Rake US (2013) s01e12 Episode Script
A Man's Best Friend
I got picked up for a D.
U.
I.
I think Scarlet has this one in the bag, doesn't she? I hope to become your next district attorney! You want a coked-out, self-absorbed pathological liar running your campaign, be my guest.
Are we even sure that Glenn's available? Oh, I'm sure Glenn is available for you, sweetheart.
Well, what about the fiancée? What's her deal? Your Mikki is his Mikhaela? He's marrying an ex-prostitute.
How does a client account that's supposed to have at least $300,000 in it wind up that far in the red? I'm taking this matter to the police.
- Robert? - Oh, boy.
- before you do.
- Let's make it 1,000, bitch.
- Hi, Dr.
Falcon! - Hey, Alice.
- How are you? - Good, good.
Did Becca and Mrs.
Falcon have a nice vacation in Hawaii? They had a great time.
Thanks.
Oh.
Okay, it's $87.
98.
Is something wrong? My briefcase.
Where's my briefcase? Just tell me the damn truth.
It is such a simple question, Keegan.
If you choose not to answer this, you have to realize there is no future for us.
What future are you possibly contemplating, Mikki? We're done.
I'm sick and tired of you coming over here like some low-rent Holly Golightly to tell me when and when we can't be friends, asking for favors.
I just need to know who I can trust right now, okay? Please just answer the question.
Did you tell Scarlet about my past? No.
I didn't tell Scarlet about your past.
Okay.
Hey, um, Kee, I think, um, maybe we shouldn't see each other for a while.
Yeah, you took the words right out of my mouth, sweetheart.
Bronwyn, another beautiful soul has taken her first breath.
Your briefcase has been handed into the police, doctor.
Oh.
Oh, right! Um, good.
Good, thank you.
Um, they're here actually.
They need to have a word.
Of course.
Hey.
Hey, everything okay with you? Great! Ebell's blood is still damp on the pavement, and the feds have put a team of forensic accountants in here.
They've frozen my assets! Froze your assets? You think Ebell was cooking the books? I don't know, but, man, this isn't a light physical they're giving me.
These guys are going rectal.
You think it's the IRS? I bet it's the IRS, Ben.
This is how they work.
Their only tactic is to create fear.
They're basically terrorists.
This is what I've been telling you.
Now you know what I've been through.
Do you need me for something? Um, yeah.
Um We can talk about it tonight.
Just Can you guys give me a ride over to Sam's? Sam's.
Oh, God.
Uh, yeah, I'll pick you up from your place.
Great.
I wouldn't come in today if I were you.
This is my personal phone.
Mine! What's happened, darling? They found the DVD.
What do you mean they found the DVD? It was in my briefcase when it was stolen.
What was it doing in your briefcase, for God's sake? I had to know where it was.
We have a perfectly good safe at home.
Becca has the combination.
Is she home? She's out with Julia.
We need to talk with her, Jan.
We have guests tonight.
What? It's Lizzie's birthday, remember? It's been on the calendar for months.
Jan, we can't have guests tonight.
I will not allow our lives to be uprooted by this silliness.
Silliness? Damn it, Kee! You think I told Scarlet about Mikki? I promised you, Kee, and I keep my damn promises.
You're unbelievable if you think I would betray your confidence.
It was just a question.
Well, don't ask again.
Do you know how much I don't need this crap right now? Testy.
I was dying to see her.
She's always so good.
Ah! But it was the weekend that Sam was speaking at N.
Y.
U.
Look at this guy.
And on that Saturday they were having a dinner in his honor.
It was that weekend, wasn't it, darling? Sam? Felix, calm down! - Sam! - Keeps licking.
Sorry, darling.
Cassandra Darvall's concert.
We were in New York, weren't we? No, Felix.
I, um I don't know.
Kee, Ben, can you help me select some wine? Help me with this guy.
Please, Felix.
Felix.
Here you go, I'm so sorry.
We're a long way from the wine cellar, so I hope that this is special.
Sam, what's wrong? You okay? I'm in a lot of trouble.
What is it, Sam? My briefcase was stolen.
It had something in it.
What? A DVD.
The police found it.
So it's, what, porn? Oh, God.
No.
It's not just porn.
It's, uh It's personal.
Is this a little in-house Sam and Jan production? It's okay.
It's not a crime, all right? There's nothing wrong with it.
Truth is, you were documenting an act of love.
Maddy and I made a series of comprehensive videos that Kee! Tell me that wasn't you and Jan.
Well, of course it was.
His mask fell off for, like, a minute.
It wasn't Jan.
It was Jan, Sam.
- The woman is wearing a mask.
- She was a prostitute.
No, it wasn't.
It's Jan.
I picked her up in west Hollywood.
Off the street? Yeah.
I don't know her name.
I paid her $500.
Sam, you don't get a hooker off the street to do something like this.
A three-way with a rottweiler requires a specialist.
It wasn't Jan, okay? If I have to go to jail, so be it.
But Becca can't lose us both.
Ben, come on.
She's your goddaughter.
It was a hooker.
Okay, if you say so.
It was a hooker.
But, as a case, this really isn't in my wheelhouse, Sam.
Whereas I'm not the authority on this.
What, and I am? Fine.
I got your back, Sam.
Metaphorically speaking.
I thought you were getting the wine.
Just, uh, having a chat.
Scarlet's here.
- Ah.
- We'll be eating in five.
So the wine! Of course, darling.
If it's telling you, I'm telling everybody! Did you know it? Felix! Felix! Sweetheart.
Sweetheart.
Aww.
Outseys! _ This "hero forgives his hooker" thing was a spike, it won't last.
Is that a soft bump, Glenn? It is, Kee.
But you know all about not lasting, don't you? I know a quick way through this.
This woman is a devoted wife - and loving mother of four kids.
- Three.
Three kids.
Politics is about values now.
That's right.
I mean, look at these two.
I could get you a senate seat in a heartbeat, Sam.
In a heartbeat.
You two were high school sweethearts, right? A long time ago.
You bring babies into this world.
You do.
You have a beautiful daughter of your own.
You're not a sleazy lawyer.
Whoa! Hey! You're a handsome doctor.
A caregiver.
You are the sort of man that this country wants.
Nay, needs! Excuse me.
Hey, daddy.
What's wrong? - Is he okay? - Great.
Can I see it? What? The DVD.
No.
No, no.
You must promise me that you'll never watch that DVD.
Well, they'll show it at the trial.
You are not attending any trial.
What? Darling, it can't possibly do any good.
So who is this other woman? I've been a little, uh, depressed lately, self-medicating.
Who's the other woman, daddy? Um A prostitute.
Darling, you can't let this distract you.
You're heading back to school next week.
.
There's the spring formal! So do you wanna come in for coffee? Of course I do.
Would you like me to come in? Look, Glenn, I get confused when you're around.
I don't want this to be complicated.
Okay.
Let's keep it simple then.
I've never met anyone who can replace you.
That was a lifetime ago.
Tell me about it.
- Did you want another juice? - Ah.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Good morning.
To what do we owe this pleasure? Hi, Kee.
Good morning! Come in.
Oh! You brought muffins.
- That's sweet.
- Thank you.
Hey, it's so beautiful out today.
Can we go to the beach and have lunch? How you doing with all this? Okay? Uh, good.
- You sure? - Yeah.
It's a lot for you to handle.
Actually it's pretty upsetting.
Is it? I'll bet.
Sam and Felix.
That is an image I do not need in my head.
He delivered me.
Listen, the man loves his dog.
I'm sure it's a misunderstanding.
What's up, Kee? You all right? You seem a little out of sorts.
No, no.
Not out of sorts at all.
Very much in sorts.
Thank you, Glenn.
Mm, mm.
Mmm! These are good.
You gotta try this.
- Hmm? - Mm.
- So good.
- Mmm.
Maddy, I was hoping to have a word.
If you've got something to say about Glenn and me, you can say it in front of her.
It's about my father.
Is he okay? All right.
Guys, can you give us a moment? - Is grandpa sick? - No, I'm sure he'll be fine.
Finn, you got any Japanese video games? No.
Come with me.
I gotta show you something.
They are seriously sick.
I was in Tokyo last year shooting for Is it bad? It's terrible.
How could you possibly be so naive? You just will not give up, will you? What is it about that woman? Just tell me.
You have such a blind spot for her, ever since we met, - when I rescued you from her clutches.
- Rescued me? You've made sensible decisions, Maddy.
- I married you.
- Great example.
- And I divorced you.
- Better yet.
That woman stalked you.
I cannot believe, after all these years, she's still pushes your buttons.
We found her in our bed in a crotchless Catwoman outfit.
And you thought it was Christmas.
She's not good for you.
Oh, and you are? Meow.
I think you better go.
You know, Mads, I still have that Catwoman outfit.
Every working mother worries about her family's safety.
I've spent my career fighting the criminals that threaten our families.
David Potter has spent his career with the IRS.
If you want a district attorney that knows how to make our streets safer and free from vices that threaten our kids, like drugs and prostitution, then make Scarlet Leon your next district attorney.
Okay, cut.
Thank you! Reset! All right, uh, now we're gonna do the version without Ben.
What version without Ben? Well, things with the firm, they could get a little messy.
You wanna do a version without me? Well, it might be wise.
Okay.
Just in case.
Yeah.
You're probably right.
- Wise call.
- Yes.
Why haven't you returned my phone calls? What are you doing here? I'm here because you haven't returned my phone calls.
I'm sorry, Roy, I've had rather a lot on my plate.
Leanne Do you know how close I was to being here legally? All I needed was a signature One little signature.
But the man who was supposed to sign off on my paperwork decided to throw himself off the top of this building rather than see me here legally.
And he must have taken it with him to purgatory because it's nowhere to be bloody found! I told Carlotta about you.
You did what? I had to.
The guilt was eating me up.
Are you crazy? What did she say? She kicked me out.
And now, I'm all yours.
And I think you should tell Bevan it would be wise for him to keep his ass in Scotland.
You thought last night was weird? Phew! Things just got a whole lot weirder.
Glenn spent the night with Maddy.
What do you think about that? I mean, I'm not anti-lesbian or gay, bi, tri, pi.
I could care less.
But this woman, who you dragged back in my life Hey! Are you even listening to me? Not really, Kee, no.
Well, it's kind of a thing.
I'm sure it is.
What's that? That would be the charges being leveled against the firm by the FBI, accompanied by supporting evidence.
What are you talking about, charges? I mean my father, in collaboration with Robert Ebell, laundered Mexican drug money through this firm for 15 years.
And there's a very good chance, since they're both dead, I'll be charged as an accomplice and held responsible.
Your dad laundered Mexican drug money? He busted our balls for smoking oregano down in the basement he's a hypocrite.
Forget him.
This is about me now, Kee.
Me in jail! Oh, please.
That's not gonna happen.
I'll handle this.
I'll make a call.
I'm getting Cal Crawford.
What are you talking about? Are you crazy? Cal Crawford? No, we keep this in the family.
Kee, my father was running an incredibly intricate web of corporate deceit for 15 years.
I need Cal Crawford.
You don't think I'm up to this? 'Cause I'll pull out all the stops.
I know you'd pull out all the stops, but I don't think you're up to this.
This is my life we're talking about, man.
Okay.
I gotta go.
Yeah.
Good luck with Sam.
You're probably right.
If it was me, I'd want the best too.
I believe issues like three strikes laws and mandatory minimum sentences are issues that our community needs to confront.
Mr.
Potter, if you were elected, would you seek to legalize prostitution? Look, prostitution may be the only thing occupying your mind right now, but I am actually concerned with making our streets safer.
From prostitutes? Like your fiancée? Do people like her pose a threat to the people of Los Angeles? Did she pay taxes on her earnings as a prostitute? And if not, does the IRS intend to prosecute her? God, I could barely get a word in.
You didn't need to.
All anyone's ever gonna think when they hear the name "David Potter" now is, the guy with the hooker.
You know, he's not a bad guy.
I mean, he doesn't deserve this.
Well, it's too late now.
Did you leak it? You really wanna know? Yes.
No.
Yes, yes.
It only took three calls, Scarlet.
It was gonna come out anyway.
Hi.
Hello.
Do you remember me? Oh.
Let's play it again.
Again? I think I'm gonna be sick.
I really can't handle this right now.
This DVD is their entire case, Leanne.
Well, it's a pretty convincing case, if you ask me.
How can he possibly be pleading not guilty? He's got a big reputation to protect.
He's actually a very nice man.
A loving pet owner.
You can be into this stuff and still be a loving father or husband or Doctor.
Back it up there.
I can't, I'm sorry.
I I have to go.
That's funny, I had the same reaction the first couple of dozen times I watched it.
But then it just doesn't even shock me anymore.
Maybe you should play it to the jury a few 100 times, add a little music.
By the end of the trial, they'll love it so much it'll be this year's breakout hit.
You know, you could have a point there.
What? Just play it.
Play it, play it, play it.
Play it till they don't care.
Play it until they're bored.
- Are you serious? - Yeah! Do I have to be there? Yeah.
Had I known it was gonna be like this, I wouldn't have come.
An election for D.
A.
That probably 2% of the county cares about, but you had an ex-prostitute, and you stir, and suddenly, there's something to write about.
I saw you talking to some guy in there.
Was that an old friend of yours? Uh, a friend of an old friend.
I met him at a dinner party about a year ago.
Were you working, or was it a social thing? I'm sorry.
I gotta take this.
Baby, I'm sorry.
Hi, Gloria.
Well, how do you think that went? They won't let it go.
All they want is blood.
I'm sending you a package, David.
What you decide to do with it is your business.
But if it helps inform your decision, I know who leaked the story on Mikhaela.
No comment! - Do you have a drinking problem? - No comment! Do you have a drinking problem? This election is about the safety of the citizens of this city.
Why do you vultures always focus on distractions? What about the reports emerging now that your husband's law firm has been laundering Mexican drug money? What? End of an era, Ben.
Thank God your father didn't live to see this.
Did you like my father, Cal? I didn't really know him.
Always found him charming.
Yep.
He was a charmer.
He was a real charmer.
That's what he'd do with juries Charm them.
That son of a bitch! That lying son of a bitch! All these years! I hated myself for hating him! But I was right, Cal! I had cause! I had cause.
This is some legacy, huh? You should take a second.
There'll be press out there.
Scarlet, I once got a guy elected to congress who had 15 kids with 7 different women.
He was from South Carolina, and he ran antiabortion.
Politics is all about context.
I did coke with Kee at college.
- So did I.
- So did I.
Who hasn't? The coke is nothing.
Even when your husband stands accused of being a money launderer for a Mexican drug cartel? That's trickier.
You could kick him out.
What? Just for a month or two.
And then the tearful reunion, blah, blah, blah.
Your cynicism terrifies me sometimes, it really does.
It's just a little bit of theater.
They'll lap it up.
The real issue is the D.
U.
I.
And how was that not recorded? Scar, did you make a call to a cop friend? 'Cause that would be perversion of justice, and that would be the ball game.
Kee made a call.
Who to? I honestly don't know.
Ladies, I cannot tell you that.
Yes, you can.
- Of course you can.
- No.
You're gonna tell us something, or you will not be a man when you leave this room.
Even if I did tell you, she would deny it.
- Oh, come on! - There was someone.
- And it was a she.
- She.
She.
- No, no! - She.
- So who's a she who could do that? - I misspoke.
Not me I'm not a she who could do that.
No, no, no, it has to be someone much higher up than A.
D.
A.
level.
Gloria Barzmann? Gloria Barzmann.
Gloria Barzmann! She told me she was having a revenge affair.
It was around that time.
Kee, was it you? No, no.
I'm don't be ridiculous.
Gloria Barzmann? No, no, no.
- It was Gloria Barzmann.
- It was Gloria.
- It was definitely - Oh! It wasn't Gloria.
They could subpoena her phone records.
Which would prove that I called her, and in doing so, make me an accomplice.
Come on, Red, I was trying to help you.
You gotta give us something, Kee.
I'm not giving you anything.
But I am handling Sam's case.
What about it? So who would have thought we'd both become stars on the same day? The Leon gang! Pretty cool, huh? Okay.
So it's the silent treatment then.
Fine! You didn't turn up to the debate.
You didn't call.
- I had the FBI up my ass.
- Yes.
I learned that from a pack of press monkeys today.
And why did I learn that Mikhaela was a hooker from the same damn monkeys? Kee must have told you, didn't he? Didn't he? I promised.
I'm your wife! So? What? You would've used it if I told you? That's not the point! It damn well is.
I wouldn't have used it, Ben! But I would like to think that you trusted me and that the decision to use it would've been one we would've made together.
You know, I didn't tell you stuff because I didn't want you to worry.
Thank you.
Hey! You will listen to me.
What do you have to say? I don't know if I know you anymore.
I don't know if you're pissed about me or us or the damn campaign.
I'm looking at prison.
You're looking at city hall, and I don't know how to reconcile that.
You know what I think? What? I think running for office is just another attempt to find whatever it is that's missing for you.
First it was yoga.
Then it was pottery.
Then it was therapy.
Then it was more therapy.
Then it was Bali with the kids.
Then it was Rio without the kids.
Then it was the recommitment ceremony.
And now it's running for D.
A.
Well, I'm not prepared to indulge you anymore, because we could travel the whole wide world, and you could become president, and you still won't talk to me about your damn life.
What the hell, Jan? What's he doing in here? Sit! Sit! He was so lonely outside.
We talked about this.
We agreed.
We promised we wouldn't My trial is starting.
He was crying.
He doesn't understand.
Come on, don't be so silly now.
Silly? Silly? This isn't silliness, Jan.
This is my life.
This is our life.
Darling, you can't go on like this.
How did we get to this place? I was a rhodes scholar.
I've brought thousands of children into this world.
But for the rest of my life, I'll be known for one thing and one thing only! No! I won't have that.
You are still a marvel of a man.
And whatever anybody says, you are the kindest, most decent, loving man in the entire universe! I'm thinking of telling Kee to change my plea to guilty.
No! A trial will only be worse for you and Becca.
You haven't done anything wrong.
We are gonna fight this thing, and you're gonna be acquitted.
Now get back into bed.
Come on.
Come on.
Oh, darling.
Ladies and gentlemen, this trial is about consent.
This trial is about justice, not just for my client but for his adoring, loving dog.
And that may seem humorous to some of you, but let me just Falcon's lawyer Keegan Deane held a press conference earlier today This had to be a huge shock to his wife.
Gives new meaning to "being in the doghouse.
You can see it in his eyes.
Well, Scarlet's out of the headlines.
He's creepy! Mads, you gotta see this.
If Felix could speak, he'd tell ya.
He loves his master.
Sometimes I totally get why you married that man.
Your Honor, may we run the DVD now in slow motion? Mr.
Deane, really? The jury's already watched this 13 times.
That's true, your Honor, but the jury has not watched it in slow motion, nor have they seen it frame by frame.
Frame by frame? Your Honor, it would be prejudicial to my client's defense if the jury was not intimately acquainted with the act for which he's accused.
Very well.
Frame 379, Leanne.
We're back, again in the boudoir.
And here's the unknown prostitute.
She sits on the bed naked, except for the mask that covers her face, as you can see here.
And shuttle forward a little bit.
Here comes Felix.
My goodness, he's happy to be there too, isn't he? Tail bobbing wildly, as you can see.
And his keenness to participate is clearly demonstrated right there, by a fully engorged freeze it! These little mittens that are covering his paws are obviously to protect the unknown prostitute from any scratching.
Play on.
This is the same version, obviously, in high-resolution vivid setting.
Go ahead.
Look at the lighting on Felix when you look at him in this high resolution.
Isn't that extraordinary? Next frame, please.
Frame 97,122.
As you can see again, Felix, tail wagging.
Almost seems to be smiling, enjoying the act in the loving embraces of both master and unknown prostitute.
- Next frame.
- Your Honor.
All these references to an unknown prostitute? Excuse me? Your Honor, may we approach? Keegan, what's going on here? We all know this "unknown prostitute" is Mrs.
Falcon.
I'm not acting for Mrs.
Falcon.
When I get your client in the box, I'm going to ask him about her.
And if he's lying, Keegan, we'll charge him with perjury as well.
My client and his wife want their daughter Rebecca to live a long and happy life.
Girl needs her mother.
Come on, guys.
Give the kid a break.
We have a series of affidavits from several employees at Leon & Associates stating you, Mr.
Leon, constantly asserted the fact that it was your firm And that you were in control.
My client respectfully pleads the fifth amendment and will decline to answer that.
No, I do not decline to answer that question, Cal.
This thing has to end.
I did try to assert control of the firm, and I failed dismally.
Any loyalty the bastards who worked there had was to my father, who was bastard-in-chief.
To me, they showed nothing but contempt, especially after my father died.
Now what I know is that you guys don't have a single incriminating document with my signature, nor any emails from or to me regarding these crimes.
And we all know these cases are all about paper trails.
You got nothing.
So charge me now, or be prepared for the mother of all lawsuits.
'Cause you know that's where Cal here will shine.
Dr.
Vaughan is a professional animal psychologist.
Do you believe that the life of an animal equates to the life of a human being? We are all animals, Mr.
Deane.
I have no doubt you're all animal.
Pardon? Do you believe that the value of a sheep or a rat or a dog is of similar value to that of a human life? See, I believe we have erred in creating classes of people, classes of animals.
Think a dog should be allowed to drive a car or vote? You're being ridiculous, Mr.
Deane.
I don't think a dog should be forced to have sex against his or her will.
Let's watch that DVD again.
We'd like you to take a look at this and tell me the moment or moments where Felix is being coerced or forced or even encouraged.
Play it! So where did you pick up this prostitute, Dr.
Falcon? I rang a brothel and asked for a girl who, uh Specialized in that sort of thing.
I see, and, uh, how much exactly did you pay for this specialization? Um th uh, three Dr.
Falcon, how much did you pay for this prostitute? I I just Dr.
Falcon, how much did you pay Your Honor, do we really need to know the financial details of this transaction? I don't think this is relevant.
I tend to agree, Mr.
Deane.
Is the prosecution about all wrapped up? Your Honor No further questions.
David, no.
This cannot go on, okay? If you want me on the campaign, fine, I'm gonna do it.
But you cannot keep asking me if I have slept with every second guy we talk to.
- It cannot go on.
- You're right, it can't.
I hate to say this, but you don't need me to win this, you know.
None of this is what it should be.
What is it with politics? Scarlet is a good woman, I'm a good man, and within a month, we are reduced to monkeys throwing crap at each other.
But, be that as it may, Mikhaela, there's one question that I have to ask you.
What? It's eating away inside of me, and I just It's about your cousin Angus.
- What about him? - Is he a real person? I What David, I don't understand.
Is he a real person, or is he someone that you invented to cover up the fact that one of your clients was Keegan Deane? Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! David! Prosecution keeps talking about cruelty and consent.
Consent.
Does a horse consent to being ridden around a track and beaten on the backside? Do rabbits consent to being tested for something Lebron James is gonna stick under his armpits? No.
own at least one dog, and last year they cooked up 27 billion pounds of beef.
And that was all carved right off the backside of How about that? The hypocrisy is devastating, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm gonna ask you, how many of you own a dog but love a t-bone? Come on.
Huh? We find the defendant not guilty.
Yes! Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, thank you very much for your service.
The city of Los Angeles thanks you.
Dr.
Falcon, you are free to go.
Case is closed.
With a record low 7% turnout, David Potter has been elected L.
A.
's next district attorney.
Potter has yet to make a statement, but Mayor Gloria Barzmann says she's delighted by the city's choice.
And now the weather.
Claudette.
Okay, okay, okay.
My condolences on your defeat.
And my apologies.
Why are you apologizing? I didn't vote.
Yeah, well, neither did 95% of the city.
Why did I think this was gonna make me happy? Did you really get into politics to find happiness, Scarlet? When was the last time you were happy? And I'm not talking about births and marriages.
I'm talking about, like, when you as a person were consistently happy.
Mm, I don't know, last year of law school.
Since then, it's been all survival.
Growing up sucks.
Mm.
Have you grown up, really? I remember you your last year of law school.
I remember you.
It was your first year.
Yeah, you were the shining star.
Oh, you burned so bright.
And you were locked in my orbit.
Trapped more than locked, I seem to recall.
I was so stupidly in love with you.
I'm not gonna wait for you You know, we never had a single date.
It was just sex.
You ever regret that? No.
One of the advantages of never growing up.
To Peter Pan.
To Wendy.
I should go.
I'm so sorry.
I love you so much.
I'm so sorry.
It's not your fault, darling.
Shh.
I love you too, more than words could ever express.
Hey, baby.
It's me.
You okay? I know you must be disappointed, and I'm sorry.
I've been distracted recently.
But you know what I think? I think this is a new beginning for us.
And I don't think that's a bad thing right now.
Sync & Corrections by Darcade
U.
I.
I think Scarlet has this one in the bag, doesn't she? I hope to become your next district attorney! You want a coked-out, self-absorbed pathological liar running your campaign, be my guest.
Are we even sure that Glenn's available? Oh, I'm sure Glenn is available for you, sweetheart.
Well, what about the fiancée? What's her deal? Your Mikki is his Mikhaela? He's marrying an ex-prostitute.
How does a client account that's supposed to have at least $300,000 in it wind up that far in the red? I'm taking this matter to the police.
- Robert? - Oh, boy.
- before you do.
- Let's make it 1,000, bitch.
- Hi, Dr.
Falcon! - Hey, Alice.
- How are you? - Good, good.
Did Becca and Mrs.
Falcon have a nice vacation in Hawaii? They had a great time.
Thanks.
Oh.
Okay, it's $87.
98.
Is something wrong? My briefcase.
Where's my briefcase? Just tell me the damn truth.
It is such a simple question, Keegan.
If you choose not to answer this, you have to realize there is no future for us.
What future are you possibly contemplating, Mikki? We're done.
I'm sick and tired of you coming over here like some low-rent Holly Golightly to tell me when and when we can't be friends, asking for favors.
I just need to know who I can trust right now, okay? Please just answer the question.
Did you tell Scarlet about my past? No.
I didn't tell Scarlet about your past.
Okay.
Hey, um, Kee, I think, um, maybe we shouldn't see each other for a while.
Yeah, you took the words right out of my mouth, sweetheart.
Bronwyn, another beautiful soul has taken her first breath.
Your briefcase has been handed into the police, doctor.
Oh.
Oh, right! Um, good.
Good, thank you.
Um, they're here actually.
They need to have a word.
Of course.
Hey.
Hey, everything okay with you? Great! Ebell's blood is still damp on the pavement, and the feds have put a team of forensic accountants in here.
They've frozen my assets! Froze your assets? You think Ebell was cooking the books? I don't know, but, man, this isn't a light physical they're giving me.
These guys are going rectal.
You think it's the IRS? I bet it's the IRS, Ben.
This is how they work.
Their only tactic is to create fear.
They're basically terrorists.
This is what I've been telling you.
Now you know what I've been through.
Do you need me for something? Um, yeah.
Um We can talk about it tonight.
Just Can you guys give me a ride over to Sam's? Sam's.
Oh, God.
Uh, yeah, I'll pick you up from your place.
Great.
I wouldn't come in today if I were you.
This is my personal phone.
Mine! What's happened, darling? They found the DVD.
What do you mean they found the DVD? It was in my briefcase when it was stolen.
What was it doing in your briefcase, for God's sake? I had to know where it was.
We have a perfectly good safe at home.
Becca has the combination.
Is she home? She's out with Julia.
We need to talk with her, Jan.
We have guests tonight.
What? It's Lizzie's birthday, remember? It's been on the calendar for months.
Jan, we can't have guests tonight.
I will not allow our lives to be uprooted by this silliness.
Silliness? Damn it, Kee! You think I told Scarlet about Mikki? I promised you, Kee, and I keep my damn promises.
You're unbelievable if you think I would betray your confidence.
It was just a question.
Well, don't ask again.
Do you know how much I don't need this crap right now? Testy.
I was dying to see her.
She's always so good.
Ah! But it was the weekend that Sam was speaking at N.
Y.
U.
Look at this guy.
And on that Saturday they were having a dinner in his honor.
It was that weekend, wasn't it, darling? Sam? Felix, calm down! - Sam! - Keeps licking.
Sorry, darling.
Cassandra Darvall's concert.
We were in New York, weren't we? No, Felix.
I, um I don't know.
Kee, Ben, can you help me select some wine? Help me with this guy.
Please, Felix.
Felix.
Here you go, I'm so sorry.
We're a long way from the wine cellar, so I hope that this is special.
Sam, what's wrong? You okay? I'm in a lot of trouble.
What is it, Sam? My briefcase was stolen.
It had something in it.
What? A DVD.
The police found it.
So it's, what, porn? Oh, God.
No.
It's not just porn.
It's, uh It's personal.
Is this a little in-house Sam and Jan production? It's okay.
It's not a crime, all right? There's nothing wrong with it.
Truth is, you were documenting an act of love.
Maddy and I made a series of comprehensive videos that Kee! Tell me that wasn't you and Jan.
Well, of course it was.
His mask fell off for, like, a minute.
It wasn't Jan.
It was Jan, Sam.
- The woman is wearing a mask.
- She was a prostitute.
No, it wasn't.
It's Jan.
I picked her up in west Hollywood.
Off the street? Yeah.
I don't know her name.
I paid her $500.
Sam, you don't get a hooker off the street to do something like this.
A three-way with a rottweiler requires a specialist.
It wasn't Jan, okay? If I have to go to jail, so be it.
But Becca can't lose us both.
Ben, come on.
She's your goddaughter.
It was a hooker.
Okay, if you say so.
It was a hooker.
But, as a case, this really isn't in my wheelhouse, Sam.
Whereas I'm not the authority on this.
What, and I am? Fine.
I got your back, Sam.
Metaphorically speaking.
I thought you were getting the wine.
Just, uh, having a chat.
Scarlet's here.
- Ah.
- We'll be eating in five.
So the wine! Of course, darling.
If it's telling you, I'm telling everybody! Did you know it? Felix! Felix! Sweetheart.
Sweetheart.
Aww.
Outseys! _ This "hero forgives his hooker" thing was a spike, it won't last.
Is that a soft bump, Glenn? It is, Kee.
But you know all about not lasting, don't you? I know a quick way through this.
This woman is a devoted wife - and loving mother of four kids.
- Three.
Three kids.
Politics is about values now.
That's right.
I mean, look at these two.
I could get you a senate seat in a heartbeat, Sam.
In a heartbeat.
You two were high school sweethearts, right? A long time ago.
You bring babies into this world.
You do.
You have a beautiful daughter of your own.
You're not a sleazy lawyer.
Whoa! Hey! You're a handsome doctor.
A caregiver.
You are the sort of man that this country wants.
Nay, needs! Excuse me.
Hey, daddy.
What's wrong? - Is he okay? - Great.
Can I see it? What? The DVD.
No.
No, no.
You must promise me that you'll never watch that DVD.
Well, they'll show it at the trial.
You are not attending any trial.
What? Darling, it can't possibly do any good.
So who is this other woman? I've been a little, uh, depressed lately, self-medicating.
Who's the other woman, daddy? Um A prostitute.
Darling, you can't let this distract you.
You're heading back to school next week.
.
There's the spring formal! So do you wanna come in for coffee? Of course I do.
Would you like me to come in? Look, Glenn, I get confused when you're around.
I don't want this to be complicated.
Okay.
Let's keep it simple then.
I've never met anyone who can replace you.
That was a lifetime ago.
Tell me about it.
- Did you want another juice? - Ah.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Good morning.
To what do we owe this pleasure? Hi, Kee.
Good morning! Come in.
Oh! You brought muffins.
- That's sweet.
- Thank you.
Hey, it's so beautiful out today.
Can we go to the beach and have lunch? How you doing with all this? Okay? Uh, good.
- You sure? - Yeah.
It's a lot for you to handle.
Actually it's pretty upsetting.
Is it? I'll bet.
Sam and Felix.
That is an image I do not need in my head.
He delivered me.
Listen, the man loves his dog.
I'm sure it's a misunderstanding.
What's up, Kee? You all right? You seem a little out of sorts.
No, no.
Not out of sorts at all.
Very much in sorts.
Thank you, Glenn.
Mm, mm.
Mmm! These are good.
You gotta try this.
- Hmm? - Mm.
- So good.
- Mmm.
Maddy, I was hoping to have a word.
If you've got something to say about Glenn and me, you can say it in front of her.
It's about my father.
Is he okay? All right.
Guys, can you give us a moment? - Is grandpa sick? - No, I'm sure he'll be fine.
Finn, you got any Japanese video games? No.
Come with me.
I gotta show you something.
They are seriously sick.
I was in Tokyo last year shooting for Is it bad? It's terrible.
How could you possibly be so naive? You just will not give up, will you? What is it about that woman? Just tell me.
You have such a blind spot for her, ever since we met, - when I rescued you from her clutches.
- Rescued me? You've made sensible decisions, Maddy.
- I married you.
- Great example.
- And I divorced you.
- Better yet.
That woman stalked you.
I cannot believe, after all these years, she's still pushes your buttons.
We found her in our bed in a crotchless Catwoman outfit.
And you thought it was Christmas.
She's not good for you.
Oh, and you are? Meow.
I think you better go.
You know, Mads, I still have that Catwoman outfit.
Every working mother worries about her family's safety.
I've spent my career fighting the criminals that threaten our families.
David Potter has spent his career with the IRS.
If you want a district attorney that knows how to make our streets safer and free from vices that threaten our kids, like drugs and prostitution, then make Scarlet Leon your next district attorney.
Okay, cut.
Thank you! Reset! All right, uh, now we're gonna do the version without Ben.
What version without Ben? Well, things with the firm, they could get a little messy.
You wanna do a version without me? Well, it might be wise.
Okay.
Just in case.
Yeah.
You're probably right.
- Wise call.
- Yes.
Why haven't you returned my phone calls? What are you doing here? I'm here because you haven't returned my phone calls.
I'm sorry, Roy, I've had rather a lot on my plate.
Leanne Do you know how close I was to being here legally? All I needed was a signature One little signature.
But the man who was supposed to sign off on my paperwork decided to throw himself off the top of this building rather than see me here legally.
And he must have taken it with him to purgatory because it's nowhere to be bloody found! I told Carlotta about you.
You did what? I had to.
The guilt was eating me up.
Are you crazy? What did she say? She kicked me out.
And now, I'm all yours.
And I think you should tell Bevan it would be wise for him to keep his ass in Scotland.
You thought last night was weird? Phew! Things just got a whole lot weirder.
Glenn spent the night with Maddy.
What do you think about that? I mean, I'm not anti-lesbian or gay, bi, tri, pi.
I could care less.
But this woman, who you dragged back in my life Hey! Are you even listening to me? Not really, Kee, no.
Well, it's kind of a thing.
I'm sure it is.
What's that? That would be the charges being leveled against the firm by the FBI, accompanied by supporting evidence.
What are you talking about, charges? I mean my father, in collaboration with Robert Ebell, laundered Mexican drug money through this firm for 15 years.
And there's a very good chance, since they're both dead, I'll be charged as an accomplice and held responsible.
Your dad laundered Mexican drug money? He busted our balls for smoking oregano down in the basement he's a hypocrite.
Forget him.
This is about me now, Kee.
Me in jail! Oh, please.
That's not gonna happen.
I'll handle this.
I'll make a call.
I'm getting Cal Crawford.
What are you talking about? Are you crazy? Cal Crawford? No, we keep this in the family.
Kee, my father was running an incredibly intricate web of corporate deceit for 15 years.
I need Cal Crawford.
You don't think I'm up to this? 'Cause I'll pull out all the stops.
I know you'd pull out all the stops, but I don't think you're up to this.
This is my life we're talking about, man.
Okay.
I gotta go.
Yeah.
Good luck with Sam.
You're probably right.
If it was me, I'd want the best too.
I believe issues like three strikes laws and mandatory minimum sentences are issues that our community needs to confront.
Mr.
Potter, if you were elected, would you seek to legalize prostitution? Look, prostitution may be the only thing occupying your mind right now, but I am actually concerned with making our streets safer.
From prostitutes? Like your fiancée? Do people like her pose a threat to the people of Los Angeles? Did she pay taxes on her earnings as a prostitute? And if not, does the IRS intend to prosecute her? God, I could barely get a word in.
You didn't need to.
All anyone's ever gonna think when they hear the name "David Potter" now is, the guy with the hooker.
You know, he's not a bad guy.
I mean, he doesn't deserve this.
Well, it's too late now.
Did you leak it? You really wanna know? Yes.
No.
Yes, yes.
It only took three calls, Scarlet.
It was gonna come out anyway.
Hi.
Hello.
Do you remember me? Oh.
Let's play it again.
Again? I think I'm gonna be sick.
I really can't handle this right now.
This DVD is their entire case, Leanne.
Well, it's a pretty convincing case, if you ask me.
How can he possibly be pleading not guilty? He's got a big reputation to protect.
He's actually a very nice man.
A loving pet owner.
You can be into this stuff and still be a loving father or husband or Doctor.
Back it up there.
I can't, I'm sorry.
I I have to go.
That's funny, I had the same reaction the first couple of dozen times I watched it.
But then it just doesn't even shock me anymore.
Maybe you should play it to the jury a few 100 times, add a little music.
By the end of the trial, they'll love it so much it'll be this year's breakout hit.
You know, you could have a point there.
What? Just play it.
Play it, play it, play it.
Play it till they don't care.
Play it until they're bored.
- Are you serious? - Yeah! Do I have to be there? Yeah.
Had I known it was gonna be like this, I wouldn't have come.
An election for D.
A.
That probably 2% of the county cares about, but you had an ex-prostitute, and you stir, and suddenly, there's something to write about.
I saw you talking to some guy in there.
Was that an old friend of yours? Uh, a friend of an old friend.
I met him at a dinner party about a year ago.
Were you working, or was it a social thing? I'm sorry.
I gotta take this.
Baby, I'm sorry.
Hi, Gloria.
Well, how do you think that went? They won't let it go.
All they want is blood.
I'm sending you a package, David.
What you decide to do with it is your business.
But if it helps inform your decision, I know who leaked the story on Mikhaela.
No comment! - Do you have a drinking problem? - No comment! Do you have a drinking problem? This election is about the safety of the citizens of this city.
Why do you vultures always focus on distractions? What about the reports emerging now that your husband's law firm has been laundering Mexican drug money? What? End of an era, Ben.
Thank God your father didn't live to see this.
Did you like my father, Cal? I didn't really know him.
Always found him charming.
Yep.
He was a charmer.
He was a real charmer.
That's what he'd do with juries Charm them.
That son of a bitch! That lying son of a bitch! All these years! I hated myself for hating him! But I was right, Cal! I had cause! I had cause.
This is some legacy, huh? You should take a second.
There'll be press out there.
Scarlet, I once got a guy elected to congress who had 15 kids with 7 different women.
He was from South Carolina, and he ran antiabortion.
Politics is all about context.
I did coke with Kee at college.
- So did I.
- So did I.
Who hasn't? The coke is nothing.
Even when your husband stands accused of being a money launderer for a Mexican drug cartel? That's trickier.
You could kick him out.
What? Just for a month or two.
And then the tearful reunion, blah, blah, blah.
Your cynicism terrifies me sometimes, it really does.
It's just a little bit of theater.
They'll lap it up.
The real issue is the D.
U.
I.
And how was that not recorded? Scar, did you make a call to a cop friend? 'Cause that would be perversion of justice, and that would be the ball game.
Kee made a call.
Who to? I honestly don't know.
Ladies, I cannot tell you that.
Yes, you can.
- Of course you can.
- No.
You're gonna tell us something, or you will not be a man when you leave this room.
Even if I did tell you, she would deny it.
- Oh, come on! - There was someone.
- And it was a she.
- She.
She.
- No, no! - She.
- So who's a she who could do that? - I misspoke.
Not me I'm not a she who could do that.
No, no, no, it has to be someone much higher up than A.
D.
A.
level.
Gloria Barzmann? Gloria Barzmann.
Gloria Barzmann! She told me she was having a revenge affair.
It was around that time.
Kee, was it you? No, no.
I'm don't be ridiculous.
Gloria Barzmann? No, no, no.
- It was Gloria Barzmann.
- It was Gloria.
- It was definitely - Oh! It wasn't Gloria.
They could subpoena her phone records.
Which would prove that I called her, and in doing so, make me an accomplice.
Come on, Red, I was trying to help you.
You gotta give us something, Kee.
I'm not giving you anything.
But I am handling Sam's case.
What about it? So who would have thought we'd both become stars on the same day? The Leon gang! Pretty cool, huh? Okay.
So it's the silent treatment then.
Fine! You didn't turn up to the debate.
You didn't call.
- I had the FBI up my ass.
- Yes.
I learned that from a pack of press monkeys today.
And why did I learn that Mikhaela was a hooker from the same damn monkeys? Kee must have told you, didn't he? Didn't he? I promised.
I'm your wife! So? What? You would've used it if I told you? That's not the point! It damn well is.
I wouldn't have used it, Ben! But I would like to think that you trusted me and that the decision to use it would've been one we would've made together.
You know, I didn't tell you stuff because I didn't want you to worry.
Thank you.
Hey! You will listen to me.
What do you have to say? I don't know if I know you anymore.
I don't know if you're pissed about me or us or the damn campaign.
I'm looking at prison.
You're looking at city hall, and I don't know how to reconcile that.
You know what I think? What? I think running for office is just another attempt to find whatever it is that's missing for you.
First it was yoga.
Then it was pottery.
Then it was therapy.
Then it was more therapy.
Then it was Bali with the kids.
Then it was Rio without the kids.
Then it was the recommitment ceremony.
And now it's running for D.
A.
Well, I'm not prepared to indulge you anymore, because we could travel the whole wide world, and you could become president, and you still won't talk to me about your damn life.
What the hell, Jan? What's he doing in here? Sit! Sit! He was so lonely outside.
We talked about this.
We agreed.
We promised we wouldn't My trial is starting.
He was crying.
He doesn't understand.
Come on, don't be so silly now.
Silly? Silly? This isn't silliness, Jan.
This is my life.
This is our life.
Darling, you can't go on like this.
How did we get to this place? I was a rhodes scholar.
I've brought thousands of children into this world.
But for the rest of my life, I'll be known for one thing and one thing only! No! I won't have that.
You are still a marvel of a man.
And whatever anybody says, you are the kindest, most decent, loving man in the entire universe! I'm thinking of telling Kee to change my plea to guilty.
No! A trial will only be worse for you and Becca.
You haven't done anything wrong.
We are gonna fight this thing, and you're gonna be acquitted.
Now get back into bed.
Come on.
Come on.
Oh, darling.
Ladies and gentlemen, this trial is about consent.
This trial is about justice, not just for my client but for his adoring, loving dog.
And that may seem humorous to some of you, but let me just Falcon's lawyer Keegan Deane held a press conference earlier today This had to be a huge shock to his wife.
Gives new meaning to "being in the doghouse.
You can see it in his eyes.
Well, Scarlet's out of the headlines.
He's creepy! Mads, you gotta see this.
If Felix could speak, he'd tell ya.
He loves his master.
Sometimes I totally get why you married that man.
Your Honor, may we run the DVD now in slow motion? Mr.
Deane, really? The jury's already watched this 13 times.
That's true, your Honor, but the jury has not watched it in slow motion, nor have they seen it frame by frame.
Frame by frame? Your Honor, it would be prejudicial to my client's defense if the jury was not intimately acquainted with the act for which he's accused.
Very well.
Frame 379, Leanne.
We're back, again in the boudoir.
And here's the unknown prostitute.
She sits on the bed naked, except for the mask that covers her face, as you can see here.
And shuttle forward a little bit.
Here comes Felix.
My goodness, he's happy to be there too, isn't he? Tail bobbing wildly, as you can see.
And his keenness to participate is clearly demonstrated right there, by a fully engorged freeze it! These little mittens that are covering his paws are obviously to protect the unknown prostitute from any scratching.
Play on.
This is the same version, obviously, in high-resolution vivid setting.
Go ahead.
Look at the lighting on Felix when you look at him in this high resolution.
Isn't that extraordinary? Next frame, please.
Frame 97,122.
As you can see again, Felix, tail wagging.
Almost seems to be smiling, enjoying the act in the loving embraces of both master and unknown prostitute.
- Next frame.
- Your Honor.
All these references to an unknown prostitute? Excuse me? Your Honor, may we approach? Keegan, what's going on here? We all know this "unknown prostitute" is Mrs.
Falcon.
I'm not acting for Mrs.
Falcon.
When I get your client in the box, I'm going to ask him about her.
And if he's lying, Keegan, we'll charge him with perjury as well.
My client and his wife want their daughter Rebecca to live a long and happy life.
Girl needs her mother.
Come on, guys.
Give the kid a break.
We have a series of affidavits from several employees at Leon & Associates stating you, Mr.
Leon, constantly asserted the fact that it was your firm And that you were in control.
My client respectfully pleads the fifth amendment and will decline to answer that.
No, I do not decline to answer that question, Cal.
This thing has to end.
I did try to assert control of the firm, and I failed dismally.
Any loyalty the bastards who worked there had was to my father, who was bastard-in-chief.
To me, they showed nothing but contempt, especially after my father died.
Now what I know is that you guys don't have a single incriminating document with my signature, nor any emails from or to me regarding these crimes.
And we all know these cases are all about paper trails.
You got nothing.
So charge me now, or be prepared for the mother of all lawsuits.
'Cause you know that's where Cal here will shine.
Dr.
Vaughan is a professional animal psychologist.
Do you believe that the life of an animal equates to the life of a human being? We are all animals, Mr.
Deane.
I have no doubt you're all animal.
Pardon? Do you believe that the value of a sheep or a rat or a dog is of similar value to that of a human life? See, I believe we have erred in creating classes of people, classes of animals.
Think a dog should be allowed to drive a car or vote? You're being ridiculous, Mr.
Deane.
I don't think a dog should be forced to have sex against his or her will.
Let's watch that DVD again.
We'd like you to take a look at this and tell me the moment or moments where Felix is being coerced or forced or even encouraged.
Play it! So where did you pick up this prostitute, Dr.
Falcon? I rang a brothel and asked for a girl who, uh Specialized in that sort of thing.
I see, and, uh, how much exactly did you pay for this specialization? Um th uh, three Dr.
Falcon, how much did you pay for this prostitute? I I just Dr.
Falcon, how much did you pay Your Honor, do we really need to know the financial details of this transaction? I don't think this is relevant.
I tend to agree, Mr.
Deane.
Is the prosecution about all wrapped up? Your Honor No further questions.
David, no.
This cannot go on, okay? If you want me on the campaign, fine, I'm gonna do it.
But you cannot keep asking me if I have slept with every second guy we talk to.
- It cannot go on.
- You're right, it can't.
I hate to say this, but you don't need me to win this, you know.
None of this is what it should be.
What is it with politics? Scarlet is a good woman, I'm a good man, and within a month, we are reduced to monkeys throwing crap at each other.
But, be that as it may, Mikhaela, there's one question that I have to ask you.
What? It's eating away inside of me, and I just It's about your cousin Angus.
- What about him? - Is he a real person? I What David, I don't understand.
Is he a real person, or is he someone that you invented to cover up the fact that one of your clients was Keegan Deane? Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! David! Prosecution keeps talking about cruelty and consent.
Consent.
Does a horse consent to being ridden around a track and beaten on the backside? Do rabbits consent to being tested for something Lebron James is gonna stick under his armpits? No.
own at least one dog, and last year they cooked up 27 billion pounds of beef.
And that was all carved right off the backside of How about that? The hypocrisy is devastating, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm gonna ask you, how many of you own a dog but love a t-bone? Come on.
Huh? We find the defendant not guilty.
Yes! Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, thank you very much for your service.
The city of Los Angeles thanks you.
Dr.
Falcon, you are free to go.
Case is closed.
With a record low 7% turnout, David Potter has been elected L.
A.
's next district attorney.
Potter has yet to make a statement, but Mayor Gloria Barzmann says she's delighted by the city's choice.
And now the weather.
Claudette.
Okay, okay, okay.
My condolences on your defeat.
And my apologies.
Why are you apologizing? I didn't vote.
Yeah, well, neither did 95% of the city.
Why did I think this was gonna make me happy? Did you really get into politics to find happiness, Scarlet? When was the last time you were happy? And I'm not talking about births and marriages.
I'm talking about, like, when you as a person were consistently happy.
Mm, I don't know, last year of law school.
Since then, it's been all survival.
Growing up sucks.
Mm.
Have you grown up, really? I remember you your last year of law school.
I remember you.
It was your first year.
Yeah, you were the shining star.
Oh, you burned so bright.
And you were locked in my orbit.
Trapped more than locked, I seem to recall.
I was so stupidly in love with you.
I'm not gonna wait for you You know, we never had a single date.
It was just sex.
You ever regret that? No.
One of the advantages of never growing up.
To Peter Pan.
To Wendy.
I should go.
I'm so sorry.
I love you so much.
I'm so sorry.
It's not your fault, darling.
Shh.
I love you too, more than words could ever express.
Hey, baby.
It's me.
You okay? I know you must be disappointed, and I'm sorry.
I've been distracted recently.
But you know what I think? I think this is a new beginning for us.
And I don't think that's a bad thing right now.
Sync & Corrections by Darcade