That's So Raven (2003) s01e12 Episode Script
Teach Your Children Well
1 Hey, guys.
All right.
Bam! Okay.
Hey, Eric.
Hey.
Whew, he is so fine! Yeah.
Mm-mm! You know, for you.
You know, all for you.
Um, Eddie your head's on backwards.
All part of the plan.
Chill out.
Pipe down people people, please.
Whose head is on backwards now? First an important announcement I'm being promoted to principal and Mr.
Perkins is being pushed up to superintendent.
So you mean you won't be teaching right here anymore? Precisely.
I need a minute alone.
I'll be okay.
So now, when you send me to the principal's office you're going to be sending me to you? Oh, brain cramp.
You'll have a substitute for the rest of the week and on Monday there will be a new teacher.
So who do you think the new teacher's going to be? I hope it's not that whiny guy, you know.
"Please, students, please "all I ask is y'all sit down.
Please help me.
" At least he's better than that paranoid lady.
"Why are you all talking about me? "Why are you talking about me? I know you guys all hate me" Ladies.
Talking.
Tragically neither one is available.
We've been having a heck of a time finding a substitute.
Hello, class.
I'm your substitute, Mrs.
Baxter.
You're not going to believe this.
My mom is going to be the sub.
Your mom? I know, I mean, she used to teach but Mr.
Lawler doesn't know that.
He hasn't even met her before.
Raven, you forgot your lunch.
And she's not going to know him now.
Thanks, Mom.
Oh, isn't that sweet.
Buh-bye.
Mrs.
Baxter I don't believe we've had the pleasure of meeting.
Oh, and now you have so once again, buh-bye.
I've got learning to do.
You know, I wish my students were this eager back when I was teaching English.
Well, I should go.
You were an English teacher previously? Mrs.
Baxter, I just had the craziest idea No! Yep, that's me.
I just know it, Chel.
My vision is going to come true.
Rae, would you stop panicking, please.
Just because Lawler asked her to sub doesn't mean she's going to do it.
So let's talk about something else.
Is she an easy grader? You know what, this is just too weird, okay? There has to be some way I can change this thing.
Hey, brother.
How you doing? Um, I'm going to need you to do me a favor, okay? When Mom comes downstairs, and I'm going to cough and then I want you to say "Mommy, please don't leave me all alone.
" Not a problem.
I do this for you, and I get Forget it.
Ooh, I like 'em feisty.
Okay, you know what, two bucks or nothing.
Deal.
Here you go.
This ain't over yet, baby.
Raven, that's just you popping your gum.
I thought they were ripping up the sidewalk.
Listen, honey I thought about Mr.
Lawler's offer.
If you have a problem with me subbing for a couple of days Oh, no, no, Mommy, you know I'm totally fine with it but I am a little concerned about my little brother.
See, he gets home at what? 2:00, 2:45, right? And if you sub Mom, you won't get home until 3:00.
Now, when I was his age, you were there for me.
And those 15 minutes meant so much.
Thank you, Mom.
Let's just see how Corey feels.
Wait, are you saying for 15 minutes I'd be home all by myself? Oh, yeah! Oh, don't worry about me, Mom.
I'll be fine.
I'd do something about that cough.
Windpipe.
I don't want to go.
Rae I don't want to go! Your mom isn't even here yet.
Just relax.
Right.
Relax.
Relax, she's not here.
But she's in the building.
I can feel her.
She's getting closer and closer and closer.
I can't see! I can't see! Rae! It's a miracle.
Hey, Eric.
Hey.
He is so fine! Hello, class.
I'm your substitute, Mrs.
Baxter.
Today we're going to be working on Romeo and Juliet.
Can anyone tell me what this play is about? Anyone? I know someone who can.
Raven.
Boy likes girl, girl likes boy.
They both die.
Cry, cry, cry, the end.
Good.
Fast, but good, honey.
I meant Raven.
I called her honey because she's my Oh, you know the story.
Anyway One more day.
One more day.
"Romeo, Romeo "Wherefore art thou, Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name.
" Raven, I know you're bummed out that your mom's here and all but if it makes you feel any better she's a babe.
"That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
" Sweet.
Okay, let me try and make this a little easier.
If Shakespeare were writing today it might sound more like this: "Yo, Romeo, where you at, okay? "Tell your daddy if he don't like us together "then that's just too bad "because this Juliet ain't waitin' around "for some fool in tights named Romeo.
You know what I'm sayin'?" And Romeo might sound like this: "Do you believe the words "that are comin' out of her mouth? "Should I speak up "and make a fool of myself or just let her go on and on about how fine she think I am?" Raven, gum.
Three more hours.
Just three more hours.
I'm free! No Mom no more Mom, no more Mom No more Mom, no more Mom, no more Mom, no more Hey, Mom.
Hey.
Hey, you know what-- these last two days man, it's like a blink.
Where'd they go? I mean, I didn't see them.
Did you see them? I didn't see them.
Did you? Then I've got good news.
I just spoke with Mr.
Lawler and he offered me a permanent position.
You okay with this? Well, actually Raven, I love this job.
Couldn't be happier.
Thanks, sweetie.
Honey, gum.
Okay.
Well, I'm on my way home to tell your little brother.
I just hope he understands.
Everybody dancing! I don't get it, Raven.
Your mom asked if you had a problem with her teaching here.
Why don't you just tell her how you felt? Chelsea, okay, you did not see my vision.
First of all, she loves this job and everybody in class loves her, too.
I just can't take that away from her.
You're a good daughter, Rae.
Thanks.
Maybe I can get her fired.
Kidding.
Can't I dream? I'm sorry.
Raven, I've been thinking and I don't mind that your mom has kids.
I'm good with kids.
Max my mama is married, okay? Let it go before it gets ugly.
And you're going to need this.
Ooh, lucky penny.
Hey, Eric.
Hi.
Hey.
I was wondering if after school, you know you'd like to? Eric, nice report.
But next time maybe you can hand it in without the pizza stains.
I do not know what's up with that new teacher.
Tell me about it.
So Oh, and, honey, I'm going to be home a little late.
Do you mind starting dinner? I've got chicken Got it, got it, got it.
Okay.
I don't know what that woman was talking about.
You were saying? I got to go.
Later.
I had him, man.
I had him.
He was in my grasp.
I had him.
I had him.
Mama, why? Having my mom here has totally busted my game.
I hate it.
Okay, before we get started I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be your teacher for the rest of the year.
Is all of that for me? Is that for me.
You stop it! You stop it! What happened? You stop it? I just don't want her here.
She's not funny.
She's embarrassing.
She's I hate this! Underline, underline, underline! Man, Rae, this is cold.
Pass it to Chelsea.
Okay, guys if you will take out your vocabulary list and review them, I'll collect the homework.
Thank you.
Uh, Ms.
Baxter, may I just say how much I enjoy doing the homework assignment? But I'd like to change one little bitty thing.
Can I sea Chelsea's homework? Eddie, that would be called cheating.
That's not what he meant.
What did he mean? I don't know.
Gotcha! It was all a joke.
It's just a trick that we play on all of the substitutes and you didn't get it.
And there it goes.
Thank you.
Listen, you'll all get your reports back after I grade them in the morning.
As it should be, Ms.
Baxter.
Spoken like a true teacher.
Proud of you, Mom.
Operation Note Rescue we attack at dawn.
Ready? Ready.
We're going in.
No, we're not.
It's locked.
Oh, it's locked! I just said that.
I know.
Give me a boost.
Come on.
Come on.
Get it.
Get it.
Good morning.
Hi, Mr.
Lawler.
We're doing nothing wrong.
Well, I'm pleased to see my pupils here so early.
As principal I arrive promptly at 6:30 and do a thorough inspection of the premises with my master key.
Watch.
Open.
Close.
Open.
Looks good in here.
Close.
Well, I better finish patrolling the place.
Toodles.
Rae since you're hanging there, could you open the door? No problem.
Oh, it's locked! Where's the key? Guys? I don't have the key! Well, don't look at me.
Guys? Try prying it open or something.
Okay.
No good.
What are we going to do? Guys, hanging like a bat over here! So what's the plan? Get this desk as far away from my mama as possible.
Yeah, but, Rae, this is school property.
I know, okay? That's why we're moving it very carefully.
Door, door, door! I don't mean to bug y'all or anything but can we come up with a better plan? Left! No, right! Hey! Oh, man! This can't be good.
Rae! Hey, where did that desk come from? Uh, actually, Mr.
Lawler this desk came from a tree.
You know, until mankind cut it down with no regard to nature and all What she was trying to say, Mr.
Lawler is that we found it in the parking lot and we're just, you know, bringing it back, really.
Well, pick me up and put me down this is my old desk.
Solid, sturdy.
Except for this pesky drawer.
Wait! Stop! Who are you talking to? Um, um, she was just singing that new, cool song.
You know, how's does it go? You know Wait, stop, where ya going? Stop! Wait! I'm a-coming I like that.
Come on, Mr.
Thomas.
Let's bring this baby back upstairs.
Show me how you do that thing.
"Every single second my mom's here "my life gets worse and worse.
"If I see her face in my class one more time I'm going to scream.
" Now you know why I don't want her to read the note.
Rae, I know it's really hard having your mom here but maybe it'll get better.
Maybe, but maybe it won't.
Look, I love my mom and I love hanging out with her, just not here.
Here, I'm Raven but when she's here I'm Mrs.
Baxter's daughter.
But, Rae, your mom's, like, so cool.
She'll understand.
Yeah, she's so happy.
I'll just have to get used to it, huh? Hey, honey.
Got a minute? Sure.
You know, being at school with you got me to thinking about when I was your age.
I used to get away with so much stuff.
I had this one teacher, Mr.
Swenson.
I did the best imitation of him: Enunciate, Tanya! Enunciate! I mean, I had the whole class cracking up.
You? Your mama had a life.
And if there were cute boys in the hall I'd be talking to 'em like you with your friend Eric.
Kind of blew that for you, didn't I? You know Yeah, Mama, yeah.
Honey, I had a great time when I was in school.
But it would have been really weird if my mom had been around.
That's why I'm not going to take this teaching job.
What? Mama, all the kids think you're great.
Raven, I love this job.
I know.
Being a teacher.
No, being your mom.
And when I do go back to teaching I'll make sure it's at a different school.
Promise.
Bam! Go on, Mama.
That was tight.
What? You thought you was the only one that could get some zap? Mama, what exactly was that? Was it, what? Shh what was it? Girlfriend, if you think you're going to jack my moves think again.
But, Mama, wait.
What are you doing here? Sorry, little man.
This fantasy is taken.
Oh, man! Get your little self up off me! What's up, little man? You take my women, I take your pizza.
All right.
Bam! Okay.
Hey, Eric.
Hey.
Whew, he is so fine! Yeah.
Mm-mm! You know, for you.
You know, all for you.
Um, Eddie your head's on backwards.
All part of the plan.
Chill out.
Pipe down people people, please.
Whose head is on backwards now? First an important announcement I'm being promoted to principal and Mr.
Perkins is being pushed up to superintendent.
So you mean you won't be teaching right here anymore? Precisely.
I need a minute alone.
I'll be okay.
So now, when you send me to the principal's office you're going to be sending me to you? Oh, brain cramp.
You'll have a substitute for the rest of the week and on Monday there will be a new teacher.
So who do you think the new teacher's going to be? I hope it's not that whiny guy, you know.
"Please, students, please "all I ask is y'all sit down.
Please help me.
" At least he's better than that paranoid lady.
"Why are you all talking about me? "Why are you talking about me? I know you guys all hate me" Ladies.
Talking.
Tragically neither one is available.
We've been having a heck of a time finding a substitute.
Hello, class.
I'm your substitute, Mrs.
Baxter.
You're not going to believe this.
My mom is going to be the sub.
Your mom? I know, I mean, she used to teach but Mr.
Lawler doesn't know that.
He hasn't even met her before.
Raven, you forgot your lunch.
And she's not going to know him now.
Thanks, Mom.
Oh, isn't that sweet.
Buh-bye.
Mrs.
Baxter I don't believe we've had the pleasure of meeting.
Oh, and now you have so once again, buh-bye.
I've got learning to do.
You know, I wish my students were this eager back when I was teaching English.
Well, I should go.
You were an English teacher previously? Mrs.
Baxter, I just had the craziest idea No! Yep, that's me.
I just know it, Chel.
My vision is going to come true.
Rae, would you stop panicking, please.
Just because Lawler asked her to sub doesn't mean she's going to do it.
So let's talk about something else.
Is she an easy grader? You know what, this is just too weird, okay? There has to be some way I can change this thing.
Hey, brother.
How you doing? Um, I'm going to need you to do me a favor, okay? When Mom comes downstairs, and I'm going to cough and then I want you to say "Mommy, please don't leave me all alone.
" Not a problem.
I do this for you, and I get Forget it.
Ooh, I like 'em feisty.
Okay, you know what, two bucks or nothing.
Deal.
Here you go.
This ain't over yet, baby.
Raven, that's just you popping your gum.
I thought they were ripping up the sidewalk.
Listen, honey I thought about Mr.
Lawler's offer.
If you have a problem with me subbing for a couple of days Oh, no, no, Mommy, you know I'm totally fine with it but I am a little concerned about my little brother.
See, he gets home at what? 2:00, 2:45, right? And if you sub Mom, you won't get home until 3:00.
Now, when I was his age, you were there for me.
And those 15 minutes meant so much.
Thank you, Mom.
Let's just see how Corey feels.
Wait, are you saying for 15 minutes I'd be home all by myself? Oh, yeah! Oh, don't worry about me, Mom.
I'll be fine.
I'd do something about that cough.
Windpipe.
I don't want to go.
Rae I don't want to go! Your mom isn't even here yet.
Just relax.
Right.
Relax.
Relax, she's not here.
But she's in the building.
I can feel her.
She's getting closer and closer and closer.
I can't see! I can't see! Rae! It's a miracle.
Hey, Eric.
Hey.
He is so fine! Hello, class.
I'm your substitute, Mrs.
Baxter.
Today we're going to be working on Romeo and Juliet.
Can anyone tell me what this play is about? Anyone? I know someone who can.
Raven.
Boy likes girl, girl likes boy.
They both die.
Cry, cry, cry, the end.
Good.
Fast, but good, honey.
I meant Raven.
I called her honey because she's my Oh, you know the story.
Anyway One more day.
One more day.
"Romeo, Romeo "Wherefore art thou, Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name.
" Raven, I know you're bummed out that your mom's here and all but if it makes you feel any better she's a babe.
"That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
" Sweet.
Okay, let me try and make this a little easier.
If Shakespeare were writing today it might sound more like this: "Yo, Romeo, where you at, okay? "Tell your daddy if he don't like us together "then that's just too bad "because this Juliet ain't waitin' around "for some fool in tights named Romeo.
You know what I'm sayin'?" And Romeo might sound like this: "Do you believe the words "that are comin' out of her mouth? "Should I speak up "and make a fool of myself or just let her go on and on about how fine she think I am?" Raven, gum.
Three more hours.
Just three more hours.
I'm free! No Mom no more Mom, no more Mom No more Mom, no more Mom, no more Mom, no more Hey, Mom.
Hey.
Hey, you know what-- these last two days man, it's like a blink.
Where'd they go? I mean, I didn't see them.
Did you see them? I didn't see them.
Did you? Then I've got good news.
I just spoke with Mr.
Lawler and he offered me a permanent position.
You okay with this? Well, actually Raven, I love this job.
Couldn't be happier.
Thanks, sweetie.
Honey, gum.
Okay.
Well, I'm on my way home to tell your little brother.
I just hope he understands.
Everybody dancing! I don't get it, Raven.
Your mom asked if you had a problem with her teaching here.
Why don't you just tell her how you felt? Chelsea, okay, you did not see my vision.
First of all, she loves this job and everybody in class loves her, too.
I just can't take that away from her.
You're a good daughter, Rae.
Thanks.
Maybe I can get her fired.
Kidding.
Can't I dream? I'm sorry.
Raven, I've been thinking and I don't mind that your mom has kids.
I'm good with kids.
Max my mama is married, okay? Let it go before it gets ugly.
And you're going to need this.
Ooh, lucky penny.
Hey, Eric.
Hi.
Hey.
I was wondering if after school, you know you'd like to? Eric, nice report.
But next time maybe you can hand it in without the pizza stains.
I do not know what's up with that new teacher.
Tell me about it.
So Oh, and, honey, I'm going to be home a little late.
Do you mind starting dinner? I've got chicken Got it, got it, got it.
Okay.
I don't know what that woman was talking about.
You were saying? I got to go.
Later.
I had him, man.
I had him.
He was in my grasp.
I had him.
I had him.
Mama, why? Having my mom here has totally busted my game.
I hate it.
Okay, before we get started I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be your teacher for the rest of the year.
Is all of that for me? Is that for me.
You stop it! You stop it! What happened? You stop it? I just don't want her here.
She's not funny.
She's embarrassing.
She's I hate this! Underline, underline, underline! Man, Rae, this is cold.
Pass it to Chelsea.
Okay, guys if you will take out your vocabulary list and review them, I'll collect the homework.
Thank you.
Uh, Ms.
Baxter, may I just say how much I enjoy doing the homework assignment? But I'd like to change one little bitty thing.
Can I sea Chelsea's homework? Eddie, that would be called cheating.
That's not what he meant.
What did he mean? I don't know.
Gotcha! It was all a joke.
It's just a trick that we play on all of the substitutes and you didn't get it.
And there it goes.
Thank you.
Listen, you'll all get your reports back after I grade them in the morning.
As it should be, Ms.
Baxter.
Spoken like a true teacher.
Proud of you, Mom.
Operation Note Rescue we attack at dawn.
Ready? Ready.
We're going in.
No, we're not.
It's locked.
Oh, it's locked! I just said that.
I know.
Give me a boost.
Come on.
Come on.
Get it.
Get it.
Good morning.
Hi, Mr.
Lawler.
We're doing nothing wrong.
Well, I'm pleased to see my pupils here so early.
As principal I arrive promptly at 6:30 and do a thorough inspection of the premises with my master key.
Watch.
Open.
Close.
Open.
Looks good in here.
Close.
Well, I better finish patrolling the place.
Toodles.
Rae since you're hanging there, could you open the door? No problem.
Oh, it's locked! Where's the key? Guys? I don't have the key! Well, don't look at me.
Guys? Try prying it open or something.
Okay.
No good.
What are we going to do? Guys, hanging like a bat over here! So what's the plan? Get this desk as far away from my mama as possible.
Yeah, but, Rae, this is school property.
I know, okay? That's why we're moving it very carefully.
Door, door, door! I don't mean to bug y'all or anything but can we come up with a better plan? Left! No, right! Hey! Oh, man! This can't be good.
Rae! Hey, where did that desk come from? Uh, actually, Mr.
Lawler this desk came from a tree.
You know, until mankind cut it down with no regard to nature and all What she was trying to say, Mr.
Lawler is that we found it in the parking lot and we're just, you know, bringing it back, really.
Well, pick me up and put me down this is my old desk.
Solid, sturdy.
Except for this pesky drawer.
Wait! Stop! Who are you talking to? Um, um, she was just singing that new, cool song.
You know, how's does it go? You know Wait, stop, where ya going? Stop! Wait! I'm a-coming I like that.
Come on, Mr.
Thomas.
Let's bring this baby back upstairs.
Show me how you do that thing.
"Every single second my mom's here "my life gets worse and worse.
"If I see her face in my class one more time I'm going to scream.
" Now you know why I don't want her to read the note.
Rae, I know it's really hard having your mom here but maybe it'll get better.
Maybe, but maybe it won't.
Look, I love my mom and I love hanging out with her, just not here.
Here, I'm Raven but when she's here I'm Mrs.
Baxter's daughter.
But, Rae, your mom's, like, so cool.
She'll understand.
Yeah, she's so happy.
I'll just have to get used to it, huh? Hey, honey.
Got a minute? Sure.
You know, being at school with you got me to thinking about when I was your age.
I used to get away with so much stuff.
I had this one teacher, Mr.
Swenson.
I did the best imitation of him: Enunciate, Tanya! Enunciate! I mean, I had the whole class cracking up.
You? Your mama had a life.
And if there were cute boys in the hall I'd be talking to 'em like you with your friend Eric.
Kind of blew that for you, didn't I? You know Yeah, Mama, yeah.
Honey, I had a great time when I was in school.
But it would have been really weird if my mom had been around.
That's why I'm not going to take this teaching job.
What? Mama, all the kids think you're great.
Raven, I love this job.
I know.
Being a teacher.
No, being your mom.
And when I do go back to teaching I'll make sure it's at a different school.
Promise.
Bam! Go on, Mama.
That was tight.
What? You thought you was the only one that could get some zap? Mama, what exactly was that? Was it, what? Shh what was it? Girlfriend, if you think you're going to jack my moves think again.
But, Mama, wait.
What are you doing here? Sorry, little man.
This fantasy is taken.
Oh, man! Get your little self up off me! What's up, little man? You take my women, I take your pizza.