Shake It Up! s01e12 Episode Script

It's so cold I sneezed and shot out a snotsicle.
Yeah, I know, it hit me in the ear.
Flynn, we took you to the park to go ice skating on the coldest day of the year and you didn't even say thanks.
That's not Flynn.
Uh-oh.
We did it again.
We should reconsider that leash.
Come on, let's take you back to the park, sweetie.
Okay, the first time it's an accident, the second time a coincidence, but three times? You're trying to get rid of me.
So, anyway, you got a phone number? Come on.
Everybody, everybody, get out on the floor it can get a little crazy when the kick hits the 4 make a scene, make a scene, nobody can ignore don't knock it till you rock it we can't take it no more bring the lights up, bust the doors down dust yourself off shake it up, shake it up dj set it off, take it up a notch all together now, shake it up, shake it up sh-sh-sh-shake it up you got to change it up and when you've had enough sh-sh-sh-shake it up bring the lights up, bust the doors down all together now, shake it up, shake it up shake it up Mom.
Mmm? I don't think I tell you enough how much I love you.
Piece of dark chocolate, mom? Your favorite.
All right, what did you fail, break or lie about? Failed Spanish, broke a vase, and lied about passing Spanish.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Sorry, I don't do fire escapes.
Mom, sit down.
Dual family meeting.
May I have your attention, please.
We're about to change a young boy's life.
Our story begins the day his dreams of college were shattered when he receives his report card.
My dreams are shattered.
I just received my report card.
What happened, young friend? I failed geography because I don't know where the States are.
Oh! Is this one england? If only there were a way to have avoided this horrible tragedy.
But wait, there is a way.
A family road trip this summer! America, america Chicago to missouri to texas all the way to the grand canyon! But would flying over the great land really help this young boy learn? No! I guess we have to drive there in The road shark 3,000! Hold on, we need dramatic effect.
The road shark 3,000! But wait, there's more.
Act now, we'll also throw in good grades and no back-talk for a whole six months.
Hold on, hold on, we didn't talk about that.
Shh! So, uh, what do you say? I'm in if you're in.
Well, it sounds like it could be a wonderful educational opportunity for the kids.
Mmm-hmm.
And it's only 45 minutes from Vegas, baby! It's on! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! We're finally going to the grand canyon! Yes we are, but remember the road shark 3,000 only has one bathroom.
So, uh, rule number one is There's no number two.
So, what do you think? Eye-yi-eye.
Lookin' good.
Get it? It is an eyeball, right? It's a robotic eyeball.
It has a retina, a cornea, an iris Here's what it needs.
Mascara, false eyelashes and eye shadow.
You could look so pretty.
Greetings, reigning science fair champion.
I am Tinka and the hot breath you feel on the back of your neck is mine.
I am here to rip the first place ribbon from your cheaply manicured hands.
Do you ever just say "hello"? Okay.
Hello, miss should-have- been-held-back-last-year.
Where's gunther? He is on medical leave.
Ooh, what happened? He shaved for the first time.
Two hairs, six stitches.
Puberty is never pretty.
Okay, who's ready to be blown away by my project? What, you made a project? Aren't you threatening your perfect record of incompletes? I'm bored of incompletes.
I want to see what a grade feels like.
All right! Check it out.
Wow, this is totally You put a lot of work into This is really Okay, I give up.
What is it? It started out as a volcano, it was briefly a jet engine, but then a Johnny depp movie came on tv and now it's a giant thumb.
And they wonder why the science teacher weeps at lunch.
Fine.
What did you come up with? That's your project? A big egg? That's not so impressive, unless you laid it.
Oh! I created it with my Uncle gushlick.
He's a genetic scientist.
This ostrich egg will hatch the night of the fair.
And I have injected it with the DNA of a chicken, a doberman pincher, and something labeled "danger" (Laughs) And voila! I've created a new life form never before seen on this planet.
Time for gym.
Come, tinka-saurus.
Oh, wow.
My mom says our radiator is broken and the heat is out in our apartment.
The building manager said it's gonna be a couple of days and we have to stay in a hotel.
Hotel? Giant thumbs down.
Waste of money.
Your family can just stay with us.
Cece, that's very sweet, but it's way too much to ask.
Rocky, stop being so Rocky.
This'll be fun and it'll give our parents a little time to bond before the trip.
Giant thumbs up.
Good times! Shouldn't you ask your mom? Of course I'm going to ask my mom.
What, do I look stupid? Ow! Now I look stupid! Ow! Now I feel stupid! Ow! Please take this away from me! Oh! Ow! Sorry, kids.
Okay, the blue pins are places where you can see cool animals and the red pins are places where you can ride cool animals.
The yellow pins are places where you can eat cool animals.
Mmm.
Rattlesnake pie.
When did you do all that? My dad and I have been talking about this trip for the last three years, but he's always working and it never happens.
Yeah, I hear you.
My dad's always on business trips.
So what're you doing, drying out your sheets? That used to happen to me.
I'm building a man cave.
It's going to keep us sane while we're trapped in an apartment with four women.
Aren't you too big to be building a fort? A fort? Does this look like a fort to you? Whoa! That was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
I hope your radiator never gets fixed.
Just remember, what happens in the man cave stays in the man cave.
Ty, can I get a little help here? Moon bounce! Flynn! Hey.
Hurray! Slumber party! Whoo! Mom! Georgia, I must admit, it's such a surprise that you let us stay here while our radiator is broken.
Yeah, it's a surprise to me, too.
Shoot! I knew there was something I forgot to do.
Could you fill my mom in? Thanks.
Hi.
Smells good! Whoo! You didn't have to go crazy with dinner.
Oh, don't be silly.
We're your guests, it's the least I could do.
Oh! You're gonna make me look bad.
Oh, you're too pretty to ever look bad.
In fact, you'd stop traffic if you came by my salon and let me touch up those dark roots.
Actually, I'm a natural blonde.
Yeah, like I'm a natural size four.
I love your laugh.
It's infectious.
Like the stomach flu.
Dinner! En garde! Ah! Tooshie! It's touche.
No, I think it's tooshie.
Ah! Okay, you got me at fencing.
But I'm gonna smoke you when the putting green goes in tomorrow.
What's that stuff coming off the potatoes? Oh, that's steam.
That's what happens when it's served hot.
My mom always said a hot meal is how you show your love.
How do you show your love? By having my daughter's best friend's family stay with us.
Great meatloaf, mom.
Thank you.
Yeah, how'd you fix our stove? Mom said it was broken.
I didn't say it was broken.
I just said it didn't work between the hours of 5:00 and 10:00.
Well, you being a police officer, I'm sure you have a fine selection of doughnuts for dessert.
You know, I am fine with you staying here, but I could really do without the cop jokes.
Well, I didn't realize the invitation came with strings.
Well, I didn't realize I invited you.
You know what your problem is? You can't take a joke.
No, my problem is, I can't take you.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Ah! And we're out.
Do you wanna head home? No.
I'd rather watch Sean and John rehearse.
Ooh! They were great.
Yeah.
They are amazing.
Uh, how long are we supposed to pretend that this is normal? It is normal.
Where? On planet giant-egg-head? Ha! I am incubating a new species.
Something that will change scientific history.
Now, why don't you Fluffy ones go home and change, well, everything about yourselves.
Tinka, you don't have to make a science project.
You are a science project.
Ha! Ha! And that's what I think of your steamin' potatoes! Wow, and I thought we missed dinner.
And I have never met a judge-ier person.
And as a cop I spend a lot of time in a courtroom with actual judges.
Oh, yeah, well, I own two hair salons and I've swept up more hair on your floor.
Mom-mom-moms, moms.
I think someone needs a little time-out.
Right? Good idea, baby.
We're taking a time out.
At a hotel! No, that's really not necessary.
Why don't we just wait until tomorrow? Oh, no, no, it is necessary.
In fact, if you need a police escort, I would be happy to oblige.
Ty! Now! Oh! Let me get the door.
No, mom, don't let them leave! How'd she do that? Bye, little man.
Don't forget to feed the cats.
Forget the cats.
Who's gonna train the spider monkey? Rocky, ty, let's go.
Wait! I have something to say.
What? Can I sleep over at Cece's tonight? Ma! Shake it up! hurry, the judges are coming.
Come out and show us your feathers, or your teeth, or claws.
Oh, as long as it's born healthy, I don't care.
Welcome to the opposable thumb.
The thing that separates man from beast.
Except maybe gorillas.
I don't know.
Participant.
Yeah! Uh, Cece, you know that just means you showed up, right? Yeah! So, uh, how's the hotel? Oh, it's cool.
There's a jacuzzi there.
Man, it's hard not to pee in those.
You know, I'm really embarrassed about my mom's temper.
No, don't be embarrassed.
I'm sure my mom did her part to fan the flames.
Belie me, she really knows how to push a person's buttons.
I guess you're right.
I've got a potato thrower and you've got a control freak.
Excuse me? What? I'm just agreeing with you.
Oh, is that what you heard? 'Cause I heard you call my mom a name.
You know, Rocky, it really frightens me when you move your head like that.
Oh, so, now I scare you, do I? Doing it again! Well, I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Unless your mom Chucks it against the door! Hey, you know, you're trashing my family pretty good considering we let you stay with us.
Let us stay? You insisted! We wanted to stay in a hotel, but no, as usual, everyone has to do what Cece wants.
Oh, miss holier-than-thou.
Oh, miss I'm-always-so-perfect.
So, so, perfect.
That's what you are, perfect.
Stop it! Get your stupid thumb off of my eye! Get your eye off my thumb.
Huh? Huh, huh, huh! Well, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
You know, Tinka, I should have papier-macheed a butt so I could tell you to kiss it.
Yeah.
Why don't you mind your own business and pay attention to your little egg mcmonster.
Yeah, it's not like we actually believe there's anything in there.
No! I am so sorry.
Is it all right? Yes, I saved it.
Oh my, it's hatching.
Here comes a new hessenhefer! It's beautiful! Come to momma, baby.
What the heck is that? Uh, I thought only sharks had three sets of teeth.
Oh, look, it's kissing my finger.
Look, it's sucking my finger.
Look, look, it's sucking the blood from my finger.
It's eating my finger.
Get it off of my finger! I hate to admit it, but she really does deserve that first place.
Hey, honey! How was the science fair? I won a ribbon.
What? Participant! Yes! You know, mom, you were so right about Rocky and her family.
Well, it's a good thing we found out now how impossible they are.
I know.
If we couldn't handle two days with them in the apartment, there's no way we could handle two weeks with them in the road shark 3,000.
Yeah, that trip is off.
Yeah, would have been a painful donkey ride with this butt.
What? The trip's off? Oh, yeah, honey, it's complicated No it's not! You promised we were going on this trip and now you're bailing on me, just like dad! Flynn! I'll get him, mom.
How you doin', little bro? You look sad.
Wow.
No one can read me like you can.
Flynn, it's just hard for a kid your age to understand what this is all about.
Oh, I understand what it's all about.
It's about you, it's about Rocky, it's about mom, it's about Ms.
blue.
It's about everyone but me.
Just like always.
Always? Did I get ice cream when you had your tonsils out? Yes.
You took mine! Really? Then I got nothin'.
I'm really sorry, Flynn.
Hey, Cece, can I have a minute alone with Flynn? Yeah.
I kinda gotta go call Rocky anyway.
Go away.
You killed the road shark.
I know, baby.
I know.
Stop it, I don't wanna be warm, I wanna freeze here like an old popsicle.
Did you bring a hat? This is not my hat.
I know, sometimes I make mistakes.
Tell me about it.
All right, I will.
I work too much.
I'm not a very good cook.
I'm really, really backed up on laundry and sometimes my pride gets me in stupid fights I have no business being in.
But I do one thing perfectly, I love you as much as any mother has ever loved her son.
I do that perfect.
If that were true, I'd be wearing a baseball cap.
I'm sorry, I should have known how much this trip meant to you, and I should never have messed it up.
I mean, I know how hard the divorce was on you and how your dad has disappointed you, and now I am, too.
And flynny, it breaks my heart.
Hey, mom, for crying out loud, man up.
You're so tough, aren't you? As tough as I can be in this hat.
Have I told you I loved you? Only about a million times.
But what I really want to hear is you're gonna make up with Rocky's mom.
And the trip is back on.
Yes! Yes! I will! And you're gonna get to ride a donkey in the grand canyon.
So, is there anything, you know, you wanna say to me? Boil some water.
My butt's frozen to the stoop.
One, two, three! Uh-oh! Ty! Ty, come on out! We need to talk! Oh, hey Ms.
j.
I'd love to let you in, but club man cave is at capacity, and I don't see your name on the list.
About that.
It's over.
Your heat has been on for a week.
You need to take all this down and go home.
Oh, come on Ms.
j Ty! Now! Okay, I'm shutting it down.
Everybody out! The cops are shutting us down.
Come on.
Keep it moving, people.
Keep it moving.
Sorry.
There you go.
Like your hair.
Bye.
Hey! What? Sh-sh-sh-shake it up shake it up