Deep Down You Actually Liked Luis.
You Were Just Too Scared- Scared Of What? Ok.
I Didn't Mean Scared.
I Just- Well, I Just Thought That Maybe You Needed A Little Prompting To Bring Out Your True Feelings.
Uh-Huh.
God, I Really Suck At This.
I Know.
But It's Fun To Watch You Try.
I Can't Believe I Let Zach Get Away.
He's So Cute And Sweet.
And Funny.
Yeah.
He Got Away To The Backyard.
I Told Him To Wait By The Pool.
Oh, I Love You.
So, I Gotta Ask.
Yeah.
You And Megan- You Still Into Her? I Have A Girlfriend.
She's In The Bathroom Right Now With Your Girlfriend.
Name's Mandy.
Really Cute.
Yeah, I Know You Liked Megan.
I Knew It That Day At The Pool Party.
I Just Want To Know If You Still Do.
I'm Not Your Problem, Buddy.
I Didn't Say I Had A Problem.
No, I Know You Didn't Say It.
You Probably Didn't Even Think It 'Cause You're Kinda Cocky.
But You Do Have A Problem.
It's You.
Is That Right? Look, I Know You're Just Trying To Catch Up.
And I'm Sure Megan's Not Making It Easy On Ya.
She's Pretty Messed Up When It Comes To Her Family.
But Their Problems Are Serious.
And They Run Pretty Deep.
If I Were You, I Wouldn't Go Firing Off Ideas On How To Fix Things Or Throwing Out Some Half-Baked Opinion Just To Keep The Conversation Going.
Yeah, And If I Was You, I'd Keep The Advice To Myself.
Hey, Are We Ready? Absolutely.
I'll Talk To You Later, Megan.
Bye.
Bye.
You Ok? I'm Fine.
I'm Just Tired.
Me, Too.
Hey, Dad, It's Me.
Um, Is Mom There? I Hate You, Will.
I Hate You, Will.
Hey, Mom.
It's-It's Megan.
Um, What Are You Doing Tomorrow? Can I Help You? Where's Luis? I Called Down On The Intercom 10 Minutes Ago For Him To Make Me A Smoothie.
I Can Make That For Ya.
Oh, You Don't Have To Worry About It.
I'm Sure Louie Can Figure It Out.
I Fired Him This Morning.
Fired Like Gone? Yeah.
And I'm Sorry It Took Me This Long.
I Mean, He May Have Been An Excellent Sous Chef, But He Wasn't Worth All The Drama That Came With It.
And I Apologize For Not Taking Your Input Seriously When You First Asked.
Oh, Um.
That's Ok.
But I Kinda Feel Bad.
I Mean, He Probably Needed The Job, Right? Well, Everybody Needs A Job.
But Not Everyone Gets To Work Here.
Now, What Kind Of Smoothie Would You Like, Honey.
'Cause I'm Gonna Make It For You.
Uh, You Know On Second Thought, I'm Not That Hungry.
Thanks, Marco.
30th High School Reunion.
Ugh, It Makes Me Sound So Old.
But, You Know, I Don't Feel Old.
Well, It's How You Feel, Right? Isn't This Fun? It's A Mother/Daughter Shopping Trip.
Of Course If We Had Done This When You Were Teenagers, We'd Be Fighting Our Nuts Off.
Huh? Or Maybe It'd Be Nice.
Uh-Huh.
I Know That I Missed A Lot.
And I Wished That- You Know What? It's Ok.
It's Water Under The Bridge, Right? Yeah.
So, Tell Me Everything.
Do You Have A Boyfriend? Oh, Yeah.
Your Dad Told Me That You Want To Be A Writer.
That Sounds Like Fun.
It Is Fun.
It's Very Fun.
You Working On Anything Now? Um, Actually Yeah.
I'm Trying To Come Up With An Article For This New Magazine.
It's All About Young Philanthropists And The Charities They Donate To.
Ugh.
Yuck.
Who Wants To Read That? Excuse Me? I'd Rather Poke A Nail File In My Eye Than Read One More Piece Of Garbage Ooh, Look At The Shimmer On This One! Hey, Now She's A Keeper.
It's Not About Their Boo-Hoo Problems.
It's About The Problems In The World That They're Trying To Fix.
Yeah With Their Money.
Big Whoop.
If I Had $1 Million, I'd Throw Some Coin At Cancer, Too.
I'd Like To Read About The People Who Actually Do The Work After Those Wealthy People Give 'Em That Cash.
Huh? Now You See, That's A Story.
Actually You Have A Point.
See, This Is The Kind Of Intellectual Conversation That I Have Been Missing.
Oh, And It's Too Bad That I'm Leaving Tomorrow.
Ah, Something In Red, Finally.
Ok.
So You Know How Your Dad Is All Gung-Ho About Doing A Magazine That Focuses On The Super Rich? Well, What If That Focus Was Just The Beginning? Meaning What? Ok.
What If The Magazine Is Dedicated To How A Charity Operation Works? Each Month We Can Focus On Different Causes And All Of The People Involved.
I Mean, This Way Everyone's Counted.
You Know, Not Just The Uber Rich.
And We Call The Magazine Ripple.
Like The Ripple Effect.
Nice.
Really? Yeah.
What Made You Come Up With It? It Actually Came Out Of A Conversation That I Had With My Mom.
I Saw Her This Afternoon.
Oh, Yeah.
How'd That Go? It Went Ok, Actually.
You Were Right.
It Was Much Easier To Suck It Up For An Afternoon Than To Fight With My Dad Forever.
So, Thank You.
Anytime.
Did You Tell Charlie? Not Yet, No.
You Know There's Nothing To Be Jealous About, Right? I Know.
But It's Not Just That.
You Gave Me A Lot Of Crap About What It Means To Be A Good Boyfriend.
And I Took It To Heart.
I'm Trying Over Here.
But You Have Some Work To Do In The Girlfriend Department.
What Are You Talking About? You're Not So Great With The Sharing.
And From What I've Heard, Sharing Is A Big Deal When It Comes To The Whole Relationship Thing.
You're Right.
I'll Do Better.
Yeah? Yeah.
Relationships Are A Lot Of Freakin' Work, Aren't They? No Wonder I've Been Avoiding Them My Whole Life.
I Know.
They Seem To Involve A Whole Lot Of Talking.
Right? Well How About We Make Out For 10 Minutes, And Then I'll Tell You All About The Stuff That My Mom Did At My 6th Birthday Party.
It's A Real Freak Show.
Make It 20 Minutes And You're On.
And We Must Have Talked For Like 4 Hours Straight.
I Mean, Zach And I Actually Have Some Stuff In Common.
That's Great.
We Both Love Jon Stewart.
We Both Hate Garbanzo Beans.
And You Think He's Cute, Right? As A Button.
Hmm.
What's Wrong? You Seem All Blue.
Oh, Um, I Don't Know.
I Think It's Because I Had To Miss My Morning Massage.
Or Could It Be That You're Missing Something Else Or Someone? What Are You Talking About? Well, I Mean-What's Different In Your Life That Could Be Making You Sad? Um, Let's See Oh, Well, Luis Is Gone.
Oh, But You Don't Like Him.
So Do You Think It's Possible That I Do? I Don't Know.
Kinda Seemed Like You Did.
And It Kinda Seemed Like He Liked You Back.
Really? Oh, Come On.
All That Fighting? It Was So Ashton And Cameron In That Vegas Movie.
Ha Ha.
I Guess It Kinda Was, Wasn't It? You Know It's Ok To Let Your Guard Down Every Once In A While.
Doesn't Always Have To Turn Out Badly.
But What If I'm Not Fun? What Are You Talking About? You're Super Fun.
Yeah.
With You And, Like, Parties And Stuff.
But You Know How You're Always Saying, School Just Comes Easy For Me? Well, Being Adorable Comes Easy For You.
It's A Gift, Rose.
You Should Cherish It.
So, You Do Like Him? Well, I Guess I Did.
But It's Too Late Now.
He's Gone.
And It's All My Fault.
I'm Such An Idiot.
I'm Sorry, Sweetie.
Hey, You Know What You Need- A Little Comfort Food.
Hey Luis Luis: Will Do.
Guess Luis Isn't Fired.
What- I'm Gonna Kill You! I Knew You Liked Him! You Are So Dead! Go Rose! Go Rose! Oh, Hey, Hon.
Come On In.
Hey, Kiddo.
Want Some Eggs? Just Having A Late Breakfast.
Or An Early Lunch Depending On How You Look At It.
What's Going On? I Thought That You Had An Early Morning Flight.
Well, Your Dad And I Had Such A Good Time At That Reunion Last Night And Then Me And You Had Such Fun Shopping, It Just Seemed Sort Of Silly Just To Rush Off.
So You Booked A Later Flight? Uh, No.
I've Talked To Your Dad.
And I've Decided That I'm Just Gonna Stick Around For A Little While.
???? Oh, We're Gonna Have Such A Good Time.
Hi.
I-I'm Luis.
He's New.
Well, I Like Megan A Lot.
She's My Best Friend.
You Worried About Her? Should I Be? My Dad Was A Drunk And Generally Unemployed Since My Mom Left.
I Could See How Much You've Changed.
And I Just Thought This Would, You Know, Be A Great Opportunity To Start Over.
Good.
Ok.
Because It's Not A Word.
No Proper Nouns.
Come On, I Gave You Weezie.
Oh, Well, Despite Your Obsession With The Jeffersons, Weezie Is Not A Name.
It's Like-Ooh, It's Allergy Season.
I'm Feeling Weezie.
What's Up Weezie? It's Me George.
Oh, God.
Get You Another Soda? Yes.
Please.
Oh, Uh, Dad.
Wh-Uh, It Says Shelby.
Um, Do You Know Any Other Shelbys Besides Mom? No.
It's Her.
Well, Should I-Here.
Shelby, Hi.
Yeah, I Did.
No, I Wasn't Planning On It.
No.
No, I Don't Think That'd Be A Good Idea.
Well, I Just Don't.
Uh-Huh.
Uh.
Um.
Yeah, Ok.
That's Fine.
Fine.
Bye.
I'm Sorry About That.
So, Um How Often Do You Talk To Her? 'Cause That Didn't Sound Like A First-Time-In-16-Years Kind Of Conversation.
Not Often.
Little More These Past Few Months.
Ever Since I Saw Her.
You Saw Her? After I Got Sober, It Was Part Of The Program.
I Needed To Make Amends.
And I Drove Up To Meet Her In Atlantic City.
That's Where She Lives Now.
We Had Coffee.
She Asked About You, Of Course.
That's It.
I Mean, It Was Nothing, Really.
So, Why Is She Calling You Now? Funny Thing Actually.
Not That Any Of This Is Funny.
But This Weekend Is Our 30th High School Reunion.
And Your Mom And I Were Kind Of A Big Deal In High School.
Yeah.
Prom King And Queen.
Heard The Stories.
Worked Out Great.
I Guess She Found Out About The Whole Thing And Thought It Sounded Fun.
She Just Got Into Town, And She's On Her Way Over.
Right Now?! Yeah.
10 Minutes Or So.
Look, You Heard Me Say It Wasn't A Good Idea.
But She Just Railroaded Me.
I Didn't Know What To Say.
Are You All Right? No.
No.
I-I'm Weezie.
What Are You Doing? I Read That The Final Slice Of A Garlic Clove Is The Most Delicate.
You Don't Want To Waste Any Of This.
You're A Sous Chef, Luis.
Not A Rabbi.
Just Cut The Garlic.
I Am Beyond Exhausted.
Marco, I Will Pay You To Make Me A Protein Shake.
Your Grandmother Already Has That Covered.
But I Do Accept Tips.
Sage, Protein Shake? I'll Pass.
I Am Hungry, Though.
Make Me A Snack, Would You Louie? Snack? I'm Supposed To Make A Snack For Snotty Spice? Unless You're Too Busy Checking Out Your Own Reflection In A Spoon.
Fine.
When I'm Finished With This, I'll Fix You Some Apple Slices With Peanut Butter And Turn On Barney.
Ohh.
Luis, The Lady Of The House Asked You To Make Her A Snack.
Make Her A Snack.
Malcriada.
Hello, I Speak Some Spanish.
I Watch Tele-Novellas.
He Is So Rude.
Marco, That Guy- Is A Divine Cook And A Festival For The Eyes, I Agree.
I've Lost My Appetite.
Wow, Sage Really Hates Luis, Huh? Yeah.
The Way I Hated Lenny Fleck In The 5th Grade So Much That I Threw A Rock At His Head Everyday.
Why Did You Throw A Rock At Him? Because He Was Beautiful And Knew All The Words To I Will Survive.
I Have No Idea What That Means.
The Way Those 2 Have Been Fighting For The Past 2 Weeks.
Come On Ohh.
Ohh! Wait, So You Think That Sage Actually Likes Luis.
Well, Of Course, That Makes So Much More Sense.
They Are So Cute Together, Too.
I Mean, She's All Peachy Creamy, And He's All Hot And Tanny.
And He Is Way Smart.
Ok.
Every Time She Says Something Mean, He Jumps Right Back With Something Even Meaner.
I Love This.
I Do.
I Cannot Wait For Them To Start Dating.
Well, I Hate To Burst Your Bubble, But The Chances Of Sage Dating Luis Are Zero.
Before You Go Out With Someone, You Have To First Admit You Like Them.
And That Girl Is So Meshugena She Doesn't Even Know She Likes Him.
That's Yiddish For Crazy.
Oh, Sage Isn't Yiddish.
She's Just Scared To Let Anyone In 'Cause She Doesn't Want To Get Hurt.
But If She Doesn't Know She Likes Luis, Then It's Up To Us To Help Her Figure It Out.
Wait A Minute.
What "Us"? Please.
Come On.
I - I've Never Done Anything Like This On My Own.
And Well, I Can't Ask Sage For Help On This One.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
As Long As It Doesn't Involve Me Wearing A Mustache Or Using A French Accent.
Well, Definitely Not Wearing A Mustache.
You Know, If You Want To Take Off, I'll Understand.
I Can Deal With It.
You Shouldn't Have To Take This On.
I'm Not Going To Leave You Here Ane With Her.
I Mean, You've Been Doing So Well.
Ou've Been Doing So Well.
And I Know How She Messes With Your Head.
No.
We Will Be A United Front.
All Right.
Thanks, Sweetheart.
Shelby: Artie?! Hey.
Oh! Oh, Thank God You're Home.
I've Been Stuck In That Car For An Eternity.
Oh Is That Megan And I Were Just Finishing Lunch When You Called.
Why Didn't You Tell Me That She Was Here? You Didn't Really Give Me A Chance.
No.
Well You Look Fantastic.
I Don't Think I Would Have Recognized You.
Probably Not.
Can I Get You Something? Well, I Gotta Pee Like A Racehorse.
But I Would Not Say No To A Cup Of Coffee.
Down The Hall.
First Door On The Right.
Ok.
So I Just Oh, Hey.
Do You Think That I Could Get A Tour Of Your Boat? Uh, Sure.
I Gotta Get Back To Work.
Arthur: I'll Call You Later, All Right.
Lilly, Where Are You? We Need To Talk.
Defcon 5.
Where's Lilly? Well, Hello To You, Miss Fancy Pants.
How's Palm Beach Living Treating You? It's Fine.
But- I Just Got These In.
They're From The Jessica Simpson Hairdo Collection.
Aren't They Scrumptious? You Should Get Your Girls To Come Down Here.
I Will Put These In Free Of Charge.
All I Want Is A Picture For The Wall.
Dale, I Need To Talk To Lilly.
When's Her Next Shift? Well, She's Not Due Back From Her Honeymoon Until Next Week.
Her What? Her Honeymoon, Honey.
Acapulco.
Si.
Si.
Wait.
Back Up.
Back Up.
Ok.
Lilly Got Married? Oh, Look At You.
3 Steps Behind.
I Am So Sorry, Pooh Bear, I Thought You Knew.
That Sexy Sammy And Her, They Tied The Knot Just Last Week.
I've Got Pictures.
I Gave Her A Bouffant.
Girl, It Wasn't Teased.
It Was Terrified.
Lord, I'm Going Crazy.
Where Are Those Pictures? Hey,??? See, Completely Burnt.
That's Not- I Wouldn't Say Burnt.
Please Don't Make Me Eat That! Ahh.
G A New Toaster.
I- I've Been Through So Much With This Guy.
Like The Day I Discovered I Could Actually Make Grilled Cheese In There.
This Is A Lasting Relationship I Have With This Thing.
I'm Sorry.
I'm So Sorry.
Hey, Megan, What's Up? Were You Guys Just About To Have Sex Right Now? Because, I Could Just Wait Outside.
What's Going On? Are You Ok? Well, Lilly Got Married.
What?! Thank You For Having The Proper Reaction.
I Mean, What? When? How? Who? Don't Tell Me.
Sleazy Sammy.
Oh.
I Know, It's Like The End Of The World.
Who's Sleazy Sammy? It Doesn't Even Matter Because That's Not Even The Big News Of The Day.
How Can That Not Be- Mom's Home! Whoo! Who's Mom? Wait, Your Mom? I Just Saw Her.
You Saw Her?! Yeah, She Came Over To My Dad's House While We Were Having Lunch.
I'm Pretty Much Dying Right Now.
I'm Gonna Let You Guys Do This.
No, Mandy, Don't Go.
No.
I'm Sorry.
I Just-I'm Freaking Out Because I Haven't Seen My Mom Since I Was 7.
Oh I Didn't Realize That.
I'm Sorry.
It Was So Weird.
I Mean, She Wasn't Anything Like I Thought She Would Be.
I Always Imagined That I Would Run Into Her One Day And She Would Be Like This Crazy Homeless Woman All Scary And Haggard And Whatnot.
But She's Pretty.
If I Didn't Know She'd Abandoned Her Family, I Would Think That She Was A Completely Normal Person.
I Don't Think I Can Handle This, Charlie.
I Just Don't Think I Can Do It Right Now.
Yes, You Can.
You're Gonna Be Fine.
Maybe We Should Cancel Our Double Date Tomorrow Night.
Seems Like You've Got A Lot Going On.
No.
No, I Don't Want To Cancel.
I've Been Looking Forward To It.
And We've Had To Reschedule So Many Times.
Plus, I Really Want You Guys To Get To Know Will.
Although If Either Of You Want To Run Me Over With A Car Right Now, I Might Be Up For That, Too.
Ok.
Am I Nuts Or Is Luis Incredibly Hot? Oh, You Are An Assortment Of Nuts.
He's Rude, Arrogant.
Just Because He Has An Accent Doesn't Automatically Make Him Hot.
Yeah, It Does.
Mmm.
Ok, Luis, Whatever This Is, It Smells Wonderful.
It's A Pot Of Boiling Water.
Well, I'm Sure You're Gonna Turn It Into Something Incredible.
You Are Such An Amazing Chef.
Thank You.
Ooh.
Whip Cream From Scratch.
I Love Sweets.
That's Sour Cream.
Mm.
That's Deliciously Sour.
Oh, My God.
You Really Should Label These Things! I'll Be Out Of Here In A Minute.
Have You Ever Noticed That My Sister Is A Full-On Nympho? She's A Total David Duchovny.
You Should Have Seen How She Was All Over Him, Rami.
It Was Disgusting.
All Over Who? Luis.
Really? I Thought Luis Was Your Man.
Are You Drunk? No, He's Not My Man.
Why Would You Think That? Because You Fight Like Lovers.
Ok.
First, Never Say "Lovers" Again.
And Second, Do People Think I'm Into Luis? It's All The Buzz.
Oh, My God.
She Is Unbelievable.
That's Why She's Doing This Whole Flirt Act With Luis- To Make Me Jealous! She Thinks That If I Think That She Thinks He's Cute, Then I'll Think He's Cute, Too.
I Don't Think He's That Cute.
Because He's Not.
Poor Rosie.
Doesn't She Know That I Invented The Jealousy Game? I'm Gonna Have To Teach Her A Lesson About Tricking Your Sister.
By Tricking Your Sister.
Lessons Don't Come Easy, Rami.
But I'll Need A Wingman.
Are You With Me? What's In It Or Me? Nothing.
I'm In.
Dad, It's Me Again.
Why Aren't You Calling Me Back? I Called Lilly, And She's Not Answering Her Phone.
Well, I Can't Leave This For You On Your Voicemail, So Call Me, Ok.
Aah! Sorry.
You Gotta Start Wearing Bells Or Something.
What's Wrong? You Seem Wired.
I Can't Get Into It.
But Long Story Short, Lilly Got Married.
Lilly Got What? And My Mom Showed Up Today.
And Nobody's Calling Me Back Which Is Very Annoying.
I'm Confused.
I Thought Your Mom Has Been Out Of The Picture Forever.
Look, Can We Talk About Something Else? 'Cause I Have Been Moaning About This To Charlie All Day.
And I'm Exhausted.
No Problem.
I Actually Came Over Here To Tell You Something Kind Of Interesting.
I Had Dinner With My Dad Last Night.
He's Talking About Starting A New Magazine.
You Remember How J.
F.
K.
Jr.
Created George? Trying To Make Politics Seem Young And Hip? Vaguely.
Well, He's Thinking About Doing The Same Kind Of Thing, Only Instead Of Focusing On Politics, He Wants To Focus On Young Philanthropists.
Giving Rich People Across The Country A Better Name.
Exactly.
And I Was Thinking That If Someone Came Up With An Idea For A Feature Article For Said Fictitious Magazine That Maybe The Magazine Might Actually Happen.
You Mean, You Want Me Pitch Your Dad A Story Idea Like Real Writer? Well, If It Works, You Could Become Part Of The Staff.
Might Be A Cool Opportunity, Don't You Think? I Think You're Cool.
Well, I Won't Fight Ya On That.
Hi.
Come On In.
I'm Sorry To Barge In On You Like This.
But I Need To Talk To You About Lilly.
Lilly? Oh, Is She Coming Over, Too? Hey, Maybe We Could All Have Breakfast Together.
No.
She's Not Coming Over.
Look, Can I Talk To You In Private, Please? What's Going On? Is She All Right? I Don't Know.
She Won't Pick Up Any Of My Phone Calls.
And Supposedly She Got Married Last Week.
Married? To Who? Oh, Lilly Got Married.
That's So Exciting.
Good For Her.
No.
It's Actually Not Good For Her.
Look, I Think She Got Back Together With Sammy.
Maybe I Should Call Her? Is Sammy Somebody That I'd Know? Maybe He's Somebody From The Old Neighborhood.
No.
You Would Not Know Sammy.
Because You Don't Know Any Of Us.
So Your Opinion Means Nothing.
Megan - I'm Serious.
This Is Ridiculous.
What Does She Think She's Doing? I'm Just Trying To Find Out A Little Bit About My Daughter's New Husband.
That's All.
You Gave Up The Right To Call Either One Of Us Daughter When You Walked Out.
I'm Not Discussing This With Her Around.
So, Call Me When She's Gone.
Sage, Your Guest Has Arrived.
Zachary, Hey.
Thank You So Much For Coming.
Oh, It's, You Know, No Problem.
Is-Is Rose Around? Rose? Um, I Think She Went Shopping.
Oh, Ok.
Yeah.
Have A Seat.
Uh, So What Part Of The Chemistry Assignment Don't You Get? All Of It.
Oh.
Ok.
Well, I Guess- Yeah, I Don't Really Care About That.
Um, The Real Reason I Asked You To Come Here Was To Talk About Rose.
Oh, What About Her? Um, Well, She's Super Into You.
Rami: She Talks About You All The Time.
She's All Zachary This And Zachary That- Ok, Rami.
He's So Cute.
And Oh, My God.
Zachary- Rami! Uh, I Had No Idea.
That's Cool.
Um, Obviously You Know She's Awesome.
Totally Awesome.
So What Should I Do? Ok.
Rose Is A Big-Time Romantic.
I Mean, She's Seen The Notebook, Like, 9 Times.
Really? I Loved That Movie.
Um, Yeah Maybe Don't Share That With Everyone.
But Say If You Could Be Back Here At Around 6:00? Bring Some Flowers And Just Be Your Dorkable Self.
I Can Do That.
Great.
And You Know, Don't Be Afraid To Work The Look A Little Bit.
Maybe Some Product.
Your Call.
Ok, So If I Were To Put- Question-What Makes You Think Rose Will Be Into This Boy? Well, I Already Know She Thinks He's Hot.
Plus, She Always Goes For The Underdogs.
But The Fact That He's Also Into Her Was An Added Bonus.
The Gods Must Be Smiling Down On Us, Ramster.
You Might Be Right, Sage-Ster.
Don't Do That.
Well, She Was Like, "Oh, It's So Great That Lilly's Getting Married.
"Would I Know Sammy?" And I Was Like, I'm Gonna Punch You In The Face.
Oh, Uh, Will's Here.
I'll Tell You The Whole Story Later.
Bye, Charlie.
Hi.
So, What Do You Think Of The Blazer? Is It Too Much? I Don't Know.
Where You Going? I Have An Interview With Victoria Taylor.
She Is An Heiress To A Tobacco Fortune Who Started A Foundation To Help Kids Stop Smoking.
How Great Of An Idea Is That For An Article? You Don't Like It? Is It Too Ironic? Does Your Dad Hate Irony? Are We Over Irony As A Nation? I Don't Know.
I Gotta Ask You Something.
Not About The Magazine.
Oh, Ok.
Why Don't You Talk To Me About Your Family Stuff? I Don't Know.
I Mean, I Guess It's Depressing- Yeah, But You Talk To Charlie About It.
Yeah, But He Knows All The Players.
And Plus It's Just Easier.
Well, You Know What I Mean.
No, I Don't Really.
'Cause I Have No Idea What The Deal Is With Your Mom, Other Than The Fact That She Left When You Were A Kid.
Look, I Am Going To Be Late For My Interview.
Yeah, Ok.
Good Luck.
Are We Still On For Dinner Tonight? Sure.
Yeah, I'll Pick You Up At 7:00.
Ok So Anyway, 2 Years Ago I Decided To Donate 3 Million To The Lung Cancer Unit At Mt.
Sinal.
Wow.
But Once I Visited, I Realized I Was Putting My Money In The Wrong Place.
By The Time A Lot Of Those People Get To The Hospital, It's Too Late.
So, I Said, Ok.
How Can I Be Part Of The Prevention? Which Is How I Came Up With Moveyourbutt.
Org.
And How Did You Dad React When You Started The Whole Thing? My Dad? Yeah, I Mean He Must Have Been Pretty Pissed, Right? You Gotta Love That.
He Was Very Supportive, Actually.
Come On.
A Tobacco Heiress Spending Her Extra Cash Shutting Down The Very Industrythat Her Father Built His Entire Fortune On.
I Mean, That's Freudian Stuff.
You're Misinterpreting The Situation.
Hey, I'm Not Judging.
Believe Me, I Get It.
No, I Don't Think You Do.
I'm Sorry.
But This Is Not The Kind Of Article I Want To Participate In.
Wait-Victoria.
It Was Nice Meeting You.
Vicky.
How Long You Been Sitting Here? Uh, Not So Long.
Well, You're All Dressed Up.
Yeah, Well.
I Had An Interview For An Article I'm Trying To Write.
It Sort Of Fell Apart, Just Like Everything Else The Past Couple Of Days Since You Know Who Showed Up.
She's Taking Up Way Too Much Brain Space.
Yeah, I Know.
That's Why I Came By.
You Don't Have To Apologize, Dad.
It's Not Your Fault She Blows Into Town And Creates Chaos.
I Didn't Come By To Apologize.
Oh.
I Came By Because I'm Upset With You, Megan.
With Me? I Think You're Being A Little Hard On Your Mother.
I Can't Believe This.
Hear Me Out.
You Don't Know The Whole Story.
And I Think It's About Time You Did.
I Made A Lot Of Promises To That Woman, Most Of Which I Didn't Keep.
We Never Planned On Having Kids So Young.
Did You Know Your Mom Was A- She Wanted To Be A Singer When She Was Your Age? She Was Good, Too.
Used To Write All Her Own Songs.
So? So.
I Swore I'd Help Her Pursue That Dream.
And You Came Along, And I Was Fine To Just Be A Dad And Stay Put.
I Settled Into A Routine Right Away.
I Never Noticed How Unhappy Your Mom Was.
So, Her Life Doesn't Turn Out The Way That She Wants, So She Gets To Abandon Her Entire Family? Give Me A Break, Dad.
I Didn't Say She Handled It Right.
She Feel Badly.
I Know She Regrets Some Of The Choices- Some Of The Choices? She's Trying Sweetheart.
She Deserves A Second Chance.
Well, I Disagree.
Why? You Forgave Me.
You Didn't Leave Me When I Was 7 Years Old, Dad.
Sure I Did.
I Checked Out.
Drank Myself Into Such A State That Half The Time I Didn't Know Where You Or Your Sister Were.
Why Are You Doing This To Me? You're Angry.
I Understand.
But You Can't Let It Own You, Sweetheart.
You Need To Find A Way To Let It Go.
And How Do You Expect Me To Do That? By Forgiving Her.
Give Her The Chance To Make Things Right.
What If I Can't? If You Can't Forgive Her, I Don't Want You To Forgive Me.
Good Evening, Zachary.
Oh, Good Evening Butler.
Is Rose Here? I Mean, I Know She Is But I Have To Say That, Right? Lovely Flowers.
Well Done.
She's In The Kitchen.
Oh, Rose, You Have A Gentleman Caller.
Zach, What Are You Doing Here? Well, Um- He Came To See You.
Yeah.
I Thought If You Weren't Doing Anything, We Could, You Know, Hang.
Yeah.
Oh, Uh- These Are For You.
Oh, My Gosh.
They're Beautiful.
And Massive.
Um, Do You Want To Help Me Put 'Em In Water? Yeah, Ok.
The Eagle Has Landed.
What? He's Here! Oh, Finally.
And Don't Create Code.
It's Weird.
Well, I Say You Dump Them Both.
You Obviously Did Fine Without Either One Of Them Raising You.
Why Take Take All Their Crap Now? Maybe.
It's Just Frustrating.
Things Have Been So Much Better With My Dad Lately.
It's Been Kinda Nice Having Him In My Life Again.
Well, Maybe You Can Have That With Your Mom, Too.
If You Took This As An Opportunity To Get To Know Her Again.
The Woman's Obviously Been Through A Lot.
I Don't Care What She's Been Through.
Doesn't Amount To A 1/10 Of What I've Been Through Because Of Her.
What Your Mom Did Is Terrible- But You Want Me To Forgive Her.
She Didn't Even Ask Me To Forgive Her.
My Dad Asked Me.
She Probably Doesn't Even Think She Messed Up.
Come On, She Knows That She Messed Up.
Should We Get Some More Chips And Salsa Here Maybe? What Do You Think About This, Charlie? I Mean, You've Been Pretty Quiet.
I Think The Situation Sucks.
I Just Know How Hard Megan's Worked To Fix Stuff With Her Dad.
And I Know How Much It Means To Him.
I Just Hope They Can Get Through This Without Doing Too Much Damage To Their Relationship.
We All Want That.
But That Doesn't Just Magically Happen If You Don't Take Action.
Like, You Don't Have To Forgive Your Mom.
But That Doesn't Mean You Can't Put On A Good Face While She's Here.
What Do You Mean? Fake It? He's Here Through The Weekend, Right? Just Act Like You're Over It.
You're Dad Will Feel Better And Everything Will Go Back To Normal.
And Then She Just Gets A Free Pass For Being A Horrible Mother? Well, You're Not Doing It For Her.
You're Doing It For Your Dad.
I Have To Go To The Restroom.
Excuse Me.
Ok.
I Still Can't Believe That You Play The French Horn.
It's Totally My Favorite Horn.
Mine, Too.
Plus, You Know How When You Play It You Keep Your Hand Inside The Open End? Well I Used To Stuff Starbursts Inside And Take One Out Whenever My Instructor Wasn't Looking.
Oh, My God! That Is Genius! Oh, Hello, Sage.
Rose, Sage Is Here.
Hi.
You Want Some Ice Cream? No, Thanks.
Wow! Zach, Did You Get Those Flowers For Rose? Yeah, I Was Gonna Get Her Roses But Then I Was Like, Obvious Much.
Isn't He Sweet? Rose, Can I See You For A Moment? Unless You Don't Mind Discussing Your Lactose Intolerance In Front Of These People.
What Are You Doing?! That Was So Humiliating! You Are Officially The Worst Matchmaker In The Whole World.
What Are You Talking About? Sage And Luis.
Ohh.
Right.
Shoot.
This Was Your Idea Sweetcheeks.
I'm Your Wingman.
But You're Not Gonna Make Sage Jealous If You're All Over French Horny Boy.
I Am So Sorry.
I Just-I Totally Forgot.
Thanks, Marco.
So, Rose, You Wanna Go Watch Some Tv? Um, No.
Thanks.
Wow, Luis, You're Really Good At Chopping Vegetables.
Your Hands Are So Strong.
It's A Zucchini.
It Doesn't Take Much.
But The Way You Do It It's Just So Artful.
You're Like One Of Those Guys At Benihana.
I Could Watch You Work For Hours.
So, I Guess I'm Gonna Take Off.
You Are? I Mean, Ok.
Whatever.
Could You Teach Me How To Chop? Come On, Zachary.
I'll Walk You Out.
First Step Is- Yeah, I Get It.
Thanks A Lot.
Are They Medicated? Hey.
Thank You, Sir.
Please Tell Me It's Over.
What? You Didn't Enjoy The Spanish Inquisition And The Runny Chimichangas? I Am Never Giving Advice Again.
Ever.
I Didn't Realize How Annoying It Was.
I'm Sorry.
It's Not Your Fault.
Will Doesn't Get It.
Well, It's A Lot To Get.
Have You Talked To Him About It? It's Hard.
I Mean There's A Lot Of Ground To Cover.
And He Comes From This, Like, Perfect Family.
His Parents Are Still Together And Actually Love Each Other.
Seriously? Yes.
Total Freaks.
Well, Give Him Some Time.
It Took Me Years To Fully Understand The Madness That Is The Smith Family.
But You're Worth The Effort.
And He Knows That.
Mmm.
Are You Good? I'm Good.
It's Just Weird That Zach Would Leave So Suddenly.
You Know? He Said Something About Having To Be Somewhere Else.
Somewhere Else? What Like Somebody Else's House? Did He Say, Like, Mention A Girl Or Something? I Can't Remember.
But Why Do You Care? You Like Luis Anyway.
Oh, I Know.
Well, I Just- I Don't Want To Hurt Zach's Feelings.
He's So Nice.
Eh, He'll Live.
But But The Heart Wants What The Heart Wants.
Yeah.
Stupid Heart.
Ok.
Who Did He Say He Was Going To See? I Need To Know! I Knew It.
You Don't Like Luis At All, Do You? Admit It.
Ok.
You're Right.
I Don't.
So Why Were You Pretending To Like Him? Not That I Don't Already Know.
But I Want To Make You Say It.
Because I Thought That Deep Down You Actually Liked Luis.
You Were Just Too Scared- Scared Of What? Ok.
I Didn't Mean Scared.
I Just- Well, I Just Thought That Maybe You Needed A Little Prompting To Bring Out Your True Feelings.
Uh-Huh.
God, I Really Suck At This.
I Know.
But It's Fun To Watch You Try.
I Can't Believe I Let Zach Get Away.
He's So Cute And Sweet.
And Funny.
Yeah.
He Got Away To The Backyard.
I Told Him To Wait By The Pool.
Oh, I Love You.
So, I Gotta Ask.
Yeah.
You And Megan- You Still Into Her? I Have A Girlfriend.
She's In The Bathroom Right Now With Your Girlfriend.
Name's Mandy.
Really Cute.
Yeah, I Know You Liked Megan.
I Knew It That Day At The Pool Party.
I Just Want To Know If You Still Do.
I'm Not Your Problem, Buddy.
I Didn't Say I Had A Problem.
No, I Know You Didn't Say It.
You Probably Didn't Even Think It 'Cause You're Kinda Cocky.
But You Do Have A Problem.
It's You.
Is That Right? Look, I Know You're Just Trying To Catch Up.
And I'm Sure Megan's Not Making It Easy On Ya.
She's Pretty Messed Up When It Comes To Her Family.
But Their Problems Are Serious.
And They Run Pretty Deep.
If I Were You, I Wouldn't Go Firing Off Ideas On How To Fix Things Or Throwing Out Some Half-Baked Opinion Just To Keep The Conversation Going.
Yeah, And If I Was You, I'd Keep The Advice To Myself.
Hey, Are We Ready? Absolutely.
I'll Talk To You Later, Megan.
Bye.
Bye.
You Ok? I'm Fine.
I'm Just Tired.
Me, Too.
Hey, Dad, It's Me.
Um, Is Mom There? I Hate You, Will.
I Hate You, Will.
Hey, Mom.
It's-It's Megan.
Um, What Are You Doing Tomorrow? Can I Help You? Where's Luis? I Called Down On The Intercom 10 Minutes Ago For Him To Make Me A Smoothie.
I Can Make That For Ya.
Oh, You Don't Have To Worry About It.
I'm Sure Louie Can Figure It Out.
I Fired Him This Morning.
Fired Like Gone? Yeah.
And I'm Sorry It Took Me This Long.
I Mean, He May Have Been An Excellent Sous Chef, But He Wasn't Worth All The Drama That Came With It.
And I Apologize For Not Taking Your Input Seriously When You First Asked.
Oh, Um.
That's Ok.
But I Kinda Feel Bad.
I Mean, He Probably Needed The Job, Right? Well, Everybody Needs A Job.
But Not Everyone Gets To Work Here.
Now, What Kind Of Smoothie Would You Like, Honey.
'Cause I'm Gonna Make It For You.
Uh, You Know On Second Thought, I'm Not That Hungry.
Thanks, Marco.
30th High School Reunion.
Ugh, It Makes Me Sound So Old.
But, You Know, I Don't Feel Old.
Well, It's How You Feel, Right? Isn't This Fun? It's A Mother/Daughter Shopping Trip.
Of Course If We Had Done This When You Were Teenagers, We'd Be Fighting Our Nuts Off.
Huh? Or Maybe It'd Be Nice.
Uh-Huh.
I Know That I Missed A Lot.
And I Wished That- You Know What? It's Ok.
It's Water Under The Bridge, Right? Yeah.
So, Tell Me Everything.
Do You Have A Boyfriend? Oh, Yeah.
Your Dad Told Me That You Want To Be A Writer.
That Sounds Like Fun.
It Is Fun.
It's Very Fun.
You Working On Anything Now? Um, Actually Yeah.
I'm Trying To Come Up With An Article For This New Magazine.
It's All About Young Philanthropists And The Charities They Donate To.
Ugh.
Yuck.
Who Wants To Read That? Excuse Me? I'd Rather Poke A Nail File In My Eye Than Read One More Piece Of Garbage Ooh, Look At The Shimmer On This One! Hey, Now She's A Keeper.
It's Not About Their Boo-Hoo Problems.
It's About The Problems In The World That They're Trying To Fix.
Yeah With Their Money.
Big Whoop.
If I Had $1 Million, I'd Throw Some Coin At Cancer, Too.
I'd Like To Read About The People Who Actually Do The Work After Those Wealthy People Give 'Em That Cash.
Huh? Now You See, That's A Story.
Actually You Have A Point.
See, This Is The Kind Of Intellectual Conversation That I Have Been Missing.
Oh, And It's Too Bad That I'm Leaving Tomorrow.
Ah, Something In Red, Finally.
Ok.
So You Know How Your Dad Is All Gung-Ho About Doing A Magazine That Focuses On The Super Rich? Well, What If That Focus Was Just The Beginning? Meaning What? Ok.
What If The Magazine Is Dedicated To How A Charity Operation Works? Each Month We Can Focus On Different Causes And All Of The People Involved.
I Mean, This Way Everyone's Counted.
You Know, Not Just The Uber Rich.
And We Call The Magazine Ripple.
Like The Ripple Effect.
Nice.
Really? Yeah.
What Made You Come Up With It? It Actually Came Out Of A Conversation That I Had With My Mom.
I Saw Her This Afternoon.
Oh, Yeah.
How'd That Go? It Went Ok, Actually.
You Were Right.
It Was Much Easier To Suck It Up For An Afternoon Than To Fight With My Dad Forever.
So, Thank You.
Anytime.
Did You Tell Charlie? Not Yet, No.
You Know There's Nothing To Be Jealous About, Right? I Know.
But It's Not Just That.
You Gave Me A Lot Of Crap About What It Means To Be A Good Boyfriend.
And I Took It To Heart.
I'm Trying Over Here.
But You Have Some Work To Do In The Girlfriend Department.
What Are You Talking About? You're Not So Great With The Sharing.
And From What I've Heard, Sharing Is A Big Deal When It Comes To The Whole Relationship Thing.
You're Right.
I'll Do Better.
Yeah? Yeah.
Relationships Are A Lot Of Freakin' Work, Aren't They? No Wonder I've Been Avoiding Them My Whole Life.
I Know.
They Seem To Involve A Whole Lot Of Talking.
Right? Well How About We Make Out For 10 Minutes, And Then I'll Tell You All About The Stuff That My Mom Did At My 6th Birthday Party.
It's A Real Freak Show.
Make It 20 Minutes And You're On.
And We Must Have Talked For Like 4 Hours Straight.
I Mean, Zach And I Actually Have Some Stuff In Common.
That's Great.
We Both Love Jon Stewart.
We Both Hate Garbanzo Beans.
And You Think He's Cute, Right? As A Button.
Hmm.
What's Wrong? You Seem All Blue.
Oh, Um, I Don't Know.
I Think It's Because I Had To Miss My Morning Massage.
Or Could It Be That You're Missing Something Else Or Someone? What Are You Talking About? Well, I Mean-What's Different In Your Life That Could Be Making You Sad? Um, Let's See Oh, Well, Luis Is Gone.
Oh, But You Don't Like Him.
So Do You Think It's Possible That I Do? I Don't Know.
Kinda Seemed Like You Did.
And It Kinda Seemed Like He Liked You Back.
Really? Oh, Come On.
All That Fighting? It Was So Ashton And Cameron In That Vegas Movie.
Ha Ha.
I Guess It Kinda Was, Wasn't It? You Know It's Ok To Let Your Guard Down Every Once In A While.
Doesn't Always Have To Turn Out Badly.
But What If I'm Not Fun? What Are You Talking About? You're Super Fun.
Yeah.
With You And, Like, Parties And Stuff.
But You Know How You're Always Saying, School Just Comes Easy For Me? Well, Being Adorable Comes Easy For You.
It's A Gift, Rose.
You Should Cherish It.
So, You Do Like Him? Well, I Guess I Did.
But It's Too Late Now.
He's Gone.
And It's All My Fault.
I'm Such An Idiot.
I'm Sorry, Sweetie.
Hey, You Know What You Need- A Little Comfort Food.
Hey Luis Luis: Will Do.
Guess Luis Isn't Fired.
What- I'm Gonna Kill You! I Knew You Liked Him! You Are So Dead! Go Rose! Go Rose! Oh, Hey, Hon.
Come On In.
Hey, Kiddo.
Want Some Eggs? Just Having A Late Breakfast.
Or An Early Lunch Depending On How You Look At It.
What's Going On? I Thought That You Had An Early Morning Flight.
Well, Your Dad And I Had Such A Good Time At That Reunion Last Night And Then Me And You Had Such Fun Shopping, It Just Seemed Sort Of Silly Just To Rush Off.
So You Booked A Later Flight? Uh, No.
I've Talked To Your Dad.
And I've Decided That I'm Just Gonna Stick Around For A Little While.
???? Oh, We're Gonna Have Such A Good Time.