The Goode Family (2009) s01e12 Episode Script

So, Ubuntu, how's your project going to save the planet? I made an earth friendly windmill generator.
Nice try, Ubuntu, but the ice caps are melting, sea levels are rising, and yet, we still have no water to drink.
The fact is, it's all too little, too late.
But wind is sustainable.
Mm, maybe if we're lucky, it will be a windy apocalypse.
So it sounds like there's no reason to take notes.
I know we shouldn't feed Che from the table, but when it's vegan stew, I just can't help myself.
Is this that compost stuff you're always talking about? Are you feeling okay, Ubuntu? Do you need another herbal enema? Gerald? My colon's not the problem.
The world is the problem.
Planet doomed.
Tipping point.
Game over.
Ubuntu's just upset because we've thrown the world so out of whack there is no hope of saving it.
Don't listen to all that scaremongering.
I remember when we were all supposed to die in an ice age.
Then we were supposed to starve to death from overpopulation.
Kids, the simple fact is we're gonna be taken out by a super antibiotic-resistant flu bug.
What's gotten into you two? Reality.
Now hold on.
Have you guys learned nothing from the jar? Just by recycling for the past seven years, we almost have enough for our eco-cruise.
Six days and five nights of being on the open seas, harassing fishing boats.
What's the point? Might as well eat meat and flush toilet.
Honey, don't do yoga now.
You know your skills go right out the window whenever you're upset.
I know.
I'm just so worried about the kids.
I don't want Ubuntu to become jaded and cynical, and Bliss to become More jaded and cynical.
Maybe there's a downside to the constant drumbeat of apocalyptic defeatism.
Maybe.
Out of the way, jackass! "Make a difference.
" Move the bike, lance! A thous-- Uh, it costs a thousand dollars to adopt a highway?! It's a way of weeding out the riffraff.
We can't have every tom, dick and harry picking up trash on our highway.
Why? Do you want the highway or not? Hmm That's a lot of money.
But I guess it's worth it to keep Bliss and Ubuntu from becoming cynical.
You must really love your cats.
Captioned by closed captioning services, inc.
The Goode family There she is-- Route 9.
So we're adopting a highway instead of going on a vacation? Yes, this will show you that we can make a concrete difference in the world.
Right, Helen? Oh, so now you're asking for my opinion? Honey, I hated acting without the counsel of my life partner, but the situation called for action.
So wait You paid them so we can pick up garbage on a public highway? I saw a wino puking in an alley.
Pay me a hundred bucks, and I'll tell you where.
This is going to be great.
I can just picture it now - All right.
- Okay.
Ugh.
Congratulations.
Your highway.
Well, it didn't look anything like this in the photo.
There was grass.
Yeah, we find that if people know how bad the problem is, they become cynical and just give up.
So we touched a photos.
What do you think, Ubuntu? Should we give up now or in five minutes? Maybe we should just post an "adopt a dump" sign and be done with it.
- Now I know this looks bad, but what better to show that we can make a difference than to turn this eyesore into a place of beauty? But there are so many condom wrappers.
Yeah, but we'll start a groundswell.
We'll get the whole community involved.
There are so many causes to compete with.
We should have a needier font.
Ah, I don't think so.
Penny, I know it's last minute, but are you available to pick up garbage this afternoon? I think you know the answer to that.
Nah-unh.
Oh! If I could just get our message up there on the big board.
How do you do that? Nobody knows.
Margo! Busy! Ha ha ha.
Very funny.
I know that nobody cares more about our environment than you do.
It's just one afternoon.
Today? Oh, too bad.
I'll be tied up with the one earth eco event of the week Picking up trash.
Huh?! Wow.
I'd like to do it.
Me, too! It's on the big board.
Count me in! Let me help! You can count on me! Me, too! It'll be so fun! Come on, everybody.
Follow me.
Hey, look.
Your dad's here.
And there's Ray's truck and ki's minivan.
They probably could've carpooled, but this is still great.
I underestimated how bored and lonely everyone is.
Maybe this will work.
Oh, god! Newswatch 15 is here! And Benny Begosian, the average guy! And Margo looks miserable! Hello.
Welcome, everybody, because everyone here is welcome.
Ah, look.
More volunteers who share our common vision.
Welcome! All right, move it.
Step it down.
- What?! - Come on, move it now.
Nazis? Everyone who loves to hate, say cheese! I'm really for, like, the environment and stuff, but really against racist hate groups.
This one's tough.
Come on, fat-tastic.
He-- he's not one of them.
Well, he sure looks like one of them.
Oh, my biological parents were racist afrikaner criminals, but then they adopted me, so it's all been squared away.
Why don't you take a walk? Helen, I know i'm "mr.
Live and let live" But these guys? Whoo! I don't know, maybe we should've gotten you that black barbie.
Helen Thank you! Wait, everybody! Please don't go! Sir, could you please tell me, what these gentlemen are doing here? These prisoners clean this highway as part of their punishment.
Oh, first of all, uh Their work is a bit shoddy.
And, uh, second of all, I paid almost a thousand dollars to the transportation department to adopt it and clean it.
Whoo! That's a big chunk of capital to throw into maintenance.
I can respect that.
See, I'm a businessman myself.
Dean stancill.
Hey, I know you're a prisoner! Get out of there! Businessman? Ar-aren't you a criminal? There's no need to toss epithets about.
These are all fine lines, gray areas.
Didn't you see "Wall Street"? "The Godfather"? I heard something bad happened to a horse.
Regardless.
"Irregardless" is not a word.
I'm not sure if you knew that.
This job is important to us.
It gets us out of our cells and builds our self-esteem.
It's part of our rehabilitation.
Rehabilitation.
Now What can I offer you just to leave this highway to us Other than your life? Ha! Gotcha! I wouldn't hurt you or your family! Oh! Oh, my.
Well, I-i'm sorry.
I didn't get the joke at first.
But my wife and I are using this highway to show our kids that people can make a real difference in the world.
So I'm afraid we can't leave.
Look here, son.
That ain't gonna work.
Okay, we gotta head back.
There was a big fight, and we're in lockdown.
You know how it goes.
But we ain't cleaned! We need to pick up the trash! The bottles! Come on, get in there! aah! You wanna keep cleaning the highway with them? Gerald, they are nazis.
Helen, you say that about everyone.
But these are the real ones! Let's just cut our losses and spend the day at the lake.
There'll be garbage there.
Yeah, dad, I think aryan skinheads on your highway are a pretty good sign it's time to throw in the towel.
No, we can't give up.
We're making a difference.
Did you see how upset those guys were that they didn't get to pick up those bottles? There's hope for them, and if we can change them, we can change the world.
Why can't we just have a dad who's an alcoholic? So if any of those guys need a pen pal Well, here's a picture of me.
You own a wedding dress? Helen! I was hoping to run into you.
How's your "no nazi left behind" program going? You know, Margo, this whole thing wasn't my idea.
But despicable people need to learn to be green as much, if not more, than decent people.
I mean, garbage doesn't know what's in the heart of the man picking it up.
You sound like Gandhi who your buddies would hate, by the way.
Here.
Enjoy some photos.
They're not my buddies! Oh! That's her! Look, that's her! That's the terrible woman who loves the nazis.
He's cute.
Now there's no reason we can't excel at business.
Look at us-- Clearly, we're the master race.
Huh? Huh? Look at them.
They've been sitting on their butts for an hour.
I even saw one littering.
And one of them spit on the litter.
This is pointless.
Ubuntu, let's go drive around with the air conditioner on.
No, no, no.
We just have to stay the course.
Get him, boy! Get him! Hit him back! Gerald, listen to yourself! That's what republicans say when things are going really badly.
Helen, we are not quitting.
We have to show these kids that there's always hope.
Sure, these guys have been a bit lazy and foul-mouthed, and they throw around the term "immigrant horde" way too freely, but we can get through to them.
Found one! Nice.
Good job gettin' this "junk" off the highways, Clyde.
Uh, Dean? Uh, I hate to be a noodge, but it really doesn't seem like you guys are doing your fair share.
You've only picked up, uh Two lime do bottles.
I hear ya, Gerald, but we were up pretty late jumpin' in a new guy, so cut us some slack.
Well, I'm afraid I can't do that, Dean.
I can't push my kids to clean up this highway if you guys aren't willing to-- Out of my way! Now that's what i'm talking about! Good initiative, guys! Huh.
Where is everyone? Well, so much for initiative.
The prisoners didn't even show up today.
Well, maybe they started reading the tolerance pamphlet I gave them, and they lost track of time.
Ah, look, everyone.
Che's trying to give mouth-to-mouth to that roadkill.
Oh, it's too late, che.
The poor creature is already dead.
Drivers on this highway sure do like their lime do.
Well, since the prisoners didn't show up, it seems only fair that we get to keep the recymoney.
Sweet! Oh, this one's crystallized.
Still a quarter, though.
Ah, Dean and the others have no ideas what kind of money they're missing out on.
Hello, strangers! We missed you yesterday.
Ah, someone got shivved in the laundry, so we were under lockdown Again.
Wait, w-where are the bottles? Surprise! We cleaned everything this time.
You what?! Where are they?! Where are my lime do bottles?! I want the ones you picked up, and I want 'em now! Well, that's impossible.
I already took them to the recycling plant.
No! No! No! No! God! Dean, what has gotten into you? Look, if this is about the money I got for the bottles, i'm keeping it.
Uhh! Clyde, you get paroled tomorrow.
I want you to pay our buddy Gerald a little visit.
I know that unpleasantness with the prisoners this afternoon was discouraging, but please don't let it shake your faith that we can make a difference in this world.
Gerald, enough is enough.
No, trust me.
We may not have turned those skinheads, but it just may be that we haven't turned themyet.
Ugh.
Uh, Ubuntu? Little help.
Ahh.
Gracias, amigo.
Hello? This call from an inmate at the howard pope correctional facility is monitored.
- Gerald, it's Dean.
Ah.
Well, hello, Dean.
What can I do for ya? You can give me my heroi-- I want those lime do bottles, including what was in 'em.
You want me to fill them back up with lime do? I want the junk! Dean, all the junk is gone, moved by me and my family.
He already moved it! I knew he couldn't be as dumb as he looked! Okay, then.
I want the mon-- What's mine.
Uh, this is about the bottles, isn't it? Well, we have nothing left to talk about.
Oh, yes we do.
An associate of mine is gettin' paroled tomorrow, and I'm sending him over there to kill Set things straight.
Really? Well, I'll be waiting, and we'll see who gets set straight.
Oh, yeah?! I want him dead! I want his wife dead! I want his family dead! I want his dog dead! I want every vegetable in his freakin' organic garden he's always babbling about dead! It's bad enough you had us work with them, gerald.
Now you're going to have us killed by them In our own home! Oh, it'll be fine, helen.
I'm going to convince them that cleaning up the highway is in everyone's best interest.
How? Skinheads aren't exactly known for their ability to reason.
I'm just going to have to use a carrot and a stick, as barbaric as that sounds.
My vegan stew will soften them up, and then my firm but fair rhetoric will knock them down.
Maybe we should have "Hogan's heroes" playing so they can see they lighter, goofier side of nazism.
Give me the money.
Oh, dear.
There you guys go with the money again.
You can't be serious.
All this sturm und drang is about the recycling money? Yeah, the "recycling money.
" Hey, wait.
Are you wearing a wire? Are you a cop? If you're a cop, you gotta tell me.
He is not a cop, but I am calling them right now.
No cops! Now that was uncalled for.
Uh, okay, this clearly isn't working, so you are all going to sit down and have some vegan stew.
What? I said sit.
Now.
Don't make me say it again.
He means sit on chair.
Sit! He must be the enforcer.
I'm more worried about the quiet guy with the stick.
Remember what De Niro did with that bat in "The Untouchables"? Now this all started because we wanted route 9 and you wanted route 9.
Now we can keep butting heads over it, but in the meantime, nobody is cleaning up.
Nobody is getting any bottles.
And that's not good for anyone, is it? No I guess not.
I'm not eatin' this.
Eat.
Not what if I told you that there was a way we could pick up even more bottles? I'm listening.
My vegan stew will do that to people.
Now here's my proposal.
We take route 9.
You get your own road.
Maybe get two or three.
That way, you can get more inmates involved.
If you branch out, you could have the whole area-- Except route 9.
That's my family's.
So we all make money.
Stop focusing on the money.
That's your problem.
Focus on the work, and the money will follow.
There's lots of bottles out there.
Yeah But Dean handles all the business.
Well, then Dean should be focusing on the business of getting the job done and less on the business of hate.
One person can make this world into whatever they want if they are willing to change the way they look at it.
Right, kids? We need to talk to Dean.
I'll pack you some stew to go.
And then he said to stop hating and get everyone involved.
Stop hatin'? That kinda goes against our core values.
Defines who we are.
On the other hand, it might be good for business.
You know, he's right.
I've been refusing to deal with the mongrel races for too long.
And who's that hurtin'? Me.
Contact all the black and latino gangs.
Set up a meeting tonight in the showers.
I'm Benny Begosian, the average guy.
You remember the average guy was not happy when nazis were cleaning up this highway with the so-called goode family.
But this story, as too few stories have, threw the average guy a curve.
Who would've thought that cleaning up a dirty stretch of highway could have such a dramatic impact? The answer is - The Goode family.
Mom and dad adopted me from racists and made me a good person.
We adopted a highway and made these people good.
At first, it was weird making a difference, but it's actually kinda cool.
You know who else thinks what you've done is cool? Warden Jesser of the howard pope correctional facility.
The Goode family's work with our most heinous white supremacist group has had an enormous impact.
Just a week ago, if these gangs had been in the yard at the same time, half of them would've killed the other half, usually with toothbrushes that they carefully shave down to a deadly point.
The fact is that if we don't work together, then everybody loses.
And when you think about it, the only color that really matters is green.
It looks to this average guy that this hate group has been turned into a love group.
Nothing average about that story, average guy.
Looks like the goode family has been great at eradicating racism.
I'm sorry I didn't trust my life partner.
Who wants to roll that back and see it again? Yeah! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Yeah! Believe it or not, i do.
Yeah.
Why not? Ugh.
Did Dean mention if he got my proposal? The world's good.
I'm Benny Begosian, the average guy.
I like that average guy because he`s just like me!