The Black Box (2014) s01e12 Episode Script
The Fear
1 Previously on "Black Box" You live here? Do you ever leave? No.
I need you to fill this prescription for me.
Oxy? I took some pills.
Pills? What kind of pills? What'd you take? - How's Joey? - They can't get him off the vent.
I never should have operated.
It's all my fault.
I had feelings for you I've never had for anyone.
I don't want them.
We have to re-balance my meds.
Do you still hope for a more balanced life? Now I just want to survive.
St.
John the Divine is one of the biggest Gothic cathedrals in the world.
Now, remember, when we go inside, everybody in group "A" stays with Jeremy's mom, and everyone in group "B" stays with me and Rahim's mom, okay? So, Mira, does Rahim have B.
O.
yet? Jeremy's in the shower for hours.
Boxes of Kleenex disappearing right and left.
Have you caught Rahim You know? Rahim would never, no.
Rahim! Stand back from the curb.
Hey, one, two, three, eyes on me.
Everybody ready? Ok, everybody stay calm.
Stop it.
You need to calm down.
Stop this.
You won't hurt me.
I know you don't want to.
You don't want to hurt me.
You don't want to hurt anybody.
Just put the knife down.
Put the knife down.
Look in my eyes.
Look in my eyes.
There are children here.
You don't want to hurt them.
Police are coming.
They will shoot you.
Give me the knife.
Let me save you.
Give me that knife.
There you go.
Rahim, your mom's a badass.
Oh, you ran all the way here? Yeah.
It's called "jogging.
" It's a form of exercise.
You seem irritated.
Yeah, I am.
That's why I'm exercising.
Exercise is a good strategy for you.
Well, it's not working.
Neither are these.
I have spontaneous medication tolerance.
And it's certainly exacerbated - by the upheaval in your life - Right.
Telling Will about Esme and breaking up with him.
Yeah, now I'm up all night I'm up all night, worried that he's gonna say something to Esme out of spite.
And then there's Bickman, and then there's Will.
- I mean - Slow down.
Slow down.
What is going on with you and Dr.
Bickman? I told you.
Nothing.
Nothing.
You're both seeing other people? I'm not.
He might be.
I don't ask.
Aw.
Has he told you how he's feeling? No.
He doesn't like feelings, okay? Medication tolerance is a serious problem.
I would like you to check into the hospital today.
What? It would only be for a week - Two, the most.
- No.
It's the safest way to re-balance your medication.
There's not a chance.
We can do that here.
We can do that right here, right now, with you and me, in the office.
We do that here.
- I'm not going inpatient.
- Why? - I'm not going inpatient.
- Why? Why? It's a mild overreaction.
Besides, it's not a good time.
I-I have a talk at Harvard that I'm doing Thursday night.
I'm presenting a year's worth of research on how the brain processes fear.
We discovered this new neural circuit.
It's it's incredible.
It links directly into the amygdala.
That's where the brain processes all the fear memories.
If this pans out, this could be, like, really important protocol.
I mean, it could be one of the most important things in my career.
Probably be named after me The Catherine Black, - or they'll call it "Black" - Catherine.
Catherine.
You are agitated, you're irritable, and now you sound grandiose.
I'm not grandiose.
It's the truth.
I would like you to call Joshua.
You need your family now.
He's camping, okay? He's unreachable.
Are you seeing patients? No, of course I'm not.
I'm not an idiot.
I won't see any patients until I'm I'm balanced, okay? Just look at the last few weeks.
You went off your medications to look for a cure for rabies.
You had a slip with an opiate.
Well, that's not gonna happen, all right? - Do you believe that? - I don't know.
I don't know if I believe it or not.
It's a coin toss there.
Okay, here's my idea.
We try a new combination of drugs right now.
If I'm not on an even keel by next week I can't see you next week unless you agree to go inpatient.
That sounded like a threat.
No.
It's a boundary.
I have to draw a line.
I'm your doctor.
I know you.
I've seen you since you were 16 years old.
I want you to trust me and agree to be hospitalized.
If you walk out of that door, you shouldn't come back.
I can't see you if you won't let me help you at the moment you need my help most.
I'm not a child anymore, okay? You know, everything has to come to an end at some point, right? Maybe it's time.
Maybe it's time this comes to an end.
Thank you for everything that you've done for me.
I mean that.
Surprised.
Bring up the next slide, MacKenzie.
Happy.
She's very happy.
Next, please.
And he's sad.
Angry.
Disgusted.
Disdain.
Mira? Well I'm not sure.
You're not sure what emotion that person's expressing? He looks confused.
It's not exactly confusion.
Do you want to try again? Um Catherine just who I've been looking for.
Here I am.
I need you for a consult on a new patient.
Who is she? New Jersey housewife who talked down a madman on the street the other day after he stabbed two pedestrians.
- It was all over the news.
- What? Wow.
Good job! Her name is Mira Darvish.
Her husband brought her in because No, Farrah.
I'm sorry.
I can't.
I, uh see, I'm not taking on any new patients till I get back from Boston.
I'm I'm doing a speech at Harvard on Thursday night.
Maybe you heard about it My new fear protocol? I got to do some preparation.
That's going to be on the news too.
This patient needs your help.
According to Mr.
Darvish, his wife's blind courage is part of a pattern of uncharacteristic behavior.
She's become contrary and oppositional instead of What, an obedient wife? I ran the affect set to test her emotion-recognition ability.
She correctly identified every emotion except fear.
She's also complained of a persistent headache and fevers on and off for the past few weeks.
- I suspect something neurological.
- Well, I suspect her husband doesn't like standing around like a groupie while she gets all the kudos for being brave.
A certain amount of fear is necessary to our survival.
Not as much as you think.
But bravery should be applauded and celebrated, not turned into a disease, right? There.
That one triggered some big-time prefrontal-cortex action.
That's what Dr.
Black was hoping to capture for her presentation.
Cool.
Load up the next Q.
T.
Let's see if this dude's scared of sharks.
I don't need an FMRI to know what I'm afraid of.
Oh, that's right.
You get your Step 2 exam results this week.
Any day.
If I didn't ace it, I'm done at the Cube.
Bickman will never give me a recommendation.
I'm looking at a residency in rural Nebraska.
That's what I'm afraid of.
Well, you used the TDCS I built you.
You went in there with a high-octane brain.
I'm sure you did great.
Okay, please play the random set now.
Here's the thing I went in with my own brain.
I stopped using the TDCS.
Why? I decided to bet on myself.
I needed to know that I could do it on my own, without your help or anyone else's.
Big bet.
Now you're terrified it's the wrong one.
Yeah.
Ketogenic.
Yeah, it's a mandated diet, for health reasons.
I'd appreciate it if the hotel could arrange that for me.
Thanks.
You look nice.
You got a date? Who is he? Who said it was a he? Hey.
The imaging for the new aneurysm patient should be up.
I heard you haven't operated in a week.
That must be, like, a record for you.
Yeah, I got to finish my book.
My editor's been breathing down my neck.
So, obviously, this one's not a good candidate for coiling.
You're gonna want to open him up.
Nah, send it to Phoebe.
I think it's fine for coiling.
Come on.
This has Bickman's trademark craniotomy written all over it.
It's a perfect operation for you.
I disagree.
Bick I need to talk to you outside.
You got to fix it.
It's beneath you.
What are you talking about? You're afraid to operate.
Excuse me? I see it in your face.
It's obvious.
This isn't who you are.
This is not the man I know.
You're confident.
You know what? You're out of line.
No, I'm not.
You have PTSD, okay? It's understandable.
It's fine.
It's blowback from Joey's surgery, all right? You just got to fix it.
All right, listen to me.
You got to go see Lina.
You get her to rewire your brain and just erase the memory of the surgery.
What? Yeah, she can do it.
It's my new fear protocol.
While you're at it, get her to get me out of there, as well, seeing as you're so terrified of your feelings for me.
No need.
At this point, I have no feelings for you at all.
- Yeah, you do, and, no, I don't.
I'm not.
- Excuse me? I said I don't need you.
Good.
All the better.
Don't believe a word he says.
You're the important one.
I'm not even It's so not necessary.
What is Don't be afraid, Rahim.
Come out here with mommy.
Mira! Mira! Mira! Mira! Rahim! No! Don't do this! Mira! Mira! - It's gonna be okay, okay? - Mira! Now, look at me.
Come closer.
Rahim! No! No! Stop right where you are, buddy! Don't move! I'm coming to get you.
He's fine.
Just leave him alone.
No, he's not fine.
Mira, he's not fine, okay? Just look down.
Do you see how high up you are? You see? Mira, let the guards help you down! You don't want to hurt your son.
Come here, buddy.
Just sit down.
Just sit down.
I got you.
Okay.
Hey.
I, uh I hear you can rewire a memory.
Who told you that? I just want to know how you do it.
TMS therapy, or trans-cranial magnetic stimulation.
It's part of Dr.
Black's new fear protocol.
We're testing it now.
Is it dangerous? We use coils Magnetic coils to stimulate your medial prefrontal cortex, - which regulates the amygdala - Amygdala, which is where fear memories are processed.
It's experimental.
As you know, any time you mess with the brain I want you to try it on me.
How did you get her back here? She has Kluever-Bucy.
I'm not familiar with Kluever-Bucy.
I assume it's, uh, a neurological disease? Results from bilateral lesions of the amygdala caused by infection or injury.
Patients usually present with five possible symptoms, fearlessness being the most obvious.
I assume you're doing tests to confirm? No need.
She has three out of five symptoms.
Any moron can call it.
All right, well, fearlessness We've seen that.
Uh visual agnosia Failure to recognize common objects.
Two.
Three hyperorality.
There we go.
Done.
MacKenzie, can you come here, please? Can you put that down? Can you send Mrs.
Darvish, please, - for an MRI and a spinal tap? - Yep.
Happy? Too bad you didn't do it earlier, when I asked you to see her the first time.
You're right.
I should have seen her when you asked.
I haven't been sleeping very well lately.
I'm sorry.
Bad judgment on my part.
Catherine.
Catherine.
Wait.
Hey.
What's going on? I don't know.
You said you weren't sleeping, that you were under a lot of stress.
During the rabies case, your behavior was Genius, yeah.
I cured a girl who was dying.
Yes, you did.
You know, Farrah, I am in a hurry.
I can see that.
Seems like you're rushing everywhere these days, which is why I'm here.
I'm worried about you, Catherine.
I don't think you're well.
I've been meaning to ask you for a personal consultation for a while.
Why? Nobody knows this about me, but, um I've seen a psychiatrist for many years.
Um my mother, she, uh, she committed suicide when I was very young.
She was very unstable, you see.
Sorry.
I had no idea.
My psychiatrist and I recently, we, uh, we hit a wall.
Yeah, it happens.
Right.
So, I was thinking it was time to try somebody new, you know? Somebody younger, somebody with a fresh perspective.
I see the work that you do here.
I mean, you are so impressive, Farrah.
I I mean, I just don't know if you would consider having me as your patient.
Wow.
Uh I'm very flattered.
I could only do it if I could trust you, though.
Patient-doctor confidentiality is Is sacred.
I understand, and I completely agree.
It goes without saying that anything you tell me would be in the strictest confidence.
I knew I could trust you.
You can.
Completely.
Okay, this is amazing.
I am I'm so relieved.
This has been so stressful for me.
I've just been so worried, and thank you.
So, when do you think we can schedule for a session? I mean, I'm thinking the moment I get back from Harvard - would be - Yeah, uh, I'll check some times and see when they work with yours.
Okay.
So, I created a quicktime movie of the kind of images that provoke your PTSD reaction.
While you watch, the magnetic coil will send a signal to the medial prefrontal cortex of your brain.
Dr.
Black believes it will interrupt the connection between your fear and your memory.
Put in the earbuds.
Okay.
Here we go.
I just got the results from my Step 2 exam.
Uh, no Jack.
No queen, no king.
Just call me Ace? How about super ace? 97th percentile ace.
Oh, I'm so happy for you.
Thank you.
And I did it on my own.
My memory is really back.
I'm no longer tied to artificially stimulating my brain.
Congratulations.
Oh.
What are you two doing? Great news, champ.
I'm sorry.
Um that was awkward.
What were you two doing? None of your business Ace.
You were doing the experimental fear protocol on Dr.
Bickman to help him overcome a PTSD reaction he had to when he botched that aneurysm repair.
- That's a theory.
- It's brilliant.
Why don't you try it on yourself? For your, you know, agoraphobia.
You think I haven't tried? It doesn't work? That sucks.
What if it doesn't work for Bickman? Might not.
But mine's different.
It's biology, not caused by a traumatic event.
I'm hardwired, born this way.
That is why I am a hopeless case.
I didn't know you were coming by.
Joshua's still away.
No, I know.
I See, I'm under a lot of stress right now, and I don't think I can spend the night by myself.
Is it okay if I stay here? - Please? - Of course.
Great.
I'll just take what I need so I don't have to wake you up in the morning.
Thank you for letting me have your room.
It's okay.
Everything's okay, Aunt Kate.
You're here with us now.
Everything's fine.
Have you eaten? No.
I'm not hungry.
Are you sure? Yeah.
I just need to rest.
Do you want to call your doctor? No.
I don't need to.
I just need to get some sleep.
That's what this is.
I'm just exhausted, yeah, so I'm just tired.
Okay.
Good night.
Good night, Aunt Kate.
- Good night.
- Thank you.
Mom.
Mm-hmm? What's happening? She can't sleep.
People with bipolar have insomnia.
It's scary.
I don't know what to do.
I wish dad were here.
Dad needed a break.
Do you think maybe you should go and check on her? Lina.
It's Leo.
Open up.
There's someone here to see you.
I told him, Lina, that you're agoraphobic, that you have panic attacks when you try to go outside the Cube Palpitations, shortness of breath, sweating, nausea that you never leave, that you live here.
I'll leave you two alone.
Hey.
Why didn't you tell me? I mean, I thought you'd stood me up.
I was ashamed.
Hey.
It is not your fault.
You know, we can work on it uh, get you therapy.
Babe, that won't work.
I'll show you why.
You see that? That's my brain.
That is the amygdala, where our fight-or-flight impulses are formed.
You see how mine is all lit up? It means I have an overactive amygdala.
In my case, the fear it generates is fear of open spaces.
I need to stay safe, indoors.
It's always been that way, and it always will be.
It's my biology.
I can't change it.
The way my eyes are brown and my hair is black Biology isn't destiny.
Sometimes it is.
You should leave, Bruce, because I-I'll never be able to go to a restaurant with you.
I'll never see your apartment.
I'll never be able to share the things you do outside, or your life.
We will have to see about that.
One step at a time.
Morning.
Catherine.
I made you some oatmeal.
Thank you.
It was so strange, spending the night in my old room.
It's so strange.
You weren't in it much.
I heard you all night.
I'm glad you finally got to sleep.
D-do you like raisins, or Is Esme gone? She left for school.
It's 9:30.
It is? Yeah.
I've got to go.
I got to pack.
Pack? Yeah, I'm doing a presentation at Harvard.
I got to leave tonight.
It's very important.
That doesn't sound like a good idea.
D-d-do you think maybe you can postpone it? Why? I wish I were you.
You have everything I've ever wanted.
Catherine Get off me.
Here you are.
You got to go see Mira.
She needs you.
Oh, you're an idiot? You're gonna go and expose yourself? Huh? Are you crazy? You cannot go.
You cannot go to the Cube.
Calm down.
Don't expose yourself.
Just, uh, maybe think you should go see Will.
Okay, I'll see Will.
It's fine.
You made a lot of progress today.
Girl, you busted my chops, all right? With that salutation to the sun sequence that went on half an hour.
Will! What are you doing here? Oh, I knew I'd I'd find you here.
Wednesday morning yoga with pretty Miss Gumby.
Yeah.
Bores me completely.
Are you stalking me now? - You are pretty.
- Haven't done enough? - You guys have sex yet? - Hey, stop that.
Leave us alone.
- Totally having sex.
- What did you say? - I would if I was you.
- What did you say? It's totally fine.
I would do exactly the same.
Excuse us a moment.
The thing is what I'm saying is you should have it.
Okay.
Catherine.
Don't touch me.
Don't touch me! - Let's call Josh.
- No.
Esme.
What about her? You're not gonna tell her, are you? Not in a million years.
Not even out of spite? I won't.
I promise.
You're too good for me.
He wouldn't do the simplest surgery.
Everybody's talking about it.
For an anterior cervical discectomy and fusion.
Couldn't even bring himself to do the neck incision.
The famous Dr.
Bickman.
Your fear protocol doesn't work.
It's a crock.
Hi, Dr.
Black.
I have you all ready to go to Boston.
I charged your laptop, and I placed a backup copy of your powerpoint in a Dropbox folder labeled "Dr.
Black's fear protocol.
" Can I have Mira's lab results? Oh, yes.
Um I need the number for the NSA, also.
NSA, as in "national security agency"? They're after my protocol.
Everybody wants it.
What room is she in? Patient room two.
Mira, mira, that's my wallet.
It doesn't belong in your mouth.
God! Good morning, Mira.
How are you feeling? She's been talking back to me all morning, and she's eating everything in sight.
Yeah, I wouldn't talk back to you if you would quit bossing me around.
She threw a remote at me.
Did anyone tell you that? Are you gonna turn me back into a frightened little dormouse? They'd better if they expect me to pay.
Why don't you leave her alone? Hey, what's going on? I thought you gave this case to Dr.
Morely.
I did, but I found out the cause of your kluever-bucy.
So, it's a rare bacterial infection.
It's called Whipple's Disease.
It's damaged both of your amygdala.
Owen probably missed it, 'cause it is the sort of thing that only I can see.
So, what we're gonna do is we're gonna treat it with two weeks of I.
V.
penicillin, then we're gonna transition to a long course of Bactrim.
Now, the infection is probably not gonna be eradicated from your body for about a year.
Don't worry.
Within a couple months, you're gonna feel much better, okay? Owen didn't miss it.
He figured it out right away.
I seriously doubt it.
You're never gonna be a dormouse.
- Catherine? - Yes.
Can I see you in my office right now? Sure.
Are you bipolar? Your mother was bipolar, right? It's the most hereditary form of mental illness.
- You can't tell anyone.
- I won't.
You can't.
You're my doctor.
That's right.
But you are bipolar.
You know this disease.
It has a broad spectrum with many different manifestations, from mild mania to severe depression Worst case, psychosis.
I'm the lucky one.
I got the good stuff.
You know, I have the insight.
I have the inspiration.
I've got the drive, the energy, okay? I-I-I'm okay.
I'm like Teddy Roosevelt and and and Charles Dickens.
- Are you off your meds right now? - No.
I'm not.
- I need the truth.
- No, I'm I'm not! They're just not working.
I just need a good night's sleep.
That's not enough.
You obviously can't go to Harvard.
You need to go inpatient immediately.
I can't.
I can't.
I got to reach out to my FBI agent.
I got to debrief him on the alien abduction, so I can't.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
I was just hoping to to beat this holistically, - and I - You can't.
You can't.
We have to act now.
Okay.
I'm in your hands.
I'll do whatever you think.
I'll go inpatient.
- Wonderful.
- Okay.
It's a very positive sign that you'll accept treatment.
I just I need a couple of minutes.
I got to make some calls to Harvard.
I got to tell them that I'm not gonna be there, obviously.
Then we'll find a way to deal with this hospitalization - Quietly, right? - I have a place in mind.
It's a top facility outside the city, in Connecticut.
Discreet, totally private, and you'll get the best treatment there.
I'll just tell Owen that you were suffering from exhaustion.
I'll be right back.
Okay, keys, keys, keys, keys.
Got to find keys, keys, keys.
They're gonna rename the Cube.
In fact, they'll probably rename the whole university after her.
"Black University.
" So, even though the biopsy results were in, the doctor was in his lounge playing foosball.
Hello? Catherine, I-it's me.
I thought about you all day.
I'm downstairs at the Cube.
I know if Josh were here, he'd want you to see a doctor.
I can drive you to a psychiatrist, or an E.
R.
if you prefer.
Please come down.
I-I'll I'll drive you to your doctor's.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I've already left.
Well, turn around.
Please, Catherine.
Please.
Catherine? So, who thinks the cyst should have been managed endoscopically? Well, it was an arachnoid cyst, so Dr.
Bickman! We have a 45-year-old hit-and-run victim.
His scan shows hydrocephalus due to traumatic brain injury, and he's crashing.
He needs an EVD placed immediately.
Where's Dr.
Farber? He's at New York pres today.
There's nobody else.
You show me what to do.
You know.
Kocher's point is 10 centimeters from the nasion, 3 centimeters lateral to the midline, so we should drill here, I think.
Stop.
Stop it.
Scalpel.
Scalpel.
Periosteum's stripped.
Drill.
Carlotta.
Where's Dr.
Black? What do you want with her? Got to tell her something.
I'm all ears.
Hey, has either of you seen Dr.
Black? She left for Boston.
Beautiful procedure on the fly.
It's a thing of beauty.
He's back.
Great work, Dr.
Bickman.
Kudos, man.
Appreciate it.
If I called you by your name, boy Come on.
Would you look, would you look, would you look my way? I'll be singing like a sparrow Can you feel, can you feel, can you feel it in your veins You've got me in your hair You've got me in your lungs You've got me in your heart On the tip of your tongue Catherine, this is Helen Hartramph.
Catherine, please call me back.
Your life is precious.
We'll figure out a way to get you sane and healthy again.
Likewise You feed me from the ashes All that's left is a star ignited by a spark Don't fake it I peel like an onion Let it burn, let it burn, let it burn your eyes You've got me in your hair You've got me in your lungs You've got me in your heart And you've kept me in the dark You've got me in your hair You've got me in your lungs You've got me in your heart On the tip of your tongue And you've kept me in the dark Previously on "Black Box" I'm Esme's mother.
Please don't leave me! Johnny!! You're not gonna tell her, are you? I won't.
I promise.
Are you bipolar? Are you off your meds right now? - No.
I'm not.
- I need the truth.
No, I'm not! They're just not working.
Are you crazy? Okay, I'll see Will.
It's fine.
It's so not necessary.
What is If you want to self-destruct, even I can't stop you.
Catherine, please call me back.
We'll figure out a way to get you sane and healthy again.
The police picked me up half-naked in the woods.
I'd, uh I'd stolen a colleague's car, which, of course, had a tracking device.
It took them no time at all to find me.
You were in jail two days.
Yes.
The car I stole belonged to a friend.
It's a former lover.
He didn't press charges.
And what will you say when you see him again? I don't know.
I can't think of that now.
Catherine is leaving us today.
I'm sensing a lot of apprehension.
I'm terrified.
I came in here kicking and screaming, and now a month later, I don't want to leave.
In the past, you've been tempted to go off your meds and unable to resist that temptation.
It's tough giving up the highs, so easy to forget the lows.
You'll need ongoing therapy for impulse control.
I wish I could do that here.
I wish that I had more time.
I don't want to leave, either.
But you must.
You must learn to handle whatever life has in store And face the consequences of your actions.
Don't come after me! Don't follow me! Don't even look at me! Stop it! Stop! I've had enough of you.
You betrayed me.
You're a Judas! I can't bear to look at you.
Hi! Bye! Okay.
All right, fine.
Please.
This is best for you.
Bah! Thank you for coming to get me.
While you were away, I started going to a support group for people with bipolar family members.
They told me I'm what's called a "co-dependent.
" You know what that means.
Yeah.
They said I've been enabling a lot of your bad behavior by cleaning up your messes.
And they told me it's not good for both of us and I can't do it anymore.
It's okay.
What about my job? I used the usual line with your boss exhaustion.
I don't know how it went down, but that's the kind of thing I can't do anymore.
I can't make those calls for you.
Okay.
Come on.
Let's get out of here.
I wanted to clean this up before you got back.
I get it.
You can't.
You have to go? Yeah.
Helping Esme with a science project tonight.
It's due tomorrow.
I'm scared.
I don't know how I'm gonna get through this.
At work tomorrow I've been away for so long.
I don't know what I'm gonna say.
You are stronger than you think you are.
Call me.
You're amazing.
Do you have any idea how grateful I am to you? The therapist told me that I got to start making gratitude lists, and you're at the top of mine.
Where is it? Oh.
Hey.
Hi, Aunt Kate.
I just wanted to hear your voice.
Oh, you don't know how much that means to me.
I've missed you so much.
How does it feel to be home? It's, uh it's great.
It's great to be home.
I can't wait to see you.
You okay? I'm sorry.
No, don't apologize to me.
I love you.
You've never done anything to hurt me.
You've always been there for me, always.
I love you.
Good night, Aunt Kate.
Good night.
Hello? Kitty? Who is this? It's Johnny.
Please, don't hang up.
I need your help.
I have to find our daughter.
My letter of recommendation.
Whoa! Okay! All right.
Okay, that's enough.
Okay.
Now, I hope you match at the Cube.
I really do.
Imagine if I get my residency here.
We could be colleagues.
Don't push it.
Front desk.
Is Dr.
Black in yet? No, Dr.
Bickman.
I'll let you know when she comes in.
Yep.
That's the third time he's called.
One question.
"Exhaustion" What do you think that means? Uh, wild guess? It's a fancy way of saying you're overworked and tired.
Hey, what's up with her? I thought she liked Dr.
Black.
Well, Carlotta and Bickman get busy every now and again.
One time, I totally walked in on them in the pharmaceutical closet, and she was getting her medicine.
Hey! - You look great.
- Hi.
How are you feeling? Good.
Much better.
- Hi! - Hello.
- Oh, I love your hair.
- Thank you.
Front desk.
Dr.
Black? Dr.
Bickman wants to see you.
He's waiting in his office.
Yeah? Why didn't you tell me you were bipolar? - Who told you? - Mahmoud.
She was there when the parking garage called to say you took my car.
- About that, I - F-forget it.
Who else knows? Owen.
But she only told him when she heard you were coming back.
Don't panic.
Having a medical condition isn't a firing offense.
Owen warned us, after Reynaud, we couldn't hide anything that could harm a patient, remember? But you never harmed any patient.
I could have, and Mahmoud knows it.
What am I gonna do? You're gonna defend yourself.
You're gonna walk in there with your head high.
You have nothing to be ashamed of.
This is where you belong.
And I'll back you up.
Thank you.
And you and me You'll get no more stress from that quarter.
We're friends Great friends, right? Come in.
Take a seat.
What I can't handle is the betrayal.
I was afraid to tell you the truth.
I was ashamed.
Why'd you think so little of me? I didn't think.
I felt, which I have a tendency to do.
As far back as medical school, third year, when you went missing before exams, and your aunt called me and told me that you had a bad case of mono.
That was a lie.
I was in McLean's.
And the conference you missed in Seattle? Okay, that was food poisoning.
Okay, here's my dilemma.
My job is to ensure the safety of the patients here.
The foremost authority on bipolar in the country is bipolar, and she practices every day with no problems.
Jamison, John Hopkins.
I know about her.
But we're talking about you.
You crossed the line.
You tried to treat a patient in a manic state, and I'm guessing that you were off your meds when you decided to cure rabies.
Owen, please.
Give me another chance.
I promise I will not let you down.
I know you do not want to fire me for having a different brain.
Refusing to stigmatize people is what this place is all about.
It's what we're about.
We're a neurological facility.
We're not a psychiatric one.
But I have decided to keep you on for now Strictly on a trial basis under certain conditions.
I will supervise everything you do Every test, every procedure you order goes through me.
I make the ultimate decision.
Okay.
I want to speak to your medicating psychiatrist.
No holds barred.
Owen, that's asking a lot.
I And it's non-negotiable.
And finally, is there anything else that I need to know? Anything? Any other shoe to drop? Because if there is and you don't tell me about it now No, there's not.
I swear it.
When I was in treatment, I listened to the message you left me, over and over.
When I came out of the mania and the darkness closed in, it sustained me to know that I hadn't lost this, that you were still there for me.
Well, tell me about your first day back.
Yeah.
It was hard.
I, uh I felt very exposed.
I felt naked.
My job is hanging by a thread.
And on top of that, you had to deal with a call from Esme's biological father.
I haven't heard Johnny's voice in 16 years.
I know he's gonna call again.
And what will you say? Do you have a plan? I will explain it is a legal issue, it was a closed adoption, and he will never see her.
Good.
I like this.
You had a shock.
It could have derailed you, and it didn't.
What is it? It's Owen.
He doesn't trust me.
I'm not sure he ever will.
He could let me go tomorrow.
I'll talk to him.
And now, tell me about Dr.
Bickman.
What did you feel when you saw him? He was amazing.
- Hmm? - Yeah.
He was kind and treated me like a dear friend.
Is that how you want to be treated? No.
Yes.
Yes.
I-I couldn't handle anything more right now.
Yes? Sit down, Catherine.
As a psychiatrist, I understand what bipolar is.
You're not responsible for your actions when you're ill.
You deserve help and compassion.
Thank you.
I only wish you would let me help you.
All of this could have been avoided.
You're right.
I wasn't in a condition to use good judgment.
That's the problem.
Let me be clear.
I'm not angry or upset.
None of this is personal.
But I must tell you honestly that I don't think you should be here.
A month is not enough.
You will relapse, as I suspect you have many times, so I don't believe you should be seeing patients.
But I would never harm a patient.
You almost did, as you recall.
If you cared about your patients as much as yourself, you'd be the first to say that you can't risk practicing here, at least not now.
All right, thank you.
I appreciate your honesty.
I do.
But I'm gonna prove you wrong.
I sincerely hope so.
Hi.
I'm Dr.
black.
Truman Bishop.
You can call me Truman.
Don't bother trying to talk to him.
He doesn't speak unless he wants to.
He just stares at me, follows me everywhere, dresses just like me, right down to the socks.
And every gesture See? Look at him.
He's doing it right now and driving me crazy.
I'm haunted by this "other," a carbon copy of myself but a horrible, twisted version.
Can you help me make him go away so I can be alone again? - Catherine.
- Yes.
I've been looking for you.
Any significant findings in Mr.
Bishop's exam? Um No focal deficits.
Right, there's no nausea, no headaches, no sign of brain tumor at all.
It's a clear case of heautoscopy It's the classic doppelganger experience.
Interesting factoid In folklore, the sight of the imaginary twin is often seen as a harbinger of death.
It happened to Abraham Lincoln.
On the evening of his election, Lincoln saw himself in the mirror with two faces.
One was paler than the other.
His wife said it was a sign that he would be elected to a second term but that he wouldn't survive it, which, of course, turned out to be the case.
Is "factoid" a word? She has a good point.
Early death does correlate with heautoscopy.
It often coexists with depression, and he's obviously depressed.
Perhaps he should consult with Dr.
Mahmoud.
Any history of psychosis? He was sectioned a few weeks ago.
The E.
R.
diagnosed a psychotic break, but it was a misdiagnosis.
I'll let Mahmoud decide that.
The underlying problem here is not psychiatric.
He has a seizure disorder.
Any overt signs of seizure? No, but I'd like to get a 24-hour E.
E.
G.
Without any seizure activity? Is there any reason why we shouldn't do this? I've already scheduled it.
You should have checked with me first.
I'll allow it.
Come on, not now.
It only takes five minutes.
I have the key to the pharmaceutical room.
I have an ulnar nerve decompression.
Now I'm gonna have to scrub in again.
So Catherine's back and now I'm out? Is that it? You really want to do this? Yeah.
Catherine and I are friends.
We have a professional relationship.
You're in love with her.
I'm not in love with anybody.
Are you lying to yourself or just me? So, match day, huh? What's that all about? It's the day when medical students all across the country find out where they'll be doing their residencies next year.
We've each submitted our first choice.
Leo and I want to be here at the Cube, obviously.
He wants the one spot for neurosurgery, I want the one for neurology.
On the actual day, there's a ceremony.
At every medical school, the same drama plays out.
The letters are laid on a table, and exactly at the stroke of noon, we all open them at once.
And in one blood-curdling instant, triumph or disaster.
Ali? - Oh, my God.
- Hey.
- Who is that? - That's Ali.
She had the neurology rotation right before you.
What up? Ali, this MacKenzie.
MacKenzie, this is Ali.
Hi.
What have you been doing? Oh, I-I published a paper in Neurology on how infarct and non-infarcted brain volumes affect locomotive performance following stroke, and this summer, I'm working with partners in health in Rwanda.
Rwanda? Yeah, to help start their first neuro clinic there.
Where do you want to do your neuro residency, if you don't mind my asking? Oh, I'm going for the Cube.
How about you? What are you still doing in bed, you lazy good-for-nothing? Get up.
I said, "get up!" Let's go! Move! Do it now! Don't look at me like that.
Stop it.
Stop it! Stop it! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Hello, Truman.
This is Dr.
Lark.
How are you feeling today? I'm not sure how I am because I don't know who I am.
Have you been seeing your twin? He was here a moment ago.
Do you feel dizzy or confused? Dizzy, yes.
I believe this is a complex partial seizure disorder.
That's why you have the hallucinations.
That's when you see your twin.
I can't tell the difference anymore.
So, to make sure this is CPSD, we need to do a 24-hour E.
E.
G.
In our sleep clinic to monitor for seizure activity.
Now, because the seizures are very subtle, this is the simplest way to prove they exist.
Truman? Do whatever you have to do.
Kitty? Johnny? I'm dying.
I have to find our daughter.
You have acute myelogenous leukemia? Yep.
AML.
For how long? Uh, diagnosed a little over a year ago.
I'm sorry.
You're in chemo now? Yeah.
They they call it "salvage chemo" 'cause they can't cure anything.
It just keeps you around long enough till you can find a donor.
If I don't get a transplant soon, I'm I'm not gonna live more than a few months.
I have no more living relatives, which is why it's important that I find our daughter.
Johnny, it was a closed adoption.
I signed papers.
The adoptive parents are never to be bothered.
This is my only chance.
Don't you see that? And can't you do something? I never stopped thinking about you, Kitty.
I used to read about you.
And I never intended to bring this kind of bother down on you or our child.
I didn't.
I mean, she's like 16 now, right? So doesn't she have the right to decide for herself whether or not she wants to save her father? She has a father and a mother.
It would be up to them to decide this.
I You know where she is, don't you? Yes.
Please, Catherine, tell whoever has our little girl that this is my last chance.
If they turn me away, they're signing my death sentence.
No! Leave me alone! Get help.
Hey, hey, calm down.
It's okay.
I'm a neuroscientist.
I understand bipolar.
I just can't believe how well she hid it from me.
Well, that could reassure you she can manage her disease.
I've had patients who hid it for 20 years more.
I know, I know if they stay on their medication.
It's extremely common for people with bipolar to resist taking their medication.
Is is that an issue with Catherine? It has been in the past.
- Hmm.
- Dr.
Black is lucky in that she has more mania than depression.
The consequence is that she misses the upside of what the medications suppress The insights, the ecstasy, the energy.
Does she have slips? Yes, some with near-fatal consequences, but never for her patients.
The danger's always been for herself.
She came to work at the Cube in a manic state.
That can't happen.
It might.
You'll have to accept that.
You understand the situation I'm in.
I do.
But isn't the Cube a place where part of your mission is to help those with neurological issues adapt to their conditions and discover, in spite of the limitations, new gifts? Yes.
Dr.
Black's bipolar has that quality.
She's a great doctor, and in part because she understands her patients because she's like them.
She has a different brain.
In my opinion, the rewards of having Dr.
Black at the Cube far outweigh the risks.
But there will always be risks.
Always.
We have to tell Esme.
No.
We were gonna do it eventually, so we do it now.
This is unfair, and you both know it.
We made a deal, and I agreed on one condition That I would never end up the odd one out.
You won't be the odd one out.
I will.
You're both her real family, and she'll know that now.
You're always gonna be her mother.
Always.
You think I want this? I don't want this.
This is my worst nightmare.
Today, she loves me.
Tomorrow, she's gonna know that I abandoned her.
Look, we are all in this together.
She thinks I'm her father.
Now I'm her uncle.
No one's gonna take your place.
I don't want to tell her.
There is a life at stake here.
What about Esme's life? Are we are we gonna risk her happiness, her mental health? What will the shock of this do to her? She's my first priority.
I don't know this Johnny.
What about the day when Esme finds out that he did exist and that she could have saved him but we stopped it? What then? Do we want to be responsible for his death? Oh.
Hi, guys.
You're home early.
Yeah, uh, orchestra was cancelled.
Thank God.
I have so much homework.
What's going on? I came to see your parents.
Is everything okay? Everything's fine.
Why don't you go upstairs and do your homework? Okay.
She's strong.
She'll adapt.
We don't have to cushion her from every challenge.
For every reason under the sun, we have to tell her the truth.
Not "we.
" If this is gonna happen, you and I will do it.
Reagan.
I understand.
You're her parents.
However you want to handle this.
Hi.
Hey.
I don't want to disturb you.
I've been thinking.
I don't know.
Can we rewind the clock? - Good morning.
- Good morning.
Your patient, Truman Bishop, had a psychotic break.
I've asked Dr.
Mahmoud to join us.
What makes this a psychotic break? He's had a seizure, and now he's obviously hallucinating.
The 24-hour E.
E.
G.
shows no seizure activity.
Which means this debate is over.
No, the E.
E.
G.
can often be inconclusive.
Sometimes, they miss seizure activity.
We're gonna need a SPECT to be certain.
We can do that next time Truman sees his double.
Dr.
Mahmoud's taking over the case.
Okay, I don't understand.
What's going on here? I mean, I'm good at this.
Have you forgotten that? I told you that from now on, I'm making all the decisions.
Farrah.
Hey, about last night.
- It won't happen again.
- No, no, no, just Let me explain.
Just listen.
It was harder than I expected, not seeing you for a month, and we both know what happens when we get together, so I was just trying to get you out of my mind.
With Carlotta.
It's not very gentlemanly of you, Bick.
I never was much of a gentleman.
And I never wanted to be Till I met you.
I can't do this.
I'm sorry.
I I got to take this, okay? Joshua, what happened? We told her.
And? Uh, she was quiet for a while.
Then she said, "that explains a lot.
" - She said that? - Yeah.
And then afterwards, she went into her room and locked her door.
- Did she cry? - No.
She was angry, Catherine.
But Reagan cried all night.
Will she let me talk to her? She's not talking to any of us.
She went to school today without a word.
Did she agree to see Johnny? Yes.
To take the test to see if she could be a donor? Yes.
All right, I'll I'll call him right away.
We'll get through this.
It had to happen.
She adores you, and she loves Reagan more than she knows, okay? I'll call you when I get Johnny, all right? Mr.
Bishop.
So far, we haven't found anything in our tests, so what we want to try next is a full psychiatric exam.
This is Dr.
Mahmoud.
She's our consulting psychiatrist.
You think I'm crazy? We think you're hallucinating, and that's consistent with psychosis.
Fine, take him.
He's the crazy one.
Do you remember Catherine said that when he sees doppelgangers, he's actually having a seizure.
She wanted to get a SPECT scan while he was having one to get a seizure focus.
Look, there's another one.
Okay, do do you smell a kind of a metallic odor right now? Yes.
Mm-hmm.
That may be consistent with a seizure.
I'm gonna order a SPECT scan.
Johnny? Johnny? No carotid pulse.
I'm calling 911.
Four, five, six, seven, eight.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Joshua? You got to get Esme.
Bring her to the hospital.
Johnny's on his way there.
I just found him in his apartment.
He was unconscious.
He's running out of time.
We can't find Esme.
She didn't go to school.
They just called us and told us she never even showed up.
We don't know where she is.
She ran away, Kate.
There's the focus of abnormal activity in the left temporal lobe.
If you remove it, Mr.
Bishop may stop having hallucinations.
Well, she was right.
I think it's time to trust her.
Let go.
Believe me, I'd like to.
Dr.
Bickman, they're paging you in the O.
R.
Go.
To be continued.
Got to stop doubting her judgment as a doctor.
She's incredibly gifted.
This place isn't the same without her.
Dr.
Bickman, report to the O.
R.
Dr.
Bickman, to the O.
R.
stat.
Will? Hey.
Esme.
What are you doing here? Hiding from everybody.
What's wrong? I'm not who I thought I was.
Esme? My whole life, everyone I've ever loved was lying to me My mom, my dad.
I can't even call them that anymore.
They're not my real parents.
Come here.
Good luck.
Okay.
I'll see you on match day.
Okay, can't wait.
You have everything.
You're beautiful, brilliant.
You're the kind of woman I always wanted to be and never will be.
You could have a great residency anywhere.
The Harvard program, Johns Hopkins, Stanford, UCSF, name it.
But please don't try for the Cube.
This is all I have.
Then you need to get something else in your life.
Hi.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Is that him? - Yeah.
It's Johnny.
He's stable, but it was a close call.
The chemo suppressed his immune system, and he went into septic shock.
He almost died today.
Will called.
Esme's been at the restaurant.
Okay.
Great.
- Are you okay? - Yep.
You had us so worried.
Esme.
I love you.
I'm ready to meet my biological father.
I want my real dad to come with me.
And my real mom.
I think we should open our letters at the same time.
Oh, heads up.
It's 11:59.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Oh, sorry.
Come on, I want to I want to talk to you about what's gonna happen with you.
You were right about Truman.
And you're usually right about your patients.
And that's a gift.
It's something that I can't live without, so I'm not going to second-guess you anymore.
Thank you.
But I hope that sometime in the future, you will repay my trust.
I will.
I promise I will.
How old are you? I got some news.
She's got the same blood type as Johnny.
They're a good match.
That means a chance that it's got a good chance of working.
That's great.
When can I talk to her? It's a lot to take in.
Just give her time.
I'm proud of her.
You should be, too.
I'll never stop being proud of her.
Truman, to free you from these hallucinations, we're gonna have to operate to remove part of your left temporal lobe.
All I want to know is, can you make these people go away? The surgery is successful in the large majority of cases, but it's a very serious operation and there are always risks.
My guess would be you would have some memory loss, which I hope would be temporary.
Please do whatever you have to do.
I just want to be normal.
Scalpel.
Scalpel.
Dr.
Morely, there's something that I have to tell you.
Well, go on.
Last month, Dr.
Black had me fill out a prescription for oxycodone.
Oh, oxy? Yeah, it's for Skylar Redmond.
He has a post-lumbar headache.
She gave him oxycodone.
He must have been in pain.
No, I took care of Skylar, and I'm sure that he was never in pain.
What's your point, Carlotta? Nurses administer the meds, but she insisted that she could handle it.
I'll give it to him.
Okay.
Are you saying what I think you're saying? Thanks.
The oxy wasn't for Skylar.
That's a very serious accusation.
Are you prepared to back it up? Yeah.
I printed out the prescription that Dr.
Black signed.
And here's Skylar's mother's number.
She will tell you that she never left his side while he was a patient here.
Dr.
Black never gave him this drug.
You're fired.
I need you to fill this prescription for me.
Oxy? I took some pills.
Pills? What kind of pills? What'd you take? - How's Joey? - They can't get him off the vent.
I never should have operated.
It's all my fault.
I had feelings for you I've never had for anyone.
I don't want them.
We have to re-balance my meds.
Do you still hope for a more balanced life? Now I just want to survive.
St.
John the Divine is one of the biggest Gothic cathedrals in the world.
Now, remember, when we go inside, everybody in group "A" stays with Jeremy's mom, and everyone in group "B" stays with me and Rahim's mom, okay? So, Mira, does Rahim have B.
O.
yet? Jeremy's in the shower for hours.
Boxes of Kleenex disappearing right and left.
Have you caught Rahim You know? Rahim would never, no.
Rahim! Stand back from the curb.
Hey, one, two, three, eyes on me.
Everybody ready? Ok, everybody stay calm.
Stop it.
You need to calm down.
Stop this.
You won't hurt me.
I know you don't want to.
You don't want to hurt me.
You don't want to hurt anybody.
Just put the knife down.
Put the knife down.
Look in my eyes.
Look in my eyes.
There are children here.
You don't want to hurt them.
Police are coming.
They will shoot you.
Give me the knife.
Let me save you.
Give me that knife.
There you go.
Rahim, your mom's a badass.
Oh, you ran all the way here? Yeah.
It's called "jogging.
" It's a form of exercise.
You seem irritated.
Yeah, I am.
That's why I'm exercising.
Exercise is a good strategy for you.
Well, it's not working.
Neither are these.
I have spontaneous medication tolerance.
And it's certainly exacerbated - by the upheaval in your life - Right.
Telling Will about Esme and breaking up with him.
Yeah, now I'm up all night I'm up all night, worried that he's gonna say something to Esme out of spite.
And then there's Bickman, and then there's Will.
- I mean - Slow down.
Slow down.
What is going on with you and Dr.
Bickman? I told you.
Nothing.
Nothing.
You're both seeing other people? I'm not.
He might be.
I don't ask.
Aw.
Has he told you how he's feeling? No.
He doesn't like feelings, okay? Medication tolerance is a serious problem.
I would like you to check into the hospital today.
What? It would only be for a week - Two, the most.
- No.
It's the safest way to re-balance your medication.
There's not a chance.
We can do that here.
We can do that right here, right now, with you and me, in the office.
We do that here.
- I'm not going inpatient.
- Why? - I'm not going inpatient.
- Why? Why? It's a mild overreaction.
Besides, it's not a good time.
I-I have a talk at Harvard that I'm doing Thursday night.
I'm presenting a year's worth of research on how the brain processes fear.
We discovered this new neural circuit.
It's it's incredible.
It links directly into the amygdala.
That's where the brain processes all the fear memories.
If this pans out, this could be, like, really important protocol.
I mean, it could be one of the most important things in my career.
Probably be named after me The Catherine Black, - or they'll call it "Black" - Catherine.
Catherine.
You are agitated, you're irritable, and now you sound grandiose.
I'm not grandiose.
It's the truth.
I would like you to call Joshua.
You need your family now.
He's camping, okay? He's unreachable.
Are you seeing patients? No, of course I'm not.
I'm not an idiot.
I won't see any patients until I'm I'm balanced, okay? Just look at the last few weeks.
You went off your medications to look for a cure for rabies.
You had a slip with an opiate.
Well, that's not gonna happen, all right? - Do you believe that? - I don't know.
I don't know if I believe it or not.
It's a coin toss there.
Okay, here's my idea.
We try a new combination of drugs right now.
If I'm not on an even keel by next week I can't see you next week unless you agree to go inpatient.
That sounded like a threat.
No.
It's a boundary.
I have to draw a line.
I'm your doctor.
I know you.
I've seen you since you were 16 years old.
I want you to trust me and agree to be hospitalized.
If you walk out of that door, you shouldn't come back.
I can't see you if you won't let me help you at the moment you need my help most.
I'm not a child anymore, okay? You know, everything has to come to an end at some point, right? Maybe it's time.
Maybe it's time this comes to an end.
Thank you for everything that you've done for me.
I mean that.
Surprised.
Bring up the next slide, MacKenzie.
Happy.
She's very happy.
Next, please.
And he's sad.
Angry.
Disgusted.
Disdain.
Mira? Well I'm not sure.
You're not sure what emotion that person's expressing? He looks confused.
It's not exactly confusion.
Do you want to try again? Um Catherine just who I've been looking for.
Here I am.
I need you for a consult on a new patient.
Who is she? New Jersey housewife who talked down a madman on the street the other day after he stabbed two pedestrians.
- It was all over the news.
- What? Wow.
Good job! Her name is Mira Darvish.
Her husband brought her in because No, Farrah.
I'm sorry.
I can't.
I, uh see, I'm not taking on any new patients till I get back from Boston.
I'm I'm doing a speech at Harvard on Thursday night.
Maybe you heard about it My new fear protocol? I got to do some preparation.
That's going to be on the news too.
This patient needs your help.
According to Mr.
Darvish, his wife's blind courage is part of a pattern of uncharacteristic behavior.
She's become contrary and oppositional instead of What, an obedient wife? I ran the affect set to test her emotion-recognition ability.
She correctly identified every emotion except fear.
She's also complained of a persistent headache and fevers on and off for the past few weeks.
- I suspect something neurological.
- Well, I suspect her husband doesn't like standing around like a groupie while she gets all the kudos for being brave.
A certain amount of fear is necessary to our survival.
Not as much as you think.
But bravery should be applauded and celebrated, not turned into a disease, right? There.
That one triggered some big-time prefrontal-cortex action.
That's what Dr.
Black was hoping to capture for her presentation.
Cool.
Load up the next Q.
T.
Let's see if this dude's scared of sharks.
I don't need an FMRI to know what I'm afraid of.
Oh, that's right.
You get your Step 2 exam results this week.
Any day.
If I didn't ace it, I'm done at the Cube.
Bickman will never give me a recommendation.
I'm looking at a residency in rural Nebraska.
That's what I'm afraid of.
Well, you used the TDCS I built you.
You went in there with a high-octane brain.
I'm sure you did great.
Okay, please play the random set now.
Here's the thing I went in with my own brain.
I stopped using the TDCS.
Why? I decided to bet on myself.
I needed to know that I could do it on my own, without your help or anyone else's.
Big bet.
Now you're terrified it's the wrong one.
Yeah.
Ketogenic.
Yeah, it's a mandated diet, for health reasons.
I'd appreciate it if the hotel could arrange that for me.
Thanks.
You look nice.
You got a date? Who is he? Who said it was a he? Hey.
The imaging for the new aneurysm patient should be up.
I heard you haven't operated in a week.
That must be, like, a record for you.
Yeah, I got to finish my book.
My editor's been breathing down my neck.
So, obviously, this one's not a good candidate for coiling.
You're gonna want to open him up.
Nah, send it to Phoebe.
I think it's fine for coiling.
Come on.
This has Bickman's trademark craniotomy written all over it.
It's a perfect operation for you.
I disagree.
Bick I need to talk to you outside.
You got to fix it.
It's beneath you.
What are you talking about? You're afraid to operate.
Excuse me? I see it in your face.
It's obvious.
This isn't who you are.
This is not the man I know.
You're confident.
You know what? You're out of line.
No, I'm not.
You have PTSD, okay? It's understandable.
It's fine.
It's blowback from Joey's surgery, all right? You just got to fix it.
All right, listen to me.
You got to go see Lina.
You get her to rewire your brain and just erase the memory of the surgery.
What? Yeah, she can do it.
It's my new fear protocol.
While you're at it, get her to get me out of there, as well, seeing as you're so terrified of your feelings for me.
No need.
At this point, I have no feelings for you at all.
- Yeah, you do, and, no, I don't.
I'm not.
- Excuse me? I said I don't need you.
Good.
All the better.
Don't believe a word he says.
You're the important one.
I'm not even It's so not necessary.
What is Don't be afraid, Rahim.
Come out here with mommy.
Mira! Mira! Mira! Mira! Rahim! No! Don't do this! Mira! Mira! - It's gonna be okay, okay? - Mira! Now, look at me.
Come closer.
Rahim! No! No! Stop right where you are, buddy! Don't move! I'm coming to get you.
He's fine.
Just leave him alone.
No, he's not fine.
Mira, he's not fine, okay? Just look down.
Do you see how high up you are? You see? Mira, let the guards help you down! You don't want to hurt your son.
Come here, buddy.
Just sit down.
Just sit down.
I got you.
Okay.
Hey.
I, uh I hear you can rewire a memory.
Who told you that? I just want to know how you do it.
TMS therapy, or trans-cranial magnetic stimulation.
It's part of Dr.
Black's new fear protocol.
We're testing it now.
Is it dangerous? We use coils Magnetic coils to stimulate your medial prefrontal cortex, - which regulates the amygdala - Amygdala, which is where fear memories are processed.
It's experimental.
As you know, any time you mess with the brain I want you to try it on me.
How did you get her back here? She has Kluever-Bucy.
I'm not familiar with Kluever-Bucy.
I assume it's, uh, a neurological disease? Results from bilateral lesions of the amygdala caused by infection or injury.
Patients usually present with five possible symptoms, fearlessness being the most obvious.
I assume you're doing tests to confirm? No need.
She has three out of five symptoms.
Any moron can call it.
All right, well, fearlessness We've seen that.
Uh visual agnosia Failure to recognize common objects.
Two.
Three hyperorality.
There we go.
Done.
MacKenzie, can you come here, please? Can you put that down? Can you send Mrs.
Darvish, please, - for an MRI and a spinal tap? - Yep.
Happy? Too bad you didn't do it earlier, when I asked you to see her the first time.
You're right.
I should have seen her when you asked.
I haven't been sleeping very well lately.
I'm sorry.
Bad judgment on my part.
Catherine.
Catherine.
Wait.
Hey.
What's going on? I don't know.
You said you weren't sleeping, that you were under a lot of stress.
During the rabies case, your behavior was Genius, yeah.
I cured a girl who was dying.
Yes, you did.
You know, Farrah, I am in a hurry.
I can see that.
Seems like you're rushing everywhere these days, which is why I'm here.
I'm worried about you, Catherine.
I don't think you're well.
I've been meaning to ask you for a personal consultation for a while.
Why? Nobody knows this about me, but, um I've seen a psychiatrist for many years.
Um my mother, she, uh, she committed suicide when I was very young.
She was very unstable, you see.
Sorry.
I had no idea.
My psychiatrist and I recently, we, uh, we hit a wall.
Yeah, it happens.
Right.
So, I was thinking it was time to try somebody new, you know? Somebody younger, somebody with a fresh perspective.
I see the work that you do here.
I mean, you are so impressive, Farrah.
I I mean, I just don't know if you would consider having me as your patient.
Wow.
Uh I'm very flattered.
I could only do it if I could trust you, though.
Patient-doctor confidentiality is Is sacred.
I understand, and I completely agree.
It goes without saying that anything you tell me would be in the strictest confidence.
I knew I could trust you.
You can.
Completely.
Okay, this is amazing.
I am I'm so relieved.
This has been so stressful for me.
I've just been so worried, and thank you.
So, when do you think we can schedule for a session? I mean, I'm thinking the moment I get back from Harvard - would be - Yeah, uh, I'll check some times and see when they work with yours.
Okay.
So, I created a quicktime movie of the kind of images that provoke your PTSD reaction.
While you watch, the magnetic coil will send a signal to the medial prefrontal cortex of your brain.
Dr.
Black believes it will interrupt the connection between your fear and your memory.
Put in the earbuds.
Okay.
Here we go.
I just got the results from my Step 2 exam.
Uh, no Jack.
No queen, no king.
Just call me Ace? How about super ace? 97th percentile ace.
Oh, I'm so happy for you.
Thank you.
And I did it on my own.
My memory is really back.
I'm no longer tied to artificially stimulating my brain.
Congratulations.
Oh.
What are you two doing? Great news, champ.
I'm sorry.
Um that was awkward.
What were you two doing? None of your business Ace.
You were doing the experimental fear protocol on Dr.
Bickman to help him overcome a PTSD reaction he had to when he botched that aneurysm repair.
- That's a theory.
- It's brilliant.
Why don't you try it on yourself? For your, you know, agoraphobia.
You think I haven't tried? It doesn't work? That sucks.
What if it doesn't work for Bickman? Might not.
But mine's different.
It's biology, not caused by a traumatic event.
I'm hardwired, born this way.
That is why I am a hopeless case.
I didn't know you were coming by.
Joshua's still away.
No, I know.
I See, I'm under a lot of stress right now, and I don't think I can spend the night by myself.
Is it okay if I stay here? - Please? - Of course.
Great.
I'll just take what I need so I don't have to wake you up in the morning.
Thank you for letting me have your room.
It's okay.
Everything's okay, Aunt Kate.
You're here with us now.
Everything's fine.
Have you eaten? No.
I'm not hungry.
Are you sure? Yeah.
I just need to rest.
Do you want to call your doctor? No.
I don't need to.
I just need to get some sleep.
That's what this is.
I'm just exhausted, yeah, so I'm just tired.
Okay.
Good night.
Good night, Aunt Kate.
- Good night.
- Thank you.
Mom.
Mm-hmm? What's happening? She can't sleep.
People with bipolar have insomnia.
It's scary.
I don't know what to do.
I wish dad were here.
Dad needed a break.
Do you think maybe you should go and check on her? Lina.
It's Leo.
Open up.
There's someone here to see you.
I told him, Lina, that you're agoraphobic, that you have panic attacks when you try to go outside the Cube Palpitations, shortness of breath, sweating, nausea that you never leave, that you live here.
I'll leave you two alone.
Hey.
Why didn't you tell me? I mean, I thought you'd stood me up.
I was ashamed.
Hey.
It is not your fault.
You know, we can work on it uh, get you therapy.
Babe, that won't work.
I'll show you why.
You see that? That's my brain.
That is the amygdala, where our fight-or-flight impulses are formed.
You see how mine is all lit up? It means I have an overactive amygdala.
In my case, the fear it generates is fear of open spaces.
I need to stay safe, indoors.
It's always been that way, and it always will be.
It's my biology.
I can't change it.
The way my eyes are brown and my hair is black Biology isn't destiny.
Sometimes it is.
You should leave, Bruce, because I-I'll never be able to go to a restaurant with you.
I'll never see your apartment.
I'll never be able to share the things you do outside, or your life.
We will have to see about that.
One step at a time.
Morning.
Catherine.
I made you some oatmeal.
Thank you.
It was so strange, spending the night in my old room.
It's so strange.
You weren't in it much.
I heard you all night.
I'm glad you finally got to sleep.
D-do you like raisins, or Is Esme gone? She left for school.
It's 9:30.
It is? Yeah.
I've got to go.
I got to pack.
Pack? Yeah, I'm doing a presentation at Harvard.
I got to leave tonight.
It's very important.
That doesn't sound like a good idea.
D-d-do you think maybe you can postpone it? Why? I wish I were you.
You have everything I've ever wanted.
Catherine Get off me.
Here you are.
You got to go see Mira.
She needs you.
Oh, you're an idiot? You're gonna go and expose yourself? Huh? Are you crazy? You cannot go.
You cannot go to the Cube.
Calm down.
Don't expose yourself.
Just, uh, maybe think you should go see Will.
Okay, I'll see Will.
It's fine.
You made a lot of progress today.
Girl, you busted my chops, all right? With that salutation to the sun sequence that went on half an hour.
Will! What are you doing here? Oh, I knew I'd I'd find you here.
Wednesday morning yoga with pretty Miss Gumby.
Yeah.
Bores me completely.
Are you stalking me now? - You are pretty.
- Haven't done enough? - You guys have sex yet? - Hey, stop that.
Leave us alone.
- Totally having sex.
- What did you say? - I would if I was you.
- What did you say? It's totally fine.
I would do exactly the same.
Excuse us a moment.
The thing is what I'm saying is you should have it.
Okay.
Catherine.
Don't touch me.
Don't touch me! - Let's call Josh.
- No.
Esme.
What about her? You're not gonna tell her, are you? Not in a million years.
Not even out of spite? I won't.
I promise.
You're too good for me.
He wouldn't do the simplest surgery.
Everybody's talking about it.
For an anterior cervical discectomy and fusion.
Couldn't even bring himself to do the neck incision.
The famous Dr.
Bickman.
Your fear protocol doesn't work.
It's a crock.
Hi, Dr.
Black.
I have you all ready to go to Boston.
I charged your laptop, and I placed a backup copy of your powerpoint in a Dropbox folder labeled "Dr.
Black's fear protocol.
" Can I have Mira's lab results? Oh, yes.
Um I need the number for the NSA, also.
NSA, as in "national security agency"? They're after my protocol.
Everybody wants it.
What room is she in? Patient room two.
Mira, mira, that's my wallet.
It doesn't belong in your mouth.
God! Good morning, Mira.
How are you feeling? She's been talking back to me all morning, and she's eating everything in sight.
Yeah, I wouldn't talk back to you if you would quit bossing me around.
She threw a remote at me.
Did anyone tell you that? Are you gonna turn me back into a frightened little dormouse? They'd better if they expect me to pay.
Why don't you leave her alone? Hey, what's going on? I thought you gave this case to Dr.
Morely.
I did, but I found out the cause of your kluever-bucy.
So, it's a rare bacterial infection.
It's called Whipple's Disease.
It's damaged both of your amygdala.
Owen probably missed it, 'cause it is the sort of thing that only I can see.
So, what we're gonna do is we're gonna treat it with two weeks of I.
V.
penicillin, then we're gonna transition to a long course of Bactrim.
Now, the infection is probably not gonna be eradicated from your body for about a year.
Don't worry.
Within a couple months, you're gonna feel much better, okay? Owen didn't miss it.
He figured it out right away.
I seriously doubt it.
You're never gonna be a dormouse.
- Catherine? - Yes.
Can I see you in my office right now? Sure.
Are you bipolar? Your mother was bipolar, right? It's the most hereditary form of mental illness.
- You can't tell anyone.
- I won't.
You can't.
You're my doctor.
That's right.
But you are bipolar.
You know this disease.
It has a broad spectrum with many different manifestations, from mild mania to severe depression Worst case, psychosis.
I'm the lucky one.
I got the good stuff.
You know, I have the insight.
I have the inspiration.
I've got the drive, the energy, okay? I-I-I'm okay.
I'm like Teddy Roosevelt and and and Charles Dickens.
- Are you off your meds right now? - No.
I'm not.
- I need the truth.
- No, I'm I'm not! They're just not working.
I just need a good night's sleep.
That's not enough.
You obviously can't go to Harvard.
You need to go inpatient immediately.
I can't.
I can't.
I got to reach out to my FBI agent.
I got to debrief him on the alien abduction, so I can't.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
I was just hoping to to beat this holistically, - and I - You can't.
You can't.
We have to act now.
Okay.
I'm in your hands.
I'll do whatever you think.
I'll go inpatient.
- Wonderful.
- Okay.
It's a very positive sign that you'll accept treatment.
I just I need a couple of minutes.
I got to make some calls to Harvard.
I got to tell them that I'm not gonna be there, obviously.
Then we'll find a way to deal with this hospitalization - Quietly, right? - I have a place in mind.
It's a top facility outside the city, in Connecticut.
Discreet, totally private, and you'll get the best treatment there.
I'll just tell Owen that you were suffering from exhaustion.
I'll be right back.
Okay, keys, keys, keys, keys.
Got to find keys, keys, keys.
They're gonna rename the Cube.
In fact, they'll probably rename the whole university after her.
"Black University.
" So, even though the biopsy results were in, the doctor was in his lounge playing foosball.
Hello? Catherine, I-it's me.
I thought about you all day.
I'm downstairs at the Cube.
I know if Josh were here, he'd want you to see a doctor.
I can drive you to a psychiatrist, or an E.
R.
if you prefer.
Please come down.
I-I'll I'll drive you to your doctor's.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I've already left.
Well, turn around.
Please, Catherine.
Please.
Catherine? So, who thinks the cyst should have been managed endoscopically? Well, it was an arachnoid cyst, so Dr.
Bickman! We have a 45-year-old hit-and-run victim.
His scan shows hydrocephalus due to traumatic brain injury, and he's crashing.
He needs an EVD placed immediately.
Where's Dr.
Farber? He's at New York pres today.
There's nobody else.
You show me what to do.
You know.
Kocher's point is 10 centimeters from the nasion, 3 centimeters lateral to the midline, so we should drill here, I think.
Stop.
Stop it.
Scalpel.
Scalpel.
Periosteum's stripped.
Drill.
Carlotta.
Where's Dr.
Black? What do you want with her? Got to tell her something.
I'm all ears.
Hey, has either of you seen Dr.
Black? She left for Boston.
Beautiful procedure on the fly.
It's a thing of beauty.
He's back.
Great work, Dr.
Bickman.
Kudos, man.
Appreciate it.
If I called you by your name, boy Come on.
Would you look, would you look, would you look my way? I'll be singing like a sparrow Can you feel, can you feel, can you feel it in your veins You've got me in your hair You've got me in your lungs You've got me in your heart On the tip of your tongue Catherine, this is Helen Hartramph.
Catherine, please call me back.
Your life is precious.
We'll figure out a way to get you sane and healthy again.
Likewise You feed me from the ashes All that's left is a star ignited by a spark Don't fake it I peel like an onion Let it burn, let it burn, let it burn your eyes You've got me in your hair You've got me in your lungs You've got me in your heart And you've kept me in the dark You've got me in your hair You've got me in your lungs You've got me in your heart On the tip of your tongue And you've kept me in the dark Previously on "Black Box" I'm Esme's mother.
Please don't leave me! Johnny!! You're not gonna tell her, are you? I won't.
I promise.
Are you bipolar? Are you off your meds right now? - No.
I'm not.
- I need the truth.
No, I'm not! They're just not working.
Are you crazy? Okay, I'll see Will.
It's fine.
It's so not necessary.
What is If you want to self-destruct, even I can't stop you.
Catherine, please call me back.
We'll figure out a way to get you sane and healthy again.
The police picked me up half-naked in the woods.
I'd, uh I'd stolen a colleague's car, which, of course, had a tracking device.
It took them no time at all to find me.
You were in jail two days.
Yes.
The car I stole belonged to a friend.
It's a former lover.
He didn't press charges.
And what will you say when you see him again? I don't know.
I can't think of that now.
Catherine is leaving us today.
I'm sensing a lot of apprehension.
I'm terrified.
I came in here kicking and screaming, and now a month later, I don't want to leave.
In the past, you've been tempted to go off your meds and unable to resist that temptation.
It's tough giving up the highs, so easy to forget the lows.
You'll need ongoing therapy for impulse control.
I wish I could do that here.
I wish that I had more time.
I don't want to leave, either.
But you must.
You must learn to handle whatever life has in store And face the consequences of your actions.
Don't come after me! Don't follow me! Don't even look at me! Stop it! Stop! I've had enough of you.
You betrayed me.
You're a Judas! I can't bear to look at you.
Hi! Bye! Okay.
All right, fine.
Please.
This is best for you.
Bah! Thank you for coming to get me.
While you were away, I started going to a support group for people with bipolar family members.
They told me I'm what's called a "co-dependent.
" You know what that means.
Yeah.
They said I've been enabling a lot of your bad behavior by cleaning up your messes.
And they told me it's not good for both of us and I can't do it anymore.
It's okay.
What about my job? I used the usual line with your boss exhaustion.
I don't know how it went down, but that's the kind of thing I can't do anymore.
I can't make those calls for you.
Okay.
Come on.
Let's get out of here.
I wanted to clean this up before you got back.
I get it.
You can't.
You have to go? Yeah.
Helping Esme with a science project tonight.
It's due tomorrow.
I'm scared.
I don't know how I'm gonna get through this.
At work tomorrow I've been away for so long.
I don't know what I'm gonna say.
You are stronger than you think you are.
Call me.
You're amazing.
Do you have any idea how grateful I am to you? The therapist told me that I got to start making gratitude lists, and you're at the top of mine.
Where is it? Oh.
Hey.
Hi, Aunt Kate.
I just wanted to hear your voice.
Oh, you don't know how much that means to me.
I've missed you so much.
How does it feel to be home? It's, uh it's great.
It's great to be home.
I can't wait to see you.
You okay? I'm sorry.
No, don't apologize to me.
I love you.
You've never done anything to hurt me.
You've always been there for me, always.
I love you.
Good night, Aunt Kate.
Good night.
Hello? Kitty? Who is this? It's Johnny.
Please, don't hang up.
I need your help.
I have to find our daughter.
My letter of recommendation.
Whoa! Okay! All right.
Okay, that's enough.
Okay.
Now, I hope you match at the Cube.
I really do.
Imagine if I get my residency here.
We could be colleagues.
Don't push it.
Front desk.
Is Dr.
Black in yet? No, Dr.
Bickman.
I'll let you know when she comes in.
Yep.
That's the third time he's called.
One question.
"Exhaustion" What do you think that means? Uh, wild guess? It's a fancy way of saying you're overworked and tired.
Hey, what's up with her? I thought she liked Dr.
Black.
Well, Carlotta and Bickman get busy every now and again.
One time, I totally walked in on them in the pharmaceutical closet, and she was getting her medicine.
Hey! - You look great.
- Hi.
How are you feeling? Good.
Much better.
- Hi! - Hello.
- Oh, I love your hair.
- Thank you.
Front desk.
Dr.
Black? Dr.
Bickman wants to see you.
He's waiting in his office.
Yeah? Why didn't you tell me you were bipolar? - Who told you? - Mahmoud.
She was there when the parking garage called to say you took my car.
- About that, I - F-forget it.
Who else knows? Owen.
But she only told him when she heard you were coming back.
Don't panic.
Having a medical condition isn't a firing offense.
Owen warned us, after Reynaud, we couldn't hide anything that could harm a patient, remember? But you never harmed any patient.
I could have, and Mahmoud knows it.
What am I gonna do? You're gonna defend yourself.
You're gonna walk in there with your head high.
You have nothing to be ashamed of.
This is where you belong.
And I'll back you up.
Thank you.
And you and me You'll get no more stress from that quarter.
We're friends Great friends, right? Come in.
Take a seat.
What I can't handle is the betrayal.
I was afraid to tell you the truth.
I was ashamed.
Why'd you think so little of me? I didn't think.
I felt, which I have a tendency to do.
As far back as medical school, third year, when you went missing before exams, and your aunt called me and told me that you had a bad case of mono.
That was a lie.
I was in McLean's.
And the conference you missed in Seattle? Okay, that was food poisoning.
Okay, here's my dilemma.
My job is to ensure the safety of the patients here.
The foremost authority on bipolar in the country is bipolar, and she practices every day with no problems.
Jamison, John Hopkins.
I know about her.
But we're talking about you.
You crossed the line.
You tried to treat a patient in a manic state, and I'm guessing that you were off your meds when you decided to cure rabies.
Owen, please.
Give me another chance.
I promise I will not let you down.
I know you do not want to fire me for having a different brain.
Refusing to stigmatize people is what this place is all about.
It's what we're about.
We're a neurological facility.
We're not a psychiatric one.
But I have decided to keep you on for now Strictly on a trial basis under certain conditions.
I will supervise everything you do Every test, every procedure you order goes through me.
I make the ultimate decision.
Okay.
I want to speak to your medicating psychiatrist.
No holds barred.
Owen, that's asking a lot.
I And it's non-negotiable.
And finally, is there anything else that I need to know? Anything? Any other shoe to drop? Because if there is and you don't tell me about it now No, there's not.
I swear it.
When I was in treatment, I listened to the message you left me, over and over.
When I came out of the mania and the darkness closed in, it sustained me to know that I hadn't lost this, that you were still there for me.
Well, tell me about your first day back.
Yeah.
It was hard.
I, uh I felt very exposed.
I felt naked.
My job is hanging by a thread.
And on top of that, you had to deal with a call from Esme's biological father.
I haven't heard Johnny's voice in 16 years.
I know he's gonna call again.
And what will you say? Do you have a plan? I will explain it is a legal issue, it was a closed adoption, and he will never see her.
Good.
I like this.
You had a shock.
It could have derailed you, and it didn't.
What is it? It's Owen.
He doesn't trust me.
I'm not sure he ever will.
He could let me go tomorrow.
I'll talk to him.
And now, tell me about Dr.
Bickman.
What did you feel when you saw him? He was amazing.
- Hmm? - Yeah.
He was kind and treated me like a dear friend.
Is that how you want to be treated? No.
Yes.
Yes.
I-I couldn't handle anything more right now.
Yes? Sit down, Catherine.
As a psychiatrist, I understand what bipolar is.
You're not responsible for your actions when you're ill.
You deserve help and compassion.
Thank you.
I only wish you would let me help you.
All of this could have been avoided.
You're right.
I wasn't in a condition to use good judgment.
That's the problem.
Let me be clear.
I'm not angry or upset.
None of this is personal.
But I must tell you honestly that I don't think you should be here.
A month is not enough.
You will relapse, as I suspect you have many times, so I don't believe you should be seeing patients.
But I would never harm a patient.
You almost did, as you recall.
If you cared about your patients as much as yourself, you'd be the first to say that you can't risk practicing here, at least not now.
All right, thank you.
I appreciate your honesty.
I do.
But I'm gonna prove you wrong.
I sincerely hope so.
Hi.
I'm Dr.
black.
Truman Bishop.
You can call me Truman.
Don't bother trying to talk to him.
He doesn't speak unless he wants to.
He just stares at me, follows me everywhere, dresses just like me, right down to the socks.
And every gesture See? Look at him.
He's doing it right now and driving me crazy.
I'm haunted by this "other," a carbon copy of myself but a horrible, twisted version.
Can you help me make him go away so I can be alone again? - Catherine.
- Yes.
I've been looking for you.
Any significant findings in Mr.
Bishop's exam? Um No focal deficits.
Right, there's no nausea, no headaches, no sign of brain tumor at all.
It's a clear case of heautoscopy It's the classic doppelganger experience.
Interesting factoid In folklore, the sight of the imaginary twin is often seen as a harbinger of death.
It happened to Abraham Lincoln.
On the evening of his election, Lincoln saw himself in the mirror with two faces.
One was paler than the other.
His wife said it was a sign that he would be elected to a second term but that he wouldn't survive it, which, of course, turned out to be the case.
Is "factoid" a word? She has a good point.
Early death does correlate with heautoscopy.
It often coexists with depression, and he's obviously depressed.
Perhaps he should consult with Dr.
Mahmoud.
Any history of psychosis? He was sectioned a few weeks ago.
The E.
R.
diagnosed a psychotic break, but it was a misdiagnosis.
I'll let Mahmoud decide that.
The underlying problem here is not psychiatric.
He has a seizure disorder.
Any overt signs of seizure? No, but I'd like to get a 24-hour E.
E.
G.
Without any seizure activity? Is there any reason why we shouldn't do this? I've already scheduled it.
You should have checked with me first.
I'll allow it.
Come on, not now.
It only takes five minutes.
I have the key to the pharmaceutical room.
I have an ulnar nerve decompression.
Now I'm gonna have to scrub in again.
So Catherine's back and now I'm out? Is that it? You really want to do this? Yeah.
Catherine and I are friends.
We have a professional relationship.
You're in love with her.
I'm not in love with anybody.
Are you lying to yourself or just me? So, match day, huh? What's that all about? It's the day when medical students all across the country find out where they'll be doing their residencies next year.
We've each submitted our first choice.
Leo and I want to be here at the Cube, obviously.
He wants the one spot for neurosurgery, I want the one for neurology.
On the actual day, there's a ceremony.
At every medical school, the same drama plays out.
The letters are laid on a table, and exactly at the stroke of noon, we all open them at once.
And in one blood-curdling instant, triumph or disaster.
Ali? - Oh, my God.
- Hey.
- Who is that? - That's Ali.
She had the neurology rotation right before you.
What up? Ali, this MacKenzie.
MacKenzie, this is Ali.
Hi.
What have you been doing? Oh, I-I published a paper in Neurology on how infarct and non-infarcted brain volumes affect locomotive performance following stroke, and this summer, I'm working with partners in health in Rwanda.
Rwanda? Yeah, to help start their first neuro clinic there.
Where do you want to do your neuro residency, if you don't mind my asking? Oh, I'm going for the Cube.
How about you? What are you still doing in bed, you lazy good-for-nothing? Get up.
I said, "get up!" Let's go! Move! Do it now! Don't look at me like that.
Stop it.
Stop it! Stop it! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Hello, Truman.
This is Dr.
Lark.
How are you feeling today? I'm not sure how I am because I don't know who I am.
Have you been seeing your twin? He was here a moment ago.
Do you feel dizzy or confused? Dizzy, yes.
I believe this is a complex partial seizure disorder.
That's why you have the hallucinations.
That's when you see your twin.
I can't tell the difference anymore.
So, to make sure this is CPSD, we need to do a 24-hour E.
E.
G.
In our sleep clinic to monitor for seizure activity.
Now, because the seizures are very subtle, this is the simplest way to prove they exist.
Truman? Do whatever you have to do.
Kitty? Johnny? I'm dying.
I have to find our daughter.
You have acute myelogenous leukemia? Yep.
AML.
For how long? Uh, diagnosed a little over a year ago.
I'm sorry.
You're in chemo now? Yeah.
They they call it "salvage chemo" 'cause they can't cure anything.
It just keeps you around long enough till you can find a donor.
If I don't get a transplant soon, I'm I'm not gonna live more than a few months.
I have no more living relatives, which is why it's important that I find our daughter.
Johnny, it was a closed adoption.
I signed papers.
The adoptive parents are never to be bothered.
This is my only chance.
Don't you see that? And can't you do something? I never stopped thinking about you, Kitty.
I used to read about you.
And I never intended to bring this kind of bother down on you or our child.
I didn't.
I mean, she's like 16 now, right? So doesn't she have the right to decide for herself whether or not she wants to save her father? She has a father and a mother.
It would be up to them to decide this.
I You know where she is, don't you? Yes.
Please, Catherine, tell whoever has our little girl that this is my last chance.
If they turn me away, they're signing my death sentence.
No! Leave me alone! Get help.
Hey, hey, calm down.
It's okay.
I'm a neuroscientist.
I understand bipolar.
I just can't believe how well she hid it from me.
Well, that could reassure you she can manage her disease.
I've had patients who hid it for 20 years more.
I know, I know if they stay on their medication.
It's extremely common for people with bipolar to resist taking their medication.
Is is that an issue with Catherine? It has been in the past.
- Hmm.
- Dr.
Black is lucky in that she has more mania than depression.
The consequence is that she misses the upside of what the medications suppress The insights, the ecstasy, the energy.
Does she have slips? Yes, some with near-fatal consequences, but never for her patients.
The danger's always been for herself.
She came to work at the Cube in a manic state.
That can't happen.
It might.
You'll have to accept that.
You understand the situation I'm in.
I do.
But isn't the Cube a place where part of your mission is to help those with neurological issues adapt to their conditions and discover, in spite of the limitations, new gifts? Yes.
Dr.
Black's bipolar has that quality.
She's a great doctor, and in part because she understands her patients because she's like them.
She has a different brain.
In my opinion, the rewards of having Dr.
Black at the Cube far outweigh the risks.
But there will always be risks.
Always.
We have to tell Esme.
No.
We were gonna do it eventually, so we do it now.
This is unfair, and you both know it.
We made a deal, and I agreed on one condition That I would never end up the odd one out.
You won't be the odd one out.
I will.
You're both her real family, and she'll know that now.
You're always gonna be her mother.
Always.
You think I want this? I don't want this.
This is my worst nightmare.
Today, she loves me.
Tomorrow, she's gonna know that I abandoned her.
Look, we are all in this together.
She thinks I'm her father.
Now I'm her uncle.
No one's gonna take your place.
I don't want to tell her.
There is a life at stake here.
What about Esme's life? Are we are we gonna risk her happiness, her mental health? What will the shock of this do to her? She's my first priority.
I don't know this Johnny.
What about the day when Esme finds out that he did exist and that she could have saved him but we stopped it? What then? Do we want to be responsible for his death? Oh.
Hi, guys.
You're home early.
Yeah, uh, orchestra was cancelled.
Thank God.
I have so much homework.
What's going on? I came to see your parents.
Is everything okay? Everything's fine.
Why don't you go upstairs and do your homework? Okay.
She's strong.
She'll adapt.
We don't have to cushion her from every challenge.
For every reason under the sun, we have to tell her the truth.
Not "we.
" If this is gonna happen, you and I will do it.
Reagan.
I understand.
You're her parents.
However you want to handle this.
Hi.
Hey.
I don't want to disturb you.
I've been thinking.
I don't know.
Can we rewind the clock? - Good morning.
- Good morning.
Your patient, Truman Bishop, had a psychotic break.
I've asked Dr.
Mahmoud to join us.
What makes this a psychotic break? He's had a seizure, and now he's obviously hallucinating.
The 24-hour E.
E.
G.
shows no seizure activity.
Which means this debate is over.
No, the E.
E.
G.
can often be inconclusive.
Sometimes, they miss seizure activity.
We're gonna need a SPECT to be certain.
We can do that next time Truman sees his double.
Dr.
Mahmoud's taking over the case.
Okay, I don't understand.
What's going on here? I mean, I'm good at this.
Have you forgotten that? I told you that from now on, I'm making all the decisions.
Farrah.
Hey, about last night.
- It won't happen again.
- No, no, no, just Let me explain.
Just listen.
It was harder than I expected, not seeing you for a month, and we both know what happens when we get together, so I was just trying to get you out of my mind.
With Carlotta.
It's not very gentlemanly of you, Bick.
I never was much of a gentleman.
And I never wanted to be Till I met you.
I can't do this.
I'm sorry.
I I got to take this, okay? Joshua, what happened? We told her.
And? Uh, she was quiet for a while.
Then she said, "that explains a lot.
" - She said that? - Yeah.
And then afterwards, she went into her room and locked her door.
- Did she cry? - No.
She was angry, Catherine.
But Reagan cried all night.
Will she let me talk to her? She's not talking to any of us.
She went to school today without a word.
Did she agree to see Johnny? Yes.
To take the test to see if she could be a donor? Yes.
All right, I'll I'll call him right away.
We'll get through this.
It had to happen.
She adores you, and she loves Reagan more than she knows, okay? I'll call you when I get Johnny, all right? Mr.
Bishop.
So far, we haven't found anything in our tests, so what we want to try next is a full psychiatric exam.
This is Dr.
Mahmoud.
She's our consulting psychiatrist.
You think I'm crazy? We think you're hallucinating, and that's consistent with psychosis.
Fine, take him.
He's the crazy one.
Do you remember Catherine said that when he sees doppelgangers, he's actually having a seizure.
She wanted to get a SPECT scan while he was having one to get a seizure focus.
Look, there's another one.
Okay, do do you smell a kind of a metallic odor right now? Yes.
Mm-hmm.
That may be consistent with a seizure.
I'm gonna order a SPECT scan.
Johnny? Johnny? No carotid pulse.
I'm calling 911.
Four, five, six, seven, eight.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Joshua? You got to get Esme.
Bring her to the hospital.
Johnny's on his way there.
I just found him in his apartment.
He was unconscious.
He's running out of time.
We can't find Esme.
She didn't go to school.
They just called us and told us she never even showed up.
We don't know where she is.
She ran away, Kate.
There's the focus of abnormal activity in the left temporal lobe.
If you remove it, Mr.
Bishop may stop having hallucinations.
Well, she was right.
I think it's time to trust her.
Let go.
Believe me, I'd like to.
Dr.
Bickman, they're paging you in the O.
R.
Go.
To be continued.
Got to stop doubting her judgment as a doctor.
She's incredibly gifted.
This place isn't the same without her.
Dr.
Bickman, report to the O.
R.
Dr.
Bickman, to the O.
R.
stat.
Will? Hey.
Esme.
What are you doing here? Hiding from everybody.
What's wrong? I'm not who I thought I was.
Esme? My whole life, everyone I've ever loved was lying to me My mom, my dad.
I can't even call them that anymore.
They're not my real parents.
Come here.
Good luck.
Okay.
I'll see you on match day.
Okay, can't wait.
You have everything.
You're beautiful, brilliant.
You're the kind of woman I always wanted to be and never will be.
You could have a great residency anywhere.
The Harvard program, Johns Hopkins, Stanford, UCSF, name it.
But please don't try for the Cube.
This is all I have.
Then you need to get something else in your life.
Hi.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Is that him? - Yeah.
It's Johnny.
He's stable, but it was a close call.
The chemo suppressed his immune system, and he went into septic shock.
He almost died today.
Will called.
Esme's been at the restaurant.
Okay.
Great.
- Are you okay? - Yep.
You had us so worried.
Esme.
I love you.
I'm ready to meet my biological father.
I want my real dad to come with me.
And my real mom.
I think we should open our letters at the same time.
Oh, heads up.
It's 11:59.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Oh, sorry.
Come on, I want to I want to talk to you about what's gonna happen with you.
You were right about Truman.
And you're usually right about your patients.
And that's a gift.
It's something that I can't live without, so I'm not going to second-guess you anymore.
Thank you.
But I hope that sometime in the future, you will repay my trust.
I will.
I promise I will.
How old are you? I got some news.
She's got the same blood type as Johnny.
They're a good match.
That means a chance that it's got a good chance of working.
That's great.
When can I talk to her? It's a lot to take in.
Just give her time.
I'm proud of her.
You should be, too.
I'll never stop being proud of her.
Truman, to free you from these hallucinations, we're gonna have to operate to remove part of your left temporal lobe.
All I want to know is, can you make these people go away? The surgery is successful in the large majority of cases, but it's a very serious operation and there are always risks.
My guess would be you would have some memory loss, which I hope would be temporary.
Please do whatever you have to do.
I just want to be normal.
Scalpel.
Scalpel.
Dr.
Morely, there's something that I have to tell you.
Well, go on.
Last month, Dr.
Black had me fill out a prescription for oxycodone.
Oh, oxy? Yeah, it's for Skylar Redmond.
He has a post-lumbar headache.
She gave him oxycodone.
He must have been in pain.
No, I took care of Skylar, and I'm sure that he was never in pain.
What's your point, Carlotta? Nurses administer the meds, but she insisted that she could handle it.
I'll give it to him.
Okay.
Are you saying what I think you're saying? Thanks.
The oxy wasn't for Skylar.
That's a very serious accusation.
Are you prepared to back it up? Yeah.
I printed out the prescription that Dr.
Black signed.
And here's Skylar's mother's number.
She will tell you that she never left his side while he was a patient here.
Dr.
Black never gave him this drug.
You're fired.