Run the Burbs (2022) s01e12 Episode Script

1 Babe, check it out! Oh, I know! Cathy told my dad they found a dead body over at 52.
Candy told me that someone at 47 had their identity stolen.
They called in the bomb squad! - What?! - Yeah.
I talked to Bill across the street, and he heard from Fateema that there's a suspicious package on the steps of 63.
Oh, that does sound suspicious! Hey, guys! Did you hear about the lovers' quarrel? What did you hear? Mrs.
Tomiyama over at 51 has had enough of Mr.
Tomiyama - and his "friend" Rosaline.
- I knew it! - Mr.
Tomiyama, he is trash.
- Yeah.
No, you guys, it's just Mr.
Davis.
He locked himself out of the house and called 911 again.
He's really gotta stop doing that.
- Oh - Aw.
Give me a burst pipe or something.
It's Sebastian! A fight just broke out at the open house on Pine! The realtor didn't bring enough focaccia bread.
- And where there's bread - There's charcuterie.
Hurry, we don't wanna miss that rolled meat! My new life begins as soon as I submit this application to graduate.
- Nice, babe.
- Okay, you got it, Dad.
Yeah, Ba.
You got this.
Stop putting pressure on me! This is a very big moment.
I still think you should have gone to the graduation ceremony.
I ain't paying 250 bucks for a gown and a square hat.
That's like a new pair of Jordans.
Well, I actually have some news of my own.
I just got my third dish on the weekly top ten list at UnbeatableRecipes.
com! That's amazing! Why didn't you tell me? I didn't want to spoil your big moment, but then you were taking so long.
Oh, okay.
Well, let's do this.
- I also have some news.
- Ooh! I found some summer art classes and I reserved two spots.
I'd rather do dance class.
It's for Mannix.
Look at you! Okay Any news for you, L to the E-O? - Just this feeling.
- Hmm, what's that? That today is gonna be a great day.
That's my boy! All right.
Here goes nothing.
Consider this application to graduate submitted! Okay, what happens now? Now this graduate can officially accept that community outreach coordinator job.
Well, I will pick up a cake on the way home and then we'll celebrate my little university graduate! - Good job, Dad! - Way to go, Dad! - - Hang on, Andrew already landed a job and you're about to be a three-time published chef? Three top ten recipes? That's a big deal, Camille! It's like it's a big deal! I know, I've been thinking about it the whole drive in.
I think we could leverage this into a book deal.
And then a movie! Ooh, who would play me? Now we are talking.
If Andrew can carry the load for the next little while, I might be able to finally leave this place.
Might, or Feels like all signs are pointing to "can.
" Oh my God.
Camille, wait.
- What? - If you quit, you can finally tell these turds exactly what you think of them.
Oh, I'll probably just give them my two weeks, you know? - Keep the references - Camille.
You are about to start your own business.
This might be your last chance to quit ever.
Think about it.
Don't you hate how Carl shame-stares at everyone for eating meat? Everyone does.
He's so smug with his dry salad.
And Lana, who took two months sick leave to go to Cuba.
And she flaunts those cigars in our faces like we're idiots.
Don't even get me started on Larry.
I mean, how many times do you have top remind a CEO - about personal space? - Is that a trick question? - And then there's - Janine.
Not only am I quitting today, I'm quitting hard.
No, no, no, I totally understand what you're saying, but can't you look the other way on this one? Everything okay? Your dad sent me the MacGruber gif where the van blows up.
Yeah, I don't think so.
He's been on the phone for a while.
He's being dramatic.
No, I know it's not your fault, it's just, this ruins my whole life.
- Oh, you don't care.
Okay.
- So, um, you studying for finals too, huh? Summer sure is creeping up on us.
I guess.
Okay, so how are you handling the whole Mannix news? How are you handling it? - Obviously devastated.
- Yeah, uh-huh, same.
I mean, I can't help but feel like it's my fault, you know? - Mmm, probably is.
- I mean, I understand her missing her mom and all, that's cool, but the whole summer back in Paris? - What? - We're gonna be okay, right? - We're gonna be - For sure.
All right.
Well, you can just leave me alone, just like everyone else.
That's fine.
You will not believe what I've been going through.
Oh, are you okay? I will be.
What's going on with you? The university won't credit me for three of the courses - I took 15 years ago.
- What?! I might not graduate, and if I don't graduate, I don't got that cushy community outreach job! Look, look, look, buddy, you'll figure this out, all right? Everything will be okay.
Man, I was just really looking forward to helping Camille get out of her job, focus on her food full time.
I'll have to take summer courses, she'll be stuck there for months.
Camille will understand, she's been working there for years.
So what's a few more months, right? Yeah, I guess you're right.
What's the worst that could happen? What do you think, too much? Oh, it was glorious.
No, I can't give up that easily.
There he is! There's gotta be a loophole.
Are you saying what I think you're saying? That's right, we're gonna take on Big Academia.
That's crazy.
- Hey, what are you doing home? - Lunch break.
Cornstarch, water, ketchup - You making fake blood? - Yup.
Nice.
Have a great day, buddy! Thanks, you too! You think I don't know taking on Big Academia is crazy? That's why if we're gonna do this, we're gonna need a team as crazy as we are.
Who do you have in find? Ramesh Divani, professor of business studies.
He's our man on the inside.
Some call him stubborn, others call him, "Daddy.
" Mr.
Wazbodoski.
High school guidance counsellor extraordinaire.
This guy knows about school and jobs.
Also makes a mean sandwich.
Barb! I don't know her last name, but no one knows bureaucracy better than she does.
If there's a weakness in the system, she'll know about it.
So that's the plan.
Pretty straightforward.
Mr.
Wazbodoski will set up a fake community ethics course.
Then Hudson, you'll cook the books, while Ramesh, you use your clout in the university to slip the registration papers into the records room.
Meanwhile, Barb, you scour the university rule book for grey areas and soft spots.
Soft spots? Then I graduate so I can get my dope job downtown reviewing community census reports.
And we all get to put one over on the man.
So what do you say? Y'all in? - Absolutely not.
- What? Andrew, I don't know what led you to believe that I could be capable of something like this.
And how did you get my phone number? Ramesh? I most certainly will not be using my "clout" to hack into some records room.
It's not hacking if you do it in person.
This plan of yours, it's rubbish.
I'm sorry, Andrew.
Nice job on the blueprint.
There's a lot of soft skills in that, but I'm out.
Hudson? Come on Yeah, it sounded better before people started saying no.
Sorry, buddy, I've really gotta get to work.
Barb? I know you and I haven't always seen eye to eye on things, but this is an opportunity for us to come together for something greater than the both of us.
Barb? Let's do this! This is the worst plan I've ever heard.
Not only will it not work, but if I catch wind of you even attempting it, I'm going to have to report you to my friend at the academic bylaw division.
Why? Because universities have codes, and codes and rules, and rules have to be followed.
That sucks.
I can't believe I did it! That was so exhilarating.
Oh, I feel so alive.
Okay, first thing Monday, we talk business plan.
Literally cannot wait.
Oh, hey, babe.
I just had the most amazing morning, but you know what? - You go first.
- Aww, yeah! Um, there's a bit of a situation here.
I'm sorry, what? What? You knew I wanted to quit! Yeah, but I didn't know that meant today! Well, you said you had a job, so I thought, - no time like the present.
- We can fix this.
You know what? In every college movie I've ever seen, it just takes one heartfelt speech and the dean always comes around.
And I'm great at heartfelt speeches! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that is something.
And I will talk to Janine.
- Really? - Yeah.
Desperate times call for desperate begging.
Yeah, you got this.
Okay.
Hey, Janine.
Hey, Janine, hey.
Hey Let's go.
I got your text.
What's up? Oh, I found some cool summer art classes, and I reserved a couple spots for us.
They're every Thursday and Tuesday, all summer long.
Uh, sure, I'll put it in my calendar.
Great.
Is there anything else in your calendar you want to tell me about? I mean, anything you might have forgotten to mention? Any tiny little detail that may affect your availability? You know, don't you? Yeah.
Why didn't you tell me you were going to Paris? Because I, did I just didn't want to hurt you.
So you were gonna leave without saying goodbye? No, I mean, of course I was gonna say goodbye, just, I I guess I hadn't figured it out.
Well, let me know when you do.
- You forgot it.
- I only came back because I forgot my sketch book.
- Yeah, here.
- Bon voyage.
- Hey, girlfriend! - What do you want? What are you talking about? Can't a couple of gal pals just chop it up at work? - You don't work here anymore.
- What are you talking about? You made Carl cry.
Oh, no, they were tears of laughter.
We were all just joking around.
You should leave before I call security.
Okay.
I know that what I did in here wasn't great.
But you gotta admit, they deserved it! Not you, though.
You're great.
You have great moments, and this, this could be one of them.
If you give me my job back.
Camille, why would I give you your job back? Okay, come on, there has to be something I can do.
Well, there night be one thing.
But you're not gonna like it.
Oh no So in conclusion, I believe it was Oprah who said, trust your heart, and success will come.
Dean Mendez, will you help this old stay-at-home dad take the first step into the rest of his life by approving his application to graduate? - No.
I mean, like, you would think about it? It's not complicated, Mr.
Pham.
You don't have the credits.
Come on, Dean.
There's gotta be something I can do.
You can take the required courses.
Right.
So unless there's anything else, I'm gonna move on with I have something to say.
- Ramesh, you came! - What's happening? It is my understanding that this man is three credits short of graduating with a community development degree.
Well, allow me to testify that no man has dedicated himself more to developing community than Andrew Pham.
Looking for a man who cares? - Hudson, you too? - A man who is relentless in his pursuit of bringing people together? And inspiring them to be a part of something bigger than themselves? Look no further than this guy.
Let me tell you a story.
- Mr.
Wazbodoski! - For the love of God.
It's about a guy who somehow got a hold of my phone number, inserted himself into my life, and just wouldn't leave me alone.
Oh great, so he harassed you.
What I'm saying is that Andrew is tenacious.
He made a plan, and he executed it only to be stymied by petty academic bureaucracy.
- No offense.
- None taken.
I can't believe you all came.
You do realize that this doesn't change anything.
I wouldn't be so sure of that, Dean Mendez.
- Barb.
- That's right.
And I found a soft spot.
I am so sorry, I wish that there was something I could do, but we really do need to let you go.
I'm so sorry.
I usually have cookies! Janine, this is too much.
I need, like, a soft five.
That's a hard no.
Okay.
Next.
What the hell are you doing here? You just quit.
Andrew doesn't have a job, so now I need this one.
Go ahead, Camille.
Are you gonna fire me? I mean Wow.
I'm not gonna do this, Janine.
Well, it's her or you.
Your choice.
You're right.
It is my choice.
You're fired, Janine.
You don't have the authority to do that.
I know, it felt good to say, though.
- I quit.
- Excuse me? I said what I said.
And if she goes, I go.
I quit too.
Obviously we were just about to fire you.
Well, in that case Seriously? - Too much? - It was glorious.
Hey Now it's showtime Hey So Barb actually came through? - I know, right? - Wow.
You took down the dean? I got Janine? Babe, we are crushing it.
Your mom is a badass.
You know that, right? Hey.
- You okay? - Yeah.
I'm fine.
Oh my God, Leo! My baby boy! Who did this to you? I did it to myself.
It was the best, you should have seen it.
So this bully, Kai De Souza, was picking on Jojo, so I was all, "No way.
" And then he was all, "You wanna fight instead?" And I was all, "Whatever," trying to play it cool.
I'll get it.
So you fought him? Moby and I fake fought so Kai would think we're hardcore.
- Did it work? - Yes and no.
At first, Kai was convinced Can we talk? - Yeah.
- I'm sorry.
I should have told you, it's just, I miss my mom.
- And she misses me.
- I get it.
And I'm sorry too, I freaked out a little, but I'm gonna miss you.
It's just the summer though, right? I would have missed you too, and that's what I told my mom.
- Are you not going? - Actually, my mom asked if you wanted to come to Paris with me.
Seriously? Like, for the summer? Yeah, we can check out museums, go to the Eiffel Tower, we can sketch on the Seine, and we'd get to spend the whole summer together.
And my mom said she'd pay for the whole thing.
What do you say? It was on the ground, it was on his face! It was everywhere.
Fake blood, fake fight, it was all just for show.
But in the end, Jojo stood up for herself.
She was amazing.
She even kissed me on the cheek after.
- Wow! Look at us, it's all happening.
I'm starting my own business, your dad's got a new job.
- Oh yeah, no, that fell through.
- What? Yeah, when I thought I wasn't going to graduate, I made a few calls, and raised some red flags.
They moved on.
For real? Neither of you have jobs? Do we need to get jobs? No, of course not.
- We'll be fine.
- Totally.
I didn't want that job anyway.
It's downtown, and I ain't made for a daily commute.
Plus, Barb mentioned a job at the Rockridge Community Association.
I think I'd be a good fit, and I'd be closer to home.
I like it.
Keepin' it in the burbs.
Exactly.
You know what? This is perfect.
This moment.
As long as we stick together, we're gonna have the best summer of our lives.
And that is a Pham guarantee, baby! - Whoa, nice speech.
- Thanks.
Actually, there's something I want to ask you guys.
So what do you think your dad's big surprise is? - An RV? - Oh, no way.
No, for real! Uh Oh my God, Andrew! Babe, you're gonna love Okay, I know what you're thinking, but this baby was used in a minor crime, so I got a smokin' deal on the rental.
Cool! - Oh my goodness.
- What do you think? I love it! Oh, you guys are going on a trip, too? Yeah, we gotta keep up with our world traveler.
We're gonna miss you.
Remember, 911 is 112 in France.
Okay, Dad.
I don't leave for a couple of hours and I can't breathe.
- Sorry.
- That's okay.
I got carried away.
- Proud of you.
- Yeah.
I'm excited for her.
Our baby girl is going to Paris.
And the three of us are hitting the open road.
- Hey! - Dad, this sounds really great but Jojo invited me to her family cottage for a week.
Can I go? Come on, you don't wanna roll with us? Dad, I think she's my soulmate.
- Go to her.
- Thanks! It will be fine.
Hey, you've probably got work to do, and I should go prep for my interview.
I'll just return the RV.
Or maybe we take the weekend and see what this RV is really made of.
Oh, it's just a fibreglass shell with a little bit of alum - Oh! - Get in.
Let the summer begin, baby! Look at this, huh? Who's ready for a road trip, baby? Welcome aboard to your palace on the highway.
Whoo! This is where the magic happens.
Hey!