Star vs. the Forces of Evil (2015) s01e12 Episode Script

1 [title music plays.]
It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension It's gonna get a little weird Gonna have a good time! I ain't from round here I'm from another whoo-hoo! Yea-ah! I'm talking rainbows I'm talking puppies Puh-puh-puh-puh-puh- puh-puh-pu-uuhh! It's gonna get a little weird gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension! Yeah! Whoo-hoo! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hoo-hoo! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Aah! Seriously, Star, there's nothing to be excited about.
- It's just - The best day of my life! We're going on a field trip! Cork it, princess.
I can't believe we're actually doing this.
[gasps.]
He's so cute! I just wanna gobble him up.
I hope Jackie likes it as much as you.
- Ooh.
Conversation starter.
- Shhh.
She's right there.
Yeah, she's right there.
You go talk to her.
More than just hello? Too risky.
I might say something dumb.
This way, I let the kitty pics do the talking for me.
Ooh.
[gasps.]
Oh, I love it! She sent me an LOL.
We're communicating.
[brakes squeal.]
We're here! [shivering.]
Amazing! What is it? It's a paper clip.
Yuck.
Luckily, I got my phone.
No distractions, Mr.
Diaz.
And for the rest of you, no monkey business! This is the Echo Creek Museum of Paper Clips.
We're gonna spend the next eight hours learning about the genius of this little - Miss Skullnick! Stop.
This hurts.
- So boring! [clamoring.]
BOY: Why must she torture us? Well, you know what? Life is boring! Miss Skullnick, life is supposed to be fun.
I used to think that, but now I'm 50, and all my dreams are in the rearview mirror.
The best thing in my life is teaching you kids, - and I hate teaching you.
- That's 'cause you're doing it all wrong.
You think you can lead this trip better than me? I was born to lead.
Literally.
[raucous laughter.]
Okay, go ahead then.
When you fail, those brats might actually appreciate me for a change.
Who wants to go somewhere not boring? - I do, I do.
- Yeah! GIRL: Let's go to the morgue.
Welcome to the Dimension of Wonders and Amazements! [all cheering.]
Star! - What is this place? - Just a planet full of the most odd and unbelievable things in the universe.
No running, no yelling, no horseplay, no Hey, hey, hey, hey! You put me in charge, so rule number one: - no rules.
- No rules leads to anarchy.
When you give people the freedom to do whatever they want - I get more bars here than I do on Earth.
- they might just surprise you.
Try to have a little fun, you big old meanie.
Okay.
"Walking With Trolls.
" I heard, once you go in, you never come out.
Wait, that's cows at the hamburger factory.
Huh.
Can we jump through this light-ray thing? You don't have to ask my permission.
Fly free, my curious little sparrows.
BOTH: Yeah! Being a leader is easy.
Just say yes all the time.
Take my hand, bro.
BOTH: Yeah! Trolls are one of the universe's few ultra super centenarians, which means they live a really, really, really really long time.
I'm gonna live to be 400? And here I thought I was going through the big change.
Turns out I'm a teenager again! [cheering.]
[imitates gun firing.]
The cat is in the bag.
GIRL: Yeah! [laughing, chitters.]
Uh, guys, I don't think you're supposed to ride a Dermathian stingray like that.
Miss Star, may I jump into this ominous-looking vortex? Francis, please stop where you are and ask yourself, is this something you really want to do.
Justin, no! Um, yes, I really wanna do this.
I really didn't think this through! Oh, stop.
You guys knew this would happen.
That's not a good idea.
Sabrina! Hey, Star, isn't this great? Real great, but you might wanna come down.
Justin! Human expansion during the industrialization period of the third Nebulic Millennium gave rise to the Fierce Troll warrior.
Trolls are abnormally strong, able to lift 100 times their own body weight.
Oh, please.
There's no muscle here.
Did that just happen? No LOL, no smiley face? Nothing? Jackie.
[sighs.]
Time to drop the A-bomb of cute.
A for adorable.
[laughing.]
Chappie? [gasps.]
Blake? No, no, no, don't jump on that.
I gotcha.
[screaming.]
Why did you let me do that, Star? - Star! - Sabrina! Oh, ow, ow! Don't worry.
I I I don't even know how to help you.
"Universe's Most Deadliest Creature"? Whoa, I told you these weren't gumballs.
[purring.]
What a tease.
Star, can I get super superpowers? Star, we're hungry.
I brought snacks.
Stinks to be you.
Star, can I touch it with this? [shuddering.]
Star.
Star, meet my new BFF.
[guttural voice.]
BFF.
[stammering.]
- Star! - Star! Star!! [all calling Star.]
Can you guys just be quiet for one second? Ah, that's better.
Francis? Justin? Sabrina? Where'd everybody go? Star.
Star, guess what [gasps.]
Wait.
Where's the rest of the class? Fine, Jackie.
I get it.
I know when I'm not wanted.
[phone clatters.]
[cellphone vibrating.]
No, no, no! Please work.
Please work! H-E-L-P? What's that an acronym for? STAR: Jackie's text said they'd been captured by some monster.
Marco and I can totally handle this.
We fight monsters all the time.
I trusted you with the class for five minutes, - and you lost them.
- They're not lost.
We just don't know where they are.
- They're wherever this is.
- Wait.
I remember seeing a trail of socks right after the class disappeared.
That's where I'm starting my search.
This is it.
[kids yelling.]
Kids, don't worry.
You're gonna be home soon.
[ferocious growling.]
Okay, we have to hurry.
Jump.
I'll catch you.
- Come on, jump.
- I can't do this! Take my hand, bro.
[both yelling.]
Hurry.
Next.
- Marco! - Jackie! Hi.
Hey, yeah.
- Uh, hey, uh - Marco? I'll take care of Jackie.
You free Janna.
- Yeah, Marco, help me.
- Gaaah! Relax.
They weren't real fangs.
Unless you want them to be.
Quiet.
It's coming.
[whistling.]
[screaming.]
- All right, string monster - No! I'm back in charge, and I need you to get those kids to safety.
- Wow! - What did I say? Go, go, go! What did I say? Go, go, go! Skullnick's really got some moves.
You bet your tuchus I do Get ready to eat magic! Get that bus moving.
[cheering.]
That's how you do it.
Hey, Marco, is someone sitting there? Huh? Hi! [stammering.]
Huh, uh Yeah, you are.
- Star, hurry up.
- I'm coming.
[panting.]
Hey, Cloudy, can you put me down? Sure thing, Star.
Thanks, guys.
You're the best.
- We love you, Star.
- Love you, too.
[screaming.]
Can you do anything without magic? Sunshine Locker Slap! Love you, Star.
[neighs.]
- Hmm.
- "You use too much magic.
" Blah blah blah blah! [blows raspberry.]
Hey, Marco.
Hey, Blake.
Sweet beard.
Oh, thanks, Jackie.
I grew it last night.
JACKIE: So full.
One night? I've been working on mine for weeks.
Well, do you know what the quickest way to grow a beard is? - Is it magic? - It's magic!! I'll stick with my peach fuzz, thanks.
This may not be much, but it's mine.
Marco, I've got a magic wand.
I might as well use it.
Sometimes there's a sense of satisfaction in doing things yourself.
- Let me put a beard on you! - MARCO: No, don't touch it! I did it.
I grew a beard! USA, USA! Congratulations, Marco.
It looks really good on you.
Star, why are you making that face? What face? I don't make face.
You used magic on me, didn't you? - [shuddering.]
Nope.
- Oh, come on, Star.
Oh, you come on.
You look so good in your little beard-y.
I wanted to grow it myself! [yelling.]
Star, my face Wow.
That is a lot of hair.
Don't you worry your pretty little face, Marco.
It's nothing a little magic can't fix.
Sparkle Razor Shave! Oh, that's a taquito.
Hm.
But where's my wand? It's gotta be around here somewhere.
Where is it?! Wand? Wand! I must've dropped it in the bathroom when Marco's face exploded.
Okay, think, Star.
What would a normal person without a wand do? Work, work, work, work, work, work, work.
Ahh.
That's no help.
Wait a second.
I got it! Normal person.
[gasps.]
I'm comin' for you, Marco! Oh, man, this would be a lot easier if I had the wand.
But at least I got you, Mr.
Hedge Clippers.
[as hedge clippers.]
Yeah, you don't need no stinkin' wand.
I wanna cut more! I have location on the wand.
It's inside the house, and it's ours for the taking.
That's a house? It's covered in h-hair.
Maybe we should come back another time.
Of course.
It's just, the wand has never been unattended before.
[all exclaim.]
Fine.
But you idiots are going to carry me.
I don't want a single hair touching me.
Hold still, you dumb bird.
What are you waiting for? Hurry up.
Protect me.
[muffled yelling.]
[music.]
Man, not having a wand isn't so bad.
I bet I'm all the way to [grunts.]
I'm still in the living room?! Ugh.
Mr.
Hedge Clippers! Avenge me! Keep moving.
What's the hold-up? - Master Ludo, can't we take a break? - I'm dehydrated.
[clucking.]
No breaks.
This is taking forever.
Let's go.
Do your job! The wand is that way.
We're close.
Well, clear the path and move it, you idiots.
Here.
[groans.]
I'm stuck.
[crying.]
I wish I had my wand.
[barking.]
Oh, there, there, little guy.
You stuck here, too? Oh, I'm so tired, and his hair is so soft.
Maybe we should take a little nap together.
Star? Star Butterfly? Hello.
Who's there? It is I, Laser Puppy.
Ooh.
I thought you couldn't get any cuter, but look at you.
Thank you.
I wag my tail humbly.
You must not give up.
Marco needs you.
But it's just so hard without my wand.
Let me remind you of a time before your wand, when a precocious pre-teen got mixed up with snakes, goblins and ghouls, all while looking super cute.
Oh, my gosh, I was adorable.
You never needed your wand before.
Why do you need it now? Also, I'm a puppy that shoots lasers out of my eyes.
The choice is yours, Star Butterfly.
Either rise up and conquer or wither here and die.
[voice echoing.]
[gasps.]
[lasers firing.]
- Ludo.
What are you doing here? - Aah It's the girl.
[all roar.]
Wait.
The wand is that way.
Don't take her.
Get the wand! [Marco speaking indistinctly.]
Uh, yeah, the bathroom is occupied.
Well Master, the wand is yours.
[screaming.]
We've got someone who wants to wish you a very giggly birthday, Ludo.
Here comes the tickle monster.
Tickle, tickle, tickle.
[laughing.]
[sobbing.]
[sobbing.]
[laughing.]
It tickles.
- It's my birthday.
- Hey, where is she? Normally, I'd blast you guys with narwhals right now, but hey, you don't need magic for everything.
[car alarm chirps.]
Oh, my gosh, Marco.
I was looking everywhere for you.
[muffled.]
I'm so itchy.
Please help me.
You're right.
I was using my wand too much.
But I am Star Butterfly, an independent woman with fists like hammers.
[muffled.]
I don't care.
Just get rid of the hair! And now, I shall shave this beard off of you with this tiny razor, just like a normal person.
Thank you, Marco, for teaching me such a valuable lesson.
[shaving slowly.]
[Marco screaming.]
What a pathetic display back there! You guys make me sick! No more milkshake privileges for you.
[all grumbling.]
I want you to use that time to think about what you've done.
Perhaps they should use that time - to think about what you've done.
- Exactly.
Wait, what? Let me ask you a question.
What kind of leader throws you into a pit of hair, makes you do all the work, and shows you no appreciation for your sacrifices? Are you talking about me? What kind of leader has all the power in the universe at his fingertips, - and gets tickled right out of it? - Toffee, what are you doing? Your soldiers deserve better.
[sputtering.]
- You are fired! - Let's put it to your soldiers.
Who's the better leader, Ludo or me? [all talking at once.]
You guys belong to me.
Three-eyed potato baby, I am like a father to you.
Beard deer, I took you in off the streets.
Are you stupid imbeciles really going to listen to him?! [screams.]
[grunts.]
You can't do this.
This is my castle! Those are my monsters! - Not anymore.
- Toffee I think Earth is a pretty great place That's saying something 'Cause I've been through outer space I think it suits me, it's just my style I think I'm gonna stay a little while I think that strangers are just friends You haven't met I'm blasting monsters and I never break a sweat I'm really thinking I could call this place home