Rugrats (1991) s01e12 Episode Script

[ gasps]
THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
ONE TIME HE SAVED ME
FROM THE EVIL PRINCESS.
THE EVIL PRINCESS
HAD A BIG STINKY LION
AND SHE TRIED
TO SCARE HIM WITH IT.
Both:
WOW!
BUT SPIKE WAS SMARTER
THAN THE LION.
HE SCARED IT WORSER
AND THE LION RAN AWAY.
WISH WE HAD
A DOG LIKE HIM.
WISH I WAS
A DOG LIKE HIM.
HE'S THE BESTEST DOG
IN THE WORLD.
THAT'S WHY HE
GETS HIS OWN
SPECIAL PILLOW.
Twins:
WOW!
[ doorbell rings]
WHO'S THAT?
I DON'T KNOW.
STU? THEY'RE HERE.
BE RIGHT UP, DEED.
GUESS WHO'S COME
TO VISIT YOU, TOMMY?
YOUR FAVORITE COUSIN--
ANGELICA.
HELLO, EVERYONE.
Didi:
COME ON IN,
YOU TWO.
GOOD MORNING, AUNT DIDI.
I PICKED THIS FLOWER
JUST FOR YOU.
OH, HONEY, HOW NICE.
SUCH A THOUGHTFUL CHILD.
AND WHO IS THIS?
THIS IS FLUFFY.
MY NEW KITTY.
ISN'T SHE PRETTY?
OH, ANGELICA,
SHE'S BEAUTIFUL
AND SHE HAS
PRETTY BOWS ON
JUST LIKE YOURS.
'BOUT TIME
YOU GOT HERE, BRO.
YEP, I'M HERE.
WHAT'S THIS BIG INVENTION
YOU COULDN'T WAI
TILL TOMORROW TO SHOW ME?
GET READY FOR THIS.
THE LECTRO-BREWMEISTER 2000.
IT GRINDS. IT STEAMS.
IT EVEN ADDS THE CREAM.
IT WILL REVOLUTIONIZE
THE COFFEE INDUSTRY.
HMM, I'M NOT SURE
THAT THE WORLD
IS READY FOR THIS, STU.
LET'S GO OUT IN THE KITCHEN
AND TRY HER OUT, HUH?
FLUFFY, SAY HELLO TO THE BABIES.
[ gasps]
AND THIS IS SPIKE.
HE'S A DOG.
DOGS ARE DIRTY AND UGLY,
NOT LIKE US.
FLUFFY, YOU STAY UP HERE
ABOVE THE DOG.
THAT'S WHERE YOUBELONG.
OH, YES, AND HERE'S
YOUR CATNIP BALL.
FLUFFY LOVES HER CATNIP BALL
MORE THAN ANYTHING.
OKAY, LISTEN.
HERE'S WHAT
WE'RE GOING TO DO TODAY.
I'VE BEEN TAKING DANCE CLASSES
AND I'M GOING TO PERFORM.
UH-OH.
NOW, I'M THE BEAUTIFUL
FAMOUS, WONDERFUL BALLERINA
WHO IS LOVED BY THE WHOLE WORLD
AND YOU'RE THE EXPECTATORS.
HEY, ANGELICA.
HOW COME WE ALWAYS HAVE
TO DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?
BECAUSE!
[ gulps]
[ Wagner's "Flight
of the Valkyrie" playing]
[ grunting]
SPIKE, LOOK OUT!
FLUFFY, YOU'RE FUNNY.
WHAT IN THE WORLD
IS GOING ON IN HERE?
HE DID IT!
HE DID IT!
SPIKE!
YOU NAUGHTY DOG.
[ vacuuming]
NOW, GO SIT IN THE CORNER.
YOU'VE BEEN
A VERY BAD DOG.
I JUST DON'T
UNDERSTAND IT.
I CAN'T FIGURE OU
WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THE LECTRO 2000.
IT WORKED THIS MORNING.
SURE, STU.
AW, DID NAUGHTY OLD SPIKE
SCARE FLUFF-FLUFF?
HERE YOU GO, FLUFFY.
THE HIGHEST PLACE
FOR THE BESTEST PET.
HEY, ANGELICA.
SPIKE DIDN'T DO THAT.
FLUFFY DID IT, AND YOU KNOW IT.
FLUFFY? MY KITTY?
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, PRETTIEST,
MOST WONDERFULEST KITTY
IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD?
I DON'T THINK SO.
NOW
WE'RE GOING
TO PLAY A GAME.
IT'S CALLED "SIMON SAYS."
AND I'MSIMON.
OKAY, THE FIRST THING
YOU GOT TO DO IS--
POKE YOURSELF IN THE EYE.
NO.
DO IT!
NO!
DO IT!
[ sighs]
I DIDN'T SAY "SIMON SAYS."
NOW, SIMON SAYS,
POKE YOURSELF IN THE EYE.
[ Angelica laughing]
SILLY KITTY.
Men:
OH, NO.
Didi:
THAT DOES IT.
BAD DOG.
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS.
IT'S THE GARAGE FOR YOU.
THAT'S RIGHT, SPIKE.
YOU HAVE TO STAY IN THE GARAGE
JUST LIKE WHEN YOU WERE
A BAD LITTLE PUPPY.
[ whimpers]
NOW YOU STAY HERE
AND THINK ABOUT
WHAT YOU'VE DONE.
[ scratching]
[ whimpers]
[ bawling]
HEY, TOMMY, WHAT'S WRONG?
IT'S OKAY, CHAMP.
NONE OF THAT STUFF
WAS ALL THAT VALUABLE ANYWAY.
THERE, ALL BETTER?
COME ON, STU.
LET'S GET
THAT THING WORKING.
I HAVEN'T GOT
ALL DAY, YOU KNOW.
YOU BABIES ARE REALLY BORING ME.
[ jingling]
IT'S NOT FAIR.
FLUFFY DID
ALL THIS STUFF
AND SPIKE
GETS IN TROUBLE.
DON'T WORRY.
I GOT AN IDEA.
WHERE IS IT?
I KNOW IT'S THERE SOMEWHERE.
LOOKING FOR THIS?
[ laughing]
AND NOW,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
MY RENDITION OF
IT'S RAINING, IT'S POURING,
THE OLD MAN IS SNORING ♪
PSST, TOMMY.
7:00 IN THE MORNING
IT'S RAINING
YOU GUYS STAY HERE
AND KEEP HER BUSY.
THE OLD MAN'S IN TRAINING
HE WENT TO BED
AND BUMPED HIS HEAD ♪
AND COULDN'T STOP
COMPLAINING ♪
IT'S RAINING, IT'S POURING
THE OLD MAN IS BORING
HE STAYED IN BED
AND STAYED IN BED
AND NEVER LET UP SNORING
[ jingling]
HEY, TOMMY.
GIVE THAT BACK
TO MY FLUFFY.
PHIL, CATCH!
OOH.WHOA!
I JUST DON'T GET IT.
I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING
AND I STILL CAN'T GET
THE BREWMEISTER TO WORK.
STU, COULD THISBE THE PROBLEM?
AIN'T SHE A BEAUT?
HUH?
HUH?
[ meows]
[ growls]
[ growls]
[ barks]
NOW, THAT'S WHAT I'D CALL
A GOOD CUP OF JOE.
[ crashing]
WHAT HAPPENED?
ARE YOU CHILDREN
ALL RIGHT?
OH, THIS IS TERRIBLE.
THEY DID IT!
THEY DID IT ALL.
THEM AND THEIR
DUMB DOG.
[ whines]
NOW, NOW, ANGELICA,
DON'T LIE.
SPIKE COULDN'T
HAVE DONE THIS.
HE'S STILL
IN THE GARAGE.
WE DON'T WANT TO BLAME OTHERS
FOR THINGS WE DID WRONG.
BUT, BUT, BUT
LISTEN, SWEETHEAR
MAYBE YOU'VE HAD
ENOUGH EXCITEMEN
FOR ONE DAY.
WHY DON'T WE
TAKE YOUR KITTY
AND GO HOME?
IT'S A GREAT INVENTION.
I'M SORRY I CAN'T STAY
AND HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE.
YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE MISSING, BRO.
BUT, DADDY
THEY REALLY DID DO IT,
HONEST.
WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT
WHEN WE GET HOME, MUFFIN.
[ gags]
I'M SORRY, SPIKE.
I WAS WRONG.
IT WAS THAT NAUGHTY
FLUFFY AFTER ALL.
FORGIVE ME?
[ whimpers]
AH
OOH
HEY, WHAT'S THIS?
HMM, ISN'T IT ONE
OF SPIKE'S TOYS?
YEAH, IT MUST BE.
HERE YOU GO.
WELL, COME ON, HONEY,
I'LL GET THE BROOM.
YOU GET THE DUSTBUSTER.
REMEMBER
MY TRICK KNEE.
OH, STU.
[ laughing]
WOW, TOMMY, LOOK!
All:
REPTAR!
LOOK AT THAT
TERRIBLE LIZARD.
IT'S JUST A GUY
IN A RUBBER SUIT.
MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T BRING
THE KIDS INTO THIS CARNIVAL.
WHY NOT?
WHEN I WAS THEIR AGE,
I WORKED THE CARNEY.
HARD WORK,
DAWN TO DUSK.
I HAD TO SLEEP
WITH THE ELEPHANTS.
ELEPHANTS?
AND IF ONE OF THEM
HAD A BAD DREAM
HE MIGHT JUST ROLL OVER
AND SQUASH YOU.
LISTEN, LEO, I AM SICK
AND TIRED OF YOU EATING
THEM CEREAL SAMPLES.
BUT I LOVE THOSE BITE-SIZED
SUGARY MORSELS.
YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH
SUGARY MORSELS FOR ONE LIFETIME.
LOOK, LEO
YOU MAY BE
MY WIFE'S KID BROTHER
BUT THIS IS THE LAST TIME
I COVER FOR YOU.
LOOK AT THAT GUY
POKING REPTAR.
HOW COME REPTAR
DOESN'T EAT HIM UP?
GET THIS STRAIGHT.
THIS TRAY
HAS 50 SAMPLES.
IF I DON'T SEE 50 KIDS
LEAVE THIS CARNIVAL
WITH BOXES OF CEREAL
YOU'LL NEVER WORK
IN SHOW BIZ AGAIN.
[ gulping]
WE GOT TO GO FIND REPTAR.
I DON'T KNOW, TOMMY.
WE COULD GET LOST
OR SOMETHING.
DON'T BE A BABY, CHUCKIE.
COME ON.
UP WE GO, CHAMP.
[ honking]
OH!
GET IT AWAY!
WHAT'S WRONG, DEED?
OH, I'M SORRY,
IT'S NOTHING.
YOU'RE AFRAID OF CLOWNS,
AREN'T YOU?
AFRAID OF WHAT?
COME ON, DIDI,
ADMIT IT.
OH, I DON'T KNOW, STU.
THERE'S JUST SOMETHING
ABOUT THEM
THAT JUST FRIGHTEN ME.
YOU THINK THAT CLOWN
WAS SCARY?
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN
THE CLOWNS I KNEW.
NOW THEY WERE SCARY.
I REMEMBER THIS ONE
THEY CALLED MR. SNIFFLES.
[ yelling]
COME ON, CHAMP.
NOW, WHERE
TO FIRST, GANG?
I WANT TO GO ON A RIDE.
WHICH RIDE,
SWEETHEART?
THAT ONE!
THAT ONE!
[ gasps]
Angelica:
THE NAUSE-O-WHIRL.
OH, I DON'T KNOW, STU.
THAT LOOKS WAY TOO SCARY
FOR A LITTLE GIRL.
HONEY, DON'T YOU THINK
IT WOULD BE MORE FUN
TO GO ON A RIDE
LIKE THAT ONE?
I WANT TO GO
ON THE NAUSE-O-WHIRL!
LET HER GO.
EVERYBODY'S GOT
TO GET SCARED STIFF
AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIVES.
MIGHT AS WELL BE
WHEN THEY'RE
THREE YEARS OLD.
OH.
[ Angelica screaming]
STU, THIS IS TERRIBLE!
WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.
STOP IT!
SHE'S GOING
TO BE SICK!
GIVE IT A KICK?
YOU GOT IT, DUDE.
Stu:
NO, NO, STOP IT!
STOP, STOP!
HONEY, ARE YOU OKAY?
[ moaning]
I THINK SO, UNCLE STU.
HEY, DEED, LOOK.
NOW, HOW ABOUT GOING
ON THAT RIDE, HONEY?
I'LL BET THAT WATER
IS FILTHY.
COME ON, DEED,
JUST FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE.
WELL
GO ON, YOU TWO LOVEBIRDS.
A LITTLE BOAT RIDE IN THE DARK
WILL DO YOU GOOD.
BUT WHAT ABOUT
THE CHILDREN, POP?
DON'T YOU WORRY,
I'LL WATCH THE HERD.
WELL, IT'S SILLY,
BUT OKAY.
GREAT.
Grandpa:
AH, LOVE.
IT'S WASTED ON THE YOUNG
THAT'S FOR SURE.
LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING ABOUT LOVE.
WELL, MAYBE
IN A COUPLE OF YEARS.
COME ON, SPROUTS.
LET'S GO FIND US
SOME FUN.
SAY, NOW, THIS IS WHAT
I CALL A RIDE.
HOW LONG DOES
THIS RIDE LAST, YOUNG FELLA?
ABOUT THREE MINUTES.
HOW LONG DID YOU SAY?
WHOA, AS LONG AS YOU LIKE, SIR.
NOW YOU'RE TALKING.
ANYHOO, THERE I WAS
ON A FREIGHTER BOUND FOR CHINA.
WE WAS ABOUT
TWO WEEKS OUT OF SHANGHAI
WHEN THE TYPHOON HIT.
15-FOOT WAVES
CRASHING ON THE DECK.
"GET THE CAPTAIN," THEY SAID.
I FOUND HIM
UNDER HIS BUNK CRYING.
YEAH, HE WAS CRYING
LIKE A BABY
[ snoring]
[ gasps]
THERE GOES REPTAR.
LET'S FOLLOW HIM.
FOLLOW HIM?
HOW ARE WE GOING
TO FOLLOW HIM?
WE CAN'T EVEN
GET OFF THIS BOAT, DUMMY.
LOOK.
QUICK,
NOW'S OUR CHANCE.
NOW WHERE DID
REPTAR GO?
THERE HE IS.
LOOK
OVER THERE.
WHAT'S HE EATING?
WOW!
REPTAR CEREAL!
I'M GOING TO GET SOME.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT,
ANGELICA.
YEAH, REPTAR MIGHT
EAT YOU UP OR SOMETHING.
HEY, REPTAR!
[ screams]
HELLO, LITTLE GIRL.
WOULD YOU LIKE A FREE SAMPLE
OF MY REPTAR CEREAL?
YES, PLEASE, REPTAR, SIR.
HERE YOU GO.
MAY I HAVE ANOTHER ONE, PLEASE?
I'M SORRY, LITTLE GIRL
ONLY ONE FREE SAMPLE
PER HUMAN CHILD.
GIVE ME ONE.
LISTEN, KID,
IT AIN'T UP TO ME.
I SAID GIVE ME ONE!
OW!
HEY, COME BACK HERE.
YOU STOLE
OH, THIS STUPID COSTUME.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THESE KIDS.
WHERE DO THEY GET OFF..?
WE GOT TO DO SOMETHING
OR ANGELICA'S GOING
TO GET EAT UP FOR SURE.
SO?SO?
COME ON.
WHY, YOU LITTLE
[ roaring]
NYAH-NYAH.
NYAH-NYAH-NYAH.
[ blows raspberry]
[ mumbling:]
HOIST THE MIZZEN MAST.
WHICH WAY NOW, TOMMY?
LOOK.
STUART?
YES, MY SWEET?
I II LOVE YOU
RIGHT NOW.
AND I YOU.
LOOK INTO MY EYES, DARLING.
THEY'RE EYES
THAT SEE ONLY YOU.
OH, DIDI.
STU.
DIDI.
STU.
DIDI.
STU.
DIDI.
BLECH!
[ roaring]
[ screaming]
[ roaring]
NOW I GOT YOU.
GIVEME THAT CEREAL.
NO!
I SAID GIVE IT TO ME.
NO, YOU BIG DUMB DINOSUAR.
[ yelling]
[ laughing]
COME ON, ANGELICA,
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
OH, STU, DARLING.
DIDI.
KISS ME. KISS ME, I SAY.
[ roaring]
[ screaming]
[ snoring]
WHAT?
WHERE WAS I?
OH, YEAH.
I KNEW IT WAS ALL UP TO ME.
SO I TOOK THE WHEEL
ADMIT IT, DIDI
THAT TUNNEL OF LOVE
WAS PRETTY EXCITING.
WELL, IT WAS FUN,
I GUESS.
BUT I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THAT LIZARD.
SO, THERE I WAS
FACE TO FACE
WITH THIS LITTLE
THREE-FOOT MONSTER.
SHE GRABBED ONE END
OF THE TRAY
I GRABBED THE OTHER
I HAVE HAD IT.
YOU'VE BEEN NOTHING
BUT TROUBLE SINCE DAY ONE.
YOU'RE FIRED.
FIRED?
YOU CAN'T FIRE ME.
ME REPTAR!
[ roaring]
HEY, LOOK.
[ roaring]
[ gasps]
I TOLD YOU, YOU SHOULDN'T
HAVE MESSED WITH THE REPTAR.
HE'S REALLY MAD
AT YOU NOW.
MAYBE WE'D BETTER
GET OUT OF HERE.
I'M REALLY SLEEPY,
UNCLE STU.
OF COURSE YOU ARE,
SWEETIE.
WE SHOULD PROBABLY
GO ANYWAY.
WITH UNBALANCED PEOPLE LIKE
THAT LIZARD MAN RUNNING AROUND
THIS IS NO PLACE FOR CHILDREN.
REPTAR.
[ roaring]
Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation