Relic Hunter s01e12 Episode Script

Get the sarcophagus.
And we need her necklace.
Got it.
Titans, we've got it.
Go.
Let's go.
Three, two, one, let's go.
T-l-t-a-n-s.
Titans, titans, you're the best! Titans, titans, better than the rest! Go titans! Three, two, one, let's go.
T-l-t-a-n-s.
Titans, titans, you're the best! Titans, titans, better than the rest! Go titans! - Uncle, what are you doing here? - I must speak with you.
- It's just football, uncle.
- Violent.
You wanted to speak with me? There is a professor sydney fox at your university? - Yes now? - I must speak with her now.
- When's your birthday, nigel? - May 10th.
Why? Taurus.
And you're perfect love match is a scorpio.
You don't really believe that.
I mean, there is no scientific basis.
Love isn't science, nigel.
I am through with that kind of guy.
Am i clear? - Very clear.
- As a bell.
I need something different.
Something more sensitive, more intellectual not so cocky and so sure of themselves.
Not hung up on everything i'm hung up with.
I need a real man.
- What? - Sydney's a scorpio.
Oh don't be ridiculous.
Violent.
My uncle got that off the internet.
It's from a small paper in alaska.
He was a professor of antiquities in beijing but he's been living with my parents in connecticut and spends most of his time surfing the web.
It's jade found a hundred miles southwest of anchorage but my uncle believes that it was carved in china over 3000 years ago part of the sarcophagus of the empress xia.
What's a sarcophagus from china doing in alaska? Look at the work, the same detail.
It is unmistakable.
The legend goes that the emperor carved the sarcophagus himself out of white jade and sealed it with an l-ching hexagram so that the body and necklace would never be disturbed.
Necklace? The centrepiece is said to be made of dragons tooth.
Bandits after the neck was raided the funeral and stole the sarcophagus.
That's why the empress was never laid to rest.
The sarcophagus was never seen again.
What does this say? "The well will bring you to water and happiness" the emperor's blessing on his wife's casket.
Well? The well is forty-eighth l-ching.
Might have something to do with the hexagram on the sarcophagus.
Why don't you write that down? We might need that later.
If the well can be found, he wants to return to it to it's proper place.
I put my heart in your hands.
The huang river flows into the yellow sea and then into the east china sea which meets the pacific ocean.
Over 3000 miles from alaska.
The only possible way for an ancient vessel to wind up here was for it to be thrown off course and cast adrift by a storm.
A big storm.
What are the chances of finding a double non-fat latte? Who would live in a place like this? Dropouts, misfits, people with no last names.
Ah, i'm looking for richard ferguson.
What can i do for you? You're richard ferguson, the newspaper editor? And mortician.
Which one of me you looking for? Aarh, my name is sydney fox.
I am a professor of ancient civilisations.
I was fascinated by this article that you wrote.
Yeah.
Well, i've been editing this little piece of crap weekly for about ten years.
I never got as much interest as i have with this.
Yeah? Aarh, what exactly do you mean by, "as much interest?" I mean, you two aren't the only ones to be poking around about that hunk of jade.
- Who else was here? - Still is.
What took you so long? Dallas.
- Dallas? - Dallas carter.
Been going through the local archives.
What do you say we work this one together? I don't think so.
Oh, come on, syd.
Let's not start off on a bad note.
We could be so good together.
- We were never good together, dallas.
- Oh yes, we were.
- No, we weren't.
- What would you call it, then? - A neurotic attachment.
- You think? - I know.
- You are so beautiful.
- My taste in men has matured.
- Now, that's a damn shame.
Mr ferguson, can we talk? - You are one lucky guy, my friend.
- Oh, no, no, i'm just her assistant.
- Yeah.
Look i got to tell you something, eh - nigel.
- Nigel? No kidding.
Really? - It's english.
Ah, listen.
Her attraction to you is understandable.
You see, she's rebelling.
But look at her.
Go on.
She loves the hunt.
Me? I'm a hunter.
You aren't.
I'd really like to meet the man that found this artefact.
What ever he offered you, i'm sure my party will beat his price.
Yeah? I don't believe it.
Reiner.
I was hoping we would work together again.
Hey.
Line forms right behind me, amigo.
- Does that outfit come with a whip? - I don't need no whip, pal.
Who are you? I'm the guy she stood you up for in marrakech.
The media monkey.
This is exactly why of swarm of men like them.
- Whatever they offered, i'll double it.
- I'll triple it.
We're out of here.
- Where are we going? - To find our information elsewhere.
Now i know about reiner, of course, but this dallas, he was another a different time, a different place.
My needs and desires have changed since then, i assure you.
Um we're going to need some supplies.
Why don't you stock us up? I'm going to talk to some of the locals.
The shopkeeper might have heard something about the artefact, too.
Why don't you see what you can find out? Okay.
Excuse me.
What do you need? - Um, camping equipment.
- Hmm, where are you headed? Oh i well, i was um i was hoping you could tell me i was looking for that local trapper, the one who found the jade artefact.
- Duncan.
- Is that his last name? As far as i know, he doesn't have a last name.
So um do you know this duncan? Well, he comes into town once or twice a year to buy supplies.
Last week, he came in with that chunk of jade.
You know the days here aren't so bad, but at night it gets really cold.
You're going to need something to keep you warm.
Got long john's? Oh no, actually, i haven't.
Do you happen to know where i could find this ah, duncan? Sure you want to? He's bushed, and around these parts, that means he's as nutty as an eat more.
Twelve months in the woods, no one to talk to, and no one to talk back.
The should be big enough.
You can try them on over here.
I'll try not to look.
Do you have a map? Maybe you could show me where duncan lives? - Maybe.
You got a woman? - Not exactly.
- Want one? - Not exactly.
Oh, one of those.
No.
Can i be frank with you? I'm i'm a priest.
- I didn't see a collar.
- I'm undercover.
An undercover priest? Oh, yes, of course.
People see the collar and they stop sinning temporarily.
And then as soon as you're gone, they're at it all over again.
This way it's easier to catch them in the act.
So ah, how about that map? That duncan's a nasty piece of work.
After his wife passed, went in and shot up the whole town and didn't care much who got in his way.
Well, i really do need to speak to him.
That jade must be worth a lot of money.
There's dallas's car.
And there's reiner's motorbike.
All right.
We're here.
Your mountain woman said duncan's cabin is about a three and a half mile hike that way.
Now, the river that they found the piece of jade in is in this area at least a day beyond that.
Okay.
Cute.
- Luongo.
- Sorry? Like voodoo.
Meant to scare us away.
- Funny, it works for me.
- hey! - What was that? - Hey! - Sound like somebody set off a trap.
- And the screams? - Hey! - Dallas.
Recognising his screams? What's the matter? Not very inviting.
Why does the unabomber suddenly spring to mind? You are really starting to aggravate me.
Come on, stop pulling on that.
It hurts.
Syd! Thank god.
He is mad.
Come on, before he gets back.
There it is.
I wonder what it's doing just laying out like that nigel, no! Nice work, nige.
Why is this worth so much to all of you? That's that's really kind of hard to say.
- It's a necklace worth millions - you're such an idiot, reiner.
I've got a buyer, and i make you my partner.
Yeah, i got a better proposition for you.
Team up with me.
You'll not only be rich, but you'll be famous.
You have any idea what being dallas carter's partner could do for you huh? Huh? He's smarter than he looks.
Got to get that sarcophagus before sasquatch does.
Nigel! - My knife.
Can you reach my boot? - I think so.
I've got it.
- Great! Great.
Okay.
Okay.
- I'm sorry.
Ww what are you doing? No wait, no sydney, this is not a good idea i, i can very easily get car sick, and what did i ever see in you two? - Syd - you, egotistical, pig-headed ah! Syd, syd, who squeezed water into your mouth when you've been too weak to swallow? Who? I can't remember.
I was delirious.
Syd, paris.
On our balcony, do you remember what you said? Huh? Sorry, can't remember.
Must be having an attack of temporary amnesia.
Sydney it's been nice hanging with y'all.
Don't go anywhere.
I will not allow you to walk out on me! Sydney, come on, baby.
You don't want it to end like this.
- Syd! I know you don't.
- You're going to regret this.
You are going to regret it, sydney.
Sydney! - Not much further.
- Good.
This thing's killing me.
Alaska looks good on you, nigel.
Got some grime under your nails.
- Definitely grime.
- Women like grime.
- They do? - Yes.
It's manly.
Really? We should camp up ahead.
I can't help thinking about the emperor never able to rest while his wife has been adrift.
Do you believe in the legend? As funny as it sounds, i think i'd do.
Do you? I i didn't think i did, but lately i i'm not sure.
Think i'll turn in.
Nigel, are you crazy? Get in here.
Are you going to get undressed? Shoulder? - Uh-huh.
- Shiatsu.
- Excuse me? - Sit.
Oh japanese picked shiatsu up from ancient china about twenty five hundred years ago.
It opens up the blocked channels so that ch'i energy can flow through to the tense areas.
Are we done? You really shouldn't have "attaboy, nigel.
Where do you think you're going? You can't expect me to sleep out there in the rain, now can you? You move and i'll pin your sydney, remember the blizzard in the andes? You and me in the ice cave? You're telling me you forgot those five sweet days? - How do you survive five days in an igloo? - Never mind.
- You owe me.
- All right.
You, take that sleeping bag.
- You won't regret this, sydney.
- So can you.
Okay.
We'll take this one.
- Night.
- How'd the two of you get out, anyway? - By working together.
- That could be dangerous.
- Now's our chance, nigel.
- It is? - We don't have much time.
- Right.
In front of them? They'll sleep through anything.
We just have to be very quiet.
- Right.
- Are you up for it? I i i think i am.
I mean, yes, i do think i am.
- Nigel? - Yes? - What's wrong? - I'm nervous.
- Just follow my lead.
- Right.
Get dressed.
Quietly.
Houston, we have a problem.
Houston! It's dallas, baby.
What is it? - They are gone.
- What the hell? What? Oh no.
How many times have i gone to sleep with sydney and woke up alone? How many times have i gone to sleep alone and woke up with sydney? She must owe you money.
You are so preoccupied with money.
Why is that, reiner? And you are so obsessed with publicity.
Why's that? Hey.
There's nothing wrong with a little self-promotion, now.
Come on.
You never actually found anything, have you? - That's ridiculous.
- Is it? I don't have to go justifying myself to you, pal.
Ha.
You are a fraud, dallas.
You are drugstore over-the-counter.
You're broke, aren't you.
Huh? Dead flat broke.
Huh? Ha.
- Ridiculous.
- Ha, ha.
Is it? I'm having a little dry patch.
That's it.
All right.
Look, finding the sarcophagus before sydney if there is any sarcophagus is going to be difficult, right? - Only because she has a head start.
- And because she is the best.
That too.
You need the necklace, i need the necklace.
What do you propose? Do you remember how concerned sydney was when you and i had worked together? About a size eighteen.
Got to be our big foot.
This whole area was once ocean floor.
It's mostly sedimentary rock, with some volcanic from the earth's core.
- Washed down from up there.
- Yeah.
Ferguson.
What was he doing out here? Following up on the story, maybe.
Who's going to write the newspaper's obituary? Who's going to bury the undertaker? This duncan's more dangerous than we thought.
This is where duncan's footprints end.
He must have crawled through there.
Come on.
Sorry, syd.
This whole place was once submerged.
An underwater cavern.
The lost ship of empress xia.
A little rough weather, and look where you wind up.
What happened there? It looks recent.
Be careful.
Duncan could be anywhere.
That was probably his doing.
Buried for centuries, yet amazingly preserved.
And unearthed now.
Yeah, by a change in temperature the the rock split.
Like a glass filled with hot water.
Precisely.
Who knows what climactic forces impacted on the pacific current from asia to north america three thousand years ago? I wonder how long this boat was adrift.
- Nigel.
- Yeah? Every tomb has a story.
What's his? What do you make of this? Duncan could have dragged the sarcophagus out? Well, he is a strong man.
It sat here for an eternity and now we're a few hours too late.
Well, which way did he take it? I mean, we didn't pass him on the way in.
There's got to be another way out of the cave.
Nothing like a photograph to establish a relic's prominence.
When my partner here and i sell the necklace it will prove this is the real thing.
Partner? Why don't you to get out of the way? I need a clear shot of the prow.
Yeah, well the necklace is gone.
It looks like duncan has dragged the sarcophagus and the empress away.
Guys, do the right thing for once.
Help us catch duncan, and return everything to the chinese.
Hey, anything you want is fine.
You keep it.
The necklace belongs to us.
You two would sell something that has inspired an entire civilisation for centuries? - In a heartbeat.
- Yeah.
Stop pointing that thing at me.
You're not going to shoot me, kurt.
Sit down.
Sit down.
You know, you really should know better.
Reiner's not to be trusted.
Oh, and you are? Come on, dallas.
Don't tell me you forgot about bali? That night on the beach? Could two people be more in sync? Actually, i think of it as more of a neurotic attachment.
Come on, reiner let's go get our necklace.
Didn't think i'd forget this, did you? Aarh, well he knows how to tie a knot, doesn't he? Yeah, i remember.
- Hold it right there.
- Hey.
You don't want to do that.
No, no.
It's my claim.
I staked it.
And i'll kill anyone who says different.
Yeah, but you really you don't want to do that.
Hah.
The emperor protects his bride still.
I didn't come this far to walk away without the necklace.
Hey.
Go ahead, open it.
Be my guest.
Syd, i've been thinking.
Picking up on claudia had this crazy notion that well, you said something yesterday, and then there was the tent, and what are you trying to say, nigel? Well, this is awkward.
Um - here goes - sh all right.
The good news is that duncan won't bother us any more.
And the bad news? We need your help.
You're going to open the sarcophagus for us.
Is that right? Listen, syd, here's the deal you get to return the ship, the sarcophagus, the empress, to the chinese.
You'll be a big hero.
They'll name a dim sum after you.
And the necklace? If it exists, which no one is sure it does, we'll keep it.
The only reason why you're passing on the rest of it is because it's too big to smuggle in your suitcase through customs.
Do we have a deal? Because if we don't, i'll be forced to shoot your assistant here.
Well? - Nigel, do you have the saying from dr chen's book? - Yeah.
The well will bring you to water and happiness.
The well.
The forty eighth hexagram of the l-ching.
Six lines mark the configuration.
Sydney, one wrong move and you'll be dead like duncan.
We should take this back to the museum, have it x-rayed and open it under a controlled environment.
Then frick and frack here would be denied of their little treasure.
And you of your life.
Just open it, sydney.
Come on.
Aarh that's great.
There's another one.
Nigel, what's the second part of that saying? The well will bring you water and happiness.
that's it.
The abysmal? The twenty-ninth hexagram of the l-ching, also represented of water.
What? What's the matter, sydney? The clue said water and happiness.
There is no l-ching for happiness.
Now, he wouldn't have written that without a reason.
The water l-ching has a connotation of danger.
Open up the box, lady.
Hon, can you bring me duncan's knife, and the other fellow's little handgun? You shot ferguson.
Ferguson got greedy, tried to doublecross me.
Open it.
The only thing i can think of is the eighth hexagram: The lake.
Representative of water, could also be associated with joy happiness? You sure? This was written over three thousand years ago.
There is no sure.
Come on, reiner.
One, two, three.
It was - dr chen was right.
- It is beautiful.
And shouldn't be disturbed.
She is coming with me.
Anyone follows, the professor is as dead as the lady in the box.
Understand? Sure.
Not exactly me, is it? But i sure can believe that it's worth a fortune.
It cost enough lives.
You looking for this? - Well yes.
- Definitely.
It's going back to china.
You got a problem with that? No.
We wanted to show you something.
It's from the beijing museum announcing the new exhibit.
The empress in her jade sarcophagus side-by-side with her husband.
They will rest together again for all eternity.
- For you, professor fox.
- Oh.
It's a charm of good fortune and love.
A blessing that you'll find your soul mate.
I need all the help i can get in that department.
Perhaps you're searching too hard.
Sometimes we overlook the obvious.
By constantly peering into distance, we do not see what is right in front of us.
You know, there is someone.
I see him every day.
Interesting, i never thought of him like that before.
He is right next door to me.
Paul.
You're a very wise man, dr chen.
I don't know why you bother with all this astrological nonsense.
Scorpio and i are like oil and water.
It's not nonsense.
I was just reading it wrong.
You're supposed to be with a cancer.
Oh, great.
Thanks for telling me now.
Nigel? I almost forgot.
This is for you.
Oh.
If this is another love charm, i sure could use one.
A prozzak concert, this friday? Two tickets? Oh, you and i? Wow, katie, this is um this is quite a surprise.
Um, i'd love to.
A prozzak concert.
It'd be great.
You know, i know this is going to sound clichéd but i've been wondering, what's your star sign? English