Switched at Birth s01e12 Episode Script
The Tempest
Previously on "Switched at birth" she doesn't like me.
Here.
- All yours.
- Okay, here we go.
One more time, ladies.
Let's go.
Hi, Tina Choi.
"Kansas city Herald.
" Kathryn, did you read this article? We sound totally Fine about missing out on raising our own daughters.
Simone is one of bay's good friends.
Well, used to be good friend-- or actually I don't know.
- Can I see your hearing aids? - It doesn't turn off my brain.
Only my ears.
Get in here now! ?T× she don't know what she wants to be ?T× ?T× all the pictures in the magazines ?T× ?T× holding hands when she's mad at me ?T× ?T× 'cause she don't want to go, don't want to go ?T× - ?T× I met her at ?T× - excuse me.
Are you okay? Oh, just fine.
Thanks.
Can we hurry up, please? ?T× Singing "Oh oh" ?T× ?T× won't you help me sing this song? ?T× ?T× Singing the eee eee ?T× ?T× she don't ever want to go to sleep ?T× ?T× singing Hey, mama, don't let me drive off ?T× ?T× just a kiss before I leave ?T× ?T× hey, lady, don't say maybe ?T× ?T× you're the one that I can believe ?T× ?T× Hey, mama, hey hey, mama ?T× ?T× come on, oh ?T× ?T× uh-oh uh-oh oh oh ?T× ?T× uh-oh uh-oh oh oh ?T× I don't think we can use that one.
Because it's staged.
We told those guys to act like we weren't there.
So to really be planking, you can't stage or photoshop Anything.
What are you looking for? Aha Ha ha-- funny.
I'm just saying True art, it needs to be authentic.
People can sense when something is phony.
Okay, stop! Stop that.
Oh, he-- hello.
Hi.
Something without something? I can't talk you know what? Maybe I should go.
Okay, Bye.
Oh, heels and an apron-- how "Mad men" of you, mom.
- I have a meeting today.
- Yowza, nice outfit.
You should bring this next time we go somewhere.
- Ew.
- Ew.
Who are you meeting? Oh, Tina Choi.
The reporter from the "Kansas city Herald.
" - Oh Yeah.
- Yeah, she called your mother.
She wants to check in and see how we're doing.
I told Wilke I'd meet him early.
So I'm gonna head out.
All right, well, I'm gonna let her know how we felt about her she doesn't do it again.
Re it might be without the apron.
Or just add a wooden spoon Maybe.
Ha ha, very very funny.
Yeah, they get that from me.
What's up with the fancy breakfast? What? There has to be a reason? Uh, Yeah.
Well, we haven't had much time to talk since you went to that music festival.
There wasn't much to talk about.
What about bay and Emmett? What about them? They're dating.
You didn't tell me.
I didn't think it was important.
It's not like Emmett and I are dating.
No, but-- you two spent a lot of time together.
Emmett and I will still see each other.
We have like four classes together.
I just I wish that you two hadn't been so exclusive, that's all.
It seems like you're of time by yourself,t now that he and bay are together.
I'm fine, Mom.
Okay.
What the hell is a "capibra" And why do we need to spend $400 to buy one? Capybara.
It's a 200lb rodent.
And we aren't buying, we're renting-- you need permits to buy one.
I don't want to rent or buy a capybara.
I want to make a video that showcases our music, not a giant rodent.
And it will! But you've gotta have a hook to get them to look at you, then you deliver the goods.
Bam! Okay, I get it-- we need to make a flashy music video.
But how are we gonna pay for it? Our parents aren't going to give us the money.
I know.
How unfair is that? You run up a few gambling debts, steal one test, and suddenly they treat you like a criminal.
I do know one way we can make some money.
How do I just know This is gonna suck? I wasn't expecting to see you until later.
I'll see you at school.
And you too-- I have cooking class today.
Yeah, what was that about? I can't follow you when you're talking with her.
You did? That's great! But Why was she mad? I mean, she talks, Daphne talks.
She must have a reason for not wanting you to take it.
She thinks that I made you? And if I did ask you to? But I do.
Emmett, she is not just your mom.
She's my mom's best friend.
She coaches Daphne's team with my Dad.
I can't have her hate me.
Oh, she does.
She hates me.
Emmett, I-- ?T× If I didn't know you ?T× ?T× I'd turn a blind eye ?T× the Ref didn't even believe she hit me until the doctor looked at my elbow after the game.
- No foul? - Nope.
But we got our revenge.
Scored 12 more points - on of her by the end of the quarter.
- Oh, that's awesome! I mean, I'm sorry you got hurt, but it must be so fun to play that hard.
Oh Yeah.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Do you know Simone? - Uh, yeah, since like kindergarten.
How's that Mr.
Waffles? Cutest dog Ever.
He died last summer.
Oh.
You guys are in cooking class Together.
Yeah, Daphne pulled my Bacon out of the fire today.
Always looking to save that pig.
She's a vegetarian, so she-- you know what? It's cool.
Forget it.
Hey, thanks for sticking me with the cleanup.
Oh, but it's so much fun watching you - try to figure out how soap works.
- Aha.
First Bell.
Later.
Hey, we should play hoops together sometime.
There's actually a pick-up game this afternoon.
You should totally come by.
We want to start right at the beginning.
Before you even had the babies-- the hopes you and John Had for your little golden girl, the trepidation Regina must have had, being a single mother with An unreliable boyfriend and a drinking problem.
Wait.
H-How do you know all of this? I'm a reporter.
and-- and how could you possibly get all that happened into one follow-up article? - Article? - Yeah.
No, we're talking about a book.
We've never had as much response to an article as we have to that piece I did on your family.
We're still getting emails from people wanting to know how you are, how it really happened.
- Wow.
- Yeah, it's a natural.
People love this kind of True-life-horror- story- with-a-happy-ending.
Like that little girl that was kidnapped and held captive for 18 years and found alive.
Okay, we are not a horror story and have no intention of being turned into one.
Kathryn, however you characterize it, it is a great story, someone is going to tell it-- authorized or not.
Not that I would tell it unauthorized, of course.
- Of course not.
- You don't want to wait on this.
You want to get out in front of it-- and with someone you trust.
Someone who shares your midwestern values.
Like you? Absolutely.
Okay, the cars roll out, you wipe them down, you make sure the tires are clean, then you flap your towel for the customer.
Don't leave rags on the car.
And you will be wearing these.
No offense, Mr.
Kennish, but we don't wanna holster the guns.
That's how we're gonna get the big tips.
Heh! Good luck with that.
All right.
?T× I got it under control ?T× ?T× control control control ?T× ?T× I got it under control ?T× - check it.
- So what's the sign for "You're going down"? - you're about to find out.
- Tied game, last basket wins.
?T× They can't figure me out ?T× - ?T× and while I run away ?T× - shoot it.
?T× I got it under control.
?T× Nice.
- Hey, Sorry about that.
- I'm not! Way to let out let those killer Instincts.
Hey, I was thinking about Hitting up crossroads for first fridays.
There's supposed to be this amazing Thai food truck.
You interested? I would love to, but I'm actually going to Joey's - with some of these guys.
- Oh.
That's okay.
Next time.
No, this time.
You should come with us.
- Who's Joey? - No no, Joey's is this club near U.
M.
K.
C.
Lots of cute college guys.
It's over-21 though.
You need a fake.
That's not a problem.
Cool, I'll text you the info then.
Sweet.
Hey, coach.
I'm coach Medlock.
Do you have a second? Oh-- uh, ahhh.
I-- I didn't see you.
There.
Oh, uh, Yeah.
Uh sometimes I like to-- to see how the colors are working in the natural light.
You know what? Never mind.
It's not important.
Are-- are you here to see Regina? Uh-- Oh, wait.
I just-- I want you to know that speech therapy was Emmett's idea.
I didn't ask him to take it.
You didn't have to.
- Hey.
- Hey Hey, sweetie, perfect timing! Listen, I'm thinking about changing the starting line up.
I'm thinking about moving Jennifer to forward and pulling Emily back for defense.
I think-- - uh, coach Medlock wants me to play for Buckner.
Of course he does.
He has an excellent eye for talent.
Yeah, he saw me playing a pick-up game at Buckner today, and he knows that I play for Carlton, and so he asked me to join the team! Except you're already on another team.
This is Buckner.
They're like a million times Better.
Sweetie, I know this is incredibly flattering and we can revisit this at the end of the year.
Or even at the end of the season.
But you don't quit your team.
- Okay? - Right.
Right, okay.
So what do you think of Jennifer at forward? - That's good, right? - Yeah Sure.
We put her at the three position and Emily is gonna be much more helpful with you on defense.
When you guys are pressing, we have someone there who can actually move.
right? Okay, wait, you, me, your mom-- wait.
What-- okay.
what? No! No! No no no no no! We will avoid her.
Yes.
No! Oh Oh, that looks weird.
- Now I have to go.
- Hey, um, I just wanted to say that you guys make a really cute Couple.
Uh, Regina? Yeah? What are you doing tomorrow night? Wilke! - Hey.
- You're here and there's no cooking class today.
I knew you were stalking me! Well, I actually had a question for you.
I figured it would be best to ask in Person.
Oh, good cover.
I I need a fake I.
D.
The guy I knew at Carlton that did 'em graduated last year.
So I thought you might know Somebody.
That could cost you a few bucks.
That's okay.
It's important.
And I'll bet there are a lot of other kids at Carlton Who also might be in the market for a fake I.
D.
Yeah, probably.
So-- do you know somebody or--? Actually, I do.
As it happens, I am the guy you're looking for.
- Really? That's great.
- Now why don't you and I go have some coffee, discuss the particulars of your I.
D.
And how we might market my services to your classmates I actually got to get back to Carlton.
We've got a game today.
But text me, okay? Thank you.
- Huh.
- Hey, what was Daphne doing here? Helping us buy a capybara.
?T× Wakey wakey ?T× ?T× no mistakey ?T× ?T× you're the smartest guy in any room for sure ?T× ?T× witty witty, such a pity ?T× ?T× your finale's just an ENDLESS overture ?T× ?T× lordy lordy, all aboardy ?T× ?T× on the track that circles round and round again ?T× ?T× 30, 30, watch the Birdie ?T× ?T× in a flash, life will pass around the bend.
?T× This is a whole video tutorial on how to make fake identity Cards.
Hey, do you mind? I still can't find mine.
- Yeah, go ahead.
- Looks like the hot tip is to make it from another State.
What are you guys doing? Starting our own small Business.
Fake I.
D.
S.
Want to get back in the pool? Give you the family rate.
- You're kidding, right? - What? You get caught now no one can have a fake I.
D.
? uh, having one and selling them are two totally different things.
I get caught, I get community service.
You get caught, you get a cell and a roommate at leavenworth.
She does have a point.
Maybe this isn't the best idea.
It's on the internet, dude.
It's just-- "a unique party favor to share with all your friends.
" What people do with them after they get them, we have no control over that.
Wow, way to rationalize.
I thought you were turning over a new leaf after the whole stealing-the-test thing.
Okay, fine.
Let's just ask your Dad for a couple extra shifts at the car wash.
At three bucks a car plus minimum wage, we should be able to fund our video about the time "Guitar face" Is ready for a reunion tour.
- Yeah, we should get some more card stock.
- And ink Cartridges.
Mm-hmm, Definitely.
Hey, mom-- what is with the books? Oh, it's just a little homework.
- What's up? - I I need some Advice.
Wait, from me? Don't look so happy about it.
That just makes it Harder.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I think Emmett's mom hates me.
Melody? Okay, why would she hate you? Em-Emmett and I have kind of-- - We've been hanging out.
- You and Emmett? I thought it was he and Daphne-- - No.
- He and I are together.
- Wait, together together? Are you two-- are you serious? Yeah, mom, it's kind of serious.
- Huh.
- Wow, really?! - it's that hard to believe We're a couple? - No no, of course not.
It's just that, well, there was liam then there's ty and now there's-- - wow.
You and melody Should get together and discuss why I am so horrible for Emmett.
She thinks he's flunking out because of me and you think I'm some sort of boy junkie.
I'm just trying to understand, honey.
He and I have way more in common than liam and I ever did.
And he's age appropriate which I thought you would appreciate.
And, mom, he gets me and I get him.
Well, then melody SHOULD consider herself lucky that her son is Dating someone as smart and caring and creative as you.
And if she doesn't, well then, it's her loss.
Mmm, no, it's my loss because once the mom disapproves of the girlfriend, it's just a matter of time.
Oh wait, we do not have as much power as you think we do.
- Really? - Really.
- Was dating Melissa remember When Toby mm - hmm, do you - the hippie Chick? - I never said a word! You didn't have to! Which is why I have to get melody to like me.
So Regina and I are going to go over there and the plan is to try and convince her that I'm not the antichrist.
Except I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to make her like me.
Honey, just be yourself.
Yeah, that's easy for you to say.
People like you.
They do not like me.
So I don't want to be myself tonight.
I want-- to be you.
Honey, you're-- you could lighten up a little on the sarcasm.
Mm-hmm.
- And bring artichoke dip.
Oh, I love your artichoke dip.
Everybody does.
It sounds like a vegetable and it's full of Mayo and cheese.
There is no way melody Can resist that.
Thank you.
You'll win her over.
I hope so.
Can I come in? Yeah sure.
I'm just taking a little break.
So you in business with Wilke? Yeah, it turns out he's in sales and I'm in manufacturing? He sells.
I make.
You know, now that I'm learning to sign, I am finding that we hearing people use FAR too many Words.
Well, I just hope you don't get in trouble on my account.
Ahhh.
Okay.
I need some advice.
I want to quit the Carlton basketball team and join Buckner's.
Does dad know? That's the advice I need.
You quit baseball.
Okay, so how did you do it? I don't know, I just told him I didn't want to play anymore, that sports was his thing and music was my thing.
- And he was okay with that? - Oh, hell no.
- But y'know, he had bay.
- Bay played baseball? Soccer.
For about 10 minutes until we all decided that that was a very bad idea.
But it gave him a place to put all that coaching-sports connection stuff - when I quit.
- So what'd he do with it after bay Stopped playing soccer? I dunno.
I guess it just kind of went away.
Until you showed up.
And you're not a musician, and you're not an artist I'm an athlete, like him.
The mini-me dad never had.
And he loves coaching you.
So you're telling me to stay? You asked for my advice.
You can still do what you want.
You don't have to listen to John.
But he's my Dad.
He's the whole reason I can even play basketball.
I mean genetically speaking.
Well, that doesn't give him veto power - over where you can play.
- I just want to play for a good team.
I want to win! It's the kennish in me.
I get that from him too.
Well, so do it.
He started coaching at Carlton for me.
I mean, he's doing everything he can to-- you know, do the dad thing.
So don't do it.
Carlton could get better, right? No.
Hmph.
Um, okay, now in the lousy timing department, I need to tell you that bay and I are going over to melody and Emmett's house tomorrow.
Oh.
- Okay.
- Bay feels Like melody doesn't like her.
So I thought maybe they should get to know each other better.
Okay.
Okay? That's it? What do you want me to say? I hate my basketball team.
I miss Emmett.
Angelo's back.
And I don't like sharing you with bay.
But it is what it is.
No, I believe you, it just feels wrong.
All right.
Yes.
Okay.
That was our lawyer-- Amanda.
- And? She says Tina Choi is right.
If she or anyone else wants to use public record and gossip to write a book about us, they can.
She had no other suggestions? To collaborate with her, try to influence what she writes.
Is that such a bad idea? Tina Choi wants to make us sound like freaks! Regina is the single alcoholic mother with the sweet handicapped child.
We're the midwestern royalty saddled with raising the RAVEN-haired hell raiser.
She said that? In So many words.
If I sign on to collaborate with her, she's not going to listen to what I have to say she's gonna use my name to legitimize whatever salacious slant she thinks is gonna sell books.
I'll call Amanda.
Why? You think she's going to tell you something different than she told me? I don't know.
Maybe.
- I'll give her a push.
- I pushed.
That's her answer.
I can handle it.
Okay.
So what's your zodiac sign? Libra.
My birthday is October 22nd.
No, your birthday is June 24th-- - it's cancer.
- Right.
Sorry.
I'm a little nervous.
Hey, uh, mom made some extra artichoke dip.
It's Toby's favorite.
Where is he? - He's getting ink Cartridges.
- Lots of Carlton kids in need of novelty I.
D.
S.
Mmm, this stuff is amazing.
- You have a fake I.
D.
? - yep.
Daphne Rabinsky from pleasantville, New York.
I'm going to Joey's tonight with Simone and some other girls from the Buckner basketball team.
Thanks, Wilke.
- Mm-hmm.
Excellent.
Toby Would've loved it.
- Hey.
- Yeah? I just wanted to tell you to, uh uh-- be careful with Simone.
- What do you mean? - Simone can be kind of what? You know what? Never mind.
Wow! You got Emmett.
You dated Ty.
You didn't want me to be with liam and now you're warning me off of someone you're not even friends with anymore? You're right.
My bad.
Have a good time.
I will.
Hi.
Oh, um, artichoke dip.
No, it was me and my mom.
My other Mom.
Don't interpret for me.
I want melody to see that I'm trying.
Okay.
Let the games begin.
- Now what? - The bouncer barely even looked at your I.
D.
- Where did you get this? - Wilke.
I am so talking to him tomorrow.
Or maybe tonight.
Wilke, you're too early.
I don't have my beer goggles on yet.
Oh! Usually by 9:00 that's all you were wearing.
Wait Wait-- were you guys together? - Briefly.
- And then I released him into the wild.
Hey, we've got a table.
Come on, you can bring your friend here, as long as he promises to do everything we say.
- I'm in.
- Wilke.
- What are you doing here? - You invited me.
Well, you told me where you'd be, who you'd be with.
In Some cultures That'd be considered a marriage proposal.
- I'm serious.
- And I make you laugh, that's why we're so good together.
We're not together.
We're just friends.
So I completely misread the making out in the car, the heart-to-heart conversation on the dock-- I might have sent some mixed signals.
But it doesn't change how I feel.
I love talking to you, Wilke-- but you're just not my type.
So what's your type? Deaf and into bay? - This is not about Emmett.
- Really? - It's not! - Okay.
Well, message received.
You want that? Park place is a good property.
I'm sorry.
I missed a lot of that.
I like to win too.
Ahem, Daphne's the only-- - I got it.
It's fine.
I know that you guys hang out a lot.
What did I do? You signed "Hang out" Wrong.
You said "I know you guys get circumcised a lot.
" You're laughing at me.
Melody, Stop.
You know what? This obviously-- thank you for the lovely evening.
I'll just-- I'll text you.
I'll drive you.
What's the matter with you? Bay is my daughter and your son's girlfriend.
You owe her an apology.
No way! ?T× You're still a stranger ?T× ?T× you've got no shame ?T× ?T× I'll watch you walking ?T× Oh, all teeth.
And I'm betting he had salami for dinner.
Eww! What did you say to him? - "Wanna make out?" - subtle.
Okay, Daphne, your turn.
No no no, Daphne's not a part of the team yet, so she doesn't have to take the dare.
I'm sorry, it's kinda dark in here.
What'd you say? - You don't have to take the dare.
- Pffft! You think I can't do it? Pick the guy.
Here's to the competitive spirit.
Okay, um, let's see him.
- "Do you wanna make out"? - it works every Time.
- Hi.
- Hi.
don't look now, but my friends over there dared me to come over here and kiss you.
Do you mind? - Not a bit.
- I'll take that as a yes then.
?T× I hope you're happy ?T× - ?T× it's such a shame ?T× - girl, yeah! ?T× You wear the snakeskin ?T× what the hell are you doing? She came on to me! - It was a dare.
- Do I look stupid to you? Excuse me, but my friend's colostomy bag is about to explode.
How could you do that to me? - Come on.
- I go to the bathroom - Let's get out of here.
- Did you just say I have a colostomy bag? - Let's go.
- Hey, we need to pay.
Oh, um, I'll take care of it.
I'll meet you guys out front.
- Okay, Cool.
- Hey, um, I am so Sorry about that.
What're you talking about? That was really fun! Okay, good.
- I'll see you in a second.
- Okay.
?T× All into shapes ?T× ?T× and into shards ?T× ?T× we smash like glass ?T× ?T× we fall like stars ?T× ?T× leave it alone.
?T× Snooki polizzi wrote a book.
Valerie bertinelli, she wrote a book.
Kendra Wilkinson-- she wrote two.
Who's Kendra Wilkinson? - One of Hugh Hefner's ex-girlfriends.
And Keith Richards? He pickled his brain on heroin and meth for 20 years and even he wrote a book.
Actually I think Keith wrote this with Somebody.
Whatever.
The point is if all of these people can write Books about their lives, why can't I? No one knows my story better than I do.
And I got straight "A"s in english all through college-- INCLUDING Two Upper-Division creative writing classes.
And if I get stuck, I can always get someone to help me.
Like Kendra? Honey.
What do you think? I think it is an outstanding idea.
- Really? - Yeah.
- You know what I say? - Hmm? I say Tina Choi can go pound sand.
Ah Ah ahh ah! - But-- she is a total bitch.
- Honestly, I've never seen her like that-- so it's me.
I bring out the worst in her? - I didn't say that.
- It can't be because I'm hearing.
You're hearing and she loves you.
I don't think Emmett's ever been this serious about someone before.
I think it's probably just scary for her to think about losing him.
Okay, so the mama bear syndrome? That makes it all right? - I didn't say that.
- You are totally defending her.
She's my best friend.
She's been there for me and I owe her a lot.
That's right, I forgot-- and you don't owe me anything.
- Bay.
Do you ever notice that there is always someone between us? Hey, forget your key? No.
I saw you through the window.
I needed to talk to you.
Sure.
What's up? I decided to take coach Medlock's offer.
I'm going to join the Buckner team.
I thought we discussed this.
No, I floated the idea and you shot it down.
I shot-- I didn't shoot anything down.
I simply reminded you that you happen to be committed to another team.
It's not even a team! No one cares if we win except me and you! Daphne, I know this is frustrating, but we're building.
These things take time.
You are always telling us to take the shot when we get the chance because we might not get another one.
Well, that's what I'm doing.
We're in the middle of a season.
Okay, sweetie, you cannot quit your team.
- Do not quit your team.
- I know you don't care about this, but there are so many things in my life that I don't like-- - I do care about this.
-- -And can't change.
I can change.
Hing I'm sorry.
I know you're mad, but I'm doing it.
Good night.
Here.
- All yours.
- Okay, here we go.
One more time, ladies.
Let's go.
Hi, Tina Choi.
"Kansas city Herald.
" Kathryn, did you read this article? We sound totally Fine about missing out on raising our own daughters.
Simone is one of bay's good friends.
Well, used to be good friend-- or actually I don't know.
- Can I see your hearing aids? - It doesn't turn off my brain.
Only my ears.
Get in here now! ?T× she don't know what she wants to be ?T× ?T× all the pictures in the magazines ?T× ?T× holding hands when she's mad at me ?T× ?T× 'cause she don't want to go, don't want to go ?T× - ?T× I met her at ?T× - excuse me.
Are you okay? Oh, just fine.
Thanks.
Can we hurry up, please? ?T× Singing "Oh oh" ?T× ?T× won't you help me sing this song? ?T× ?T× Singing the eee eee ?T× ?T× she don't ever want to go to sleep ?T× ?T× singing Hey, mama, don't let me drive off ?T× ?T× just a kiss before I leave ?T× ?T× hey, lady, don't say maybe ?T× ?T× you're the one that I can believe ?T× ?T× Hey, mama, hey hey, mama ?T× ?T× come on, oh ?T× ?T× uh-oh uh-oh oh oh ?T× ?T× uh-oh uh-oh oh oh ?T× I don't think we can use that one.
Because it's staged.
We told those guys to act like we weren't there.
So to really be planking, you can't stage or photoshop Anything.
What are you looking for? Aha Ha ha-- funny.
I'm just saying True art, it needs to be authentic.
People can sense when something is phony.
Okay, stop! Stop that.
Oh, he-- hello.
Hi.
Something without something? I can't talk you know what? Maybe I should go.
Okay, Bye.
Oh, heels and an apron-- how "Mad men" of you, mom.
- I have a meeting today.
- Yowza, nice outfit.
You should bring this next time we go somewhere.
- Ew.
- Ew.
Who are you meeting? Oh, Tina Choi.
The reporter from the "Kansas city Herald.
" - Oh Yeah.
- Yeah, she called your mother.
She wants to check in and see how we're doing.
I told Wilke I'd meet him early.
So I'm gonna head out.
All right, well, I'm gonna let her know how we felt about her she doesn't do it again.
Re it might be without the apron.
Or just add a wooden spoon Maybe.
Ha ha, very very funny.
Yeah, they get that from me.
What's up with the fancy breakfast? What? There has to be a reason? Uh, Yeah.
Well, we haven't had much time to talk since you went to that music festival.
There wasn't much to talk about.
What about bay and Emmett? What about them? They're dating.
You didn't tell me.
I didn't think it was important.
It's not like Emmett and I are dating.
No, but-- you two spent a lot of time together.
Emmett and I will still see each other.
We have like four classes together.
I just I wish that you two hadn't been so exclusive, that's all.
It seems like you're of time by yourself,t now that he and bay are together.
I'm fine, Mom.
Okay.
What the hell is a "capibra" And why do we need to spend $400 to buy one? Capybara.
It's a 200lb rodent.
And we aren't buying, we're renting-- you need permits to buy one.
I don't want to rent or buy a capybara.
I want to make a video that showcases our music, not a giant rodent.
And it will! But you've gotta have a hook to get them to look at you, then you deliver the goods.
Bam! Okay, I get it-- we need to make a flashy music video.
But how are we gonna pay for it? Our parents aren't going to give us the money.
I know.
How unfair is that? You run up a few gambling debts, steal one test, and suddenly they treat you like a criminal.
I do know one way we can make some money.
How do I just know This is gonna suck? I wasn't expecting to see you until later.
I'll see you at school.
And you too-- I have cooking class today.
Yeah, what was that about? I can't follow you when you're talking with her.
You did? That's great! But Why was she mad? I mean, she talks, Daphne talks.
She must have a reason for not wanting you to take it.
She thinks that I made you? And if I did ask you to? But I do.
Emmett, she is not just your mom.
She's my mom's best friend.
She coaches Daphne's team with my Dad.
I can't have her hate me.
Oh, she does.
She hates me.
Emmett, I-- ?T× If I didn't know you ?T× ?T× I'd turn a blind eye ?T× the Ref didn't even believe she hit me until the doctor looked at my elbow after the game.
- No foul? - Nope.
But we got our revenge.
Scored 12 more points - on of her by the end of the quarter.
- Oh, that's awesome! I mean, I'm sorry you got hurt, but it must be so fun to play that hard.
Oh Yeah.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Do you know Simone? - Uh, yeah, since like kindergarten.
How's that Mr.
Waffles? Cutest dog Ever.
He died last summer.
Oh.
You guys are in cooking class Together.
Yeah, Daphne pulled my Bacon out of the fire today.
Always looking to save that pig.
She's a vegetarian, so she-- you know what? It's cool.
Forget it.
Hey, thanks for sticking me with the cleanup.
Oh, but it's so much fun watching you - try to figure out how soap works.
- Aha.
First Bell.
Later.
Hey, we should play hoops together sometime.
There's actually a pick-up game this afternoon.
You should totally come by.
We want to start right at the beginning.
Before you even had the babies-- the hopes you and John Had for your little golden girl, the trepidation Regina must have had, being a single mother with An unreliable boyfriend and a drinking problem.
Wait.
H-How do you know all of this? I'm a reporter.
and-- and how could you possibly get all that happened into one follow-up article? - Article? - Yeah.
No, we're talking about a book.
We've never had as much response to an article as we have to that piece I did on your family.
We're still getting emails from people wanting to know how you are, how it really happened.
- Wow.
- Yeah, it's a natural.
People love this kind of True-life-horror- story- with-a-happy-ending.
Like that little girl that was kidnapped and held captive for 18 years and found alive.
Okay, we are not a horror story and have no intention of being turned into one.
Kathryn, however you characterize it, it is a great story, someone is going to tell it-- authorized or not.
Not that I would tell it unauthorized, of course.
- Of course not.
- You don't want to wait on this.
You want to get out in front of it-- and with someone you trust.
Someone who shares your midwestern values.
Like you? Absolutely.
Okay, the cars roll out, you wipe them down, you make sure the tires are clean, then you flap your towel for the customer.
Don't leave rags on the car.
And you will be wearing these.
No offense, Mr.
Kennish, but we don't wanna holster the guns.
That's how we're gonna get the big tips.
Heh! Good luck with that.
All right.
?T× I got it under control ?T× ?T× control control control ?T× ?T× I got it under control ?T× - check it.
- So what's the sign for "You're going down"? - you're about to find out.
- Tied game, last basket wins.
?T× They can't figure me out ?T× - ?T× and while I run away ?T× - shoot it.
?T× I got it under control.
?T× Nice.
- Hey, Sorry about that.
- I'm not! Way to let out let those killer Instincts.
Hey, I was thinking about Hitting up crossroads for first fridays.
There's supposed to be this amazing Thai food truck.
You interested? I would love to, but I'm actually going to Joey's - with some of these guys.
- Oh.
That's okay.
Next time.
No, this time.
You should come with us.
- Who's Joey? - No no, Joey's is this club near U.
M.
K.
C.
Lots of cute college guys.
It's over-21 though.
You need a fake.
That's not a problem.
Cool, I'll text you the info then.
Sweet.
Hey, coach.
I'm coach Medlock.
Do you have a second? Oh-- uh, ahhh.
I-- I didn't see you.
There.
Oh, uh, Yeah.
Uh sometimes I like to-- to see how the colors are working in the natural light.
You know what? Never mind.
It's not important.
Are-- are you here to see Regina? Uh-- Oh, wait.
I just-- I want you to know that speech therapy was Emmett's idea.
I didn't ask him to take it.
You didn't have to.
- Hey.
- Hey Hey, sweetie, perfect timing! Listen, I'm thinking about changing the starting line up.
I'm thinking about moving Jennifer to forward and pulling Emily back for defense.
I think-- - uh, coach Medlock wants me to play for Buckner.
Of course he does.
He has an excellent eye for talent.
Yeah, he saw me playing a pick-up game at Buckner today, and he knows that I play for Carlton, and so he asked me to join the team! Except you're already on another team.
This is Buckner.
They're like a million times Better.
Sweetie, I know this is incredibly flattering and we can revisit this at the end of the year.
Or even at the end of the season.
But you don't quit your team.
- Okay? - Right.
Right, okay.
So what do you think of Jennifer at forward? - That's good, right? - Yeah Sure.
We put her at the three position and Emily is gonna be much more helpful with you on defense.
When you guys are pressing, we have someone there who can actually move.
right? Okay, wait, you, me, your mom-- wait.
What-- okay.
what? No! No! No no no no no! We will avoid her.
Yes.
No! Oh Oh, that looks weird.
- Now I have to go.
- Hey, um, I just wanted to say that you guys make a really cute Couple.
Uh, Regina? Yeah? What are you doing tomorrow night? Wilke! - Hey.
- You're here and there's no cooking class today.
I knew you were stalking me! Well, I actually had a question for you.
I figured it would be best to ask in Person.
Oh, good cover.
I I need a fake I.
D.
The guy I knew at Carlton that did 'em graduated last year.
So I thought you might know Somebody.
That could cost you a few bucks.
That's okay.
It's important.
And I'll bet there are a lot of other kids at Carlton Who also might be in the market for a fake I.
D.
Yeah, probably.
So-- do you know somebody or--? Actually, I do.
As it happens, I am the guy you're looking for.
- Really? That's great.
- Now why don't you and I go have some coffee, discuss the particulars of your I.
D.
And how we might market my services to your classmates I actually got to get back to Carlton.
We've got a game today.
But text me, okay? Thank you.
- Huh.
- Hey, what was Daphne doing here? Helping us buy a capybara.
?T× Wakey wakey ?T× ?T× no mistakey ?T× ?T× you're the smartest guy in any room for sure ?T× ?T× witty witty, such a pity ?T× ?T× your finale's just an ENDLESS overture ?T× ?T× lordy lordy, all aboardy ?T× ?T× on the track that circles round and round again ?T× ?T× 30, 30, watch the Birdie ?T× ?T× in a flash, life will pass around the bend.
?T× This is a whole video tutorial on how to make fake identity Cards.
Hey, do you mind? I still can't find mine.
- Yeah, go ahead.
- Looks like the hot tip is to make it from another State.
What are you guys doing? Starting our own small Business.
Fake I.
D.
S.
Want to get back in the pool? Give you the family rate.
- You're kidding, right? - What? You get caught now no one can have a fake I.
D.
? uh, having one and selling them are two totally different things.
I get caught, I get community service.
You get caught, you get a cell and a roommate at leavenworth.
She does have a point.
Maybe this isn't the best idea.
It's on the internet, dude.
It's just-- "a unique party favor to share with all your friends.
" What people do with them after they get them, we have no control over that.
Wow, way to rationalize.
I thought you were turning over a new leaf after the whole stealing-the-test thing.
Okay, fine.
Let's just ask your Dad for a couple extra shifts at the car wash.
At three bucks a car plus minimum wage, we should be able to fund our video about the time "Guitar face" Is ready for a reunion tour.
- Yeah, we should get some more card stock.
- And ink Cartridges.
Mm-hmm, Definitely.
Hey, mom-- what is with the books? Oh, it's just a little homework.
- What's up? - I I need some Advice.
Wait, from me? Don't look so happy about it.
That just makes it Harder.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I think Emmett's mom hates me.
Melody? Okay, why would she hate you? Em-Emmett and I have kind of-- - We've been hanging out.
- You and Emmett? I thought it was he and Daphne-- - No.
- He and I are together.
- Wait, together together? Are you two-- are you serious? Yeah, mom, it's kind of serious.
- Huh.
- Wow, really?! - it's that hard to believe We're a couple? - No no, of course not.
It's just that, well, there was liam then there's ty and now there's-- - wow.
You and melody Should get together and discuss why I am so horrible for Emmett.
She thinks he's flunking out because of me and you think I'm some sort of boy junkie.
I'm just trying to understand, honey.
He and I have way more in common than liam and I ever did.
And he's age appropriate which I thought you would appreciate.
And, mom, he gets me and I get him.
Well, then melody SHOULD consider herself lucky that her son is Dating someone as smart and caring and creative as you.
And if she doesn't, well then, it's her loss.
Mmm, no, it's my loss because once the mom disapproves of the girlfriend, it's just a matter of time.
Oh wait, we do not have as much power as you think we do.
- Really? - Really.
- Was dating Melissa remember When Toby mm - hmm, do you - the hippie Chick? - I never said a word! You didn't have to! Which is why I have to get melody to like me.
So Regina and I are going to go over there and the plan is to try and convince her that I'm not the antichrist.
Except I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to make her like me.
Honey, just be yourself.
Yeah, that's easy for you to say.
People like you.
They do not like me.
So I don't want to be myself tonight.
I want-- to be you.
Honey, you're-- you could lighten up a little on the sarcasm.
Mm-hmm.
- And bring artichoke dip.
Oh, I love your artichoke dip.
Everybody does.
It sounds like a vegetable and it's full of Mayo and cheese.
There is no way melody Can resist that.
Thank you.
You'll win her over.
I hope so.
Can I come in? Yeah sure.
I'm just taking a little break.
So you in business with Wilke? Yeah, it turns out he's in sales and I'm in manufacturing? He sells.
I make.
You know, now that I'm learning to sign, I am finding that we hearing people use FAR too many Words.
Well, I just hope you don't get in trouble on my account.
Ahhh.
Okay.
I need some advice.
I want to quit the Carlton basketball team and join Buckner's.
Does dad know? That's the advice I need.
You quit baseball.
Okay, so how did you do it? I don't know, I just told him I didn't want to play anymore, that sports was his thing and music was my thing.
- And he was okay with that? - Oh, hell no.
- But y'know, he had bay.
- Bay played baseball? Soccer.
For about 10 minutes until we all decided that that was a very bad idea.
But it gave him a place to put all that coaching-sports connection stuff - when I quit.
- So what'd he do with it after bay Stopped playing soccer? I dunno.
I guess it just kind of went away.
Until you showed up.
And you're not a musician, and you're not an artist I'm an athlete, like him.
The mini-me dad never had.
And he loves coaching you.
So you're telling me to stay? You asked for my advice.
You can still do what you want.
You don't have to listen to John.
But he's my Dad.
He's the whole reason I can even play basketball.
I mean genetically speaking.
Well, that doesn't give him veto power - over where you can play.
- I just want to play for a good team.
I want to win! It's the kennish in me.
I get that from him too.
Well, so do it.
He started coaching at Carlton for me.
I mean, he's doing everything he can to-- you know, do the dad thing.
So don't do it.
Carlton could get better, right? No.
Hmph.
Um, okay, now in the lousy timing department, I need to tell you that bay and I are going over to melody and Emmett's house tomorrow.
Oh.
- Okay.
- Bay feels Like melody doesn't like her.
So I thought maybe they should get to know each other better.
Okay.
Okay? That's it? What do you want me to say? I hate my basketball team.
I miss Emmett.
Angelo's back.
And I don't like sharing you with bay.
But it is what it is.
No, I believe you, it just feels wrong.
All right.
Yes.
Okay.
That was our lawyer-- Amanda.
- And? She says Tina Choi is right.
If she or anyone else wants to use public record and gossip to write a book about us, they can.
She had no other suggestions? To collaborate with her, try to influence what she writes.
Is that such a bad idea? Tina Choi wants to make us sound like freaks! Regina is the single alcoholic mother with the sweet handicapped child.
We're the midwestern royalty saddled with raising the RAVEN-haired hell raiser.
She said that? In So many words.
If I sign on to collaborate with her, she's not going to listen to what I have to say she's gonna use my name to legitimize whatever salacious slant she thinks is gonna sell books.
I'll call Amanda.
Why? You think she's going to tell you something different than she told me? I don't know.
Maybe.
- I'll give her a push.
- I pushed.
That's her answer.
I can handle it.
Okay.
So what's your zodiac sign? Libra.
My birthday is October 22nd.
No, your birthday is June 24th-- - it's cancer.
- Right.
Sorry.
I'm a little nervous.
Hey, uh, mom made some extra artichoke dip.
It's Toby's favorite.
Where is he? - He's getting ink Cartridges.
- Lots of Carlton kids in need of novelty I.
D.
S.
Mmm, this stuff is amazing.
- You have a fake I.
D.
? - yep.
Daphne Rabinsky from pleasantville, New York.
I'm going to Joey's tonight with Simone and some other girls from the Buckner basketball team.
Thanks, Wilke.
- Mm-hmm.
Excellent.
Toby Would've loved it.
- Hey.
- Yeah? I just wanted to tell you to, uh uh-- be careful with Simone.
- What do you mean? - Simone can be kind of what? You know what? Never mind.
Wow! You got Emmett.
You dated Ty.
You didn't want me to be with liam and now you're warning me off of someone you're not even friends with anymore? You're right.
My bad.
Have a good time.
I will.
Hi.
Oh, um, artichoke dip.
No, it was me and my mom.
My other Mom.
Don't interpret for me.
I want melody to see that I'm trying.
Okay.
Let the games begin.
- Now what? - The bouncer barely even looked at your I.
D.
- Where did you get this? - Wilke.
I am so talking to him tomorrow.
Or maybe tonight.
Wilke, you're too early.
I don't have my beer goggles on yet.
Oh! Usually by 9:00 that's all you were wearing.
Wait Wait-- were you guys together? - Briefly.
- And then I released him into the wild.
Hey, we've got a table.
Come on, you can bring your friend here, as long as he promises to do everything we say.
- I'm in.
- Wilke.
- What are you doing here? - You invited me.
Well, you told me where you'd be, who you'd be with.
In Some cultures That'd be considered a marriage proposal.
- I'm serious.
- And I make you laugh, that's why we're so good together.
We're not together.
We're just friends.
So I completely misread the making out in the car, the heart-to-heart conversation on the dock-- I might have sent some mixed signals.
But it doesn't change how I feel.
I love talking to you, Wilke-- but you're just not my type.
So what's your type? Deaf and into bay? - This is not about Emmett.
- Really? - It's not! - Okay.
Well, message received.
You want that? Park place is a good property.
I'm sorry.
I missed a lot of that.
I like to win too.
Ahem, Daphne's the only-- - I got it.
It's fine.
I know that you guys hang out a lot.
What did I do? You signed "Hang out" Wrong.
You said "I know you guys get circumcised a lot.
" You're laughing at me.
Melody, Stop.
You know what? This obviously-- thank you for the lovely evening.
I'll just-- I'll text you.
I'll drive you.
What's the matter with you? Bay is my daughter and your son's girlfriend.
You owe her an apology.
No way! ?T× You're still a stranger ?T× ?T× you've got no shame ?T× ?T× I'll watch you walking ?T× Oh, all teeth.
And I'm betting he had salami for dinner.
Eww! What did you say to him? - "Wanna make out?" - subtle.
Okay, Daphne, your turn.
No no no, Daphne's not a part of the team yet, so she doesn't have to take the dare.
I'm sorry, it's kinda dark in here.
What'd you say? - You don't have to take the dare.
- Pffft! You think I can't do it? Pick the guy.
Here's to the competitive spirit.
Okay, um, let's see him.
- "Do you wanna make out"? - it works every Time.
- Hi.
- Hi.
don't look now, but my friends over there dared me to come over here and kiss you.
Do you mind? - Not a bit.
- I'll take that as a yes then.
?T× I hope you're happy ?T× - ?T× it's such a shame ?T× - girl, yeah! ?T× You wear the snakeskin ?T× what the hell are you doing? She came on to me! - It was a dare.
- Do I look stupid to you? Excuse me, but my friend's colostomy bag is about to explode.
How could you do that to me? - Come on.
- I go to the bathroom - Let's get out of here.
- Did you just say I have a colostomy bag? - Let's go.
- Hey, we need to pay.
Oh, um, I'll take care of it.
I'll meet you guys out front.
- Okay, Cool.
- Hey, um, I am so Sorry about that.
What're you talking about? That was really fun! Okay, good.
- I'll see you in a second.
- Okay.
?T× All into shapes ?T× ?T× and into shards ?T× ?T× we smash like glass ?T× ?T× we fall like stars ?T× ?T× leave it alone.
?T× Snooki polizzi wrote a book.
Valerie bertinelli, she wrote a book.
Kendra Wilkinson-- she wrote two.
Who's Kendra Wilkinson? - One of Hugh Hefner's ex-girlfriends.
And Keith Richards? He pickled his brain on heroin and meth for 20 years and even he wrote a book.
Actually I think Keith wrote this with Somebody.
Whatever.
The point is if all of these people can write Books about their lives, why can't I? No one knows my story better than I do.
And I got straight "A"s in english all through college-- INCLUDING Two Upper-Division creative writing classes.
And if I get stuck, I can always get someone to help me.
Like Kendra? Honey.
What do you think? I think it is an outstanding idea.
- Really? - Yeah.
- You know what I say? - Hmm? I say Tina Choi can go pound sand.
Ah Ah ahh ah! - But-- she is a total bitch.
- Honestly, I've never seen her like that-- so it's me.
I bring out the worst in her? - I didn't say that.
- It can't be because I'm hearing.
You're hearing and she loves you.
I don't think Emmett's ever been this serious about someone before.
I think it's probably just scary for her to think about losing him.
Okay, so the mama bear syndrome? That makes it all right? - I didn't say that.
- You are totally defending her.
She's my best friend.
She's been there for me and I owe her a lot.
That's right, I forgot-- and you don't owe me anything.
- Bay.
Do you ever notice that there is always someone between us? Hey, forget your key? No.
I saw you through the window.
I needed to talk to you.
Sure.
What's up? I decided to take coach Medlock's offer.
I'm going to join the Buckner team.
I thought we discussed this.
No, I floated the idea and you shot it down.
I shot-- I didn't shoot anything down.
I simply reminded you that you happen to be committed to another team.
It's not even a team! No one cares if we win except me and you! Daphne, I know this is frustrating, but we're building.
These things take time.
You are always telling us to take the shot when we get the chance because we might not get another one.
Well, that's what I'm doing.
We're in the middle of a season.
Okay, sweetie, you cannot quit your team.
- Do not quit your team.
- I know you don't care about this, but there are so many things in my life that I don't like-- - I do care about this.
-- -And can't change.
I can change.
Hing I'm sorry.
I know you're mad, but I'm doing it.
Good night.