The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants (2018) s01e12 Episode Script

1 [narrator.]
This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
George is the kid on the left with the tie and the flat top.
Harold is the one on the right with the T-shirt and the bad haircut.
-[bell dings.]
-Remember that now.
-What's up with Krupp's eyebrows? -Shh, I think they can hear us.
-Wait, are those happy eyebrows? -You bet your sweet patooty! Just 24 more office visits until you're expelled! Isn't it great? Twenty-four? We're so not worried.
We got plenty of runway.
-[bell dings.]
-That's 484! [laughs.]
-We're really burning up runway.
-Maybe we should slow our prank roll.
-[bell dings.]
-And that's 491! [laughs.]
We should definitely slow our prank roll.
-[bell dings.]
-Yes, 497! [laughs.]
Why didn't we slow our prank roll? So George and Harold make comic books -We're cool! -Me, too! But they had a mean old principal Who told them what to -Blah, blah, blah, blah.
- So they got a hypno-ring And first, they made him dance Then, accidentally, kinda on purpose Turned him into Captain Underpants Tra-la-la! With a snap, he's the Captain Not the brightest man And don't forget, when he gets wet - You're back where you began span style="style1"/-Blah, blah, blah.
Put it all together What could possibly go wrong? Now this is the end Of the Captain Underpants song - By George Beard and Harold Hutchins - Tra-la-la! -What is wrong with us? -Live by the prank, die by the prank.
True that.
But we got to find a way to stay occupied and out of trouble or we're gonna get expelled.
How? It's not like an idea's gonna smack us in the face.
[both groan.]
Sorry, I'm giving a Tomorrow Talk on T-shirt cannons and it went off by accident.
"Tomorrow Talks, educational speeches about future stuff.
" Wow, that's an informative T-shirt.
-[Harold.]
When is it? -Tomorrow.
Ow! Harold, this is how we stay busy.
We'll do a Tomorrow Talk.
[upbeat music playing.]
Our Tomorrow Talk today is about something that will change your life.
-Tell them what it is, Harold.
-Um [stutters.]
It's something so amazing and so great, you won't believe it.
-Go ahead, George.
-It's something so incredible, only Harold can do it justice.
Oh, just thinking about it leaves me speechless, which is why I'll let George take it from here.
-Hmm Or not.
-Yeah, not.
You oxygen thieves aren't qualified to talk about today, let alone tomorrow.
Ha! Time-related burn! [laughs.]
-Even Melvin's burns are nerdy.
-Okay, we need to do something else.
Three more clicks to a world of glee Their poor life choices Gonna set me free A boop, doop, scoop, bop, dang, a-- Huh? [gasps.]
Miss Anthrope! -Did you call me? -No! Wait, yes! -Look at my head! -Not again.
No, it's real this time! There's a hair! A hair! Can you believe it? -It's a hair miracle, sir.
-My follicles are back in business, baby! It's all thanks to George and Harold's impending expulsion! Imagine what my hair will be like when they're gone for good! [humming out of tune.]
-[horn blares.]
-Hey! Get off my yacht! [George.]
Look, we know we gotta stay busy to stay out of trouble.
So far we've eliminated joining a golf club, knitting, and building an aqueduct.
Want to make a comic instead? What are you talking about? Comics always get us in trouble.
So, yes? Ooh! I just got an amazing idea.
-[farts.]
-[laughs.]
That is a great idea! [retches, coughs.]
Whoa! Might be time to order a little more Fart-A-Tart.
[both.]
Fart-A-Tart! The everyday spray that makes George's farts smell like tarts.
[farts.]
Mm! Tart-tastic! [laughter.]
Anyway [comic narrator.]
So, there was this mad scientist who wasn't mad like "Grrr" mad, but mad like "a duck who thinks he's a tractor" mad.
Weird, right? Anyways, he worked alone, which was lonely, so he ended up talking to his farts a lot, like everybody.
But then one day, he had an epiphany, and he was like, "Maybe I won't be so lonely if my farts could talk back.
It's genius!" So he turned one of his farts from a stinker into a thinker.
Ding! And he named it Smartsy Fartsy because what else, right? And the scientist talked to Smartsy Fartsy about smart stuff, like atomic molecule junk and Voltaire and his disappointing childhood and his dream of directing a short film for Sundance.
But the mad scientist was in for a way crazy surprise.
Smartsy Fartsy wasn't that smart.
What? Yeah, no, 'cause on account of him being made of fart.
And farts are made of beans and dumb and stink and brimstone and egg and stupid.
So, that's what Smartsy Fartsy was.
A big, dumb fart cloud monster, who decided to terrorize the town with stinky stupidity.
Anyway, the townspeople were all mad at Smartsy and, like, "Someone stop that dim fartbulb! Can't breathe! Choke, choke! Ugh! Choke.
" All Smartsy could say was, "Duh, me like mailboxes.
" And that's when Captain Underpants, who'd been practicing holding his breath [inhaling.]
hold to go pearl diving, flew in.
"Tra-la-la!" Captain Underpants tried to punch Smartsy Fartsy away, but it turned out you can't punch a fart! Whiff! Whiff! Not surprising.
Smartsy Fartsy got all mad and tried to stink-blast Captain Underpants into space.
Once, blast! Twice, blast! But Captain Underpants got it together and was like, "Not today, Toots! Nope and stuff!" He realized he could blow Smartsy Fartsy away with his super breath, which he had just developed.
Wow, superbreath! Inhale.
Woosh.
It's super! And everyone could breathe again.
Okay, the end.
So? It's a comic.
What's the charge? -Unauthorized use of a school stapler.
-That's a rule? Okay.
Write it down.
School stapler.
-Yep! And that makes 498.
-[bell dings.]
Now you're just two visits away from getting the boot.
I even bought a new boot for the occasion.
-That is a nice boot.
-How does this count as an office visit? We're not even in your office.
It's too nice a day to keep my office inside, but it still counts! [Mr.
Krupp.]
Huh? Ha! Miss Anthrope! Another hair! [George.]
These bubble suits are pretty genius.
No way we can get in trouble wearing these.
-Oh, no.
Dodgeball! -Oh, no.
[both groan.]
Guys, this is not a long-term solution.
-It's all we got.
-We're hanging by a thread.
[shudders.]
Oh! My dignity! -If only we could get rid of Mr.
Krupp.
-Before he gets rid of us.
Well, the only person who can do that is the school superintendent, Dr.
Vil Endenemys.
Amenities? -Endenemys.
-Emperornoknees? -No, Endenemys.
-And dentistries? -Endenemys.
-Adventuretrees? -En-den-em-ys.
-Agree to disagree.
-But we're in.
Can you pop us free? -Sure, just let me finish them.
I'm gonna need a brain scan for-- [groans.]
[Mr.
Krupp.]
We had some times together.
Topeka, Cleveland, Cedar Rapids.
But it's the end of the road, Wigsworth.
Miss Anthrope! Did you call--? [groans.]
Donate these wigs to hairless cats or whatever.
I'll never need a wig again! Never! [laughs.]
Except this guy.
We had some times.
[shudders.]
Smartsy Fartsy? Intelligent gas.
That's actually a good idea.
The kind of good idea that could get me into Eliteanati Academy.
And I'd owe it all to George and Harold.
No! Snap out of it! [grunts.]
[door creaks.]
Whoa.
So I guess this is what Dr.
Endiddlebees looks like.
Endenemys! -[both.]
Ah! -[farts.]
[both.]
Fart-A-Tart! I've been expecting you, George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
-How do you know our names? -Well, you called.
-This is George Beard -And Harold Hutchins.
[Harold.]
George is the one on the left with the tie and the flat top.
[George.]
Harold is the one on-- Yeah.
Well, our principal, Mr.
Krupp, wrote a rule in the rule book -that says if we-- -Stop! He wrote a rule in the rule book? By hand? Yeah, a bunch of them, actually.
No principal has the authority to write rules! His spelling's not good, either.
Bring me that book and Mr.
Krupp is out! -Like vacation? -Like baseball? -Like fired! -If he gets fired, he can't expel us.
All we have to do is sneak into his office and get that book.
-So do it! -[both scream.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I, Mr.
Meaner, we're here-- I'm here to [groans.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[both repeating.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[both.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-[George.]
Let's go.
-[laughs.]
There's a new, yeah, yeah, yeah, me on the loose.
[screams.]
[Mr.
Meaner.]
Ow! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[George.]
Sir, there's a toxic spill! Evacuate and leave the rule book! -Never! -We'll keep it safe.
-[George.]
Give me! -Aah! -[Krupp screams.]
-[Meaner.]
Ow! [Mr.
Krupp groans.]
-[Mr.
Krupp humming, laughing.]
-[whirring.]
Huh? [grunts.]
[grunts, groans.]
Another victory for the sea.
So, you guarantee this safe is safe? Because I need to keep this book safe by putting it in a safe.
That's why I spent the school's entire chair budget on a safe.
[groans.]
[all groaning.]
Safe.
Safe.
When you say it a bunch of times, it doesn't sound like a word anymore.
Safe.
Safe.
Safe.
Safe? Wait, who's gonna carry this in? Miss Anthrope! -Safes are easy to crack, right? -Not as easy as this.
-[farts.]
-Oh.
Sheesh.
[both.]
Fart-A-Tart! You are a fartiste, my friend.
-"Ways to open a safe.
One, explosives.
" -Fresh out.
What else? "Two, acid strong enough to dissolve metal.
" -Think they have that in the science lab? -No, but maybe in the cafeteria.
-[Melvin.]
Welcome! -[narrator.]
That whiny voice was Melvin's.
He's busy rehearsing because he invited Eliteanati Academy to his Tomorrow Talk.
Welcome, esteemed members of Eliteanati Academy.
Behold my greatest invention, the Elevapor 2000! It can bring inert gas to life! Hey, that's our idea! -Coinkydink? -No.
-[clapping.]
-Thank you, Clappyhands 2000.
Lifeless gas goes in and an intelligent cloud comes out! [machine shuts down.]
Why is this not working? [groans.]
I'm being clapped silly! Ah! Now I'm being clap-handled! Ah! Harold, a living gas cloud could get into Krupp's safe! -Sure, but where are we gonna get gas? -Seriously? [laughs.]
Of course.
Dumb question.
Quick, before Melvin gets back.
-[Harold.]
Let it rip! -[farts.]
[machine whirring, dings.]
Greetings! [gasp.]
The gift of life has been bestowed upon me.
It is a gift I shall not take for granted.
Harold, it's Smartsy Fartsy from our comic, only smart! And stinky like an outhouse! What a wild plot twist I didn't see coming at all.
-So, my name is Smartsy Fartsy? -Uh, yeah, we got it from a book.
Ah! Literature.
Nectar for the mind.
May I read it? First, let's play a game called "Safecracker.
" Sounds delightful.
How does one play? With a racket? Perhaps a shuttlecock? No, man.
There's a book in a safe.
And if you get it, you win.
But you play alone, at night, when no one is here.
I won! Huzzah for me! Huzzah! -Salutations! -[both gasp.]
You shall be elated upon the discovery of my procurement of your desired tome! [both.]
Uh -[sighs.]
I got your book.
-Yes! Now we take the book to Dr.
Endoscopys and we won't be expelled.
Right after we play with Smartsy here, since we're invincible now.
Another game? I do hope this one proves more challenging.
You'll love it.
It's called "Prank.
" -[Fartsy farting.]
-[Meaner.]
Silent but deadly! [laughter.]
I don't understand, I didn't do anything.
Oh, yes, you did! Oh [laughter.]
I'm afraid I don't understand the challenge.
You're doing great! [upbeat music playing.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Ugh! [laughter.]
"Just because you can read doesn't mean you should.
" [sighs.]
How is this school still open? "U should toot on me.
" [sighs.]
I got to transfer to a real school.
[laughter.]
I'm afraid I find your insipid and jejune antics excessively vapid.
I know, right? What? -[Smartsy fartsy farting.]
-[all screaming.]
[sighs.]
What hath you become? A cloud, "full of sound and fury, signifying nothing," to quote Shakespeare? What is this? Smartsy Fartsy? An article of literature featuring me? Read this, I shall.
"Dumb"? "Stupid"? "Dim fartbulb"? "Me like mailbox"? [gasps.]
Outrageous! This is what they think of me? This mawkish tomfoolery of disrespectful tripe! No respect! I'll make them pay for that mistake! Welcome to the Tomorrow Talks.
Pay attention and stay awake! By the way, how do you like my hair? Pretty full and lush, right? [boy.]
This stinks! Who would've thought a talking toot would save our butts? Me.
Have you seen our lives? Point.
But we're golden once Krupp's gone.
So let's get that rule book to Dr.
Endoftheroadys.
-Hey, wh-where's the book? -Back in the safe where it belongs.
-[George.]
What? -I read your rude drivel.
You think I'm a mindless, pratfalling, gaseous clown to be used in your childish games.
Well, now we're going to play a little game I call "Expulsion.
" Care to hear the rules? -Can we say no? -No.
-But you said it.
-I'm exposing your pranking spree, insuring your expulsion! Doesn't sound like a game.
-Yeah, can we play badminton instead? -No, you may not! This is the price you pay for your vile tom-fartery! Farewell, cretinous miscreants! Wait, wait! We made that comic before we made you.
Yeah, now that we know you, we think you're amazing.
We can make sure that everyone else does.
Really? How? Sorry! Still trying to break this bronco.
Tomorrow Talks.
That's it! We'll tell everyone how awesome you are at the Tomorrow Talks! -Today! -Tomorrow.
-Today.
-The talks? -Tomorrow.
-Today! Just come with us.
Behold, esteemed guests from Eliteanati Academy! And the rest of you human packing peanuts.
Today, I unveil my greatest invention! The Elevapor 2000, which-- Totally works! Melvin's thingy made this guy! [audience gasping.]
I am gas.
And I think.
Therefore, I am.
Also, I'm very smart.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah! -[cheering.]
Finally! The respect and adulation I so clearly deserve.
No, no, no! They're clapping for me! I did this! Yes, celebrate my brilliance! -Whoa.
What stinks? -Him! We made him out of my fart.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah! -[laughter.]
No! You've made a mockery of me before Eliteanati Academy! You've jeopardized my future! Not fair! [whimpers.]
You lied! You have made me a laughingstock! Well, try laughing when you can't breathe! -[grunts, farts.]
-[George and Harold.]
No! -[Harold.]
Smartsy's out of control! -What is going on here? I'm trying to give my luscious locks a blow-out! And-- Oh, what smells like a wet dog eating a diaper? -Great timing! -Time for Captain Underpants.
[snaps.]
Tra-la-la! Hey, more hairs! I'm beautiful! Wow, who farted? Are you mocking me? [grunts.]
I will make you eat those words! And fart! Wait, are you gonna make me fart, or eat a fart? 'Cause I got one of those covered already.
[farts.]
[both grunting.]
[narrator.]
The fight's too violent to show, so we're gonna turn on Gas-O-Rama instead.
But remind us to turn it off.
If we don't, it'll get awfully funky in here.
Crack the Ripper! [comic narrator.]
Gas.
Farts.
Backend Blowout! [comic narrator.]
Farts.
Gas.
A Fighty Wind! -[Underpants.]
Ooh! span style="style1"/-[comic narrator.]
Farts.
[groans.]
I can't stop that fart! [grunts.]
Or this one! [gasps.]
[grunts.]
You are too stupid to fight gas.
And you're too gas to fight stupid.
Wait a sec.
Cap, don't punch! Blow him away! [inhales.]
Oh, no, I breathed him in! And I taste fart! Oh, no! [groaning.]
Oh, of all the dumb That bulbous man-baby actually inhaled me! [grunting.]
We got to get Smartsy out of Captain Underpants' insides before they turn into his outsides! Gross! Uh, jump on him? Ah! Whoa! I'm mad gassy, yo! Help! -Whoopee! -Yes! We did it! You certainly did, if by "it," you mean sealed your doom.
Wait, is that glowing new? [narrator.]
Yes, because as this drawing shows, Smartsy combined with Captain Underpants' super-DNA to become super-powered.
That's the explanation we're settling on.
-Eh, Makes sense.
-Makes enough sense.
Your extraordinary undergarment power is now mine to wield! [both retch.]
Oh! Ew, gross! -[laughs.]
-[all screaming.]
-Behold my Fartosphere! -[girl groans.]
An impenetrable prison of stink from which there is no escape! Pretty sure I'm fanning more into my face, but I'm gonna keep doing it! No, Captain Underpants, use your super strength to fan Smartsy away! Okay! [screams.]
It's not working! This fan is more pretty than wafty! Use a bigger fan! Bigger! Bigger! -Wrong kind of fan! -[man screaming, thudding.]
Guys, I'm all fanned out! Huh? [reporter.]
Flying Blind news reporter Helen Copter here, live at the fart school! Captain Underpants, the helicopter! Yeah, it's like a giant fan.
Hold on.
Give him a second.
[farts.]
Hey, a giant fan! -We need that! -There it is.
Tra-la-la! [screams, groans.]
I got fart-blocked! How can we cut through the Fartosphere? I don't know.
I just know how to cut yours.
[both.]
Fart-A-Tart! Wait, Smartsy is mine.
So Fart-A-Tart should do the trick.
It's just crazy enough to work! [Captain Underpants coughs.]
Ho-ho! Lemony and stingy! Fart's away! Oh, it worked! Help has arrived.
-Where are your pants? -Is this TV? -When will it be on? -Right now.
We're live.
I'm gonna have a viewing party.
You should come! And bring cups.
And cheese.
And a TV.
-Buckle up! -What? -[grunting.]
-Oh! No! I deserve respect! If you blow me away, I shall return more powerful than you can possibly imagine! You haven't smelled the last of me! [both groan.]
-He's gone! -Oh.
Ah! And I am sore.
Wow.
I tore everything.
[narrator.]
Oh, sprinklers! And we all know that water turns Captain Underpants back into -Mr.
Krupp.
-Blah.
Who took my pants? You two! -[bell dings.]
-Congrats, boys! You're one visit away from expulsion, and I'm one bald patch away from a man bun.
Miss Anthrope! There's 499 candles.
I bought them with the school's electricity budget.
Go on.
Blow them out! -[electricity shuts down.]
-Wait! Don't blow them! "For conduct unbecoming Eliteanati Academy, we reject your application, nothing personal.
" I keep reading it, and it never changes.
Cake-tender, give me another! -Sorry, kid, you've had enough.
-No, I'll tell you when I've had enough! And I've had enough.
My stomach hurts.
[man.]
Don't worry, Melvin.
I can help.
Your future's unwritten.
But I have the pen.
Am I supposed to know that? And how do you know my name? Why are you wearing a robe in this heat? All will be revealed.
Except for the robe.