The Flash s01e12 Episode Script

Barry, it's Megan.
L Hi, this is Barry.
I'm out running around.
Leave a message.
Damn it, Barry.
It's Megan.
If you're there, please pick up the phone.
I'm in Willow Haven and I need help fast.
I can't believe you've never seen The Philadelphia Story.
Well, between my dad and my brother, I grew up watching Westerns.
There are no six-shooters here.
You have Katharine Hepburn choosing between Gary Grant and Jimmy Stewart.
Wow, that sounds action-packed, huh? It depends on what you call action-packed.
Intense fleeting passion or complex but true love.
Look, I just hope there's a cartoon with it, all right? Where is that remote? Oh, no.
I hope it's not the office.
Damn it, Barry.
It's Megan.
I need help.
I'm in Willow Haven.
Please.
Fast.
- Megan Lockhart? - The detective? But I thought she left Central.
Willow Haven's a resort town north of here, right? - I gotta go.
- It's 150 miles from here.
I know, I've never done that distance before.
I don't wanna be a broken record, but you can't I know, I know, I know.
I'm risking muscle fatigue dehydration, blackouts.
You heard the message.
Start without me.
I'll be back.
Well, I guess it's just you and me, Earl.
Popcorn? Prepare to be amazed, ladies and gentlemen.
I am James Montgomery Jesse.
Welcome to my World of Illusion Wonder Show.
You're such a lovely audience.
Don't be shy.
Give yourself a huge round of applause.
You're too kind.
Hey, you call that an act? You stink! A disbeliever? See if you can figure out how this works.
And now - Something you've all been waiting for.
- What are you doing? Help me.
Help! Let me out of here! Other prestidigitators may give you the illusion of sawing a woman in half.
You're crazy! But there's no substitute for the real thing.
Can't we talk about this? Darling, you're acting like we haven't done this a thousand times before.
- Trust me.
- Go to hell.
Watch your language.
This is a family show.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, before your very eyes I shall cut my lovely assistant in twain.
What? No! Who the hell are you? Thanks, Red.
I needed that.
This is my show.
My show! A disappearing act, huh? I gotta learn how to do that.
I warn you.
I've mastered all of Houdini's secrets.
Oh, put a sock in it.
I'm glad you got my message.
Are you okay? Wiped out.
How did you get involved with "Mandrake" here? Routine repo job.
His name's James Jesse.
Like Jesse James only backwards and twisted.
I followed him across state lines, and he turns the tables and starts chasing me.
I thought I lost him on the back roads and then he set up a trap for me here.
How was I supposed to know he was a homicidal maniac? The mustache and beard are real.
So I lied.
I've gotta tell you, I'm impressed.
It took real guts to take this guy down.
It was nothing, really.
Martial arts training and a lot of street fighting.
Well, you hit the jackpot with this bird.
He's been tough to track.
He's got more personalities than a variety show.
He's wanted for murder in five states.
That's six states.
She didn't stop me.
- It was that Flash thing.
- Yeah, right.
And I'm Bugs Bunny.
Are you sure you're all right, ma'am? You don't need an escort? No, I'm fine, really.
I've got a guardian angel.
Come on, Williams.
The lady's had a rough night already.
Megan.
You've won my heart.
You're aggressive, persistent, tough.
Everything I admire in a woman.
You hear me? I love you.
- Please.
You've got to believe me.
- Let's get out of here.
Megan, I love you.
I love you! Cold? I hope they lock that guy away for good.
Did you see his eyes? They were like tiny black holes.
Listen, I really don't think I'm up for the trek back to Central City.
Can you give me a lift? In that red suit, honey, you're riding in back.
Wait here.
- What do you think? - Very snazzy.
I'm sorry I didn't wear my clam diggers.
Oh, man.
I guess I wasn't quite ready for hyper speed, huh? I'll tell you what.
We'll stop off at the Moo and Brew.
- All you can eat for 4.
99.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Sounds like heaven.
Let's go.
- You can do that at high speed? - Lf I have to.
Oh, it makes my life sound pretty dull.
Oh, you're right.
Like tonight, huh? - Okay, you got me.
- Tina's sleeping.
No, no, no.
Don't worry.
Don't worry.
I'm awake.
Megan's with you.
Oh, of course.
Did everything turn out all right? Well, let's just say if not for Barry, I'd be beside myself.
What are you wearing? I'll explain in the morning.
Speaking of morning, I have an early appointment.
Yeah.
Barry mentioned to me what happens to you when you don't get enough sleep.
- All-girl gang, huh? - You told her about that? Well, yeah.
I brought her up to date.
Besides you, she is the only one who knows I'm the Flash.
So Well, I guess I can't be the only one.
Listen, I'll make some tea and the three of us can sit down and catch up.
- Great idea.
I've gotta hit the road.
Megan, if you're looking for a hotel the Ritz on 2nd Street has phenomenal room service.
No.
You're staying here, all right? I got plenty of room right here.
- Great.
- Yeah.
- Well, nice seeing you again, Megan.
- Same here, McGee.
Tina, listen, one more time, I'm really sorry about tonight.
Don't worry about it, Barry, I'll call you in the morning.
Okay.
- I am wasted.
- Oh, yeah.
Definitely time for bed.
I mean, you take the bedroom.
- I'll camp down here with Earl.
- Forget it, Barry.
You've had one hellish night.
I don't wanna impose any more than I have.
No, no.
Come on, get up, get up.
Before I change my mind.
If the Scouts found out I put you on the couch they'd take back my merit badges, and my red suit.
Well, we couldn't have that now, could we? You know, Barry, not only are you fast, but you're nice.
Nice? Thanks for saving my life yet again.
- Good night.
- Good night.
We could meet halfway.
I thought you were tired.
Exhausted.
Yeah, me too.
Wait a minute.
It isn't over yet, is it? Not a chance.
A red costume, with that lightning-bolt insignia signifying his dark power.
- Will you listen to him? - I can't believe we gotta haul him all the way to state lockup.
To hell with that.
Take me to Central City.
That's where this Flash lives, right? Yeah, there's no justice.
He stole the only woman I ever loved from me.
That's because you murdered the other 12 only women you ever loved.
Flash.
He kidnapped her, brainwashed her with his black science.
There's only one man who can stop the Flash.
Hey, hey, hey! There's only one man who can rescue my faithful companion, Megan Lockhart from the Flash's evil clutches.
And I am that man.
Move over.
I'm driving.
I like it.
Leased? You took her from me, red demon.
Brainwashed her.
All to make her forget her one true love.
But no matter what you do, no matter where you run you won't keep Megan Lockhart from my side because, my dear Flash, you may have defeated James Jesse but you'll never defeat The Trickster.
When our corrupt DA friend used me to blackmail you I figured I had some thinking to do so I ended up in L.
A and came to a few realizations.
- Yeah, like what? Like, one, I hate anyone who uses the word "dude" in a sentence.
And, two, sitting around doing nothing makes me totally insane.
So you started doing repo work, right? To pass the time.
The thrill, the adrenaline rush.
I know all about that.
Oh, I know you do.
So should I call the chapped-lip squad, or would you two prefer to be alone? Don't you have a morning of your own to ruin? Julio Mendez, Megan Lockhart.
- Hi.
- Hi.
How are you doing? Just picked up my costume for the policemen's ball.
Are you gonna make it? - Hey, you know? - I may not be in town that long.
Will you excuse us for a moment, please? Okay, let me get this straight.
Last night it's Tina.
This morning it's this hot chick.
What's going on? What are you, Barry's evil twin? Only that haircut would cover your filthy mind.
Well, things are Things are happening.
- They're happening? - Yeah.
Well, don't look now, but things are really happening.
- Hey, guys.
- Tina.
My turn to buy muffins and croissants for the office.
Yeah, listen.
Again, I'm really sorry about last night.
Oh, don't worry, Barry.
I understand.
Anyway, we still have the police costume ball Saturday night.
- We do? - Yeah, did you forget? No, no.
Well, yeah, kind of.
Well, you know, Megan's in town, and I thought that, well, maybe Well, maybe we could make it a foursome.
- How about Gibson from Cybernetics? - Gibson? - Yeah.
- Yeah, that would make four of us.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
No, he's not right for Megan.
No, listen, you two go alone.
I really don't want to leave you stuck on a Saturday.
Don't worry, Barry.
It's no big deal.
Saturday was iffy at best.
- Lffy.
- Yeah.
- Okay, if you're sure it's all right.
- Listen, I gotta run.
- Have a great time.
Okay, bye.
- Bye.
Hey, you forgot your croissant.
I hate to kick a man when he's doing a good job of it himself.
Although this is your day off, there's a stack of test results.
- They need your signature.
- Swell.
That's good.
A little bit to the right.
- And can you raise it up about an inch? - Will you stop, please! - Murph, come on.
Come on.
- What? You can tell me.
Just when I thought the lobotomy was working.
How many ways can you misspell "lead perpetrator" on one page? Come on.
Let's drop these on Garfield's desk.
We have the rest of the day to ourselves.
Barry.
Barry.
You have got to hear this one, man.
- You've gotta hear this.
Now - Officers Murphy and Bellows.
- Megan Lockhart.
- I remember you.
- Last year at the company fire, wasn't it? - How could I forget? - Pleasure.
- Yeah, same here.
Barry, wait till you hear this.
Okay, Sherlock, Jr.
, here every time he sees the Flash it's without me.
Now he thinks I'm the Flash.
Murphy is always out of sight whenever the Flash shows up.
I made a chart.
Okay, Flash sightings cross-indexed with Officer Murphy's patrol log? - It's very interesting.
- I rest my case.
Pure speculation, Your Honor.
Pure speculation.
Well, now, Murph, it does seem that you do protest too much.
You know, I saw the Flash once and I must say it is very close.
- Those steely eyes.
- Yeah.
Officer Murphy, I am proud to work with you.
- And your secret is safe with all of us.
- Oh, boy.
You know I would love to have you guys as witnesses.
Perkins, Crenshaw.
We've got a double homicide at the Desoto Exit on 61.
What's up, lieutenant? Well, some psycho named James Jesse.
He killed two state troopers last night and dumped the bodies in the city limits.
Those for me? - Oh, yeah.
- Thank you.
There's a billion in one chance that he could be in Central City.
No.
He's miles away from here.
I know you're right.
He has no reason at all to believe that I'm here.
- No.
- I mean none.
No reason at all.
Sure.
In my darkest hours, a raid against my greatest foes.
You always stood by me, Frank.
Ever my faithful and trustworthy sidekick.
What do you think? "Oh, Trickster, it's beautiful.
Right now I'm not feeling too beautiful.
Because my mind is clouded by the Flash's hypnotic powers.
" The fiend! But don't fret.
I'll fight to win you back, even if I have to lay the city to waste.
"Oh, Trickster, I love you.
" And I you.
With all my heart.
To The Trickster-mobile! I've been on my own since I was 15, standing up to wise guys and pimps.
I can't kick this feeling of dread.
He's got me running for my life.
Crooks I understand.
But this guy is nuts.
And he thinks he's in love with me.
So I'll take care of you.
You can't be around all the time.
And I'm not big on other people fighting my own battles.
I don't like the looks of this.
Citizens of Central City! I am The Trickster, here to rescue you from the menace known as the Flash.
And to save the darling of my heart from his fiendish affections.
Ta-ta for now.
Barry, that voice.
It's Jesse.
- I'm going after him.
- Wait.
Look.
The finance company hired me because Jesse missed his car payments.
And now he's got this fatal attraction thing for you and the Flash.
Great.
He's wanted for murder in six states under six different names.
According to the FBI, James Jesse's a role player.
A doctor in Seattle, a lawyer in Des Moines.
A magician in Willow Haven.
A costumed clown running rampant in my town? What next? It's like the Flash draws them out of the woodwork.
Wait a minute.
You think the Flash is responsible for The Trickster? Circus suit, high media profile, works outside the law.
Every loon in a three-mile radius has gotta have a case of costume envy.
Is Garfield right? Am I responsible for The Trickster? - How could you be? - No, wait a minute.
Since I became the Flash, these eccentric criminals have been coming out of the woodwork.
The Trackman, Ghost, Gideon, now this.
- Maybe I should hang it up.
- Stop blaming yourself.
Blame society.
Welcome to post-modern America.
Trickster's taken hostages at Hecksapoppins.
Don't worry.
I'm sure Murphy's on the case.
I've gotta get this guy off my case once and for all.
Not by yourself, you don't.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Roman candles Yes.
Yes, yes.
Itching powder.
Good, good, good.
Vanishing cream.
Oh, this is one terrific escape tool, let me tell you.
Let's see X-ray specs.
Total fraud.
No one's singing.
And we know what happens when we don't sing, don't we? When your love is stolen from you like that Flash stole mine you've gotta do everything you can to win her back, right? Right?! What do you know about love? Honey bun.
You're still under his power, aren't you? Let them go, Jesse.
It's over.
Do I have to kill him to prove my love? I hate it when he does that.
Are you okay? - I think I tore my knee.
- Oh, brother.
Come on.
Marbles.
That laugh.
But not for the dead body in there.
Sorry to ruin your evening, Tina.
Oh, I'm sorry, did that sting? Maybe that's why I screamed in agony.
Here, next time bite on this.
With your healing metabolism and this salve, you'll be fine in a few hours.
What a deal.
I wish I had that kind of medical coverage.
Thanks a lot, Tina.
I'm glad you were in the lab.
Well, it's not like I had much of a social calendar.
Look, I'm really sorry to have gotten you both involved in this.
What? Don't be silly.
If Jesse didn't see the Flash as a threat to his ego he wouldn't give Central City hell as The Trickster.
Yeah, but that man in the novelty shop died because of me.
Look, the question is, how are we gonna stop him? - We? - Yes.
That's how it works, isn't it? You work the streets and I work the lab.
I got used to troubleshooting Central City.
I enjoy it.
Unless you've got a giant whoopee cushion I don't think Star Labs is up to this one.
What's next? A high-speed search of the city, what? I think you should let that leg heal and I will do my own work.
- What? It's the Flash Jesse's after.
- Because of me.
I'm no damsel in distress.
I'm a detective.
I found you out and I can find Jesse.
- But - I'll call you later.
Now, what's she trying to prove? Maybe you should ask yourself the same question.
What's that supposed to mean? You can't be a knight in shining red armor for everybody, every day.
Now I have to go too.
I don't live here, you know.
- No line on the explosives? - No.
Okay, what about the statue? - Freddy Mercury? - Not Freddy Mercury.
The god of speed.
- Where would I get that? - How about a theatrical warehouse? - A theatrical warehouse.
Right.
- There's a couple dozen.
- How many? - You heard me.
Give me all of them, even the closed ones.
Come on.
Come on, come on.
What is the matter with you? You okay, Bar? Yeah, yeah.
I'm fine.
I'm great.
- Hey, have a chip.
- No, thanks.
I'm not hungry.
Now I am worried.
What's up, man? Oh, I'm just trying to access interstate files on James Jesse.
Come on, what's really going on, Barry? Ever since Megan came back to town, my life has been nuts.
And now Tina's acting like Oh, I see.
Why didn't you tell me it was about babes, man? I don't have any idea what they want from me.
Okay, okay.
Let Dr.
Love Thing set you straight, all right? You're not supposed to have any idea.
But look at it this way, man.
At least you're not sublimating your sex drive with food anymore, right? - Barry Allen? - Yeah.
Bob Endicott, FBI.
I'm on the James Jesse case.
Your chief tells me you're attached to the investigation.
Yeah, I was just going over the files from your office.
- This Jesse is a real character.
- I'll say.
He's the most brilliant criminal mind I've ever chased across 12 states.
They don't even have the San Antonio incident.
The guy was nearly elected mayor in '88.
Let's get down to brass tacks.
We're extremely concerned about Miss Lockhart and prepared to put her under federal protection.
I'm not sure she wants protection.
She's staying with me so you can talk to her if you want.
- Sir, what's up? - It's The Trickster.
He's left another love letter for your girlfriend by Parkhurst Alley.
Girlfriend.
Jesse, you are one sick pup.
Stand back.
Stand back.
Hey, get down.
We've already got some burn victims.
The lunatic's in the truck and I want the bomb squad here now! Now.
Hey, watch out for that yo-yo in the car.
He may have accomplices.
Go ahead, Murph.
Change into your outfit.
I won't tell anybody.
Will you stop with that long enough so we can take care of The Trickster? It hurts me that you don't feel you can trust me.
Bellows, if I hear one more word about this "I'm the Flash" stuff, I'll You'll what, Murph? What? Your secret's safe with me, pal.
- Take it easy.
Come on.
- Megan? She's not here, Allen.
Down, Earl.
He's a fed.
Although I'm not exactly sure why he's here.
Well, I wanted to talk, and your door was open.
Listen, you got a message on your machine.
Barry, I found Jesse's hideout.
It's the old Agitprop Theatrical Warehouse on Margo Lane.
- I'm sure she's in danger.
- Then let's go.
I don't like this one bit, Allen.
She shouldn't be here.
She can take care of herself, Endicott.
- Barry? - What did I tell you? Megan, over here.
Oh, I'm glad you could make it.
- Who's that with you? - This is Federal Agent Endicott.
- Federal agent, like hell! - Sweet dreams, Allen.
- Jesse! - Still under the mind control of the Flash.
I'd hoped my fireworks display would distract him long enough to break the spell.
Don't move, scum.
First the Flash, now this guy.
How many rivals must I tolerate? I ask so little of you, my faithless companion.
Jesse, don't.
- Maybe we just need counseling.
- As my loyal sidekick you have room for but one man in your life.
Okay, I'll be your sidekick.
Just let him go.
I don't love him or the Flash.
- Do you love me? - Yes, I love you.
- And you hate him? - He means nothing to me.
Then let's kill him.
Barry! Let him out! - Who's there? - It's me.
What happened to you? I just got an impromptu dip in The Trickster's aquarium.
I'll be right back.
- But what about Megan? - Jesse's got her.
They could be anywhere.
- We've got to do something.
- But I don't even know where to start.
Trickster thinks she's his costumed sidekick.
- So he probably hasn't hurt her.
Yet.
- Well, I hope to God you're right.
- I'm glad to see you're so concerned.
- Oh, come on, Barry.
I like Megan.
Before she came along, I was the only one that knew you were the Flash.
It was our secret.
If things are starting to happen between you Hey, hey, hey.
Listen.
Whatever happens, it's not gonna get in the way of our friendship.
I know that.
I guess I just wanted to hear you say it.
Now, we've got to think logically.
How do we handle The Trickster? That's it.
That's it.
What we have to do is not think logically.
Play The Trickster's game right back at him.
I'm gonna call him out.
"The Flash challenges The Trickster to a clash of titans.
Infintina Hotel tonight.
" In the middle of a police costume ball? The Trickster's ego is way out of control.
I'm sure he'll show.
And I couldn't assemble more cops in one place if I tried.
What's that about my not saving the world every day in my bright and shiny red armor? Sometimes you're the exception that proves the rule.
Well, call me if you hear anything from Murph, huh? Ten-four and out.
"The Flash challenges The Trickster.
" Wow! What a great idea, Murph.
Damn it, Bellows.
Didn't you hear me? Wow.
The system takes a real beating being the Flash, huh? Look at you.
I was strung up by a noose back there.
Then I was sucker-punched by a Forget it.
We gotta pick up the ladies and go to that costume party.
- Boy, do I need a drink.
- Anything you say, Murph.
Can you believe the nerve of this guy? Oh, he's alive.
Though we are sworn enemies, Prank, the Flash fears and respects my power.
And needs the might of the Central City police to back him up.
I am not Prank, and this is not some Saturday morning cartoon.
I will kill the Flash freeing you from his mental enslavement once and for all.
And then, my dearest, sweetest Prank we can really get down and celebrate our long-delayed but eagerly awaited honeymoon.
Lieutenant, Arthur Klein, Nightside News.
Can we get a comment on the impending confrontation between Central City's costumed citizens? This is no joke, Klein.
People could get hurt.
How come you guys are always looking for trouble? Why not pump the good cause behind this shindig? Because we know you would've sold more tickets if you announced the main event.
Come on, lieutenant, who's the odds-on favorite? The Flash or The Trickster? I've got heavily armed men positioned around this hall.
If those maniacs think they're gonna crash this party they got another think coming.
- Hey, look, it's the Flash.
- Where? Murph, what are you doing? I can no longer live a lie, Bellows.
That's right, Mr.
And Mrs.
America, and all the ships at sea.
Michael Frances Murphy is the Flash.
Officer Murphy, please remember that you are a policeman.
- Yes, sir.
It was a joke, sir.
- I have no sense of humor tonight.
That's brilliant, man.
No one will ever believe you're the Flash.
Can I ask you a serious question, Bellows? Did your wonder horse kick you in the head? Wonder horse? - That's a nice outfit, man.
- Thank you very much, Mendez.
Unique and original too.
You're only number 11.
Remember, my dear.
Try not to breathe.
And now for our final conflict, you crimson miscreant.
Your days in Central City are numbered.
- I'm not the Flash, you dipstick.
- A decoy? Pathetic.
- Nobody tricks The Trickster.
- We need some air out here.
Something stinks.
I knew you were coming, so I baked a cake.
Don't know my own strength.
And now here's something we hope you'll really like.
- You slime dog! - Now I get it.
This isn't the real Prank.
You substituted a robot in her place.
I can cut her and she won't bleed.
I double dare you.
Enough! I'm sick of this cartoon crap.
Magic's never been my strong suit.
But juggling is a snap.
That's all, folks.
What's the matter with you? You'll regret this.
Put that masked maniac in there.
Get him out of here.
- I don't know, Murph.
- Get out of here.
I feel like a fool.
I saw you and the Flash in the same room.
What? Where? He collared The Trickster.
Don't tell me you didn't see it.
- All that tear gas, I couldn't see a thing.
- Oh, that figures.
Well, anyway, you can't be him.
Okay, but if the Flash is so fast, why couldn't he be in two places at once? That's my costume.
I'm the Flash.
Won't somebody listen to me? I'm the Flash.
You morons.
I'm the Flash! This never should have happened.
Barry, The Trickster wasn't your fault any more than he was mine.
Hey, maybe you were struck by lightning so you could stop people like that.
- And maybe not.
Well, look at it this way.
It's a dirty job, but, hey, at least you got the suit.
Yeah, swell.
Life is so weird.
Are you ready to go home? We gotta talk.
Talk? Barry, I really like you.
- More than a lot.
More than I want to.
- Yeah, well, I'm crazy about you.
I know.
And it scares me to death.
- I gotta go.
- No, you don't.
Trust me on this one, Barry.
A year ago I would have stuck around.
Then one day you'd wake up and I would be gone.
- And I can't do that to you.
- Well, don't, okay? Don't do that to me.
I'll write you from San Francisco.
How often? Often enough to keep you interested.
Listen, let's go back to my apartment and we'll talk about this, and Say goodbye at least? - Okay.
- Okay.
I do have to change.
I mean, this harlequin bondage stuff does not suit me.
- I don't know, I kind of like it.
You would.
Besides, I'm in the market for a sidekick.
"Flashette"?